“The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!”

The Christian Church is the body of Christ. All those who receive Jesus as Savior and Lord, by faith, are parts of the body of Christ. The body has many parts. Hands and feet work together. A nose and an eye are both essential. Each part compliments each other and steps in the gap when another part is weak. We like to think of each part of the body as individual Christians, but also, on the macro level, each ministry and missional entity, has essential functions within the body to bring glory to Jesus.  We must respect each part, and even nurture relationships with them, for they are part of the body of Christ utilizing their various gifts to build up the church.

In the development of a mission, there are not just missionaries. There are other missional entities, which work together in unison, to allow the body of Christ to thrive. God desires for all of them to work together. The important thing is to recognize these parts of the body and nurture working relationship with them as we live as servants of Christ. Anything less is neglecting part of the body of Christ and hindering the work of the missionary.

Part 1: Introduction

I propose that the most fruitful path to embark on, as missionaries, is nurturing solid relationships with six missional entities, all of which are part of the body of Christ.

1. Relationships with… a sending church
2. Relationships with… a mission agency
3. Relationships with… a receiving church
4. Relationships with… a missionary team
5. Relationships with… a “person of peace”
6. Relationships with… the family

This paper will define the six areas of relationship building. Our own family experience as a house church will be reflected upon.  The things learned from the current mission to the Canada will added. There will also be some advice on how to nurture the relationships in the six areas.

The first part dealt with the necessity of nurturing relationships with a sending church and a mission agency. This second part will deal with relationship with a receiving church and a missionary team. The third part will expound on the relationships with a person of peace and the family. The point of all this is to share about some ways that missionaries can be strengthened as they follow Jesus. Let’s see.

Part 2: Nurturing Relationships With A Receiving Church.

Missionaries need to nurture relationships with a receiving church. A receiving church is a church that partners in ministry. If you consider the invisible divide that separates the missionaries, from the culture it seeks to serve, then the receiving church is on the other side of that divide, dwelling in the region the missionary is praying to minister. They are poised to receive the missionaries as they land in the field. That is why I call them, the “receiving church”.

I would include spiritual mentors and advisors as part of the receiving church. They are like-minded with similar vision for mission. They may not even be the same denomination as the sending church. They may not even have a relationship with the mission agency. The prime quality is that they are established within the foreign culture, or subculture, and can lend a helping hand to the missionary.

A receiving church is a separate missional entity that God has brought into the lives of the missionaries. They provide local resources. They provided easily accessible counseling, mentoring, logistic expertise, practical and material support, housing, transportation, friendship, timely feedback, and advice, to name a few. They become the new home church for the missionaries. They are the not the final landing place, but a launching pad to more remote locales. The missionaries become members and serve in the church, but set their eyes on other more “remote” regions.

A receiving church provides a source of support for the family. Let’s face it… we are human. There will be family strife. How hard it is to deal with that all alone! How wonderful it is to have the wisdom and support of a local receiving church! There can be marriage counseling and parenting counseling. The kids can find support in the youth group and youth counselors. There are families who have gone on before. These are only things that a receiving church could provide. We sure would have benefited from the support of receiving church rather than just silently bearing the relational struggles by ourselves as we carried on with our mission. A lot of issues could have been solved if I had nurtured a relationship with a receiving church within the community I lived in, right from the beginning.  (More on family in part 3.)

Sometimes a sending church tries to act like a receiving church. I would not advise this. There is no way that they can fulfill the functions of the receiving church, for the receiving church must be local, easily accessible and nestled in the culture.

In order to respect the work of the receiving church, the sending church must relinquish some control of the “their” missionaries and allow them to participate in the life of the receiving church. This requires faith and trust in God.

I feel that our sending church was trying to fulfill the functions of both a sending church and a receiving church at the same time, ignoring the need for a local receiving church. There are draw backs to this. Our sending church was one hour drive away.  In order for us to go for a simple visit, required 2 1/2 hours of driving and 2 or 3 hours of visiting time.  This meant a simple visit required five hours and $30 in gas and tolls. Visits were infrequent. It was not easy with a family where both parents worked and five young kids needed our attention. There was also, almost “no feed back” in our attempts at ministry.  Maybe I wasn’t ready to accept feedback. Maybe they did this out of respect for me and my choices, but having no feedback made me feel like I was operating in a vacuum. I would have liked more “real time” feed back, more availability for quick visits with other Christians and more advice on fruitful alternatives to mission, born out of casual conversation with members of a local receiving church.

Entering into a relationship with a receiving church is an act of God. Three years ago, while trying to embrace the mission to Canada, we were led to a receiving church after making many “cold calls” and interviewing people over the phone. One person directed me to another. God worked through this and by his sovereignty, led us to a particular congregation. Several visits were made and it became clear that our churches needed to enter into partnership so as to unleash the missionaries.

I completely ignored a relationship with a receiving church. In starting a campus house church (in1998), we lacked any type of relationship with a receiving church. We never thought we needed one. In our pride we launched into this campus mission, ignoring Christians around us. Our town is full of sincere Christians and churches that might have partnered with us. Our campus even had fourteen Christian groups that we might have formed friendships with if we thought it a priority. After moving to our small town, the intensity of our lives kept us from forming meaningful relationships in mission, with other Christians for fourteen years. We made excuses for not building relationships with other churches, because we were too busy serving our own mission according to our “special” calling.  This paradigm of mission kept us isolated from the rest of Christendom and operating without local mentors, supporters and guides.

Without a receiving church I lacked having Christians my own age to hang out with as friends. I was always surrounded by people who were my Bible students. There was always a mission related agenda defining my relationships. I was always evaluating people. Did they have a potential to grow as a disciple or was serving them a waste of my time? I did not have a local spiritual mentor in the same community to “bounce things off of”. I lacked a sense of community with other Christians near me.

