I am not going to pretend to understand the issues in Ukraine, but let’s pray for all Ukrainians and especially our Ukrainian friends. I am encouraged by the Orthodox priest story in this.

One of my favorite passages of the Bible is Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. There is a time/season for different actions. I agree with you that it is important to follow the Holy Spirit, not a program. Ab Lincoln supposedly said, “I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.” But I personally am trying to apply the “give more, expect less” principle in my relationships. As you said it can become a way to self-righteousness and it’s good to keep that in mind.

As a teacher, I also know the importance of expectations. Without them students fail unecessarily. And as you say, a lack of accountability is a problem; it creates monsters. Look at the long list of totalitarian dictators in the past. The 100/0 principle is not the gospel. The author wrote the book for businesses to make more money and employers to move up the corporate ladder. But there is a degree to which it is applicable. And I believe it does help improve family and business relationships. Relationships are tricky things.

This reminds me of what we did for many years. I changed jobs 19 times, moved addresses 12 times. Each time I thought “This time I will just wipe the slate clean! This time I will start all over and get everything right!” But it always fell apart.

Now I am leaning to just live in the muck, to love messy conversations, the awkward encounters, to work through the cringe-worthy obstacles and to run through the brushes and the briar outside the nice clean camp. And it is there, in the muck and the miar that I find the effervescent joy and surpassing glory and surpassing greatness and surpassing grace and living hope and new wine and love that the Holy Scriptures speak clearly about.

Ironically, I found that when you reject Christianity, you find Christ.

You asked — “Goliath can huff and puff and sulk and pout, but in the end truth will be self-evident. Who will be left with their head on?”

I would ask– “Do we know?” I view any and all principles with a healthy dose of skepticism, especially when a principle is presented as the de facto standard of conduct. I don’t reject absolute truth, I just question how we arrive as such truth.

For example, the modern axim was “The early bird gets the worm”. Well is that true? No not always. The post-modern axim is also truth: “The second mouse gets the cheese.” So combining these two truth statements, I find the wisdom of “Be disciplined but adopt to changing situations.” So it is not always wise to be early. This is a fascinating lesson portrayed marvelously in the recent movie “The Croods“.

So I don’t think the “truth” is ever self-evident. We must consider multiple perspectives and respect the unique perspective each and every human being brings to the table.

So MJ your perspective your bring to ubfriends with this article is helpful. Surely we must all pause and consider whether we are expecting too much from other people or from an organization. Your perspective sheds some light on my perspective, but does not invalidate my perspective. And the reverse is true also. My perspective gives you some light, but in no way invalidates what you perceive.

There are times when it is good and proper to be the Goliath. Other times it is wise to be the David. The Jesus-thing is to find when to be which so that God is glorified.

“What do you think of the 100/0 principle?”

I’m not a fan at the moment. Perhaps if I read the book, but based on this article, I’m skeptical. If we say “100/0″… to take 100% of responsibility for the relationship and have 0% expectations from the other half… then where does accountability fit in? Too many expectations are problematic, but so are zero expectations just as problematic. And the hidden assumption I hear is that the best thing is always a restoration of relationship. I’m not convinced that restoration of relationship is always the best thing, just as Samuel never met with Saul again yet mourned for Saul, there are times when we must part ways.

I agree that we should be more concerned, in general, with “what” is right rather than “who” is right. But to find this elusive “what” is right, shouldn’t we gather many perspectives? We see dimly when we see together, but often we see not at all when we look by ourselves alone.

In regard to God’s grace, surely such grace is God’s 100% one-sided love for us. But are there no expectations? Does love have no requirements? Surely love is kind and keeps no record wrongs, but does not love hold the expectation of freedom, conscience and understanding?

How would we act if everyone started using this “100/0” principle? Wouldn’t we all be full of flattery and superficial encounters?

In the UBF context, some shepherds and missionaries serve their sheep expecting that they should be loyal to UBF for this life and the next. This has created countless problems.

In the UBFriends context, some of us hold UBF 100% responsible to answer, respond, acknowledge evils and wrongdoing to all the charges raised against them.

I’m not saying this is easy. I’m also not saying that it will be done. But the 100/0 principal might be useful when both hardline UBFers and hardline exUBFers apply it primarily to ourselves, since no one can truly change anyone else.