Have I committed the unforgivable sin?

Jumping to application, failure to explain current fulfillment and too many points. Though I am not able to make all of the corrective changes, I thank Gajanan and MJ for their insightful, useful and helpful critique on True Believers from Isaiah 19: I “jumped to practical application” before adequate hermeneutics and exegesis, and I did not explain how the prophecy regarding Egypt is being fulfilled. TBT, I did not because I do not know! MJ and her sister also pointed out that my preached sermon last Sunday had too many points, since I do not like to leave anything out. I want to seriously consider these critiques and be conscious of them, though, to be honest, I will likely continue to fail!

God’s people ignoring reality as though everything is fine. This is my paraphrase of what Isaiah says is the unforgivable sin. The day of God’s judgment is coming upon Jerusalem (Isa 22:5). God calls for them “to weep and to wail, to tear out your hair and put on sackcloth” (Isa 22:12). God desires that they seriously consider the error of their ways. But instead, “there is joy and revelry, slaughtering of cattle and killing of sheep, eating of meat and drinking of wine! ‘Let us eat and drink,’ you say, ‘for tomorrow we die!’” (Isa 22:13) As a result of their nonchalance, the Lord Almighty revealed to Isaiah, saying, “Till your dying day this sin will not be atoned for” (Isa 22:14). This is surely the worst statement that anyone can possibly hear from God. Interestingly, this was not declared to all the godless nations around Judah (Philistia to the west, Moab to the east, Syria to the north, Egypt to the south, or even to arrogant Babylon and Assyria), but to God’s very own chosen people in Jerusalem!

Seemingly not that hard to do. It was rather surprising to me to realize that it is not that difficult to commit the unatonable, unpardonable and unforgivable sin, even by God’s own chosen people: Just ignore the reality and live as though everything is fine!

Isn’t it too easy to just ignore or refuse to face reality? I used to think that only non-Christians commit the unforgivable sin. Thus, we Christians are “not that bad” and basically OK. But are we, really? Don’t we also have offensive and glaring blind spots? Aren’t we also self-righteous, proud and condescending toward others? Aren’t we also defensive and refuse to be accountable when our errors and sins are pointed out? Don’t we also ignore reality with blinders on as though everything is just fine?

Historically, Egypt has been the enslavers of God’s people and their most memorable adversary. But one day they will be converted, transformed, saved and become the people of God together with Israel. They will display evidences of true believers, such as:

• the fear of God (Isa 19:16-17),
• pledging allegiance to God (Isa 19:18),
• relating all of life to God (Isa 19:19-22),
• being united with those who are unlike them (Isa 19:23), and
• regarding all others as equals (Isa 19:24-25).

Fear God (Isa 19:16-17). The fear of God is the beginning of knowledge (Prov 1:7). The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom (Prov 9:10). People might generally prefer the love of God to the fear of God. I probably do as well. But I contend that to fear God is not to live in fear as commonly understood, but to live in awe and respect for what the Almighty will do (Isa 19:16-17). Also, I’ve found that when I fear God, I do not fear anyone else (Prov 29:25). Not fearing people does not mean that I become belligerent or disrespectful. It simply means that I acknowledge that my life is entirely in God’s hands, and in not the hands of other people. During Isaiah’s time, everyone lived and behaved as though the world was in the hands of Assyria, the superpower nation of the day (Isa 10:12-14). It is also why an important major theme of Isaiah is to not to trust mere humans (your leaders and shepherds!), but to calmly and confidently trust God alone (Isa 7:4a, 9b). Jesus practiced what Isaiah taught (Jn 2:24-25).

Pledge allegiance to the God of Israel and learn their language (Isa 19:18). To put this in contemporary context, it is like Americans submitting to Koreans and speaking “Konglish,” or Koreans submitting to Filipinos and speaking Tagalog instead of Korean. Some might prefer death to such subjugation and humiliation. But in that day the Egyptians swear allegiance to the God of Israel and learn their language (Isa 19:18).

Relate all of life to God (Isa 19:19-22). They build an altar (Isa 19:19), which signifies reconciliation with God. They cry out to God for help (Isa 19:20b), instead of seeking human and political solutions. They know God as God reveals himself (Isa 19:21a). They understand that to know God is to respond to God’s revelation of himself, and not just them seeking to know God by their own efforts or good intentions. They make sacrifices and vows in response to God’s revelation (Isa 19:21b). They walk the walk. They turn to God and experience healing in times of divine discipline (Isa 19:22), rather than becoming bitter. A true believer relates every aspect of their life–both good times and hard times–to God.

Unite with those unlike themselves (Isa 19:23). Egypt and Assyria were enemies. But in that day, they will worship together. There will be a highway connecting these unlikely bedfellows. The highway–a favorite metaphor in Isaiah–connotes the removal of alienation and separation. We human beings understandably prefer like-minded people. We prefer our own ethnicities and culture, which explains why there are ethnic communities in virtually every city. Even churches tend to be sharply segregated along racial, ethnic and denominational lines. But true believers welcome and unite with those they might not generally welcome or prefer. For virtually all of my 35 years of Christian life since 1980, I have done ministry virtually primarily and exclusively with UBF people, such that I do not really know how to relate well to or interact with non-UBF Christians. I hope to learn the spirit of inclusivity and ecuminism, which John Armstrong introduced to me over the past decade. Reading books by contemplatives such as Richard Rohr has been quite helpful to help me overcome my unique sense of exclusivity. UBFriends, comprising of many ex-UBFers, is also a great place of interaction and unity for me, since in the past I would never have maintained any relationship or interaction with anyone who has left UBF.

Regard all others as equals (Isa 19:24-25). Egypt, Assyria and Israel lived in enmity and animosity for hundreds of years. But in that day they will first acknowledge and submit to the God of Israel (Isa 19:16-17), even humbly learning their language which was foreign to them (Isa 19:18). But they do not remain in a subordinate position indefinitely. Rather, God declares that they are all equally God’s people, God’s handiwork and God’s inheritance (Isa 19:25). This is how God’s people from different ethnicities and cultures become a blessing on the earth (Isa 19:24). This exposes the repeated failure of missionaries over the centuries to this day. Unlike Paul who turned the ministry over to his indigenous converts within a few years during his four missionary journeys (Ac 14:23), Christian missionaries have generally acted as the leaders who continued to lord over their converted indigenous peoples for years and decades. This is well explained in Roland Allen’s classic book, Missionary Methods. I wrote about this in 2012: Let Local Leaders Lead. I sense that many are coming to a gradual realization that each country’s indigenous UBF leader should be leading the ministry, and not the original missionary pioneer nor a foreign overseas director.

I don’t preach what I write because I preach extemporaneously. This write up is part of my preparation and reflection which I may or may not share on Sunday. Please feel free to critique it both as a sermon, as well as for content and substance.

We Christians are firmly convinced that we should choose between:

• God and sin,
• God and money,
• right and wrong,
• good and bad,
• heaven and hell,
• monogamy and polygamy…and rightly so.

Two categories. This can be regarded as dualistic thinking. It is to see everything in two categories and two categories only. It promotes elitism, exclusivity and exclusionary thinking, which invariably denigrates, disparages and denounces those who are not on “your side.”

(The picture may be the response of some on “both sides” to “the other side.”)

What I will no longer say. Probably until a few years ago, I would have stated boldly and unequivocally, “According to the Bible, homosexuality is a sin.” But I won’t say this any more. It is not because I’m afraid of being “blasted” or “labeled,” which is actually kind of fun. But it is for these reasons:

First, I’d much rather say, “God loves homosexuals, and I love you too.”

Second, it’s because I have a much stronger, better, positive and affirmative message of the good news of God’s grace to declare unashamedly and primarily (Ac 20:24).Third, so why would I make any statement that turns off, offends, infuriates and even hurts and wounds a large segment of the world? They are the majority of the non-religious world, and an increasing number in the Christian world, especially those who enthusiastically support monogamous homosexual unions? Surely I have a much more appealing, lovely and marvelous declaration of the gospel to proclaim than to make any negative statement that enrages people, sometimes to highly volatile and emotional levels.

Fourth, making statements–regardless of whether it is right or wrong, true or false–that simply breaks the communication and relationship is unwise. It is foolish and a detriment to the gospel of God’s kindness, forbearance/ tolerance/ restraint and patience (Rom 2:4). This often creates a permanent barrier before the two sides can even begin any meaningful dialogue or conversation.

An ostrich hiding its head in the ground. In recent weeks I’ve been reading and watching blogs and videos from “both sides” of the homosexual marriage debate. So, I’m an inexperienced novice on this topic, which I’ve barely skimmed the surface of. It’s also not my “area of interest.” I’d much rather read “boring Bible commentaries” and live with my head in the clouds! Presently, in order to preach through Isaiah, I’m reading 5-7 Bible commentaries on Isaiah, which completely appeals to and satisfies my cerebrally and intellectually inclined introversion. But I should be an informed Christian who is not entirely like an ostrich with his head in the sand. So I felt compelled to at least begin to look into the homosexual marriage debate–without digging my heels resolutely into any particular position.

Can both sides be right? There are so many arguments, so much analysis, and so much explanations and detailed exegesis of the same biblical texts supporting completely diametrically opposite conclusions…and with both sides insisting they are right!

Cisgender. One thing that struck me recently was the use of new words, phrases and vocabulary that I’m unfamiliar with. I was recently surprised to find out that I’m a “cisgender.” My limited understanding is that it is a term popular among some activists and scholars. Personally, my preference is to be referred to as either “male,” “a man,” or “heterosexual male.” I hope this is not offensive (it is not intended), especially to those who are ambiguous about their sexuality and may not like such black and white clear cut and precise distinctions and definitions.

Non-affirming. Next, I felt that the phrase “non-affirming” is being increasingly used by those who are strongly supportive of homosexual unions. In Brian’s recent comments, he stated that he regards as “affirming” only those who are celebratory of homosexual unions. I have to confess that I had a discordant and dissonant inner reaction to this. It is probably because it immediately puts Christians who are anything but celebratory and in full agreement of homosexual unions on the defensive. Then no matter how much Christians are genuinely gentle, tender, kind, compassionate, respectful, empathetic, sympathetic, embracing and loving toward homosexuals, they would always be defined negatively and categorized as “non-affirming.” Even a genuinely loving gracious non-imposing tolerance would always be regarded as “non-affirming.” I guess I am empathetic toward anyone who disagrees with homosexual unions being labeled as “non-affirming.”

I think I understand that a lot of the gender language today is a backlash and retaliation toward those who have treated homosexuals and transgenders horribly, violently and with prejudice, disgust and contempt (both historically and currently). This is inexcusable and reprehensible, especially if one claims to be a Christian and to love God and to love his neighbor, even his enemy.

Nonetheless, in my opinion, to center or impose upon the world of gender and sexuality (which includes everyone) based on the preferred language of non-heterosexuals can be just as offensive and unloving as heterosexual Christians being opposed to homosexual unions.

Would it not be equivalent to those who are celebratory of monogamous heterosexual unions regarding anyone who is not pumped and excited about it as being “non-affirming”?

Am I over-stating my argument? Am I being offensive or unloving by voicing my reaction toward the “new” gender vocabulary such as “cisgender,” and especially “non-affirming”?

Do you belong to a proud or a humble church?

Fill in the blanks. I think most of them are rather self-evident. The answers are likely a lot easier than putting them into practice. (Sorry, I don’t know how to make a table, but the table and the answer key can be seen here.)

The Proud Person / Church Vs.The Humble Person / Church

Seeing ourselves as better and others as worse. Perhaps dichotomy is sometimes not often very helpful or practical. We also incline to seeing ourselves (and our churches) in a better or more positive light, and conversely incline to seeing others (and other churches) in a worse or more negative light. (I know that I did this for decades!) Nonetheless, I think this table of contrast is helpful.

What do you think? Are UBF people and UBF churches humble?

Love and marriage

Marriage and the Trinity. I’ve previously written a few articles on marriage. If Not For UBF I Would Not Be Married (2013). Marriage by faith (Should no dating be a church policy?) (2012). Marriage is covenant keeping (2011). Marriage is ever mysterious, majestic, mystical, magical and marvelous. For of all human relationships marriage most mirrors the Trinity, especially regarding love, intimacy, friendship, trust and vulnerability. That is why the fulfillment of a happy marriage knows no limit, while the agony of a bad marriage can be totally devastating and heart breaking.

Keep your head. Today it seems to be almost a given that the majority of people will only marry those they love. Surely there’s nothing wrong with this. But a wise U.S. President said to his daughter regarding marriage, “With matters of the heart you must always keep your head.” This is surely sound advice, for when objectivity is clouded, hazy or lost Prince Charming morphs into some hideous alien creature after marriage.

Is there no one I can marry? Once I advised a group of single young Christian women about the kind of man they should NEVER marry: The lazy, the drunks, the addicts, the irresponsible, those who cuss and spend hours playing video games, those who flirt and watch porn, and especially those who can’t control their temper during courtship. Then I realized that I’ve virtually excluded ALL potential husbands! But I think that my list is still valid.

For the single young Christian man I perhaps have only one thing to say: Do not marry entirely based on “something in the way she moves!” As much as I love the song, it’s probably horrible advice for marriage.

My favorite quote for fathers. “The best way for a father to love his children is to love their mother.” As all parents should know, children do not listen to their parents’ advice but they follow their example.

Love must be forever. God’s love is forever (Jer 31:3). It never changes (Heb 13:8). Lee Kwan Yew (1923-2015), the great statesman who build Singapore from a third world country to a first world country died recently. A less known fact about him is that he continued to love and care for his wife after she had a stroke and became an invalid until her death at age 89. An account of his unfailing love for his wife is here. The great Princeton theologian Benjamin Warfield (1851-1921) similarly loved his invalid wife and revolved his entire life and marriage on taking care of her….for 39 years.

Going back to what my friend said, I responded that a happy marriage primarily depends on loving the one you marry. He agreed. Is it that simple?

“What did Jesus really mean when He said, ‘Follow Me?’”

This pamphlet has three parts:

Part I. The great invitation (Mt 4:19; Mk 1:17).

Part II. The great cost (Lk 9:23).

Part III. The great change (Mt 28:19).

Repent, deny yourself, make disciples. Without going into detail, Platt explains in Part 1 that every person’s fundamental problem is sin and that we need to repent of our sins (Mk 1:15). In Part 2 he explains our need to realize that the great cost required in following Jesus is to deny ourselves and to give of ourselves entirely to Jesus (Mt 16:24-25; Mk 8:34-35). Finally in Part 3, he states that if one is truly following Jesus he will invest his life for making disciples (Mt 28:19). Platt’s point is to speak against being nominal Christians (which is not following Jesus), and instead be a “radical” Christian who is completely sold out for Christ. This in essence is what Platt says Jesus expects of any Christian who responds to his command, “Follow me.”

Formulaic? I do not disagree with any of Platt’s main points, for I am very much pro-repentance, pro-self-denial, pro-all in for Christ, and pro-making disciples. But I do not like the way he answered this very important and fundamental question of what it means to follow Jesus. (Platt also wrote a 246 page book with the title “Follow Me: A Call to Die, A Call to Live,” which I did not read.) Perhaps, a decade ago I would have fully embraced his answers with a high five. Perhaps it might still be a good primer for new believers and a challenge to “nominal Christians.” But today I find this rather unsatisfying or formulaic, if not a turn off. Let me try to explain why.

(1) The focus and emphasis is on YOUR PROBLEM–SIN–rather than on God’s mercy, love, grace and forgiveness. Basically, “your problem is sin and you must repent…or else…”

(2) Thus, the focus is on what is wrong and bad and sinful and horrible (YOU) rather than what is right and good and holy and wonderful (God).

(3) It primarily addresses and emphasizes what you must do (repent, deny yourself, make disciples) rather than on what Jesus has done for us through his incarnation, condescension, suffering, crucifixion, death, resurrection and ascension.

(4) While there is mention and affirmation of it, yet there does not seem to be any great proclamation or excitement regarding God’s goodness, grace and generosity, nor is there any awe and expression of how truly majestic, magnanimous, marvelous and mysterious our God is.

(5) In my opinion, such a presentation of what it means to follow Jesus makes Christians rather judgmental and critical of others (perhaps without realizing it), rather than on being loving, gracious, generous and ever forgiving and patient Christians like our God.

Judgmental Christians. I think that when following Jesus is articulated, expressed and communicated in such ways, it may be little wonder why Christians often come across as being judgmental, intolerant, angry and impatient toward those who sin (which is basically everybody …. except themselves!). We are judgmental of those who, in our opinion, do not repent, deny themselves, or are not making disciples. Some Christians even come across as being constipated and intolerant of anyone who is not a Christian like themselves; they are rather ungracious and condescending toward “other Christians” who are not living like them, making disciples like them, marrying like them, dressing like them, behaving like them, preaching like them, etc. It is for these reasons (and more) that I dislike the above answers as to what it means to follow Jesus. Perhaps, Platt does a more wholesome and comprehensive job in his book.

David Platt may be a wonderful Christian, pastor and preacher. I heard David Platt preach on missions from Revelation 5 a few years ago at a Gospel Coalition conference. He is gifted and passionate with much heartfelt unction. I loved his sermon and preaching. So this is not a criticism of Platt as a person, preacher or pastor, but simply of his pamphlet.

What does it mean to follow Jesus? I am sorry that I did not answer this question myself, but only critiqued the way Platt answered it.

Do you agree or disagree with my reasons regarding Platt’s answers to what it means to follow Jesus? Do such answers appeal to non-Christians? Christians? Are such answers good, satisfactory and adequate?

Proverbs 29:18a says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish…” I grew up in Malaysia, with no vision. But when I was 17, someone said, “You can enter medical school.” A vision was planted, and without ever having considered it before, I applied and entered medical school within a few months. Five years later I became a doctor.

During my medical internship in Singapore, while taking a shower, a fellow intern said, “I’m going to apply to go to the U.S.” Another vision was planted, and I immediately decided to come to the U.S., despite objections from family and friends and many difficulties. By God’s providence, I came to Chicago in 1980.

After coming to Chicago UBF, Dr. Samuel Lee began shepherding me. Those of you who know me know that I am stubborn, forceful, opinionated and highly infuriating. But through Dr. Lee, God planted a vision in me that even an unlikely person like me can shepherd American students and raise 120 disciples. Dr. Lee’s vision was unforgettable. Dr. Lee always communicated to me that I was great. But whenever he did I trembled, saying to myself, “If only you knew how sinful I am!” But he never deviated in always communicating to me unconditional love, trust and respect, despite my countless flaws, failures and sins for over 2 decades. In this way, God used him to plant the fear of God in me. In this way, God burned a fire within me to raise disciples of Christ all my life no matter what. Only by God’s mercy and the vision of Dr. Lee, God blessed my house church to establish pioneering house churches in the U.S. and to pioneer 1 nation, the Philippines.

When Dr. Lee passed away in 2002, I began praying for my own kids and for our 2nd gens. I felt a disconnection between us because there were generational barriers and cultural barriers. So, our 2nd gens subliminally thought of UBF as “my parent’s church.” But God granted me a vision that they are the best kids in the world, because they have 2 great attributes: 1) they honor the Bible as the word of God, and 2) they want to live a moral life. Then with the prayers and tears of countless UBF parents, God blessed our Young Disciples ministry over the last 5 years until 200 attendants came to our YD winter retreats in recent years.

What is my vision for our West Loop UBF? My vision is borrowed from Dr. Lee. Dr. Lee’s vision was to love and raise American leaders. According to his faith and vision, God raised so many great Americans, beginning with P. Ron, Dr. Jim Rabchuk, Dr. Joe Schafer, P. Teddy, Dr. Helen Rarick, Dr. Sam A. Lee and countless others. Similarly, God put in me a desire to support young leaders, so that God may raise them to be great servants of God. By God’s leading, God has granted us a handful of already great men and women of God for West Loop UBF. (Rhoel, Henry, Tim, Jim, Arthur, Len and Ruben. Their wives: Elena, Susan, Angie, Jenny, M. Helen, Liliana, Tif. We also have Michelle, Damon Mui, Oscar, Dindo, Iris.) Because of each of them, who are all far greater and better than I, I stand in awe of God. Because of them, and the prayers of many, and by the great mercy of God I see the vision that God will make us the best UBF chapter in the 21st century, by catching up to Triton, UIUC, LP, West LA, IIT, and Chicago UBF, to whom I am forever indebted.

I feel funny reading what I wrote just over six years ago, and the way I wrote it. Feel free to feel confused, confounded, or to cringe, cower, comment, compliment (perhaps!) or critique.

“In my experience, leaders have refused to participate in discussions where they cannot control the rules of engagement, the range of allowable topics, or manage the ultimate outcome. They are willing to meet with you one on one, but I have found that counterproductive because in private they say things to pacify you but nothing comes of it, and when you leave the room they change their tune entirely. There needs to be witnesses present and some kind of accountability. Basically, I’ve found that they refuse to participate in discussions where they might lose face. Dialogue requires letting go of control and being willing to lose face, if necessary, for the sake of the gospel and for the sake of love. It feels scary and dangerous. I understand their predicament. But it is a risk that they must take.”

For the sake of love. I understand that UBF leaders will find the above paragraph very hard to read, because it is an indictment on them. But honestly, good leaders listen to anything “thrown at them,” if they truly want to be a “world class leader” like Jesus, who did have everything thrown at him!

Please listen. A leader who only wants to teach others, lord over others and control them, but not seriously dialogue with them or listen to them makes a poor leader. A Christian leader is ultimately never one who is appointed (by God or by people), but one who has earned the right to lead others through Christ-like love. I will state categorically that a leader who does not genuinely dialogue with or listen to his or her people will eventually lose them to someone who would listen to them. Isn’t this why so many people, including so many 2nd gen children of hardcore senior leaders, are continuing to leave UBF?

Here’s Charles’ comment:

“…it became too painful to stay in UBF, and much of my time in UBF was painful. It was painful to see a so-called church systematically abuse people in the name of shepherding, praise those who did so, and then vilify and ignore those who either left or spoke against the issues. It was painful to see the whole congregation be asked to pray for such and such UBF chapter to have a big conference with many attendees while knowing that that very chapter has hurt people. To see this done, with business as usual continuing, was painful and anger inducing. And then it happened to me too.

After leaving, I experienced the very things mentioned (on UBFriends). I realized how isolated my life had become. The feelings of deception, of embarrassment in becoming a self-absorbed fool for so long, of disappointment and betrayal, were all painful. But in the end I’m glad to have left and stood by my convictions with the support of my wife because despite the pains, it sure feels great to feel like I’m becoming human again. It has been simultaneously painful and difficult, and still exciting and wonderful.”

Eerie and chilling words. The chilling phrase in Charles’ words after being in UBF for 14 years is this: “And then it happened to me too.” What happened to Charles? In his words it was to be vilified and ignored when he tried to raise concerns and speak to senior leaders about them. He wanted a genuine heart to heart dialogue. But after being shut down multiple times all he could say is, “And then it happened to me too.” (This I believe is also what countless others have felt from the UBF hierarchy.) Gosh, these words are eerie and chilling!

Can we please have a dialogue? Joe’s contention in his words are that “leaders have refused to participate in discussions where they cannot control the rules of engagement, the range of allowable topics, or manage the ultimate outcome.” In brief, the UBF hierarchy does not really want to listen or have a dialogue, for what they want is primarily for you to listen to them telling you what to do. Will such a practice ever lead to a happy marriage if one spouse only wants the other spouse to listen to them and obey them? Will this lead to a happy father son dialogue and conversation?

Let me conclude with a few excellent words by Pope Francis about what prevents dialogue and about how to have a genuine dialogue with another:

“…we succumb to attitudes that do not permit us to dialogue: domination, not knowing how to listen, annoyance in our speech, preconceived judgments and so many others. Dialogue is born from a respectful attitude toward the other person, from a conviction that the other person has something good to say. It supposes that we can make room in our heart for their point of view, their opinion and their proposals. Dialogue entails a warm reception and not a preemptive condemnation. To dialogue, one must know how to lower the defenses, to open the doors of one’s home, and to offer warmth.” Pope Francis, On Heaven and Earth: Pope Francis on Faith, Family and the Church in the 21st Century.

According to Pope Frances this is what a good UBF leader should do:

1. Don’t make preconceived judgments and preemptive condemnations against those who disagree with you and challenge your decisions.
2. Listen from your heart and listen empathetically to those hurt by UBF.
3. Respect those who critique UBF.
4. Believe that those who critique UBF have something good to say.
5. Make room in your heart for those who bring up issues that you don’t like to hear.
6. Have a warm reception in your heart toward those who leave UBF, just as you will have a warm reception to your children if they leave UBF.

Can we have a genuine heart to heart dialogue in UBF?

There are plenty of places where we can worship freely. There are many churches in our town, and of course they would be thrilled to have new members (especially if you are willing to work hard and support them financially). But it’s hard to find a church that is truly home. It’s a huge adjustment to go from being a pastor of your own church where you ran things for 20 years to being just a new person who has walked in the door with no special status or title or responsibilities. That is a huge shock.

And some of the things we found problematic about ubf (for example, the ways that they approach Scripture, shallow understandings of the gospel, problematic methods of evangelism and discipleship, overbearing pastoral leadership) we also found in varying degrees in other evangelical churches. We have become extra-sensitive to these things (some would say extra critical) because of our experiences with ubf; we can see and smell certain problems from a mile away. And after getting burned by ubf leaders its just hard to learn to trust people again.

But this process has also been incredibly healthy and purifying. And it has really widened our understanding of what the true church is and where real Christians are to be found. We have found Jesus alive and at work in churches that we used to think were too formal, too ritualistic, too liberal, full of Sunday Christians / cultural Christians and so on. We have been challenged at every level to overcome our own pride, self importance, closed mindedness, prejudice and lack of love to see Jesus Christ living in every part of his diverse Body.

A huge shock. What most resonated with me is this: “It’s a huge adjustment to go from being a pastor of your own church where you ran things for 20 years to being just a new person who has walked in the door with no special status or title or responsibilities. That is a huge shock.”

One reason I couldn’t leave UBF. Even though I had seriously considered leaving, this sentiment so well expressed by Joe was one significant reason why it was just too painful for me to leave. For over a quarter of a century I had been a top leader in UBF: Chicago Board of Elders, fellowship leader of the largest fellowship at the Chicago UBF HQ, lay UBF staff, UIC leader, overseer of YDC (now the Well), and many throughout the UBF world knew me, or heard of my name, or heard of “how exemplary” I am, and how I am one of Samuel Lee’s most fruitful disciples. So to go from this to being a virtual nobody in a new church was just plain tough. I highly commend and respect Joe and countless others who have moved on from UBF after 10 to 20 to 30 years of devoted and dedicated service. Joe and many others did what I personally could not do. Of course, there were also many other reasons why I also felt very strongly compelled to stay in UBF “forever,” which I will not delve into here.

Horrible things some leaders say of those who leave UBF. I wish some of our older leaders would realize just how painful it is for anyone to leave UBF after investing decades of the prime of their lives to UBF. The things I have personally heard from some leaders commenting on people who leave UBF is downright sick and appalling. Yet, I can’t be too hard on them, because sadly and with much brokenness of heart, I said exact similar horrible things myself for over 20 years whenever someone left UBF.

Many who leave UBF did so after giving tens of thousands of $$ to UBF. I hope that the UBF hierarchy would share corporate sorrow over those who leave UBF, instead of speaking ill and speaking disparagingly and speaking nonsense of anyone who leaves. We speak of “shepherd heart” as though it is UBF’s second nature. I hope that all UBF leaders would have a “shepherd heart” for those like Joe and countless others. (I’m not saying that they need or want our sorrow and sympathy.) Yes, they may have moved on from UBF. But this was after years and decades of fully giving themselves and countless thousands and tens and hundreds of thousands in tithes to UBF, which surely contribute to our 13 million plus USD in savings and investments just in central UBF, not counting the hundreds of thousands if not millions more in local UBF chapters throughout the world. Please, please, please have a “shepherd heart” for those who have left UBF.

I personally share and feel the pain of almost everyone who has left UBF. I can feel their pain in their articles and comments whether it is on Facebook or UBFriends, as well as in emails and phone calls and face to face conversations.

A deeply rooted egocentricity. What causes a church to thrive is a culture of love. Speaking ill of those who leave UBF promotes anything but a culture of love. Not having a “shepherd heart” for those who move on from UBF exposes a deep ego driven selfishness whose primary concern is to show off to the world just how great UBF is (and how terrible are those who leave UBF). Even 2nd gens and children born in such an ego driven culture of five decades have been leaving for other churches.

Love one another, love your neighbor as yourself, love your enemy surely includes loving those who have left and moved on from UBF.

Will you share your pain of leaving UBF? To those still in UBF do you feel the pain of our brothers and sisters who have moved on from UBF? Or are you just upset that they left or that their public (and private) comments are upsetting and uncomfortable to you?

A succinct definition of spiritual abuse

“Spiritual abuse can occur when a leader uses his or her spiritual position to control or dominate another person. It often involves overriding the feelings and opinions of another, without regard to what will result in the other person’s state of living, emotions or spiritual well-being.”

A friend’s response. I posted What is Spiritual Abuse? on Facebook and received many interesting comments. Then I emailed a friend who has been in UBF for several decades to read and share what he thought of the article. I appreciated his prompt and honest response to me. So I asked him and he gave me permission to share it. Here it is:

Yes, I read it or rather skimmed it. Church abuse is an important issue. But as of now it’s not my focus. My logic is this: It would make no sense if the North Korean government pours its resources into the problem of obesity, because most people have no food to eat.

Similarly, western churches and American churches suffer from spiritual malnutrition; they are not being fed well spiritually or they refuse to be fed. Yes, the abuse of power and authority in American churches does exist like at Mars Hill and UBF. But it does not alarm me as much as a lack of zeal and a lack of spiritual power and spiritual authority to preach the gospel and to reach out to people for Christ—even while they make dumb mistakes like in UBF or Mars Hill.

Maybe it is just me. I may change in the future. Right now I don’t want to be involved in these issues of abuses in the church as much you may want me to–not because it’s not important but because my focus is on evangelism and discipleship, which I believe is far more important.

We all need each other. When we have an urgent task in front of us we cannot be picky about what instruments we use. We need people to work for the same cause of evangelism that God gave us all as Christians. We just have to work even with the second class or third class instruments like UBF.

While we try to fix the problem of spiritual abuse, we must be winsome in going about it. The leaders may not work with us on our terms but on theirs. But why does it  matter if we have to tackle the urgent common task of reaching people for Christ that is before us?

I hope you will understand me. But if you personally feel that you should deal with abuse issues in the church, go ahead. That’s your call.

Instead of responding to him, I thought that it may be better if others chimed in graciously.

On “the UBF side,” there are countless reports over five decades of just how wonderful UBF is and how much UBF missionaries gave up their beloved homeland and family in order to suffer and sacrifice endlessly for world campus mission sparing no cost. But the UBF side does not mention anything bad or any wrongdoing. They also usually have much anger, displeasure and a defensive and offensive posture whenever anything bad is brought up regarding UBF.

On the other side–“the side hurt or abused by UBF”–there are detailed explanations as to just how bad, dishonest, abusive, elitist, and/or controlling UBF has been throughout the world. But understandably they have difficulty mentioning the good of UBF because of having been lorded over for decades, oppressed and subjugated by the foreign missionary culture, gossiped about, caricatured, and spoken ill of by some UBF leader who often denies wrongdoing or claims misunderstandng or miscommunication if ever directly confronted.

