noone likes feeling outofcontrol: may God set all free from controlling & grant Holy Spirit help instead!

When conflicts arose between you and the leader, you traveled 500 km to meet with him personally. You did Step 1 exactly as you were supposed to do.

When that failed to resolve the problems, you attempted to go on to Step 2, which is to meet with him again in the presence of witnesses. You tried to make that meeting happen. But the leader ignored your request, and the witnesses (here I’m making an educated guess) were afraid to press the leader to make the meeting happen.

In my case, it has been essentially the same. Leaders have been willing to meet with me in very private settings (Step 1), but they have refused attempts to engage in Step 2. They do not want controversial matters to be raised at any meeting except one which they can carefully manage. Unless they remain in control of the flow of information and in control of the outcome, they do not want to meet. That’s why real dialogue rarely happens. Dialogue cannot have a predetermined outcome. It requires that everyone give up control.

In regard to your getting old comment, Joe, I have seen the same thing. I feel like ubf missionaries take a snapshot of you in the first year. Then you are forever seen as that snapshot person. As I grew in my 30’s and 40’s, became married for 10, 15 and now 19 years, and had 4 children, I felt as if I was still viewed as that timid boy I was back in 1987.

I think fear is at the heart of why leadership and authority is not transferred or even understood well at all in ubf. One of the most important imperatives from Jesus is “not so with you”, but ubf says “it is so with us”. They fear losing their heritage, they fear letting go of control, they fear someone else being better than them.

Here is a good example of the fear in the first two slides of the 2010 leadership presentations. Right away fear of ubf slipping away is planted. I have observed this fear for a quarter century.

The slide first identifies the Student Volunteer Movement (SVM) and it’s demise. ubf loves to tie themselves to SVM just because of a brief encounter between Moffit and Barry (is this rumor a myth or fact?)

SVM grew to about 4,300 and dissolved after about 80 years

UBF grew to about 3,000 and the apparent “solution” is fishing

[Here is the ubf 2010 slideshow]

Based on this, even ubf missionaries see that God can put a stop to an entire movement. Are the missionaries now fighting against God? Will ubf follow SVM and dissolve in 2041 (80 years)?

Note the significance of the year “2041”! That is 80 years after ubf began in 1961. All old-timer ubfers know the repeated prayer topic for “100,000 missionaries by 2041”. My conclusion is that this is kicking the goads against God’s will.

It is time for a new movement to begin. I had hoped that movement would be the Well, but that will revert back to a mediocre YDC retreat now.

I didn’t go to every Well (formerly YDC), but I attended 3 over about 5 years. My observation was that it originally was dominated by 2nd gens (children of missionaries), but the population began to even out so that by the last year I attended (I think 2010 or 2011), it was about 50-50 Koreans to non-Koreans. It probably varied some year to year too.

One of the obstacles I faced as a non-Korean and non-American attending the YDC was that many of the students already knew each other and were already friends, which made it a little bit hard to “be accepted” into their group. Of course, some were very welcoming.

Regarding speaking with an accent, you’ve got a +1 from me. If I visited home, my relatives asked me, “Why are you speaking so weird?” I guess that when you spend so much time together, sounding the same becomes inevitable. The most striking distinction I’ve found now that I’ve left UBF is the unique way UBFers pray. To an ordinary Christian in Canada, it sounds very different.

In 2003 I was in Korea and saw a group of second gens from Europe. There were about 60+ Korean sec.gens and the only one European teenager. He looked not so happy. At the moment I thought about my children. Do I want my children to be in ubf and participate in ubf programs for second gens?

