So here are some updates on numbers that followed this open letter. In the one and a half years since publishing this open letter, here are how the numbers fell:

On my priestlynation.com blog:
— 220 articles grew to 306, an increase of 39%
— 503 comments grew to 591, an increase of 18%

The discussions have moved to ubfriends.org:
–206 articles is now 471, an increase of 129%
–4,680 comments is now 14,520, an increase of 210%

The numbers that followed my open letter tell the storyline of “significant online discussions” regarding the unhealthy ubf movement.

Never underestimate what one guy with a blog can do!

(Acts 12:21-23, ESV)

There’s a lesson there for both leaders and the lead. Based on recent events (memorial service and museum), it seems to me that neither UBF’s leaders nor their sheep have learned this lesson.

Sorry, there’s a typo. I meant “Youth with a Mission Museum”, not “Youth for Christ Museum.” And no, there isn’t a Youth with a Mission Museum either. Both CCC and YWAM have been flagged in the past as having some authoritarian and controlling tendencies, not to the level that UBF has been flagged, but still… Yet, they don’t have this self-congratulating culture that builds a museum as a memorial to themselves.

BTW, guess who else has a museum.

You mentioned above ““I apologize for the hurt that our ministry has caused you”

You cannot apologize for what you did not do. But you can apologize for what you just did here on my blog. Would you apologize for saying that I am doing Satan’s work? I would appreciate that kind of apology.

“I don’t think you would have spent 24 years in this ministry if everything you were experiencing was wrong.”
>> Then you have completely misunderstood me. Yes there were good things that happened in those decades. And yes my arranged marriage is still valid. But would you eat soup with even one fly in it? No, you throw out the soup. ubf heritage needs to be thrown out because it is like “Lord of the flies”. You likely were sheltered from all this as a precious second-gen.

>> Bonhoeffer describes what happened to us in ubf, and why ubf ministries collapse every few years. This goes way beyond Korean cultural issues:

“a community that cannot bear and cannot survive such disillusionment, clinging instead to its idealized image, when that should be done away with, loses at the same time the promise of a durable Christian community. Sooner or later it is bound to collapse. Every human idealized image that is brought into the Christian community is a hindrance to genuine community and must be broken up so that genuine community can survive. Those who love their dream of a Christian community more than the Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community even though their personal intentions may be ever so honest, earnest, and sacrificial.”
(Dietrich Bonhoeffer , Life Together and Prayerbook of the Bible, Page 35

However, I do want to respond to some of your words.

“Where is a magnificent UBF center building in Korea?”
>> I have been in Seoul. I visited several ubf “center” buildings. My first reaction was that they were magnificent. Also as I indicated above, I heard (or read) Samuel Lee say the buildings were “magnificent” and then he rebuked the Korean directors for losing “manger spirit”. But as ronwad just mentioned, perhaps this was just Lee’s typical theatrics.

“I did not mean to call you Satan”
>> Well then you probably should not say what you don’t mean. I have a difficult time respecting people don’t say what they mean and mean what they say.

“I spent my 27 years in UBF growing up in this ministry and I have not experienced an abusive leader.” …”Yes, my parents had sacrified our family for the ministry,”

>> You are a Korean second gen obviously. Do you realize how good you have things in ubf? Do you realize the blood and sweat and tears of Amiercans, Germans, Russians, Mexcians, Chinese, etc. that were shed for you to have such a good life in ubf? ubf was built on our backs and then we were discarded as if we were dung. Your Korean parents and Korean missionaries in ubf have NO intention of passing on the ubf heritage to any “native” leader. The ubf ministry belongs only to Koreans and to Korean second gens. The 50th Anniversary Blue Book says that, so did the Lee memorial service lecture this year, and so did the new ubf history dedication announcement.

>> Do you care about what happened in Toledo ubf? What about India ubf? What about Detroit ubf? What about Kiev ubf? What about Taiwan ubf? What about Kentucky ubf? What about Yekaterinburg ubf? You have things so good, but do you care that ubf offering dropped almost 30% from 2008 to 2012? Do you care that ubf attendance dropped by 17% from 2008 to 2012? Or do you think I’m just lying? Or maybe my blogs caused all of this because I’m so evil?

I think you are probably correct: “This was likely theatrics on Lee’s part”.

Does anyone see a Luther museum as a glorification of Lutheranism? No.

Does anyone see the graves of early foreign missionaries in Korea as someone’s attempt at self-glorification? No.

Is the Crystal Cathedral obscenely self-glorifying. Yes! There’s nothing uglier to me than self-glorification by alleged Christians.

A UBF Museum!? That’s not self-glorification? Of course it is. And it’s self-glorification by an organization that has a long history of elitist triumphalism and self-glorification. Where’s the Intervarsity Museum? Where’s the Campus Crusade Museum? Where’s the Youth for Christ Museum? Congratulations, UBF leaders! You’ve “pioneered” another frontier that those other second-rate campus ministries dared not venture into.

Is this how UBF members justify the yearly memorial services at Lee’s grave? By making comparisons to the Lincoln Memorial? GTFO.

BTW, the assertion that UBF centers are just simple buildings with tables, chairs, instruments and stuff is misleading. Property is not cheap, and UBF owns $millions in property all over the world.

This was likely theatrics on Lee’s part. A ubfhistoryx post might shed some light on these types of theatrics on his part:

“This July 1998 event was the UBF “world mission report” during which S. Lee supposedly rebuked the Korean UBF leaders for having too extravagant a celebration of UBF. He was apparently so upset at having such an extravagant celebration that he felt the need to have the empty seats excised from the official photo.”

