In private, they open up a little and reveal how they really think. At first it seems so refreshing, because honesty and frankness have been so rare. You feel as though for the first time you might have found (something like) a friend.

But then the *content* of what they said begins to sink in. That tiny window that you were allowed to peek through reveals a world of strange theology, cognitive dissonance, messed up relationships, weird coping mechanisms, and in many cases deep sorrow and apathy and (for lack of a better word) fatalism. Then the magnitude of the problem hits you hard: This community is really messed up.

When he told me this, I was thankful that he was finally honest with me, so I felt as though we could start a new relationship based on this kind of honesty. When the meaning of his words sank in though, I was so deeply troubled that I felt as though many of my friendships in the ministry were basically a sham and I wanted to get as far away from him and the ministry as I could. However, something tells me that I should hang in there and try to understand his perspective and perhaps have hope for both he and I to grow in our understanding of what friendship is. Although by and large, I know that I need to be plugged into a more relationally healthy community, which I’m currently trying to find.

The moment someone says this, it becomes essentially impossible to have anything like a real human relationship with that person, and certainly not a friendship in Christ.

Ben, a week or so ago, you posted a good quote on FB about intimacy and openness/honesty. Perhaps it was by Richard Rohr. Do you have that quote?

That means this “missionary” has no idea about the gospel of the Messiah and is far from the kingdom of God. Such a person desperately needs to be shown what love is.

This conference report from 2010 needs to be enshrined somewhere. This is an amazing read and I enjoyed going over it again now, nearly 5 years later.

Although I don’t know the details, I know that the ubf leaders never go past “Step 0” in your part 2 article above. They failed to make a safe place. If they did, we would not have had a flood of ubfriends and people contacting me the last few years.

I suppose the ubf echelon kicked you out of the Well, and marginalized you in various ways…but I will let you tell the story :)

After a nearly two year hiatus, I may be willing to post the next chapter of this exciting saga.

But before I do, can anyone guess what happens next?

In just a few words, tell us what you think happens in Part 3.

This will also help me to gauge if it is worthwhile to actually write more about this subject. Sometime the silence of our silent readers becomes unbearable. If you want me to post another installment, please say so. If you prefer that I keep quiet or just write happy stuff, please tell me now.

I do however have over 300 MB of Word documents, PowerPoints, email messages and PDF screen captures of internet material :)

http://theamericanjesus.net/2014/09/26/lets-talk-publicly-matthew-18/

“For the past few years the theme of our staff conferences has been “Christian maturity and community.” This year we’re excited to continue exploring this theme by having the chance to deeply study Paul’s entire letter to the Galatians. The first step in our study is for everyone to do a personal factual study of this epistle.”

http://www.ubfnorthamerica.org/news-annoucements/

Does anybody still believe this stuff? Maturity and community has been the focus? Really?

If anyone in any country says “Just be patient with ubf leaders, follow Matt. 18 and mind your own business.”, then share this article and remember what has transpired already.

And remember there have been 4 crisis situations of mass exodus or excommunication of long time leaders (both Korean and non-Korean) in 1976, 1989, 2001 and 2011.

If the trend holds, crisis #5 will occur around 2019. And Lord willing, I’ll be here for those who need help coping.

Your points are very good. My new church is also amazingly vibrant in its Bible study and outreach to students. The number of students and the quality of their faith and love for Jesus is like nothing I ever saw in UBF. I am thankful that God is doing His work in my campus and there are healthy ministries that lead the students to real and complete freedom in Jesus.

Curiously, even though UBF operated on my campus for almost 20 years, not one minister in any of the churches I’ve spoke to has heard of it. The staff member of the local InterVarsity has heard about it, but didn’t know it operated on my campus, and few of the students that I’ve spoken to in my current church have heard about it. It seems that far from being on the front lines, our efforts were largely unnoticed and not particularly relevant.

My wife said, “We also wanted to participate in your Bible study group and learn, may be we study in different ways”.

He answered, “I have never seen a word in the Bible where Jesus would tell us how and with what methods we must/should study the Bible. Jesus said only about what we must/should believe”.

In the church there are no particular “holy” methods or system of doing things, no heritage at all. And of course there are no “days of the founders” (who would provide the heritage)) neither even some “special” pastors/leaders. There are no “numbers” in prayers, even in talks, AT ALL. There are no “absolute” meetings. This church operates through attracting people with the gospel not through pushing its members to “work hard” in fishing. And though there are no “campus focus” in the church, the “number” of university students and young people is such as ubf can’t dream of.

