I encourage those who are reading this and struggle with porn to install an internet filter on your computer. k9 web protection is an amazing free program. It blocks most websites that might even potentially lead to sin. What I did was this, I first began by blocking all of the websites that I knew have certain advertisements that lead down the wrong path. myspace, youtube are good examples of this. I then created a random adminestrative password that I could not possible recollect and sent this password to a close friend I trust for safe keeping. I then deleted the email I sent to the friend. 

This prevented me from unblocking certain sites. I also found it useful to spot the triggers of lust in my heart. Oddly enough, for me it was loneliness. I noticed that whenever I got lonely I would turn towards pornography. This realization really saddened me because God is always there waiting for me to speak with him and yet I turned to porn. So one thing I did was fill my free time. Not with busy work but with things I love to do like read a book, watch a movie. Just make sure you dont replace a previous bad habit like porn with a slothful one like checking your facebook every 5 minutes or playing the same videogames over and over again.  

And of course pray! Approach God in your vulnerability and ask him to take away this dirty inclination towards sin. Learn to value the chaste life and remember the joy that Christ promises. Joy has a strange magical way of combating lust. Just some thoughts which I hope can help anyone reading this. 

Wait a minute? What’s the connection between your patient who died, whom you thought was your fault and your encounter with porn? Just curious… I might have missed something. 

One of Ben’s points above is very true: when I am filled with the Spirit of Christ in me, my desires are purified and my mind doesn’t even “go there”. When I am filled with the joy of Christ, nothing compares to it!

When I tried to “be holy” in my prior legalistic life, my heart was always so heavy-laiden with lust struggles. My joy in the Lord was so limited that I didn’t even want to be at the center, and had to force myself to go most of the time. I pretended I had joy so that no one would know my inner heart condition (because I saw what happened to those who shared their feelings honestly).

I freely admin that most of my 16 years in UBF (before coming to Detroit), my mind thought about sex 95% of the time. I feel that my soul was cleansed here in Detroit, where I lost my “form of godliness” and starting really living and allowing Christ to live in me. That is one big reason I am so free now! I would say my percentage is down to less than 10%, a much more healthy level (..not sure what constitutes healthy though).

I could often barely write a weekly testimony due to such burdens. I was thankful however for the top-secret “holy club” that I was part of (well I’m not sure if our men’s accountability group still exists because only one of us is still in UBF).

But now my mind and heart are so much more free and clear when the Spirit is present. The peace and joy I know now are “exceeding” and “all-surpassing”! The form of godliness I had by writing testimonies, writing daily bread, and doing all the formalities in UBF just did not protect my heart from Satan’s flaming arrows. Only the mystery of Christianity can do that: Christ in you (Colossians 1:27; 2 Timothy 3:2-5).

I saw the same lack of restraint in leaders around me for many years. They had a form of godliness, but could not really restrain themselves (I don’t mean in regard to porn, but just in regard to shameful behavior). So they had to sweep a lot of misdeeds under the rug and hide behind many cover-ups for decades. So commenting here on any topic would probably be seen as dis-loyal and disobedient, especially about topics like “sexual sin”.