@Brian: “You explained my thoughts almost exactly.”

@Vitaly: “Dr.Ben’s testimony has something I also feel I did and lived while in UBF. And you express my thoughts actually and do it so well! … Btw I’d like to thank you. Thank you for your internet dialogue and for providing a way for UBF people to start listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit.” Thank God for Joe who paved the way for this to happen! I believe that it is surely, if not exactly, what we need in order to be truly incarnational and embracing of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

@Chris: “Vitaly, you’re asking legitimate questions. But I feel if Ben answers them, he may annoy both ex and current members and close the door for dialogue.” Thanks, Chris, for your empathy and for expressing how I oftentimes feel!

@Darren, (comment on my post on Freedom: http://www.ubfriends.org/2012/08/15/4991/#comment-4181): “There are few times I can say that I agree with everything that someone else says, but in this case, I agree with every point you have made. God’s grace really does liberate us in so many ways, both now and for eternity.”

I need to show these comments to my wife! Thanks, guys, for “making my day.” But please be free to also critique me, which I know I need!

And Chris, your point here is well-taken:

“I actually hope that nobody comes back to UBF until they officially have rehabilitated all those brave Christians in their own ranks who have been kicked out as ‘rebels’.”

I have at least three big barriers preventing me from returning anytime in my lifetime:

1) Nothing in Detroit: I wouldn’t have anything to go back to: There is nothing for me to go back to. What would I do, all by myself here in Detroit?

2) No friends: Suppose my family moved to some other city, then who is left among my friends there? A few people remain in Toledo UBF who are friends, but those friends essentially reject my other friends who left. And such a disruption to my family is not feasible and rather insane to do right now.

3) UBF activities: Suppose UBF people moved to Detroit (yea, right, Koreans move to a black city? not likely.) But suppose something like that happened. There still would be no reason for me to join them because I am publicly critical of nearly all UBF ideology. I question everything these days and only someone like Ben or Joe could even “handle me” :)

I suspect #3 will happen someday. UBF doesn’t like closing chapters, so they will send someone to “re-claim Detroit” due to my failure.

On top of all this, my publically stated terms would need to be met, which of course will be ignored.

I definitely will continue to visit Westloop Church, but my presence in UBF now would be far to disruptive and would likely cause more harm than good.

Another bad part of the Korean/Asian “shame-based” society is that you “lose face” if you as superior admit wrongs or point out wrongs of your superiors. This is incompatible with the gospel, too. And the reality is quite opposite as they believe. If any of the top leaders would start to publicly confess and apologize, they would gain respect and God would be happy, but currently God and people disprize them because they don’t.

We talked about this many times already. Korean culture is not bad per se, it surely has many good parts and aspects. But it should not override the core messages of the gospel, that we are all brothers, not parts of a hierarchy, and that our sin is forgiven when we repent, not when we cover it up. If people follow Confucianism *more* than the gospel, they should be considered as Confucianists, not Christians.

I also want to remind that those people who wrote a public letter to SL in 1976 were Koreans. The letter was written in a Korean style with honorifics etc. but they still pointed out what was wrong which was very un-confucianist. In my eyes, they were real Christians, not Confucianists.

I actually hope that nobody comes back to UBF until they officially have rehabilitated all those brave Christians in their own ranks who have been kicked out as “rebels”.

In 1998, I was similar to Brian who would unconditionally defend UBF in all ways possible. Even when my own son raised some issues and questions, I would defend UBF, and he would be quite upset with me for being unreasonable because of my seemingly blind allegiance and loyalty to virtually everything that UBF does.

My perhaps strong(est) defense in 1998 was that God has blessed UBF for decades by raising many native leaders through out the world, and that God would not bless UBF if we were not good, or sound. (Of course, today, many good leaders have left from many chapters, for what I feel are quite legitimate reasons.)

In 1998, I was also very critical of anyone who criticized UBF and/or “ran away.” I would regard them as “ungrateful, proud, worldly, compromising, bitter” and wanting to “abandon God’s mission.” Today, I see many of them as being spiritually abused and stunted by top down authoritarian leadership.

