As your key sentiment is “thankfulness,” which I am, but perhaps mine is “freedom,” which is nothing but the grace of God. But I need to tone down on my “freedom to infuriate others!” Will/can this ever change? Lord, have mercy!
]]>My writing is not eloquent, nor well-organized. After 22 years of being associated with UBF, I have lots of stories–some good ones, but more that are not so good. But if I had to summarize how I feel right now, it would be thankful. I am thankful for all that God revealed to me in all those years of Bible study. Seeds of faith were planted deeply in me. God helped me to overcome deep rooted fatalism about myself. I am thankful for the amazing friends that God brought into my life through UBF~there are even a few that we still have close contact with–I call them forever friends.
Having said that, I am also very thankful that God took me away from UBF – so that I could learn about real freedom, true grace and God’s one-sided love–which I cannot earn. I am thankful that I could exit the UBF bubble, re-enter society and re-learn how to live as a child of God in a fallen world. In recent years, God has led us to a church where we can receive His Love, His Word, and His Grace. After so many years of “work” ~it has been amazingly challenging and refreshing to simply receive. Healing is happening daily. PTL!
We are definitely on a journey, learning and growing each day. Some days feel better than others. Some days, it seems like I am going backwards in my walk with God. But, everyday is a new one. I am so glad that UBFriends is a part of the healing going on in me and my family. Thank you Joe, Sharon, Dr. Ben, Brian, Chris and all for what you are doing!! I am hopeful for the dialog that will come for all who need healing! Blessings!!
]]>I do feel like I can express myself here, without anyone telling how I should be feeling.
]]>We sinners can forgive other sinners, including leaders, for sinning. But when you refuse to admit what is already plainly obvious to the world, that becomes “harder to endure,” especially if you want to claim your status and position as a permanent leader over others in UBF.
I wrote about how much controlling leaders suffer after their sheep, whom they truly sacrificed so much for, leave: http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/03/25/good-leaders-delegate-without-control/ But really, it is their own fault!!! I place the exodus of so many good Christians from UBF–both Korean and natives–squarely with those leaders who refuse to humbly acknowledge what is already so obvious and plainly stated on countless websites, email exchanges, and even face to face private meetings.
]]>It makes me so angry that these things happened and are still happening.
The episode talks about how the people in the camp had a “broken compass”. They did not know what is right and what is wrong and considered what happened there “normal”. I remember I read something similar in the book “the subtle power of spiritual abuse”. Though of course not comparable to the scale of evil in a prison camp, what happens in abusive environments is always similar. They subtly change your norm for what is right and acceptable behavior, very slowly, so that you don’t notice it until finally accept things are normal that actually are completely unacceptable for an ordinary person with some common sense.
]]>Can someone find a link to this ML-Jones account? Is this not reminiscent of how many in UBF feel after being liberated from the UBF system, that though has led many to Christ, yet also enslaves to a fatally flawed faulty system afterward?
Someone asked me how I felt after leaving Chicago UBF where I had been for 27 years (after starting West Loop in 2008). I said that I finally feel free, more alive than I had been for a long time, no longer feeling depressed, angry, oppressed and constricted, and I had never been happier; I truly feel like an eagle soaring in the sky (Isa 40:31). He was shocked at my passionate, spirited and spontaneous joyful answer with no hesitation. But I say this with no malice toward anyone, truly. How can I have malice toward anyone when I am finally flying and soaring again!
“My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed thee.”
]]>One person told me from Toledo when we met: “I don’t think you were angry or bitter.” I replied, “Yes I was. What more do I need to do to demonstrate to you that I am angry and bitter?” So I am SO glad to hear your honest thoughts and feelings. Mary and I have felt similar, as if years of emotion were bottled up and are now being expressed.
Yes indeed, the problems are multi-faceted. It’s just that my fingers get sore re-typing the same, comprehensive list of issues every single time :)
]]>.” And to the “natives” (are we living in a jungle??) I say: realize that a majority of Korean missionaries feel a similar pain deep down as you do. They just don’t now how to express it and may be unable to do so. Go ahead and push back. So what if they get angry? What can they really do to you? If they truly do have good intentions, they won’t do anything. Realize that you can push back and in some cases the Korean missionary’s spiritual life may depend on your pushing back.
You speak as if the only issue is the Korean missionaries. In Toledo we have a Korean couple that “gets it” more than some natives. I am sure you are aware of this, because you were here with us. So I am not comfortable when you speak as if its only the missionaries that are part of this system. Unfortunately many natives have lost their own identity to this system too.