I’m getting used to ubfers calling me “Satan”. Your concern is duly noted.

Speaking of truth, you mention something above that is true indeed: “To me it seems you are using a lot of it to avoid people to come to UBF.”

That is correct. I hope everyone avoids ubf. I hope ubf leaders will stand up against the abusive, cultic ways built into the ubf 12 point heritage system. I hope no more young adults in college get entangled by the false ubf ideologies. I hope no more young people get enslaved to ubf Korean masters. I hope no one else in ubf will sacrifce their families. I hope no one ever ends up in the Ohio river homeless like my friend Andrew (former Kentucky ubf director).

I am a true insider into ubf, spending 24 years there unti my wife and I closed the Detroit ubf chapter.

“Where is the $13 million ubf stash going?” The question to plant mistrust. “It is going to South Korea for magnificent “center” buildings and now a museum.” And here comes the lie. There are no “castle” centers of UBF in Korea, unless you call buildings with bible study tables, chairs, projector and probably instruments a castle.

Yes, UBF took 2nd. Gens to tombs. But it is not ancestor worshipping nor idol worshipping nor communism. That is a lie and wrong accuse. It is to teach and remember about the life of missionaries who came to Korea like Henry Appenzeller, Homer Hulbert, Horace Grant Underwood and many others. To raise concern is okay, but pls. don’t spread half truth or lies, as if that is a fact and the truth.

Thank you for making several of my points for me.

Grace and peace.

I’m not so sure about this:
“I’m sure Samuel Lee is rolling over in his expensive grave at this latest lavish display of self-glorification by UBF leaders…rolling over in delight.”

Before he died in a fire in 2002, Lee made an announcement (in a lecture maybe? or yearly letter?) where he indicated how upset he was with what Korea ubf was doing with the lavish “bible center” buildings. I remember he rebuked one specific chapter in Korea (can’t recall which one) because they were not keeping “manger ministry”.

But you do make a valid point, Lee certainly would have loved the praise and self-glorification.

I’m sure Samuel Lee is rolling over in his expensive grave at this latest lavish display of self-glorification by UBF leaders…rolling over in delight.

1 Samuel 15:1-35

15 And Samuel said to Saul, “The Lord sent me to anoint you king over his people Israel; now therefore listen to the words of the Lord. 2 Thus says the Lord of hosts, ‘I have noted what Amalek did to Israel in opposing them on the way when they came up out of Egypt. 3 Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction[a] all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.’”

4 So Saul summoned the people and numbered them in Telaim, two hundred thousand men on foot, and ten thousand men of Judah. 5 And Saul came to the city of Amalek and lay in wait in the valley. 6 Then Saul said to the Kenites, “Go, depart; go down from among the Amalekites, lest I destroy you with them. For you showed kindness to all the people of Israel when they came up out of Egypt.” So the Kenites departed from among the Amalekites. 7 And Saul defeated the Amalekites from Havilah as far as Shur, which is east of Egypt. 8 And he took Agag the king of the Amalekites alive and devoted to destruction all the people with the edge of the sword. 9 But Saul and the people spared Agag and the best of the sheep and of the oxen and of the fattened calves[b] and the lambs, and all that was good, and would not utterly destroy them. All that was despised and worthless they devoted to destruction.

10 The word of the Lord came to Samuel: 11 “I regret[c] that I have made Saul king, for he has turned back from following me and has not performed my commandments.” And Samuel was angry, and he cried to the Lord all night. 12 And Samuel rose early to meet Saul in the morning. And it was told Samuel, “Saul came to Carmel, and behold, he set up a monument for himself and turned and passed on and went down to Gilgal.” 13 And Samuel came to Saul, and Saul said to him, “Blessed be you to the Lord. I have performed the commandment of the Lord.” 14 And Samuel said, “What then is this bleating of the sheep in my ears and the lowing of the oxen that I hear?” 15 Saul said, “They have brought them from the Amalekites, for the people spared the best of the sheep and of the oxen to sacrifice to the Lord your God, and the rest we have devoted to destruction.” 16 Then Samuel said to Saul, “Stop! I will tell you what the Lord said to me this night.” And he said to him, “Speak.”

17 And Samuel said, “Though you are little in your own eyes, are you not the head of the tribes of Israel? The Lord anointed you king over Israel. 18 And the Lord sent you on a mission and said, ‘Go, devote to destruction the sinners, the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are consumed.’ 19 Why then did you not obey the voice of the Lord? Why did you pounce on the spoil and do what was evil in the sight of the Lord?” 20 And Saul said to Samuel, “I have obeyed the voice of the Lord. I have gone on the mission on which the Lord sent me. I have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and I have devoted the Amalekites to destruction. 21 But the people took of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the best of the things devoted to destruction, to sacrifice to the Lord your God in Gilgal.” 22 And Samuel said,

“Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
as in obeying the voice of the Lord?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
and to listen than the fat of rams.
23 For rebellion is as the sin of divination,
and presumption is as iniquity and idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the Lord,
he has also rejected you from being king.”
24 Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. 25 Now therefore, please pardon my sin and return with me that I may bow before the Lord.” 26 And Samuel said to Saul, “I will not return with you. For you have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you from being king over Israel.” 27 As Samuel turned to go away, Saul seized the skirt of his robe, and it tore. 28 And Samuel said to him, “The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this day and has given it to a neighbor of yours, who is better than you. 29 And also the Glory of Israel will not lie or have regret, for he is not a man, that he should have regret.” 30 Then he said, “I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, that I may bow before the Lord your God.” 31 So Samuel turned back after Saul, and Saul bowed before the Lord.

