{"id":1565,"date":"2016-08-31T15:17:35","date_gmt":"2016-08-31T20:17:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ubfriends.net\/?p=1565"},"modified":"2016-09-22T08:28:44","modified_gmt":"2016-09-22T13:28:44","slug":"dissecting-marriage-by-faith","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/ubfriends.org\/ubfriends2015\/dissecting-marriage-by-faith\/","title":{"rendered":"Dissecting Marriage By Faith"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"m\"<\/a>One of the unique, extra-biblical (and, I would argue, unbiblical) practices of UBF is what they call “marriage by faith”. This statement supposedly means, “By faith, trust God to establish your marriage union.” What it actually means, however, is, “You don\u2019t get to choose your partner. Your chapter director will decide for you, and you have to blindly accept that this is God\u2019s will.” Often, people who hardly know each other or who have never met are partnered in this way. Ultimately, the goal of this arranged “marriage by faith” is not as much biblical marriage as a tool for solidifying the couples\u2019 commitment to UBF doctrine.<\/div>\n

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Below, I have transcribed and commented on a typical statement of commitment that would be printed on brochures and read publicly at a UBF marriage ceremony. As you will see, it is illustrative of the many aspects of UBF doctrine and theology that stray from healthy, orthodox Christianity. The complete transcription can be read here: \u00a0http:\/\/imgur.com\/a\/UBLcT<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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We thank God for his abundant grace in saving us from our old lives.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
When reading the UBF statement of commitment<\/a>, note the phrase “from our old lives”. In genuine Christian doctrine, God by His love and grace saves sinners from sin through the atoning work of Jesus Christ. No strings attached. In UBF doctrine, people are not saved from sin into relationship with God, but from the “old life” into the UBF life. This statement assumes that salvation does not mean the finished work of Christ as much as the ability to be in UBF. It is by God\u2019s grace that we now have been able to start again. The implication by UBF however is that we have\u00a0to start again as new creations in Christ, not with a focus on Jesus, but start again by wiping out everything from the “old life” including old hobbies, jobs, pursuits, family and friends, and focusing solely on the UBF life. (A UBFer would argue that to be a new creation in Christ is to be in UBF).<\/div>\n
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Because of his great mercy, he gave us new life where we can now serve him and worship him.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
The phrase “he gave us new life” does not mean that God sealed believers with the promised Holy Spirit, regenerating them into communion with the God. “New life” actually means “a new life”, namely, “starting over” in UBF. We are eternally grateful for the great vision and mission he has given us. UBF loves to boast about being “mission-centered”. Everything about its doctrine\u2014salvation, grace, atonement\u2014must be connected to the UBF mission of one-to-one campus recruitment. In UBF, the goal is not the simplicity of contentment in Christ, but on fulfilling a glorious mission. To preach Jesus in UBF is to preach mission. Now, there is nothing wrong with having a passion for evangelism, but UBF makes recruitment the goal of Christian life rather than one of the results of Christian transformation.<\/div>\n
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The goal for the Christian should be Jesus, not mission, and the Christian does not and cannot reach Jesus via mission. Mission may come as a result of meeting Jesus. Moreover, if it is not already clear, UBF “mission” is not concerned about a person\u2019s salvation, but rather on whether or not they remain in UBF and practice its doctrines. UBF shepherds rarely pray for salvation, but frequently pray for their sheep to “accept God\u2019s calling” or “remain in the Promised Land (UBF)”.<\/div>\n
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Notice at this point that this supposed marriage commitment statement has focused exclusively on the importance of obeying UBFism. Remember that marriage in UBF is only an tool for keeping people submitted to the organization.<\/div>\n
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We are thankful for God\u2019s guidance in establishing our marriage to serve his greater purpose.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
This part of the statement reveals how UBF twists the biblical meaning of marriage. Nowhere is there a mention of marriage as a fundamental aspect of how humans bear the image of God (Genesis 1:27; Genesis 5:1-2; Matthew 19:4). Nowhere is there a mention of marriage as a joyful picture of Christ and the Church in harmony, joy and love (Ephesians 5:22-32). Nowhere is there a mention of marriage being primarily meant to bring comfort, joy and companionship (Genesis 2:18; Genesis 24:67; Proverbs 5:18; Song of Songs) and to provide a healthy environment for parents to focus on children (Malachi 2:13-15). Nowhere is there a mention of the importance of the partners\u2019 families\u2019 blessing (Genesis 24:51). This is because, in UBF, too much focus on enjoying marriage or raising children is seen as a sinful distraction from mission.<\/div>\n
