For example, being family-centered is still just as “bad” at ubf now as it was in 1961.

“Before Bible study, he was full of fear and stress because of his future. He also had a strong family centered heart and mentality. However, God encouraged him to challenge his academic courses so that he got all “A’s” last fall. He has been president of our student organization on campus.”

Source: Report from Baltimore UBF, March 27, 2014

So it is probably true that no one is “defeating family-centered mentality” like SL did in requiring some missionary candidates to have abortions in order to qualify as “mission-centered” missionaries.

But being “family-centered” is still a great sin at ubf. Therefore, my first chapter of my 7th book addresses this marriage hogwash. New ubf recruits simply must ask about marriage right away from the first Bible study and find out if they agree with the flawed ubf teachings about marriage.

Some chapters very likely still impose this rather rigid archaic pattern upon their single people. But since UBF is rather diverse, perhaps more and more chapters, leaders, shepherds, and especially 2nd gens are deviating rather significantly from this half century paradigm and model.

In my opinion these 3 steps are unsustainable, if not downright unhealthy for those who follow this “blindly by the book/law.”

To “feed sheep” at the expense of “spending quality time with your children” is bad parenting with some sad and highly preventable results.

This just came to mind with “marriage by faith.” It seems that some singles have developed an (over) dependency of waiting for their shepherds to find them a spouse. Thus, some seem frozen to take practical initiatives to prayerfully find a mate for themselves.

Moreover, as a teacher by profession, I can say that teaching is a selfless job. If you’re trying to prove something, earn a lot of money or recognition, then you are in the wrong profession and your students will suffer because of it. Codependent relationships have become harmful because in some circumstances the teacher needs the students to feel needed and valued in life. The shepherd needs the sheep to validate their Christianity. In these circumstances the love becomes need love instead of gift love. Basically, what I want to say is it takes a lot of maturity to be a teacher. (James 3:1)You have to be at a healthy place where you can give instead of take. And the focus of teaching is the students, not whether the teacher looks good or not.

When my wife and I started attending our non-ubf church, we were shocked at how uninvolved/uncontroling they were of their older members. Isn’t it amazing what you start to see the more you connect with actual Christian churches?

“But they trusted that as Christians the Holy Spirit was guiding us. Amazing concept.”

Amazing concept indeed. I suspect many misunderstand my intentions with my blogs and books and discussions. My aim is not to attack ubf or destroy ubf. My aim is to open the back door of ubf so people can connect with authentic Christianity, such as C.S. Lewis, Christian pastors, Bonhoeffer, Spurgeon, etc etc. and most of all: bring KOPAHN into the light of public scrutiny.

If possible, every conversation I have with ubf people ends with a discussion about this question: What is the gospel Jesus preached?

I think this is one of those things where when you’re in the middle of a codependent relationship you don’t think you are, but only after you come out of it you realize what an unhealthy relationship it was. I have no doubt this Bible teacher had good intentions, but when I think now about some of the things she said to me during our Bible studies, I can’t believe I stayed for as long as I did. Of course, I stayed because I assumed the problem was with me. I was too selfish, money-centered, etc., etc. I grew up with the idea that the shepherd is right because God is using the shepherd to speak to you. Sure, God uses people, so there’s some truth in that statement, but in UBF I feel like we elevated that to a point as though to say there is no way the shepherd can ever be wrong because God is sovereign over their leadership over you. Wow.

I remember when I first started going to my current non-UBF church, I was shocked at how uninvolved/uncontrolling they were of their “younger members.” When I started dating my now-husband, no one was trying to control our relationship. Our close friends and mentors would ask how things were going, but it wasn’t in the “are you sure you’re not sinning??” kind of way. How is this possible?? I remember wondering if they should be prodding more than they are and if there was something wrong. But they trusted that as Christians the Holy Spirit was guiding us. Amazing concept.

You asked some questions:

“Have you experienced good teachers who make themselves unneeded?”

I am experiencing that now at my workplace. I wrote about this elsewhere, but part of this has to do with orientation. In my jobs, I went through an orientation period. But then the orientation stopped and I did my job. The orientation was no longer needed.

In contrast, KOPAHN theology requires a constant cycle of re-orientation. Every conference becomes a CME moment for “continuous mission education”. The hamster wheel has to keep turning otherwise KOPAHN falls apart, as we saw in Toledo, Yekaturinburg, India, Taiwan and several small 1 family house church chapters in recent years. Sadly, the wheel keeps spinning back up, the ugly cycle starting all over again.

So regardless of how good or bad individual shepherds are at ubf, they are entrapped by the continual re-orientation needs of KOPAHN theology.

“Or have you experienced needy teachers who make you feel as though you cannot succeed without them?”

Yes as everyone knows already I was the lucky one who got to experience one of the hardcore shepherds at ubf who has narcissistic personality disorder. Surely not all ubf shepherds are narcissistic, but many of the top leaders are.

Something that needs to be said here is something that Chris pointed out sometime. KOPAHN has a self-perpetuating element to it. So Ben I would not be surprised if some ubfers claim to like your quote. The peer pressure created by sogam sharing is one example. A ubf shepherd will tend to create a co-dependency type relationship (due to KOPAHN theology) but will also seek to have the sheep regurgitate KOPAHN on his/her own.

“Man approaches God most nearly when he is in one sense least like God. For what can be more unlike than fullness and need, sovereignty and humility, righteousness and penitence, limitless power and a cry for help.”
Cs Lewis goes on to use an analogy. He says that if someone takes a path to get from point a to b, they might at some points be absolutely closer to b, but they progress on the path the whole time. This makes the problem of evil vanish as well. This shows how God can be glorified even (and I say so trembling)in our sin. Because all things work for the glory of God, John and Judas alike. They only question we have to answer is if we will call upon the name of the lord and be saved.