32 Then Samuel said, “Bring here to me Agag the king of the Amalekites.” And Agag came to him cheerfully.[d] Agag said, “Surely the bitterness of death is past.” 33 And Samuel said, “As your sword has made women childless, so shall your mother be childless among women.” And Samuel hacked Agag to pieces before the Lord in Gilgal.

34 Then Samuel went to Ramah, and Saul went up to his house in Gibeah of Saul. 35 And Samuel did not see Saul again until the day of his death, but Samuel grieved over Saul. And the Lord regretted that he had made Saul king over Israel.

Are you asking whether I’m trying to write like someone else or whether I’m trying to impersonate someone? If so, the answer is neither. If the question is about my user id, I hope you didn’t miss the “R. Thicke” -> “BLURRED LINES” reference.

Thanks for your comment. Are you trying to sound like someone else?

I attended the memorial service because I was invited to attend. God used Samuel Lee in countless ways to influence me toward a Christ-like life. He had the most formative and positive Christian influence upon my life, especially my love and study of Scripture and an intentional life lived for the kingdom of God. In his mentoring of me over the last 22 years of his life, I am profoundly grateful and thankful for his labor and prayer.

There are things that I do not agree nor approve of that were done by him or by some other UBF leaders. From time to time I will address them unashamedly and clearly (much to the chagrin of many current UBF leaders!).

I know that I am threading a very fine line. I love my brothers and sisters who are still in UBF, and those who have left UBF. I do not believe that I am in any way compromising my faith nor advocating bad and unbiblical practices by showing my love, gratitude and respect by attending the memorial service.

You call it a memorial service, but surely it was a worship service. You mentioned God’s name, but the focus was on a man, and the praise was for a man. You deny that you are engaging in a form of leader worship, but as was done when Samuel Lee was alive, you’ve BLURRED THE LINES between a man and God. Among those in the graveyard picture are individuals (P. Chang and others) who have emphatically blurred the distinction between obedience to themselves and obedience to God, following the fetid legacy of Samuel Lee. And you do this year after year.

You even drag people out there who never even met Samuel Lee and have them write and read praiseologies about him. Surely not everyone sitting and standing there in the graveyard agreed with everything that was said and done there, and some may have even been dragged out there. But most of you continue to engage in this form of idolatry. Even Mr. Toh, who–for all his recent enlightened and reformed thinking–still cannot help but fall on his own sword for Samuel Lee, making it sound as if the racism and abusiveness that Lee instituted was actually his own idea and practice (http://tinyurl.com/nau2e5g).

This prayer is not standard stuff.. no ubf chapter director would pray for marriage unless they were actively looking for your “suitable helper”. To the ubf missionary, prayer=action and action=prayer, so there is almost no chance they he is only praying– he is looking and likely already found your “co-worker”.

Here is what this prayer topic means:

1. Your chapter director is acting out the role of the servant in Genesis 24:1-9. He is treating you like “Isaac” and will go to a foreign land (Korea) because all the women in this land (America) are like the ungodly Canaanites. In his eyes American women are not good enough, so he ideally will want to find a Korean woman for you.

2. You will likely be married by Christmas this year, or whenever you are going to Korea (you are going to Korea right?). When you go to Korea, you’ll get engaged and/or married, and then you will come back to America. But guess what? Your “co-woker” will stay in Korea for 1 year. She will be trained until she proves she is indoctrinated with the ubf heritage sufficiently. If she fails the training, she will be made to stay another year. Some excuse will be made up for you, like “visa problems”, so that you don’t become alarmed.

This is a favorite method of mild “dead dog training” of the ubf missionaries. You’ve been demonstrating your independent mind and critical thinking lately, correct? So in the ubf missionary mind, you need training from a Korean woman because an American woman would “lead you astray”. Marriage is used like a “dangling carrot” in ubf to “train you in godliness”.

Oh and remember that special photo that your chapter director insisted you be in with him? Why was he so insistent? It was because he needed a photo with him and you so he could send back to Korea (or wherever your co-worker candidate has been found). This all sounds like my friend, who was married to a Korean woman. I’ll put you in contact with him privately (or he may read this and reply), because he can answer your questions better.

The bottom line is this: Get ready to be married and to be “trained in godliness” in some way.

You may have a personal interest in this topic, so I apologize for my offensive post here. But please understand that celebrations at cemetaries and photos with tombstones are offensive to me, both as an American and as a Christian.

If this is just “paying respect” as you say, then please answer this one question:

Why did you not pay respect to SarahRegina in the same way?

Where are the flowers, celebrations, lectures, prayers and photo opportunies on her grave?

From my perspective, I see more about Jesus and the love of God from SarahRegina’s life than from SLee’s life. I see grace and peace from SarahRegina.

What do you think about Sarah Barry and other Chicago leaders working with me to remove all negative aspects of the original Wikipedia article? We were all adults at that time.

An “Abraham of faith” is the first non-Korean recruited by a ubf chapter. Although many pray for a “Sarah of faith” I don’t recall ever meeting a “Sarah of faith”. By default the wife of the Abraham becomes the Sarah. Usually they will change your name to actually be Abraham. For many years I did not know the Abraham of faith in my first chapter (Toledo) was actually named Bob. I know him and his family.