Sadly, but understandably, both sides have had much difficulty to genuinely listen to and empathize with “the other side,” since both sides are often deeply hurt and also deeply entrenched on their own side. The hurt seems to come primarily from feeling betrayed (the UBF side) or feeling taken advantage of–often for decades (the other side).

Brian, however, in announcing his upcoming new ventures and adventures, thanks UBF for three things in his last post:

1. for 15,000+ hours of reading and sharing about the Bible,
2. for his wife, and
3. for UBF people being there for him when his dad passed away in 1989.

Bad. Those who have read UBFriends are likely familiar with “the bad of UBF” that has been written and commented on by numerous persons on numerous occasions from numerous countries and continents over the last four years. Notably the issues are primarily related to authoritarianism, spiritual abuse and control in the name of shepherding and “spiritual order,” lack of transparency, dishonesty (basically lying), unhealthy and oppressive dependent relationships, no accountability of leaders, “marriage by faith” used as a political tool to benefit one’s own ministry and to control and “train” singles (but not second gens of long-standing leaders and missionaries — according to some), etc.

Good. Yes, the bad is unpleasant to state and read, especially by the UBF side. What about the good of UBF? I have personally experienced them, which I know without a doubt is entirely the hand of God that choose to bless me through UBF, amid the bad.

My mystical conversion happened after I began 1:1 Bible study in 1980 with a missionary doctor in Chicago. I became a Christian after just 2 lessons of Genesis Bible study.

I married the best woman by being introduced to her by Samuel Lee 6 months after I began Bible study and joined UBF. I married her 4 months later. I know without a doubt that if not for UBF I would not be married.

A very happy UBF chapter. Though I never thought of being a preacher or starting a church, by God’s grace through a series of interesting events, God enabled me to be both a preacher and start a church in my fifth decade of life, which is quite unusual. I explained how West Loop UBF began in 2008. We became a very happy UBF church. This is a synopsis of our liberating West Loop experience from 2008 to 2014.

Oops. As I wrote this, I suddenly remembered that I had previously written something similar: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of UBF. Sorry for rehashing some similar points.

Is it hard to share both the good and bad of UBF? Is it easier to share either just the good or just the bad?

I felt proud to be an American

Kyle is played brilliantly by Bradley Cooper, who impressively put on 30 lbs of solid muscle, since Kyle was a buff Navy SEAL (Sea, Air and Land).

The movie focuses on Kyle’s four tours of Iraq, approximately nine months each, that totaled about 1,000 days. It also dramatically shows the toll it took on him and his family, especially on his wife Taya, in between and after his four tours. She had to take care of their two children by herself, while wondering if he would make it home alive during each of his four tours when he was away in Iraq.

The reason I found the movie rather moving is because it dramatically showed Kyle’s conflict between serving the country he loves and being with his wife and two children. After three tours of Iraq, his wife tearfully and earnestly pleaded with him to not go back for another tour, since he has already served his country enough. But Kyle said, “My country still needs me.” His wife said, “But I and our children need you too!” As much as he was torn and wanted to stay with his family, he decided to go back for a fourth tour of nine months.

After his return from his last tour the movie showed him suffering from symptoms of PTSD. When a psychiatrist saw him at the VA, Kyle was asked if he ever had any doubts about killing at least 160 people. Kyle said (seen repeatedly in countless trailers) in one of the most memorable lines of the movie, “I am willing to meet my Creator and answer for every shot that I took.” He said these words not with bold triumphant confidence but with eyes that showed his inner pain and brokenness. He knew that he had to kill them (including a woman and a young boy carrying a bomb), for if he did not, they would have killed countless American troops.

As is well known, after Kyle retired from being a SEAL he decided to help and mentor soldiers who returned from Iraq with PTSD. When he was helping one such traumatized soldier, Kyle and another friend was killed by him. The movie ended with actual footage of his funeral procession as an American hero.

American Sniper is poised to become the top grossing film of 2014. It has broken the box office record for January and it will soon beat out the current top two movies of 2014, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay and Guardians of the Galaxy.

I’ve also read some negative critical comments about the movie, which is to be expected. But as a movie that focused primarily on one person and his family, I thought it was exceptionally well done.

In conclusion, Kyle played a Christ-type figure who gave his life for the country he loved. If you’re seen the movie, do share your thoughts.

I am enjoying reading Richard Rohr’s book Everything Belongs. His point is as the title says: Everything—both sin and righteousness, bad and good, wrong and right—belongs. But this is generally not how we think.

We think the former (sin, bad, wrong) does not belong in the scheme of God. So we thrash those bad aspects in ourselves–usually by not talking about it, or being blind to it, or by pretending that we are not that bad. We also thrash those bad aspects in others often by denouncing them for being bad, as though there is no bad in ourselves.

Here’s a “bad is wrong” mindset from a recent UBF report that says, “Asia is like a spiritual wasteland and is full of idol worshipers…” Doesn’t the one who wrote the report not realize that the church can also easily become a spiritual wasteland of Pharisees and be full of those who worship their own church rather than be loving and embracing toward idol worshipers, as Jesus was? Interestingly, Jesus’ most piercing and stinging rebuke was not to the prostitute (who did “wrong”) but to the Bible experts and Bible teachers (who did “right”)!

 
This story illustrates Rohr’s point and the theme of Everything Belongs:

Alcoholics tell me, “It was the worst possible thing. I ruined my marriage and lost my job and hurt my kids. It doesn’t make a bit of sense, but it is the greatest thing that ever happened to me — that I was a drunk.” An old drunk says alcoholism was the greatest gift God ever gave him… Logically that doesn’t make any sense, but theo-logically it does. What a shame that he lost his marriage and hurt his kids. He wishes he could undo it. But because of that experience, his heart was finally broken open. Now he can go back to his wife and children with compassion and freedom. Isn’t that better than so-called “doing it right” and becoming more rigid, self-righteous, and ignorant with each passing year? I admit it is a great mystery and a profound paradox.

 

A lot of people have done it “all right.” But when you look at them you say to yourself, “If that’s salvation, I don’t know that I want to be saved.” If those are the people in heaven, I don’t want to go there! Is that what heaven is going to be like? A bunch of superior people who tell you when you’re wrong all the time? Is that the life Jesus promised? That can’t be it.

 

On the other side, you meet these little souls who have been eaten up and spit out by life. Yet their eyes shine.

Finally no longer constipated. A personal story that comes to mind is when I clearly did “wrong” by losing $1,000,000 to a con-man in 2005. I badly traumatized my entire family, especially my wife. But strangely it was also one of the greatest things that happened to me. I became “unconstipated.” I discovered in a new, fresh and real way what I already knew: God has always loved me and continues to love me (Jer 31:3)! Since then our marriage has never been better and my wife and I have never been happier, I think…

Does it make sense that “right is bad and wrong is good”? Do you have a “right is bad and wrong is good” story?

Brian keeps UBF honest. Forests reviewed Brian’s first book and says, “I encourage everyone to buy and read Brian’s book. It contains much more than I have mentioned. I recently spoke to a UBF missionary from Chicago who said that Brian is good for UBF because he ‘keeps us honest.’” (Book Review: Rest Unleashed.)

Be loving: It is godly and loving to read and hear Brian’s story. Brian’s story is really a part of UBF’s big story. Brian devoted 24 years of the prime of his life to UBF until he decided to leave in 2011. He was fully committed and fully invested in UBF from 1987 to 2011. Literally, he “gave his life for UBF” without hesitation or reservation from his teenage years, perhaps even more than some missionaries did. Without question, he is a man of heart, a man of loyalty, a man of commitment, a man of integrity, and a man of passion and energy, which likely all UBF leaders encourage UBFers to be. In my opinion, to stop listening to Brian just because he left UBF reflects rather poorly and badly on UBF. It suggests and implies that UBF only loves those in UBF but not those who left UBF. Clearly, God does not love only those in UBF. Surely, God also loves those who have left UBF. So, should we not be loving by listening to people like Brian? You cannot love someone if you refuse to listen to what they have to say and share. Brian has a lot to share and say in his life story, and like it or not UBF will always be a significant part of his life story.

Be humble: It is a sign of godly humility to listen to detractors and painful critique. It is likely also the best way to change and improve. If we only listen to those who flatter us and tell us how wonderful and good we are, we will not likely improve or make much progress as a human being, nor as a church. Countless books and lectures and sermons on leadership have been written about how bad organizations or churches only surround themselves with like-minded people or so-called “Yes men,” because they do not challenge them to change or to get out of the proverbial box. Thus, genuinely listening to those who tell us how terrible or just how suboptimal or cult-like we are is very good for the soul…and for the church. It is a sign of humility, perhaps the most valued and desired attribute mentioned repeatedly throughout the Bible (Num 12:3; Zeph 2:3; 3:12; Mt 5:3; 1 Pet 5:6). Humility (by listening to honest critiques) helps us to truly change from the inside out to be more and more like humble Jesus.

Be inclusive and broad-minded like God who accepts all kinds of people. Every church tends to accept a particular type of person. After over three decades in UBF since 1980, my observation and opinion is that UBF has mainly attracted those who would listen to leaders without disagreeing, questioning or challenging them. Brian was once a person who would never question anything coming from a UBF leader (including breaking and entering the home of James and Rebekah Kim in 1990). That was likely why he was fully embraced and accepted in UBF and even “allowed” to be a UBF chapter director in Detroit. But the moment he began to question certain unhealthy UBF practices, he has been labeled as being Satan and the devil and someone to be avoided and not listened to. This is truly very sad and unfortunate and narrow-minded. If UBF learns to embrace anyone who dares to openly and publicly critique us for wrongdoing, we will become more of an inclusive and broad-minded church. In other words, by listening and accepting people like Brian, we will become more and more like Jesus and less and less like exclusive elitist Christians.

Be biblical by not shutting others out. I’ve likely heard all the reasons to not listen to Brian’s story or to not read Brian’s books. But all the reasons are primarily to justify shutting Brian out of our UBF consciousness and conversation, which is not possible, if not foolish and unbiblical. I welcome people like Brian, because he is my friend and my brother in Christ. We also share a common history in UBF for several decades. Just because he left UBF or critiques UBF (and disagrees with me regarding certain things) makes no difference.

In my opinion, it is loving, humble, inclusive, broad-minded, godly and biblical to listen to Brian’s story.

Is there any reason to not listen to Brian? Should UBF read Brian’s books and listen to Brian’s 24 year story and journey in UBF?

The last day of the year

A key verse for a new year. A yearly practice I love from being in UBF for 34 years is to write and/or reflect on what has been called a “new year key verse testimony.” It should be a pleasant poetic poignant time to reflect on the past year with gratitude and a time of prayerful anticipation of what one hopes for in the coming year.

Happiness in 2015. (I am likely obsessed with happiness, having written two such articles in the past two years: A Happy UBF chapter and Happy, Healthy, Humble View of Self.) Two weeks ago, I reflected not just on the past year but on the last six years: West Loop UBF, 2008-2014. On this last day of 2014, my prayer and hope is that 2015 may be for you a year of love, joy, peace, mercy, grace and happiness on the basis of Psalm 1.

Seven practical applications. What is the secret of happiness? Psalm 1 suggests that our happiness is closely related to our life (Ps 1:1), our heart (Ps 1:2), our foundation (Ps 1:3), and observing the lives of others (Ps 1:4-6). But I also felt that one can easily become self-righteous, critical and condescending toward others who we might regard as “not blessed because of their sins.” Thus, to be happy, consider these personal practical applications:

1) Love those who are unhappy. Do not judge, criticize or condemn others for what you regard as their wickedness and sins.

2) Repent of self-righteousness and condescension toward others, just because you think that God has blessed you, your family and your church. Ultimately, it is not because of you.

3) Know the wickedness within yourself when you:

• blame others, including God.
• worry anxiously about your future rather than trusting God.
• are jealous and envious of others, especially those who have what you want.
• gossip and slander others behind their back.
• speak, act and behave in a “holy Christian way,” while your heart may hypocritically not be as holy as what you project to others.
• lie, are dishonest, and do not speak the truth.
• do not love others the way God loves you.
• are ruled by your ego that seeks value, validation and vindication from people and the church rather than from God.

4) Know that if you regard yourself as blessed, it is because of the mercy and grace of God, and not because of any righteousness of your own.

5) Know that to be happy you need to be blessed more than you need anything else in all of life.

6) Jesus is the only truly blessed and righteous person who ever lived out Psalm 1, not you!

Do you have a happy and hopeful new year key verse testimony to share? Do you find such a practice helpful or useful? Overrated? Formulaic? Whatever the case, may you be truly happy and blessed in 2015.

Living with my head in the clouds. Last year I shared how West Loop (WL) UBF began in 2008. This is a follow up random, limited and selective reflection of our happy and eventful 6 year story and journey as a church. It mainly explains how my ideological perspectives changed. It is “heady” and not practical. As I’ve often told my wife, “Sorry that I live with my head in the clouds. Therefore, your feet has to be on the ground.” I hope this does not sound bad for her!

A theme for each year. For the last few years, as the primary preaching pastor, I loosely choose a particular theme for each year at WL:

• the year of the Gospel (1 Cor 15:1-4), a matter of prime importance.
• the year of Grace (Ac 20:24): Paul’s only aim was to testify to the gospel of God’s grace.
• the year of Sanctification (Phil 2:12b)–not by human effort but primarily by the grace of God (Phil 2:13);
• the year of the whole counsel of God (Ac 20:27), also translated as the whole will, plan, and purpose of God.
• the year of Remembrance (Dt 15:15a; 24:18; 8:2-3), to prompt us to love God (Dt 6:5) and to act and live accordingly (Dt 10:12-13; 30:19-20).
• For 2015: the year of Faith (Rom 1:17), knowing that it is only by grace that one comes to faith (Eph 2:8-9).

All these themes are rooted and grounded in the gospel–the only power for real authentic transformation and change that happens inside out (Rom 1:16). But Christians are often scared of grace, preferring instead to be punitive and retributive. We incline to giving and treating people as we think their sins deserve. We mistake grace for antinomianism, which was what Paul was accused of by the Bible legalists (Rom 6:1, 15). We think grace leads to lawlessness and licentiousness. This may happen. But withholding grace is never the solution. In fact, when grace is lacking, any church invariably becomes moralistic, legalistic, rigid and inflexible. Insufficient grace also inclines toward lacking the generosity, gentleness and graciousness toward others outside the church, and even in the church.

Changing how I taught Genesis. After teaching Genesis 100s of times for over a quarter of a century, I asked, What is the point of Genesis? Is it “live a life of mission”? Or “be a father of faith like Abraham”? Or “Marry by faith like Isaac and Rebekah”? I think not. It is by the grace of God that God chose our forefathers (and us), in spite of themselves. In 2011 I preached through most of Genesis by focusing on God’s limitless grace extended to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Joseph.

What did Jesus say the Scriptures are about? When I first noticed it, I was surprised to read that Jesus said that the OT Scriptures are about him (Jn 5:39, 46; Lk 24:27, 44). In Acts, both Peter and Paul said the same thing: the OT is about Jesus (Ac 10:43; 18:28). It impressed me that the Bible is NOT primarily a book about proper morals and proper religious behavior, but primarily about Jesus. As a result, I shifted my emphasis from imperatives (commands) to indicatives (grace), from “you love others” to “God loves you” (1 Jn 4:19), from “you live a life of mission” to “Jesus fulfilled his mission for you” (Jn 19:30). Only the latter, the gospel, leads to true transformation (2 Cor 3:18; 4:6). I think I have the support from both Martin Luther and Pope Francis!

Overcoming the iron law of paternalism, patriarchy and primogeniture. Sorry for these rather unfamiliar words. (Google each word.) But they are important because every culture, society and church naturally follows the unbreakable law of these “3 P’s.” Loosely, it means that you follow the chain of command and the norms of society (or the church), whereby the older and the senior is ALWAYS favored above the younger and the junior. But interestingly God’s grace does not follow such “human rules and traditions.” In fact, God, more often than not, breaks such unbreakable human rules and laws by choosing and extending favor to the younger over the older. For instance, in every case, God chose:

• Abel the younger instead of Cain the older.
• Isaac the younger instead of Ishmael the older.
• Jacob the younger instead of Esau the older.
• Joseph the 11th of Jacob’s sons, bypassing 10 older sons.
• Ephraim the younger son of Joseph instead of Manasseh the older son.
• Moses, the youngest one in his family.
• David, the youngest of the 8 sons of Jesse.
• Young fresh disciples (Mk 1:17), rather than old tired Pharisees and boring religious leaders.
• Young Timothy (1 Tim 4:12), rather than the older elders at Ephesus.

What does this mean and how does it apply practically? I needed to unlearn and re-learn what I had previously practiced by honoring and favoring younger people as much as I had honored older people. Under Samuel Lee’s 40 year leadership, everyone in UBF honored him more than everyone else. But by understanding how God does not follow man’s ways of paternalism, patriarchy and primogeniture, I made an intentional internal decision to honor and favor younger people, just as much as I had honored Lee for the last 22 years of his life in Chicago UBF. How would I do this? I encouraged everyone at West Loop to do whatever they wished, or to take any initiative, without asking my permission or first getting approval or clearance from me. Why? Because I trusted them as my expression of trusting God. Because I wish to respect and welcome their initiatives and creative ideas that are different (and better!) than mine.

No more fear of man. A few years ago Prov 29:25 literally changed the way I viewed, perceived and responded to people in authority. Just as I feared and honored Lee, I also feared every older person and leader in UBF. The practical result of this was that I lived before the person I feared, rather than living in the fear of God (Prov 1:7; 9:10). I lived to please the person I feared (Jn 5:43-44), rather than pleasing God (Jn 8:29). This was a miserable way to live. What a tremendous freedom and liberation it was to no longer live in the fear of any man!

No one should fear me or anyone else. Practically, I prayed that WL may be a safe place, where no one would fear me (or anyone else), just because I am an older longstanding leader in the church. If anyone feared me, they will act and pretend and not speak up openly and honestly, for fear of retaliation or repercussion from me. So I chose to welcome critiques from anyone regarding my words, decisions, actions, sermons and leadership. It is sometimes jarring and humbling when some young person says to me, “How can you say such a thing in your sermon!” But I thank God that our WL community is free and unafraid to speak up. One of my catchphrases is, “Please stab me in the front!”

Highly autonomous

If you say NO, it’s DONE. To put it bluntly I might even declare–at least to myself, but not to others (I don’t want to come across as being disrespectful or uncaring or rude!)–that I could care less whether or not others like, dislike, approve or disapprove of me. In fact, I am highly motivated and encouraged to do the very opposite of what others desire or expect of me. Thus, I often tell others with a big warm cheeky smile, “If you tell me NO, it’s DONE! If you say Stop, I Go.” So, my wife has learned to use reverse psychology on me. What a wise woman she is!

A glaring blind spot? Maybe by writing this post, I might be completely refuting what I am claiming above: That I am actually quite bothered by the opinion of others, yet insisting that I am not! Perhaps so, since we all likely have glaring blind spots and glowingly positive yet rather inaccurate assessment of our true selves.

Yes and No. So am I bothered or not by the opinion of others? The honest answer is Yes and No. Yes, in the sense that all people, young and old, want to be loved and accepted and appreciated by others. At the same time, No, because I’m still going to do what I believe is right, regardless of others. The strongest single major practical restraint upon my life is whether or not it negatively affects my wife to an inordinate degree. I believe that a happy wife is a happy life. (I’m proud that I figured this out.) As a Christian, I also want to weigh my conscience based on Scripture, in particular whether or not it expresses love for God and others or not.

Spoken to others but not to me. Over the last few years, several older UBF leaders have said to others but not to me personally, “I don’t trust Dr. Ben.” Since they are older senior leaders, their opinion obviously carries weight and therefore it influences the opinion of others in UBF toward me, especially those who do not know me. For years, I simply ignored these comments, since it was not spoken to me in person, but only to others. Furthermore, my value, validation and vindication comes from God, not people. Most importantly, my life will go on in the goodness, grace and generosity of God’s overflowing abundance, regardless of their opinion of me. So why am I blogging about this?

Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

Reconciliation. It might surprise some UBFers that the gist and thrust of the entire Bible is reconciliation. Our mission should primarily be for reconciliation, not church growth. Our discipleship should be for reconciliation, not making them Bible teachers. In my opinion, if any church fails in reconciliation, it has failed as a church, regardless of how many disciples they may raise or claim to raise.

Uncomfortable and messy. So, yes, I wish to seek reconciliation with anyone and everyone who does not trust me. I have made some private attempts at actively seeking reconciliation. God willing, I will continue to seek reconciliation, as uncomfortable and messy as this might entail.

Why don’t people trust me? These again are things I heard others say in my absence, which then are relayed to me through the grapevine. I am: bashing UBF, slamming my shepherd (Samuel Lee), tearing down UBF, ungrateful, unsupportive and jealous of UBF leaders, causing Bible students to leave UBF, not training anyone, controlling everyone at West Loop, not studying the Bible but only reading books, teaching grace but not truth, proud, rebellious, childish, immature and untrained, because Samuel Lee only loved me but never trained me!

No wonder, people don’t trust me. I might have some difficulty trusting such a person as well! Nonetheless, I wish to actively seek reconciliation, believing that it pleases and glorifies God.

Sorry for another rambling blog, which is actually all of my blogs! Sorry if this is excessively introspective. As always, I’d love to hear your take and angle on my rambling.

He is IMPORTANT in the church

Why do such shocking things happen in the holy church of God? My contention is that our theology (Bible study) always informs our Christian life. As I am studying Romans slowly and deliberately, I am positing a grossly inadequate understanding of sin as to why sin continues to thrive even in the church and often dealt with rather poorly.

1, 3, 22 sermons. Several times over two decades in Chicago UBF, I studied Rom 1:18-3:20 in one sermon and/or Bible study. This year, I expanded it to three sermons at West Loop:  Gospel Suppression (1:18-2:5); Gospel Impartiality (2:6-29); Gospel Accusation (3:1-20). If you think this is a lot (by UBF standards), John Piper preached 20 sermons on these verses, and Martyn Lloyd-Jones preached 22 sermons on these 64 verses!

Unthankfulness. The point of the UBF message was that the root of sin is unthankfulness (Rom 1:21). Therefore, we should always be thankful (1 Th 5:18). Of course, this is true. I know, as we all do, that if we are not thankful for any reason, we immediately lose peace and joy in our hearts and souls.

Disgusting sinners. I also learned that in a world without God, sin simply escalates and causes people to go from bad to worse (Rom 1:18-32). Again, we all know that this is also true.

UBF’s emphasis is on Rom 1:18-32 which constituted the major bulk of the sermon, while Rom 2:1-3:20 was just touched on rather briefly with a significant portion regarded as supplemental study. It felt to me as though it was optional and therefore not that important. So I never studied Rom 2:1-3:20, since the UBF sermon and manuscript spent hardly any time or emphasis on it.

My wrong understanding is that these 64 verses were not all that important for two reasons. (1) It’s about sin and we can skim it quickly, so that we can talk more about Jesus. (2) We studied these 64 verses in one sermon and focused on unthankfulness based on the chosen key verse, Rom 1:21.

Missing Paul’s main point in the flow of his argument. What I realized when I studied these verses more extensively a few months ago was that I missed what Paul was really trying to say in these 64 verses. (It was not “don’t be unthankful!”) Yes, the sins of the Gentiles are horrible. They are irreligious and immoral, lawless and licentious, and often gross and grotesque. But Paul’s point is not how horrible Gentile sinners are, but that the Jews–who were religious, moral and law abiding–were just as bad, if not worse! If we are to do justice with Rom 1:18-3:20, a key verse that better reflects these 64 verses is Rom 3:9, rather than Rom 1:21. “Jew and Gentile alike” (Rom 3:9) can be understood as “Christian and non-Christian,” or “religious and irreligious,” or “moral and immoral,” or “Bible believing and Bible ignorant” being equally under the power of sin. Doesn’t this explain why horrible sin happens in the church and then is covered up as though somehow Christians (or certain people) get some kind of special free pass?

What is Paul’s emphasis? Of the 64 verses, Paul spent 15 verses on Gentile sinners (Rom 1:18-32) and 49 verses (Rom 2:1-3:20) on Jewish sinners–more than three times the amount! Conversely, if I remember correctly, the UBF manuscript used up 4-5 pages on 15 verses (the sins of irreligious Gentiles) and just a page plus on 49 verses (the sins of religious “Bible believing” Jews).

This was how Paul preached and taught the Bible. When Paul taught about the sins of the Gentiles to a Jewish crowd, he noticed how the religious Jews were fully agreeing with him: “Yeah, Paul, go sock it to those disgusting immoral godless wicked Gentile sinners!” Thus, Paul switched gears from Rom 2:1-3:20 and socked it to the very decent, well-dressed, well behaved and religious Bible believing Jewish sinners for 49 verses!

Why am I belaboring this? As stated above, our Bible study of sin in these verses affects our understanding of sin and sinners. If we emphasize the sins of the Gentiles and inadvertently de-emphasize the sins of the Jews, this will be how it is in the church. We think, speak and act as though certain sins are worse (immorality, promiscuity, drunkenness), while other sins are not that bad (gossip, slander, politics, vanity, defensiveness, offensiveness). We blast the sins of the immoral, while we basically go easy on the “better behaved” sins of certain people in the church. Does this adequately explain my first paragraph above?

Have you studied about the sins of the religious in Rom 2:1-3:20? Should the sins of “certain important people” in the church be dealt with differently than others?

From 1980 (when I became a Christian and joined Chicago UBF) to 2002 (when Lee died), I witnessed firsthand what Lee said and taught. For the last 22 years of his life I listened to Lee’s preaching in Chicago UBF, and heard his prayer topics and announcements every week. He would be the final word at the Mon fellowship leader’s meeting, the Tue elder’s meeting, the Fri student leader’s meeting, on Sat when we met for prayer for the Sunday worship service, and also on Sun after the sermon.

There have been many negative accounts about Lee (which are credible accounts from credible people). But there are also Lee’s positive teachings, which I regard as the gist of his primary teachings and main emphasis for 22 years under his leadership. Many might insist that he did not practice what he preached. Nonetheless, this is what he said and emphasized repeatedly for the last 22 years of his life.

Humility. Lee said emphatically that humility is the first attribute of leadership. He would be even far more dramatic by saying, “The first attribute of leadership is humility. The second attribute of leadership is humility. The third attribute of leadership is humility.” He said this and similar statements regarding humility countless times on countless occasions over the years. For certain, UBF might be a different church if we sincerely took to heart the utmost importance of humility.

Influence. Lee said, “The water upstream flows downstream.” He meant that what happens in UBF at the ground level happens primarily because of the leader’s influence. He said very often that we should not blame our sheep, but take personal responsibility. He clearly articulated a culture of influence and responsibility that comes from the integrity of the leader. People have shared how their leader told them, “Our UBF chapter is not growing because of you.” Lee would not have been happy with that leader.

Jesus only. Lee said that whatever we write and share in both sermons and testimonies, 90% should be about Jesus and 10% about ourselves. He never deviated from consistently saying this for as long as I’ve known him for 22 years. If we practiced sharing primarily about Jesus (and not ourselves or UBF), issues with elitism and nationalism would dissipate.

Compassion. With an almost consistent and predictable regularity, Lee would emphasize in countless creative ways the compassion of God and Jesus for sinners. He encouraged UBFers to have a “shepherd’s heart” for others. He stressed that we should love our sheep like our children; that we should love and care for lost sheep with the heart of Christ and with the heart of a father and a mother. This is virtually an unchanging constant in his sermons and announcements throughout the 22 years that I‘ve known him.

Many people have shared with me their observation that they are treated differently from the children of missionaries and older leaders. They say that they often do not force their own children to feed sheep, attend meetings, write testimonies, or marry by faith. Perhaps, if we love others the same way we love our children such complaints would disappear.

Brokenness. Lee expressed it best when he said, “If one’s leg is broken we can fix their broken leg. But when one’s heart is broken, what can we do?” Many are emphatic about Lee’s motivation of primarily desiring to establish leaders for UBF. Yes, he was driven to make disciples the way he believed he should, which I do not always agree with. But I remember him expressing his compassion for broken students from dysfunctional families with genuine and heartfelt compassion countless times. I never doubted that he loved and cared for certain broken people, who will likely be ignored and discarded by a pragmatic leader.

Love one person. Related to compassion and brokenness, Lee emphasized ad nauseam about genuinely loving one person. In an attempt to help a college student, he said in the midst of a very hectic international summer Bible conference (ISBC) preparation, “Helping one person is more important than the entire UBF ISBC.”

Many people have complained about how UBF is far more concerned about the viability, success and reputation of UBF than about the welfare and well being of individual people, who have felt used, trampled upon, disregarded, unappreciated and disrespected. People felt conditional love: They are accepted and loved only if they are fully committed to serve UBF. But should they decide to leave UBF, they felt that they never had a true friend in UBF who loved them for who they were, but only for what they could contribute to UBF. If we took to heart Lee’s teaching about genuinely loving one person, then even if that person left UBF, the love would remain.

There are other repeated emphasis in Lee’s teaching. But I’ll stop here with humility, influence, Jesus only, compassion, brokenness, and loving one person. Could these six attributes be suitable replacements for some of the current 8 to 12 legacies attributed to him over the past dozen years?

Do’s and don’ts

It doesn’t work. Though not entirely, yet as a Christian I generally don’t disagree in theory and principle with the above imperatives. The problem is that it doesn’t work! Sooner or later it produces despair and despondency (because I just can’t stop flirting!). Or it produces varying degrees of pride and self-righteousnes (What’s wrong with those rebellious, complaining, disobedient, immature, proud people!).

Law and grace. As I am studying and preaching on Romans at West Loop in some depth and detail, it seems rather clear that Paul makes it a point to elaborately explain and distinguish between grace and law, faith and works, credit and merit, justification and work righteousness, humility/unity and elitism/nationalism.

Do I need to know the difference? I used to think that nitpicking about such theological distinctions was practically irrelevant. I regarded it as unnecessary, since Christians should primarily just feed sheep (Jn 21:15-17) and make disciples (Mt 28:19).

A hole in our gospel when discipling others. But if we ignore such biblical Pauline teachings we are ignoring a significant chunk of teachings in the NT. We will have some hole in our gospel. Mainly, we Christians often think that the way to genuinely help others is to simply instruct them correctly and biblically as to what to do. We should tell them to obey the teachings of the Bible. In other words, we are giving them the law, some law, some imperative, some command that they should follow and obey. (See the first paragraph.)

The law, though good, makes us worse. Paul said that the law is good (Rom 7:12), since the law is from God and it reflects who God is. Yet the law is NEVER able to change or transform anyone, since as sinners, including all Christians, the law makes us worse, not better.

Be humble. For instance, if you tell an older Christian, “Be humble,” he knows that what you said is correct. But he will likely not become humble just because you clearly told him what he knows is biblical, correct and true. Yet surprisingly, when this older Christian tells someone younger that they should be humble, they often somehow expect that their directive and command be followed and obeyed.

The law makes you and your sin worse. Paul’s repeated point in Romans is that the law doesn’t work. In fact, the law:

• shows you your sin (Rom 3:20)
• brings the wrath of God (Rom 4:15)
• increases sin in you (Rom 5:20)
• arouses sinful passions in you (Rom 7:5)
• produces sinful desire in you (Rom 7:8)
• weakens you (Rom 8:3)

Only the gospel is the power of God for salvation (Rom 1:16). It is surely the reason why Paul explicitly stated that testifying to the gospel of the grace of God was his only aim in life (Ac 20:24).