“Realize that you can push back and in some cases the Korean missionary’s spiritual life may depend on your pushing back.”
In all honesty, I am getting tired of pushing back. I am tired of being the controversial one, the loud one, the negative one…
Im tired of being angry, sad and crying over all this stuff. In all honesty, I would love to hear one senior missionary tell their honest story about how they are feeling. How angry these blogs make them feel. How sad or deeply wounded they felt when people left. I guess I am looking for realness, truthfulness, honesty, not perfection, not resolve, or soldier like attitude just an open honesty of their day to day struggle.
Brian I will share the following because there is nothing I can say or you can say that will hurt our friendship. I think through all this we have become much better and honest friends.:)
Brian, I must confess when all the families from Toledo left and you started making all (what seemed to me )anti-ubf comments, I would rage with anger and hurt. I was the first to defend UBF. I was upset because I felt that you left us all alone to face these issues. Then, you would turn around and point the finger on how bad our system was. I couldn’t understand why you wasted your time and didn’t move on.But now I realize that you love God and people in UBF too much to be indifferent. You never stopped caring for us. And for that I am so thankful.
Timothy Keller wrote: We tend to be taken aback by the thought that God could be angry. How can a deity who is perfect and loving ever be angry? We take pride in our tolerance of the excesses of others. So what is God’s problem?…But love detests what destroys the beloved….Anger isn’t the opposite of love. Hate is, and the final form of hate is indifference….”
]]>The idea that UBF is something more than a human organization, namely a spiritual entity, a chosen instrument of God, instead of a community of believers who are just as precious as other parts of the church. There is a certain “magical aura” given to it. UBF is often called “God’s ministry” or “God’s work” (not sure how you call it, in German they call it “Gottes Werk”), a term I really hate because it implies that everything UBF does is done by God and thus automatically good and may not be questioned, and because it also subtly implies that it is the only ministry of God on this earth, or that there are several ministries, but UBF is a special one, instead of recognizing that there is only one church formed by all believers and we should not think in organizational differentiations (think of Eph 2:14-22). UBF is a human entity, not a spiritual entity, may they tell you what they want!
Just today I found a bizarre article according to which North Korean archaeologists found a “unicorn lair” with the remains of such an animal that once belonged to a king who was supposed to be the ancestor of Kim Il Sung. At first I thought it was a joke, but it seems it is not. And there are similar stories about the birth of Kim Il Sung, coupling it with something supernatural. These attempts of the regime and dynasty trying to surround itself with a mystical and magical aura reminded me in some way of the “spiritual” aura that UBF imposed on itself.
]]>This is what I wrote above, the “system” can make sense for a long time because it seems to be conclusive, everything seems to have a Biblical underpinning, which is repeated every week in the 1:1 sessions, Sunday sermons, sogams and in the conferences. As you say, by redefining words and interpreting Bible texts in the context of UBF instead of in their real context, by picking+choosing (e.g. in my 10 years of UBF we never studied Galatians, though it was considered the most important part of the Bible by Martin Luther – instead we studied passages of the OT like the marriage of Rebekah even several times), the Bible is not taught as it is, but abused as a justification for doing exactly what UBF is doing. Actually, to turn a good teaching into somthing horrible, you often don’t need to teach the opposite, it often suffices to make a slight, subtle change or even only overemphasis of one part or neglect of another part.
Once you study the Bible carefully without the UBF blinders, you recognize how blantantly the UBF system contradict the Bible. We have already given many examples.
]]>I would expand this by saying ubf is a system of thoughts, values, practices, and also: identities, hierarchies and lineage.
So much of my “self” is bound up in my prior identity. I find that I have a hard time relating to the loose, open authority structures that are void of hierarchies (even many American corporations have gotten rid of their hierarchy authority structure). And I sometimes feel isolated because I feel I’ve been cut off from the lineage of shepherds, the lineage I once imagined must surely have gone all the way back from UBF to SVM to Peter himself.
There is also an official ubf motto (We are soldiers of Jesus, we are soldiers of Jesus…). Member shepherds know what I’m talking about.
It is very important to understand that ubf is a system in order to begin to understand me and my actions. I don’t primarily blame one or two people, but the system (pattern). For me, ubf was a Borg-like assimilation machine. Can bionics offer something good to humanity? Sure. But not if it becomes the Borg.