Speaking of Bob, he was THE Abraham of faith for America ubf, beginning bible study somtime around 1978 or so. But he left ubf in 2001 for what he calls matters of conscience.

In order to understand all the ubf terms, you need a glossary. Some of us former ubf leaders have put together a glossary of ubf terms and slogans. Here is our entry for Abraham of faith:

“Term to describe the first Non-Korean male to become a sufficiently indoctrinated member of a UBF chapter. This person ranks highest in spiritual order among chapter members who are not UBF Koreans. Usually, he acts as the right-hand man of the Korean chapter director. He is usually praised and is looked upon as a role model for all initiates. The term “Abraham of Faith” derives from a twisting of the meaning of Genesis 12. Just as Abraham was called by God to leave his home and family and go to an unknown place under God’s direction, so UBF initiates are expected to leave their life behind to become completely devoted to UBF. See also Sarah of Faith. Note: The “Abraham of Faith” in the USA left UBF, citing matters of conscience in 2001.

“I mentioned it sounded like something from Confucianism and he commented that many things in the old testament incidentally sound that way.”

No, the OT does not incidentally sound like Confucianism, unless you are steeped in Eastern thought and study the OT through the lens of obedience or one of the other major values of Confucianism. I wrote about this here: http://www.priestlynation.com/archives/274

You mention some very valid points.

“But why should I believe you anymore than them?”

Exactly! Why do I share my story here? The title of my blog is “my journey of recovery from University Bible Fellowship”. I could care less if people believe me or not. I am not telling my story to persuade anyone to leave ubf or to stay in ubf. What do I want? I want my story to be heard! I speak of facts and events and my real recovery after spending 24 years in ubf (from 1987 to 2011). I was a sheep, a shepherd, a fellowship leader, a adminstrative servant, and a director of a chapter.

I really only want people to make their own decisions, and my blog offers some unique insight into things rarely spoken of within the walls of ubf. Most people who leave ubf after a few years have to deal with severe emotional and psychological trauma, and have difficulty adjusting to the normal world. I know because many of those former ubf members have contacted me from around the world.

“I pointed out that God does not curse Canaan- that Noah does, and that Noah in fact sinned.”

Awesome! I hope you keep pointing those things out. But be fore-warned, ubf bible teachers don’t take kindly to such things. I hope you don’t experience their dark side, which is another reason I write this blog and our other blog, http://www.ubfriends.org. I want to shine light on the dark underbelly of ubf so no one else gets hurt.

In regard to marriage, one of my friends wasn’t in ubf too long, and he was invited to go to Korea. My other friends pleaded with the Koreans not to talk about marriage by faith, but of course they already had someone picked out for him.

The first thing that gives evidence to you claim I noticed yesterday at bible study.The interpretation of the story of Noah and his sons is worrisome. My bible teacher (who is the pastor) said that this shows that Spiritual Order must be maintained (a phrase that appears no where in the bible) and that Gods punishment of Canaan shows us the correct response when someone in higher position sins.
I pointed out that God does not curse Canaan- that Noah does, and that Noah in fact sinned. I talked to my common life brother who mentioned that it is possible this was not a good example, I mentioned it sounded like something from Confucianism and he commented that many things in the old testament incidentally sound that way.

I am glad that you have not yet experienced the harmful control and authoritarianism that I and thousands others have experienced. However, I must point out that you describe exactly the way ubf looked when I first joined. Like a frog in a pan of water that won’t jump out when the heat is increased 1 degree at a time, I didn’t react in a healthy way when I saw many kinds of abuse.

I lived in common life too. It was great. I was so excited to be a missionary too, until I realized ubf is a Korean organization intent on sending Korean missionaries.

Of course there was no mention of marriage. I asked the same thing– is it arranged? They said no not really. The ubf people don’t want you to jump ship, so they won’t reveal the 12 point heritage all at once. They want to be “not so pushy” at first and are very sneaky about entraping your life.

Do you have a personal shepherd? If so, that shepherd has big plans for you. He/she will be your weekly morality supervisor for the rest of your life. And he/she will eventually approve/disapprove your major life decisions.

Just be careful and keep your eyes open and by all means ask for the “50th ubf Anniversary” blue book. Read it and see what you think. Study the 12 point ubf heritage system and see if you can find any contradictions. Look for confucian teachings that are often presented as the Christian gospel.

And finally, are you sensing fear or love? Be ready to jump ship when the fear sets in. That usually takes about 7 years of ubf training– then things suddenly become clear.

What I have since realized is that UBF persuaded me to break one of the ten commandments by dishonouring my parents. This commandment to honour parents does not apply only when your parents are believers or in UBF, but universally. To persuade or even insinuate that it is God’s will to marginalize parents is a lie straight from hell, from the enemy whose aim is to kill and destroy. My marriage got started on the totally wrong foot. It was started on expediency, fearing man not God, and disobedience to the basic commandments of Scripture while feigning obedience to the so-called “great world mission command.” This did not honour God. It did not place my family in a place of blessing, but in a place of wounding. By God’s grace, we were able to find forgiveness, but it has irreparably affected my relationship with my parents. Wounding people and alienating family for the sake of UBF mission is not honouring to God. And don’t let anyone convince you to “hate your family for Jesus’ namesake” from the gospels. That’s a classic example of straining at a gnat while swallowing a camel.

