A couple thoughts on these things…

1) I worked behind the scenes, along with my wife, in many financial matters. For local conferences, we actually helped set the price year after year. And we often helped coordinate the practical preparations with the various camping sites for the conferences. I would be the first to say if the local conferences were taking advantage of the registration, but I cannot say that. In our region, the registration money worked out very closely to actual cost. Sometimes there was a small amount leftover, such as about 1%. That money was then used for the next conference. There was no profit from these.

2) I also worked behind the scenes at the international conferences. On paper those appeared to work like the local conferences. But there was always a big mystery at those larger conferences–who actually attended? For many years I helped create and run the database/registration software for those big conferences. HQ actually paid me to create the prototype software they currently have (the prototype later turned into a professional company) and to train the team of registration workers. So I don’t know about profit at the big conference level, but I do know the databases for ISU, MSU, etc. all had many fake names. I also know that leaders often paid for numerous “sheep” who never ended up attending, spending at times over $1,000 for fake attendants.

3) The big money comes from offerings–weekly, special, first-fruits–all kinds of offerings that about to about $2 million per year. They spend most of that but have gained over $13 million in reserves. This is small actually, compared to other campus ministries, one of which has over $250 million. IVF has $53 million in reserves (per ECFA).

4) The main financial abuse comes after marriage-by-faith, when families (i.e. house churches) are pressured into all kinds of unwise financial decisions for the “sake of God’s glory”.

We can conclude that these UBF traditions were invented by Samuel Lee in Korea, and then copied by other chapter directors.

One evidence is a decline in offering and assets. The new 2014 numbers are published on the ECFA website: UBF financial report

Will anyone at ubf report on the EARTH SHATTERING news? For the FIRST TIME since financial records were kept (2007) and likely the FIRST TIME in its 50+ year history, the total monetary value of ubf DECREASED.

They are still worth over $13 million. But a decrease has never happened as far as we know.

It will definitely be denied, but this is sadly the kind of reward punishment scheme to get you to conform to their expectations of you and to get you to submit to their man made rules. If you do what they expect of you, you get a whole ton of perks. If you don’t, then this is the kind of stuff one sadly experiences.

It is all to similar to Chris having his bride-to-be hidden away one week before the wedding, and having his wedding, which is already set, threatened to be cancelled. No one will ever dare do this today, but this same sort of sad shenanigans continues to rear its ugly head in one form or another.

Don’t be disheartened. Don’t be angry. Don’t flinch. Stand your ground. Be joyful. God is good. This is often God’s way of helping you to love and trust and fear God, not man (Prov 29:25).

Part Three: After marriage

Part Four: Phd Study

After you graduate from all of those you get to write for the rest of your life:

Part One thanks giving and prayer topics, Part Two the work of God in our ministry, Part Three, repent of worldy seeking and serve campus mission!

I still remember how they pressured me to deliver my life testimony on a large European conference. They knew exactly: Once I did that, they had caught me forever. Finally I gave in (all the time not thinking much about UBF, but only about God and my life). Then when you get all the applause, and you have made a commitment in front of so many people, you get immediate affirmation through applause and congratulation. Now you can’t step back anymore. You need to proof to others (and mostly, yourself!) that you were serious. My chapter director exploited this when he approached me only minutes after sharing my life testimony asking me to give up my own apartment and join a UBF common life apartment. He knew exactly that at this moment, nobody could say “no” or “I need to think about it.” So this was the moment when I was trapped in UBF, the watershed point in time between the love bombing phase that has only this one goal to get you there, and the guilt-tripped hamster-wheel life after that, that can take years or forever until you understand the deception and see the light and get out.

In my case I did truly live a godless life before coming to faith in UBF. But to state the obvious, the major flaw with what forests wrote above is that it is never ever the church (ubf) that gives one Christ, but the work of the Holy Spirit. To champion ubf as the pivot focal point of one’s life journey is to call attention to ubf and to give all glory to ubf, instead of to the work of the Holy Spirit.

By God’s grace, future editors of life testimonies at all ubf conferences may let each person tell their story with their own unique flavor, instead of the formulaic Part 1: Before UBF and Part 2: After UBF.

You three just explained why I call ubf the “identity snatchers”.

The take your identity and break you and then form the “shepherd X” identity. Dr. Hassan calls this the cult self. He describes the methods another Korean group uses and they are the same as ubf’s techniques.

The zinger came at the end. So often the students confessed the same “decision of faith” to be a shepherd and 1:1 Bible teacher for campus mission. After years of hearing it, writing it, and impressing it on others, I could see how it was at times a fabrication and pressure from UBF and not really the work of God in their lives. So, I began ask them, “Is this your idea? Or did somebody here suggest it?” Their answer would determine if their “decision” would remain in the final draft or not. Another common “decision” was leaving loved ones or things, either family or a boy or girl friend or a job–something that takes up your devotion, hope or love. It was upsetting to see what was going on and how people were being manipulated.

I first shared my life testimony at a UBF conference when I was eighteen. OF course, I was unaware of how it had been written to fit the pre-UBF story and present-UBF “decisions” for devotion and campus mission. At that time, my “main life problem” and sin were focused on and solved after coming to UBF. But it wasn’t exactly true. My catholic upbringing was also not important for my life story, apparently.

When I attended a New Years Conference in Korea, I was asked to write my life testimony. The actual expectations for it were never made clear. I struggled hard and hard and the only feedback I got was, make it shorter. No explanation, no description.

In the end, David Kim completely rewrote it into the grand ole ubf opry. It was basically the same, but different. I am sad now that I didn’t stand up to the whole thing.