Does it make sense that the law makes you worse, not better? Is your life driven by the gospel of God’s grace? Or is it driven by the law? Does your church motivate people by the gospel of God’s grace? Or by the law?

My dog. When I was a young boy we had a family dog for many years. One day while we were walking together by a street my dog was fatally hit by a car. When I ran to him in tears, he was clearly dying but still barely alive after being mortally wounded with massive internal injuries. I reached out to him to gently caress his face as he was in the pangs of death and gasping for his last breaths of life. When my hand touched his face his spontaneous response was to bite my hand because he was in such agony and did not know who had touched him. But the very moment that he was about to bite my hand he realized that it was I and he immediately loosened his bite, breathed his last breadth and died. I can never ever forget this for as long as I live even though this happened 50 years ago. Why?

Love. I think the reason is because my dog demonstrated that he loved me and would never hurt me, not even when he was dying in agony and barely clinging to his last moments of life. I perceive this to be a very real human story that allows us to catch a glimpse into the greatness of God’s love for each of us. Even though it cost losing His one and only Son, God paid the price so that he would not hurt us. God wants more than anything else to save us, to wipe every tear from our eyes, to comfort every broken heart, and to hug and kiss us tenderly like the father who ran and kissed his long lost son when he came home (Lk 15:20b). At the moment of embrace, the father was not at all interested in hearing about any of his son’s sins. He was just so happy to have his son back. God wants to love us and hug us so much, even at the cost of losing his Son on the cross.

My cat. Two months ago, my 13 year old cat, fell from the second floor and broke her hind leg. She could not walk properly but would barely walk by dragging her broken leg. Usually she stays on the second floor. But that morning after breaking her leg, she was by our doorstep, looking rather docile and peaceful. My friend told me that when animals are hurt they would act normal because they fear that something bad would happen to them if they reveal that they are hurt. I also heard a similar explanation that when an animal in the wild is wounded they would never reveal or show that they are wounded for fear that a predator would sense their weakness and attack them. In my helplessness as to what to do with my hurt and wounded cat, I painfully decided to relinquish her to an animal shelter in Chicago Ridge with great sadness and sorrow of heart. My cat had grown up with my four kids for the last 13 years. She was like a part of my family as she was with my four children as they went from teenagers to young adults. With great reluctance I felt that I had no choice but to relinquish her because I could no longer take care of her with a broken leg and with other health issues as well–being deaf, having persistent flea infestation and having very bad allergic skin reactions from the fleas resulting in her scratching and gouging herself until she bleeds with sores and scabs. Still I so desperately wanted to keep her and not lose her. The most painful part for me was the half hour it took to drive from my home to the animal shelter, followed by the one hour wait, knowing that after I relinquished her I will never ever see her again. Then there was still the very painful drive home alone with my cat carrier…without my dear cat. Somehow I wanted to save her but I could not and did not.

Fear of vulnerability. In a way we humans are all like my wounded cat who controlled herself and acted as though she was fine, even though she had been crippled by her broken leg and no longer able to walk, run or jump like the happy healthy cat that she once was. We are so deathly afraid of being vulnerable. We are so afraid of others thinking that we are bad or no good. So we hide our spiritual broken leg and pretend to walk normally and happily so that when others see us they cannot tell who we truly are. But God knows who we are. God understands how we are. In fact, through Christ, God became like us–weak and wounded, frail and fragile, broken and vulnerable–so that we might become like him. I turned my cat in with great sadness of heart that keeps lingering and does not go away. God could have similarly turned away from us with full justification. But He did not. Instead, God turned away from the Son he loves, so that he can shine his face toward us. This is the glory and mystery of Jesus who loves us at the cost of his life. This was how “God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood” (Rom 3:25).

Please feel free to critique and comment on my sermon and on my frail human attempt to share and explain the glorious mystery of the atonement.

Gentle and kind

Boring and predictable. Many have stated that UBF tends to be boring and predictable in the way the Bible is taught and presented over the decades. I hope that UBFriends does not similarly become boring and predictable by unrelentingly blasting away against UBF.

Mission, mission, mission Vs. bashing, bashing, bashing. Many have said that virtually every UBF Bible study, sermon and postings on UBF websites is primarily mission, mission, mission. Such a repeated emphasis on mission cannot but overshadow or even obscure all the countless other (perhaps far more) important teachings of the Bible, such as the Trinity, reconciliation, unity, justice, equality, honesty, friendships, relationships, condescension (instead of being condescending), etc. Likewise, is UBFriends going to be primarily known as bashing, bashing, bashing, even though there are so many other excellent topics and themes that have been written?

While accusing UBF leaders of playing God, is UBFriends doing the same thing? Many have accused some UBF leaders and shepherds of acting and behaving as though they are the Holy Spirit, as though their knowledge and assessment of their sheep is perfect and correct. In the past they have made highly offensive and reprehensible statements like “selfish Americans,” “Polish pride,” “beggar mentality Filipinos,” etc. Obviously no American, Pole or Filipino likes this. Do we now do the same thing by slamming and bashing UBF?

God is omniscient, we are not. God’s (Jesus’) assessment and judgement of us is objective and correct, even perfect, because God sees and knows every heart perfectly. But our judgment of others, even when based on observable facts and evidences, has elements of subjectivity, bias and prejudices because we do not know the deep intricacy of the hearts of others, and not even our own hearts.

Endless proof-texting. We can quote endless verses about how Jesus blasted others, especially the crooked and malicious religious leaders. Others can also similarly quote countless verses about how Jesus was endlessly gentle, patient and kind toward the wicked (which is everyone). Quoting verses is perhaps a stalemate.

Gentle, meek, lowly, kind. Since I’m writing this, let me quote my preferred verses that I believe exemplify Christ. (Feel free to quote “opposite verses!”) “A gentle tongue can break a bone” (Prov 25:15, NIV). “A soft tongue will break a bone” (Prov 25:15, ESV). “Soft speech can break bones” (Prov 29:25, NLT). “Blessed are the gentle / the meek, for they shall inherit the earth” (Mt 5:5, NASB; Mt 5:5, ESV). “I am gentle and humble / lowly in heart” (Mt 11:29, NIV; Mt 11:29, ESV). “Love is patient, love is kind” (1 Cor 13:4).

Don’t stop speaking up. I am absolutely NOT saying that people should stop speaking up against authoritarianism, elitism, exclusivity, cultural imperialism, injustices, spiritual abuse and controlling others in the name of shepherding and discipleship, etc. In fact if you do not speak up when you hear or see something wrong, you are either indifferent or a wimp as a Christian. But for those who do speak up, is there a way to speak up online in a kinder and gentler way, and not predominantly with the predictable accusatory rhetoric and polemic attack of Mt 23:13-39?

What if UBF refuses to do any or all of the following? Be accountable? Genuinely apologize? Own up with contrition or take responsibility for spiritual abuse? Stop slandering and speaking ill of anyone who dares to critique UBF or who leaves UBF? Acknowledge that their shepherding, training methods and their implicit no dating and marriage by faith policies are unbiblical and controlling? Stop justifying itself by their (gospel of) good intentions (which excuses the abuse)? Then what?

Even if many are changing, some may never change. I personally believe that many are genuinely changing, albeit rather slowly, if not invisibly. But there is also a very distinct possibility that some others–perhaps in the absolute minority–who will never change. Then what? Do we thrash the whole orchard because of a few bad apples? Do we damage the whole field of wheat while trying to remove a few weeds? Do we wound and hurt the majority of “good” UBF people, just because we want to relentlessly call out the few “bad” people, who may never change no matter what is said or done?

At the end of the day is Jesus remembered for blasting sinners (which we all deserve without exception) or dying for sinners (which we do not deserve)? What is UBFriends, in her present state and form and emphasis, going to be remembered for?

Is it possible for UBFriends to be gentler, kinder, milder, meeker, more patient, more self-introspection, less accusatory, and not be a predominantly one message website of predictably bashing UBF as though our assessment and judgment of UBF is perfect like that of God’s?

Did I miscommunicate biblical faith? I used to make such statements 100s of times to countless Bible students for over a quarter of a century….especially to those who are single and in (restrained desire and) need of a spouse! I am so sorry for all those I did this too… I realize that inherent in such seemingly “innocent” and “cute” statements is that it could be provocative and possibly misleading and miscommunicating biblical faith.

What’s so wrong about making such statements? On the surface, and without much thought or critical reflection, they do sound biblical, don’t they? For Jesus said, “Have faith in God” (Mk 11:22). Also, we Christians absolutely need faith to please God (Heb 11:6), and “the righteous will live by faith” (Rom 1:17c, Hab 2:4). In the OT, when Abram believed God, his faith was credited to him as righteousness (Gen 15:6). Therefore, when we have faith and pray with believing faith (Mk 11:24), we can move immovable mountains (Mk 11:23). We can marry the person of our wildest dreams and raise many disciples for the kingdom of God! Wow…all I need and the only thing I need is faith. This is surely all true, correct and biblical, isn’t it?

The problem is… and there are several potential problems with making such unqualified statements and other related statements regarding faith, such as “With faith you can be a great man, and a Ph.D professor shepherd, and a successful businessman.” So what’s the problem?

It’s up to you and your faith. It presents faith as though it is entirely up to you and to the quality and purity and correctness and soundness of your faith. It puts the burden and pressure on you to have and to exercise the proper kind of faith. Then you, through your faith, will please God and move God’s heart to bless you abundantly according to your faith. It is basically having faith in your faith, rather than in God.

It takes emphasis away from the primacy of God. I am not denying that each Christian is fully responsible for exercising their faith. But to place the burden of faith primarily on the Christian denies or obscures the primacy of God in our faith (Phil 1:6; 2:12-13). It is as though God is not sovereign but that I am sovereign to fulfill God’s will, since God is dependent on my faith before he can or will act to bless me.

It can cause self-centeredness and excessive unhealthy introspection. It causes you to think primarily about yourself (what’s wrong with me or with my faith?), rather than to think or focus primarily on God.

It can be a form of control and guilt-tripping. It gives the church leader and the Bible teacher the control by putting pressure on the Bible student as the one who needs to prove themselves through the exercise of their faith expressed by their performance.

God’s Not Dead misrepresents faith. In the movie God’s Not Dead, a college professor is a staunch atheist. When he was young his mother became ill. Growing up in the church, he believed and prayed that God would heal her. But she died. He became bitter and concluded that God is dead. His idea of faith is that God would answer his prayers if he sincerely and genuinely prays to God by faith. His idea of faith is that he is in the driver’s seat and that God is the one who should do what he prays for. I shared this extemporaneously in my sermon Gospel Faith to express the fallacy of such faith.

Does your faith make you righteous? Interestingly, Rom 1:17 can also be translated “the righteous by faith will live” (Rom 1:17, NET), or “And the righteous one by faith shall live” (Rom 1:17, YLT). This perhaps conveys the essence of faith more clearly by emphasizing what God has done. We Christians do not live by faith to become righteous (or to get what we want or to have our prayers answered). Rather, it is precisely because of our faith in Christ who saves us by his grace that we live! This is the emphasis in my sermon Gospel Power.

What are your experiences with faith? How was faith taught or communicated to you?

Paul says emphatically, “I am not ashamed of the gospel.” This is the explicit reason why he had Gospel Enthusiasm and excitement and energy and eagerness to preach the gospel to the Romans (Rom 1:15).

I wondered to myself, “What am I NOT ashamed of?”

Two things immediately come to mind: my wife and my cats! I simply love to talk about them at every opportunity. I can hardly get through any sermon, or Bible study, or a casual conversation, or even a UBFriends post or comment, without talking about either my wife or my cats or both!

I also love to talk about food, which seems to interest me more and more as I get older. That’s why I love the analogy of the kingdom of God being like a great banquet feast (Mt 22:2; Lk 14:15; Rev 19:9, 17), which I assume will have tons of gourmet food that I have not tasted this side of the eschaton! Last week I enjoyed my first Kobe Beef steak at Gibson’s Steakhouse. I am somewhat embarrassed that it cost $100. But I did share it with my wife… I also love movies and I can’t wait to take my wife to go watch Gone Girl, which is getting rave reviews. With my friends and relatives back home in Malaysia and Singapore I love talking about whisky, about how single malt whisky tastes so much more refined than blended whisky.

Basically, I love to talk about what I love and am not ashamed of.

The converse is also true. I do not like to talk about what I am ashamed of. After the Chicago Bear’s humiliating loss to the Green Bay Packers last week, I refused to talk about the Bears, being ashamed at how poorly the defense played and at how Jay Cutler still throws horrible errant picks at the worst times, despite getting paid $17.5 million per year.

Yes, I have tons of “worldly desires,” as some might characterize it. But I also love to talk about Jesus (who IS my life), the gospel, the Bible, theology, good books, life, who God is, who we (sinful and loved) human beings are, the church, the manifold and often shameful problems in the church. This is surely nothing but the grace of Jesus and the power of God working in me.

Perhaps, most people are ashamed to talk about their sins (as much as some might inadvertently love to brag about their achievements, deeds and works). Surprisingly, Paul was not ashamed to speak about his sins. He spoke candidly and explicitly about how he, the great apostle, was the worst of the apostles (1 Cor 15:9), the worst of all Christians (Eph 3:8), and close to his death even the worst of all men (1 Tim 1:15). Paul always connected all aspects of his life to Christ, including his sins. So when Paul spoke about his sins, he was in effect testifying to the marvelous and matchless grace of Jesus (1 Cor 15:10).

I know that I am not ashamed of the gospel and would love most to share Jesus with others. This does not mean that I should impose myself on others, or be intrusive and inconsiderate toward others, even if I often tend to be because of my doggedness. I do love most to speak about Jesus and the gospel, even if I might often talk too much, or listen too little, or be more heady and cerebral and theological than practical, or be more forceful than gentle, or am seemingly too distracted negatively by problems and injustice.

What are you not ashamed of? Feel free to critique my sermon write up in the above links, or my rambling reflection on not being ashamed.

Forgiveness

Everlasting love. I understood the gospel again in 2005 when I lost over $1,000,000 because of my greed, arrogance, a desire to retire ASAP, and sheer stupidity and imbecility. I regarded this as my “worst” sin. I loathed myself with all my heart because of what I did. But at this miserably low point of my life Jer 31:3 came to my heart: “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” I was stunned that God could love me and still loves me, when I couldn’t love myself nor bear with myself. To my surprise I understood again that the gospel or good news was entirely because of God’s unconditional love and grace, and NOT dependent on me in any way. I felt as though I was born again…again. Though I felt sick with myself, I was completely renewed, refreshed and restored. The surprising unchanging gospel and good news of God’s grace had nothing to do with my sin, shame, dishonor and disgrace.

Wow, she still loves me. Though my heart was warmed and greatly comforted by the grace of God, I nonetheless did expect my marriage to deteriorate and sour significantly. I know how much I had hurt my wife Christy and my four children. I was in massive debt, having lost in a few months far more than what Christy had painstakingly saved up for over 20 years of our marriage. She is the least extravagant, most thrifty and most frugal person I know. She buys virtually everything that is either on sale, with coupons or with rebates. But I blew all of our life’s savings and more virtually overnight. I thought to myself, “If Christy leaves me or stops loving me, I really can’t blame her.” But she still loved me. I was shocked that she could still love me. This is good news. This is the gospel expressed to me through her. Her unchanging love and gospel expression touched and transformed my heart. To this day, a decade later I am still humbled, grateful and overwhelmed. Because of her love for me, she has me hook, line and sinker. Because of her gospel love for me, I’m far crazier about her than she is about me, which is quite fine with me.

Without a doubt, the gospel is entirely what God has done, and not dependent in any way on me or my sins.

Do you have a gospel story to share? Feel free to also critique my first of many sermons on Romans, either the written manuscript or the extemporaneous preaching, where I shared the above account to conclude my sermon.

“Just obey” may cause PTSD reactions

This is not biblical obedience. An “American shepherd” was introduced to “marry by faith” with a “Korean shepherdess.” But he politely declined. Then he was told without equivocation and in all seriousness, “YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO SAY ‘NO.’” After that he was told that because of his disobedience he had to leave that UBF chapter. (Does this cause PTSD reactions?) This is not biblical obedience, but teaching obedience to a human person. It tainted and jaded him to some degree. Because of such a humiliating church experience, I began to understand why PTSD reactions happen in some people who have been in UBF.

Why share such negative and discouraging stories. Some UBFers have angrily accused me of being negative, critical and discouraging because I share such stories publicly. But I do so because such “negative” stories are often not welcomed, not in emails or even in private discussion among some senior leaders. Also, there have been no proper official channels for such issues to be seriously addressed (without being pacified or patronized), or for it to be dealt with fairly and promptly. Yes, UBFriends is often messy and it may not be the optimal place to share this. But is there really an optimal place to share this anywhere? My hope is that as such accounts are known more and more in my church, they will happen less and less.

Obedience to the gospel. For the record, I still preach, teach and encourage obedience, but never to me, and never to UBF. Rather, I teach, promote and emphasize (willing, not coerced) obedience primarily in response to the gospel by personally knowing the grace of Jesus and the love of God and the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Faith and Obedience. I had originally intended to write a theological exposé entitled Faith and Obedience. If you are interested to critique it and dialogue about it, I posted it on my blog here. So the above posting sort of just happened randomly!

Do you have any obedience stories or PTSD stories to share?

After becoming a Christian in 1980 I became certain and convinced by the work of the Holy Spirit that living for Jesus is the only worthwhile reason to live (Jn 10:10b; 20:31). Only by God’s mercy and grace, this is still as true for me today as it was when I experienced my mystical conversion in 1980.

But along with this glorious, mystical, loving, gracious, mysterious certainty of Christ, I realize that I also added “other certainties,” which were basically non-negotiable to me, such as:

• One to one Bible study is the best way of discipleship.
• You must always answer the Bible study questions before meeting for Bible study…and prepare a Bible study binder.
• Writing testimonies weekly is the best way to grow as a Christian.
• Marrying by faith is the way to marry.
• Everyone should be a one to one Bible teacher and teach the Bible.
• You must never ever miss Sun worship service for any reason unless you’re dying or moribund or for four weeks for a mother after delivering a baby, but NOT for the father.
• You must never miss your weekly church meetings.
• You better never miss any church conferences, even if you have to go into debt by paying for the travel expenses and conference fee.
• You must always defer to and agree with your senior and your leader, even though they are clearly wrong.
• You must not disagree with, object to, or challenge your leader, because God appointed them and not you to be the leader.
• If your Christian leader does not bless you, God will not bless you.
• God’s blessing on your life invariably and necessarily comes through your leader and your church.
• UBF is the best church in the world.
• Caucasian Bible students are the best, while others are dispensable. Sorry for having to make such a racially offensive and disgusting statement, because it was sadly true of me then.
• Any Christian or church who does things differently from me or my church is really compromising, inferior, suboptimal, nominal, culturally contaminated, sad and pitiful.

Of course, I developed these absolute certainties because my church communicated these certainties, either implicitly or even explicitly at times. These are not necessarily all bad or wrong, though some clearly are unbiblical. I’m sure you can identify which.

The problem with these certainties other than Christ and the gospel is that I became arrogant and condescending toward anyone who did not value and treasure MY certainties. I was also known by others–such as my family–for these other certainties, as though Christ is like that, when clearly Jesus is never ever so rigid, narrow, inflexible and intolerant of anyone who is not like ME!

Today, Christ remains my single certainty. But the others are not longer certainties to me.

• I enjoy group BIble studies, which I think are far more interesting and illuminating.
• People can come for Bible studies prepared or completely unprepared.
• They can share written testimonies, or oral extemporaneous testimonies, or not share at all.
• No church meeting or church conference is mandatory.
• Come if you want to, not because you have to.
• Learn to make decisions on your own before God and not think that you need the mediator of another person, since Christ is the only mediator (1 Tim 2:5).
• Overcome unhealthy dependency on another person, as though your blessing comes primarily from a human being rather than from God.
• Sorry to blow burst anyone’s bubble, but UBF is NOT the best church in the world. Nonetheless, I love this church, because ultimately it is Christ’s bride and He is my bridegroom.

What are your certainties? Have you dispensed of any unnecessary certainties that you once held dear?

I used to consider some activities as spiritual (sacred) and others as worldly (secular).

Spiritual. I thought that carrying out 1:1 Bible studies on the UIC campus was the single greatest Christian activity under heaven, and that it gave God ecstatic chills, goose bumps and enthusiastic high-fives among the Three Divine Persons of the Godhead! So for over two decades I averaged ten 1:1 Bible studies a week, while working full time and never missing any UBF evening meetings, which was usually 4-5 every week.

Worldly. Conversely, I thought that going home to visit my aged mother in Malaysia was selfish and family-centered, and that it displeased and grieved God. By visiting mom for even a week, I would not be on campus to focus on the most important task of making disciples among college students (Mt 28:19), which was unthinkable for me.

Breaking my mother’s heart. As a result, I did not go home and visit my parents for over a decade, even though I had promised my mother that I would visit her every year when I left for Chicago in 1980. This broke her heart and brought her to tears on many occasions. She once said to me, “Because of you, I would never become a Christian.” At that time, I chalked it up as a badge of honor, for I was being persecuted as a faithful and committed Christian (2 Tim 3:12; Mt 5:10-12).

Does visiting my mom displease God? A decade ago I began asking myself some questions: “Am I displeasing God by visiting my mom, and not being on the UIC campus feeding sheep every week? Do I become a different person and a less godly person by staying with my mom? Do I love Jesus less, fear God less, and entertain more sinful thoughts in Malaysia, since I am not carrying out 1:1 Bible studies in Chicago? Will the work of God be hindered by my absence at UIC?” For the first two decades of my Christian life I thought it was.

My mom began going to church at age 96. So over the past decade I have visited my mom every year. Earlier this year I had already visited her. But I plan to visit her again in November to attend her 97th birthday. Recently, she told me that she began to attend a Methodist church, which was quite an unexpected pleasant surprise to me.

Unhealthy compartmentalization of what we do. From my experience and based on my reading, it is not helpful, nor prudent, or even biblical to create a sacred-secular divide. Some examples which I have practiced and witnessed:

• Attending a UBF worship service is good, but attending other Christian church services is not good.
• Never miss a Sun service to attend any other “worldly” activity such as family gatherings, or the graduation of a family member or friend.
• Having Bible studies each week is spiritual and better than working full time at your secular job, which is primarily for the purpose of supporting your church and ministry.
• Serving in church is spiritual while serving in non-Christian institutions is not.
• Spending time in the church is more spiritual than hanging out in your home.
• Bible study and discipleship is better than justice and mercy ministry, which is social work and not spiritual.

Though I once practiced such dichotomies, I find them quite disconcerting today. This list can sadly go on and on. But such artificial dichotomies and expressions of our Christianity is pretty ghastly and even unbiblical. Why?

Monotheism. The Shema, which faithful Jews recite every day is Dt 6:4 which proclaims in essence that there is only one God whom we worship with the entirely of our being (Dt 6:5). Jesus regards this as the greatest commandment (Mt 22:37; Mk 12:30). A meaning of monotheism is that the one God is the same God wherever we are and whatever we do. It is the same God whether we are in church, or at home, or at work. It is the same God whether we are with Christians, or with family, or with colleagues at work. It is the same God whether we are at a UBF worship service or some other Christian worship service, or whether I am in Chicago or Malaysia.

Polytheism. If we communicate that doing particular activities is spiritual and others are not, we are in a sense practicing polytheism. In the past, the ancients worshiped a god of agriculture, a god of fertility, a god of health, a god of fortune, etc.

Do you experience or encounter any sacred secular divide in church? If so, are you able to address it and discuss it?

Not necessarily a chick flick!

Desiring true love. Both movies were wildly popular and successful. Maleficent became Angelina Jolie’s most successful movie financially. Frozen surpassed Toy Story 3 as the most financially successful animated movie worldwide, primarily on account of it being the #1 movie in Japan for 16 consecutive weeks!–unheard of in today’s world where movies are being churned out all year round. Don’t we humans desire true love more than anything else in the world?

Depression and substance abuse. The recent celebrity suicides (Robin Williams, age 63) and drug overdoses (Philip Seymour Hoffman, age 46) were related to depression and substance abuse. These tragedies scream to the world that all the fame, wealth, success and popularity cannot quench, fulfill or satisfy the human heart. Depression is a debilitating and devastating health issue that always needs to be seriously addressed, since it afflicts countless millions throughout the world. But will one who knows and experiences true love remain depressed and inconsolable indefinitely? A notable Christian plagued with depression and several attempted suicides occurred with the famous hymn writer William Cowper (1731-1800).

Can’t live without true love. I first experienced true love when God, by his mercy and grace alone (Eph 2:8-9), miraculously brought forth my mystical conversion in 1980. This drastic miraculous initial transformation of my heart and mind, which I can never ever forget, is ongoing to this very day. It’s like I cannot ever imagine living without Christ even for a moment. It is because God’s love for me never changes (Jer 31:3; Heb 13:8), and because Christ gave himself for me (Gal 2:20) and filled me with the fruit of love (Gal 5:22).

Wired for true love. Growing up, I knew unconditional love from my parents, who had never hurt or traumatized me even once. Sadly, as a spoilt kid, I often took their love for granted. After my conversion, I experienced romantic love through my dear wife, who feels more precious to me than my own life, even when she is graciously annoying at times. (I know that it is mostly my fault, even if it is hard to admit it!) Nothing in this world has continued to influence me positively as much as my “marriage by faith” in 1981. I also experienced much love from my four kids, three grand-kids, my extended family, my friends, my church, and even from my three cats! Last week I felt so devastated when I had to relinquish my oldest cat of 13 years, my favorite. She fell off the porch on the second floor, broke her hind leg and could not walk. Now my remaining two cats comfort me from losing her. Truly, we humans are wired for love.

How might you articulate your experience of true love?

The big news in Christendom today. Acts 29, a national church planting group with 500 churches cofounded by Mark Driscoll, has removed Driscoll, the senior pastor at Mars Hill Church in Seattle and the church from membership, with seven board members urging in a letter that Driscoll “step down” from ministry and “seek help.” The letter is here.

5,000 church members in 8 years. In the mid-1990s, at age 25 Driscoll started a church in his house in Seattle with a dozen people. In 8 years, his church grew to 5,000 members when he was only 33 years old. Today, his network of five local churches boasts 18,000 members. He founded Acts 29, a church planting network that grew to 500 churches, and a Bible seminary. He is said to read one book a day. His sermons are downloaded millions of times by Christians throughout the English speaking world. He has authored many Christian books, including the popular and controversial Real Marriage. He is famous throughout the world with invitations to preach and teach in churches from many countries.

How did Driscoll influence me? Once at a Gospel Coalition conference, I heard Driscoll preach a 40 point sermon. I didn’t like the sermon (it had too many points and I don’t remember what he said!), but I was impressed. Since then, I decided to preach extemporaneously, rather than preach from reading off a typed prepared manuscript, which I did for decades. It was not easy for me to learn new tricks in my 50s. But through Driscoll, Tim Keller and others who preach without notes, I was inspired to give extemporaneous preaching a shot. I guess I can be proud of myself in that I could be regarded as having a “humble learning mind.”

Would Driscoll be a good sheep in UBF? I also thought that if Driscoll, as brilliant, gifted and energetic as he was, was fished by UBF, he likely would have left, since he would not allow himself to be subject to the “discipleship training” of UBF. He is far too creative and fired up to follow some kind of scripted Christian program of being taught the Bible one on one week after week, or going fishing, or early morning daily bread, or weekly prayer meetings and testimony writing, or receive “message training” and the like. So, Driscoll would likely be regarded by UBF as a “very proud and rebellious no-good” sheep because he refuses to receive humbleness training and “just obey.” I don’t think he would “marry by faith” either.

No accountability. What happened to Driscoll? Lord Acton’s famous quote comes to mind: Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Countless reports online over the years have accused Driscoll of authoritarian abuse, of centering virtually all power to himself, and surrounding himself with elders who will unconditionally support him and not question his authority, disagree with him, or challenge him. He also removed and dismissed several elders who would not agree with him. As his church and influence grew, so did his refusal to be truly accountable to others, even when he said that he would. My contention has been that every Christian, including every Christian leader regardless of their tenure, status and fruitfulness, absolutely needs to be accountable to others. Driscoll’s removal from Acts 29 reveals that he has refused to be accountable to others. Basically, he has called the shots throughout his ministry, as this short video/audio clip suggests.

The internet is not going away. Even just a few decades ago, Driscoll might have gotten away with his authoritarianism and abuse of his power. But today, with the advent and explosion of cyberspace, almost any news can become a major news story almost instantaneously. Yes, some Christian leaders simply loathe the fact that anyone’s dirty laundry can be aired publicly for all to see and read. Nonetheless, this is the reality that is not going to change until Jesus comes again. I often think that the internet is fulfilling Jesus’ promise that “what you have whispered behind closed doors will be shouted from the housetops for all to hear!” (Lk 12:3, NLT)

Regardless of his many inappropriate off-handed comments and authoritarian abuse, I generally like Mark Driscoll’s fire, energy, spirit and passion for Christ and the proclamation of the gospel. Yet, it seems that he allowed his fame, popularity, gifting from God, influence and power to get to his head in some way. Satan is crafty. May God grant him this time to come to Jesus newly and find new life in him.

Thoughts and reflections? Can we apply any of this to UBF?

Is the older brother a “bad” sinner?

How gentle is our God. This past Sunday at West Loop UBF I preached on the theme of Gentleness. I spoke extemporaneously on our God who is so gentle and patient with us, even while we are sinning against Him continually, intentionally and with planned premeditation! I explained how our God is so gentle–like the father in the parable of the prodigal son. He was gentle when his younger son heartlessly demanded his share of the estate. He was also gentle toward his older son when he angrily refused to celebrate with his father who was overjoyed that his lost younger son had returned home.

Was the older brother “very” sinful? As I was preaching, it sort of dawned on me that the older brother is just as horrible and sinful as his younger brother, if not “more sinful.” Yes, he never left home (the church) like his younger brother. Yes, he always stayed at home with his father like a dutiful son and did not sleep with prostitutes. Yes, he “never disobeyed” his father’s orders (Lk 15:29). But this DOES NOT make him any less of a sinner. In fact, the way he behaved and responded to his gentle father exposes just how far removed he is from his father, who represents God.

Is the older brother “worse” than his younger brother? Angrily refusing to join in his father’s celebration speaks volumes about him. He obviously did not share in his father’s joy. His angry refusal to participate was a deliberate act of insulting, offending and humiliating his father (Lk 15:28a). Saying “Look!” (Lk 15:29) and “this son of yours” (Lk 15:30) expresses no love for his own brother and sheer disrespect for his father. It would be akin to cursing his father and spitting in his face.

Religious sinners are “worse” than immoral sinners. All sin is wrong and bad. But when the younger brother sinned by leaving home, his primary motivation was to selfishly enjoy his life without his father’s interference. On the other hand, the older brother’s sin was primarily directed against his father by questioning his very integrity and demeaning him directly. The four gospels bear this out in that the religious leaders were far worse sinners than the prostitutes and the profligates (Mt 21:31).