With no receiving church, I made unreal demands on my own family members in order to keep the basics of church. We needed singers, prayer representatives, speakers and me, the messenger. There was no one else to do it and so my family needed to. The kids were forced into ministry, even when they did not believe in Jesus and even when they had no personal calling. The mission had to go on. With no receiving church, there was no outlet.

With no receiving church there was no source of “insider wisdom.” Each community is a unique culture. There are things to learn. There is wisdom to help a missionary to navigate the community. Why was I so proud to think that I could function in campus ministry without the wisdom of a receiving church near the campus and without local mentors to help show the way?

Without the receiving church there is no accountability.  If a person does not have a relationship with someone, on a day-to-day basis, it is hard to know and understand what a person is going through. I had slight accountability with my sending church 60 miles away, but as long as I produced positive reports about the mission and was keeping the Sunday worship service, all seemed well.  Nobody knew my need for spiritual mentors. I didn’t even know my need. Nobody knew the extent of my inner struggles.

At the end of my fourteen year stint as a single family house church, I reached out to a local pastor. I attended some his services by myself. I received his counsel. It was actually quite relieving. Healing was on the horizon. I would have avoided a whole lot of heartache if I had nurtured a relationship with a receiving church, right from the beginning of our mission.

Now that I am a member of a local community church (since 2012), how nice it is to stop by Starbucks and see one or two people whom I go to church with. How great it is to attend a home group meeting, where you are not forcing our immediate family members to make things happen. How refreshing it is to just enjoy sweet fellowship with a body of believers with no mission agenda. How nice it is to have some solid marriage and family support in a church that emphasizes family over mission. How good it is to have Christian peers and mentors nearby and not just Bible students.

Any missionary who tries to engage in cross cultural ministry without nurturing a strong relationship with a receiving church will suffer. Having no receiving church does not lend itself to a joyful life of faith, integration into the culture, nor longevity on the mission field. It will be a friendless, lonely mission. It will benefit a missionary greatly to come alongside a receiving church and nurture that relationship. All we have to do is open our eyes to see the receiving church God has prepared right before our eyes.  You might be surprised on who it is. Be ready to come alongside, even they are not like yourself.

Part 3:  Nurturing Relationships With A Missionary Team.

Missionaries, in a cross cultural setting, must have a close relationship with the missionary team. The mission agency, for the Canada mission, really emphasizes the importance of teamwork. They will not encourage missionaries to go out without forming a close team.

Without a team, what is left is a single family serving as missionaries. As I have mentioned before, in such a case, the family members become the pillar leaders of anything that goes on.

There is unrelenting pressure for the husband to always have the Sunday message prepared.

There is pressure for the kids to always have praise and worship music prepared (even when they do not believe in Jesus).

There is pressure for the wife to do everything else.

It may take years, if ever, to have a non-family member take ownership of the ministry. The family must always uphold ministry activities, without fail. Some parts of ministry should not have been formed in the first place because of the lack of team members. Without team members there are no one to share the load.

But with a team there is support. There is feedback. There is sharing of the load. Other team members can stand in the gap. They can encourage one another in times of weakness. There can be elders, differing approaches, checks and balances. What about being able to go on furlough? Who will take over when you are gone? It must be the other members of the team that you have nurtured relationships with. It is a great relief to be part of a missionary team.

In a missionary team there is oneness and respect. Some churches may be tempted to embed a senior missionary in with other junior missionaries. They may have a godly motive to infuse some spiritual maturity in the team.  But they may also have an impure motive to make sure the church’s agenda is fulfilled. This is paternalistic. It does not trust the leading of the Holy Spirit. It does not respect the team members. In the team there is respect and shared authority, admiration and opportunities for all members to contribute. There is trust in God. With a missionary team there could be consensus building and unity.

We suffered greatly because we took hold of our mission without being part of a team. Our family members were the team. There was no one to pinch hit for me in leading group Bible study and delivering the Sunday message. It was always me and it was stressful. The kids were under pressure to always contribute with a smile on their face. Sunday became a chore instead a time of joyful worship before the Lord. Things would be very different with a team.

Without a team, the nature of the ministry was authoritarian. I was the head of the household. I was the one making sure that our “well oiled” machine kept running every week. I was authoritarian. I was the enforcer, and I did it for over 14 years. There were no checks and balances to see if I was straying as a leader. My wife was forced to play that role. A missionary who does not have a strong relationship with a missionary team will end up making unreal demands on each member of their family to keep their mission alive.

A missionary can nurture a relationship with the missionary team, by keeping in communication. They do not operate on their own. They work in conjunction with the team. They submit to God’s leading as revealed through the team. There is oneness. There is openness and honesty and commitment. There is communista (bonding from shared experiences).

Longevity, joy, fruitfulness on the mission field can be achieved by nurturing a strong relationship with a missionary team.

Part 4: Conclusion.

God never meant for us to function with no other relationships with the local body of believers around us. Elijah felt all alone. He was so distressed that he was hoping to die. But God told him, in the depth of his despair, “Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him” (1 Ki 19:18; NIV). Elijah was not alone. There were others in the spiritual battle. God wants us to partner with others. In Phil 1:5-8 Paul writes, “I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” He considered others as partnering with him for the sake of the Gospel. This partnering involves individuals but Christians in other missional entities, like a receiving church and a missionary team.

We may be tempted to ignore relationships with other parts of the body of Christ as we barrel forward with our mission. It seems easier, at first to ignore a need for a receiving church or other team members. But, by failing to nurture these relationships, missionaries suffer. Their mission can only go so far. When I tried to do it, for fourteen years, I was left severely depressed and despaired. I was lonely and without local peers, local Christian friends and local mentors. I forced my family to serve the functions that a receiving church and a team was meant to fulfill.