Now, someone could’ve said, please make it simpler so we can translate to English. Oh, thanks! I could have made the vocab simpler on my own. But in the end, that was the excuse. Skip the details, get on to the UBF part.

Forests, your life testimony is awesome and uplifting. Put a mental post it note in your head that says the person who was trying to change it is not really to be trusted, imo.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/jesuscreed/2015/02/26/the-churchs-struggle-with-utopia/

What your church (and every church) needs is a culture of Wisdom.

I experience the oppression at work also, so I suppose the Lord is moving to crush oppression in the workplace as well as in government/etc

the leader & complicit groupees become captive to the roles they play in the bigger than life drama (like pharaoh feels self to be “the rising sun” in ten commandments)

reminds me of NIV 2Th2 10c-11 “They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie.”

last sunday the message had some excellent parts about passover celebration related to Jesus’ Last Supper, however the usual grumbling about grumblers so intensified to coerce judases back into line (like stop betraying your benefactors);

it really is thick/heavy oppression; fortunately the Lord finally helped me after all these years/Holy Spirit seeking to happily deflect it to prove His freedom thru Christ alone;

but I cringed thinking what if our college age kids had been there to be damaged-potentially crushed? what about young (& old) people sitting there getting lambasted; for what?-godless delusion of importance? no thanks: yes I was captive in the past (in UBF & even before in Catholic; but thanks be to God for the Lord Jesus Christ’s powerful decimation of catastrophic bondage);

yes such speakers/leaders are still captive to the transient utopian feeling of elite oneness, but I pray Holy Spirit decimation of their delusion of grandeur so they stop being wounding machines & regain normal life, with use of gifts for God’s glory alone; yes it is a spiritual battle against delusion & requires Spirit reprogramming

actually in seriousness it is a fantasized existence of great bible status like figure of old testament: almost like play where actors start living the role/feeling alive only in the intended drama (could make a movie about people making play but end up compelled to live role in real life): also explains the intense role/image defending mechanisms that develop (people actually feel threatened to lose the world/role they developed; come to think of it this explains a whole lot of lifestyles people develop, religious or otherwise such as political figures with bigger than life personalities..)

First, you need to really start to understand how UBF looked like under the regime of Samuel Lee and the chapter directors who were imitating him. It was like a prison of the mind. Everything was very intense, and we all were brainwashed trough this intense program all day and sometimes even all night. We feared our general director and the chapter director as “the servant of God”, as “God’s visible representative” as they liked to call themselves. If they gave us “direction,” it was like a command of God, and if they disapproved of us, that meant God had abandoned us. UBF was both our calling and the kingdom of God. Being kicked out of UBF or leaving UBF on our own meant leaving God, leaving our calling, leaving paradise, and waiting only for eternal condemnation, we could just kill ourselves. Some also believed if they ever leave UBF, God would punish them with deathly illness on this earth already – Samuel Lee himself preached things like that, very explicitly. We had no freedom at all. We could not choose where to work, with whom to hang out, whom to marry, we could not have any vacation or time off, we needed to attend every meeting, every week, every day, on the weekend several times a day. We could not even decide how to deliver our own sermons and sogams. Everything was regimented. And then we also had to bring fruit. If we could not serve 12 or at least 4 sheep, this meant we failed, and we needed to feel guilty. Before marriage, we could not spend time with our parents, other family members or friends. After marriage, we could not spend time with our own spouse or kids. Some of us lived in this prison for decades.

Please compare that to your own situation and your own state of mind. You seem to be a pretty free person, you do what you want. You’re in UBF, and then you’re out, hopping around freely. I bet you can’t understand what living with a captive mind and soul for decades means. In fact this “ignorance” is excusable to a certain degree. I always believed I would be the last person who could end up in a cult, until suddenly I found myself trapped in one. It’s so strange, and people seem so silly to voluntarily live like that. But the manipulation was strong and had that power over us. Only if you experienced it, you can understand it. I guess you’re still young and a 2nd gen. Just speculating, maybe you can confirm; also you said you know me?

I have a theory, perhaps it’s wrong, but I believe that the 2nd gens are not as brainwashed as we “1st gen shepherds.” And I see two reasons for this: First, it needs a certain personality type that can be easily brainwashed. Usually the introvert, sincere, diligent, scrupulous, shy, introvert, insecure people (like me) are easier to brainwash into obedience. Second, the people must be caught at the right time, when they are open to manipulation, e.g. when they are in a life crisis (in retrospect, this was exactly the moment when UBF caught me). When UBF “fishes” at the university, the students of this type in this situation get caught in their nets. However, the children of members are not “fished” like that. They are simply there and have different personality types. So they are not necessarily prone to brainwashing and manipulation to begin with. They learn to adapt, learn to live a double life, one in school with their friends, another one in the UBF center. They start to not take things so seriously, they start to learn patterns to appear obedient but still have freedom. Thirdly, the manipulation works by alternating the love-bombing in the beginning with the threat of love deprivation and losing your salvation if you don’t obey, perform and conform. However, most UBF parents would not threaten their own children like that. The UBF children know that they can do anything, their parents would still love and not expulse them – contrary to what they can easily do with other UBF members (in fact I remember how the wife of my chapter director simply expelled some of her “sheep” when they did not “grow” – which caused a serious trauma for them). So these are the reasons why I think 2nd gens are different in their state of mind – they are much more free, but also sometimes much more superficial and careless. It must be very, very difficult for a free 21st century 2nd gen to understand the state of mind in which UBF members have been held captive in the last century. But you should at least try. Please try to understand, UBF was not an ordinary church or ministry, it was much more intense, it penetrated so very deeply into the minds and souls of its members. It took away all of their golden years, their youth, the time in which people should have a romantic relationship, the quality family time when their kids were young, the time when we they should have made career and developed and used their talents apart from sitting on folding chairs. It sucked all their energy, hopes, dreams, time and money. In retrospect it was not even spiritual, and it did not even help other people in spiritual or other ways. Some of us wasted what could be 1/3 of our life time there. It is not something that you get easy over with. And the people you are meeting here are still the lucky ones who escaped and are gladly married – but there are also all those who are still caught in UBF, or who have been really thrown under the bus, whose arranged marriages were catastrophic failures, who committed suicide, who lost all faith in God and mankind etc.