Despising sinners. By not understanding older brother sins, I despised (younger brother) “sinners.” In my heart, I rejected anyone who would not study the Bible or attend church, even if they were my own family and childhood friends. I was also very critical toward mega churches, liberal churches, charismatic churches, social justice churches and non-UBF churches in general! I never understood the gravity and seriousness of the older brother’s sins because I was him and I am him! Without the grace, mercy, patience and limitless gentleness of God, I will forever be the older brother who is just seething, disgruntled and angry at “sinners” for doing what sinners do, which is sin.

Any thoughts about older brother sins and sinners?

The word translated “kingdom” (βασιλεία – basileia) is used 162 times in the NT, while “church” (ἐκκλησία– ekklēsia) is used 115 times. Both are significant themes in the Bible. Kingdom has the meaning of a territory under the rule of a king, while “church” means an assembly, a congregation, a gathering of people. Rather than expound theologically on Kingdom and Church (boring), I’ll share how I experienced the Kingdom (God) through the Church (people).

My (mystical) conversion was my first encounter with the kingdom of God. It was unexpected, supernatural, glorious and mysterious. I met face to face with the Immortal One who lives in unapproachable light (1 Tim 6:16). I still have chills and shivers whenever I recount this. My conversion happened two weeks after I began Genesis one on one Bible study with a UBF missionary in 1980.

A marriage made in heaven is God’s endless mercy and grace to me, a boy who could never speak to any woman I felt attracted to. In my mind it was a certainty that I would never marry. But through the introduction of Samuel Lee I married by faith with a woman I did not propose to! After 32 years of marital bliss (and counting), God granted me the unspeakable joy of God and his kingdom. I previously shared how God’s utmost love for mankind is expressed through a happy marriage.

Four lovely children are God’s blessed gifts of love and undeserved rewards, through whom I taste the goodness and love of the kingdom of God. They are like arrows to a warrior whose quiver is full of them (Ps 127:3-5). In addition, God has granted my wife and I three (plus one) grandchildren. My endless wealth from my children are inestimable and priceless.

A happy church community of 10 families are at West Loop UBF. Even if I do a poor job of it, I have the great privilege of preaching extemporaneously to them. Every Sunday without exception I stand in awe of God before them and others in weakness and with fear and trembling (1 Cor 2:3). We thoroughly enjoy each others’ company with endless laughter and intimate conversation. Even when we disagree and fight (mainly because of my autonomous, abrasive, combative and confrontational disposition!), God has enabled us to be true friends who stab each other in the front!

Friends who love Jesus in Philippines UBF. Through a Bible student from my fellowship in 1984, God planted a church that has been thriving to this day. They have been a fruitful and vibrant ministry in Manila that we have been able to love and support from Chicago. God has granted me the privilege of visiting them each year over the past decade. Their love for God and Scripture enabled me to share 26 sermons and Bible studies in 19 days when I was last with them in March 2014.

Even my sins of losing $1,000,000 in 2005 drew me closer to Christ. When I lost our entire life savings and much much more, I felt devastated. I brought shame, pain and grief to my dear wife and children, to myself and to my church. But at this very nadir of my life, Jer 31:3 came to my heart. I was shocked that as I loathed myself I tasted the nearness of the kingdom of God through God’s everlasting love. It is true that nothing can separate God’s children from the love of God through Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom 8:38-39). I obviously do not advocate sinning. But my sin made me more bold, confident and fearless (Prov 28:1) with deep humility and tears (Ac 20:19) and with fear and trembling (Phil 2:12). Brian calls this a lamb-hearted lion.

Planting West Loop UBF church on Jan 4, 2008. In my heart and mind this is a miracle of God that I thought would never ever happen. But God, through UBF’s gracious leaders, granted their blessing and approval. Though the year long process was painstaking and gut wrenching, the result brought joy and tears of the kingdom of God to my heart. Even as I remember it today, I still taste and see that God is indeed good.

Sorry for this rambling reflection and abstract articulation about the kingdom and the church through my experience. Do share your thoughts about the Kingdom and Church and help me out. How have you experienced God and his kingdom?

“But the proper aim of giving is to put the recipient in a state where he no longer needs our gift. We feed children in order that they may soon be able to feed themselves; we teach them in order that they may soon not need our teaching. Gift-love…must work towards its own abdication. We must aim at making ourselves superfluous. The hour when we can say ‘They need me no longer’ shall be our reward. But (this) instinct…has no power to fulfill this law. The instinct desires the good of its object, but… A much higher love–a love which desires the good of the object as such, from whatever source that good comes–must step in and help or tame the instinct before it can make the abdication. And of course it often does. But where it does not, the ravenous need to be needed will gratify itself either by keeping its objects needy or by inventing for them imaginary needs.”

Applying this to leaders, shepherds, pastors, and Bible teachers, I would say the following:

Good Bible teachers make themselves unneeded. A good leader, Bible teacher, shepherd and pastor makes himself or herself unneeded. He or she make themselves expendable, dispensable, nonessential and superfluous. A good Bible teacher teaches so well until the student no longer needs the teacher to keep having to teach them. C.S. Lewis says, “we teach them in order that they may soon not need our teaching.” A good Bible teacher mentors, disciples and teach others so well such that the student can lead and teach the Bible independently of their teacher. The best Bible teachers inspire their Bible students to love God and to love the Bible and to become personally motivated and inspired to study the Bible for themselves. Basically the best Bible teachers work themselves out of a job. The best Bible teachers produce independent leaders and self-motivated learners. In contrast, poor leaders produce dependent leaders who do not have the confidence or courage to take risks and to make decisions on their own. Why does this happen?

Inferior Bible teachers refuse to release their student. They do not abdicate. In contrast to good teachers, suboptimal Bible teachers always cause their students to feel as though they desperately need them to always be their Bible teacher and shepherd all the days of their life. I heard about a 62 year old Bible teacher telling his 61 year old Bible student, “You must obey me because you have been my sheep for 40 years.” Based on his words, he still insists on demanding that his Bible student obeys him as his Bible teacher. He has refused to release his Bible student even after 4 decades and even after they are both grand-fathers. I cannot say that he is a good Bible teacher that others should learn from.

The problem with bad leaders is their need to be needed as leaders. C.S. Lewis explains this most eloquently: “…the ravenous need to be needed will gratify itself either by keeping its objects needy or by inventing for them imaginary needs.” Bad leaders make their students feel as though they cannot function independently of their leader. They make their students feel as though they always need their leader and teacher to lead them and to teach them even after many decades.

Have you experienced good teachers who make themselves unneeded? Or have you experienced needy teachers who make you feel as though you cannot succeed without them?

Lacking nothing

A charmed life. Recently I told a friend that I feel a little guilty (but not too much!) that I am just so darn happy. I feel content and too blessed by God virtually every day. I live such a charmed (and easy) life in perhaps the greatest country in the world. Being semi-retired from being a doctor, I spend every day doing what I want: preparing for my next sermon, reading books and blogs, writing, commenting and blogging, and these days I am binge-watching the first four seasons of The Good Wife on Amazon Prime! I hardly ever truly suffer, apart from encountering the daily annoyances of life, which is inevitable.

Bitter and angry. My friend seemed surprised when I expressed how happy I was. Perhaps the impression is that I am angry, bitter and discontented because of my dissatisfaction regarding issues I write about on UBFriends. Yes, some issues raised here are exasperating and frustrating. But even such annoyances adds tremendous fun and spice to my life! This is so simply because the Lord is my shepherd, who watches over me as my fortress, my rock, my deliverer, my shield, my salvation and my stronghold (Ps 18:2).

Bad shepherding. Peter says to his fellow elders, “Be shepherds of God’s flock” (1 Pet 5:2). Jesus says to Peter to take care of Jesus’ sheep (Jn 21:15-17). As with everything in life, shepherding people can be done well or poorly; it can be carried out with humility and condescension or with selfishness and elitism. Last year, someone asked me the question: “How may UBF communicate the best practice of shepherding”? My short answer is that good shepherding NEVER violates or imposes upon another person, just as Jesus never imposed himself on others against their will and free choice (Rev 3:20). Also, the father of the prodigal son did not impose himself on his two lost sons (Lk 15:11-32). Shepherding in the church always goes wrong when we impose our wish dream on others, or when we do not give people their freedom (cf. 2 Cor 3:17; Gal 5:1), usually through coercion, intimidation or bullying.

Pastor becomes God. Bad shepherding or pastoring happens when the human shepherd or pastor becomes like God and functionally and practically takes the place of God in the life of the person(s) being shepherded. For instance, this can happen if the shepherd is the one who decides if and when an adult can or cannot date, or if and when they can or cannot marry, to mention but two unquestioned implicit practices in UBF. Yes, many happy marriages have resulted, including mine. But in my opinion, dating and marriage policies should be seriously addressed, discussed and corrected in the church. It is because of the ongoing unhealthy authoritarian abuses, favoritism, discrimination, classism, politicking, control and manipulation that such practices have produced. Countless examples have already be given on this website.

The Lord alone is your shepherd. I am not advocating rebellion, disrespect or anarchy toward your human shepherd. But not all shepherding is Christ-like. Good shepherding should allow for critical thinking, disagreements and for creating a safe place (like UBFriends) where anyone can freely speak up and speak out. Consider some random questions:

1. Does expressing my happiness come across like bragging?
2. Are you happy because you sense and know that the Lord alone is your shepherd?
3. Are you unhappy because you experience your human shepherd trying to control you and tell you how to live?

Love. My dad died two decades ago in the mid-90s. My predominant memory of him is that he loved me dearly. When I was little boy he wrestled and bound me tightly so that I could not extricate myself from him. He released me only when I started crying loudly. He took me weekly to watch movies, especially Westerns. He bought me many toys. Once I wanted a whistle at a store. The seller would blow each whistle to test which whistle sounded the best and the loudest. But because he did this my dad ushered me away. He refused to buy me a whistle that someone else had put their unclean mouth to. This is a seemingly miniscule event. But somehow this is embedded in my memory as a story that my dad loves me and cares for me to the smallest detail.

Disillusion. My dad was my hero. I felt that he was the best, the greatest, the strongest and the most fearless man. But that image took a hit when I was a teenager. He felt numbness in one hand and weakness in one leg. He was diagnosed with cervical spondylosis–a slipped disk in his neck vertebrae. Surgery was recommended. His surgeon was reputed to be excellent. But he was cold, technical and uncompassionate. When he explained the procedure to my dad, he said matter-of-factly, “There is a 1-2% chance that you will become a quadriplegic.” This statement devastated my dad. He became very depressed. He couldn’t eat. He couldn’t sleep. He threw up. He lost weight. He was overcome by the fear of death. This disillusioned me because I painfully and reluctantly realized that my dad was not as tough and fearless as I thought he should be. It set me on an inner quest to consider why men fear death.

Blessing. My dad’s love for me never ever wavered. As a traditional old-fashioned Chinese man, my dad did not like mixed marriages. He did not like that I, his youngest son, would not be marrying a Chinese girl as he had hoped and expected. He was very disappointed. But because he loved me he gave me his blessing to marry an American woman without any reservation or protest or objection.

Regret. If I have a regret about my dad it is this. When he died of a cerebral hemorrhage from a recurrent subdural hematoma, I did not attend his funeral. I was in the U.S. attending a summer Bible conference when I received the news of his death. I wish I would have gone to his funeral to grieve with my mom and my older brother. But in the 1990s I thought that it would not please God to attend a funeral, since I would have to leave Chicago where I was carrying out many 1:1 Bible studies every week.

My memory of my loving dad moves me to tears. He never ever hurt or wounded me. He loved my mom. He worked hard as a responsible and honorable teacher and principal of a primary school. He is friendly, hospitable and very sociable. He welcomes anyone and everyone without discrimination or prejudice. Being Asian, he never said he loved me, and I also never told my dad that I loved him. But I never ever questioned his love for me. Even after two decades of his passing I still love him and I miss him.

Do you have any stories to share about your dad?

You didn’t do what I want! “Legalism is the tendency to regard as divine law things that God has neither required nor forbidden in Scripture, and the corresponding inclination to look with suspicion on others for their failure or refusal to conform.”

Become my slave. “There are professing Christians, who are determined to bring you under their religious thumb. They are bent on making you a slave of their conscience. They have built a tidy religious box…and they strive to stuff you inside and make you conform to its dimensions. They are legalists, and their tools are guilt, fear, intimidation, and self-righteousness. They proclaim God’s unconditional love for you, but insist on certain conditions before including you among the accepted, approved elite of God’s favored few.”

Conform and be controlled. “I’m not talking about people who insist that you obey certain laws or moral rules in order to be saved. Such people aren’t legalists. They are lost! They are easily identified and rebuffed. I’m talking about Christian legalists whose goal is to enforce conformity among other Christians in accordance with their personal preferences. They are lifestyle legalists. They heap condemnation and contempt of your head so that your life is controlled and energized by fear rather than freedom and joy and delight in God.”

Legalists NEVER think they are legalists. “Rarely would these folk ever admit to any of this. They don’t perceive or portray themselves as legalists. If they are reading this, they are convinced I’m talking about someone else. They’d never introduce themselves: ‘Hi, My name is Abraham (or Isaac or Jacob, etc). I’m a legalist and my goal is to steal your joy and keep you in bondage to my religious prejudices. Can I tell you all the things you’re doing wrong?’”

Please live in fear. “Some of you are either legalists or more likely victims of legalism. You live in fear of doing something that another Christian considers unholy, even though the Bible is silent on the subject. You are terrified of incurring others’ disapproval, disdain, and ultimate rejection. Worse still, you fear God’s rejection for violating religious traditions or cultural norms that have no basis in Scripture but are prized by legalists. You have been duped into believing that the slightest misstep or mistake will bring down God’s disapproval and disgust.”

Do you feel light or heavy? “When you are around other Christians, whether in church or before your leader(s):

• Do you feel free?
• Does your spirit feel relaxed or oppressed?
• Do you sense their acceptance or condemnation?
• Do you feel judged, inadequate, inferior, guilty, immature, all because of your perceived failure to conform to what someone else regards as ‘holy’?

Jesus wants to set you free from such bondage! As Paul said, ‘you were called to freedom!’”

Are you free in Christ, or are you living in fear as a victim of legalism?

• Trust God, not yourself (Prov 3:5).
• Love God and others (Mt 22:37-39; Mk 12:30-31).
• Believe that God is good (Rom 8:28).

First, trust God, not yourself (Prov 3:5). I said, “One thing you should do every single day as a Christian is to trust God, as Prov 3:5 says.” I said this because she said that she is not motivated to read the Bible daily due to feeling overwhelmed by many things to do. I encouraged her to trust God, have faith in God and believe that God is with her to help her, even if she does not read the Bible. She could recite just one verse such as Prov 3:5 (or certain other favorite verses) with the spirit of contemplation, meditation, reflection, prayer and introspection before God. This could be her communion with God daily while brushing her teeth, taking a shower, getting dressed, preparing breakfast, traveling to and from school, etc, even if she does not read the Bible. She asked me what verse I took for myself. I shared that Mt 6:33 was the first verse I recited daily every morning when I first became a Christian in 1980.

I explained that trusting God or reciting some Bible verse is not some secret formula for spiritual exhilaration or enlightenment, since every Christian goes through phases that St. John of the Cross calls “the dark night of the soul.” I encouraged her to trust God and to trust Jesus (Jn 14:1) even when she feels dry, disconnected and distant from God.

Second, love God and others (Mt 22:37-39; Mk 12:30-31). A healthy introspection would be primarily directed toward God and others, for Jesus commands us to love God and others. I encouraged her to pray to find ways to genuinely love and serve others. An unhealthy introspection would be selfishly concerned with ourselves and our own happiness. Yet as Socrates said to know thyself, we should seek to truly know ourselves, for without a true knowledge of ourselves, we would not grow in a true knowledge of who God is.

To trust God we must know the truth that God loves us even when we feel distant from him, and that He forgives us even when we are sinning. Our unwavering confidence in the unconditional and unchanging love of God for us is the strongest motivator for us to stay close to Christ.

Third, believe that God is good (Rom 8:28). I said, “The third thing that every Christian should do every day is to believe that God is good, even when bad things happen to us.” I regard Rom 8:28 as the “best verse” for Christians. Every person has their own criteria and preference for what they regard as good or bad. Joseph surely thought that being sold into slavery by his brothers was bad as he pleaded for his life (Gen 42:21). Yet, through this brutal horrible event, God intended for good to happen through Joseph’s life (Gen 50:20). I encouraged her to trust the God who loves her and to believe that God is good even through what she may regard as bad in her own life.

How might you counsel a Christian who asks you what they should do when they feel distant and disconnected with God?

I quoted Bonhoeffer: “God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community (wish dream) demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren…”

After the sermon I was asked, “Are you saying that the church should not have a vision or a dream? I thought it is always good for us to have a vision and a dream for the church.”

So is a wish dream bad? Bonhoeffer says, “Every human wish dream that is injected into the Christian community is a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished if genuine community is to survive. He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial.” “He acts as if he is the creator of the Christian community, as if his dream binds men together.”

My random thoughts are these. Every person has some dream, vision or hope. My dream is that West Loop Church increasingly becomes a gospel community where Christ is preached and lived out, and where anyone and everyone is welcomed without prejudice and without being imposed upon. But this was not my dream in the past. Prior to West Loop starting in 2008 my dream, given to UBF by Dr. Lee, was to make America a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.

UBF’s wish dreams are expressed in our “core values” (and in prayer topics and announcements). Our initial wish dream when I came to UBF in 1980 was to pray for UBF Bible teachers in 561 American campuses and 231 nations of the world. This dream gave me a motivation of how I could practically love Jesus with all my heart. I read the Bible once a year. Every week I spent hours studying and teaching Dr. Lee’s Sun sermons, answered the Bible study questions, prepared Bible study binders, wrote testimonies, and carried out an average of 10 1:1 Bible studies a week. I gave “message training” to my Bible students for decades. With Dr. Lee’s support, I helped dozens of them to marry by faith for UBF world campus mission. I did this for over 25 years. I have no regrets about any of this because I did so with a clear conscience to love Jesus.

What then is the problem? It was that my wish dream became my identity and my sense of self-worth. It became the core of who I was. My “wish” to fulfill my “(UBF) dream” became my will, my demand, my obsession, my sensibility, my imposition on my church community, and worst of all it became my Christ, my everything. I forget that human beings are NOT the ones to create the community.

Last week a friend shared with me a “wish dream” by a top UBF leader who said (I’m paraphrasing), “Being a 1:1 Bible teacher and testimony writing is absolute.” Besides violating the freedom taught in Galatians, such a wish dream according to Bonhoeffer is “a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished if genuine community is to survive.”

Is wish dream a concept easily understood by UBF?

Can UBF stop propagating the UBF wish dream?

Can UBF understand why the UBF wish dream hinders genuine community?

Thanks for the helpful comments last week on A is for Accountability. As a result I stressed how important it is regarding who we choose to be accountable to. This resonated with some as they lamented that what they had shared in confidence was used against them. Regarding accountability I asked three questions during the sermon:

1. Do you have a Nathan? (Who are you accountable to?)
2. Are you a Nathan? (Who are you accountable for?)
3. Do you know your ultimate Nathan, who did not confront you for your sins, but died for your sins?

My short (and incomplete) answers are my wife, my friends and my Jesus.

After the sermon an elder of our church confessed publicly to the entire congregation about an episode from three decades ago where he became a father before he married his present wife. He had not planned to say this, but was prompted to share it as he heard my sermon. He wanted to be accountable to the church for what he had done. It was a tender moment and full of the grace of our Lord.

Two sisters in Christ who previously misunderstood each other both decided to be accountable for each other. They began to share with each other freely what was in their hearts, which they could not do so before. I believe that accountability must be driven by the gospel and the Spirit and not ourselves.

The three parts of my sermon on Beauty (using the word loosely) are:

1. Wired for beauty.
2. Deceived by beauty.
3. Restored through beauty.

God created us to love and to be loved by him. We were created to be fulfilled and attracted to God through all of creation that reflects his goodness and majesty. But we were deceived by counterfeit beauties and brought endless tragedy and woe upon ourselves. Now, only through the ultimate beauty of God expressed through the gospel can we ever be restored, redeemed and reconciled.

My plan is to share how Isaac was deceived by the “beauty” of his older twin son Esau and showed favoritism to him over Jacob, which damaged both sons. Esau became arrogant. Jacob became wounded. In searching for the love of his father that he never experienced, Jacob was deceived by the “beauty” of Rachel and then by her son Joseph, which wounded and nearly destroyed his entire family of 12 sons. Despite such deep seated multi-generational pathology, God extended grace upon grace in order to bring to fruition his plan of redemption, which would ultimately cost him His Son. This is the beauty of redemption that can restore us and compel us to gaze on the beauty of the Lord all the days of our life (Ps 27:4).

I was transformed through the majestic beauty of God who loved me unconditionally and showed me mercy, forgiveness and grace despite myself. I regard it as my mystical conversion.

My hope and prayer is that through my sermon we may be enamored and enraptured by the beauty of God through Christ. Did I succeed?

1. Why it’s important: sin deceives and traps all of us without exception.
2. How to do it: humbly and gently with the Spirit’s help.
3. What not to do: being conceited and thinking we are better than others.
4. Who did it best: Only Jesus was perfectly accountable.

Everyone needs to be accountable, even top leaders. Using the account of Nathan confronting David (2 Sam 12:1-14) and Paul rebuking Peter (Gal 2:11-14), my thesis is that two most prominent leaders–one in the OT (King David) and one in the NT (the apostle Peter)–were caught in sin and needed to be held accountable and restored. It does not matter if one is a new Christian or a top leader in the church, everyone needs someone to be accountable to. I hope to encourage my congregation to seek out someone they trust to be accountable to and to be accountable to others. The two questions I pose are:

1. Do you have a Nathan?
2. Are you a Nathan to others?

Shame or selfishness. We might be reluctant to seek out an accountability partner because of shame of confessing our sins and shortcomings, or a reluctance to expose our own dirty laundry. We might also be reluctant to be accountable for others because of selfishness. But our lives will surely be enriched when we have someone to be accountable to and for.

There is only One who was perfectly accountable. Ultimately we all fail being accountable to God and to others because of our shame and selfishness. But there is One who was accountable to God and to others…unto death. He was perfectly accountable to God and to us at the cost of his life. When we realize this and to the degree that we understand this, we too will be compelled to be accountable to God and to others.

Do you have someone you are accountable to and for?

Are you free from legalism?

How to make the apostle Paul very angry. All Christians say that faith in Jesus and the gospel is all we need for life and salvation. But practically some Christians and churches communicate–explicitly or implicitly–that faith in Christ is not quite enough. In Paul’s day, Jewish Christians (the Judaizers) taught the Gentile Christians that in addition to believing in Christ they must keep Jewish traditions–circumcision, dietary laws, special days–in order to become “fully Christian.” This so outraged Paul that he did not express any pleasantries or thanksgiving after his introduction (Gal 1:1-5), as he did in his other 12 epistles. Instead he immediately launched into them (Gal 1:6ff) by directly confronting and accusing them of deserting Christ and distorting, changing and perverting the gospel (Gal 1:6b-7). To those who taught that additions to the gospel were needed (which is no gospel at all), Paul cursed them with God’s curse…twice in two verses (Gal 1:8-9). Boy was he mad!

A junior rebuking a senior publicly. Compared to Peter, Paul was a “junior” apostle. Yet, in that orderly structured hierarchical Jewish culture, Paul rebuked Peter publicly (not privately). Then he openly shared and circulated this embarrassing and shameful account in a letter to be read in all the churches (Gal 2:11-14). Today it is like sending out a mass email to everyone in the church! Imagine Peter, the rock of the church (Mt 16:18), committing such a basic sin and getting publicly rebuked by a junior! Peter’s sin was “deviating from the truth of the gospel” (Gal 2:14) when he withdrew from eating together with Gentile Christians. By his behavior he was saying that Jewish Christians were better than Gentile Christians because they kept the tradition of Jewish dietary laws. By making this distinction Peter communicated that the gospel of God’s grace was insufficient for salvation and good standing as a Christian. He was stating by his action that justification was not just by faith, but also by the works of the law (Gal 2:16).

For over 25 years, without realizing it, I added to the gospel whenever I taught the Bible. Basically, I added (strictly enforced!) all the activities of the church to the gospel: marrying by faith, no dating without permission, writing out answers to Bible study questions, preparing Bible study binders, writing testimonies, going fishing, feeding sheep 1:1, never ever missing any church meetings (don’t you dare!), always wearing a tie in church, addressing other Christians with titles, etc. None of these “additions” were necessarily bad or wrong. In fact, I thought I was a “cut-above” Christian, not a nominal Christian. But I inadvertently communicated that Christ alone or the gospel alone was insufficient and inadequate to be regarded as a good Christian. So today, I’m done writing testimonies along with being done with…

• fishing,
• going on campus,
• preparing Bible study binders,
• having 1:1 Bible studies,
• restricting dating among singles,
• teaching “marriage by faith,”
• giving “message training”,
• “training” people,
• attending “mandatory” church meetings,
• attending all Bible conferences,
• addressing fellow Christians with titles,
• “copying” messages and manuscripts, etc.

I’m not opposed to any of the above and would encourage some people to seriously consider them, if they are so inclined. But I am convinced that putting any undue emphasis or pressure to conform to any church practices and traditions would invariably teach what Paul calls “a different gospel—which is really no gospel at all” (Gal 1:6-7). To Paul, such “Bible teachers” should castrate or emasculate themselves (Gal 5:12). Worse yet, it invites an eternal curse from God (Gal 1:8-9).

Are you free from legalism? Or do you feel that something else is required from you in addition to your faith in the gospel?

There are countless good commentaries on Galatians. The books I have read and do not hesitate recommending are:

1. John R.W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way, The Bible Speaks Today (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 1968).
2. Timothy Keller, Galatians For You, God’s Word For You (Epsom, Surrey, England: The Good Book Company, 2013).
3. Philip Graham Ryken, Galatians, Reformed Expository Commentary (Phillipsburg, New Jersey: P&R Publishing Company, 2005).

Warning: This is a random, rambling, ruminating reflection!

I trivialized feelings because I misunderstood the nature of God in that though God is One (Dt 6:4; Mk 12:29), yet He is three Persons: the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (Mt 28:19; 2 Cor 13:14; Eph 4:4-6; Rev 1:4-5). Since we are made in the image of the triune God, I schematized this as follows:

A healthy, balanced Christian life embraces all three aspects of our being: heart, mind and will. But since we are fallen, flawed and fallible beings, we invariably are unbalanced, become unbalanced, and would need frequent correctives. At the risk of oversimplification and generalization let’s arbitrarily divide the world as having three kinds of churches.

“Doing” churches. Churches like UBF strongly emphasize mission and what we do. Then there is a tendency for the mind/thinking and heart/feeling to become underdeveloped. Critical thinking and emotion may be ignored or disregarded. Often this happens unnoticed, as I did not realize for the longest time just how horrible it came across when I said, “Feelings don’t matter.” I thought I was being spiritual and holy in carrying out my duty and doing what I should as a Christian, regardless of anything and everything else. To me action and obedience was far more important than critical thinking or emotional expression.

“Feeling” churches. Charismatic churches emphasize emotion as the predominant expression of one’s faith. The fallout potentially could be that we sacrifice reflection and intellectual pursuit, and we might act based on how we feel more than based on what is good and right. In the worse case scenario it could result in expressions of emotion without substance or action.

“Thinking” churches. These may be churches that emphasize sound doctrine and Bible study as crucial and fundamental for the faith. The result may be inadequate action or a disregard for emotion, i.e., a dead orthodoxy. Being a cerebrally inclined person, I minimized feelings and emotions. Though such Christians may be confident and sure that they are living by the Book, those who know them simply want to throw the book at them.

We Christians are a mixed bag. By God’s mercy and grace, I believe we should embrace our being in totality by having:

We Christians should be generous toward those who are different from us. It is too easy to criticize someone who lives out their Christianity in ways we may not agree with. Cessationists may accuse charismatics of shallow emotionalism. Charismatics may accuse cessationists of joyless orthodoxy. Let us rather be gracious toward one another.

What is the predominant expression of your Christianity? How are you doing in balancing heart, mind and will?

This past weekend

The resurrection is life transforming. In keeping with my earlier requests for critique of my sermons, I welcome critique of my sermon on Luke 24 which I preached on Sat, Apr 19: The Resurrection Changes Everything. I wanted to explain four ways the resurrection changes everything: (1) Life transforming; (2) Scripture clarifying; (3) Paradigm shattering; and (4) King establishing. But I got carried away with the first point and concluded my sermon by stressing that the resurrection is not a consolation for our loss (especially of our dearly beloved ones), but a complete restoration of our loss. (I did not touch on the final three points, which you can read here.)

A non-PDA person. In the first few minutes I expressed my appreciation of those who raise their hands in worship in heart felt awe during the singing. But I explained that I keep my hands in my pocket because I am a “non-PDA sort of person.” I wanted to assure everyone that my heart goes out in worship to my God every bit as much as them with their hands in the air…even though my hands are in my pocket!

Change the world. I began my sermon by explaining my favorite 20 second trailer of the movie Son of God where Jesus calls Peter to his disciple. When Jesus got Peter’s attention by granting him a miraculous catch of fish, Peter looked startled and asked, “How did this happen?” Jesus leaned forward and said, “Come with me.” Peter asked, “What are we going to do?” Jesus said, “Change the world.”

My title–The Resurrection Changes Everything–sounds grandiose. Let me know if my preaching and extemporaneous delivery lived up to the title. Feel free to also share what the resurrection means to you.

This picture shows the disciples vehemently arguing among themselves as to which of them was considered to be the greatest (Lk 22:24), followed by Jesus’ emphatic assertion and imperative command that his disciples should not lord over others like the rulers of the Gentiles (Lk 22:25-26). Notice Jesus illustrating this important point–often ignored by the church hierarchy–with his index finger.

This dramatic picture shows Peter impulsively and spontaneously reacting to Jesus being arrested by swiftly slicing off the right ear of the servant of the high priest (Lk 22:50). Then Jesus touched and healed the man’s ear (Lk 22:51), followed by his surrender to the mob, saying, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come with swords and clubs? Every day I was with you in the temple courts, and you did not lay a hand on me. But this is your hour—when darkness reigns” (Lk 22:52-53).

This picture shows an angry high priest exclaiming in their kangaroo court, “Why do we need any more testimony? We have heard it from his own lips” (Lk 22:71), as Jesus stood helplessly and bound by ropes.

Finally, this last illustration is of Jesus on the road to Emmaus walking with the two men who were kept from recognizing Jesus (Lk 24:19-29).

Each drawing on each page drew out the drama and emotion of the biblical text (HCSB), especially the facial expressions of each character. Jesus looks haggard and rugged, even ugly without beauty or majesty (Isa 53:2), unlike typical Hollywood portrayals, such as the recent Son of God. Those who love looking at pictures would love the book. It would encourage children (or adults) who are not inclined to read the Bible to be captivated by the drawings and be drawn into the story.

This unique interesting book is written by Alex Webb-Peploe (pencils, inks, colors) and Andre Parker (art direction, design, colors). I received this book from The Good Book Company via Cross Focused Reviews for my review. The opinions expressed are mine. This is disclosed in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Déjà vu came over me

1998. It reminded me of the first 25 years of my Christian life in Chicago. My abridged version is “woe is me” followed by “1-12-120:” read the whole Bible in a year, feed 12 sheep a week and raise a 120 member fellowship. Here’s a real Ben Toh testimony from 1998 that was my past self. He needs a severe rebuke. Done! So I refrain from doing so again. Similar comments may be made to this noble man.

