“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (Jn 13:34-35)

From God’s prespective, that line must be crystal clear. The Holy Spirit searches the heart and knows our innermost thoughts and motives. He knows exactly why we do what we do. God could glance at the offerings of Cain and Abel and instantly know that one was acceptable as true worship, whereas the other was corrupt and self-serving.

But from our perspective, that line can be very blurry. We are full of self-deception and we love to mischaracterize our actions. Am I worshiping mission or simply being faithful? In order to answer that question, I have to know myself better. I have to become aware of and honest about what I am thinking and feeling.

Some might say that we are so totally depraved that we will never understand ourselves. They say that, because we can never trust ourselves, we should just stop worrying about our motives and just focus on doing what is right. I have a great deal of sympathy for that point of view. In fact, this was essentially my life’s motto: “Just do it!” In the short run, that seemed to work for me. But over the long run, it kept me from growing in my relationship with God to the point where I could no longer worship him and interact with him as a person. When Jesus popped the question, “Do you truly love ME?” the only honest answer I could give was, “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t, but please don’t look at my heart, just look at my outward appearance and actions.”

It seems to me that if we truly believe the gospel — that we have died and risen with Christ and are truly indwelt by the Holy Spirit — then sooner or later we have to stop living by outward appearances and start to understand what is going on inside of us. To start discerning which of our thoughts, motives and actions are truly from the Spirit of God and which are from the sinful nature. Then that fine line will no longer be so fine.

To give a stab at your very important question, I’d say that there is an extremely FINE LINE between idolizing mission and being faithful to Jesus. When we idolize mission, we bring attention to ourselves, our ministry, our fellowship, our chapter, our church, our leader, our disciples, our growth in numbers, our wonderful preaching and teaching, etc. But if one is faithful to Christ, as Adonirum Judson was, there is no hint whatsoever, that there is anything for him in it except to please God.

“I have now to ask, whether you can consent to part with your daughter early next spring, to see her no more in this world; whether you can consent to her departure, and her subjection to the hardships and sufferings of missionary life; whether you can consent to her exposure to the dangers of the ocean, to the fatal influence of the southern climate of India; to every kind of want and distress; to degradation, insult, persecution, and perhaps a violent death. Can you consent to all this, for the sake of him who left is heavenly home, and died for her and for you; for the sake of perishing, immortal souls; for the sake of Zion, and the glory of God? Can you consent to all this, in hope of soon meeting your daughter in the world of glory, with the crown of righteous, brightened with the acclamations of praise which shall redound to her Savior from heathens saved, through her means, from eternal woe and despair?”

Idolizing mission? Or simply being faithful? When is idolizing mission an excuse to avoid being faithful? When is trying to be faithful an excuse to idolize mission?

David, thanks you very much for your comment. I really appreciate your active involvement and your thoughtful comments. i totally agree with you. The point i wanted to make in my article is how easily one can slip into the sin of making mission an ultimate thing. At least in my life it has always been like this.
Carl R. Trueman recently wrote in a very nice article: “What is clear, however, is that one who seeks church office (mission) for personal advancement and gain is the very person who should never be allowed within a million miles of a pulpit or a session, for in trying to bring glory to himself he brings nothing but public disgrace upon the church and the name of Him who purchased her with His blood.” In my opinion, this is a very important point that hasn’t been appreciated the way it should in our ministries. What do you think?

Ben, the influence of Tim Keller is undeniable. =) Tim Keller rocks! I have to admit that until a few years ago i thought that i know everything about God’s grace (having studied Romans several times, Galatians, 1. Corinthians, etc.). Of course i wouldn’t ever say that in public and ‘humbly’ say: “God’s grace is so vast that i can study it all my life without doing justice to it”. But inwardly i thought that i understood God’s grace very well. It was Pastor Tim Keller who showed me that i know close to nothing about God’s grace. His book “Reason for God” and his sermons turned me into a great fan of him.

Your description of our idolotry of mission is spot on. Because of our devotion to mission (seemingly more than to Jesus), we don’t know how to truly love those who leave the ministry, or those who don’t live up to our expectations. Because we, who are so devoted to mission, are hurt, we start a hurtful rumor gossip mill (that sometimes spreads even to various continents) of own dear coworkers being “difficult” or bad, because of our own shallow evaluation or perception of them. When someone leaves ubf, they can’t possibly be still seeking God, because they “ran away.”

In Counterfeit Gods, Keller’s chapter on hidden idols based on the story of Jonah is worth the price of the book. I think that our predominant ubf idols are obviously not “younger brother sins” of money, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. But our idols are mainly “older brother sins,” or Jonah’s hidden idols of religious superiority, cultural superiority, moral superiority, racial superiority, patrioticism, spiritual superiority, etc, don’t you think?

“I seek significance. I want to live a life that truly makes a difference. I want to have purpose. I want to have a sense of security and safety. I want to be affirmed, valued and cherished. I long for the one relationship that will satisfy the hungers of my heart and the thirsts of my soul.” This is what most people crave. We all have some kind of craving for meaning, to have purpose, to know more and live a good/decent life. While I was in Korea I would constantly hear that Jesus would fulfill everyone’s cravings and fix people’s broken lives. Yet the distinction between Jesus and the misson was blurry.
You mentioned that you found your worth in being successful in this mission of having Bible students and so on. This is why people find worth in their success as CEOs, artists, being famous etc. We, in the church, may find our worth in mission.
If we fail to meet the church’s expectations we feel a sense of loss. This leads us to believe that we’re useless, worthless and failures. We become tired. Why? Because we haven’t been successful in our mission. We completely forget to find our value and worth in God himself, but attempt to find it in God’s mission and blessings.

I really like your conclusion. I’ve learned that Jesus wants my heart more than anything. I’ve learned to find my value and worth in Jesus and not in this world. It’s given me peace and freedom.