Speaking for myself, I guess this is true as long as you take out all the ad hominem arguments said about some of us mainly in the backrooms!

But our audience may also be a younger, new generation ranging from 17-26 years or so. It is very important to give relevancy for young members. My heart is set on the young members because they will most likely go through exactly what we are testifying about and hope to impact in way of change. (Sorry Ben for my earlier comment that implied no hope, but I am still concerned about the hearts intent of some leaders out there.) I maintain that it may be a lonely existence if a freshman is going through many of the listed matters. Some strong personalities can see through everything, but their might be someone out there who needs to see what we have to offer so that they all know they are not alone in this struggle.

@ Joshua, You are doing the right thing and do not be shaken – ever by veiled threats. It just demonstrates the weakened spiritual condition of said pastor. It is the work of the devil that wants to prevent healing and restoration.

I am so so sorry that my church of UBF is employing such downright dirty disgusting tactics of the devil to continue to try to control you even after you have moved on.

My personal advice: DARE THEM TO DO SO! DOUBLE DARE THEM!! TRIPLE DARE THEM!!! Then they will either show themselves either to be:

* The cowards and bullies that they are by refusing to do so. OR

* They will show themselves to be slime balls like the devil if they do so.

Sorry for my Dirty Harry advice! Even though I wouldn’t say this of Christ, yet he pushed the devilish religious leaders until they either repented or they killed him.

I have a voicemail that I’ve digitally recorded and also a Christmas card digitally scanned as evidence of similar veiled threats, indicating that I was getting into the hot-water of harassment of a ubf director. The “threats” I received are admittedly mild in nature. But they are severe in tone and timing. I think we may need to band together at some point because I’m not going to stop my vocal criticism, and the veiled threats in the past sometimes turned into real threats, as Chris and others have found out.

After I wrote the “Forgiving Myself” article (http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/02/15/forgiving-myself-by-joshua/), I was emailed with a veiled threat that if I keep on “slandering UBF” and “slandering [my pastor]”, the private sins that I had shared in confidence while in UBF would be posted publicly for all to see. I guess the other purpose behind weekly testimony sharing is to accumulate ammunition to use as insurance against former members.

I believe Joe and Ben had been a better position than others. You guys were known as exemplary american shepherd as ubf’s proud fruit. It might be more difficult to treat you as harsh as ‘leaders’ treat nameless, powerless missionaries, shepherds, and sheep. Also, you guys are seen by many others. Others are watching how leaders are treating you and saying about you guys. I am not saying it’s been be easier. Surely it’s gonna be difficult.

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed” (Proverbs 31:8)

Chris, Did you yourself translate into English what was originally written in German?

I have already discussed with some people in which form we can re-publish some of the important material of the former website in a proper way. It is really a difficult issue, because most of the testimonies are private in nature, and the Internet is a public thing. Much of it has been written by people with whom I lost contact. Actually, I think anybody who has eyes to see and ears to hear can know enough to understand the nature and seriousness of the issues of UBF. Everybody else may not be convinced by reading the umpteenth testimony telling the same stories. Like the 5 brothers of the rich man in Lk 16, “If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be persuaded even if someone rises from the dead.” Jesus condemned authoritarianism and seeking honor clearly enough in Mt 23. If they don’t listen to Jesus, while claiming to study the Bible so deeply, even “digging out the word of God”, who can help them?

Glossary of terms used by ubfers

ubf survivor

Internet time machine: ubf info

Chris, I remember once reading a website about UBF that was both in German and translated into English. Was that your website? Was that the website that was shut down?

What credibility will UBF have when they will not answer and address such issues?

Does UBF condone, approve of and not speak up about “beating a junior UBF person” for any reason?

How long is UBF leadership going to remain silent?