Happypinky, are you still with me?

If I were Jesus, maybe I would use a parable to explain.

In this parable, UBF would be a prison, with the letters “work makes you free” engraved over the door, and we were former prisoners with long beards who vegetated in that prison for many years, doing meaningless labor like breaking stones all day, until we finally escaped through a tunnel that we started to dig with our fingers when we could not stand all the harsh punishments by the brutal and strict former prison director any more. He would beat us our punish prisoners when they asked for simple things like food with some vitamins instead of always only molded bread and water. Sometimes the director (who could go by a name like “Ahab”) would even order his staff to torture people in a secret chamber to make them docile. The prisoners hear them scream, but nobody dares to talk about it. Then one day the old prison director dies, and a new friendlier prison director takes his place. Slowly, under his regime and with the absence of the feared old director, things get better. The former prisoners who have grown old are glad to hear rumors that something changed in their old prison, but they’re not sure whether behind the nice façade there might be still some hidden torture chambers, used only by a few old prison officers who were not able to adapt to the new style. Also they’re not glad to see that there are still pictures of the old prison director in the entrance hall, even a bust has recently been set up with an inscription praising him for his achievements for the betterment of the country’s criminal population. And the letters “work makes you free” are still engraved over the entrance. The former prisoners share their experiences and try to hold the new officer and his staff accountable, to admit and apologize what happened in the past, to publicly denounce the ways of the old director, and issue a code of conduct for the staff. They also sometimes hang out in a tavern “the friendly prisoners’ alehouse” right across the street from their old prison, where they share their memories. Their former tormentors see them sitting there, they sometimes look through the windows but never come to apologize. One day the son of the new, friendlier director, who never experienced the old times and the screams from the torture chamber, enters into that tavern and sees them rambling and grumbling. He immediately starts yelling at them that he is tired to hear their perpetual nagging from the other side of the street. He goes on to praise the positive changes his father made in the past months. He tells them not to share bitter memories about that prison any more. He also tells them of his new ideas for the prison, e.g. that prisoners should be fed with some salad and healthy food once in a while, not only bread and water. One of the former prisoner sitting at the bar, with a long grey beard and scorbutic teeth, who was kept for over two decades in that dark prison, starts rolling his eyes. The young man says “Why are you rolling your eyes? Isn’t this a place for friendly prisoners? Why are you so cranny and unwelcoming? If you don’t like having me around, I will be leaving.”

How could this parable end? It’s up to us.

Joe, If I recall correctly, when I asked the question, you were thoughtful, even quizzical, because the uproar/shock/laughter in the room was only really seen by you and those on the panel. You tried to give a response but you were of course drowned out. I’m glad mother barry was concerned about the responses.

However, when I had private conversations with her regarding why I was leaving my chapter (she had called me and asked what was going on), I felt like I was talking to a different person and none of the issues were taken seriously. Again, I was encouraged to pray, trust in God to work through leaders, be humble, and be quiet. I may do those things, but it doesn’t mean to ignore the issues either. In fact, her email to me opened with a disclaimer that I should not publish the email in any form.

One of my greatest supporters in Toledo was MG’s wife, CG. She and I talked a lot about how we were all the “silent one’s”, bearing with all this abuse for decades. And now God chose us to be the most vocal one’s.

How many people know who left, by the way? Maybe we can start a list. Here is mine from Toledo ubf from 1989 to 2015:

Kims (James and Rebecah)
Gambers
Rickers
Nolans ** THE “ubf ancestor of faith for USA”
Wilsons
Belchers
Messers
Pauls (all but JP/SP)
Lewis (JL/LL sent to Columbus)
Zienteks
Prices
Tarrants
Horvaths
Karchers ** in Detroit when leaving
Prebbles ** in Canada when leaving
Francis’s
Muehlings
Ellis’s
Roths
Ohashis
Kims (not Akron, different Kims)

The are all Christian FAMILIES representing well over 300 YEARS and tens of thousands of dollars of devotion to the kingdom of God and to the ubf cause. There are also a long list of single student leaders too long to mention here, such as McKowen and Beech, and my old friend Beese.

If I missed some family, please add to this list. This is all from just ONE CHAPTER in ubf-land. These were all CHRISTIAN LEADERS and they all “married by faith”.

In each family’s case, yes you can find their sin. But the common thread of undue religious influence and spiritual abuse by ubf ideology and ubf Koreans is UNMISTAKABLE.

This example shows what staff conferences were often like for me. One frustration and embarrassment after another due to a lack of love for others.

Around this time as well, when I last saw MG (formerly of Toledo) at a staff conference, he was awkwardly embarrassed in front of an entire break out session. Without providing details, it was revealed that MG had sinned greatly and the director had kicked him out and not spoken a word to him. This was done all the while MG was still in the room. But through that training MG repented and came back and all was well. And that was the last time I saw him.