To charitably consider both sides, I believe he is a truly noble, sincere Christian.He states his inadequacy and (perceived) failure regarding his family and his church: “my children’s struggles and church’s stagnancy were big blows to me…I was lazy and complacent.” Then he set a specific goal of “1-15-20-25” in order to love God with his whole being (Dt 6:5).

Self-loathing and self-flagellation. He mentions receiving much grace and that God is good. Yet his sincere testimony is basically self-loathing. An apt quote by Richard Foster says, “Most of us have been exposed to such a mutilated form of biblical submission that either we have embraced the deformity or we have rejected the Discipline altogether. To do the former leads to self-hatred; to do the latter leads to self-glorification.” It reminds me of countless similar testimonies I have heard for decades and written myself thousands of times, as I did in 1998.

Arrogance in disguise. Because of anthropocentrity, the solution to our problems is deemed to be greater human effort and resolve. It sounds noble. But it is pride and arrogance in disguise. We should be responsible but fail. We think the solution is a firm resolve to “work harder, try harder, pray more, sacrifice more.” Such a testimony does not point to the finished work of Christ (Jn 19:30), nor to the gospel of God’s grace (Ac 20:24).

It’s up to you. The entire solution is the grace of Jesus (1 Cor 15:10), living by the Spirit (Gal 5:16), and a total dependency on God (Prov 3:5), which is sadly lacking when the focus is on self and human resolve. It communicates the thought that God loves us and is pleased with us when we perform well. Otherwise, you better shape up and pull yourself up by your bootstraps. It is not dissimilar from the gospel of self-help.

God loves you even when you mess up. I know we Christians believe this. Do we dare to preach such a radical gospel?

If God loves man, why does he command him not to eat the forbidden fruit?

“What kind of a God is this?” This question made me very angry. I thought to myself, “God is setting the man up to fail! He put this tree right in the middle of the garden where he will always see it, and says, ‘You must not eat it!’ (Gen 2:9, 17) It’s like putting a stunningly attractive woman in the room with you and saying, ‘Don’t even look at her.’” [I was a non-Christian, single and very lonely at the time!] I was confused and confounded for half an hour by my table in my poorly lit doctor’s dormitory room.

God is God. As I pondered, it was as though I heard the words “God is God.” My understanding was that God had every right to command the man to not eat the forbidden fruit simply because he is God! With this realization it felt as though I entered a timeless luminous state with my young life in my twenties flashing before my eyes. For a few hours, it felt as though I existed in a bright eternal timeless state.

When I realized that God is God, I acknowledged and understood the following for the first time in my life:

* God is my Creator God who created me and gave me my life. This seems so obvious (Rom 1:20). Yet it was the first time I had ever thought or considered this.

* All my life to that point, I lived with no thought of God. Everything I ever did , decided, planned and thought about was only for myself, my benefit and my pleasure (Phil 3:19). If I ever mentioned God, it was only to curse and swear at him in anger for feeling frustrated, even though I did not believe in God!

* For the first time I felt the weight and the horror of my sins. I wept for several hours considering that I owe everything to my God, yet all I ever did was to live for myself and no one else (2 Tim 3:2-4).

* I was shocked that I was still alive! Realizing that I had lived in willful unrestrained rebellion against God, I was genuinely shocked that God did not and has not destroyed me! I wondered, “How could God have let me live for so long, when I completely disregarded my God who has given me everything, including my very life?”

* I felt Hitler was a better man than I. I thought, “At least everyone knows how terrible Hitler was. But I pretended to be good in order to look good, while inside I was full of unspeakable, immoral, nasty, wicked, vicious ungodly thoughts” (Mt 15:18-19; Mk 7:20-22).

* I understood that God loves me and that my sins were forgiven. My tears of emotions fluctuated between my rebellion against God, and God’s grace freely extended to me. I knew how horrible I was, and yet I was completely loved and forgiven. I couldn’t believe how this could ever be. Before studying the gospels and the cross, I understood and experienced God’s limitless mercy, love, grace, kindness, patience, tolerance, forbearance, etc. I understood the gospel of my salvation before knowing anything about the atonement.

* A bright light filled my room. While feeling as though I was in a timeless eternal state, I also felt my room being inexplicably transcendently bright and radiant for several hours, even though it was night! It felt like the radiance and brightness of God’s very presence (2 Sam 22:13; Eze 1:27b-28), and like being in the presence of One who lives in unapproachable light (1 Tim 6:16).

When that day began I was not a Christian. That night I became one. The next day I knew I had become a different person (2 Cor 5:17), saved only by the grace of God. Ever since then, I prayed that God would enable me to testify to his grace all of my days (Ac 20:24).

I have no doubt that my entire mystical conversion experience was the work of God and the supernatural working of the Holy Spirit.

Do you have a conversion story to tell?

1. Easily bored. I’ve said often that a great sin of Christians or the church is being boring (and predictable), because Jesus was never boring! When told that they are committing the sin of killing people with boredom, they say that the complainers are unspiritual and sinful. But in the gospels, it is the unspiritual and sinful that are attracted to Jesus! The ones who disliked Jesus were the boring people among the religious leaders.

2. Risk takers. The church is often accused of keeping the status quo and being stuck in the past. She tends not to be creative and innovative, but boring and predictable (sorry for the repetition!). The church is risk averse. But Jesus was the greatest risk taker who risked everything for a venture that would cost him his life…and he asks his disciples to do the same.

3. Color outside the lines. If you created the lines, you’d really be very upset by such people. Didn’t the religious leaders nail Jesus for breaking the law of Moses? Does the church hierarchy not try to impose their outdated and tired religious tradition on the younger generation?

4. Think with their heart. Jesus loves God with all his heart and he asks his disciples to do likewise (Mt 22:37; Mk 12:30). If we think with our head our heart shrinks and we become fearful and overly cautious (often in the name of being prayerful!). If we think with our heart, our life blossoms and we live in the freedom of the Spirit (2 Cor 3:17).

5. Make lots of mistakes. I love this trait. But perfectionists, legalists, traditionalists and rule keepers fear making mistakes and looking bad. Incidentally, Jesus seemed to have made such a big mistake that he lost his life for it.

6. Hate the rules. This is my favorite. Jesus was killed because he was accused of breaking the rules (the BIBLE no less!). The most Bible-centered Jews accused Paul of breaking the law (of antinomianism) whenever he preached the gospel (Rom 6:1, 15), which is the gospel of God’s grace (Ac 20:24). The Dalai Lama says, “Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. Rules are meant to be broken.” Will the church ever learn this?

7. Work independently. Jesus’ most important daily work was done alone when he prayed all night (Lk 6:12) and when he got up early in the morning to pray (Mk 1:35).

8. Change their mind a lot. Creative people change their mind often because they are not rigid and stubborn. They always weigh all options and thus are open, accommodating and flexible. The God of the OT is often recorded as the God who seems to be changing his mind (“repenting” in some older translations) depending on the circumstances and situation.

9. Have a reputation for eccentricity. Creative people see what common ordinary people do not. So they seem odd, weird, absent minded, eccentric or even egocentric.

10. Dream big. In the trailer of the movie The Son of God Jesus called Peter to be his disciple. When Peter asked Jesus what they were going to do, Jesus spontaneously said with a smile, “Change the world.” Don’t we just love Jesus? (Of course, this is creative liberty, but cute.)

Which of these traits resonate with you?

I was sad and sorry to hear how Christians treat non-Christians, including their own family. I shared with him how I understand his brother because like his brother I too had behaved similarly toward my own family after I became a Christian. I apologized to him for such unbecoming, unChrist-like, elitist, exclusive, rude and inexcusable behavior by Christians toward non-Christians, which is clearly unbiblical.

I explained to him why I thought Christians behave in such unloving ways. They seem to treat their own non-Christian family the worst. In my opinion, much of it comes from misunderstanding certain verses about a Christian’s “spiritual family” or “church family,” which then causes some Christians to behave as though our birth family is no longer our true family:

* Unless you hate your own family, you cannot be my disciple (Lk 14:26; Mt 10:37).

* Your true spiritual family are those who do God’s will (Mt 12:48-50; Mk 3:34-35).

* Those who leave their human family will be rewarded with eternal life (Mt 19:29; Mk 10:29-30).

* Shake the dust off your feet when someone (including family) rejects the gospel (Mt 10:14; Mk 6:11; Lk 9:5).

When Christians read such verses, they might think that they should be clear with their non-Christian family and friends. I am sorry that I more or less disconnected myself for two decades from my old friends and my family because of my misunderstanding and unbiblical practical application of such verses.

It should be obvious (but obviously it is not!) that when Jesus spoke such verses, he spoke them as the God of love, grace, mercy, kindness, patience, generosity, gentleness, forbearance, etc. There is no justification for using such verses to justify being rude, disrespectful, elitist, exclusive, superior or sanctimonious. Because of his brother’s behavior, my friend said he is agnostic and on the way to being atheist. Yet he is a kind, considerate, well-mannered, helpful, respectful, loving person, seemingly more so than his Christian brother. He also said how much kinder and gentler his Buddhist and non-Christian friends are compared to his brother.

God is the God of all people. Yet, some Christians act as though God is only the God of Christians, or the God who favors their particular brand of Christianity.

What has your experience been? How might we Christians emulate and exemplify the God of love toward all people?

I love my four kids

The happiest and greatest compliment I ever received! After my oldest son, Sam, read my blog, How did you raise your kids as a pastor (The ABCs of godly parenting), he made this comment on Facebook:

“After reading your article, and the comments, I would have to say that what I believe was, and is, your biggest strength as a father is the humble and learning mind you exemplify. Though you come across as strong and stubborn at times (to say it nicely :D), I know that God is living and active in your life. You have poured your life into God’s word and allowed him to bring you to faith as a foreigner in the U.S., to marry mom after only 10 months in UBF, to be a “UBF man” for however many years, and then to an even deeper faith now rooted in His grace. You opened up yourself to all of us (your kids) along this journey and you’ve never been stubborn enough to not change and not listen to us. Also, you’ve always given us the space and opportunity to speak our mind and “argue” with you. That’s what I respect most.”

God’s grace. Everything Sam says is nothing but God’s immeasurable grace to me. God created me cerebrally and intellectually inclined. He planted in me the desire to treasure Scripture, and to read, study, learn and relearn. God loves me despite my almost unbending stubbornness (which is really “saying it nicely”!). Samuel Lee called me stone-headed. Sometimes, my wife exclaims, “Stop talking! That’s enough! You give me such a headache!” Yes, God blessed my life abundantly in a foreign land with a woman who has been my joy and delight for 32 years and counting.

Fearing a man. In a comment, my daughter Agi expressed how for 27 years I was rigidly legalistic because I lived in the fear of Samuel Lee. I remember it well. I am still processing it. I am not bitter or resentful toward Lee or God. In fact, my memories of Lee are positive and fond, despite everyone in UBF fearing him (cf. Prov 29:25). This is NOT an excuse or a justification, but a fact: No church is perfect (even if some think that UBF has no weaknesses!). I am sorry that the fear of man in me painted a not so gentle loving embracing magnanimous fatherly dying and living God to my children.

Arguing with dad. My happiest memories were when my kids argued vehemently with me. They were never rude or disrespectful, even if they were passionate and unrelenting. I thank God that they were always free to be themselves and free to express themselves. I have to say that with most of our arguments my kids were right (even if I might not acknowledge it!). I thank God that I learned so much from each of them, far more than they may have learned from their dad. Such is the marvelous grace of our Lord!

Gentler, kinder. Some people I studied the Bible with in the 80s and 90s said that today I am “soft,” compared to how strict I was in the past. My response with a big happy smile is, “If you really think I’m soft….try me!” Some laugh. Some say, “Dr. Ben, that’s really scary.” Funny or scary, God has mellowed me, though I am still the fighter that God made me to be. I feel gentler and kinder today, which makes my wife happy, which then makes me happy.

I thank God for my children’s love, whether through arguments or compliments. A previous (unintended) compliment paid me was when a couple asked me if my wife of 30 years had any sins, since they could not detect any.

Sorry for my random rambling reflections. (I am just happy because of the grace of Jesus.) Please feel free to share your random happy (or sad) stories and the compliments you experienced.

A is for authenticity. I believe that Christy (my wife) and I lived authentically as Christians to the best of our (limited and imperfect) ability (1 Cor 15:10). I was who I am in Christ whether I was in church or at home. My sense of my subjective self was no different in church or at home. As best as I can tell I was not “more holy” at church and “more relaxed” at home. I was and am the exact same sinner saved purely by grace alone–both at church and at home. Once, a teacher asked my son in first grade what three things his dad likes. I thought he would say, “Jesus, Bible study and studying the Bible with others.” Instead, he said, “Football, eating peanuts and my mom.” I was stunned beyond words by his response! But I know he is right. I can only be myself and rely on God’s grace by faith.

B is for beauty (Ps 27:4; Isa 33:17). I know personally and experientially that living as a Christian and a Christ-follower is the best life that anyone can ever live. I wanted my kids to know that my life as a Christian was not a burden, nor an imposition, nor an unwelcomed duty forced upon us. Rather, it was a joy, a privilege and a sheer delight that nothing in the world can compare with. I believe my kids saw that their parents were not forcing it, faking it or fudging it, but that we were truly enjoying our life and thanking God for the life and the grace that God has freely given us through Christ by the work of the Holy Spirit, even though we did not deserve an ounce of the good life that we are living.

C is for constancy in Christ. My constancy in Christ and consciousness of Christ’s presence is God’s mercy and grace to me (Heb 13:5; Dt 31:6; Jer 31:3; Mt 28:20; 2 Tim 4:17). My love for Christ was not different while having fellowship in church, or while having personal devotion and Bible study at home. I pray that my kids do not perceive that I am different in different scenarios or places. They should see, perceive and know that I am the exact same sinner saved by grace everywhere I am (Eph 2:8-9).

C is for confession of sin (Jas 5:16; 1 Jn 1:9; Ps 32:5). I should not hide, evade or make excuses for my sin either in church or at home. I should freely acknowledge and confess my sins before the church and before my kids unashamedly, yet confident of God’s mercy, grace and unconditional love for me. Sam, my oldest son, said, “Whenever I am not sure what to do, I would think about what my dad would do. Then….I would do the opposite!” I praise God and love him for this!

D is for delight (Ps 37:4). I hope that my kids see and know that Christy and I are living a life of love, joy and peace (Gal 5:22-23). Despite our many faults and failings, I hope they know that we bask confidently in the abundance of God’s love poured out on us through Christ and the Spirit (Rom 5:5).

D is for desire. My desire for my kids was not to excel in school, nor to behave in church. My singular desire was that they know Jesus (Phil 3:10) and the love of God through Christ (Jn 3:16). I told them, “I would rather you disobey me as your dad, than to disobey God secretly in your heart.” Perhaps, they don’t remember this. But that was always my heart’s desire.

E is for Ex 20:5, my parenting key verse. It says, “punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.” (1984 NIV. I was relieved that the 2011 NIV says, “the sin of the parents…”) This verse struck fear in my heart. I knew that if God held firmly to this, then all my four kids would be punished for their dad’s sin. I could only cry out for God’s mercy. In the final analysis, if my kids turn out well, it is only God’s doing, God’s grace and God’s mercy. It is clearly not because of their dad, but in spite of him.

As a parent, what are your parenting ABCs? As PKs or if you grew up in a Christian home, what has been your experience?

Very useful points for me to note are:

1. “Dismissing an entire community’s efforts.” I failed to realize this.
2. “It is not necessarily my duty to always cover all grounds.” Yet, I should do my best to do so.
3. “Not countering what I write with any mention of people’s good underlying, heart’s intention.” I’ve done this occasionally, but not often enough.
4. “Some, even many do have a right heart’s motive.” I believe that this is true, and that they would be hurt by the dismissive way I write.
5. “They may have been misled to think that using social pressure is okay.” I keep pounding this point, but I perhaps should back off on this, or write about this very tenderly and gingerly (which I may not know how to do).
6. “Many people just want to be used by God for the salvation of souls and the development of Jesus’ disciples.” Without a doubt I know that this is true. I should remember Phil 1:18.

I thought this is so useful for me to remember and consider every time I need to express myself or write something. Any additional useful pointers? Refutations?

The sin beneath the sin

My identity was as a UBF man for 27 years (1980-2007). I am a Christian. I tasted the love of God through the marvelous grace of Jesus. But my identity was in my faithfulness to never miss a UBF Sun worship service, never miss any meetings, never miss writing a testimony every week, never missing any UBF conferences, having 10 1:1 Bible studies a week, etc. I did well as a UBF man. Yet, though I love Jesus, my identity was not in Christ but in what others in UBF expected of me. I was an “exemplary UBF shepherd” and supposedly the “best American UBF shepherd,” which is quite embarrassing, if not funny. (Thank God that it is not so any more!)

A Christian identity that is not in Christ. I am again reading James Danaher’s excellent book Eyes That See, Ears That Hear, that Brian reviewed. Chapter 4 alone–The Sermon on the Mount and the Concept of Sin–is worth the price of the book. Danaher explains how many Christians (and Pharisees) view sin as doing something bad, such as breaking the Ten Commandments. But their sin is ultimately in finding their identity in something else other than Christ.

Anger. We know murder is a sin. But Jesus says “that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister…will be in danger of the fire of hell” (Mt 5:22). It means that anger becomes our source of energy and strength, rather than finding our energy and strength in Christ alone. It is sad when Christians, in anger, slander other Christians because of disagreements about doctrine, tradition or methodology.

Lust. We know adultery is a sin. But Jesus says “that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Mt 5:28). It suggests that off limits romantic and sexual thoughts gives us energy, excitement and direction in a way that should be reserved for God alone.

Oaths (my “prayer topics”). Jesus says to make no oath (Mt 5:33-36). Why? We think we are good and noble when we keep our word: “I promise to go fishing once a week and feed three sheep each week.” We like to think that we are people of our word and that our word is enough to motivate us to do what we promised. So we derive our strength and motivation by keeping our word, which can serve as a source of strength and identity apart from God.

Punishing others. We love an “eye for eye, tooth for tooth,” but Jesus says, “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also” (Mt 5:38-39). Yeah, right! We easily focus on the sins of others and find energy and motivation through scheming ways of how to punish and shame them. But with God alone as our source of energy and strength, we can turn the other cheek, because we want to love others as Christ loved us, instead of giving them what we think their sins deserve.

Loving enemies (Mt 5:43-45). Jesus loved Judas to the end (Jn 13:1). But when we speculate or imagine that someone in church might be a Judas, we marginalize and exclude them rather than love them. The only way to love an enemy is if we are connected to an incredibly loving and forgiving God as the source of our being and identity. Such love is behind everything Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount.

Desire for honor and recognition. When you suffer and sacrifice for Bible students, do you share in your mission report to make sure that others know just how much you suffered and sacrificed (cf. Mt 6:2)? Jesus said that doing so means that we are seeking an identity founded on prestige, reputation, honor and the recognition of others, rather than on our relationship with God.

Is your identity in Christ alone and driven by love? Or might your identity be driven by anger, the desire to punish others for their sins (real or imagined!), or the desire to be honored and recognized?

Look!

1. Is There No Other Way?
2. Why Have You Forsaken Me?
3. Where, O Death, Is Your Victory?
4. Why Do You Seek the Living among the Dead?
5. Do You Not Know These Things?

These probing questions drive to consider the mystery of Easter.

1. In anguish of soul and with sweat like drops of blood (Lk 22:44), Jesus asks that the cup of God’s wrath pass from him (Mt 26:42). Why does the Father remain silent?
2. How do we understand Jesus’ mysterious cry of dereliction from the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mt 27:46)
3. What does Paul mean by asking rhetorically, “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” (1 Cor 15:55)
4. What do the angels mean when they ask the women at the tomb “Why do you look for the living among the dead?”? (Lk 24:5)
5. What might we know about epistemology (knowing), when the two travelers to Emmaus asked the risen Christ, “Do you not know these things?” (Lk 24:18)

Why did the Father say No to Jesus? Chap. 1 explains. It was not because of neglect or indifference or that God was a “divine deadbeat dad,” but so that he could say yes to us on legitimate grounds–no legal fiction, no injustice to threaten or question the exchange of our sin for Jesus’ righteousness (2 Cor 5:21). The Father had to say no to present Jesus as a “propitiation” or sacrifice of atonement (Rom 3:25). This saves sinners. But it also proves his justice–to demonstrate his righteousness for sins committed beforehand. Because the Father said no, we will forever–through faith in the Son–enjoy and share the glory of the Father and Son in the unending, timeless age to come.

How can the Father turn his face away from Jesus? Chap. 2 begins with the sacred creed of soldiers–Leave no man behind–in order to express the horror of God abandoning his Son to die on the cross (Mt 27:46). A theologian calls Jesus’ cry “one of the most impenetrable mysteries of the entire Gospel narratives.” Yet God records this mystery for us to consider. There are at least three ways Jesus experienced suffering from being abandoned: Social abandonment, emotional desertion, and spiritual separation. To be face-to-face with God the Father is the Bible’s idea of the highest possible blessing and happiness. Conversely, to have God turn his face away would be the worst condemnation. Jesus experienced the latter from the depth of his being. On the cross Jesus was cursed (Gal 3:13), made sin for us (2 Cor 5:21) and “bore our sins in his body on the tree” (1 Pet 2:24). In the unspeakable terror and agony of being abandoned by the Father, Jesus cried, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mt 27:46; Mk 15:34) Calvin said that in his soul, Jesus endured the punishments due to us. But because Jesus was abandoned socially, we become children in the household of God. Because he was deserted emotionally, we become whole again–renewed in the image of God. Because he suffered spiritual separation, we are now spiritually united to him through faith, never to be separated from God’s love. Because he was forsaken, we are forgiven.

How can we truly know what we know? Chap. 5 explains epistemology–a fancy word for any theory of how we know things. Everyone has their own theory of what they know. We say, “I just know it’s true” (subjective feeling), “It’s a proven scientific fact” (confidence in observable facts), “Let’s be reasonable” (insisting on rules of logic), or “I know because someone told me,” which is an epistemological claim based on knowing things by someone else’s testimony. But is there a way of knowing that is more reliable than feeling, facts, emotion, perception, science and testimony.

One way to know what we know. Luke 24 shows three insufficient ways and one infallible way of knowing the truth about Jesus and the resurrection. The three insufficient ways are physical senses alone, facts alone (even if they are firsthand eyewitness testimonies) and Bible study alone (surprise!). In contrast, the one infallible way of knowing the truth about who Jesus is and the power of his resurrection is that we must have our eyes opened by God (Lk 24:31, 16; Mt 11:25-27; 13:10-11; 16:17).

I recommend this book for being fresh, experiential and practical. Please do share other views of the atonement.

Grace alone. Alternate perspectives and counter comments have previously been bantered about, but I thought it good to articulate in one article the (Reformed) perspective that best expresses my understanding and my faith. The key is that only the grace of God (never man’s merit) leads to redemption and blessing, both in the OT and NT.

What Moses and Paul says. Moses declares what is called the Deuteronomic principle (Dt 4:1, 40), which says that obedience to the Lord’s commands (Law/Torah) brings life and blessing, while disobedience brings curse and destruction. On the other hand, Paul states that the law brings curse and death (since no one is able to keep the law), in contrast to the life that comes by the Spirit (Rom 2:12-13; 4:15; 7:8-9; 8:2-4; 10:4-5; 2 Cor 3:6; Gal 3:12-13, 21-24; 5:18). Does Paul (NT) contradict Moses (OT)?

Grace before obedience. Moses did not view obedience to the law as the basis of covenantal relationship. The Israelites were God’s people entirely because of God’s grace and initiative in saving them from bondage (Ex 19:4; 20:2; Dt 5:6, 15; 6:21-23; 15:15; 24:18), independent of any merit on their part (Dt 9:5-6). God chose Israel as his people before revealing to them his law.

Obedience is the evidence of faith. To Moses a relationship with God happens with obedience to God’s commands. When acts of obedience arise out of genuine faith, God accepts them as proof of righteousness and responds with blessing and life. Jesus says likewise (Jn 14:15, 21, 23). Conversely, with disobedience, faith may be lacking, to which God responds with curse and death. We reap what we sow (Gal 6:7). Flesh begets flesh and the Spirit begets the spirit (Jn 3:6; Rom 8:5).

No acts of human righteousness ever merits God’s salvation. OT and NT consistently assert that no one may perform works of righteousness sufficient to merit the saving favor of God (Ps 14:1, 4; 51:4-5; 53:1, 3; Isa 64:6; Rom 3:23), which is entirely God’s grace and initiative.

Why was the Law given? God reveals his standard of righteousness by which his people, already saved by grace, may live and confidently depend on God for their approval. Thus, the Law is a gift of grace (Jn 1:16-17) through which God provided his people with an ever-present reminder of his deliverance, his power, his presence, his covenant faithfulness and the way of life and prosperity.

To reconcile Paul and Moses, later revelation cannot correct earlier revelation, as if there were some defect in it. Later revelation may be more precise, more nuanced, “more clear,” but it cannot be more true. Paul cannot be interpreted as correcting Moses, as if Moses’ teaching were erroneous. If Moses attributed a life-giving/sustaining function to the law (Lev 18:5), and Paul appears to have declared the opposite as a dogmatic assertion, then Paul would have failed the traditional and primary test of a true prophet–agreement with Moses (cf. Dt 18:15-22). Paul’s statements must be interpreted not only in light of Moses, but also as rhetorical assertions made in the context of particular arguments.

In Romans and Galatians, Paul responds to those who insist that salvation comes by the works of the law, as represented by circumcision. Paul’s reply to them is that if one looks to the law as a way of salvation, it leads to death, but if one looks to the law as a guide for those already saved, it yields life (Gal 5:13-25). In Rom 2:13 Paul sounds like Moses, “For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous.” “The obedience of faith” (Rom 1:5)–a faith demonstrated through acts of obedience–is common to both the OT and NT. James says likewise in Jas 2:17, 24, 26.

This paradigm applies in both the OT and NT, and in both Moses and Paul:

1. God’s gracious (unmerited) saving actions yield the fruit of a redeemed people.
2. A redeemed people produces the fruit of righteous deeds.
3. Righteous deeds yield the fruit of divine approval and blessing.

Law lacking grace; grace lacking law. Some churches are driven by the law while claiming the grace of God. This results in legalism, phariseeism and burn out. Others emphasize grace while eschewing the law. This results in antinomianism, a moral looseness and a lack of holiness. A sad result is when “both sides” accuse the “other side” of being the problem.

Please write a post regarding law and grace. I love both doctrines. My desire is to emphasize grace (by the Spirit) without diminishing or imposing the law, both of which obscures grace.

(Reference: Block, Daniel I. Deuteronomy: The NIV Application Commentary. Grand Rapids: Zondervan. 2012. 197-199.)

A shocking confession. After 32 years of marriage, I have never told my dear wife, “I love you.” I strongly do not recommend this to any husband!! I never said those three words to her, partly because I am a shy introverted person from the east who has great difficulty articulating emotions of love to others. (Unfortunately, I have no problem articulating anger!) Also, a sad story of humanity is that countless millions of people throughout the world have said, “I love you,” yet behaved in ways where the loved one felt anything but love. Mainly, I thought that my love for my wife should be expressed in ways far beyond uttering three little words. I did not realize this but I might have backing from Deuteronomy chap. 6 about loving God! God does not want his people to love him by just saying “I love you” (cf. Isa 29:13; Mt 15:8; Mk 7:6).

You can read the rest of my sermon write-up and outline here.

My fifth Deuteronomy sermon is Law (Dt 5:1-33), which is the Ten Commandments (literally “ten words”) or the Decalogue. My theme is that Grace always precedes the Law. Law follows Grace. The Law is preceded by the Gospel. The three parts are:

1. Grace (Dt 5:1-6): I am the Lord who redeemed you from slavery (Dt 5:6).
2. Law (Dt 5:7-21): Love God and love your neighbor (Mt 22:37-39; Mk 12:30-31).
3. Response (Dt 5:22-33): We will listen and obey (Dt 5:27).

The point I tentatively hope to make is that God’s amazing love and grace is expressed when he delivered his people from slavery, a most helpless, hopeless and inhumane state, where death might be preferable to life. (The horrific condition of slavery is graphically and viscerally depicted by the gut-wrenching movie 12 Years A Slave.) Following deliverance and redemption, the Law was then given not to enslave them to the Law but to enhance the liberated life. Similarly the Bible was not given to enslave us to its teachings rigidly and inflexibly, but to liberate us when we grasp, by the help of the Holy Spirit, just who the God of the Bible is.

There are countless dichotomies in Christiandom. Calvinism/Arminianism. Liberal/Conservative. Charismatic/Cessationist. Paedobaptist/Credobaptist. Salvation by faith alone/salvation by faith plus works. Justification: Reformed, soteriological, eschatological emphasis/New Perspective on Paul, ecclesiastical emphasis; imputation/impartation. Gospel: Primarily proclamation/Emphasis on works. Evangelism: discipleship/social justice. Silence and solitude/community and engagement. Countless eschatological views (Premillennial, Amillennial, Postmillennial, preterist, futurist, historicist, idealist and variations thereof). Various views of baptism and communion. The Filioque controversy. This is surely just the tip of the iceberg regarding dichotomies.

Right or wrong, dichotomies happen in life, and definitely in our Christian experience, even if we insist that we do not want to be dichotomous. For instance, I really wanted to enjoy the Superbowl yesterday. But I simply could not when the team I was rooting for got blown out 43 – 8. I could not bear to watch the second half, and did not watch even one second of it.

I love UBF. Let me simply state my dilemma as best I can. As a UBF lifer I love UBF, which I believe is my practical expression of love for Christ and for as his church, which is his bride, his household and his body. But some exUBFers have conflicting inner discordance hearing me proclaim to the world, “I love UBF.” At the same time, UBF lovers also feel discordant, because I am not afraid nor ashamed to air our dirty laundry for the whole world to see and to smell. So my sense is that when I say, “I love UBF,” I don’t feel the love from both sides. As much as I want or even need to be loved, I think I can handle not feeling the love, as long as I am sure of Jesus’ love for me. So don’t feel any pressure that you need to make me feel the love. As I have stated often, it is sometimes a lot of fun when others just “let you have it.”

Samuel Lee was my friend and mentor. Another dilemma is when I proclaim unashamedly that Samuel Lee was a good friend and mentor for me (while having observed and read many things he said and did which I cannot and will never agree with). UBF detractors who have seen or read or experienced what Lee said and did might be appalled that I refer to him as “my friend and mentor.” At the same time, long standing UBFers do not buy my positive proclamation about Lee at all, because again I am not afraid nor ashamed to clearly speak out about his negative and hurtful (evil) words and actions.

I’m staying in UBF. Anti-UBFers wonder, “How can I stay when I know all the horrible things UBF does?” Some UBF lovers wonder, “Why doesn’t he just leave or SHUT UP?” I just don’t feel the love, not that I’m looking for it, but maybe I am…God only knows.

What do you think?

Sorry if this is an odd question. But what “dilemma between the dichotomies” do you experience?

The ancients never had the Law. Without the Law they felt the following:

1. The gods are angry with me.
2. My sin has caused the anger of the gods.
3. I must do something to placate the gods’ wrath.

Without the Law their ignorance is also threefold:

1. I do not know which god is angry.
2. I do not know which particular crime I committed that provoked the divine fury.
3. I do not know what exactly it will take to placate the wrath of the gods.