So, in 2012, quite interestingly, as many already know, I am in agreement with many of the objections that ex-UBFers have raised, both by missionaries who left UBF, as well as by natives of many nations. I have vocalized and expressed most of them in my articles and comments here over the last 2 years, as well as in person to those still in UBF who would listen.

Today, UBF’s greatest weakness as I see it is ongoing authoritarianism, which inevitably results in very poor interpersonal relationships, trust, friendships, and the severe hindering of initiative, which then stunts creativity and spiritual growth in juniors.

Next, some have been clinging on to our rigid, inflexible, tired and worn out methodologies and “recycled” messages for decades (in the name of tradition, faithfulness, loyalty and legacy) that basically “no longer work.” They are boring, predictable, oppressive, and uninspiring, none of which God ever is.

My hope is that we may learn to increasingly dialogue openly and honestly, and continually and humbly auto-correct by God’s grace and the help of the Holy Spirit, so that we can once again be like new wineskins, which I believe that UBF once was.

My secret hope is that some who have left may come back. (Of course, you don’t have to.) This time, things will surely be different. Most of the things that offended and wounded people in the past can and will be addressed, and change is happening, and will continue to happen. Things will be different. It will happen a lot better and “faster” the more people speak up boldly, humbly, openly, and without fear.

I think, at least in theory, more and more missionaries are acknowledging that autochthonous leaders must lead their own people. Sorry if some may initially be “like puppets.” But this change to local leadership would not have happened even just a few years ago.

Maybe I should not answer for them, but I think that it is very very hard for long standing UBF members/leaders to respond for many reasons. Probably, a few years ago, I would not respond because my reasons were “these people” (you guys) are just wasting their life and time “complaining” instead of doing the “real work of God” of “feeding sheep.” I may be wrong but this may be the predominant reason why UBF people/leaders would not or refuse to respond.

Likely, only a few long standing UBF members/leaders would even “waste their time” reading what is posted on UBFriends.

Also, especially for our UBF missionaries, if your primary language is not English, it may be a lot harder to respond in English. This is quite understandable.

Also, only a minority of UBF people have caught onto blogging as a very legitimate and spiritual means of Christian ministry, while many Christians through out the world regard blogging as very useful, even evangelical. So, it may be very very hard for them to respond when they have never needed to respond, or ever wanted to respond. So I understand if they do not, or rarely if ever respond, or never respond, because they may feel too uncomfortable, or because the subject matter is “too controversial” or “too difficult” for them to respond. Also, they “do not have time” to respond, and they do not regard responding as necessary or useful for “the work of God.”

But like you, I hope that more current UBF leaders would be bold enough to take a risk and respond. Hope is good, because we can always hope in God regardless of the reality, or the situation.

BTW, Vitaly, I love your questions and will respond in the coming days. I was in Malaysia for the last 2 weeks when I visited Malaysia UBF in Kuala Lumpur. Presently, I am in Singapore, and am on my way back to Philippines UBF in Manila, before I return to the U.S. in a few weeks.

We believe in Grace, but functionally we live by the Law (superficially) and impose it on others (legalistically) like Pharisees!

Though Ben-2012 does not remember exactly, Ben Toh-1998 (http://www.ubfriends.org/2012/08/05/a-real-testimony-by-ben-toh-1998/) likely wrote his testimony when he was crushed by his own weight of being unable to live up to his own legalistic yet shallow standards. Boy was Ben Toh-1998 messed up!! Maybe Ben-2012 still is…

Brian-2012 has learned to pay attention to phrases like this. Such statements (found in messages or in verbal communication) tells me that such a person doesn’t understand the grace of God correctly, and thus does not know what the gospel is. I am certain the grace of God covered Ben-1998, though, until he could understand :)

Grace is not something we live up to. Grace is grace, and reaches to us wherever we are in our journey of life. Like Ben-1998, Brian-1998 really wanted to “live up” to some noble ideal. But Brian-1998 also did not understand grace.

I am now convinced more than ever that when we do come to understand more of the magnificent grace of God, we go outside the camp to be with Jesus and the “outside” people.

This doesn’t mean we all have to agree on various, modern “hot topics”. But it does mean we have to stop trying to build a “nation” and focus on being a “priest”. Hebrews 13:13 says, if we really want to be a priest, we must go outside the gate and meet Jesus.