It was not the UBF top leadership who did that, but Peter Chang in Bonn. The website contained several shocking articles about him, since Bonn UBF was (and still is) the most extreme UBF chapter in Germany (and maybe in the world). He had even been in the media several times and was investigated by the federal prosecutor in Bonn. Unfortunately, the investigation did not find enough jurisdictionally relevant and provable crimes that were not yet time-barred. For instance, if people were beaten “voluntarily” (as several members testified), this was their own fault according to the law. So he was never officially convicted, and as you know, it is difficult to report critically about a person until this has happened. Peter Chang’s attorneys found a list of things regarding the website that could be formally sued, like not having a complete imprint, using the “trademarked” name UBF as part of the domain name, reproducing material like sermons that was “copyright” by UBF, but also “violating personal rights” of people mentioned in the testimonies and slandering his “good reputation”. They did not sue me, but sent a so-called “dissuasion,” threatening to sue me with a jurisdictional amount of 100,000 Euros if I do not close the website and sign a statement that I would never publish anything about UBF and Peter Chang any more. The German laws are very strict. You really need to make a website water-proof if you don’t want to get sued. For Peter Chang, it would have been easy to pay the court costs in case he lost – he already paid expensive lawyers to write that dissuasion. He has a lot of money and loyal followers who would testify anything. But I am only a private person, cannot pay expensive lawyers, and have to feed a family that would be ruined from paying 100,000 Euro. Chang and his attorneys knew this very well. There was a small chance that they would win a lawsuit, so I had to close the website for the time being. I was dissatisfied with it anyway; I always wanted to do it “right”, rearrange and update the content, but never had enough time to properly maintain it and make it lawyer-proof. The only sad thing is that a lot of relevant material, particularly testimonies of ex-members, is currently unavailable on the Internet. People may think the few examples that were posted on this website are the only examples of abuse. But there are so many examples in the testimonies which have been published in the past, by dozens of dropouts. And even those are only the tip of an iceberg of unwritten stories.

Yes I forgive UBF. Yes I am thankful for UBF. Honestly, I even love UBF. But to “leave quietly without raising a voice” is something my conscience would not allow me to do.

So when I resigned as director of Detroit UBF in protest after giving 24 years of my life to ubf and began publicly criticizing ubf, I prepared for legal action against me. I have a plan in place if it happens.

Ben is correct though, it is unlikely ubf will sue any of us. It is possible though that individual ubf directors could sue for a “harassment campaign” against them. If such a thing happens to me, I am ready to take this to the national news media. There are several high-profile lawyers in Detroit who have taken civil rights issues to a national level. And I’ve already had experience in courts in regard to non-ubf matters.

Other than James and Wesley, the missionaries will not dare to make statements online, even though they challenge their sheep to “be strong and courageous!” Sometimes they think themselves to be powerful by shaming, humiliating, lording over and exercising their authority over innocent unknowing sheep in clear violation of what Jesus taught (Mt 20:25-26; Mk 10:42-43; Lk 22:25-26).

Not that Chris is waiting for the day or expecting it, but I am still waiting for the day when UBF will do the right thing and publicly and officially apologize for suing Chris. I know that you have already told your story many times before, but maybe you want to tell this story as a lead article.

By suing you for 100,000 Euros, everyone in UBF needs to know that UBF clearly violated Scripture, dishonored God and bullied and threatened you to comply with what they demanded.

How can anyone with a godly conscience in UBF not be upset by this??? Or do we no longer have a soul and a conscience?

Well…don’t use email or there will be a threat of a harassment lawsuit. Or at minimum “God bless you. I never want to receive email from you again.” (like I received) And it is rather amazing that they have not sued me yet for this website and my own blog like someone did to Chris.

Please send out your all articles (including next ones) to all leaders in ubf. You are an official ubf staff member. I want to see how ubf deal this officially/(or unofficially). This process will be recorded and judged.

Joshua says, “(UBF) totally sucked the life out of me.”

I say “ubf was a crushing asphyxiation machine ripping me to shreds, tearing apart the body of Christ ligament by ligament.”

Someone posted this on facebook: What happens when you take the fun out of fundamentalism? You are left with da mental.

SOON TO COME: THE INCREDIBLES

(SAME BAT TIME, SAME BAT CHANNEL)

You say, “I was literally CHOKING IN UBF.”

Joshua says, “(UBF) totally sucked the life out of me.”

I too have expressed that the Chicago UBF headquarters was oppressive, heavy, judgmental, unfriendly, predictable, unaccountable, untouchable, impersonal, condescending, clandestine, sanctimonious, and authoritarian. (So so sorry for piling on the adjectives!!! I started out with only 3 and just kept adding to the list.) Despite saying all this, I still love you!