Ditto. All I can say is that is THE EXACT CONCLUSION I came to in April 2011, after sharing my first honest conference report in 24 years. The angry phone call I got two hours later sealed the deal for me. I was expected the rebuke in a day or two. The shocking thing was that it took less than 2 hours. I share all about this in my 3rd book, “Unexpected Christianity: The Penguin Narratives”.

ubf Koreans will do anything, including inviting guest speakers and people like our friend JA, as long as they do two things:

1) Demonstrate loyalty to at least one ubf authority figure
2) Promote (or not negate) the ubf spiritual heritage ideology

Do those 2 things, and you have got a golden Wonka ticket at ubf to do anything you want. Climb the ladder like I did and become a ubf directory and you can even get ubf insurance and many other protections, such as the covering up of your sins.

And that, my new ubfriend, is the problem.

“So what exactly is the point of this forum?”
> The point of this forum is just as we state in our purpose above: We aim to promote unity in the Body of Christ through dialogue. Unity is not the same thing as uniformity.

“Why is still called ubfriends? I’m a bit confused.”
> Thank you for sharing your honest feeling. You are feeling confused after reading and commenting here. That’s ok. We are not here to provide clear answers to every issue. We are here to share, to listen and to learn, and probably many of us are here for many other reasons. The point is we are friends. We do not conform each other to our own agendas. Yes there are strong opinions here. Ben, Joe and I differ greatly on various points. But we value friendship and relational unity above our differences. And we are friends to ubf people–friends who are not afraid to share our honest thoughts.

“From what I understand, is it for sharing only bitterness, which I don’t minimize or deny?”
> No, this site is not for only sharing bitterness. But bitterness can be shared here. Right now, Joe has the microphone. At one point Ben had it. At another point I had it. Forests had the mic at one point, and so did other ubfriends. If you want the mic, just submit an article and chime in. We appreciate your input and do not deny the good things you mention. We just want to make space for anyone who wishes to comment. We are not a ministry or even an organization. Heck, we don’t even have a publication review board :) We are just three guys and a blog, welcoming whomever wants to share.

“Should I only post bitter issues, and not positive as not provoke members any further?”
> We think you should post what your conscience dictates. If you want to defend ubf, go ahead. If you want to criticize ubf or ubfriends, go ahead. It is an open-mic here. But that goes both ways. The only “admin” function we serve here is to remove OCD chit-chats from time to time and to ensure this stays an open-mic. If someone does not like the tone or content here, submit articles and comment.

I found that the group Bible study and testimony sharing times were good times to question directors and find out what was going on in a chapter.

I don’t even know how to comment, add to, or subtract from this!

In my case, the person who refers to themself as my spiritual father (and still does) recently told me that throughout the decade that I’ve known him, his aim was never to understand me as a person or understand my outlook on ministry and that furthermore, protecting his identity as a UBF missionary is far more important to him than having an honest and vulnerable dialogue with me. How do you wrap your mind around such a thing? Furthermore, how do you cope with the fact that no one in your church community will give ear when you attempt to explain your angst and pain over things like this? This forum is a place where people can come to discuss that kind of pain and disillusionment. The surface changes of the ministry have failed to suffice and edify and the real, core issues need to be discussed. We need a forum where we can work through legitimate pain rather than being demonized for expressing it. And you’d be surprised how many leaders would comment here if they were no longer interested in saving face. I’ll conclude by saying that if you are not interested in loving others through listening, then perhaps this forum is not for you.

I too have found this to be true at my own campus. A couple of years ago I sent out a survey to our members to gather suggestions for how we might improve our Friday meeting. Sadly, the response I got from the other leaders at my campus was that the Friday meeting was perfect, and that the problem was with the people, not the meeting. I took that to mean that they didn’t care about our members or their opinions, the very people we are supposed to be shepherding. Just a few months ago I also raised the issue about the fact that there were no students attending our Friday meeting, hoping that might quicken them to revisit this issue. I was shocked at their response. They said it was okay that no students attended, and that even if it took ten years before any students started coming, that was okay too.

That’s really disheartening, because as our campus coordinator, I want to do my best to build a student ministry that is actually conducive to students. I was also really surprised since UBF’s primary focus has traditionally been students. I wonder at times who we are actually serving, others or ourselves?

6. The bible studies I had with key staff were quite diverse, from topical to question by question, which I actually really enjoyed. I was not told to write deep and heart moving testimonies, but rather encouraged to write down some one page reflection of what I learned. And no, none of them ended with absolute obedience, MBF and etc indoctrination.

7. When I talked to native youth who’ve been there 2-3 years, they said, to my surprise, that ubf indeed wasn’t what I imagined what it would be in states.

8. These are some minor observations I had. When discussion got about future of ubf, one of key leaders seemed to be flexible with everything, but maintained that bible study should be something not sacrificed.

9. Having been to Korean ubf centers, I don’t think I could survive there long time, though. But Korean students, on a whole seemed to have good time. It seems that korean cru and navigators also have high opinions of ubf members too, which I found surprising.

10. Some old seniorites, tried to insist that MBF is the way and truth, but at the same time, other elderly, seemed very flexible and respected my potential choice to marry outside. I see the formers case as being reflective of korean traditions.