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Members talk often in Friday meetings about how they spend too much time with their spouses or children, and how they need to repent. So, to support this flawed belief system, UBF ignores most of what the Bible says about the nature and purpose of marriage. Instead, UBF concocted the false idea the “marriage is all about mission” and carefully found ways to read it into the scriptures. Passages like Genesis 24 are twisted to support this false doctrine. The existence of this flawed way of viewing marriage has been one of the key ways that UBF manipulates people. The doctrine has enabled UBF leaders to marry young people to partners they barely know (which has resulted in depression and catastrophic relationship failures) without the blessing of the partners\u2019 families (leading to increased tension and resentment), all of which further causes the victims to be unhealthily dependent on UBF. It has enabled UBF leaders to force couples to divorce unbiblically and even to force some women to have abortions.<\/div>\n
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As we embrace this new gift of marriage that God has given us, we hope to grow all the more in his grace and in the reflection of his image.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Honestly, this is the only barely acceptable sentence in this document. Marriage is a gift from God and it is a way for the couple to nurture one another lovingly in their relationship with God. If only “the reflection of his image” didn\u2019t refer specifically to obeying UBF absolutely. We know that through building our marriage on the sure foundation of God\u2019s will and vision for us that an abundantly fruitful and joyous life will follow. Building on the “sure foundation of God\u2019s will and vision”? That is NOT a sure foundation. The only sure foundation is Jesus Christ himself: his life, his death, his atonement, and his resurrection. Building on UBF\u2019s faulty idea of “God\u2019s will and vision” means building on a foundation of personal effort. It means that the foundation is whether or not you can teach enough Bible studies or attend enough meetings or obey enough directions and, when you ultimately fail, your foundation disappears entirely and everything comes crashing down.<\/div>\n
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To build on Jesus is to build on stone: trusting in the sureness of His righteousness rather than the fleeting reliability of your own works. As if “God\u2019s will and vision” is even “sure” in the first place; UBFers take it on faith that everything their shepherds tell them is “God\u2019s will” without checking it against the truth of scripture, after all.<\/div>\n
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Our prayer and hope is that through our marriage we may become a source of blessing to many as we serve his mission wholeheartedly.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
And I sincerely hope that\u2014by God\u2019s mercy\u2014this may come true, though I know that, because of UBF\u2019s incipient flaws, the opposite may actually be the case. “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love.” \u2013 John 15:9 The statement ends with this verse of scripture. Curiously, this verse probably doesn\u2019t refer to the husband and the wife loving one another. In UBF, “remain in my love” means “remain in the ministry”. If you leave UBF, you can\u2019t remain in Jesus\u2019 love because UBF (somehow) IS Jesus\u2019 love. Once again, the truth of the scripture is missed.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Do you have any musings about the purpose and the beauty of marriage? How else is it possible that we may miss the true importance of this age-old institution?<\/em><\/div>\n

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One of the unique, extra-biblical (and, I would argue, unbiblical) practices of UBF is what they call “marriage by faith”. This statement supposedly means, “By faith, trust God to establish your marriage union.” What it actually means, however, is, “You don\u2019t get to choose your partner. Your chapter director will decide for you, and you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[127,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1565","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage","category-reform"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ubfriends.org\/ubfriends2015\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1565"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ubfriends.org\/ubfriends2015\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ubfriends.org\/ubfriends2015\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ubfriends.org\/ubfriends2015\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ubfriends.org\/ubfriends2015\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1565"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/ubfriends.org\/ubfriends2015\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1565\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ubfriends.org\/ubfriends2015\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1565"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ubfriends.org\/ubfriends2015\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1565"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ubfriends.org\/ubfriends2015\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1565"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}