There’s much that could be said. I wish people had gotten my attention when I was in your shoes, but God didn’t intervene in my case until later. God be with your decisions. Fear God, not man. And don’t worry too much about pleasing God, just focus on loving Jesus and obeying His word simply.

I’m now 44, which means my entire adult formative years were in steeped in ubf ideology. I spent my entire youth defending the ubf heritage and trying to make it work. I ended up a hollow shell of a man, a man who doesn’t know how to be a husband or a father. I spend so much time in bible study at ubf that I neglected time I needed to spend with my wife and children. A friend of mine spent 29 years in ubf, and he ended up literally standing in the Ohio river as a homeless man. ubf shepherds turn their back on you the moment you question their heritage (i.e. “one-to-one”, “daily bread”, etc. etc.)

So I guess what I’m saying is not whether to stay or to leave, but to make your own decision and don’t end up like me and my friends.

Do you know about the 4 reform movements in ubf? In 1976 Korean shepherds saw the same problems I saw. Then in 1989, 2000 and 2011, a mass number of leaders have left ubf, mostly in protest and mostly because we realized the danger of ubf teachings, especially toward family. These problems are dismissed by ubf leaders as just Korean cultural problems. But these movements were mostly led by Koreans, so that clearly cannot be true. ubf leaders try to hide these 4 movements, calling us “rebels” or “bitter and wounded” or worse, I’ve been called “spiritually dead and an evil spirit attacking ubf”. In reality, I’m just sharing my story of what ubf taught me and the poor decisions I made over the years.

I see something else I feel compelled to point out about your words here. I notice how you put good in quotes, and I sense something ubf taught me. ubf shepherds taught me to despise what is good. If something was “good” then I was taught that it can’t be from God, and if it was something “good” from God, then I must sacrifice it. This is the heart of ubf teaching that distorts the gospel of Jesus. Yes the gospel of Jesus and His work on the cross is our salvation. But we are not called to despise what is good. As Catholics, I think your parents understand this, just as mine did. If you want a bible verse about this, check out Romans 12:9 (whole chapter). ubf taught me only the first couple verses of Romans 12, about sacrifice. But if you keep reading, you see this: “Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” A common phrase among those who leave ubf is this: “call a spade a spade”. We are searching for reality, and I am SO thankful my parents were still there for me, with all their goodness and faith (yes Catholics do love the same Lord!) after 20+ years!

Oh and one more thing: please be aware that your ubf shepherd probably already knows you are talking to me, and maybe read this. There are some in ubf who wish to shut down my blogs. So they will probably not be happy about our conversations. I’m not sure what to tell you, but just be aware of it.

Grace and peace my friend.

However, you’re definitely right in the wedge UBF has placed between my family and I. I’m beginning to see how my gratitude to UBF and my personal shepherd for being God’s agent in calling me out of that darkness and into His wonderful light has misled me to view my obedience to God through the same lens as my obedience to UBF. Also now that I think about it I realize UBF’s overemphasis on Genesis 12:2-3, in that to be a blessing you got to leave your family behind. I believed that although nothing can separate me from the love of God if I choose my family over UBF, I would not be able to be as great a blessing. In fact I was led to believe that Genesis 12:2-3 is the true meaning of Matthew 6:33. “Seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness by leaving your family and He will then take care of and bless them.”

Thank you so much for helping me to see clearly what I was getting myself into! No I have not discussed being a missionary with any Christian pastors outside UBF, but I definitely agree I should look into other missionary opportunities from Christian churches or organizations as the Lord may very well have laid on me the heart for being a missionary in foreign nations.

The ISBC is a big production, and you’ll be most “fired up” during this time. Your personal shepherd also knows that the longer you wait to decide after the ISBC, the less chance of being loyal to ubf there is. So if you escape making a decision during the ISBC, expect some pressure immediately following.

Also, is this really a decision? I would test your personal shepherd. Tell him “no” right now. Could you do that? Tell him I want to wait and pray about it more. Would your personal shepherd accept that? Usually a “decision of faith” in ubf is a “glory story” that isn’t really your own decision. The “decisions of faith” are just you accepting the ubf identity to be a shepherd and missionary. Normally, ubf shepherds don’t accept any other calling as being valid. So your shepherd will say “You are free to make your own decision”. But he is really saying “You are free to do what I tell you. You are free to be loyal to ubf.”

Here is some food for thought…

Have you discussed being a missionary with any Chrsitian pastors outside of ubf? I strongly suggest doing so.

Do you see the wedge your ubf shepherd has planted between you and your own parents? Your parents love you. Your family loves you. Please consider what they have to say. What does it matter if your parents don’t pass your litmus test of “being saved” or “knowing the lord”? If that is indeed true, wouldn’t they need your love more than anyone else?

I was already a Christian when I joined ubf, but my personal shepherds convinced me that I was not a Christian. They convinced me of the lie that all my life before ubf was bad and all my life now was good, and that if I ever left I would face terrible consequences. Well I’ve left and I’m doing very well! I resigned as a director in protest in 2011.

Maybe you could read and participate in our blog ubfriends.org? Have you seen this? The website is a joint effort between senior ubf leaders and long-time ex-members (including myself). The blog is not officially endorsed by ubf. (Isn’t that telling?)

We are attempting to have dialogue about many, many topics that ubf has kept hidden for 50 years. We are providing a place for ex-members to recover and process our time in ubf.