11. Having visited several ministries of different backgrounds, whet here korean missionary church in Europe, African missionaries, American missionaries, seems that everywhere there is too some degree of people not being able to let go of some of their cultures.
What I loved about certain chapters in USA, is the understanding that certain practices such as MBF are cultural, and toleration of different practices.
Overall, I was surprised by degree of cultural adjustment korean missionaries have made in the states. And I compliment them for that. As a korean, I don’t think I can go back and adjust to Korea in my age. I wouldn’t even try. Many misionaries tried in their 40 and 50, and for that I respect them.

12. As my friend said, when I was vocally critical of ubf last year, ubf is quite a very unique organization not in bad or good sense, because it is church where different cultures are trying to work together. Korean churches, I have visited outside of ubf, are very similar in style in terms of authority of pastor, pressure, matchmaking, hierarchy, and etc. but even in America different ethnic groups mainly serve their own ethnic groups, therefore, less of cultural clash occurs. Sometimes having worked with korean pastors in my region from other churches, I can say that ubf Koreans tend to be a lot more culturally adjusted, albeit with exceptions.

Over the course of this year, I grews less critical of ubf, and more appreciative. Maybe several years of being in diferent ministries, helped to concluded that wherever you are there always some massive problems that make you want to leave. Not that I justify what some ubf people have done.

Recently my friends pastor from other church had a huge fight with cru members, who pretty much stole his disciples even with agreement not to do so, just because he wanted to make up some reports that this and this many people came and receive his paycheck.

It’s interesting, how when I talk to christians from other churches and ministries, they all think their ministries are facing massive and colossal problems, and nothing is seeming to change for better and no one is seeming to do anything about it.

To be honest, I thought this forum was a place where those who want to change things for better could be encouraged and prayed for. But, I guess I was wrong. Seems like with trying suggest new ideas and thanking people for making me think and attempt to implement some things, I’m being called a stealer of ideas. This really does not want me to engage at all on this forum

So what exactly is the point of this forum? Why is still called ubfriends? I’m a bit confused.

From what I understand, is it for sharing only bitterness, which I don’t minimize or deny?

Should I only post bitter issues, and not positive as not provoke members any further? Just asking.

Those things happen after every reform/crisis event. I was recruited into ubf in 1987. The reform kicked off just after this and for several years, things appeared nice. But these niceties have historically been superficial appeasements with only one purpose in mind: lay low until the R-group criticisms blow over so that we can preserve our glorious heritage.

I don’t think I ever said I saw many changes in Chicah. But here are some things I’ve seen, during a short stay, in which case, my observations could be wrong.

1. Preachers at least the ones I sawdon’t preach in the classical style with interesting sounds and hand motions, but are rather got better at preaching styles.

2. The so called hardcore staff actually encouraged me to deliver report/message without reading, not because I insisted and defiled, but they found it more touching and moving.

3. No one frowned or couphed when I told about activities that are not usually practiced in ubf, not even elderly and hardcore, but I saw lots of smiles.(maybe this does not mean anything).

4. Some second gens, verified that MBF is understood to be broader, not just matchmaking but also extending to more liberal ways.

5. Sheperd don’t talk in a weird

Your words are salt in the wounds to me. ubf chews up people and spits out soylent green, and then gleefully says “thank you for helping us make better soylent green”.

You take the ideas all the outcast and excommunicated ubf leaders have been suggesting for decades, through each of the 4 reform/crisis events, and then go on living such wonderful lives. You stomp on former members, give us spiritual problems, and then say “see we are doing such good Christian work, and you are so bitter!”.

Remember soylent green

Thanks a lot for sharing the report (the one with the link, I’ve read good portion of it) I’ve read the 2010 report for the first time. I really sympathized with what is being said there.
I think your positive efforts are being counted by many youths in ubf as well as some elderly people, and I have begun to witness change in number of chapters including Chicago, with second gens, Shepherds, and even notable staff leaders (who were known to be hardcore) proposing the same ideas as you are, and many of the ideas being implemented. I think your job really resonates with youth, and we hope to carry on a positive reform.

So thanks.

LOL. Yea of course you can talk to HP about anything. The subject will always be quickly changed or dismissed of course. Such “transparency” is why my decades long friends at Columbus ubf (who moved from Toledo to Columbus) also resigned and left in disgust after having been marginalized for far too long.

My friends who left Columbus ubf were two of the most faithful, committed, loving, brilliant, creative, caring people I have ever had the pleasure to work with. And yet after talking to HP for only a short time, they were so fed up they had to move their family away from Columbus ubf.

Ah but the history of Columbus ubf is SO glorious.. SO marvelous.. they love Jesus so much but can’t love even such a loving family as my friends?

If HP is so good at communicating, why can’t Columbus ubf come up with any other prayer topics than the same freaking prayer topics that ubf has had for over 50 years? better get working on new recruits to make that 100,000 member goal by 2041

When you stood up and asked your question at that staff conference panel discussion years ago, it was an important milestone for Sharon and for me and for at least a few others as well.

This is what I remember.

When you came to the microphone, you spoke in a very polite, thoughtful, pleasant and mild voice. You expressed your concern that it was not easy to approach ubf leaders to discuss certain things with them, and you asked for the panelists’ advice.

I was acting as the moderator, and I do not recall if or how I responded to your question. I recall two responses, one from Henry Park and one from Jacob Lee.

I remember Henry Park saying that, as the chapter director of Columbus UBF, any of his members could approach him any time and talk to him about any subject at all. He indicated that there were no significant barriers to open communication in his chapter.

And I remember Jacob Lee talking about how, after living in the United States for many years, he had become just like an American. He said he was very comfortable in his American-style ministry, and he saw no significant barriers to open communication in his chapter.