Some may have thought I should have suffered for several years longer, keeping business as usual, and thinking blessing was just over the next mountain. But I don’t think so. Never again will I ignore these important relationships in mission, rather I will promote their need and seek to nurture them.

Part three of this three part series will discuss nurturing relationships with a “person of peace’” and the family.

So in August ubfriends started a book club. The book was A Fellowship of Differents by Scot Mcknight. I thoroughly enjoyed the book, good choice Joe! There is so much to write about from it, but I would like to share only my favorite part of the whole book here. On page 139 it says, “If some said, you must be kosher to eat with us, Jesus said, eat with me and I will make you kosher.” There, that’s it. This is my favorite line in the whole book.

The Third Way

In this chapter McKnight is talking about loving  members of the LGBTQA community in the church. Traditionally, there are two approaches towards the LGBTQA community: affirming or non-affirming but here McKnight offers a third way. He asks the reader,

“What can we learn of the cruciform life in fellowship with those who experience and suffer from same-sex attraction? Our posture cannot be one of pity; it must be one of mutual fellowship in the cross and resurrection of Christ, the kind of fellowship where we minister to one another (pg. 139).”

This is an approach of mutual fellowship, communion. Communion is about coming together around the same table and doing life together no matter what your sexual orientation is. Christ brings us together. Christ breaks down all barriers.

Two Principles of the Third Way

The author continues to describe the third way. He states its main pillars.  First it is the progressive nature of our own growth in redemption. And second, it is the importance of the local church as the context for that growth.

Life is a journey and so are our lives of faith. It never stops. We are always growing and so we must be committed to each other’s growth in redemption. Galatians 6:2 says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Sometimes people don’t want you to carry their burdens. Sometimes people never say thank you or appreciate you for carrying their burdens. My point is carrying a burden is never easy. Burdens are heavy, but this is what we are called to do. According to Galatians it is the law of Christ.

And secondly, the local church is vital. This point is not exclusive from the first because it is in the local church we see the progressive nature of our growth. The church is meant to be a fellowship of differents. McKnight calls the church, “God’s grand social experiment.” This safe environment of acceptance and love is where growth can happen. Growth comes from fellowship.

Christ’s Example

If you haven’t read the book this is the thesis right here. The author’s point is that the church is a fellowship of differents (hence the title). This means we look different, talk different, vote different, work different, smell different, etc., but we are still in communion with each other. Christ makes us one. Christ never imposes the stipulation that we must act, think, speak, like him before he accepts us. Christ accepts us as we are. He invites the non-kosher Gentiles to the table and through fellowship with him, the Gentiles become transformed. This is the only way towards growth/healing/transformation- communion with Christ and each other. It’s so beautiful; this is grace. May the church be a room of grace.

Do you agree or disagree? How has your experience in the church been? Have you seen the room of grace lived out in a community? Do you see fellowships of differents around you? Did you read the book? What was your reaction?

Additional Resources:

Brene Brown on Empathy

This clip depicts fellowship that brings about healing.

“But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. ¹⁹ If all were a single member, where would the body be? ²⁰ As it is, there are many parts,yet one body.” (ESV)

The Christian Church is the body of Christ. All those who receive Jesus as Savior and Lord, by faith, are parts of the body of Christ. There is only one true, invisible Church of Jesus Christ. The body has many parts. Each person, even each organization, in the body has something essential to do to build up the whole church. Each works in unison to bring glory to Christ. And so it is with the development of missions. There are not just missionaries. There are other missional entities, which work together in unison to allow the Great Commission to move forward. God desires for all of them to work together. The important thing is to recognize these parts of the body and nurture working relationship with them.

Part 1: Introduction

There are multiple approaches on how people attempt to live as cross cultural missionaries. Each approach has its pros and cons. Some approaches lead to lasting, godly fruit, overflowing joy and no regrets. Other approaches lead to emptiness, depression and nagging feelings of “it might have been”, with a myriad of variations in between. I propose that the most fruitful path to embark on, as missionaries, is nurturing solid relationships with six missional entities. Working toward anything less will hinder a mission’s progress. The six areas of relationships are as follows:

1. Relationships with… a sending church
2. Relationships with… a mission agency
3. Relationships with… a receiving church
4. Relationships with… a missionary team
5. Relationships with… a “person of peace”
6. Relationships with… the family

These six areas were not derived from a text book. They were experienced by my involvement as a house church leader in a campus mission organization (1998-2012) and as a church liaison and networker for my current church’s mission to the First Nation people in northern Canada. Some of the terms originate from terminology learned from those involved in “To Every Tribe” Mission agency. I was first inspired by the different components of missions after attending an “Ekballo” Missions Conference, sponsored by “To Every Tribe” at Northern Illinois University in 2013.

God has been revealing so many wonderful things, in regards to mission, over the last three years and I seek to share that with others. Especially to single missionaries and single families serving as missionaries. This paper will discuss the six areas of relationship building. They will be defined. Our own family experience as a house church will be reflected upon. The things learned from the current mission to the Canada will added. There will also be some advice on how to nurture the relationships in the six areas.

This paper is lengthy. I will present it in three parts, so as to be more readily digestible. The first part will deal with a sending church and a mission agency. The second will deal with relationship with a receiving church and a missionary team. The third will expound on the relationships with a person of peace and the family. The point of all this is not to point fingers. It is to share about some ways that missionaries can be strengthened as they follow Jesus. It will reveal options. It will open doors to paradigm shifts in some peoples’ approaches to missions. I was blessed through this and so why not others? Let’s see.