When I shared my 24 year story with 4 Christian, non-ubf pastors, they all asked one question: Were you in a cult? As much as I loved ubf, as much as I thought they were my friends and as much as I hated to admit it, the answer to that question is “yes”.

The first 5 to 7 years in ubf are wonderful. But then the training and life challenges set in, such as accepting arranged marriage.

I actually do have some advice if you want to stay in ubf and survive:

1. Don’t ever, ever question the motives or actions of your ubf shepherd. Never show any signs of disloyalty. Especially, never ask “What is dead-dog training?”

2. Accept the first woman presented to you during “marriage by faith”. If you don’t, you’ll be in for a world of training (especially if you end up outside of America, at least we have laws here). You only get one shot at arranged marriage, except in extremely rare cases.

3. Decide if you will be willing to give up your furture children and your wife for the sake of mission. Whenever you marry across countries, ubf will keep you apart for at least 1 year so you won’t become “family centered”.

4. Decide whether you accept your ubf shepherd for life, because that is his attitude. He is your spiritaul advisor forever now.

Another problem of UBF is that even though they became somewhat softer after the authoritarian and abusive leader/founder figure died, they never have publicly and openly admitted, apologized or repented for all of the misconduct and abuse of the past (different from the ICOC). I see a stubborn inablity to repent and admit mistakes which in my opinion makes the top leaders look more like Confucianists than Christians. Image and numbers is everything that counts for them, and they think they are not accountable to anybody, neither Christians from outside UBF nor long-time members from inside who start asking critical questions. I’m lucky that I was able to leave after 10 years and I recommend everybody not to get involved with UBF until they have issued a clear statement of repentance for all that happened in the past. They have many hidden teachings and practices like “marriage by faith” that are only revealed to you slowly over time, in lock-step with your indoctrination process.

I’m glad to hear from you. In general, I don’t give advice on these kinds of things, and I don’t pretend to know what God’s will is for you in this particular matter, except to insist that you make up your own mind, paying attention to your own conscience, and consider your own future.

I do know the director you speak of somewhat. And I spent 24 years in ubf, becoming a director myself.

In regard to being a short-term missionary, I also did that when I was a single college student in 1992. I went to Russia for 3 months. Upon coming back, I was convinced being a missionary to Russia was my calling. But ubf people told me that wouldn’t be possible and it never became a reality.

If you want to talk further please ask any questions here or use my contact form to contact me privately.

I spent 4 months with Jakarta UBF as a short-term missionary and was so convinced upon leaving that it is God’s calling for me to return as a full-time missionary that I purchased a plane ticket to return within 3 months. However I began having doubts of this calling, in particular from the influence of my family who aren’t saved (yet). So I agreed with the Philadelphia UBF director, Dr. Moses Noh, that I would postpone it until at least after the summer international conference, which is this coming weekend. Over the past week the Lord removed those doubts from me until I came across this website, so now I don’t know what to think.

http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/07/27/ubf-doctrine-ideological-slogans/

My parents were in exactly the same position as your parishioner’s mother several years ago. They tried to encourage me to listen to a pastor and counseled me to leave. My UBF mentor said that they were being used to distract me from my real spiritual calling in UBF, and I must obey Jesus’ command to deny myself and hate my mother/father/sister/etc from the gospels. I was discouraged from visiting family for more than very brief visits.

UBF is not all bad; there are many wonderful blessings that God gave me through UBF. When I was thirsty in my soul, they gave me a fresh drink of water. But then they proceeded to drown me in the works-righteousness, legalism, authority, and control.

Yes I can shed a lot more light on the situation. The mother is concerned but as you say she “couldn’t express exactly why”. I stayed 24 years in ubf and became one of its leaders. I also had concerns, but I could not articulate why, so I just dismissed them.

After leaving in protest in 2011, I am now processing ubf ideology and the ubf heritage to understand why I had those concerns, and why I stayed so long. I have so far discovered that there is a lot of Korean Confucianism in the mentoring of ubf people. Often their advise is based on Confucian concepts (loyalty, social peace, obedience, etc) and not on the Christian gospel (grace, justice, freedom, etc). Also I found that ubf actively practices the Shepherding Movement ideals. This was a failed movement in the 1970’s. I have more info if you want on that.

In regard to the specific advice you mention, I’ve heard that same story a thousand times the past 24 years. ubf mentoring has some fundamental rules for the “sheep” (new bible students).

Rule #1 is that the mentoring is permanent. Your friend will not be able to leave the mentoring any time soon. And she will be convinced that she doesn’t want to leave. It will look like her own decision but really it is the shepherd’s decision for her (sort of like leaving someone with only one choice). ubf mentors expect lifelong commitment that begins like a frog boiling in water but the temperature is turned up only 1 degree at a time.

Rule #2 is that the mentoring is opposite of the sheep’s desire. It is predictable that your friend would be advised not to take the scholarship because most people would want the scholarship. And it is doubly “bad” in ubf eyes if the scholarship would take your friend to another city or away from that ubf chapter. And I notice it is a Christian college. ubf mentors (shepherds) normally think they are better than all Christian colleges even though they have no formal training. They don’t’ want sheep (who they think they own) to be exposed to Christian schools or Christian doctrine.

Rule #3 is that you must sacrifice, always. Taking a scholarship may be seen as an easy way out in ubf. But the decision itself is not so important, ubf wants a “glory story”. They want to hear how your friend turned down a scholarship to sacrifice it on the altar like Isaac (they live in the old testament often) and how she made a “decision of faith” to study in ubf (God’s best ways).