By now my children have participated in some youth events in the Baptist local churches. The youth there is very independant and free. They meet and pray and evangelize together and study the Bible, but mostly they, as they call it, “communicate”. My children are just happy and WANT to be in the church every day (if that would be possible). There were no chance for my children to experience anything like this in ubf (even in the future).(I remember how once my daughter told me she was sure we wanted her to marry a Korean in ubf when she grows up! That was a shock for me. I had never thought that we became so Korean oriented and Korean-like. Though when fishing I heard from students”Are you a foreigner?” many times for I developed a steady Korean accent)

If ubf is a Korean church it is nice and normal for it to serve Koreans in any country. (And then it is nice for Koreans to reform or change their organisation the way they like) But if it is an international organisation, how comfortable is it for e.g. N American youth? In my church now they say there is a great need for Russian speaking leaders to serve in North America. But nobody says the leaders are going to serve(or focus in) N Americans. They are going to serve mostly the many Russian speaking people in the US and Canada. It seems very healthy to me.

At this stage of the game, A views any critique by B as malice. While B cannot impose her will on A to come clean with UBF’s history of abuses, then all B can do is to press on in charity, regardless of how often A will insist that it is malice, negative, unforgiving, discouraging, bashing, not being “unforgetful,” etc.

Random reflection that I wanted to share that is spilling out of me into cyberspace: Is it possible to pursue change too quickly that it causes a major rift or division? Is it possible to pursue change too slowly that it likewise causes a major rift or division? Or is there such a thing as having the courage to accept the possibility of a temporary division in order to reach for a greater, long-term unity (greater good)? I’m not advocating any of this…just wondering with great trouble of heart. I mean, I was just reflecting over the movie Lincoln and the fact that he achieved unity and a higher goal–but only after a fierce period of division. The final moments of the movie where it shows his 2nd Inaugural Address have haunted me ever since.

Abraham Lincoln (as re-interpreted by John Y): “The Almighty has his own purposes. ‘Woe unto the world because of offenses! for it must needs be that offenses come; but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh.’ If we shall suppose that [something deeply troubling in UBF] is one of those offenses which, in the providence of God, must needs come, but which, having continued through his appointed time, he now wills to remove, and that he gives to both [UBF-A] and [UBF-B] this terrible war, as the woe due to those by whom the offense came, shall we discern therein any departure from those divine attributes which the believers in a living God always ascribe to him? Fondly do we hope—fervently do we pray—that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the [UBF spiritual heritage] … of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said, ‘The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.’ With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up [UBF A & B’s] wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan—to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves, and with all nations.”

Lincoln’s vision of love at the end of this address deeply resonates within my soul these days. Wonderful phrases: “Malice toward none; with charity for all” “Firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right” “Cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves”

Lord, bring us there on eagle’s wings, because we’ve all grown very tired and weary. All of us desperately need our strength renewed, and our spirits encouraged. Lord, you said that if we put our hope in the Lord, we will renew our strength and soar with wings as eagles. Lord, you and you alone are my true hope. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

When our kids were little we watched The Aristocats:
the young dog says: “Let’s Go”
the old dog says: “I’m the Leader…Let’s Go!”

so regardless of who says it: Let’s Go with the Holy Spirit & see what God can do!

Thanks, John (Martin). Your sentiment about YDC/Well is exactly the kind of very disturbing top/down control and unilateral decision making that, as you said, is “quenching” what the Holy Spirit is doing.

It’s like the wind is blowing wherever it pleases (Jn 3:8). God is doing what pleases Himself (Ps 115:3; 135:6). But some senior UBF leaders think they know better and (ab)use their positions of seniority to get done what they want.

Decisions/changes only require timely prayer & effort to soundly understand & apply Godly principles based on His word & Spirit guidance. We may not get it perfectly but surely God will guide/refine seekers. Anything else is trying to please ourselves in ‘Good Ole Boy Networks’, which incorporate man’s corrupt motives & can take forever.

“To youth-inize the church, Baby Boomer senior leaders must be not only willing to die to their primary positions of security and authority but must relish the anticipation of new horizons. They must reinvent themselves much as a healthy grandparent should take pleasure in their changing role in the extended family. It is time for our generation to be as courageous and radical as we once were in the days that we first signed up for this movement. The question remains and must be asked: can we do it or maybe more importantly, are we willing to do it?”