Part 2: Background

I feel I have a tiny bit of experience attempting in to live as a missionary. Though I never left the country, I headed up a single family house church for fourteen years in the context of campus mission. After you stop laughing at that statement, think about the campus as a sub culture within our society. Many of the students are internationals. The students are a mosaic of social tribes. We operated as “stand alone” single family house church with no affiliation with any other local church. Our affiliations were with a international missionary organization that had other campus ministries in the Chicago-land area. Julie and I were no longer students. We were workers, pushing forty. We were not single students, but parents trying to raise five kids without a local church body or extended family. We were growing increasingly out of touch with students, whose culture changes once every three years. In that sense we were engaged in a cross cultural mission, within a subculture in our society. The demands upon us were not as vigorous as the demands on missionaries who are actually living outside their country, but there are some similarities that I could glean experience from and share with you.

In our fourteen years of engaging in a single family, house church ministry, I can say that we ignored several areas of mission support. We had a sending church (a one hour drive away). We had a sending church trying to be a mission agency and a receiving church at the same time. We did not have a missionary team, for we were a single family. We did not have a “person of peace” inviting us into the campus community. We also ignored nurturing relationships within our own family. We basically ignored several relationships, thinking that all we had to do was staff a small, single family house church, by faith, and God would bless it and fill it with eager, growing disciples.

It was like building a baseball diamond, placing my family as players and attempting play a baseball game, week after week, thinking people would eventually join us, filling the pews, forming teams and a league, like the dream of Kevin Costner in the 1989 movie “Field of Dreams”: If you build it, they will come…NOT!!!!!!

Over the fourteen years, we were blessed in so many ways, but at the same time there grew a bitter legacy of depression, fatalism, and despair in my heart. Much of it was attributed to the fact that we ignored several areas of relationship building in the mission field. That being said, I want to reflect on the deleterious affects that occurred by ignoring certain relationships in the overall mission and the positive affects of engaging in nurturing the relationships. This first section will deal with nurturing relationships with a sending church and a mission agency.

Part 3: Nurturing Relationships With A Sending Church.

Developing a good relationship with a sending church is essential for the success of any missionary endeavor. A sending church is a congregation who answered the call of God to send missionaries to preach the gospel and raise disciples in another community. They try their best, to support the missionaries. A sending church may be located in the same city, or it could be on the other side of the planet. They could be sending missionaries to the same culture or into a cross cultural setting. I would include financial donors and missionary support groups as part of the sending church.

From our experience as a house church, I would advise any missionary family to stay near their sending church until a very close working relationship forms. Our sending church was a one hour drive away. We had a good relationship with them. I was living among church members for eight years prior to starting a house church. We were part of the greater organization since 1986. Relationships with the sending congregation were strong. Even after starting a house church in 1998, we traveled three times a week for three more years, before becoming an independent house church. They offered regular Bible study, 24/7 open channels of communication and ministry resources on request. They would send helpers to ministry projects, send representatives to Gospel outreach events, and include us in the leadership of twice-yearly Bible conferences and Bible schools. They supplied items at the formation of our house church, like chairs and hymn books, etc. They provided continuing education. They provided kids’ ministry. They prayed for us and still do. We had the backing and practical support of the entire congregation. They tried their best to be a sending church and we benefitted greatly. After ending the house church three years ago, I can say that I am free to call, visit and to receive any type of mission resource.

Missionaries should not just join a congregation in an attempt to make them into their sending church. The relationships have to be there. To simply starting attending a church, without building the long term relationships, is like dipping your fishing pole into an “over fished” fishing pond. There must be relationships. The congregation and the missionaries must be like family. This takes years of drawing near and serving the Lord together. For us, it was eleven years.

The missionaries I am serving with now have spent several years, building relationships with their sending churches. They are participating in ministry. They teach Sunday school, lead the youth group, go on mission trips, and preach occasionally. They serve the Lord, within their sending churches. The sending church needs to feel that the missionaries are part of their church family. It must be the goal of every missionary appointee to nurture that relationship.

Part 4: Nurturing Relationships With A Mission Agency.

A mission agency is an organization that includes people from different denominations. It is headed up by seasoned missionary veterans. They provide missionary training and education from a particular Christian theological perspective. They provide short term mission experiences. They provide ongoing missionary education and support on the mission field. They help in fundraising and managing the missionary’s income sources. They promote the missionary endeavors and also engage in recruitment. They nurture relationships with the sending church. They seek to strengthen the missionary team. They keep missionaries and supporters informed about the mission. There is a myriad of things that a mission’s agency does.

The following are statements taken from the “To Every Tribe” Missions Agency that describe what they do. (http://www.toeverytribe.org/ ) They are a mission agency that adheres to reformed theology. From these excerpts one can get a sense of the role of a mission agency.

Mission

To Every Tribe’s Center for Pioneer Church Planting (CPCP) endeavors to train and mentor cross-cultural missionaries for the remaining unreached regions where there is still no grace, no gospel, and no name for Jesus Christ.

To Every Tribe exists to extend the worship of Christ among all peoples by mobilizing the church, training disciplemakers, and sending missionary teams to plant churches among the unreached.

Church Planting

We seek to train obedience-oriented disciples who make other disciples in planting indigenous churches that are self-led, self-supporting, self-theologizing, and self-reproducing.

Pre-Field Training

We invest in extensive theological and missiological pre-field training of missionaries to equip them to thrive on the field and to enhance their ability to plant healthy churches.

Team Ministry

We are committed to ministry through communities of believers where individual gifts work together for the good and effectiveness of the whole, and model the body of Christ to unbelievers.

Distinctives

The 60/40 blend of in-class and on-the-job training exercises makes the CPCP unique in its missionary training philosophy. The CPCP is distinctive in its combined commitment to:

BIBLICAL THEOLOGY We are committed to a reformed, baptistic understanding of Scripture.

UNREACHED PEOPLES Our training is specifically designed for those wanting to be prepared for pioneer evangelism and church planting in remote regions of Mexico and Papua New Guinea.

