Yoke. That is a word that helped spark a revolutionary transformation and Spirit-indwelling in hereticman. Someone (probably Piper or Keller) mentioned that Jesus’ yoke is grace: it is easy and light because God carried the burden. Our role as Christ-follower is not to re-carry the burden of the cross, but to be ambassadors of Christ demonstrating love, unity and living hope to humanity as citizens in God’s kingdom.

Participating in the suffering of Christ then, has amazing meaning. But it does not mean we go around carrying buckets of guilt, sad faces and fearful trepidation.

I used to be SO fearful of every little decision. Now I am so overjoyed to endure some mild suffering these past two years. Passages like 1 Peter 4:13 make so much more sense now.

UBF’s inclination toward work/performance/behavior righteousness has blurred/obscured the gospel. It produces an undertow of legalism, guilt, formalism, traditionalism, and older brother self-rigteousness that do reveal the beauty and majesty of Christ to out-siders. It also makes insiders tired and burdened to carry a heavy yoke that Jesus already carried to Golgotha.

Plus, added bonus, there is no human director messing up my plans and heaping layers of guilt on me. I have no problem making money, because a business without money is like a church without the gospel. Money does not control me; I control money.

I don’t think it is wise to draw too many conclusions… but I will anyway…

While in ubf I was so over-concerned with my performance that I paralyzed myself. I was only able to write 2 pages of bible reflection each week, talk to 1 person about the gospel and rarely discussed anything of significance with my wife, and all this was done with a mostly begrudging, han-like desperation and fear of messing up.

After leaving ubf, I now write about 10 pages of reflection each week, talk to dozens of people each week and spend hours talking with my wife each week.

The bottom line is: good or bad performance isn’t the gospel.

PTL that your business grew by 400%. I am truly happy and excited to hear this! If you are here in Chicago, I would pat you on the back so hard, and give you a big proud hug!

One key point made here is this:

“It is because of our performance mentality that is all too common. We feel good or bad depending on whether we do spiritual things or give in to sin. But Paul says that our state of “no condemnation” is not based on or dependent on our performance, but on being “in Christ.”

We can see this gospel of performance in a recent ubf report, filled with performance-based struggles:

“Despite the recession, God allowed my business to grow by 30%. God sent Dr. John Jun with CME (Continuing Missionary Education) and gave me vision and faith for my business.”

Well guess what, my business grew by 400% last year. And without even a single prayer or CME session, and while I was an ex-ubf member.

The fact is we succeed and fail in this world according to a number of factors, not according to how obedient we are to ubf mission.

Well all that said, I often find myself exhausted with performance based faith. However, I found myself transformed ever since I really accepted Mt 25:21 to heart (thanks Christy and Dr Ben) and found it defined my Christian life. I thank God that in Children’s ministry I can do many things that no one ever sees. It gives me a special delight to know that my Father is pleased and would have it no other way. My hope is to be a good servant, which means working for Him and his purpose. I’m not really sure if I could claim his pleasure just for making an empty confession, with no supporting evidence. Though I do find myself sometimes intrigued by the story of Charles Wesley’s (second?) conversion upon witnessing the joy of the Moravians that he found so convicting and which ultimately transformed his faith to a true salvation, and wondering if there is a greater joy and salvation which I have yet to experience? 

I have to admit, I definitely feel  guilt over many of my past deeds. Though I believe Jesus has forgiven me for these sins, that doesnt change the fact that I am remorseful for having committed them against my God.  I guess some would say that I should replace those thoughts of guilt with gratitude for the great mercy of Christ. I do try this but I also don’t want to forget my past misgivings because I am still alive and I still have the capacity to sin. And I still have the capacity to remove myself from Christ if I choose to. God removes my sin but not my inclination to sin. So I secretly hold on to the guilt because it reminds me of the wrong path from which Christ saved me. When I am in heaven, I imagine I will look back at my past life and sigh. But a second later look at the glorious life that Christ has earned for me and never look back again. 

I too had to go to traffic court once. It did also remind me of standing before God’s judgment seat. I also pleaded guilty because I was guilty. I saw one man become angry at the judge and flipped him off as he left the courtroom. The judge called him back in and gave him 30 more days in jail.

Sorry for digressing… you asked: “Do you feel good or guilty based on your performance in keeping the law? Or do you live a life of “no condemnation in Christ” whereby you love and delight to keep the law of God?”

I’m starting to not like these “either/or” type questions… but I can see your point, and it is valid: am I living as if Romans 8:1,2 are true? 

Romans 8:1-2  “1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,  2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”

This verse never really inspired me, so no, I have not lived as if there really is no condemnation. I meekly tried to uphold this and muster as much joy as I could under the heavy yoke of my performance-based theology (I didn’t call it theology, but that is indeed what it was.).  

Romans 8 was also always a “heavy” passage for me. I didn’t understand it. I was glad that we didn’t study it much. But now that I read Romans again (in preparation for my new blogging project), the pages literally burst off my computer screen with joy!  I am simply astounded by how much Romans speaks of grace. I used to think it was a book about the law.