When the panel discussion was over, I briefly spoke to Sarah Barry. She said that she was *so upset* at them (her words). She commended you for asking such a thoughtful and important question, and she was upset that they had not listened to you and instead (these are my words, not hers) they just blew you off.

And thank you for what you have done. I’m always impressed and edified by your careful, thoughtful, genteel comments.

But seriously. I can tell a lot of pain and sweat and tears went into writing that down. Because I have written things like that (not posted here) and it is tough.

Really, I want to throw up.

I remember telling Jim Rabchuk one time, when he asked how my message was going, that I felt like I was dying, and that every word I typed was like vomiting gravel. He responded, “Please die.” Of course, this is the kind of inhumane joke we kill each other with. In UBF this is a compliment and encouragement.

From that time I can’t stand to hear something like it. I’m glad Jim stood up at least once. He recently challenged the idea in UBF that all people are called to be Bible teachers at a regional staff retreat. I was impressed (considering the list of casualties in Mo Valley chapters). However, every missionary was either silent or shocked. They simply had no response. A few tried to keep the conversation going but amazingly, what came out of their mouths was that they regarded “sancitification” as synonimous with “shepherd training.” Another disgusting thing.

Joe you did well to fight. I raised my eyebrows at Jim and started to plan my departure.

If anyone’s reading, while I was not at that conference, I have personally experienced so many things similar to what Joe mentioned. Harsh ridiculous treatment, power struggles (I’ll never forget the message I revised 18 times for a summer conference and the disappointment I felt in all the leaders, until the message finally came home to me and I shared it with joy, and was later regarded by a senior leader as disobedient). Staff conferences are more about political manuevering, or spending up all night with old friends after jam packed Bible study and presentation times, than they are about equipping shepherds and missionaries.

Some face time is given as a token to those who complain. I remember a good speech by someone Newell about how American and Korean ideologies can be in conflict. Of course, this was a token to Korean leadership, so they can say they had listened, and not take any of it to heart.

Missionaries are eager to let out the poison in their hearts by telling some stories of trauma they’ve experienced. Yet at the same time, they are trapped into thinking that it’s a badge of courage to have borne with it. And eventually, more pain happens, more forgetting, and so on.

What’s most depressing about this whole thing is how so many Korean missionaries go back to holding on to the same old things. There are many who really want to serve the gospel.

Joe, Ben, Brian, Charles, and Chris (I think we never met) I appreciate all of you.

It’s good to get accounts of what has happened for people to consider.

Your story has been important to me. It has been an eye opening and helpful example. When I began to raise issues, people told me to be patient with leaders and the organization, to be thankful, to be humble, to repentant of my own sins first, to work my way up in the organization and gain influence, to trust in Jesus, to keep unity, to do things the “right way.” But I saw in your story someone who did all of these things already, directly with the top, for years. What American today can be in the place of position, seniority, and experience you had? Your story also confirmed my own experiences with senior leaders regarding issues. I saw that even doing things the “right way” didn’t lead to the results people promised me. And I also didn’t want to repeat all that you had done only to be in the same position and getting the same silent and cold responses. Seeking honesty and reconciliation and reform were not done in a vacuum, but it seemed that way for a long time. My own thoughts and efforts were not limited to my small world in LA. Thank you for what you’ve done.

Anyone have thoughts on any of these? Merits or shortcomings of each?

my dear friends, let’s be honest, such conniving deceptive practice goes beyond mental illness delving into the realm of demon possession; does power so corrode the conscience? is any threat to power so motivating?? have our children been so damaged by such overriding/effervescent twisted mentality???

the Lord Jesus Christ must save us all/set us free from such atrocities..

What stunned me most about the senior staff is that many of them apparently didn’t care how they were perceived by the people all around them. In Toledo, one of the top American leaders (no longer in ubf) couldn’t stand Paul Hong and had essentially no relationship with him, and didn’t even talk to him for over ten years. How on earth could PH say that things were going so well in his chapter? How could JL say year after year (just look at his chapter reports; they are still around) that everyone in his chapter loved each other so much, that they had deep love relationships, as the natives keep leaving and then his chapter splits?

Sorry for that rant, I was just having an OCD moment. Getting back to Ben’s point, he is right. The control that some leaders want to exert is not merely to determine people’s behavior, but to define and interpret the stories of their lives.

Over the last few years I’ve readjusted my thoughts and theology by saying that the root of sin is the need to be in control. It is obvious, even to those who are desperately trying trying to control UBF, that God is the only one in control. By using their position and seniority and authority in UBF to control others and the situation is to not let God be in control. THIS IS VERY SERIOUS SIN.

UBF is declining simply because some people at the top (or some leaders even in small ubf chapters) think and feel that they must have absolute control and final say about all matters UBF within their sphere of control. As long as an autocracy or oligarchy thinks that they know what’s best for ubf, ubf will continue to decline and be decimated.

imho a leader’s need to be in control and to control others is a most grievous sin in UBF and the primary major reason why horrific heart-breaking problems happened and will continue to happen.

The senior staff began when Sarah Barry was GD. For a couple of years, we slowly started to open up and talk a little about some of the traumatic things that had happened. The abortion thing was briefly discussed, and Sarah Barry acknowledged that it did happen and that she felt bad about it. The ice was slowly starting to thaw. But when John Jun took over, it froze up again. JJ surrounded himself with Koreans because he felt comfortable working with them, and he could command them more easily than Americans. He said of one top American shepherd, “He can’t become a General Director because we can’t control him.” John Jun was queasy about turning over the reins to another GD. Four years ago, he came very close to cancelling the inauguration at the last minute because he thought his successor needed “more training.” In many ways John Jun is still calling the shots. As far as I know, the ubf website still belongs to him.