]]>But I understand you so very well. This was exactly how I felt. In the beginning, I struggled so much because I wanted to make others open their eyes and wake up from this bad dream as well, but it was so much more difficult than I expected.
“The problem is we were all trained by the same system whether we acknowledge this or not.”
Exactly. It is really important that people understand that UBF is in fact not only a community, but also a system of thoughts, values, and practices. A pretty sophisticated system that makes much sense for many years, if you don’t dig too deeply and don’t start to really examine and question it. And we all were victims of that system, including the directors. The system encouraged those who have a dominant personality to lord over others and encouraged those who are timed to be submissive. It reinforced our bad personality traits and instead dampened our good sides, our empathy with others, our talents and spiritual gifts.
I see much of our discussion as a way to identify and expose the bad elements in this system. While I was in UBF and was unable to honestly talk about these things with others (there were no Internet forums at that time, and inside UBF such open talk was discouraged), I always thought that maybe it is only my own wrong perception. Then after I became married, I found that my wife complained about these same things. And then I found more and more people and testimonies on the Internet or published in books that all showed the same pattern and revealed it was actually a system, not random misbehavior of individual leaders.
]]>You said, “After 2 years, they finally have brought people to the point where they have become dependent and obedient.”
You already know what I’m going to say, but I want to point out something for our readers. Why is this done? Why do ubf people try to bring people to be dependent and obedient? One key reason is because they have bound ubf ideology (heritage) to bible verses. So in their minds, they are pleasing God and obeying the bible by doing such things.
For example, what does Romans 1:5 say? “Through him and for his name’s sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith.”
When obedience is redefined to mean obey your shepherd, and the expression of obedience is tied to fishing, 1:1, Sunday service, prayer meeting, and your identity has become a servant of God, a shepherd for college students, a mother of prayer or an Abraham of faith, then what do you conclude from Romans 1:5?
But all this is of course very dangerous spiritually, emotionally and psychologically. How can we counteract such things? Here are a few suggestions:
1. Stop taking one verse out of context. Romans 1:5 has nothing to do with making people submit and obey God’s law. If you don’t believe me, then keep reading all of Romans, then read Hebrews and Galatians.
2. Stop redefining words, such as “love”, “obedience”, “joy”, etc.
3. Connect with the outside world, both the Christian world and the cultural world where you live.
4. Talk. Speak. Dialogue back and forth instead of just dictating one-way lectures or commands. Ask questions. Think for yourself.
5. And to the “natives” (are we living in a jungle??) I say: realize that a majority of Korean missionaries feel a similar pain deep down as you do. They just don’t now how to express it and may be unable to do so. Go ahead and push back. So what if they get angry? What can they really do to you? If they truly do have good intentions, they won’t do anything. Realize that you can push back and in some cases the Korean missionary’s spiritual life may depend on your pushing back.
6. Above all devote yourself to understanding and holding onto the gospel of Jesus. It is true that the gospel is everything. Remember that Jesus+nothing=everything.
]]>I think I understand what you are saying here.
“Truthful comment, Anon! I think the reason why they cannot leave after 2 years is that UBF is a control based ministry. After 2 years, they finally have brought people to the point where they have become dependent and obedient. ”
I honestly do not know why missionaries do not leave after a few years or even humbly allow the natives to lead. But I do know that there is a lot of control, to the point where we no longer use our minds to think, we become isolated and robot like( for the sake of mission). Recently, I told a missionary that I felt like I just woke up. I don’t think she understood what I was saying. The sad thing is I had been a Christian before I came to UBF. My Christian friends kept warning me that UBF just didn’t sound right. There were so many red flags and I just simply ignored them because I enjoyed the deep bible study. I learned a lot, but soon I became isolated. I chose not to talk to anyone about UBF because they just didn’t understand or get it. Soon I was unable to relate to my Christian friends because my life revolved around mission.
The control is very subtle and many missionaries don’t acknowledge its there. I still recall one shepherdess a few years ago, standing up one Friday meeting and saying, ” maybe I’m not as strong as the missionaries, but I cant keep up with your expectations and the pressure. I work full time, I come to meetings, go fishing, and I hardly have time with my children…and I feel guilty all the time”. A missionary responded,” there are no expectations nor pressure.” There is no acknowledgment that there is control and expectations.