Will UBF leadership hear, listen and respond to this?

** I just want to clearly state that I have nothing against anyone personally in Chicago UBF where I still regard many as my friends. I simply can no longer agree with such a controlling system, where I can find no biblical basis to support it. Like Joe, I have already shared this privately and frequently with many UBF leaders (often to deaf ears). So, I am not saying anything that I have not already said privately before over the past half a dozen years.

I’m compelled to write this…

I started coming to UBF in 2003 and attended the west Los Angeles chapter in southern california. I had been there for 11 years up until my departure on Feb 2013. I had developed personal relationships with everyone in the church. Coming in for the first few times, I was welcomed and appreciated. Now, mind you that I had never been any other church prior to joining UBF. I had very limited knowledge of the Bible. I called UBF my second home! I defended it against any ‘accusation’, which now have become clear that some of those ‘accusations’ against UBF were actually true and legitimate! From 2003 to 2010 I was struggling to ‘feed sheep’ to please God and earn the respect of the seniors in our ministry. When I didn’t, I was shamed and humiliated through the SWS messages. When I didn’t, I was rebuked that I didn’t beat my body! When I didn’t, I was given ‘silent training’! When I didn’t, I was looked down upon.

Starting in 2010, I started to notice a few things about the ministry that I hadn’t before! Here are some examples…

1. Message Training (I was given message training and through the message training I was almost always TOLD what I needed to accept)
2. Bad Theology (Namely the mis-interpreting passages; taking them out of context; using verses to manipulate or coerce)
3. Authoritarian style of leadership/control (almost whatever I wanted to do had to be approved by the chapter director; this however wasn’t the case when I first came. Their control over my life began to get worse a few years into the ministry up until I left the ministry)
4. Numbers (It seemed that almost every conference ended with one question: “How many sheep are you going to feed?” And of course, this question was often answered for you! Another issue that bothered me was the fact that all the names of the bible teachers and students were displayed for the public to see!)
5. Relationship/Marriage (I would rather not elaborate on this!)
6. People or Pawn? (I felt people in the ministry were like pawns under control and every move was dictated! People were not them selves. They were often clone of the director. However the director talked, he/she talked! However the director ate, he/she ate, etc… Point being, people were not themselves! They were trying to be somebody else. And this was often done to gain the favor of the director or to be noticed by the director. And when noticed, they were rewarded and praised!)
7. Members leaving (One big question for me was, “why do people who seem so eager to learn God’s word and follow him, leave after sometime?” This seem not to bother anybody! The first question that I ask myself when a person leaves the ministry is, “DID I DO, SAY, OR ACTED IN ANY WAY THAT MIGHT HAVE CAUSED THIS PERSON TO LEAVE?” I think that’s only logical! Unless I don’t care!)
8. Gifts of the Spirit (It seemed like the goal in UBF is for ALL, yes ALL, the members to become Bible teachers. Is everyone called to be a Bible teacher!?? How about the gifts of the Spirit??)

Obviously the list can go on and on…I do want to acknowledge that yes, I was served food and taken care of, etc…, which I’m grateful for! 11 years of my life was invested into a ministry that I DID CARE about and STILL DO CARE! However, I believe that God brought me out in order to experience his peace, grace, and to serve him with joy and willingness, not to meet # of quotas or out of obligation!

Since I’ve left the ministry, God has been with me and has been making His presence known to me. I was literally CHOKING IN UBF. I was suffocating! However, now I’m leaving in God’s grace, in His mercy, that He poured out through His Son Jesus!

I do NOT hate UBF! I do believe that almost everybody that comments or reads UBFriends cares as well! I was often given “tough love” training! Sometimes you have to leave to make a point, since your point is not taken through a civilized conversation!

To be honest after the adjustment period for into UBF was over I found the messages boring and uninspired. It seemed almost that the director blew dust of the previous message took out a couple points added a couple points all to make it seem relevant for today and proceeded to remind us that the key to our life in UBF was to go fishing, double numbers, attend meetings etc….

I found that even if you traveled from time to time and happened to attend a different chapter it was the same. Of course it had the appearance of being different because the people were different, but overall the standard message style remained the same.

For maturing families there is no real meaning in it. For young students it is unrelatable. The messages should evolve with congregation and also reveal what is happening inside the church. But frankly, all UBF messages lack that personal touch. Wich may lead me into another topic altogether.