Under John Jun, the senior staff meetings disappeared for a while. When we started to meet again, they got worse and worse. One of the absolute worst meetings of all time happened late one night at a national staff conference. We all sat around a conference table, and Ron Ward ran it. In his hushed voice, he tried to lead a discussion. No one said anything, we desperately wanted to leave. The main topic for discussion (it took at least a half hour) was: When and where will we hold the next senior staff meeting? A never-ending meeting devoted to planning the next meeting. That sums it up pretty well.

Leaders, why are you still keeping these things bottled up inside? Be honest with us, with the world, with yourselves. These things did happen and were traumatic for everyone. Be honest with your children, they will receive it as love. Be honest with your flock, they need to understand who you are. They will appreciate the vulnerability and receive it as love.

Most of all: be honest to God about what really happened. Something significant is going on here. God is at work in this messy dirty place. It would be crazy for you to continue to ignore this. Where is your leadership? Time is fleeting; don’t ignore this any longer.

And as I said before of UBF leaders: A thousand years to us are for them like a day, because they see and live from God’s point of view.

Indeed, the leitmotif of UBF (and cults in general) is this attempt to deprive people of their real genuine identity and personality, and their ability to speak what they really think and to stand up against injustice, all under the pretext of “humbleness.”

Regarding the machinations during the 1st American reform movement 1989 and how SL outmaneuvered his critics: It was actually not the first time he did this, he had already learned from the 1st reform movement in 1976, where he applied the same tactics: Pitting of the senior members who knew about the abuse against loyalists, but even more so against junior members who did not know about the background and blindly trusted him and the UBF system, and also silencing any opposing voice by telling them they are not “humble.”

Let’s not forget that there had been three strong reform movements, all initiated and lead by Korean members. And in all of them similar things happened as you described: Members were worried, their conscience arose, they started to bring up problems, and then they were slandered, silenced, outmaneuvered and finally expelled. These were not “internal power struggles among the Koreans,” but much of it was just as genuine as your attempts to initiate change and open talk five years ago.

Here is a passage of the letter James Kim wrote about this struggle in 1994:

“This was the same motive with which I came into conflict with Dr. Lee in the early ‘90s. After I sent a long outspoken letter to Dr. Lee in January 1990, my heart was filled with the regrettable and sorry feeling because of the sense of Korean morality. (Of course, there is nothing wrong about my suggested issue.) So, I called Dr. Lee, apologized and asked for his forgiveness after sending that letter. Dr. Lee responded that he forgave everything and there was no problem at all. And he suggested that I might have the time to talk with him and discuss necessary matters.

Then he invited me to Chicago. I joyfully accepted his invitation, deeply touched by his broad-mindedness and Christ-like personality. And he encouraged and treated me with very wonderful words while I stayed in Chicago. That moved me deeply and I even shed tears. But one thing was strange to me. It was that he let me stay in a room without a telephone for seven days in Chicago. Later, I called Toledo and found out that every word and action of Dr. Lee was false. In fact, they already expelled me from the directorship in Toledo, while he confined me in Chicago.

In Toledo, he announced through missionaries that my family and I would leave for Minneapolis in Minnesota to pioneer, since I committed terrible sins before God. (Yet, in front of me, he was totally double-tongued, and promised me that he would do his best to help me to go with American shepherd families.) I was shocked not because of the news that I was under punishment or would go into exile, but because how the servant of God could appeal to Machiavellian diplomacy like this. But I prayed again and concluded that the position, accumulated reputation and honor of Dr. Lee were significant. And the sheep of Toledo were more important. I decided that it’s o.k. to be misunderstood in order to protect the sheep. And I left a memo in Chicago and returned to Toledo. I planned that our family would leave for Minnesota quietly after talking with my co-worker. It was my candid feelings that I did not want to let our sheep and co-workers be drawn into the vortex because of my conflicts with Dr. Lee. However, the problem occurred after that.

After I came back to Toledo, through sending three Toledo missionaries to my home, Dr. Lee threatened me with this message: “It is to accept God’s love for M. James Kim to return to Chicago and receive the training. And to refuse this direction is to refuse God’s love. In that case, you will be a Gentile of UBF, that is, you will be expelled from UBF.” I explained all the circumstances to these missionaries. But it was useless because they set their heart with the fixed ideas after they received the direction of Dr. Lee. But as for me, I was shocked once again that the equation, namely Dr. Lee’s love = God’s love and Dr. Lee’s direction = God’s direction was so deeply planted in the heart of these missionaries.”

Aside from all the unhealthiness of that self-centered paranoia, this made it difficult for normal relationships to form in the community. Some friendships did form, but they were always on the sly, on the secretive side. If people were enjoying one another’s company, pretty soon someone would say, “Okay, enough of this *human* fellowship; let’s get back to mission!” And if people were honestly share their struggles, someone would usually break them up, because we must not enjoy godless human complaining fellowship. In retrospect, that was so odd. How could we not have human fellowship? Aren’t we all human beings? But in many ways we weren’t living as human beings. Everything and everyone became tools for mission. Even marriage was a tool for mission. Man equals mission, nothing more. That’s how it was, especially around Chicago. The younger generation might think I’m overstating it. Second gens might think I’m overstating it, because they were able (allowed) to friends. But I’m not exaggerating. That’s how I and many others experienced it.