” If there would be a group of elders instead of a single director, then in a mixed community it would be also mixed, and if there would be a proper understanding of church leadership and acceptance of Mt 23,”
You are speaking of what Toledo is trying to become. After many families left Toledo, there was a big push for a group of elders to be formed so that there would be more accountability(leadership council). Shortly after, Pastor Paul decided to step down and allow a native Pastor to step up. There was a strong leading of the Holy Spirit in order for this to have taken place, and three native Pastors stepped up.
The problem is we were all trained by the same system whether we acknowledge this or not. Many of us are struggling not to fall back into this system that is embedded in us. There are times that I find myself as busy minded as before, attending many meetings without anyone expecting me to be there. At the end I am left empty and burned out. That is what I have been trained to do and learned to enjoy. That’s another problem, we have grown to enjoy this twisted Gospel of works, because it makes us feel like we are the ones making a difference. But this is not the true Gospel and this is not how God intended us to live our lives. God is about love, relationships, grace, mercy and freedom!!Unfortunately, most of these components of the Gospel were not truly practiced in UBF. Even now its difficult for us to love and build relationships with one another. I think this is because its difficult for missionaries or “trained” shepherds to accept and love people for who they are. They try to change natives into what they think is a Godly like character. They love and sacrifice so much but sometimes they forget to trust and point them to Jesus. We should be sharing the true Gospel with others not controlling peoples lives. May God have mercy on us to break free from this system that truly entangles.
]]>I do not think that he did his job very well, because he should have changed the roles again when he came to America. But he still stayed in control and became the general director. Also, his own ideology and teaching was that people always need to obey and never change roles. So he should have either changed his teaching or follow his own teaching. I think this is a sure sign of a power monger: They set up rules for everybody to follow, but make an excemption for themselves.
Actually, I think this whole question who is the director would not be so important if UBF did not employ single-person-leadership and authoritarianism. If there would be a group of elders instead of a single director, then in a mixed community it would be also mixed, and if there would be a proper understanding of church leadership and acceptance of Mt 23, nobody would rule over the other anyway. Im my view the point that most directors are Koreans is not the crucial point. If they would be natives, but follow the same pattern of authoritarianism as taught by Samuel Lee, things would not be better, but maybe even worse.
I know one case where a girl from the US was married of to a German against her will in a very ugly way (the marriage was later divorced) by a US native director. Sure, this happened because that director underwent the training of Samuel Lee. But in effect, it did not make a difference whether the leader was a Korean or not. The problem is that the leaders are following a paradigm of shepherding and authoritarianism that is simply wrong. If they would not follow that paradigm, it would not even matter so much whether the leader is a Korean or a native. The wrong understanding of shepherding is what makes this whole question so relevant in the first place.
]]>Why have the missionaries been content to set up shop and raise their families here? It just seems to go against what a traditional missionary life entails. Like many have observed, this extended stay has led to many, many problems such as over-training of sheep, communication issues causing much confusion and the forceful and wrongful imposition of their culture upon us. UBF has an unpleasant or odd subculture of its own because of this overstaying phenomenon.
It’s interesting that as time passes, the Koreans do not seem to understand American culture any better; in fact they have become more hardened in their stance that they must impose UBF culture because American culture is utterly godless and corrupted. I even heard one American leader (after 15 years in UBF mind you) say that he was thinking about re-engaging American culture as a missionary of sorts but he hoped that in the process of doing so he would not “catch some weird spiritual disease.” It was funny when he said it, but then I realized that he was serious and so I felt sorry for him and then angered because that is how many UBF Koreans regard American culture. They don’t want to take a back seat or leave because they feel as though they have to sanitize our culture and who we are. True some may do this out of love and a shepherd’s heart, but even still it is a wrong way to look at the people and their culture and it ultimately leads to over-shepherding; moreover it shows a lack of faith in the efficacy of the Holy Spirit’s work upon the heart of a believer.
I’m sure that many of the missionaries could not even process your questions because their modus operandi is to install a foreign, long-lasting system into our culture.
I’m so ashamed of UBF in some aspects because the main things I remember learning about in my first four years of UBF was the importance of the shepherd-sheep system, one-to-one bible study, campus mission and faithful attendance to meetings and conferences, rather than the centrality and supremacy of Jesus Christ, the body of believers and the kingdom of God. If these latter things would have been taught in conjunction with the good things of UBF, then the sky would have been the limit in terms of the good influence of the ministry. Now we’re broken and looking to pick up the pieces somehow.