TEAM MINISTRY Pioneer church planting is physically, emotionally, and spiritually demanding. It is most effectively carried out by a healthy team approach to ministry. A significant part of the CPCP training is to equip missionaries to be a part of successful church planting teams.

ON-THE-JOB TRAINING We provide experience. It is our belief that church planters cannot be adequately trained in a traditional classroom alone. We intentionally create practical cross-cultural training situations in both Mexico and Papua New Guinea.

PERSONAL MENTORING The CPCP is not interested in merely informing your mind, but transforming your character and abilities into experiential, cross-cultural know-how.

MAKING DISCIPLES Pioneer church planting begins with making disciples. CPCP interns will develop strategies to bring the gospel to communities in the Rio Grande Valley with the goal of establishing new believers in the faith and equipping them to make new disciples.

The Center for Pioneer Church Planting (CPCP) provides a unique missionary training experience. Missionary Trainees receive classroom teaching led by biblical and missiological experts from across the country.

Combined with on-the-field experience, these courses equip our trainees with the knowledge and experience required for long-term, cross-cultural church planting success.

Link to the courses they offer people in the two year experience.

http://www.toeverytribe.org/cpcp/missionary-training-courses/

Link to recruitment

http://www.toeverytribe.org/missionary-sending-agency/missionary-opportunities/

In our house church experience, we lacked the presence of a mission agency. I would say that our sending church, and affiliated churches, attempted to act as a mission agency also. They tried their best to provide mission specific education at staff meetings, Bible studies, theological education, special lectures, mission relevant speakers at conferences. They tried to facilitate people to visit other nations, by attending international Bible conferences and arranging short term mission events. People were informed of our mission. They prayed for us. There was no need for fundraising or money management for we were a self supporting. They were trying their best to function as a mission agency without actually being a formal mission agency. But was this the best paradigm and did they succeed in functioning as a mission agency at all?

By a federation of sending churches, trying to act as a mission agency at the same time, it failed to fulfill the function of a mission agency all together. We lacked the support, the recruitment, and the education. Only leaders, who have been serving in the ministry over 10 years, and demonstrated commitment, received occasional campus-relevant education. There attempts to support were thread bare. To receive some of these benefits required years of sacrifice, such as driving long distances, attending staff conferences in far away cities, and spending long hours away from home, when there was work, ministry and young kids to raise. Recruitment was non existent if you weren’t serving on a top 20 American campus. American leaders, converts, who were laboring on various campus’, were not considered good prospects to join with. Their campus’ were undesirable to be part of. At our campus, we actually lost hope of ever having long term missionaries joining the mission, even though we were the fruit of “decades long” prayers.

The sending church, even a federation of sending churches, should be separate from the mission agency. Being a mission agency takes a full time effort in order to be effective. Even “To Every Tribe” does not try to do everything and seeks to partner with sending churches and missionary teams, knowing that it takes such relationships to fulfill the mission.

There needs to be a separation, as a way to have checks and balances. The early church had six main centers. They were all considered equals. A church has an elder board that is separate from the pastor. Can you image our government, if the senate, congress, judiciary and the presidential office were not separate entities? They are separate but they all work together. It is the wisdom of God to keep everything separate and yet working together as one. When the mission agency is separate they can dedicate themselves to what they do best. In this way, the missionaries don’t feel that their education and support is threadbare, but comprehensive.

A missionary can nurture relationships with a mission agency, by submitting to its leadership. They can comply with instructions and the mandate of the agency, while at the same time working together the other missional bodies. They can keep in communication with the agency. They can make regular visits to the agency to share their experiences with new students.

In conclusion, I can say that our family had a good relationship with our sending church, but we tried to function without a mission agency. I propose that a missionary needs to build strong, family-like relationships with their sending church. This needs to be nurtured, because success on the field is related to the support the missionary receives back home. The missionary needs to also build relationships with a mission agency. It is a separate organization, dedicated to building up the missionary and their family. It should be separate so that the support the missionary receives is not threadbare and exclusive but comprehensive and inclusive to all involved in the mission, not just leaders exhibiting total dedication for over a decade. Next paper will deal with relationship with a receiving church and a missionary team.

We Christians are firmly convinced that we should choose between:

• God and sin,
• God and money,
• right and wrong,
• good and bad,
• heaven and hell,
• monogamy and polygamy…and rightly so.

Two categories. This can be regarded as dualistic thinking. It is to see everything in two categories and two categories only. It promotes elitism, exclusivity and exclusionary thinking, which invariably denigrates, disparages and denounces those who are not on “your side.”

Jesus words are harsh and direct “You hypocrites!” The second point here is that Jesus realizes the stakes are high and reserves no harsh words, and compromises nothing when dealing with this fall teaching. The disciples even question this asking “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?” But Jesus’ response is twofold: first, that judgment will come (verse 13) and since it will come we cannot afford to have the blind leading the long. Jesus often rebukes his disciples, but he reserves his harshest critics for teachers, because they spread teachings and therefore represent true danger. The early church would often put down groups, not because they hated them- but because they wagered that it was better to have a group eradicated than to have the gospel messaged changed and distorted amongst the body of Christ. Although their methods were at times harsh, their aim was the same as Jesus’ in this passage. Right beliefs preclude right action, on the other hand wrong beliefs preclude wrong action. Jesus concludes by teaching both the Pharisees and the disciples the right belief, that our heart is what determines our holiness. He concludes that the ritual does nothing to determine a person’s faith. Righteousness comes by faith, and adherence to any tradition in and of itself is meaningless (Gal 2:21). I have heard people in UBF go so far as to out rightly claim that a person’s spiritual maturity is based on adherence to their traditions. It is fanaticism in its truest. It’s wrong through and through.