I have much more to say. I would be glad to talk or meet in person. Here is another blog me and some friends started that sheds more light on ubf practices and beliefs: ubfriends.org

Thank you,
EMC

Do you realize what your comments above reveal? Even after one year at ubf and even after what you describe as a good experience, you are already displaying the cult mindset.

The cultic mindset rejects critical thinking and never asks questions when encountering new situations. So while it was good of you to ask your bible teacher those questions, your mindset is being trained to do what ubf does best: dictate your viewpoint and command others to do something.

I would plead with you to keep asking critical questions, as you did when you began bible study. That is why I didn’t respond to your comments above: you are dictating and commanding me instead of getting to know me or even making an attempt to understand me.

Right now you are polite and still show signs of independent thought processing. But already I can identify signs that this is being eroded. Much of your advice is good, but are you aware that there are hundreds, actually thousands of former members of your organization out there who are hurting with a whole range of psychological problems? Have you tried to understand them?

Grace and peace.

I find this article very, very, interesting. I have been actively part of UBF for about a year now, and now as I am ready to graduate college, I am considering leaving and being a member at my Missouri Synod Lutheran Church. For anyone who hasn’t known the lutheran church, it is very conservative, so actually when I went to UBF, I was relieved by seeing so many people who looked free from guilt.

When I first thought about leaving, I was super afraid because I had read all these articles about how manipulative ubf is. I was afraid to be bullied or whatever; however, once I told everybody-even the leaders they said quite the opposite of what I was thinking: “Well, of course I would want you to stay part of this church, because I’ll miss you so much. However, if you feel that’s best for you, go for it! Just rely on God for guidance.”

I have recognized some of the other thinks you guys talk about, the desire to tell you who they think you should marry, or apparent required attendance. So, me being me, lol I naturally brought it up to my bible study teacher, I simply said, “look, I feel a little to overwhelmed, like I have standards I have to maintain for you. And honestly, I’m not interested in pleasing you, not if it’s going to make me feel poorly about myself in the face of God.” After I shared my concerns with her, it was fine, she explained that she was sorry, that that wasn’t her intention.

So, I’m not hear to disqualify any of your feelings, I realize that many probably feel hurt or afraid. But I have to say, so many of our feelings of fear and hurt come from a lack of communication. UBF leaders are just as much of sinners as anybody else. I have never heard anyone say they are more righteous then anyone else, but rather that is sometimes the impression we get when anyone stands up in front of us and tries to teach us the Bible. The first day I had Bible study, I said to my Bible teacher: “How do I know to trust what you are saying to me, that you aren’t trying to manipulate me with Bible passages?” She replied: “Don’t trust me, trust the Bible. Whatever I say, go back to the Bible, if anything goes against scripture, please tell me, I’m still learning too.”

Bottom line, it’s good to be cautious whenever someone is trying to teach the word of God. We should not just openly and naively listen without going back to God’s word. I don’t disclaim that UBF can be authoritative. However, if you feel this to be the case, I think it’s important to go to the people who have done this to you, and explain the problem to them. People are human, and we all make mistakes, and hurt one another. The only way to work through these things is through communication. If after communication you still feel like you haven’t been heard, find a witness to go to that person and talk to them, if they still don’t listen, then leave that friendship. This is the model Paul established in Romans and I think it fits for this situation. I know it certainly has for me.

As of right now, I still do Bible study and attend church at UBF. However, I made it clear to my Bible Teacher that I might or might not be leaving. I do not want to leave because of any resentment or anger towards anyone, just because I feel like I should give back to the lutheran church and school I went to as a kid. As of now, I’m just praying for God’s discernment, and so is my Bible teacher. She says that she is a bit biased, because she doesn’t want me to leave, but she also prays with me for GOD’S WILL TO BE DONE not her own.

Anyway, I hope this might be interesting information for everyone!

@Joshua: Yes, I have come to the conclusion that the ubf worldview is just as you say “a fantasy world”. It can only exist as long as there are people to enable it and support it. I had to ask myself, Is the kingdom of God so frail that it needs me to enable it? Certainly not! Thus I realized that KOPHN is a wishdream or what some call a “shadow mission”, not the real mission Jesus gave His followers.

I challenge all readers to give a deep, thoughtful, and prayerful examination of your faith and practice in light of these questions.

Unfortunately what we’ve gotten so far is this:

“Today, we recognize this policy of life-long shepherding, lording-over authority, and control is God’s best way of making disciples, has caused great blessing around the world, and is the sole purpose of our ministry. The leadership of UBF absolutely commits ourselves to this task all the more for the next 50 years and asks the patient understanding of the wounded people all over the world for our attempts to bless them so profoundly.”

“Today, we recognize this policy of life-long shepherding, lording-over authority, and control is wrong, has caused great harm, and has no place in our ministry. The leadership of UBF sincerely apologizes and asks the forgiveness of the wounded people all over the world for failing them so profoundly.”

This quote says a lot: “Today, we recognize this policy of assimilation was wrong, has caused great harm, and has no place in our country. The Government of Canada sincerely apologizes and asks the forgiveness of the Aboriginal peoples of this country for failing them so profoundly.”

What makes me encouraged by this is that the apology is combined with a renouncement. Not only are they saying “We are sorry” they are saying “We are wrong” and “We won’t tolerate such harmful behavior”.