But as you noted, the missionaries can’t even perceive this; they think that all is well and that they simply need to double down on their efforts of old. I’ve thought this for a few years now: UBF is very good at giving people an initial spiritual foundation, at least in regard to studying the scriptures and evangelizing others. For a good two years or so this process may go well, but I’ve noticed that many become stagnant after this period because they simply don’t fit into UBF’s system. The wisest thing to do would be to have them pray about joining another church, but we want to instead ascribe all kinds of spiritual issues and labels to these struggling people. This is utter nonsense.
On my end, I’m trying to not let UBF dominate my thoughts as it has in the past. My new mantra has become: Jesus is greater than UBF or simply Jesus > UBF. I realize that I can only overcome my frustrations and despair by focusing on him rather than the efforts of missionaries or UBF at large. In addition to this, I’m beginning to understand the necessity of reading various Christian sources and conversing with others outside of the UBF body. This was shunned even in my early days in UBF and this explains largely why we are at our current juncture. I really don’t highly regard what a missionary has to say as to what to experience and what not to experience within the realm of Christianity; I have to find my identity in Christ now, of course while still respecting and loving the body.
Like I said, it is sad that we even have to pose questions about authority and autonomy, but they have forced our hand. It should have been a foregone conclusion that Americans would take over the ministry and contextualize it to their environment, but such a thought process just does not enter the Korean missionary’s mind.
Paul, a Jew, contextualized the gospel to Greeks very successfully and also desperately tried to reconcile both Jews and Greeks, under Christ, where he could and then he left; he later wrote letters and revisited prior church plants but he did not seem to linger there indefinitely. I don’t see Korean missionaries even remotely following such a model. I don’t mean to be overly negative or cynical about this, but it just seems to be the obvious truth to me. I don’t deny their love for us and devotion to Jesus, but their methods are fatally flawed.
I heard that UBF is hiring theologians in order to offer training for the staff that would be equivalent to an Mdiv degree program (minus the language courses so it wouldn’t be quite equivalent to an actual Mdiv). I’m wondering why we are bringing people in rather than having our staff go to an actual seminary. I think it would be better for people to get the exposure to the broader body of Christ. Is it a financial issue mainly; it’s cheaper to bring someone in? Is this a common practice in other churches?
I remember in the past whenever I tried to be involved in planning a conference or a fellowship meeting format, it always seemed as though the final plan was tailored around what would please the missionaries the most. Instead of them asking what would be good for their hosts, they made us acquiesce to what they wanted. It’s almost as if we were forced to become missionaries to the missionaries. From that point on, I suppose I started developing this passive mindset that considered whatever they wanted was best; I just got tired of fighting and trying to bend my thought processes to understand them. But now I’m realizing the negative fruit of my passivity and I want to begin to start thinking critically again and growing spiritually.
]]>Sharon: you are articulating how many of us feel so well. I’m tempted to read the books you quote.
Martha: I’m so happy to hear from you. Mark’s friendship and correspondence with me has been so encouraging and enlivening. It is the kind of friendship that I yearned for the past ten years. God bless both of you.
formershep: I’m so thankful that God is leading you into wholeness in all aspects of your life.
Brian: don’t throw away the list! We all need each other’s prayer.
Thanks all for these wonderful conversations the past few days.
]]>* I corrected the numbers above to adjust for the families only and only the children they had at the time of leaving. The 103 number would include all the children now plus the single people who left. Quite a few families left before having children. This list does include some Koreans who left such as the wife of the “AoF” in America as well as one Korean missionary couple.
]]>I’ve said this before, but my other mantra is this: I will knowingly and willingly stand before God on Judgement Day with flawed doctrine and a partial understanding of truth, but I will not stand before Him without having given my all for the sake of love, justice, honesty, compassion, grace, faith, hope and friendship.
]]>I felt that you instantly understood where I was coming from when we met at the Well. Thank you, the interesting thing is that it was my first time meeting you and I felt like you understood so much more of why my tears were rolling down my cheeks than anyone else in my own ministry. I have been meaning to call you. I told mark that I would love to visit you and your family sometime, to just talk.
Formershep, I agree, I also have given up so much of who I am. A lot of my time and energy has been put into “ministry” and I have neglected very important areas of my life. I love serving God, I love studying Gods word with college students, but I do see how unbalanced and unhealthy life is/was. These days I still struggle to live a healthy life while still in UBF. Is this possible to live a healthy Christian life in UBF?
Brian,
I thank God for your friendship and for challenging me to open my eyes. Keep speaking up, that’s all I can say. I know that you are not 100% accurate in what you say, but you deeply understand the real issues in UBF.