Into this dark world the Law (Torah) of Moses shines its beacon of glory and grace:

1. Israel’s God has revealed himself.
2. Israel’s God has declared the boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable conduct.
3. Israel’s God provided a way of forgiveness that actually solves the human problem of sin.

The plan of God. In the plan of God through the obedience of his people they would demonstrate their greatness to the nations and so fulfill the promise of the ancestors and serve as agents of worldwide blessing (Dt 4:6-8). In the language of the NT, Paul says that Israel was to be a letter from God to the world, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts (2 Cor 3:3).

The failure of Israel. Sadly, the nation as a whole failed in this mission, and the individuals within the nation who fulfilled this calling were rarely more than a remnant. But Israel’s failure negates neither the grace nor the power of the Torah to yield life when understood in proper perspective. Israel’s failure testifies simply to the hardness of the human heart.

What does “keep/obey my commands” mean? It does not simply mean, “Do as I tell you from now on.” “My commands” (Jn 14:15; 15:10) alludes to specific commands revealed long ago as God’s will. When the disciples hear this from Jesus, they are hearing the voice of the One who revealed his “decrees and laws” (Dt 4:1) long ago at Horeb. Through obedience to Jesus we demonstrate our covenantal commitment (“love”) to him. We also display to the world the privilege of salvation, divine presence, knowledge of his will, and blessing. Delighting in obedience to the revealed will of God represents the key to fulfilling the divine mission of reaching the world with his grace.

Is the Law a blessing? John 1:16-17 say, “Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” (NIV 2011). The 1984 NIV says that “we have all received one blessing after another.” It is not as though the Law is a curse and that grace and truth through Christ is a blessing. Both are blessings. Both are God’s grace. The contrast here is not between law and grace, but two ways of expressing grace: mediated grace (Law) and embodied grace (Jesus). For the Israelites, possession of the Law was a supreme grace (Rom 9:4), a grace exceeded and superseded only by Jesus.

May your obedience be a loving obedience to a loving God. May your obedience be rooted and grounded (not in the Law but) in the grace of Jesus who loves you and all people immeasurably.

My Jonah moment

Translating the Hebrew. An interesting aspect of the book is that the author used his own translation of the Hebrew to more clearly convey its sense of poetry, imagery and flow. Though he “sacrificed the English to serve the Hebrew,” he made it a fresh reading of a familiar book. Also, the summary bullet points at the end of each chapter are very helpful and useful.

Highlights and insights. The exegesis often addresses our heart’s deepest motives. They are also foundational for a proper preaching of the gospel and teaching of the Bible.

All humans will be judged by the Law. “Their evil has come up before me” (Jon 1:2). God takes our sin seriously and so should we. God holds people accountable for their actions. Yes, God is the God of mercy and grace–toward Jonah and all people. But God’s grace does not remove his hatred for sin, nor erase his determination to punish those who persist in sin (Rom 2:6-8)–including Jonah. The right way to preach the gospel is to begin with this foundational truth. Only when people understand God’s holiness and see their sin in light of that holiness will they also understand their need of a savior.

The servant of God, Jonah, became stupid (Jon 1:3). None of God’s people are without sin. We will never be completely free of sin until Christ returns. When he fell into sin, Jonah became really stupid thinking that he could “flee from the presence of the Lord” (Jon 1:3). Though he knew the Bible and knew better, he acted in violation of everything he knew and believed. This is what sin does to our intelligence.

It is impossible to escape from God because God rules over all, including the forces of nature. When Jonah fled from God, God actively “hurled a great wind onto the sea” and “the ship considered breaking up” (Jon 1:4). The language is evocative. Nature does not act on its own. The power of nature and even the ship itself submit to God in putting an end to Jonah’s vain effort to escape from God. There is no situation over which God does not have control.

Our sins have consequences and we cannot escape the consequences of our actions. Jonah’s sin brought disaster to non-believers (Jon 1:5). His sin made him escape reality, become indifferent to the troubles he brought on others, and made him unable to pray (Jon 1:6).

The servant of God, Jonah, was acting irresponsibly and was severely rebuked by non-believers, yet he did not care (Jon 1:6-8). Christians should be a blessing to others. But when we fall into sin, as Jonah did, then even non-Christians seem far wiser and even “more spiritual” than us. This should greatly humble us.

The servant of God, Jonah, was evading responsibility and remaining silent for as long as he could (Jon 1:6-8).

Through non-believers, God helped Jonah to confess who he is, what sin he committed, and what should be done to him (Jon 1:9-12). Without any choice left, Jonah accepted responsibility and submitted to the punishment he knew his sin deserved (Jon 1:12). This is a fundamental gospel principle–recognition of sin and of the fact that our guilt renders us liable to punishment. Though this is an incomplete view of the gospel, it is often a necessary one at the beginning of our journey toward Christ. Before we understand the magnitude of God’s grace we need to understand the greatness of his anger and the weight of our own sins. Learning to recognize our sins is how God works in all of our hearts to lead us to know the depth of his love and grace for us.

Jonah repented when he realized that God did not destroy him by treating him as his sins deserve (Jon 2:1-10). In his distress, he remembered the Bible verses in Psalms that he knew by heart as a prophet of God. He realized that though he brought this trouble upon himself, God was merciful to him. He knew that though he should have died for his sin, yet God saved him. His prayer shows his understanding of salvation that is not due to man’s merit or effort but entirely due to the grace of God (Jon 2:9). Because of God’s saving grace, he also vowed to make good (Jon 2:9). Repentance is not simply a verbal acknowledgment of sin, but an actual change of one’s heart and actions.

When Jonah simply spoke the message that God gave him (Jon 3:1), a national repentance and turning to the Lord happened (Jon 3:1-9). Jonah’s message was a message of judgment: “Forty more days and Ninevah is destroyed!” (Jon 3:4) It is rather simplistic, unimpressive, rudimentary, crude and judgmental. But when he did just as God said (Jon 3:1), a national repentance and revival broke out (Jon 3:5).

Exemplary leadership from a pagan king: Repentance happened “from the greatest to the least” (Jon 3:5b). It is interesting that Nineveh’s king, a pagan ruler, exemplified godly leadership, by humbling himself before God and his people (Jon 3:6-9). The king did not think of himself, his dignity or his privileges. He approached God with a deep sense of sinfulness, in shame and sorrow for sin. “This is how things should be. Leaders are supposed to lead in spiritual and moral matters, although it is precisely those who lead that often find it most difficult to accept responsibility. It is hard to stand at the peak of the pyramid and admit your weaknesses. It is tough, when everyone’s eyes are on you, not to hide your sins. But in Nineveh, repentance began ‘from the greatest’ and proceeded ‘to the least of them'” (Jon 3:5b). “This should be the process in every context. Leaders and all who are looked up to need to set an example by leading others in the ways of God. They should be the first to accept criticism, the first to examine their ways, the first to admit their own faults and to correct them. A people, a church or a family will seldom be better than its leaders. Good leaders will strive for spiritual and moral perfection, and will seek purity of motive and action.” This quote about leadership is my favorite quote of the book, though it is not the main theme of Jonah.

The servant of God, Jonah, was so angry that God blessed “others” (Jon 4:1-11). Chapter 4 is the heart of the book of Jonah. It reveals the punch line, the book’s central lesson. We should learn what God taught Jonah and draw important conclusions for ourselves. Mainly, Jonah’s response to the grace of God on “others” (the world) was one of anger, resentment and bitterness (Jon 4:1-3). Is he any different from the the older brother in the Parable of the Prodigal Son? From the Pharisees? From US?? With Ninevah’s repentance, “God repented of the evil he had determined to do to them, and did not do it” (Jon 3:10). But Ninevah’s repentance “was to Jonah a very great evil, and he was angry” (Jon 4:1). Jonah was furious. He was saddened. He refused to accept the grace shown to Nineveh and charged God as being wrong, though he knew exactly who God was. He prayed, “Please Lord, was this not what I thought when I was still on my land? This is why I at first tried to escape to Tarshish, because, I knew you were a merciful and gracious God, patient and full of grace, and that you repent from evil” (Jon 4:2). Despite Jonah’s horrible attitude, God is stubborn in his love and did not leave Jonah in his sin but continued to extend grace to him (Jon 4:5-11).

Some closing questions:

• Are we not often like Jonah?
• When God blesses those (like Ninevah) who have hurt you and others, are you angry? Do you have a right to be angry (Jon 4:4)?
• Is there anything that God does that you consider inappropriate or unjust?

• Best Picture: 12 Years A Slave.
• Best Director: Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity.
• Best Actor: Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club.
• Best Actress: Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine.
• Best Supporting Actor: Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club.
• Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle.
• Original Screenplay: Her.
• Adapted Screenplay: 12 Years A Slave.
• Animated Film: Frozen.
• Cinematography: Gravity.
• Costume Design: The Great Gatsby.
• Editing: Gravity.
• Makeup: The Lone Ranger.
• Original Song: Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom.
• Production Design: The Great Gatsby.
• Sound Editing: Gravity.
• Sound Mixing: Gravity.
• Visual Effects: Gravity.

Do you have any predictions?

Do you read the Bible daily?

Can you read the Bible for 10 min a day? Then I heard Francis Chan’s anointed sermon. I often ask people this: “How many chapters of the Bible do you need to read daily if you are to read the entire Bible in a year?” People think it is 15-20 chapters a day. But it is only FOUR! Chan said that if you only read the Bible for 10 minutes every day at the regular reading speed you can read the entire Bible in a year. Somehow this resonated with me and it kick started my Bible reading on Jan 1st. In the first six days of 2014 I read respectively 37, 20, 10, 11, 8, 10 chapters a day.

Are you trying to read the Bible? My favorite Yoda quote is No! Try not! Do or do not. There is no try! Trying to do something, anything, is equivalent to failing. Isn’t this why almost everyone who tries to diet and lose weight fail 95% of the time? Might it be the same with anyone who tries to stop watching porno, or lusting, or lording over others? When I was reading books and commentaries, I tried to read the Bible only and could not for several years. But after hearing Chan’s sermon, I felt inspired and simply read the Bible! I stopped trying to read the Bible. I simply did…happily and willingly.

Being or doing? God expects–even demands–our obedience, knowing full well that we will all fail without exception. Only Christ fulfilled the Law and obeyed God perfectly and completely (Mt 5:17)–at great cost and agony to himself (Ps 22:1; Mt 27:46; Mk 15:34). Yet Jesus obeyed God wholeheartedly and willingly (Jn 10:17-18). His obedience came from who he is–one with the Father (Jn 10:30; 17:21). His doing came from his being. Likewise, when we are transformed by God’s grace, our obedience comes from our willingness. Thus, I want to love God, even if I fail daily. I delight in the Law (Ps 1:2; 119:70; Rom 7:20) knowing that I will fail.

Do you buy Yoda’s theology? Without legalism or bibliolatry, do you delight in Scripture reading as you delight in Christ?

Gospel. Chan presented the gospel clearly and passionately by explaining God, Sin, Redemption and Consummation. He presented a God who is holy such that if we saw him in his holiness we would die. He explained how sin distorts, disfigures and destroys us. He expressed how through Christ God loves us in spite of our rebellion against him. He expressed our glorious hope of one day being in the presence of God. I learned that I must always present the gospel clearly, passionately and meaningfully in every sermon and Bible study.

Bible. Chan earnestly pleaded with the audience to read the Bible. He said that if we just read the Bible for 10 min a day, we could read the entire Bible in a year at the normal reading speed. I was so moved by his plea that I woke up at 4 am and read 22 chapters of the Bible today on Jan 1, 2014 (Hosea, Joel, and half of Amos)!

Believing lies. Chan read 2 Tim 4:1-4 and said that our sin causes us to listen to and believe lies (2 Tim 4:3-4). He told the story an old prophet lying to a younger prophet and caused him to be killed by a lion (1 Ki 13:15-24). Then he told the story of how 400 false prophets all lied, while only Micaiah told the truth as a prophet of the Lord (1 Ki 22:6-9, 15-23). Chan said that our own desires to sin causes us to disobey God by committing immoral acts, engaging in premarital sex, marrying uncommitted Christians and justifying divorce. I was moved by Chan telling stories from the Bible in such a real, contemporary, contextualized and applicable way.

Loving Jesus or loving revival. Chan shared how much he wanted to see a revival. He witnessed to others frequently but people were rejecting the gospel. He prayed fervently that God would rain down fire from heaven to move the hearts of people, just as Elijah prayed and God consumed his offering before 400 prophets of Baal (1 Ki 18:36-39; Jas 5:17-18). He agonized why God does not do the same when he preaches–just as God did with Elijah. His answer from God was that Elijah was about to be killed by 400 godless prophets, while he is preaching at a Christian conference! He repented that he wanted a revival more than he wanted Jesus. Though on a miniscule scale I cannot but confess and repent how much I want to see results from my preaching and teaching more than I want to simply see and delight in and know Jesus (Phil 3:10).

Reputation. Finally, Chan read Rev 3:1. He shared how much we Christians live based on our reputation, rather than based on the truth of who we are. He asked what our 10 best friends and family would say about our faith, our prayer, our purity and the authenticity of our Christian lives. Next, what would God say about our prayer life and our purity. He asked if we are more concerned about our reputation and about what people think of us, or about what God really thinks of us. This is the clincher. Do I care more about what people think of me, or about what God thinks of me?

May God bless you to watch this sermon–which will help you check your own heart–and share your reflections as you begin 2014.

After writing my 2014 key verse testimony, I realize that I hardly wrote any stories of what I personally did or experienced. So here are some ways I had fun in 2013.

Reading. My favorite book of the year is Falling Upward by Richard Rohr. It explains how every person should transition from a first half of life (foundation/identity–Rohr calls it a container) to the second half of life (discovery/freedom–content of the container). Though necessary, the first half of life enslaves you, while the second half of life liberates. Sadly most people, churches and countries remain stuck in the first half of life. My own Christian life was deeply entrenched in the first half (it felt like enslavement), until God “pushed” me (through life’s events) into freedom. Experientially, I “fell upward” into the hands of the Living God. I am now slowly reading John Frame’s Systematic Theology. Paul Tripp’s Dangerous Calling exposed the hidden idols of Pharisee-like Christian leaders (ME!). Larry Osborne’s Innovation’s Dirty Little Secret explains why churches and institutions decline. In preparation for preaching, I read several commentaries on Revelation, John’s Gospel, and now Deuteronomy. I also love the new ESV Gospel Transformation Bible, which explains how each of the 66 books of the Bible uniquely point to the gospel, such as The Gospel in Genesis.

Blogging. I wrote 60 articles for UBFriends in 2013 (62 in 2012). Blogging is an exciting and integral part of my life because I write and express myself freely, and receive feedback from others, both online and in person–sometimes passionately. My concerns about the 2013 International Conference (May) received 355 comments. I just shared my opinion. But it resulted in many UBFers being upset with me, and many exUBFers commending me. If not for UBF I would not be married (Jan), received 259 comments. I simply shared my happiest story. But many shared their painful marriage by faith stories, which I was very sorry to hear. My worst infuriation (188 comments) and Is UBF scared of grace (159 comments) made the top 10 most commented list.

Preaching. I preached 32 sermons in 2013 (38 in 2012), 16 from Revelation and 10 from John’s Gospel. This takes up most of my time each week as I read books, blogs, and sermons in my preparation to preach extemporaneously.

Enjoying life. In 2013 I have been married for 32 of the happiest years of my life. 11 West Loop couples renewed wedding vows. I enjoyed reviewing Gravity and The Hunger Games. My four children–my pride and joy–are steadfast and maturing as Christians. My three grandchildren are happy and rambunctious. Each year over the past decade, I spend time in the Philippines by preaching and teaching our leaders and college students who are thirsty for Jesus and Scripture. Gratitude, joy and thanksgiving overwhelms me almost daily as I live with awe, fear and trembling for his immeasurable and undeserved grace.

How did you have fun in 2013?

Heart, soul and strength. For over three decades of having one to one Bible studies with many young adults, I have always explained the Great Command (Dt 6:5; Mt 22:37; Mk 12:30) as loving God with all our emotions (heart), all our intellect (mind), and all our effort (strength). It is to love God emotionally, intellectually and volitionally. I like this exegesis. But I am technically off.

In the original language, the Hebrew word translated “heart” refers both to emotions as well as our mind, i.e., to our inner person. “Soul”–which means “throat”–has meanings of appetite/desire, life, the whole self; “soul” refers to one’s entire person. “Strength,” meaning power, also means “greatly, exceedingly.” It is best captured by a word like “resources.” This includes physical strength, but also economic and social strength, as well as all things we own–our family, house, tools, toys, savings, even our church and ministry.

Inner being, whole person and everything we own. A more thorough rendering of the Great Command would be to love God with all of our inner being (heart), with our whole person (soul) and with everything we claim to own (strength). In brief, it means to love the only God (Dt 6:4; Mk 12:29) without reservation or qualification.

Hopefully, this is helpful as you share Jesus and Scripture with others. May God bless you and UBFriends to love God in 2014.

A monster?

A machtmensh? Whenever I state anything complimentary about Lee, it is questioned and interpreted in the worst possible light. He is manipulative. He is a power monger (a “machtmensch”). His motive and intent was to enslave you to him and to UBF. Etc. There are elements of truth to this.

Loving Lee. I am not disputing some questionable decisions Lee made, the indefensible things he said in his announcements or wrote in his manuscripts, or his unchallenged and unhealthy authoritarian leadership. Many in UBF know this to be true, even if they will NEVER EVER publicly say so. They still love him like their father, and as the co-founder of UBF, and as their leader, pastor and Bible teacher, through whose lips they heard the gospel of their salvation and became genuine Christians. Can anyone blame them for fondly loving Lee, even while knowing some of his inexcusable flaws and sins?

These are some reasons why many, myself included, have loving sentiments toward Lee.

He is funny. He had a sense of humor. He could make you laugh and cry, not with crass jokes, but with an understanding of the complexity and contradiction of humanity (perhaps like a Christian version of Chris Rock). Lee was often entertaining, just as George Whitfield and Billy Sunday were. As someone said, which I agree, Lee made serving God fun.

He is creative and inspiring. He was not boring or predictable. He often shocked and surprised you in ways that compelled you to think deeply.

Homo unius libri. He was always spirited and excited about Jesus and the Bible. In his own imperfect way, he was truly a homo unius libri.

Intuition. He had an intuitive sense about people. Of course he was sometimes wrong. But more often than not, he saw the very best in people. I always felt that he saw me with eyes of hope, love and potential. I know many others who feel the same way.

Embracing. He was generous and gracious toward those who are broken, wounded and weak. He helped me to be forbearing, gentle and kind toward those whom I often felt very impatient with. Yes, he was quite harsh with some, usually with the UBF staff and leaders under him. But he was unbelievably kind, warm, patient and embracing toward so many. I can never forget him saying, “If a man’s leg is broken, you can mend his leg. But if his heart is broken, who can mend it?” For over two decades I heard him express such similar sentiments with genuine heartfelt love, compassion and understanding. Through his good influence, I came to gradually understand the God of endless love and compassion, the God who is endlessly long suffering, patient, kind and tolerant.

Legacy. Yes, Lee embellished stories that were exaggerations or lies. But sometimes even these were funny (as long as it was not about you!). Yes, he was authoritarian; he had no accountability structures in place, and he expected unquestioning obedience to him. Yes, all UBFers were “scared to death” of him, and would never question him or disagree with him. Yes, he surrounded himself with “Yes men.” Yes, he trained people until many in UBF are homogenous clones. Yes, he was harsh and cruel to those who disagreed with him, or challenged his authority, or who who did not meet his expectations. Yes, he publicly and privately humiliated and caricatured people. Yes, he made fellow UBFers compete rather than collaborate. Because of these, UBF is NOT a healthy church today. Not a few leaders are untouchable. Our friendships, interpersonal relationships and trust are suboptimal.

The truth? I believe Lee had inner wounds that were not fully healed by Christ (perhaps like us). Yes, many of the negative things said about him were true. But it is also true that he was filled with the Holy Spirit and led many to Christ. Also, his leadership inspired many to love Jesus, the Bible, evangelism and mission, even to this day.

I am still excited about Jesus today because of the work of the Holy Spirit in me. I am sorry if some find it offensive and hurtful that I attribute this to Lee.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Yourself. MSP do not feel sorry for their situation or dwell on how they were mistreated. They take responsibility for their actions and their outcomes. They understand that life is often unfair. They emerge from bad circumstances with self-awareness (Gen 50:20) and gratitude for lessons learned. They may say, “Oh, well…” or “Next.”

2.  Give Away Your Power. MSP do not give others the power to make them feel inferior. They are in control of their actions and emotions (1 Pet 5:8). They manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. MSP embrace change. They welcome challenge. An environment of change and uncertainty energizes MSP and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. MSP don’t complain (much) about other people, because they are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. MSP are not people pleasers. They strive to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but are unafraid to speak up. They know that certain people will get upset and they navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace (Col 4:6).

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. MSP willingly take calculated risks. This is not jumping headlong into foolish risks. MSP weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly. They fully assess potential downsides and worst-case scenarios before taking decisive action.

7. Dwell on the Past. Acknowledging the past and especially things learned from past experiences is good. But MSP avoid consuming their mental energy in past disappointments or in “glory days” gone by. They invest their creative energy for optimizing the present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over and Expecting Better Results (the definition of insanity). MSP accept full responsibility for past behavior and willingly learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful people.

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success (Rom 12:15). MSP have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they take notes on what the individual did well).

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. The greatest entrepreneurs willingly admit their many early failures. MSP are willing to fail again and again, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. MSP enjoy and treasure time spent alone to reflect, plan, and to be productive (Mk 1:35). They don’t depend on others for their happiness. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. MSP are prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. MSP are “in it for the long haul.” They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses. They celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power” (Rom 8:28). They understand that genuine changes take time.

I would like to think that I categorically avoid all 13 things on this list (…hear the violin playing). But I know my wife will tell you otherwise! Do you have mental strength? Do you belong to the category of MSP?

Tragic caricature

Tragic suicides. Earlier this year, Rick Warren’s son commited suicide at age 27 after decades of suffering from mental illness, depression and suicidal thoughts. Today, news broke of a mega-church pastor in Florida committing suicide. Isaac Hunter was 36 years old and the father of three. His father, Joel Hunter is also a megachurch pastor and a spiritual advisor of President Obama.

Even in UBF. I am not writing this to discuss why Christians commit suicide. Rather, I am posting this with the hope that we will no longer refer to anyone as a mental patient. Sadly and tragically, suicides occur in UBF as well–among Bible students, children of leaders, and notable leaders. The pain this has caused is unspeakable. Yet, I hope that some day these tragedies will be addressed publicly rather than keeping silent about and acting as though it is too discouraging or too shameful to discuss.

Despicable phrases. There are phrases that we use in UBF that are simply horrible and that hopefully is on the decline if not eliminated entirely. I think that “he/she ran away” is no longer used with any regularity to refer to anyone who left UBF. Hopefully, “keep spiritual order and just obey” is also on the decline (even if it might still be implicitly communicated). I am thinking and hoping that “selfish Americans,” or “‘P’ mentality,” or “Polish pride,” or any negative caricature of any ethnicity from Canada, Russia, Germany, etc, will no longer be used in UBF. To those who think that this is no big deal, it would be similar to saying “wife beating Koreans.” It is highly offensive and never ever justifiable or defensible. It is certainly not the way Christians should ever talk (Col 3:16; 4:6; ; Eph 4:15), not even in private (Lk 12:3).

Will we stop caricaturing others? Has UBF stopped referring to others as “a mental patient”?

A key to having fun

Appreciation. Last Fri, West Loop (WL) held our annual appreciation dinner. Our 12 WL families attended. We had FUN. We went to an all you can eat buffet for $27 per person. You could eat as many lobsters as you wanted. I only had two! We were constantly laughing…and eating. We appreciated our six WL pastors/elders: Rhoel, Henry, Tim, Arthur, Jim, Ben. After dinner, we adjourned to Arthur’s home. We chatted, had drinks, did karaoke…and ate some more. I was “upset” the next day, because I gained 3 lbs! But I had fun.

Criticism. Some people criticized WL for only having fun. Initially, it annoyed me. But why should it? It is true! I am having fun. In fact, I am having the time of my life (Phil 4:4; 1 Th 5:16).

God. Jesus has never been more real to me (Mt 28:20). I experience his presence (Gal 2:20) and his grace often (1 Cor 15:10), and often with tears of unspeakable joy and gratitude. My thanksgiving to God overwhelms me because I know how undeserving I am and how unwarranted God’s kindness to me is (Rom 2:4).

Bible. I enjoy studying the Bible for many hours every day (Ps 119:70, 77, 174; Rom 7:22). John MacArthur says that he studies the Bible for seven hours every day. I lack his diligence in matching that many hours a day, even though I am semi-retired.

Preaching. I enjoy preaching on Sun (even though the weekly burden is often great, especially when I am not sure what I want to say, or how to say it, or how to present the theme clearly and fluidly!) I enjoy meeting people in community and serving Bible studies during the week (2 Tim 4:2).

Wife. My wife and I are on our honeymoon every day (even when we are upset and annoyed at each other over the silliest things!). We are talking and laughing every day (Prov 5:18).

Children. Our four kids are authentic Christians (I believe). They have hardly ever caused me any grief or caused me to be ashamed of them. I am so proud of them (Prov 23:24; 10:1; Ps 127:4-5). Because of God’s grace to each of them, I often say, “I’m done” (even if God is clearly not done with me!).

Friends. I have many friends that I can freely talk to honestly and openly about anything and everything (Eph 4:15; Col 4:6). This is truly a credit to them, because I often invariably upset them by my double ABC disposition (abrupt, abrasive, blunt, brutal, confrontational, confounding). Yet they freely and repeatedly overlook my highly annoying idiosyncrasies, which are usually not intentional (but sometimes they are!). I even provoke and offend some people online (as there are more “dislikes,” which is fun)! These days I thank God that many people, including young people, feel free enough to rebuke, correct, encourage or exhort me (Heb 3:13).

Peace. I have no bitterness, resentment, ill will or grievance toward anyone (Heb 12:14), not even those who upset me and others. The fact that God enables me to not be incensed or infuriated with others is surely his merciful grace to me.

Grace. I am having fun ONLY because of the love of God, the grace of Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit (2 Cor 13:14). This is pure gospel and pure grace to me. It is nothing I did to earn or deserve such a grace.

Are you having fun?

Have fun. When I did a search for Amazon.com’s motto, a link says, “Work hard. Have fun. Make history. (Make money.)” Though he was a man of sorrows (Isa 53:3), yet Jesus was the happiest person who ever lived (Jn 4:32; Heb 12:2). For sure, gospel workers will be a lot more successful if they look like they are having fun. Instead, Christians often come across as being angry and upset with what is wrong with the world, and with others. They look like they have a chip on their shoulder, and are in attack mode to smash and condemn those they do not agree with.

Be inclusive. The 60 min feature says that Amazon.com’s goal is that anything that anyone wants to buy, they will be able to find it at Amazon.com at the best price. It has universal appeal and it clearly has worked. The most offensive element of the gospel is her exclusivity (Jn 14:6; Ac 4:12). Yet, Christ was the most inclusive and most embracing person who ever lived (Jn 3:16). He welcomed those whom no one else would (Isa 42:3; Mt 12:20). In contrast, the sad story of Christians is her strong impression of being exclusive and highly critical of anyone who does not agree with their particular tribe, sectarian preference, paradigm, doctrine or practice.

Be innovative. Amazon.com is always finding new ways to becoming more and more efficient, effective and productive. Presently, they are working on delivering to the doorstep what a customer orders online in 30 min by using mini-drones! Jesus was the most progressive and innovative person who ever lived. He primarily criticized his own religion (Judaism) for being stuck in a time warp until they crucified him in order to shut him up. But sadly Christians are experts at criticizing the world, and criticizing other churches and denominations, while hardly ever honestly evaluating and critiquing their own church. That is why countless churches have gone from a movement to a monument to a museum. They are stuck in their own rigid and inflexible traditions, as though their traditions and practices are the Bible. As Jaroslav Pelikan aptly wrote: “Tradition is the living faith of the dead, traditionalism is the dead faith of the living.”

Be humble. Jeff Bezos humbly acknowledges that one day some other company will surpass Amazon.com. This is a remarkable acknowledgment from a giant of innovation, creativity and success. That is why he is always working to understand how the world works so that he can continue to succeed and to stay relevant. Are Christians known to be humble enough to learn from others?

Contextualizing. Like almost every other successful person and entrepreneur, Bezos’ modus operandi is always to bend over backwards in order to accommodate the wishes, preferences and desires of his customers. He shuns a top down command directive approach. Instead, he is constantly listening to what his customers wants. God is always wishing to listen to and dialogue with his people (Isa 1:18), and in granting them their utmost desires (Ps 37:4). Jesus’ desire is to win his disciples as his friends (Jn 15:15) and to satisfy the needs of countless people (Mt 9:36). Sadly, Christians tend to do the very opposite. Instead of listening to others (Jas 1:19), we Christians seem to be primarily interested in imposing ourselves on others.

Can we Christians primarily and honestly critique ourselves (instead of others) and humbly learn from others (instead of always insisting that we are right)?

Grace

My dear wife who has put up with me for 32 years and counting. The fact that she still loves me in spite of me is a daily living reminder of the gospel to me. This story of a husband who was going to divorce his wife is touching and meaningful; it expresses just how much he hurt his wife of 10 years because he now loved another woman.

My four kids are not hurt or wounded by their father for not loving their mom. This is my favorite quote of a father who loves his children: “The best way for a father to love his children is to love their mother.” Tom Cruise once gave an interview in Time magazine where he expressed the angst of his parent’s divorce, saying, “I would not wish this on anyone.” All his fame, popularity and wealth could not remove the wound of his parent’s divorce. Steven Spielberg hated his father for the longest time for divorcing his mom. But when he divorced his first wife and remarried, he reconciled with his dad.

My parents who loved me unconditionally and who have never ever wounded me in any way whatsoever. My only sibling, an older brother, who is a noble man.

My original pastor, mentor and friend Samuel Lee (and Sarah Barry) who helped me to love Jesus, Scripture, discipleship and mission for the last 22 years of his life. I am sorry if this thanksgiving is offensive to some who read UBFriends.

My joy and delight in reading and studying Scripture, commentaries, Christian books and theology. Over the past six months, I had the time of my life by reading, preparing and preaching through Revelation in 16 weekly sermons. Now I am excited as I prepare to preach through Deuteronomy next year. God wired me to be a cerebral person who virtually lives with my head in the clouds most of the time…unless I’m watching movies or sports! My cerebral disposition causes me to often be clueless about reality, much to the chagrin of my wife and others.

My local church community at West Loop UBF Church, our recently formed South Side Coalition of Hyde Park UBF, IIT UBF and West Loop,  and my Christian brothers and sisters in Podil and in Philippines UBF, whom I have had the joy and privilege of visiting them yearly over the past decade.

My life of relative comfort and wealth by virtue of being a physician. Visiting the Philippines yearly is so edifying to me to help me realize that my comfortable upper middle class life in the U.S. is above that of over 95% of people in the world.

Semi-retirement. For about a decade since I became self-employed, I have not needed to work full time to support my family. This allows me to pursue whatever I want. This is surely a grace that I pray I may never abuse by wasting my time.