A specific tradition may be invaluable to a particular person at a particular time, but it takes a special type of evil to unilaterally decide that that’s the way it ought to be for all. When I think of myself I have to be very careful myself not to fall into this trap. It is easy enough for a person to fall into, but I find the danger only grows with time. Perhaps there is a certain maturity I have yet to reach where I take all of this with the right amount of levity, but I find that I have the same tendency to asset my religiousness over others. The gospels seem clear to me that this is a problem to be fixed, not a feature to be upheld and enshrined.

Forestsfailyou

Done with the church. Sociologists list the reasons why some highly committed church members are deciding that they are done with church.

* They wanted community…..and got judgment.

* They wanted to affect the life of the church…..and got bureaucracy.

* They wanted conversation…..and got doctrine.

* They wanted meaningful engagement with the world…..and got moral prescription.

– See more at: comment-19077.

Done with UBF. This 4-point list does describe the experience that some of us have had with American evangelicalism. But it doesn’t explain why so many highly committed people decided that they were done with UBF. That list is more like this.

* They wanted to understand the gospel ….. and were told to go and preach the gospel.

* They wanted to understand why their relationships were so bad and getting worse ..… and were told to go back to the Bible.

* They wanted to understand why the atmosphere felt so dead ..… and were told to invite more people to double the ministry.

* They wanted to actually think about the meaning Scripture ..… and were told to put aside their own ideas and just believe.

* They wanted leaders to just be honest and admit that lots of abusive things have happened and do happen in UBF….. and were met with silence.

* They wanted friends ..… and got coworkers.

* They wanted to stop the insanity of doing the same thing over again at every conference year after year ..… and the result was more of the same.

* They brought serious problems to the attention of leaders in a gentle and respectful manner… and were told “your tone is not right” and “you have overstepped your authority.”

– See more at: comment-19078.

What are your thoughts about why so many bright and promising people are done with UBF ….. even after decades of committed involvement?

Going back to Seminary produces mixed feelings in me. Seminary has been so crucial to my spiritual growth this past year, but the school that I study at is also very conservative. I have to look a certain way (even in the gym there is a dress code), think a certain way (premillennial dispensational), and hold certain political/social views (usually conservative republican). Basically I have to toe the party line and keep the status quo. This is not a necessarily bad thing, it’s a part of being in a community. In the church the “we” is bigger than the “me.” This means that I have to be extra careful in the way I dress, speak, write, blog, etc. Often I have to remain silent on topics that mean so much to me. I have to be careful with the discussions I have with my classmates, I don’t want to pick fights. My prayer is to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. (Please do not misunderstand, I love my school, but I don’t agree with everything. In this post, my goal is not cynicism, but authenticity).

Recently I was talking to a friend who four years ago had been accepted to my school. She was given a free ride and also the option of living off of campus (something that usually never happens,) but she refused. As we were talking, the reason why she refused unraveled. As I shared my love for my school, community and professors, my words resonated with her when I began to talk about the rigidity. It was because of the school’s rigidity, ultimately, that she decided not to study there (I think at that time dancing and any alcohol whatsoever was prohibited, even for professors. I’m not sure if it’s still prohibited).

After that conversation I was riding my bike contemplating our words and Gandhi’s idea of “loving Christ, but not Christians.” And I realized that Christians can come across as nitpicky and ultra-sensitive. Their love can be perceived as conditional because it is only given if you dress, think, vote or write like them. I think this might be one of the reasons why Gandhi felt the way he did toward Christians. (Actually when he was in South Africa he did meet Christians, but he was turned off by their exclusivity. Gandhi was greatly influenced by Christ and he lived out Christ’s words through nonviolence, but he did not like Christians, pretty ironic).

And yet just because a majority of Christians are judgmental, does not mean all Christians are. For example, if Bob judges Jane for the way she dresses and Bob is a Christian, does that mean that all Christians will judge women based on dress code? (Hopefully not).  The problem, however, isn’t Christ, but Bob; the problem isn’t the message, but the messenger. People see Christians and think Christianity is hogwash that creates judgmental bigots and two-faced hypocrites. But that is not true, Jesus Christ embraced all types of people and he sternly rebuked hypocrisy. He taught us to love our enemies, that leaders must serve and that forgiveness is crucial. If people knew the beauty of Christ, it would rock their world. Jesus is the embodiment of both grace and truth and God is love.

The problem is not Christ, the problem is me, the person, the interpreter, the communicator. We often have screwed up pictures of the Bible, gospel, God and the church. Then we impose our personal interpretations on those around us. This causes excruciating pain and broken relationships, which fly in the face of the greatest commandment Jesus gave us in Matthew 22:36-40,

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Do Gandhi’s words resonate with you? Have you been hurt by Christians? What has your experience with Christians been like?

Do you belong to a proud or a humble church?

Fill in the blanks. I think most of them are rather self-evident. The answers are likely a lot easier than putting them into practice. (Sorry, I don’t know how to make a table, but the table and the answer key can be seen here.)

The Proud Person / Church Vs.The Humble Person / Church

Seeing ourselves as better and others as worse. Perhaps dichotomy is sometimes not often very helpful or practical. We also incline to seeing ourselves (and our churches) in a better or more positive light, and conversely incline to seeing others (and other churches) in a worse or more negative light. (I know that I did this for decades!) Nonetheless, I think this table of contrast is helpful.

What do you think? Are UBF people and UBF churches humble?

An article appeared a few days ago in Relevant Magazine, titled What Not To Say To Someone Who Has Been Hurt By Church. The article is short, and I encourage everyone to read it. According to this article, the six things that should not be said are:

1. “No church is perfect.”
2. “Are you working toward reconciliation?”
3. “I don’t want to gossip.”
4. “What are non-believers going to think?”
5. “Stop being so bitter.”
6. “Is this worth dividing the church over?”