I hesitate to say much on these blogs because, its difficult for me to articulate well without painting such a poor picture of UBF. Sometimes I feel like a true outcast, right in the middle, not truly fitting in with those in the ministry and not truly fitting in with those who left. My feelings and emotions towards people in UBF are complicated with love and anger intertwined.
There is some change in Toledo UBF, gradual change, but God is working and there is hope. Yet, in the midst of this change, there are things that remain the same and people are unwilling to tap into. These things are essential for any ministry to truly experience freedom and true heart felt change. In my opinion reconciliation, emotional and spiritual healing needs to happen in order for our Toledo ministry to experience true change. But this cannot be forced upon anyone. So please pray for true revival!!
“As the gospel welcomes people of every tribe and tongue and nation, it also challenges us to stretch ourselves beyond what is comfortable. The degree to which we imitate Christ is not measured by how much we love those who are similar to us, but by how much we embrace those who are different.”
At the root of how and when we “cringe” is our idea of the gospel. Deepening and strengthening that understanding of the gospel via dialogue (however cringe-worthy it may be) is the way forward.
]]>Yes. Spiritual abuse and religious violence are still happening, and as someone said, around the ubf world. Are people being locked in rooms? No, I doubt it. But the fear is still there, and the same “hotel California” issue exists as expressed by the Korean woman in Chris’ quote above.
What other words besides religious violence could explain over half of a chapters’ leaders leaving in a 6 month period? I have voicemail and over 200 MB of documents which capture the religious violence that occurred around 2011 in America.
]]>I endured such pain as you described for over 20 years. I painfully watched as 13 families in Toledo just disappeared after a time of trial and trauma. And that was before the 7 families left Toledo in 2011/2012.
And that pain is why my longstanding offer to visit Toledo remains open. I so long to meet everyone and discuss many things and share the things that have been happening to our family.
The pattern of shunning that usually happens (which I watched 13 times) is after a certain point of raising matters of conscience, there is one last “good bye” meeting. The point is either get on board with ubf heritage or go away in silence. I was hoping that pattern was over, but apparently it is not.
I was offered that last meeting several times in 2011. I was offered to do the following:
– Meet in another city to “resolve matters? (Why couldn’t someone visit me? I rejected this meeting.)
– Meet individually to “resolve matters” (Why could my wife and I not meet together? I really rejected this meeting.)
– Meet with only a couple people and only discuss a limited number of issues (Why couldn’t many people listen in and know what was going on? Why couldn’t we just have an unscripted dialogue? I rejected this meeting.)
– Meet at the airport to “resolve matters” (Why treat my concerns so superficially? I rejected this meeting.)
I rejected all these in order to keep the dialogue going and to expose what was happening, trying to include as many people as possible.
I finally did agree to meet in February 2012. I brought Abraham N. with me. It was a rather good and joyful meeting. Everyone hugged each other. Most everyone said “We have a lot to talk about!”
So I wanted to meet monthly or continue the meetings. But so far, I only have received silence (well that and 2 threats hinting at a harassment lawsuit).
This is why I so thank God for you (M&M)! I really hope to visit Toledo soon. I hope new and ongoing dialogue could actually happen in a ubf chapter.
My offer to meet, preach, teach, discuss or talk in any way with Toledo remains.
My new mantra: Reconciling with one former member is worth more than finding 99 new sheep on campus.
]]>Thank you so much for sharing your article. You have articulated and expressed so well the emotion and feelings that many of us are feeling.
“Perhaps there are other Americans whose stories are different. But I know that there are many whose stories are similar to mine. After many years trying unsuccessfully to fit into this UBF “family,” they are now moving on.”
After many of the American families left Toledo, It became more obvious how isolated and lonely I had become. I realized with much regret, how isolated and lonely we all were. After so many years of being together and attending so many meetings, I still felt and feel like a stranger in this UBF ministry. When I speak up, I experience the cold shoulder, or the nonverbal disapproval. I am told that my faith needs to be more simple.( I take this as , just keep moving forward and stop talking about the issues). When I reach out to try to make friends, I realize more and more that I just don’t fit, and I feel like an outcast. When I look around me, I wonder, is it me? There seems to be an impermeable glass wall that does not allow me in.
]]>MJ, what do you mean with this? UBF is already older than I am, and I have already a gray beard.
