Lack of accountability and plurality is indeed the major issue of unbiblical shepherding models and the root of most problems.

In the past, UBF had only a single leader for each chapter, and a single general director. A board of elders or board of directors did not exist or existed only on paper, but never held directors accountable or made collective decisions.

I also observed that the total lack of accountability of leaders always go hand in hand with a excess of demanded accountability of members. For instance, in our chapter members needed to give account of their 1:1 studies and fishing efforts every week. Sogam sharing sessions were another way of holding members accountable. The fact that the leaders did not share their sogams in these meetings shows how this imbalance. In a healthy group, everybody should be held accountable, but leaders more so than ordinary members, not the other way around.

I really dislike the titles because it stratifies believers with an arbitrary standard that is not based in church tradition. I might be hypocritical, because I see no problem with Catholic titles, probably because the titles involve something beyond “doing what other people tell you to do”.

http://youtu.be/7N9EsbMsD9k

His teaching about accountability and plurality in church leadership resonated with me and present issues in UBF which leaders don’t seem willing to address, as mentioned above. He also speaks about institutional unity vs unity by the Spirit in movements that become denominations and show signs of moral decay due to lacking right apostolic teaching.

The titles are now:

-director automatically became “pastor”
-fellowship leader automatically became “elder”
-shepherd automatically became “bible teacher”

Some of the “mother of prayer” or “abraham of faith” or “ancestor” or “shepherdess” titles seem to have been used much less frequently.

This is an attempt to masquerade publicly as a Christian organization instead of addressing the cultic issues that are still present.

Has this changed, and “pastor” is a usual term in UBF now, or is this only in your chapter, or your personal way of naming him? Also, if you say “my pastor”, do you mean the head of your congregation (which is the normal usage of the word) or do you mean your personal shepherd (since pastor = shepherd actually)?

Interesting choice of words.

Dialogue outside the bubble IS possible. But they refuse to do it. They refuse to talk about much of anything unless it is on their turf, on their terms, inside the narrow box defined and controlled by them.

Cult red flag #1 – discouraging any non-group material or criticism of group thinking.

On my part, as a concession, I will attempt to enter the bubble on occasion (which at this point is on the terms of leadership), without caving in to the bubble’s demands and expectations. As you have already experienced innumerable times, this really feels like dying, since it never seems to go anywhere, at least not on the basis of my expectation.

I haven’t heard this expressed. The first time I found this site I mentioned it to my pastor but he didn’t say anything for or against it, just that he would read the article I mentioned. I vividly remember someone else’s interaction though
“Hey I found this article on a site called UBfriends about something called marriage by faith.”
“Oh boy…”

I will no longer enter their bubble to talk to them, because I have found it goes nowhere. The communication that needs to take place simply does not exist within their bubble. If they want to talk to me, they will have to step outside into the real world. But I won’t hold my breath waiting for that to happen. I predict they will continue to stay inside the bubble for as long as they possibly can.

A very strong dualistic binary sentiment regarding this site by some may be something like this: “If you want to use your time well and serve God, don’t read UBFriends, which is full of negativity and criticism, and which discourages new Bible students and cause them to quite Bible study.” I can’t count how many times I have heard this articulated in various ways.

Till a few years ago I did not realize how such binary thinking has produced some very unpleasant, condemning, narrow-minded, exclusive, elitist, and sectarian human beings, Christian or not.

Enns article, quoting Rohr, is great. Thanks. Hopefully, more and more Christians may understand his opening paragraph:

“As long as you can deal with life in universal abstractions, you can pretend that the usual binary way of thinking is true, but once you deal with a specific or concrete reality, it is always, without exception a mixture of darkness and light, death and life, good and bad, attractive and unattractive.”

Read more: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/peterenns/2014/08/faith-is-messy-which-is-where-god-is-found/#ixzz3AkXhb2vY

“SL was a man who forced you to be for or against him. There was no middle ground. His teachings are black and white, for and against, yin and yang, North and South type teachings.”