Depending on your Bible teacher, yes they sacrificed and made time for the student – I am not denying that. But in many a case the primary focus and motive is the Bible study. Where is the fellowship. I have already spent hours trying to get to know this website and have some reason to contribute (because others can say things better than me). Although, this community is virtual – actually, I’ll guess that most of us already know each other in person. We are sharing deep and personally with sincerity.

What I am getting at is UBF relationships are often geared solely for the increase in number. I will ask a question, “Where is the love in the serving?” A Bible study is arranged and all of a sudden you are committing yourself to attend everything asked of you. If you don’t attend you are either nagged to the point of never answering another email, text message or phone call or bullied into doing things because you have been made to feel guilty by your Bible teacher. Tell me, how is that love? For the Bible teacher it is an obligatory activity to pursue such students because you will also be bullied in way of rebukes for not playing your role as a shepherd.

Meanwhile, we all ask ourselves once in a while, “When will XYZ missionary share a public testimony or at least tell me their personal prayer topics? Because all I ever hear from XYZ is their ministry prayer topics?” If I wanted to know about the business and how well it was doing I would ask, but often we really want to know about the spiritual condition of the person. Sadly, we never hear about it, because it is none of our business.

Back to message comment: The body of UBF needs to find a way to maintain messages that can speak to everyone universally. It should also do so in a way that convicts or rebukes us strictly through the word of God alone. Often times when a messanger wants to address someone who sinned they are shamed as an example or illustration in the message. Instead the message should be deeper and allow for understanding and interpretation of such sin without actually calling a person out. My comment has nothing to do with concerning about someone’s feelings. Rather, I am getting at the fact that the UBF message style rebuke is yet another tool used to bully the congregation. Personally, when I am weak I read the Bible to be strengthened – even if it means I must be strengthened through my own repentance. However, if a servant of God self righteously bullies and accuses me I am backed into a corner. Why can I come to God in prayer but my fellow brothers corner me like dogs? This is not the love of Christ.

The messages lack the needs that a congregation should be getting. Frankly, we are diligently trained to be Bible teachers in UBF – some of us messengers. When the message no longer tells us anything new it becomes our responsibility to dig through the passage without the aid of a UBF manuscript. This completely reveals the inadequacy of the routine and uninspired message style that every young and growing leader gets whipped into doing. As one example from Joe’s article read – “let each messenger have their own voice or style” (again paraphrased)

You mentioned your disappointment about the fact that leaders did not write articles as promised.

My experience is that UBF leaders avoid making any written statements. The reason for this is that if they only communicate orally, nobody can later proof what they said, and they can conveniently change their opinion as they like and say one day this and another day that or even deny they ever said something. They avoid committing themselves as much as possible. If you read the testimony of James Kim who was displaced from Toledo to Houston by Samuel Lee, you’ll find a passage where James told how he demanded a written and signed document about something Samuel Lee promised him. This request looks strange at first, but James new very well that an oral promise had no value in UBF. (By the way, even that signed document did not help; Samuel Lee did not fulfill his promise anyway). UBF leaders never write anything down about their real teachings like “marriage by faith”. That way, nobody can really tackle such wrong teachings because people have to always proof first that such teachings even exist, which is very difficult if they are only communicated orally and informally by behavior and between the lines, and if various chapters apply them to various degrees. To me it almost seems that they learned from Niccolo Machiavelli who wrote 500 years ago: “I have heard many wise men say that you may talk freely with any one man about everything, for unless you have committed yourself in writing, the ‘Yes’ of one man is worth as much as the ‘No’ of another. And therefore one should guard most carefully against writing, as against a dangerous rock, for nothing will convict you quicker than your own handwriting… You may escape, then, from the accusation of a single individual, unless you are convicted by some writing or other pledge, which you should be careful never to give.“ That’s why UBF leaders like to invite us to personal talks to appease us. But they avoid engaging in serious communication via mail, or Internet Formus, or discussing serious things in larger groups or panel discussions with many witnesses present.

You may defend the leaders by saying they are not used to write much. What? What about all the messages and reports written by leaders? And what about their pushing every member to write many pages of “sogams” every week? I cannot accept that excuse. We can and should expect written “sogams” from the leaders of UBF concerning the issues we are all discussing here.