Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us go back and visit the believers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing.” Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the believers to the grace of the Lord (Acts 15:36-40).

I don’t know about you, but whenever I read this passage in the book of Acts, my heart always aches a bit. My heart hurts because genuine Christian friendships have always meant a great deal to me. And this story in Acts seems to be the one instance in the Bible in which there appears to be a tragic rift in a holy friendship: the broken fellowship between Paul and Barnabas. Even more, it seems all the more tragic since it involves two of the greatest pillars of the early Church. Perhaps one might even say that the Paul/Barnabas split is the first recorded “Great Church Split” in the history of the Christian Church—even before the Roman Catholic/Eastern Orthodox split, or the Roman Catholic/Protestant Reformation split.

Now perhaps from a missional point of view, such a parting ought not to be considered too tragic. After all, before the split the Holy Spirit had only one missionary team to carry out gospel evangelization (Paul-Barnabas). After this split, the Holy Spirit now found itself with two missionary teams to work with (Paul-Silas and Barnabas-Mark). That’s doubling the mission outreach for the Gospel, right?

In either case, my heart still pangs a bit just trying to imagine the broken friendship between Paul and Barnabas. Perhaps they got back together after all and went back to the good old days as friends. You know, like traveling together to hostile cities of the Roman empire and preaching the Gospel together side by side in solidarity before angry, rioting crowds who were constantly opposing their Gospel message. Ahhhh. The good ole’ days as Gospel buddies.

But who knows what really happened with their friendship? To my knowledge, the Scriptures are silent on whether Paul and Barnabas ended up reconciling and patching things up after this incident. I’d like to think that the great saints of the early Church set the example for the rest of us by ultimately healing their friendship in the end. After all, what a close friendship they had! For example, if we read through the Book of Acts, we find that it was Barnabas who chose to befriend Paul right after his dramatic conversion. In a way, Barnabas even became his shepherd and mentor during their early days in Antioch (Act 15:25-26). Barnabas even stood by his side and testified about his friend Paul’s true conversion, even when all other disciples wanted nothing to do with Paul, since he had been one of the fiercest persecutors of the Christian Church (Acts 9:26-27). I guess that’s why the early Christians called Barnabas “son of “encouragement” (Acts 4:36). As a friend, he truly encouraged Paul.

The interesting thing is that when Paul started to overshadow his great friend and mentor, we don’t see any evidence that Barnabas was the very least jealous or resentful of his former “sheep” who was now starting to outshine him. Soon Paul was becoming a powerful preacher and defender of the Gospel, out-arguing his critics in the synagogues. Paul was becoming a great apostle to the Gentiles, bringing in more and more people from all nations into the faith. Paul was starting to take on more visible leadership roles such that even Jerusalem Council recognized that God was truly at great work in Paul’s ministry. One scholar points out that at first, the author Luke refers to the team as “Barnabas and Paul,” with Barnabas in the lead. Later in the narrative, Luke switches the order so that it becomes “Paul and Barnabas,” probably because Paul was taking on more and more of the leading role. To me, this demonstrates the genuineness of the friendship that Paul and Barnabas had; neither of them seemed to mind who was seen as greater. Together they served the Gospel mission side by side as Christian friends.

Until, of course, they finally faced their first serious dispute over the matter of Mark — a disagreement serious enough to disrupt their friendship and lead them to part ways in Acts chapter 15.

I believe there are Barnabas-Paul type friendships in our own church community that may be experiencing tragic separations. Hearing about them from time to time saddens me. Some of these friendships may never be restored on this side of the eternity. Others might experience a taste of the Gospel through a healing the breach and beautiful reconciliation. Nevertheless, I retain the hope that, either way, the Holy Spirit is working even in the midst of these broken friendships in ways that will bring something beautiful out of what has been damaged. (doubling the Gospel outreach efforts of the Church, for instance?) And in a way, it is sort of encouraging to know that even the holy saints like Paul and Barnabas went through phases in their friendships that were, frankly, not so pretty.

So as I begin a series of reflections on Christian friendship, I want to start out by acknowledging all the various Christian friends I’ve had the privilege of developing over the years, many of whom reside within my own particular church community, but many of whom also reside outside my church community. Some even come from different Christian traditions altogether, and theologically we often do not see eye-to-eye. Nevertheless, each of these friends at critical moments have helped me at various stages of my Christian journey. My life has been deeply enriched through hese friendships. I am who I am because of them. I dare say that I’ve come to know Christ better, understand the Gospel better, and love God better, all because of these diverse Christian friendships. If we ever see some sort of true unity in the Church, I’m sure it will be because of these sorts of blossoming Christian friendships all throughout the Body of Christ.

I would love to hear stories of how your friendship with a Christian who is “different” from you — perhaps someone outside your immediate church community, denomination or theological tradition — has powerfully encouraged you in your walk in Christ. We all need Barnabases, people of encouragement who come along aside us at key moments in our spiritual development. I hope to hear your story too.

My next post: Thoughts on Christian Friendship, Part 2: “What? You don’t do one-to-one Bible study?”

(Please note: based on my UBFriends writing track-record, Part 2 may be finished in about a year or so.)