I have already shared my perspectives on SL and won’t rehash them here. Brian’s comment reminds me of a great little article on binary thinking, and how it can be the very opposite of faith.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/peterenns/2014/08/faith-is-messy-which-is-where-god-is-found/

I know that you were hyperbolizing when you said people believe that Samuel Lee was either the worst or the best man on earth. I’m sure you agree that in reality nobody thinks so extreme. Personally, since I have studied many cults and abusive churches, I know that there were far worse church and cult leaders. There are also much larger groups and movements with much more influence, UBF is really only a small fringe group that should not be taken so important (it’s just of personal importance for me since I spent too many years there). Personally, I do not “demonize” Lee nor do I think other critics do. So I believe it’s not helpful to repeat such claims that Samuel Lee was the “worst” or “best” man on earth. We just say that he had done (inside his small pond UBF that he and his followers believed ot be the whole ocean) many horrible things in a position of authority and UBF should repent for allowing him to do these things over decades, covering it up or denying it, and even expelling people who started speaking about it. There should be clear admittance of guilt, particularly guilt of leadership in all of this, rehabilitation of former critics – because their criticism was valid and legitimate, renouncement from unbiblical doctrines amd cult-like practices, and repentance. Then reconciliation and change can and will happen.

When we know we have done injustice, we need to hurry to repent and reconcile, since we do not know how much time we left. I really don’t understand why you keep twisting and blurring such simple Biblical truth and tell people that things must go slowly and gradual change without repentance and confession should be the acceptable way of dealing with sin in a Christian ministry.

God does not want gradual change. He wants repentance of the heart. Just read Rev 2 and 3 – it does not talk about gradual change, it talks about one thing only, that is repentance. Confession and repentance both belong together. Where is the confession of guilt of UBF?

The Bible says “If we confess our sins” not “if we change gradually” – “he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Do not thank God for “gradual change” without clear confession because that’s not what God wants.

SL was a man who forced you to be for or against him. There was no middle ground. His teachings are black and white, for and against, yin and yang, North and South type teachings.

The majority of people feared him, due to his ability to instantly switch from laughing to severe rebuke in all seriousness. Most people could not share their honest feelings around him. Most people were like the people in this picture with another Korean man: bad timing photo.

Sometimes, Ben, you remind me of the army general standing next to the family in that photo.

Though I regarded Lee as my friend who served me in many ways for which I am eternal thankful and grateful, I have to say that I was NOT a good friend in return. There were things he said and did that were not good, but I kept my mouth shut and did not speak up.

I understand, as many of you do, that Lee did not create a culture of openness and transparency, nor did he welcome his authority ever being questioned or challenged. Nonetheless, on my part, I lacked b_lls to speak up and question some of the things that were said and done, which were unhealthy, if not unbiblical. All ubf leaders, I believe, including and especially myself, are guilty in this regard.

Today, however, I believe the ubf culture is very gradually changing and moving toward one of greater equality, fairness, openness, transparency, dialogue and justice. It may not be moving as rapidly as many would hope, including myself. But as Carl Jung interestingly wrote, “Hurry is not of the devil; hurry is the devil.”

Nonetheless, I sense that gradually more and more people are beginning to speak up and question the status quo, whereas in the past, like me, many were simply dead silent and totally fearful and afraid to speak up. Thank God for this gradual change.

It is quite interesting that you equate SL with your adoptive mother.

I practically literally met SL several times a week every week, several hours each time, for the last 22 years of his life from 1980 to 2002.

I understand that he said some horrible things and made some horrible decisions (some of which I personally observed), which anyone who does a google search can find recorded online somewhere, most of which I have read.

As a result, some people are quite angry and incensed because I state unashamedly that he was my friend and mentor.

I see the good and the bad in SL. I believe that he loved Jesus and invested his life for Christ and the gospel, which was unfortunately confined mostly to the world of UBF (and not to the church universal). To put it bluntly, he was very much sectarian, which has shaped UBF to this very day.

To shamefully plug my own post, I still think today that what I wrote about Lee over 3 years ago still stands: http://www.ubfriends.org/2011/01/03/why-samuel-lee-was-deified-and-demonized/

It is so interesting that many Christians outside UBF think I wrote a fair and balanced article about SL, while some or many older UBF lifers regard it as “slamming my shepherd” and as “UBF bashing.” Go figure!