The author of this article has no apparent connection to UBF. He has no discernible anti-UBF bias. And he succinctly writes exactly what many of us have been trying to say to UBF leaders and members over and over.

Putting aside all discussion of UBF: Is this author correct?

They share the gospel through worship

The first thing that comes to my mind about Westloop UBF is the worship. I have had the privilege to worship with them three times in the last several years. Each time I felt the love of Christ and heard the gospel through the unspoken chords of music they played. I’m not talking about the style of music or the words of music exactly. It was that the Holy Spirit in me rejoiced to meet up with the Holy Spirit in them.

They accept me

This might be the most profoundly Christ-like aspect of Westloop UBF. Or it might be to some the most Satanic aspect. But they accept me for who I am. They made no attempts to change me. They let me speak without a script. They asked me questions to understand me. They wanted to know more about my books. I will never forget my discussions and prayer with Henry. He is truly an ambassador of Christ.

They disagree with me

The thing I love most about Ben is that he is not afraid to disagree with me. We don’t tip-toe around but share why we disagree. While there is much we agree on, there is much we don’t agree on. And believe it or not, I have changed based on some of Ben’s feedback. For example, early on I was brutally criticizing ubf. Ben told me I am like a spotlight. He suggested becoming a laser light with pinpoint accuracy might be more effective than just blasting ubf with spotlights. I have learned endlessly from Ben’s Facebook posts as well!

They live in the gap

There is a famous verse in the bible about standing in the gap. No one exemplifies this more in my life than Ben and Rhoel and Westloop UBF. I don’t now how they do it exactly but somehow they live in the tension between ubf and exubf. They have redeemed the name “UBF” and yet still remain part of the organization. I am not strong enough to do such a thing, so I respect them highly. Maybe you just have to be a Looper to understand this!

They appointed me

Here is a little-known fact that many Loopers may not even know (or like). After I resigned from being Director of Detroit UBF, Ben made my wife and I honorary elders at Westloop UBF. I accepted. So wrap your mind around this: I really never left ubf.

So thank you Westloop Church! You have shown me the love of Christ and I thank you for this. I love you Loopers!

This sermon was delivered on April 26th, 2015 at West Loop UBF.

Introduction

A bit of disclosure is in order here: Since September of last year, I haven’t been attending church on a weekly basis. I’ve attended Catholic Mass a few times and have taken communion and have also had ongoing conversations about the Bible and life with others and have done my own personal study on biblical topics, but nothing like being plugged into a faith community on a regular basis. To some this may be disconcerting or off-putting, like who takes a half a year off of church and then preaches a sermon? But I thank Rhoel for reaching out to me and befriending and simply talking to me on a human-to-human level. One thing that I really appreciate about the West Loop community is you all’s desire to understand and practice the gospel in a loving manner. So I thank you all for accepting me and giving me the privilege to speak here today. I don’t take this lightly and I don’t want to waste your time, but instead I want to hopefully communicate an important point about the gospel that I think we, including myself, often miss. I’ll attempt to make my point in thirty minutes or less and end with a nice cherry on top which is an example from my own life.

What Does it Mean to be “Spiritual” Anyway?

I mentioned how I’ve been taking some time away from organized religion. I felt as though I needed to do this because I was growing increasingly weary of experiencing this disconnect, that I observed, which exists between the concepts of spirituality or “otherness”, that is something beyond our physical world, and the very material reality that we live in today. To put it bluntly (and with an example to follow), I got tired of sitting in church week after week and hearing things that sounded lofty and spiritual, but were not portable to my everyday life. And believe you me; this was not the fault of the church per se, because if anyone knows me, I love lofty ideas. This is more of an internal battle or beef within me.

At some point last year, the big question that I asked myself was what impact does spirituality have on us on a daily basis, that is, how does this line up with our present-day, physical reality in an impactful way? The form of Christianity that I was largely familiar with was one in which that aforementioned disconnect reached a tipping point on some key issues for me. For instance, in Western Evangelicalism, we are often taught as of first importance, that Jesus has forgiven us of our sins once and for all. Now, I don’t dispute this at all and it’s something that I certainly rejoice in. But a type of thought pattern which was pervasive in my own life was this idea that as believers, we are forgiven largely as individuals and as long as we individually are forgiven, then we are right with God and all is well with the universe. The problem with this is that we don’t sin in a vacuum; often times, we wound each other through our sins and if we are honest with ourselves it’s not enough, that when we sin against someone, to say “you know what, Jesus has forgiven me of my sins, so let’s leave it at that and move on”. On one level that’s true, but on another don’t we actually need to seek reconciliation with the other person; isn’t forgiveness at the cross meant to be an entryway into new relationships built on honesty and repentance? Or on the flip side, if I or someone else is wounded by another, we may often think to ourselves, “Jesus alone will heal me of my wounds by way of his sacrifice on the cross”. We tend to both diagnose and treat our wounds in this way; we overly-spiritualize and try to superstitiously wish away our real hurt and pain. And some wounds are spiritual, but there is also the very real, nitty-gritty task of processing our human emotions.  And still the task of reconciliation, and in some cases seeking restitution from the one that wounded us, remains. Don’t you think? But like I said, there is often this disconnect in Christianity where we are encouraged to see ourselves as these spiritual beings who only need spiritual solutions to our very real problems.

I also thought about what David said in Psalm 51:4, where he says “Against you, you only, have I sinned…” While it is true that all sin is, in a sense, against God there is a very real human dimension to what David did. After all, Nathan spells out what he did very bluntly: He killed Uriah the Hittite with sword and stole his wife. Furthermore, David wasn’t even man enough to murder Uriah himself, but indirectly used the Ammonites to do so. Nathan doesn’t pull any punches in regard to the very real people that David hurt; he doesn’t put a spiritual spin on the situation in any way, shape or form.