Samuel Lee’s death left a huge vacuum, because without him people didn’t know how to communicate. And they didn’t trust one another. There’s a lot of mistrust, especially among the leaders. Their awkwardness and poor socialization continues today. In particular, they had no healthy model for resolving conflict. The top conflict management strategies are to command obedience, shrug their shoulders, ignore the problem, go back to Bible study, or just divide and go separate ways and call it “pioneering.” How many of the UBF chapters today got started because missionaries couldn’t get along? A lot more than anyone wants to admit. And the longer they keep marching along doing this holy mission thing, refusing to talk about what really happened to them, the community gets weaker and the mistrust and wounds don’t heal. For years I begged them to stop marching, but they just kept going, and the band played on.

I believe these stories need to be shared. If we do not tell them, how will we ever understand who we are? Without acknowledging that these things happened to us, talk of forgiveness and reconciliation is premature, nothing more than a Band-Aid.

Jun was so relieved that in 2008 ubf had silenced all their critics. But then from 2008 to 2012 ubf experienced a devastating decline in membership as long time leaders, foundational to the organization, left family by family and offering took a nose dive. Sure they could report positive spin on numbers, bolstered by new recruits and visitors from Korea, and some 2012 investment profit, but the pattern is clear: when a ubf leader declares victory, get ready for a collapse of some sort. They are just so out of touch with how people really feel, living in a fantasy land of absolute control over people’s lives in their chapter.

As I read this, a flood of memories came back to me. One stands out: I remember seeing the glee on John Jun’s face one morning at a staff conference breakfast, around 2008. He and I were there early and not many others were around, so I chose to sit at his table. (I often did that at staff conferences, sit with Koreans)

He was a bit startled at my inviting myself to sit down with him. But he quickly recognized me as the “internet guy”, the “Mr. UBF” who had fought to remove negative material about ubf on the internet. He commended me for giving God glory by taking down anti-ubf material. (You see, that is what I used to do–sit on my computer and fight against negative thoughts about ubf in public view).

Jun was so happy to tell me about the actions they had taken. I can still see how happy his face was to report to me that they had taken legal action against Chris (yes our ubfriends Chris). He was so relieved that now, in 2008, no more critics remained at large in the internet. He explained how we must protect God’s flock and not let them read what Chris had published.

At the time, this stroked my ego. But it also planted something else in me: suspicion. Although I did not properly think through what I was doing, the thought did enter my mind: This is strange. Why is a man of God so happy about destroying Chris’ life? Alas, I was still a ubf zombie and so I just suppressed this Spirit-induced thought.

Now, in 2015, I just have this to say: When ubf leaders took legal action against Chris for his website, Chris showed them the love of Christ. He turned the other cheek. He was already beaten down by ubf and John Jun stepped on his head to crush him and his family. So please pardon me if I simply cannot call ubf a Christian organization. Please give me a bit of room if I indeed do show some bitterness toward the leaders at ubf who act like cult power-mongers.

I am not Chris, however. I am not as good as he. If ubf takes legal action against me, it will be the last thing the organization does on American soil.

My first reaction is to share my gratitude for your humor Joe. This line is classic:

“That 30-minute presentation was the longest three hours of my life.”

THAT releases some pressure still built up in me from my decades at ubf. It is SO refreshing to hear someone say that! and to hear someone articulate exactly how I felt SO many times. This is now my #1 ubfriends most-favorite article.

Seemingly megalomania is a mental illness that drives a leader to crush any competition (much also like when Suddam Hussein used others-even friends-to gain power, then immediately had them taken outside & shot to eliminate threats to his new position); perhaps insecurity/instability erupt into a self-preservation mode. In the process, talent/service are wasted, to the detriment of the body of Christ.

We allowed the missionaries to write our life stories.

That’s why these articles and comments are so important to me. Those of us who experienced these things need to take back our life stories, because they aren’t the property of UBF missionaries; they belong to us.

So I hope that people continue to use this space, and whatever platforms they need to use, to reclaim that which is truly theirs.

Someday, the ubf hierarchy may begin to acknowledge this and address this, so that that healing, rectification and reconciliation may one day also become part of ubf’s story.

The present triumphalistic ubf story is incomplete, unreal, one-sided (the side of the hunter, not the lion), and resonating less and less with people.

Sorry, my pirate vocabulary is lacking.

We’d love to hear them tales whenever you like. Sharing here helps us to process our thoughts and emotions. As these stories come into the light, they may someday lead to healing and reconciliation. Keeping them hidden accomplishes nothing.

A quote from this article that recently appeared:

“Reconciliation is grueling work. Initially, it opens up more wounds than it heals…”

http://www.faithstreet.com/onfaith/2015/02/24/messianic-jews-palestinian-christians-and-a-theology-of-reconciliation/36244

It is strange, looking back, how we accepted the disrespectful abusive behavior to adults from other adults. It’s sad that this still has yet to even be acknowledged.

I’m personally really really sorry that it seems to me that no senior leader in UBF took to heart the 18 page report you wrote, or even appreciated the herculian effort it took for you to prepare it. Or maybe they just could not bear to read anything that they perceived to be disparaging, even if it is true.

I hope and wish that everyone who loves UBF as their church will read this post. As a Christian who fears God and loves God, I don’t believe that there’s anything wrong with disclosing names. After all the entire Bible discloses the names of sinners!

Also, seriously, what’s really the big deal about not disclosing what happened at a godly, Christian church/staff conference?? Someday, it’s going to be shouted from the rooftops anyway (Lk 12:3)!

Shouldn’t every Christian’s life be an open book for the whole world to see?