As a sinner and a forgetful man, I know I have forgotten countless other graces and blessings for which I should be thankful. Do remind me of what I have missed. What are you most thankful for?

As I saw the first Hunger Games on its first day of release, I did so again with Hunger Games: Catching Fire. A friend told me about the cheapest theater in Chicagoland, and I saw it for $4.50, the price before 4 pm. Sorry, I’m a cheapskate and a sucker for the lowest price. Sadly, for me at least, this is a few bucks wise and a million dollars foolish!

Those who love the first movie and love movies in general will love this movie. (It has a high 89% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, compared with say 36% for the Transformers.) Sorry, I’m not into reading the book. I feel awkward confessing that I’d rather read “boring” Bible commentaries and 1,000 page Systematic Theology books. This likely contributed to why I never had girlfriends and would never have married if not for UBF.

Enough rambling for now. In addition to justice, here are some reasons why this movie is such a mega hit.

All the actors and actresses–both in major and supporting roles–look great and are good actors. Jennifer Lawrence, playing the lead role Katniss Everdeen, was paid “only” $500,000 for the first Hunger Games. For this movie, she received a raise and was paid 10 million. For sure, the producers will make their money back and some. She is a great actress. She steals virtually every scene that she is in. She massively appeals to girls because she is an unlikely and reluctant hero, and it certainly doesn’t hurt that she is “torn between two cute suitors,” Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) and Gale (Liam Hemsworth) who both want her.

The story is captivating. It is almost a David and Goliath story. The underdogs virtually has no chance against the military might of the Capitol. Yet, in collaboration, they fight and persevere against all odds at the great cost of much blood and many lives being lost.

Sacrificial love. Though they have to kill others in the Hunger Games for their own survival, they often sacrifice themselves that others may live.

Unrequited love. “I will love you, even if you never ever love me back.” Countless guys and gals can fully relate to this!

Justice. Reading John Frame’s and Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology is helpful for me to begin my own quest in seeking to articulate justice. In English the words “justice” and “righteousness” are different words, but in both the Hebrew OT (tsedek) and Greek NT (dikaiosune) it is the same single word behind these two English words. Righteousness comes from a Greek root (Recht) and from a Latin one (justitia). God can bring righteousness to those who are far from righteousness (Isa 46:12-13) only through Christ (Rom 3:21-22; 2 Cor 5:21) and at an awful great cost (Rom 3:25). Without invoking God, the Hunger Games expresses the desire and the great cost incurred by the oppressed in order to seek justice from their oppressors.

Probably, the appeal of this movie are its stars, its story, its director and screenplay. But perhaps the cry of every human heart–consciously or subconsciously–is the cry for perfect justice, which is rare in our fallen world, and even in our churches. But justice can be found in Christ, as God poured out his justice on his innocent Son in order to justify us guilty sinners (Rom 3:26).

Go watch the movie for entertainment, and see if your heart cries out for justice.

• Martin Luther (1483-1546): justification by faith alone.
• John Calvin (1509-1564): the sovereignty of God.
• Immanuel Kant (1724-1804): ethics.
• Friedrich Schleiermacher (1768-1834): feeling.
• Rudolf Otto (1869-1937): the holy.
• Adolf von Harnack (1851-1930): the fatherhood of God.
• Karl Barth (1886-1968): Word of God.
• Karl Barth: crisis.
• Emil Brunner (1889-1966): personal encounter.
• Rudolf Bultmann (1884-1976): self-understanding.
• Paul Tillich (1886-1965): dialectical self-negation.
• G. Ernest Wright (1909-1974): acts of God.
• Gerhard Ebeling (1912-2001): language event.
• Jürgen Moltmann (1926): hope.
• Gustavo Gutierrez (1928): liberation.
• Harvey Cox (1929): secularity.
• Wolfhart Pannenberg (1928): resurrection.

Frame himself chose divine lordship, or God’s lordship as his central theme. Much can be learned from studying the Bible according to such themes. Each theme constitutes a perspective on the whole of Scripture. A full account of each theme will include all the theology (the study of God) of the Bible. The discussion of a biblical theme may be a good way of teaching the Bible, but it is not the Bible. With any theme, we should expound it according to its biblical meaning (exegesis) and not be according to what we imagine it to be (eisegesis).

“What is the central theme of Jesus’ life?” I could say the following: love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, long suffering patience, kindness, gentleness and tolerance, friendship, humility, transparency, fatherly (and motherly), holiness, righteousness. Even though Jesus is without doubt the perfect righteous Judge who will judge the living and the dead, the righteous and the unrighteous, I do not often think of Jesus as one who is very angry with the incorrigible and besetting sins of others. Yes, he spoke often about hell, and yes, he rebuked the horrible hypocritical religious leaders. Yet, the central theme of his life is love. I believe that’s what we think of when we think of our Lord.

What about myself? What might be the central theme of my life? I simply love to fight with anyone and everyone. So, go ahead, make my day. I even “fight” with my wife by teasing her almost every day. Most of the time, she laughs. But when my timing is off, boy, does she get mad! Then I better be “nice” the rest of the day.

What do I want the central theme of my life to be? It should be like that of Jesus. I want it to be grace (Acts 20:24) and love (1 Jn 4:19; Jn 13:34-35). I know love and grace only because of the grace of God freely and unconditionally lavished on me. Yet, my life comes up short. In the theological jargon of “already and not yet,” I am already full of love and grace, and yet not yet, until my Lord returns.

What is the central theme of your life?

Previously, I reviewed The Social Network (friendship must communicate inclusivity), The Descendants (forgiving love in the face of betrayal) and Django Unchained (exacting justice where every bastard gets his due). Gravity examines grief and loss and the mastery of life in the face of impending death, which the movie presents with spectacular visuals and authentic human emotions portrayed by Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. Next weekend, I hope to review the second Hunger Games movie.

The unbearable pain of loss. (Spoiler alert. Stop reading if you have not seen the movie and intend to do so.) Sandra Bullock and George Clooney become lost in space after being hit by exploding shrapnel from another space station. Three others on their team were killed. Clooney, the seasoned astronaut who would retire after this final mission, was a good mentor (shepherd) to Bullock, since this is her first space mission, and she is freaking out. To help her calm down, he asked about her life. She shared that she had lost her four year old daughter in a freak accident. Ever since then her life as a scientist has been a blur. She just unquestioningly accepts her boring daily routine to pass the time without reflection so as to numb herself from experiencing the unbearable pain of losing her daughter. Being lost in space appropriately represents her life being detached and lost on earth ever since she lost her only child.

A sacrifice for the sake of another. During a critical moment where both of them might die, Clooney sacrifices himself so that Bullock might survive. He represents a seasoned person who has resolved his life issues, so that he has no hesitation whatsoever to lose his life so that someone else might live. It was a poignant touching moment that would resonate with any human being who still has breadth.

Facing death. Bullock has to now survive on her own since her mentor is no more. During another critical moment she cries out in prayer for her life and says, “..even though no one ever taught me to pray.” In desperation, she cries out for supernatural intervention. In the final climatic scene of the movie she would either survive and have a hell of a story to tell, or she would be incinerated in ten minutes. And then she laughs with a resolve that seems to say, “Here goes.” She has surrendered her life and sees both options–either surviving or dying–as totally acceptable and happy. I believe that this is how each and every person wants to die–delighted that we live, and totally content if we die or lose everything. It reminds me of Paul who said, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil 1:21). Nothing and no one can ever defeat or demoralize or destroy one who has no losing option, since both options are a joyous gain and victory. It also reminds me of Shadrach, Meshah and Abednego before they were thrown into the fiery furnace by Nebuchadnezzar (Dan 3:16-18).

Are you happy to live and gain everything, as well as equally happy to die or lose everything? Any answer short of an unequivocal “Yes!” will lead to fear and a suboptimal life.

Though I do not know who Ronwad Thicke is, I usually enjoy responding to comments made about me, especially those that are not complementary, because they are simply a lot of fun. I especially love his statement that I “still cannot help but fall on (my) own sword for Samuel Lee.” By the way, I think that some traditional UBFers would love such a statement, though I seriously doubt that they would believe that it is true of me! Anyway, here is my brief response.

I attended the memorial service because I was personally invited to attend by a son-in-law of Samuel Lee who has always treated me graciously and warmly. Did I consider not attending this service? I do not know. But since I was personally invited I did not have any hesitation whatsoever to attend.

Besides being personally invited, why did I attend the memorial service? The primary reason would be the fact that God used Samuel Lee in countless ways to influence me toward a Christ-like life from 1980 when I first became a Christian to 2002 when he died. Though it freaked me out at the time, Lee helped me to marry by faith, which was the best thing I ever did, after accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior. Beyond that, Lee had the single most profound influence on my Christian life. Despite his authoritarianism, his life was the most formative, foundational, positive, spirited and inspiring Christian influence on me. He prompted in me my love, delight and study of Scripture (Ps 1:2). He repeatedly stressed an intentional life lived for the kingdom of God (Mk 1:15) through making disciples (Mt 28:19), which I love to this day. Therefore, in his mentoring of me over the last 22 years of his life, I am profoundly grateful and thankful for his endless and tireless labor, love and prayer for me, my family and my fellowship (1 Th 5:18).

Yes, there are things that I do not agree with nor approve of that were done by him or other UBF leaders, such as recently shared about in Toledo or Yekaterinburg or the way some leaders think that it is their absolute God-given right to dictate and control the marriages of their members in the name of marriage by faith, as though that is an absolute non-negotiable biblical mandate. From time to time I will seriously address them in person, privately, publicly, unashamedly, clearly and repeatedly (much to the chagrin of some current UBF leaders!). UBF should know that they taught me doggedness to the point of death (Rev 2:10)!

I know full well that I am threading a very delicate and fine line. I love my brothers and sisters who are still in UBF. I also love those who were hurt by UBF and have since left UBF. More and more I also wish to get to know and love non-UBF Christians and especially non-Christians. Obviously, I do all of the above imperfectly, poorly and quite messily.

In my mind, I believe that my participation at the memorial service simply reflects my love, gratitude and respect for my former mentor, his family and current UBF people.

I do not believe that I compromised my Christian faith nor advocated bad and unbiblical practices. Am I? If I am, then I stand to be corrected and exhorted (as Ronwad Thicke did).

The book, which I recommend reading, addresses reasons why churches and organizations stop growing and what can be done about it.

Stuck in the past. In brief, innovation’s dirty little secret is that most innovations fail. They fail because many leaders are not competent to help their church or organization grow. Osborne writes, “Some churches insist on maintaining the same programing, ambiance, and worship style that helped them grow thirty years ago. While this protects the past and keeps their aging members happy, it also guarantees that their nursery will remain empty.” What is the solution? “The only way a leader and a leadership team can overcome this natural tendency to protect the past at the cost of the future is to find ways to identify and release gifted innovators in their midst.” For growth to happen, the change leaders need a special insight to predict what will work, a unique courage to take carefully calculated risks, and extraordinary flexibility to change QUICKLY. Sadly, most leadership teams lack these traits. Instead, they do the same familiar predictable thing that no longer works, they are deathly afraid of change and taking risks, and they are rigid and inflexible.

Groupthink, herd mentality, unanimous decisions. Our natural inclination is to look to others when deciding what to do or how to think. A herd mentality is a powerful force in most group settings. It allows the more powerful people to frame the discussion and set the agenda. They try to please certain “important people.” They are politically motivated. They gravitate toward keeping the status quo. They tend to reject anything that doesn’t fit their standard paradigm or hasn’t been done before. Genuinely unique rebels and innovators are hard to find, and if found they are rejected and ridiculed.

Past success leads to arrogance and elitism. The leadership looks down on others. They think their success is due to them. They forget fortuitous timing and divine coincidences. Their arrogance discounts anything it doesn’t understand or hasn’t seen yet. It is particularly dismissive of anything proposed by those younger than them. They refuse to listen to fresh thinking, or to outside advisors. They are restricted by their traditional structures that no longer work. They overtrust the old recipe. They reject young eagles. Rather than nurturing them, they clip their wings, force them to pay their dues and wait their turn, while the old tired leaders continue to keep their reins of power and control.

The book concludes excellently by proposing several things that will support future change, growth and innovation.

Don’t ask what a previous great leader would do. New leaders need to ask the right questions. What are our unique strengths and weaknesses? What is the current reality? What do we need to do to better fulfill our mission? An important question NOT to ask is “What would the previous leader do?” This is a waste of time. It is impossible to know. We only know what they did in a previous era under different circumstances. Even if the situations are exactly the same today, the circumstances and culture are not. Interestingly, Steve Jobs famously told Tim Cook right before his death to make sure no one at Apple asked, “What would Steve do?”

Enforcement without room for leadership. Poor leaders live in fear that future leaders will betray the mission. The worst thing they do is to assume that younger future leaders cannot be trusted. It is a toxic combination of arrogance and distrust. It sabotages innovative leadership. Sadly, most churches and organizations have too many rules and regulations. They dictate and promote control. They think they are protecting the mission. In effect they sabotage the mission. When these rigid rules are all spelled out, there is no room for leadership. There is room only for enforcement.

The freedom to disagree. Every leader has a short list of non-negotiables that are not based on Scripture, morality or integrity. They simply reflect a leader’s personal values and priorities. Tomorrow’s leaders need the freedom to disagree with some deeply held convictions, and the freedom to act on it. (These are not about moral issues because right and wrong do not change over time.) One of the best things a good leader can do is to leave behind a legacy of continual change and innovation. He makes sure that those who follow has the freedom to do things he would never do. He paves the way for them to lead in ways that are counter to our deeply held convictions about how things ought to be done.

The humility and honesty to highlight past failures. Good future leaders need a humble and honest view of the past. The problem is that our idealized memories of the past often look better than the harsh realities of the present. With time gory days become glory days, and uncreative leaders look like superstars! Good successful organizations and church leaders need to be humble and honest enough to highlight and even memorialize their dark days as well as their victories. A leader or leadership team who highlights the successes and buries the failures is romanticizing and idolizing the past. They refuse to sincerely examine and learn from pains and failures. They present an unrealistic dishonest view of the past that will soon be discovered.

What has your experience been with your church or company?

When the church becomes ugly

White boy sheep and HNWs. This reflection exposed my perspective and practice of Christian life. For two decades I was only interested in reaching, evangelizing and discipling young Caucasian Americans. The so-called “presentable parts” (1 Cor 12:24a) were the white boy sheep and HNWs (holy nation women or white women), terminology I no longer use. Thus, I ignored or despised anyone who is not white. They were “the parts that we think are less honorable” and “the parts that are unpresentable” (1 Cor 12:23). The most offensive term I ever coined (for which I am ashamed and speechless) is “paddies”–my short form for anyone who is not white. Their singular purpose as far as I was concerned was to “pad the number for our Sun church attendants”–“paddies.” To think that I never ever considered this offensive or racist for the longest time still daunts me. Even now I quiver with personal nauseating disgust and trepidation as I type this.

Exemplary. When I thought in such discriminatory ways I clearly was not a church for the less honorable, the unpresentable (1 Cor 12:23-24), the poor, the marginalized, the less fortunate, the ignored, the hurt, the wounded, the broken. I was only interested in young whites–the so-called “leadership material”–because they would make me, the fellowship leader, look good to the church. Since my fellowship had the most young white college kids for a couple of decades I became a sort of poster boy and was a so-called “exemplary shepherd” of an “exemplary fellowship.”

Sick caricature. My justification was that I wanted to raise future white young UBF leaders. The sad result of such a mentality is the caricature of other souls who were not white. Once I heard it said that one who is not white is worth one tenth of a white person. A few weeks ago I heard someone in the church being referred to as “a mental patient,” though she is a lovely young girl who was sadly physically abused as a child. A girl who is not white shared how some would move away from her after church, because they did not want to pray with her two by two. Such painful sentiments clouded my own perspective of people to the extent that I even ignored my own family. (Well, it is because they are not a white boy sheep or a HNW!)

Happy. Today, only by God’s mercy and grace, I am genuinely happy to meet anyone. I was happy to meet my Jewish patient. I am so happy to meet any non-Christian with no agenda other than to be friends. I do not wish to be an elitist church. As our West Loop UBF Church catchphrase says, we want to live out the gospel in life and community with no discrimination. Rather, we pray to especially welcome the less honorable and the unpresentable (1 Cor 12:23-24).

What has your experience been with welcoming the less honorable and the unpresentable?

This convicted and troubled me greatly. It is because after I became a Christian, I cut off anyone and everyone who would not study the Bible, including my own family and old friends. I not only did not have non-Christian friends; in fact I had no friends outside of UBF.

The first thing I did was to reconnect with some of my friends from my past. I have a childhood friend in Singapore who is an atheist. We have known each other for 50 years. But I intentionally broke off all contact with him for 25 years. So I started visiting him again whenever I went back to Singapore to visit my mother in Malaysia. We restored our friendship. I also made friends with a doctor who is my mother’s neighbor. Though he is not religious, I learn much from him, especially about dealing with conflict. Obviously, I still have a long way to go! We became friends.

I also greatly offended my parents and only sibling, a brother. I did not regard them as my own family, since UBF became my spiritual family. I would not visit them in my home country for two decades. I thought I was making a statement as a Christian. My mother once said to me, “My non-Christian friends treat me better than you…and you are a Christian.” My older brother threatened to disown me. At that time, I was unfazed by such statements, reasoning that Jesus was greatly misunderstood by his own mother and brothers.

I started visiting my family and relatives again in Malaysia and Singapore. I wanted to restore the relationships I had intentionally broken. Today, I thank God that my family and old friends no longer think I am rude or self-righteous, while still respecting me as a Christian.

Last week, a girl from church brought her room-mate to meet me. He grew up Buddhist. He claims to be non-religious. If I had met such a person in the past, I would have argued with him intensely to prove that Christ is the way. Our encounter would have been one and done. He would have left angry and distraught. But when I met him I decided to just listen to him and share stories and life freely without any agenda. We laughed a lot together. After meeting him, he asked to meet me regularly because he has many questions about Christianity to ask me. I was pleasantly surprised. The girl who brought him told me privately that he likes meeting with me. When I did not try to prove Christianity to him, he became open and curious about Christianity. Perhaps, we even became friends after just meeting once.

(Over the years I have had dozens of 1:1 Bible study where the “sheep” would meet me once but not twice. I wasn’t sure why. I thought it was because I was crystal clear. Finally, I think I know why!)

For sure I have a long way to go in making friends with non-Christians (or even with Christians!). But in the last few years, I realize that making friends with non-religious people is such an enriching experience. Sometimes they even seem “nicer” than some Christians!

Jesus regarded his disciples as his friends, not his servants or subordinates (Jn 15:15). God is not discriminatory. “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Mt 5:45). Paul says that God “has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy” (Acts 14:17). God is good to all. Shouldn’t I do the same?

Do you have non-religious people who regard you as their best friend?

I would like to share what my dear wife wrote to me in a card celebrating this occasion. I asked her and she gave me permission to share it. In my opinion, she is pretty blunt (thanks to my influence!) but also gracious.

Dear Ben,

After 32 years of marriage, I believe that this year we began to truly embrace the obvious fact that we are very different — in outlook, temperaments, response patterns.

It is clearly the work of God through the gospel that has enabled you (us) to embrace these differences. And I sense that because of this your desire to change or fix me has greatly diminished. This makes me feel better about myself and actually inspires me to want to change, press on forward and be sanctified. It also helps me to respect you as a godly man–in spite of your own glaring faults. :-)

I am also thankful for the change in you, brought on by God’s Spirit working in leading our family and church into a deeper understanding of the gospel. I appreciate your efforts to be  less critical and more patient with me (in driving and making business decisions). There were times when I doubted God’s power to work in us (especially you!). But God’s hand is clearly guiding us in spite of ourselves.

Now my prayer is that God may bind us together more deeply through all the shared events of life, that we may learn what it means to live out the gospel, confess, forgive and experience the power of grace. That most of all our family and marriage may produce a lasting legacy and example for generations to come.

“We love because he first loved us.”

Chris

I had previously shared that if not for UBF I would not be married. My marriage is indeed my happiest story next to the grace of Jesus. I believe that this is also true for the happy couples we have at West Loop, which enables us to be a happy church. Last month our members collectively came up with our catchphrase: “Live out the gospel in life and community.” We can do so when the Spirit of God fills us with the fruit of love, joy and peace (Gal 5:22-23).

Thank God for happy marriages and a happy church. Thank God for my happy wife (in spite of me!).

How different is the East from the West

The Leader. The above picture clearly expresses how Westerners and Easterners regard their leader. To people in the west, the leader is almost just like anyone else. When I first came to the U.S. I was surprised that the President of the U.S. was publicly interrogated and had to defend his policies before journalists. I was also surprised when a medical student and a junior doctor called her professor by his first name. In contrast, an Easterner regards their leader as someone way “above” them. I realized that if anyone questions a UBF leader regarding almost anything (usually an older missionary) that person is regarded as rude, disrespectful and immature. As a result of such strongly pervasive sentiments in our ministry, disagreements and objections get bottled up, being unable to be expressed,…until some explosion occurs. How are we going to address this and navigate this?

Problem Solving. Westerners address problems directly and tackle them head on. But Easterners seem evasive to Westerners when they talk around the problem rather than tackling it directly. At the same time Westerners seem aggressive and confrontational to Easterners because they expect problems to be dealt with directly. Personally and practically, I have found problem solving and conflict resolution to be a most confounding and exasperating issue in UBF on countless occasions to this very day. Blame is put on “the other side.” Because leadership has the “upper hand,” juniors or sheep or indigenous leaders invariably get blamed. If this is an unfair or inaccurate statement, then please enlighten and educate me.

Self Expression. Westerners express themselves in a straight line, while Easterners express themselves with all manner of twists and turns that may be confounding for Westerners to decipher. On the other hand, Easterners perceive Westerners to be brash and abrasive because to them Westerners speak their minds directly, openly and often without nuance or subtlety.

Anger. I find this one quite interesting. When Westerners are angry they often openly express it and let you know it. But when Easterners are angry they act as though they are not angry and that everything is fine. This inforgraphic shows an Easterner smiling when they are angry. To Easterners they perhaps perceive this as being mature and self-controlled. But to Westerners this is perceived as being quite dishonest and not sincere.

Moods and Weather. Westerners like good weather and are unhappy about bad weather, whereas Easterners seem to be OK with both good and bad weather. Because Easterners tend to be more reserved, they are perceived by Westerners to be not real and authentic, but pretentious and fake. On the other hand because Westerners often express their opinions and feelings openly, Easterners perceive them to be childish, immature and lacking in self-control.

I hope that my expressions are not too much of a caricature. If they are, please do express them for my own education and edification. Nonetheless, in your experience and encounters in UBF, are these differences true and real?

All of these infographics were obtained from this post: East Meets West: An Infographics Portrait.

Consider preaching extemporaneously

My typed recollection of my extemporaneous preaching. Let me start by saying that there is nothing wrong with preaching by reading off a manuscript. But do let me suggest that preaching extemporaneously has tremendous benefits that I have personally found. After preaching yesterday on The Kingdom of This World Becomes The Kingdom of Christ (9/29/13), this is my typed recollection of a part of what I preached extemporaneously: Eat The Word, Not Spit It At Others. Feel free to critique it.

Below are my random thoughts and experiences. Let me start with some negative sentiments and bias against extemporaneous preaching.

Extemporaneous preaching seems unspiritual to some older UBFers. Those who have  for decades (20 to 45 years) listened to preaching that is being read from a prepared manuscript may find it very hard to listen to extemporaneous preaching. Older missionaries in particular who have listened predominantly to UBF preaching are very comfortable when they listen to someone reading from a manuscript. They feel as though such a preacher is very well prepared, for they have spent many hours in prayer and in preparing their manuscript with much labor. So when they hear someone preaching without a manuscript, they feel as though that messenger is not prayerful nor prepared, since they seem to be primarily speaking off the cuff from a stream of consciousness. They feel as though the preacher is lazy, unspiritual, unprepared or immature, because they seem to be preaching whatever they like without any weight, gravitas or holiness. In brief, those who are unfamiliar with extemporaneous preaching may despise it and demean it and discredit it.

You cannot give “message training.” When someone is reading off a prepared manuscript you can train the messenger to write and re-write their message over and over again until the message trainer is satisfied. But in my opinion such “UBF message training” has caused some UBF messengers to become unnatural and suboptimal communicators, as many recent comments have said regarding our poorly delivered 2013 ISBC messages. Encouraging and helping younger messengers to preach extemporaneously as a part of their preaching arsenal may be a way of raising more natural preachers and effective communicators of God’s word.

Preaching extemporaneously does not mean preaching without preparation. This should hopefully be obvious. I still write out my sermons as my preparation to preach each week. But I no longer read what I have written. I primarily prepare an outline of what I would preach. For instance, my simple outline of my sermon yesterday (which is quite easily memorized) is:

I. The Kingdom of The World: Under Judgment (The most unpopular message of the Bible)

• Devastation – Devastation of the world (Rev 8:6-12): The first four trumpets.

• Woe – Woe, woe, woe to those who reject God (Rev 8:13-9:19): The fifth and sixth trumpet.

• Idolatry – Refusal to repent of idolatry (Rev 9:20-21).

II. The Kingdom of Christ: Under Grace (Nothing can thwart the final victory of God)

• Prayer – The purpose of God is accomplished through the prayers of the people of God (Rev 8:1-5).

• Prophesy – The mystery of God will be accomplished (Rev 10:1-11): Take and eat the scroll, which is sweet and bitter.

• Power – The witness of the people of God, the church (Rev 11:1-14): God’s providence, provision and protection despite devastation and destruction

• Praise – God will reign (Rev 11:15-19): The kingdom of Christ is the final and ultimate reality of the people of God.

With this outline I preached extemporaneously for about 40 min.

Some benefits of preaching extemporaneously:

• I depend on the Holy Spirit more than on my well prepared notes.
• I share things on the spur of the moment that I did not think of during my preparation.
• I speak conversationally, rather than lecturing others.
• I share stories, rather than speak down to others.
• I am like my audience, and not above my audience.
• I can gauge my audience’s response better and speak longer or less.

A reason you might not want to preach extemporaneously. It will scare the living daylights out of you the first time you walk to the podium to preach without any notes! The first time I did so, I felt as though the ground would open and swallow me alive.

Would UBF messages and the teaching of Scripture be helped by learning and practicing how to preach extemporaneously?

Building one’s own kingdom

Leave and go. God’s intent and directional flow is for everyone to leave his father and mother and go forth to begin anew by exploring the world as good stewards (Gen 2:24). But after sin was born, every man’s sinful default is to do the very opposite. Instead of leaving and exploring, man stays to build up their own small kingdoms. Sadly, this is what churches and Christian ministries have done over the centuries. A church starts well by the work of the Holy Spirit. They may grow and even explode, as I believe UBF did for a few decades. But after an initial period of growth, stagnation and eventual decline often happens, as seems to be presently happening throughout the UBF world. Why?

So many good churches. There are many reasons. For one, people have many more options, and choices of many great churches to go to. Even around UIC and West Loop, I have become friends with many local pastors, who are truly godly Christian men and excellent preachers, pastors and teachers, who are serving many in the community I live in as well as reaching out to UIC students.

The need to control others. Nonetheless, I maintain that the primary reason anyone leaves any church is because of a weakened or broken relationship, often caused by the need of one person to control the other person. Again, isn’t it true that so many native leaders left UBF over the past decade mainly because they felt that their chapter director wanted to keep their authority and control over them? Isn’t it true that those chapter director(s) simply could not bear to lose their control and authority over their so-called “sheep”? Didn’t they want so badly to keep their sheep under them that God scattered them to other churches?

Let my people go. A major point that I have repeatedly said over the past decade is: “Let my people go” (Ex 9:1). If Christian leaders try to forcibly and coercively hold their church members, they weaken and eventually break their relationship with them. Worse yet, they are resisting the biblical mandate to go into all the world (Mk 16:15). Even if they do not go to all nations (Mt 28:19), at least let them go out into their own community of choice, based on their own initiative and preference without undue interference by the hierarchy of the church. Can we let local leaders lead? This allows for the free flowing organic work of the Holy Spirit (Jn 3:8), which is sadly often quenched by some Christian leaders who act as though it is their right to control the work of the Holy Spirit.

You’re not ready. UBF grew much initially because the Holy Spirit worked mightily. Samuel Lee allowed able young leaders to have stewardship and leadership over their own chapters and churches in their 30s. But these leaders who are now in their 50s and 60s are not willing to allow their own members in their 30s to lead their own chapters and churches. They say, “they are not ready,” or “they need more humbleness training,” etc. Isn’t this simply an excuse for keeping people with them and controlling people under them?

Is God scattering people from UBF, because some leaders in UBF are trying to hold and control people excessively?

I promised her that I will humbly blog on some of my special unique sins as a pastor and leader in UBF. This is going to be painful, ouch.

Tripp calls it the encroachment of the kingdom of self into our Christian ministry/church, where we shift our treasure from Christ to ourselves. This is then expressed through the way we serve the ministry/ church. He identifies five of a long list of what he calls “treasure shifts,” which is idolatry–the idolatry of self, expressed through our pastoring, preaching, teaching and leading the church.

1. Moving from Identity in Christ to Identity in Ministry. For decades my most deeply felt identity was in being a so-called “exemplary fruitful UBF shepherd and 1:1 Bible teacher.” Of course, I say that I identify myself as being a child of God (Jn 1:12), saved only by his grace (Eph 2:8-9). But the reality is that for decades I have been far more moved and happy about my horizontal identity in UBF as a fruitful exemplary shepherd.

2. Defining My Spiritual Well-Being by My Ministry. Yes, I had many sheep and many disciples. But Tripp says that growth in influence must not be confused with growth in grace. The fact that many became Christians through my shepherding is really no measure of my spiritual maturity in Christ. Because of my “outward success” I viewed myself as being more mature that I actually am. I became primarily inclined and motivated to teach others, without clearly coming under my own teaching and preaching (Rom 2:21).

3. Hunger for Honor and for the Praise of People. I am always so happy to hear whenever anyone mentions my name. Since there are many doctors in UBF, whenever anyone says Dr. I anticipate that it would be Ben following the Dr., even though countless times it is Dr. “someone else.” That is how self centered I became in living for the praise and acknowledgement of people in the church (Jn 5:44; 12:43). Clearly, I have become seduced by the treasure of my own reputation.

4. Seeing Myself as Way Too Essential to What God is Doing. Basically, I think and feel as though I am indispensable, and that without me, the work of God would be greatly and negatively impacted. Functionally, I think and feel as though I am the Messiah and savior for many “helpless sheep.” Without me, who can solve their “marriage problem”?

5. Depending on My Own Experience and Gifts. My “gift”—for what it’s worth—is that I am direct and confrontational, bold and blunt, abrupt and abrasive. So I tend to think that unless people are clearly directly challenged, they will never repent. I also depended excessively on my decades of experience in serving sheep, such that my prayer and wisdom are clearly deficient. Once, I would not listen to others about waiting before blessing a young couple to marry, thinking that through my own shepherding, dozens of people have previously married by faith. Then when this couple subsequently divorced, I saw my own ugly overweening pride in depending on my own experience.

This likely just touches the tip of the iceberg regarding the depth of my depravity and sins. May God have mercy on me and lead me to himself.

I hope my wife is pleased with this post!! (I hear a voice saying in my head, “Repent, you incorrigible sinner!”)

Can you relate to these “leader idolatries”?