This sends a clear message to the hardliners who perpetrated the assimilation and also sends a message of opening the door to reconciliation of those who were harmed. Excellent.

There’s an interesting thing happening in Canada over the past few years called the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (http://www.trc.ca/websites/trcinstitution/index.php?p=3). It is investigating the abuses that were perpetrated by the Canadian government in generations past by forcing aboriginal children into residential schools. It is investigating it thoroughly and preparing detailed public reports in order to educate the public and bring reconciliation and healing to generations of abused first nations people. The government of Canada made a public apology and it was read by the Prime Minister of Canada in Parliament (http://www.pm.gc.ca/eng/media.asp?id=2146).

UBF should learn from this.

http://www.spiritual-research-network.com/abusequestionnaire.html

Our Fellowship (2013)

If my memory serves me, the article above from 1990 is the clipping that was mailed to me from a family member. I remember some phrases were highlighted with yellow highlighter. Now, no one can take it away from me :)

“I FEEL THE SAME BUT PRAY TO BE FREE”.

I too will pray that you may be free. Bondage is the key problem of ubf, whose shepherds slowly bind up your life one decision at a time.

Jesus’ mission statement speaks about freedom, not bondage:

” 18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” 20 Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, 21 and he began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

Luke 4:18-21

But the warning in verse 10 is not ok to the ubf mind: “If we claim we have not sinned…” ubf does claim they have not sinned because past abuses were just serving God by God’s anointed. So it is difficult to preach on this verse in a ubf setting.

I used to play this game, of course :) I would say “ubf is not without sin, all churches have problems.” At the same time I would also say “ubf has not sinned in the past, all victim stories have another side to the story”.

I didn’t realize the contradiction in those two lines of thought while I was praising God in ubf. The ubf mind is full of such contradictions but they can rarely see it. The further away from ubf I get, the more clearly I see these contradictions and false bible teaching.

Verse 10 was skipped and says: “If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.”

Ironically, a ubf director/member fears that if they admit they have sinned, they will dishonor God and bible study will have no place in their lives. But this is opposite of the reality. Admitting they’ve sinned is exactly what they must do. And by doing so the bible would not become irrelevant, but more relevant to their lives.

But it would also mean letting go of their ubf worldview (KOPHN), so they are afraid of doing it. I’ve seen this many times before actually. Verses that would be most helpful are skipped because they would be most painful to preach on.

“While I agree that we should show respect for Regina’s family during this awful time of grief; I think we would do her and her family a great injustice to not speak of this tragedy again.

UBF is renowned for dismissing human suffering in every aspect. Regina’s death cannot be dismissed or ever forgotten.

I will never forget. I believe that every former UBF member should continue to speak out and expose every travisty that has continued to take place within UBF.

Certainly, other religious organizations have had their share of ministering to folks who suffer with mental illness. The big difference here (in this case) is that Regina was devoted to UBF. She gave away her youth and her life choices to serve the UBF mantra. What did UBF give to Regina? A big fat lie!!! The UBF leadership could not even share with their membership the true event of Regina’s passing. UBF pushed Regina to change her name, and struggle against her illness in silence.

This tragedy only spurs me on to continue to speak out against a represive, abusive cult. UBF youth claim that the “ministry” is changing for the better. Currently , I see NO glimmer of hope for UBF. The Chicago leadership cannot even tell the truth to their own membership about the passing of a precious, tender woman.

Sarah Barry and all of the current UBF shepherds who were responsible for directing the Thompson family, should be held directly accountable.

Perhaps, my words sound harsh here, but it is my opinion.”

“i am always guilt whaen i look back and think of the lies i ve told to fit into the system.”

Excessive guilt and telling lies to fit into a system are not signs of a Christian ministry. Those are red flag warnings that indicate the group is a cult.

For example, I hope you can see the contradictions you expressed here:

“they are excellent bible teachers with passion”

and

“missionaries want to run the natives lives and think that without obeying whatever they say you are doomed to hell and cant be blessed by God.”

Sure you were helped in some ways by ubf missionaries, as was I. But who can live with such a contradiction? Can a shepherd also be a dictator?

I have met several excellent bible teachers and Christian pastors. They make every effort to NOT run the lives of other people. Excellent bible teachers always encourage independent thought and personal exploration of your faith, never do excellent bible teachers demand such high obedience without your personal thoughts.

Torn, by Justin Lee

“Justin Lee came to understand that both Christians and gays shared the same cultural dynamic. They both saw the world in terms of “Gays vs. Christians.” He realized that, “You had to pick one or the other, and whichever one you didn’t pick had to be squelched or hidden or forgotten.”

How could this dilemma be resolved?

Going to the Bible didn’t help Lee. He looked at the evidence carefully (and some of his insights and questions are quite good), but ultimately he found the evidence inconclusive. “I realized that I could easily make a clear, compelling argument for either position,” he discovered. Torn again.

However, when Justin Lee stepped back from these specific verses and asked the question about what the Bible taught as a whole, in the light of Jesus, he came to a different conclusion. Further study led him to believe that the “law of love” (as in Romans 13:8-10) should guide us, and Lee saw that his church had gotten this issue wrong.”

(Source: the Internet Monk review of the book Torn)

Two other friends wanted to get married, but they screwed up royally by having a movie date. They had to leave UBF in order to get married because they were convinced they were supposed to be together. They are both still friends and still married to this day.

In fact, everything here is what I actually did. If I had not done such things, I would not have survived marriage by faith.