My explanation for the things you observed is that because of its inherent pride, UBF was always unwilling to learn from other ministries and books. Instead it only stewed in its own grease, which consists mainly of the deficient teachings and practices of its founder. The only Korean UBF leaders I saw learning from outside sources and teachers were the reform UBF leaders in Germany. It was the first thing they did because they knew very well that the UBF theology and missiology was deficient and they needed to learn a lot more and relearn much of what they believed to know. The rest of the UBF leaders continued as before and summoned and rehashed the “spiritual heritage” of Samuel Lee instead.
]]>Thank you for this article. I agree with Adeney. I love his point that every culture brings in a new perspective of God. “Each (culture) is capable of knowing something of God which no one else knows.”
I think being a missionary is like other occupations in the sense that there a very few good ones. I have had many teachers some good/mediocre, but only a few very good ones. I’ve also had background similar to Adeney’s because I also grew up as a missionary kid, 6 years in Ukraine and 4 years in Turkey. I’ve seen many different kinds of missionaries a few who understand Adeney’s concept of being a “stranger in a host culture” and unfortunately many who don’t.
A problem I sense is a lack of s o u n d training, a lack of concrete vision, a lack of definition of what a missionary is. There is desire, fire, sacrifice, but no wisdom, discretion and this causes more damage than good. I’ve seen so many ubfism’s that only make sense to ubfers. I’ve gone with the ubf flow and hurt others even when it was against what I truly thought and I’m sorry.
The interesting thing, however, is that there is always CME (continuous missionary education) and workshops and conferences and no lack of meetings. But what type of training is it? When I compare UBF to other international mission boards of fellow missionaries it’s completely different. I think it’s because UBF is relatively young. I also sometimes see a lack of professionalism in UBF, which I don’t think is right before God, but is a natural consequence if you are overworked preparing all the messages and daily breads and 20 one-to ones. Hosea 4:6, “My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.”
]]>1) the testimony of so many others from virtually every continent where UBF has gone to, and perhaps
2) one’s own personal life experience in UBF, which may not be as “extreme,” but nonetheless is in a similar vein of basically being “domineered over.”
Otherwise, what usually follows is marginalization, gossips, slander, shame, and various sorts of punishments, discipline, threats, warnings or in this Korean missionary’s case “religious violence.”
Are such things still happening????
]]>Here is another answer, given by a Korean woman who had been sent to Germany as a UBF missionary in the 1980s, in a letter published in an article about UBF by the commissioner for cults of the Protestant church:
“I had to spend the last days full of fear and scared, after R. and L., both belonging to the UBF, suddenly visited me and repeatedly harassed and threatened on the phone. I have therefore decided to write down my request so that you can help me if anything happens to me by the UBF. I ask you for help, e.g. to inform my family and the police, if that will happen! I hereby express definitely that it is my absolutely determined decision to neither come back to UBF – for instance no participation any more at the Bible course or conversation – nor allow any search for contact with me, particularly if I am alone. My only desire is to get away from the UBF definitely and thus to be able to be free completely. I have nothing else left than fear of the UBF which has held me and wants to hold me against my will; once I have been locked in in my room because I wanted to dissociate myself from the UBF. After that I even was displaced and held from my Dortmund dormitory to Cologne till I could escape in the night. That is another reason why I still fear, that the UBF people could come again and kidnap me … I wasn’t a victim of a direct physical use of violence or financial exploitation, however, that spiritual violence was for me more terrible than physical. The know-all attitude and arrogance of UBF, believing that only they have the right faith and others should repent and accept the faith of UBF, was nothing else but ‘religious violence’ for me. I have just suffered from this unbearable ‘religious violence’.”
Please note again that this first record of spiritual abuse of UBF in Germany was not written by a native, but by a Korean missionary! Her use of the word “religious violence” is remarkable. She is talking about the same thing that later was called “spiritual abuse” in a famous book by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen. In my view, UBF, as established by Samuel Lee, was a spiritually abusive system in its very core. The problems of bad understanding of “mission” and dealing with native people comes only on top of that. Those who romanticize the early days of UBF as the “golden days” to which we need to “go back” do not really know the history of UBF.