Ben Toh did not start UBFriends! There is supposedly a rumor circulating that Ben Toh started UBFriends with ignoble intent. This shocked even me! As much as I would love to take credit for having the ingenuity and creative genius to start UBFriends, but TBT and TBH and FWIW I am so sorry to disappoint you that I was NOT involved in starting UBFriends. In fact, I had never blogged when UBFriends published its first article on June 24, 2010 (my first article was published five months later on Nov 4).

Brian was a hardcore UBF loyalist when he joined Joe to start UBFriends in 2010. This might be most surprising to many people. UBF people think that Brian was a “really bad guy” from the outset of UBFriends. But Brian writes, “It is interesting to look back, Joe. When you asked me to join this effort (of starting UBFriends), I was a ubf loyalist, I was ‘in.’ No one, especially me, would have ever dreamed of any remote possibility that I would ever even consider leaving the ministry. Indeed I had no intention of ever doing such a thing.” I thought this is so interesting because of the things UBF insiders say about Brian. But the Brian who started UBFriends was as “harcore hardline UBF” as any other. Surprising, right??

Joe says that UBFriends today happened by default. What? UBFriends was not started to stir controversy?? UBFriends today was not what Joe originally intended. Rather, it happened according to the deep needs of UBF people who had no place in most UBF chapters to share their hearts freely, openly and safely. While responding to Terry about safe places where people can freely speak up, this is what Joe wrote:

“Because UBF never created the space for victims to process their stories, UBFriends has now become that space. When we started this website three years ago, that was not our intention. But that is what happened by default, by necessity, because there was literally nowhere else where someone who was hurt by ubf could tell the story and have at least a few current ubf members listen without being dismissed. As a founder of this website, it does pain me to see that this website has morphed into something other than what I had envisioned. But it pains me much more when members of the ubf community criticize this website as unproductive and unhealthy… Until UBF creates generous safe spaces within itself for these stories to be heard and validated and processed by the community, I will not discourage anyone from sharing those stories here.”

Can UBF people freely ask ANY QUESTION? My personal hope is that more and more UBF leaders will process and understand the above paragraph. The gist of it may be that some UBF leaders and chapters do not welcome any serious probing questions about their authority or about ongoing and long standing unhealthy or abusive practices. Until this changes, I predict that UBFriends will continue to thrive. I am surprised at the spurts of increased traffic and comments on this website, most recently over the past week. I am still shocked that there are 355 comments on my recent article about my concerns about the 2013 ISBC! This suggests just how much UBF people are unable to freely discuss their concerns in their own UBF chapter or with their own shepherds and leaders, either at present or in the past or both.

In brief, Ben Toh did not start UBFriends, Brian was “hardcore UBF” when he started UBFriends in 2010, and Joe’s intention was not what UBFriends has become today. I hope this clears up a few misconceptions. Any other questions? Comments?

She loves gardening; I don’t. She loves traveling and seeing places; I don’t. I am picky about what I eat; she isn’t. I love sports; she doesn’t. I love macho movies like the Terminator; she doesn’t. She loves the Garfield movie voiced by Bill Murray, while that “horrible” movie drives me insane! She is (probably) an Arminian; I am (definitely) a Calvinist.

Our personalities are also at opposite ends of the spectrum. She is perfectionistic and follows rules; I am a non-conformist and break all rules possible. She is detail oriented; I completely ignore details. I am highly autonomous and self-functioning, while she insists that I fill her in on my plans (which I often forget to do!). She avoids conflict; I seek it and thrive on it. According to her she has the common sense…. I have to sadly confess that I cannot deny that!

I felt inspired to write this after reading Ed Stetzer’s post: Ten Things I’ve Learned After 26 Years of Marriage. So what have I learned about my marriage?

1. The more I love Jesus, the more I love my wife and the happier our marriage is.
2. My love, friendship and intimacy with my wife gives me a glimpse and a foretaste of my ultimate union with Jesus when he comes again.
3. There is nothing happier in all of life this side of heaven than when God’s love and grace is the foundation of our marriage.
4. Because of God’s love poured out into our marriage, God gives us grace to also love others, as He has loved us.
5. We learn to love each others’ “highly annoying idiosyncrasies.” We both love this very practical and realistic phrase that I first heard from John Piper.
6. The best way to love my children is to love their mother. And I cannot “fake” loving their mother. My four kids will sniff it out a mile away.
7. Our four kids have been our very best marriage counselors. The best advice I received from my kids are, “Dad, don’t make mom cry!!!”
8. Only God makes “marriage by faith” work, since I did not know anything about my wife before marriage.
9. Our three cats enhance the quality and joy of our already happy marriage.
10. My wife loving me despite myself helps me to more deeply realize just how much God loves me despite myself.
11. A happy wife is a happy life. There is no greater joy this side of heaven than to see my wife happy.
12. Marriage points to God, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit, and to the Gospel of our salvation.

Do share your pearls of wisdom from your own marriage.

Please cause trouble!

Does the Pope’s exhortation ring true for UBF??? Sometimes I wonder if UBF is more interested in primarily catering to our missionaries and coddling our older UBF leaders, or are we truly focused on winning indigenous people to Christ and truly empowering them (rather than trying to control them, such as by giving them years of “message training,” which has sadly distorted the natural way that they would normally speak in their own native tongue).

Destabilizing the status quo. The church has attracted leaders of the worst kind: megalomanics, bullies and leaders who do not know how to form healthy relationships with their own members (sheep). Such leaders are toxic. They break bruised reeds (Mt 12:20; Isa 42:3) and wound others without apology, while claiming that they are shepherding them. But the church also attracts rebels for Christ’s cause. These latter kinds of people–the trouble makers–are the difference makers whom the Pope seem to be speaking to, for only trouble-makers destabilize the unhealthy status quo.

What might the lifestyle and character of a healthy spiritual trouble-maker look like? As I read this list, I wondered if any senior UBF leader has encouraged any of this among UBF people?

• Trouble-makers own their own spiritual growth, and do not rely on their church to be the primary place of spiritual formation in their lives.
• Trouble-makers do not wait to be asked by a pastor to use their spiritual gifts for the benefit of others in the Church. They aren’t especially concerned that the graces God gave them to give others may or may not fit on that congregational org chart on a wall in a church leader’s office. They do their level best to respect their leaders’ structures and authority, but they refuse to stop thinking for themselves or silencing the leading of the Holy Spirit.
• Trouble-makers are willing to ask and answer hard questions.
• Trouble-makers may not always have perfect manners, but are motivated by love. Love keeps trouble-makers from becoming full-on jerks.
• Trouble-makers recognize that Jesus is not calling them to form self-protective, cozy cliques.
• Trouble-makers worship God, recognizing that adoration is the ultimate act of disruption.
• Trouble-makers ask the Holy Spirit to test their motives. They understand if they have a sense of entitlement or a rush toward self-justification about an issue, they’ve probably veered off course somewhere.
• Trouble-makers understand that transformation – their own and the Bride to whom they belong – always requires more courage than they currently possess. Dependence on God fuels their willingness to disrupt the stale status quo.

Isn’t it beautiful that “adoration is the ultimate act of disruption”? Based on these characteristics, I am prompted to ask some hard questions:

• Does senior UBF leaders welcome trouble-makers, or do they try to silence them?
• Does UBF encourage initiative or do they create a spirit of dependency on UBF?
• Does UBF encourage critical thinking or expect unquestioning submission?
• Do UBF leaders encourage asking hard questions, or to defer to them for answers?
• Are some top UBF leaders too comfortable with their own positions of power and leadership, which they have held for decades and counting?
• Are they in a self-protective oligarchy that seems determined to preserve the status quo?

• Or are they willing to truly entrust authority to indigenous leaders different from them and trust the Holy Spirit (Jn 3:8)?

Have all trouble-makers left UBF (or were forced out)? Is anyone left in UBF who is willing to boldly be a trouble-maker to disrupt the stale status quo? Is leaving UBF the most appealing option for trouble-makers? Do you agree with the Pope that we should make trouble?

My firm conviction is that any preacher or messenger is most helped when they are honestly told how well or poorly they did. If a preacher does not wish to listen to any unfavorable critique of their preaching, then they will not improve as a preacher, even after decades of preaching. (Saying, “You gave a wonderful message helps no one.”)

My opinion of those who preached and gave their life testimonies at the 2013 ISBC is that they are genuine Christians and lovely people. They willingly sacrificed so much of their life, their time and their family in order to receive countless hours of message training over several months. This fact alone speaks volumes about them. They are surely very humble people in that they willingly allowed themselves to speak WHAT others ultimately wanted them to speak, as well as to some degree speak HOW others wanted them to speak, gesture and perform.

I love UBF people as my brothers and sisters. But a big reason I did not attend the conference is the suboptimal quality of our UBF messages and sermons. The spoken word is the primary instrument that the Spirit uses to transform hearts and lives (Jn 6:63; 1 Cor 2:13; 2 Tim 4:2; Ac 6:7; 12:24; 13:49; 19:20). So if our preaching of the Word is poor or suboptimal or predictable, this does not speak favorably about UBF’s future.

The generally unfavorable comments about this year’s ISBC messages were virtually similar and identical to the comments from other UBF conferences in virtually every continent and country where there are UBF conferences. These comments were suppressed and not welcomed in the early years of UBF. But over the past decade comments about UBF messages are now increasingly articulated more and more for everyone in UBF to read and hear if they want to.

Some significant reasons our UBF messages “sound the same” is because it seems to be recycled from earlier UBF messages written over preceding decades. Also, the so-called “message trainers” tend to be the same people year in and year out for decades. These trainers are older missionaries and UBF staff, whose primary language is not English. Or the trainers are those who have been trained by the missionaries, and whose manner of English speaking has already been unnaturally altered by the training that they themselves have received for years from the older missionary and staff.

A common complaint is that UBF messages are spoken too slowly, and not at the pace and cadence of the way American English is normally and naturally spoken. Also, English UBF messages tends to come across as unnatural, scripted, predictable, formulaic, tired, and “the same as before.” Understandably, these obvious defects and nuances of speaking English are generally not perceived or addressed or corrected by the missionary trainers (or the native trainers trained by the missionary) because spoken English is not their primary language. As the saying goes, “A fish swimming in dirty water does not know that the water is dirty.”

What then can be done? These are some simple suggestions and proposals.

1. The messenger should read, listen to and learn from many non-UBF sermons (and commentaries) written and preached by renown preachers, theologians and scholars in order to get a sense of the broad scope and broad range of how different Christians preach and explain the same biblical text. This will begin to produce diversity and variation in our UBF messages, instead of always sounding the same. Francis Bacon says, “Reading makes a full man…”
2. Let the messenger write and prepare for his or her own message/sermon in their own way. Most great preachers in history (even from their teenage years and early 20s) wrote or prepared to preach their own sermons by doing their own preparation and research without being “trained” by someone else. Did anyone notice that the unanimously best speaker at the 2013 ISBC is a non-UBF American missionary who has never received any message training in her entire life? Can we learn anything about good public speaking from her?
3. The messenger’s content should be uniquely theirs and not ultimately those of the message trainer.
4. The messenger’s preaching must sound like the the messenger rather than sound like the message trainer. Therefore, do not “train” the messenger. This makes the messenger sound like the trainer, rather than sounding like himself or herself. Do not over-train the messenger. Training and over training makes the preached message sound scripted, rehearsed and unnatural, rather than fresh and new.
5. Replace the 5 oldest “message trainers” with 5 others, preferably those whose primary spoken language is English.
6. Those who are messengers should be those who believe they are called and gifted by God to preach. They should not just be those who are told or appointed by their UBF leaders, usually on account of their loyalty, faithfulness and commitment to UBF.
7. To know whether or not one is called to preach should not just be their own desire to preach, or the desire of their leader or shepherd for them. It should include the genuine opinion of their listeners. It is obvious that some Christians are not called to preach or teach (Jas 3:1), but to serve Jesus in some other way.
8. Allow the Holy Spirit to be the trainer. Trust the Holy Spirit rather than trusting one’s own massive preparation.

Can you add to this list of simple suggestions and advice?

There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on “How to live in a loving relationship with your husband.” The women were asked, “How many of you love your husbands?” All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?” Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn’t remember.

The women were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective husband: “I love you, sweetheart.”

Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
2. What now? Did you crash the car again?
3. I don’t understand what you mean?
4. What did you do now? I won’t forgive you this time!!!
5. ?!?
6. Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
7. Am I dreaming? ???????
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today…!!!
9. I asked you not to drink anymore!!

And the best one …….

10. Who is this?

When I shared my concerns about the international conference, little did I realize that it would become the second most commented article with over 350 comments. Several friends and family in UBF shared with me privately that they felt as though I threw them under the bus with my “negative” article. For this I am sorry. My intent was my hope and prayer that some of the negative experiences from past UBF conferences would be seriously addressed and improved upon, which I think did happen to some degree.

Though I did not attend the ISBC, I watched some of it on live streaming. This would be good for those (introverts such as myself) who would rather watch in the comfort of my home while babysitting with my wife. From what I saw and heard:

• The music and band was good. Though I did not see it, I heard that the New York band was very good. The Lincoln Park band which I saw twice on Sat night and Sun morning was awesome. The violin solo by Joy Vucekovich was excellent.
• The video presentation of the continents was generally good, though gc expressed his “most disappointing observation”.
• The basketball tournament generated tons of interest and sheer excitement.
• The 40 separate interest groups on Saturday afternoon generated much positive buzz and good reports. I saw the marriage powerpoint presentation of Kevin and Julie Jasmer which is very very good. I would highly recommend this for all married couples. Mark Mederich shared that Andy/Waterloo did a nice job of presenting about the work of the Holy Spirit.
• Several people expressed to me that the testimony of an American missionary on Friday afternoon was the highlight of the conference and very very moving.
• That over 100 people responded to the altar call on Saturday night was encouraging (though I am personally not a “fan” of the altar call, which was popularized by Charles Finney during the Second Great Awakening and by Billy Graham).
• I heard of a second gen who was a professed atheist who began breaking down in tears and coming back to faith in Christ.
• I know of not a few “unknown UBFers” who worked their butt off (with no political agenda) to serve the conference in countless ways behind the scenes. Though they may be exhausted and burnt out from overwork, yet they did so willingly simply because they love Jesus, and they love His church. They are my heroes.

Clearly, God is alive and at work at the ISBC. But there are also the less favorable comments, which primarily have to do with the sermons, the life testimonies and the “training.”

• Sheepherd1 felt that “this conference is a really blessed one” and also said: “To be honest, the testimony sharers and the messengers were very unnatural to the way they deliver their messages. They almost sounds the same and same tone of speech. My other observation is that people seem to mention the word “training” a lot in this conference.” – Read the entire comment here.
• Sibboleth shared similar and other concerns: “The messages are essentially the same tired ones I heard many years ago. (Moran did try to change it up a little, God bless ‘im). The life testimonies follow the same formula they did many years ago. You thought they sounded flat? I did too. That’s because they were flat. Where’s the depth? They produced flashy promotional videos that contained zero honesty about the troubled history of UBF in places like Canada and Germany. Honesty is depth. Where’s the depth?”
• Chris shared that UBF conferences glorifies UBF rather than God: “Isn’t showing all the ‘greatness’ of UBF also a sign of pride? Sure, outwardly, they wrap it as ‘all the Glory to God’ and appear to be humble, but in reality, all this glory goes to UBF.”

Understandably, unfavorable comments of those who are still in UBF were made anonymously. Perhaps, someday soon they may be made openly and publicly in UBF without any fear of retribution, shaming, gossip, humiliation, “training,” and marginalization.

I have intentionally shared many good things about the 2013 ISBC. For sure, the Holy Spirit was working in the hearts of many who participated and attended, seemingly more so among the younger generation.

Would you also care to share your HOT reflections and thoughts?

Why do we need such a distinction between good and bad shepherding? It is because every Christian’s default is on the left side of the table. Without the work of the Spirit and the spirit of humility no one falls on the right side apart from Christ. For instance, the 12 UBF spiritual legacies itemized by Brian have tremendous potential for good. What Christian will ever say, “I disagree that we should go back to the Bible”? The problem entirely lies with the way a shepherd or UBF leader understands the phrase “go back to the Bible,” and the way he/she applies and implements it. All the problems of “go back to the Bible” or any of the 12 UBF legacies depend entirely on the way the shepherd/leader understands them and applies them to his/her chapter.

Is this contrast clear and self-evident?

Can you add any further distinctions between these 2 kinds of shepherding?

Reference: Shepherding Sheep (Mt 20:25-28).

Also, I now write even more than when I was writing one testimony every week. Presently, I write out and post one sermon a week on westloop-church.org (which I do not read on Sun since I prefer to preach extemporaneously). I also blog or comment on UBFriends almost daily. My 27 years of weekly testimony writing surely helped my writing and blogging today. Thank God for 27 years of testimony writing! Thank God that I am also now so elated that I’m also done with it for good.

The greatest joy of no longer writing testimonies is that I am reading so much more. I also listen to preaching online, preferring reformed preaching primarily. I have read more Christian books since I stopped writing testimonies in the last few years than I did for the preceding three decades. Reading has helped me to broaden and deepen my understanding of the Bible and Christianity, which was quite poor. For instance, I thought I knew the Bible very well since I read the Bible daily and wrote testimonies every week for over a quarter of a century. But when I began to read, I realized how limited my knowledge of the Bible was, both in scope and depth. I also love to read blogs, especially related to Christianity, movies, sports and food.

Since I stopped writing testimonies I also no longer judge UBF people based on whether or not they write their testimonies. When I was writing and sharing testimonies weekly, I always (inwardly) felt annoyed by those who did not write or share their testimonies. Now I am happy to embrace and enjoy anyone regardless of their testimony writing status! This seems like a small thing, but it is exhilarating to me to inclusively welcome everyone in the gospel, rather than to feel annoyed by some simply because of a sense of exclusivity, elitism and superiority based on whether or not a person writes their testimony!

In future blogs I may also share how my Christian life has been enriched beyond measure since I’m also done with…

• fishing,
• going to the campus,
• preparing Bible study binders,
• having 1:1 Bible studies,
• restricting dating among singles,
• teaching “marriage by faith,”
• giving “message training,”
• “training” people,
• attending “mandatory” meetings,
• attending conferences,
• addressing friends with titles,
• studying UBF messages, etc.

I am done with all of the above and more because the gospel is the gospel of freedom (Gal 5:1; 2 Cor 3:17). Is it truly true that the truth will truly set you free? (Jn 8:32) Are you truly free in Christ alone?

I hope that UBF leaders will at least begin to LISTEN to what the UBF system has done. I copied their 10 points:

1. Less self-confidence: I have less self-confidence. This is directly from the focus on my sin for 20 years. (Is it because UBF leaders hold their sheep’s sin over them?)

2. Hinders a relationship with God: I am floundering in developing a relationship with God. It was good to understand that simply doing things did nothing for my relationship with God, but it is has been hard to develop ways to bring me closer to God. (Is it because UBF focuses on works, performance and behavior?)

3. Hinders relationships with people: It has been a hindrance in my relationships with people. Trust is definitely the issue here. Also, I never had time to develop healthy relationships, even with my wife and children, so this is new ground. (Is it because the UBF leader does not build relationships with their sheep, and instead primarily gives direction and orders?)

4. Becoming critical: It has been hard to find a healthy church-my experiences have made me overly critical. (Is it because the UBF leader is critical rather than gracious?) (For 1-4, see more at: http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/06/29/puppets-on-a-string/#comment-8995)

5. Difficulty in making my own decisions: I had so much direction in UBF that I struggle now in making a large decision on my own. (Do UBF leaders make decisions for their sheep? For instance, make them go to a conference when they don’t want to or can’t afford it?)

6. Tendency to please people: Not speaking until I have discerned what I’m expected to say, not acting until I know what’s the norm, how people will react, thinking about people’s reaction more than what God’s will is. (Is it because the UBF leader impresses upon you that you have to please them?)

7. Confusion and loss of identity: Confusion over what my family’s “mission” or role is within Christ’s church and within the local church also. Before we were clearly a “house church” and “shepherd family,” but what are we now? There’s a loss of identity as a family. (Is it because the UBF leader tells you who you should be, rather than allow you to discover for yourself who you are in Christ?) (For 5-7 see more at: http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/06/29/puppets-on-a-string/#comment-8995)

8. How to be a husband. (Did the UBF leader model how to be a husband who loves his wife?)

9. How to be a father. (Did the UBF leader model how to be a father who does not exasperate his children, or his sheep?)

10. How to have an outlet for what I’ve learned. (For 8-10 see more at: http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/06/29/puppets-on-a-string/#comment-8995)

Can anyone add to this list?

Why has the UBF system caused this? My simplistic answer is the need by UBF leaders to have control over others, which is the root of sin of every human being. (I think that UBF needs to begin teaching that the root of sin is to desire control over God and others.) The need for control is in fact a much greater sin in older Christian leaders than in young sheep. Will UBF ever learn to let go of their need for control? Do UBF leaders truly believe that the Holy Spirit knows better what to do with UBF than they do?

Finally, will UBF listen and take to heart even one of these 10 points? Does UBF understand that some leaders have oppressed, stymied and disfigured the image of God in their sheep? That they have caused PTSD-like symptoms in them? That exUBFers have needed expensive Christian counseling after leaving UBF? That they have been gossiped about and regarded very negatively and critically after leaving UBF? (Sorry that I always have far more questions than I do have answers!)

How has UBF responded to such heartfelt accounts of spiritual abuse? Sorry to say that the loudest response is most often SILENCE. Next, the “typical” response from many in leadership has been quite defensive, as though the abuse experienced was somehow justifiable, if not acceptable. Why is this? Might this be because UBF has consciously or subconsciously apotheosized, revered and venerated her leaders?

The following are some common responses to allegations of spiritual abuse in UBF:

* “There are two sides of the story.” This may be the single most common excuse or reasoning for defending abusive UBF leaders. It acknowledges that the leader may have said or done some bad things. But the sheep who complained has also some very serious problems and sin issues that the abusive leader knows about. The implication of “two sides of the story” is that the abusive UBF leader is NOT fully responsible for the abuse of their sheep. Why? Because their sheep are also terrible and horrible “worse” sinners who in some way—known to the abusive UBF leader—deserved that abuse. Really?

* “Aren’t you also a sinner?” The horrible logic here is that because you are a sinner too, so how dare you accuse your UBF shepherd of sinning!! Aren’t you being a hypocrite?

* “You must forgive!” This skillfully and craftily shifts the burden of responsibility from the abusive UBF leader to the sheep who is addressing the spiritual abuse of UBF. It is like a husband who beat his Christian wife. After that he comes to her with a Bible and says, “As a Christian, you must forgive me.” Somehow, some in Christian leadership buy this logic.

* “You were blessed by UBF, so how dare you complain!” Such planting of indebtedness by some UBF leaders practically takes credit for the work of the Holy Spirit. When a sheep becomes a Christian (or a renewed Christian) after Bible study, this is clearly ONLY the work of the Holy Spirit. The Bible teacher/shepherd was ONLY the instrument. So if the shepherd made the sheep feel indebted, they have robbed God of his glory. Such a thinking is sadly ongoing to this day. “UBF taught you the Bible. UBF introduced your spouse. We fed you meals. You are so ungrateful. You are bitter and unforgiving.” It is the classical ad hominem argument that the problem of UBF is the problem of the person addressing the issue.

* Because God blessed UBF, UBF is OK. It is as though the bad of UBF is OK because God had blessed UBF for 50 years. This is very subtle and very flawed theological thinking.

Perhaps others have heard more creative and ingenious reasons to justify and defend the UBF leader for longstanding patterns of abusive behavior. But at its core do you think it is because UBF has apotheosized her leaders?

1. Free spirited.

2. Fearless.

3. Bold.

4. Takes the initiative.

5. Speaks out. Speaks his/her mind freely.

6. Independent minded.

7. Follows one’s conscience or the Holy Spirit, rather than the leader.

8. Not asking for permission or approval or consulting the leader first.

9. Not deferring to the leader (which the leader expects).

10. Not giving credit to the leader (where the leader feels dishonored).

11. Being more fruitful than the leader (where the leader feels shamed).

12. Acts like a leader.

From my limited knowledge of Rebekah BK, I think she had most if not all of the above traits. (In contrast, the “hidden spiritual director” was totally submissive to SL and she likely acted as a spy for him.) Before she married, Rebekah started Toledo UBF almost single-handedly–without being officially sent out by UBF. From my wife’s recollection, she was tough, fearless, independent, self-directed, initiative driven, and a very fruitful Christian woman. In the late 70s and 80s Toledo UBF had the most American sheep of any USA UBF chapter including the HQ in Chicago (which had many missionaries but few Americans). My thinking is that SL likely felt that she was too wild. Thus, he likely tried to tame her, train her, control her, humble her and mold her to fit the image of the kind of person he expected her to be. But I would have to categorically say that if he did indeed try to turn her husband James K against her, it is simply reprehensible and deserving of censure.

I think that many Christians who left UBF after being committed members for many years likely have some if not most of the above 12 traits. Am I right? If so, it is really quite sad. It is the reason why some accuse UBF of raising clones (of the chapter director) and of being a Korean church.

Thus, I pose this question: Is UBF raising Christ-centered leaders or UBF-centered followers? Does UBF allow her younger leaders to truly lead with their own style and initiative? Or must they lead based on the terms, conditions and approval of their chapter director?

This is moving to me because the Bible NEVER gives any wiggle room for making excuses, for blaming others, for being evasive, for not telling the truth, for slander and gossip, for justifying, rationalizing, defending or covering up wrongdoing, and especially for not taking responsibility.

Once a junior UBF leader told me that their chapter director said, “My chapter is not growing because of YOU.” Did this chapter director take responsibility? Does he need to learn from LeBron and from the Bible about how to be a leader?

When one felt abused by their Bible teacher or chapter director, some share painfully what happened because of their inner agony. My sentiment is, “I’m so sorry this happened.” But the response heard from UBF is silence, or “There is another side to the story.” Is this taking responsibility?

For sure UBF takes responsibility for campus mission, which is good. But do we equally and urgently take (personal and corporate) responsibility for wrongdoing and spiritual abuses (which are now surfacing more and more)? Do we take responsibility for what is being said about UBF on Wikepedia (which anyone can now google to find out)?

Granted that it is hard to take responsibility when you fail (Gen 3:11-14). When I hurt my wife, it is hard for me to take responsibility that I have failed to adequately love my dear wife. But the mark of Christian maturity is humility. The evidence of humility is the ability to freely apologize and take responsibility for mistakes, errors, abuses and sins.

How has UBF been doing with regards to taking responsibility? Can we learn from LeBron?

The bad/ugly. Despite many such wonderful things that have happened in and through UBF over the last half a century, UBFriends describes countless unpleasant negative experiences and abuses, which I have also witnessed, experienced and encountered. Sadly, there are longstanding members of UBF who would summarily discount anything shared on UBFriends, perhaps because they would like to hear ONLY my first paragraph above. Anything besides “good things experienced in UBF” has been categorized as UBF bashing, negative, discouraging, ungrateful, bitter, and the like.

How can we explain both the exhilarating highs of UBF (the good) and the downright depressing discouraging lows (the bad/ugly)?

Good and evil. The exhilarating highs experienced in UBF is clearly the work of God in the hearts and lives of people. The downright depressing lows are caused by the cunning devious schemes of the devil to create discontent, discord and division.

One major cause for the bad/ugly. I have lumped all the unpleasantries and negative experiences in UBF under “authoritarain leadership,” which lords over sheep and exercises authority over them, and which often results in spiritual abuse. In the 10 Commandments of UBF I addressed in 10 Commands what UBF must stop doing, especially Commandment #3: “You shall not be Lord over your sheep or replace the Holy Spirit in their life.” I also spoke out against intrusive coercive lording over shepherding of sheep in guidelines for best shepherding practice. But since this has been going on and ongoing for 50 years, it may be years or decades before such practices stop to a significant degree, since “bad habits die hard.”

Both good and bad/ugly. UBF loyalists might like my first paragraph, but regard the rest as unnecessary. Those who experienced authoritarian abuse would welcome this post, and perhaps have some discomfort about the glowing first paragraph. My contention is that UBF is both good and bad/ugly. I praise God for the good and give Him all the credit and glory. But the bad/ugly is the work of Satan that desperately requires God’s merciful intervention as we cry out to him.

To those hurt by UBF, can the good you experienced in UBF curb the bad you experienced? To UBF loyalists, can the good you experienced in UBF not hold you back from clearly addressing, confronting and condemning what is bad and ugly about UBF? Sorry for such awkward questions. But I ask them because the former are regarded as UBF bashers, while the latter are regarded as those who condone evil out of blind loyalty.

In 2013, the current UBF General Director, changed parts of his New Year’s address based on comments he received from several UBF people. He was told that the content of his overall message was very good. But some of his comments and application were insensitive, especially toward those who have experienced spiritual abuse at the hands of UBF chapter directors and Korean missionaries in various parts of the world, including the U.S. and Canada. Truth be told, he did not realize and never intended to be offensive or insensitive. Also, he graciously welcomed the comments without being defensive. Then he removed the offensive parts of his message. This was greatly encouraging to me and to many others. His message, without the offensive elements, was well received by the UBF staff and leaders.

This, I believe, is an excellent praiseworthy model of a Christian leader–one who is able to receive unfavorable comments and critique without being personally offended, and then humbly making the necessary corrections. I believe that our current general director is a humble man of God who loves Jesus: he wants to do what is right before God and for the good of the future of the people of God in UBF. That is why I respect him.

What about other older UBF chapter directors and missionaries? Are they as open and welcoming to unfavorable comments, objections and critiques? Do they think that it is OK for young people to question their leadership over their chapter or over UBF?

Sadly, in my opinion, there are some older “clandestine” UBF chapter directors and missionaries who do not humbly welcome objections, corrections, challenges, or critique. They take it personally as an insult and as an affront. They behave as though no one junior to them has the right to call them to be accountable, or to answer to any questions of inappropriate speech or actions. Their subjective response is “How dare you?” Those who have been in UBF for over 2-3 decades know who those UBF leaders are. UBFriends does not single out perpetrators. We respect current and former UBF people, including the UBF leaders who were spiritually abusive, and who may continue to be authoritarian. But we will address such behavior, because it dishonors God and hurts people in the church of UBF, which is the bride and the body of Christ.

Furthermore, does the Bible teach that younger people should not rebuke, challenge, or correct their older (church) leader? Well, Nathan, a subject of King David, rebuked the king, who has authority over him. Paul, a newer apostle rebuked Peter, the most senior apostle. Countless (unpopular) prophets rebuked countless (established) religious leaders and kings in Israel. Jesus, a young itinerant evangelist severely and very very negatively rebuked the top religious leaders of Israel who were all older than him. Heck, even  a donkey rebuked Balaam the prophet.

From my observations, some UBF chapter directors and missionaries have privately and publicly corrected and rebuked their sheep for all sorts of things–sometimes without restraint and with intolerance, indignation and anger. Their attitude is “Keep spiritual order. Just obey. Don’t question.” Isn’t this abusive? Do some UBF leaders make unilateral decisions that affect you without first discussing with you? Do they meddle with your life as shepherds “over” you?

As much as such UBF leaders expect their sheep and juniors to be accountable to them, are they likewise equally accountable? Do they welcome correction? Can their decisions be questioned? Can we ask that they be accountable? Or should our attitude be: “we should trust God and not question them, since God appointed them (and not you) as the leader”?