]]>Concerning the sometimes strong shocking remarks from Vitaliy on the behavior of Koreans towards Russians, I also want to mention that my Korean chapter director told me that Koreans actually hate Russians because they believe that the Soviet union was responsible for the Korean war and the division, so in his view it was like a miracle of God that they went to Russia at all (btw, I’m not sure how they think about China, we would need to ask a Korean). So, maybe, on the one side Korean missionaries tried to love the Russians with a shepherd heart, but on the other side, subconsciously, they still hated them and tried to take revenge by domineering over them. And, maybe, a similar thing happened with natives in Western countries. Many Koreans admired the rich and industrialized Western nations, and got a kind of inferiority complex. So this may explain why they again subconciously tried to domineer over these people as well, to comensate that inferiority complex. Anyway, for one reason or the other, there was this attitude of UBF missionaries towards native people from a position of pride, authority and “we teach you”. Superficially and initially it looked like “serving” the young students and showering them with love, but the goal was to make them thankful and dependent and thereby have an even stronger grip on them in the long run and completely subdue them in the end. Natives who could not be subjugated that way were blamed and shamed and were finally expelled or called unspiritual hedonists who “ran away” when they could not stand it any longer.
]]>* Do UBF missionaries–who have expected natives/indigenous people to be subordinate to them even after decades–even know how to “be subordinate to their hosts”?
* Are they willing to change their roles?
* Give up their positions of control and authority?
* Truly allow indigenous leaders to lead?
* Take a back seat?
* Wait to be invited and instructed, rather than calling the shots?
* Give up their secret meetings with a few “certain people” to make decisions for the majority of indigenous people in UBF who have little to no say.
* The question may not just be “are they willing” but “can they”?
* Will they even care to look at these questions and answer them?
]]>Just thinking how my former self with my tradinionalist mind set would have responded: “Don’t trust your feelings! Don’t live by your feelings! Live by faith! Deny yourself and your feelings! Write a repentant testimony and share it at tonight’s meeting! Take up your cross of mission and go fishing! Otherwise God will never bless you.”
Either you cringe reading the above. Or you take a deep sigh and say, “Thank God.”
]]>I think so. We should not be so foolish to belive we somehow could “create” that Spirit on our own. Jesus said about the Spirit: “The wind blows wherever it pleases.” If we try to create a spirit on our own, it will be a fake spirit that can do more harm than good.
]]>One point I never fail to point out, though, is that this whole problem of UBF is much deeper and more fundamental than a problem of bad missiology or intercultural problems. The 1976 letter shows that these same problems happened inside Korea, among people of the same culture. The problem of Koreans pushing their culture and mindset on others comes on top of that, what has been written by these people, but what the grievances they observed and reported were already worse enough. That’s why I think the 1976 letter is such an important document for us today, even though it seems so long ago. Every UBF member should read it and imagine how these people must have felt at the time.
]]>“I have also struggled with my identity. The chaos of American culture in the past few decades had affected me deeply. Rather than learning to navigate the tidal waves of change, I was encouraged to remove myself and adopt a new and strange identity in UBF. The influence and pressure was profound and affected every area of my life: my hairstyle, my clothing, how I married, how I raised my children, and so on.
I tried to suppress my true identity as an American. But that identity was real and it resurfaced. Jesus wants me to be authentic.
How does it feel now to realize all of this?
Well, it is very painful. At times, I feel angry for having unnecessarily given up so much of myself. But I also feel liberated and more alive in Christ than ever.”
When I joined UBF I was just 18 and hadn’t yet formed my adult identity. In UBF I lost my true identity. I too conformed to short hair styles, no make-up, fashionable clothing, etc, etc. I didn’t have any time to explore my own interests. This may sound superficial to come reading, but it’s not! We are human beings living in this world that God created. He created us to live a full life: spiritually and humanly by enjoying the world and the talents and interests he has given us.
But in UBF your identity comes from the group and your “mission.” And when I left, I felt like I had nothing left. I was also told that basically there is nothing for me outside of UBF, so I should just stay. But this idea that you are what you do: ie, the mission you do makes your life meaningful and makes you special in some way is a lie. That’s why some people in UBF will fight to the death defending themselves and their “mission” because they have believe that lie that the “mission” is everything. And if they deny part of the mission or admit a failure, then there will be nothing left for them. That is truly sad and only an honest heart and conscious can admit that.
While in UBF, though there were many good times, I can say I was not living my life to the full as God intends for it. Now, though I too am getting professional Christian therapy for depression, I am living more fully now. Because I am being true to myself, to those around me and to my Lord. I feel like a young child exploring the world with my Daddy looking on. And I feel very spiritually safe in that place.
]]>If there was ever a way to sum up the past 2 years for me, this is it:
“In fact, I am now convinced that it was really not necessary for me to be made part of this family at all. Rather, it was the missionaries who should have become part of my family.”
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