I’ll tell you what’s also an even bigger problem with this over-spiritualization: Jesus never advocated this. Look at what he says (right after the Lord’s Prayer, which is largely seen as a “spiritual” exercise between a believer and God):

“14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” – Matt 6:14, 15

Very interesting that Jesus would say this; in the Lord’s Prayer, forgiveness does not appear to be the primary thrust of the prayer, yet Jesus deems it important enough to add a sternly worded epilogue specifically about forgiveness between God and others.*

And consider Jesus’ words here:

22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

It seems to me that Jesus is connecting these “spiritual” acts of forgiveness and worship between God and man to the human relationships that exist in our everyday lives. It’s as if he’s saying that no matter what our relationship is like with God, if we aren’t treating the real human beings in our everyday lives with integrity and compassion, our spirituality doesn’t really amount to much.  And this makes sense because think about who Jesus is; he is God incarnate or God made flesh. He is the very intersection between this spiritual otherness that we define as God and human beings just like ourselves. It’s as if God is saying in Jesus that our spirituality is inherently tied to our physical world, our own humanity and the communities that we are involved in.

Incarnational Ministry vis a vis Empathetic Communication

This incarnational aspect of God is what I want to “flesh” out through Acts 17. This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible for in this we are given a vivid example of God’s desire to communicate spiritual truths to us on our human level.

This was during Paul’s second missionary journey, which transpired between the years 50-52 A.D., (he did three in total) and before he arrived at Athens, he was driven from first Thessalonica and then Berea (where he famously met the “Noble Bereans”).  He was driven out of those regions by Jews who wanted to destroy his gospel-preaching efforts. For the sake of Paul’s safety, he was escorted to Athens with the hope that Timothy and Silas, his traveling companions, would join him there at a later time.

Upon arriving in Athens, Paul is deeply bothered by all of the idolatrous statues in the city. Surely Paul understood that it was Rome’s practice to subsume the religions of those that they subjugated. It was to keep the idea of Pax Romana (which was really not peace) intact. But in Athens it was overkill; one ancient is quoted as saying that Athens had over 30,000 idols [1]. I’m sure that Paul was alarmed by the fact that the Jews in Athens could possibly be syncretizing with the culture around them and thus missing the message of the gospel contained in the Holy Scriptures. Think about how many times that Isaiah denounces idol-worship. In fact, this is one of the key points of his sermon to the philosophers later on. So Paul takes the initiative to engage the Jews and the Greek converts to Judaism (called God-fearing Greeks) in discussions namely concerning the Messiah using the OT. From what Luke records, the idea of the resurrection of Jesus particularly piqued the interest of some of the Greek philosophers and so they begin debating with him. They probably regard him as some unsophisticated, primitive Jew (because remember, Greek culture at the time was hot and Athens in particular was seen as an intellectual bastion of sorts.) They probably argued, “Hey, we have all sorts of gods who are immortal, but an obscure Jewish guy from Palestine sure ain’t one of ‘em.” But nonetheless some of the people were interested in what Paul had to say (Luke notes that a lot of people were content to simply pontificate about the latest ideas at the time). So they took him to a place called the Areopagus, which functioned as a place of settling matters of jurisprudence.

Paul seizes this opportunity, taking the floor and launching into his gospel message. Notice how he begins his dialogue. “People of Athens! I see that in every way are very religious.” This was actually a commendation, because he affirmed the fact that they were somehow seeking to worship or reach out to God. And also notice the fact that he addressed them as Athenians. He didn’t open up his sermon by saying, “Non-descript people group who I’m preaching to, repent or burn in hell!” Rather he started with a positive affirmation which was actually quite true.

Next, Paul exploits one of their idols, using it as an entry point to introduce his God to them. He says, hey you guys have this inscription to an unknown God, and wouldn’t you know I happen to know something about a God that you guys don’t know about so take a listen to this:

24 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. 25 And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. 26 From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

29 “Therefore since we are God’s offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone—an image made by human design and skill. 30 In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. 31 For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to everyone by raising him from the dead.”

This is such a profound message of God’s initiative to reach out to us. He corrects the idea of man’s tendency to make God in his own image, thus fashioning idols and temples and so forth; he turns this notion completely on its head by saying that no, we are in fact made in God’s image. And he’s not dependent on us, endlessly requiring our servitude so that he may be both appeased and sustained. Furthermore, he’s not a vending machine that only blesses us when we do something for him. Rather, out of his own loving initiative, he is the one that ultimately serves us and gives life and provision to us. And look at what Paul is doing; he’s essentially giving the message of the entire OT without using OT quotes or references. He understands that his audience doesn’t have the OT as a reference point, so he communicates biblical truths in a way that they can understand. In fact, he intersperses quotes from their own poets and philosophers. Aratus, a Cilician Stoic philosopher and poet remarked that we are God’s offspring. And the Cretan philosopher Epiminedes wrote that “in him we live and move and have our being.” These are beautiful statements which completely undermine the sentiment that we have come about by happenstance; indeed, God was intimately involved in everything from choosing our skin color and ethnicity to determining where we would be born; God infuses his own image into us so that through interacting with each other, we would come to know him in his fullness (theologically, this is called the variegated or multi-faceted nature of God). So it is no mistake that we are who we are, rather it is God’s perfect wisdom to put us in the optimal position where we could reach out to him and know him.

Finally, Paul closes with the revelation of God’s appointed judge, Jesus Christ. He will rule the earth with justice and judge every act; he will put everything in its proper place. A foreshadow of this kind of perfect adjudication is found in the resurrection and thus vindication of his Son; he was unjustly put to death, but God rose him from the dead in effect reversing the edict of guilt showing that he had power over such definitive decrees. Not even the stark reality of death can overcome God’s desire to mete out justice. In fact, Christ is justice personified and that is why he prevails even over death. This is a massive comfort to those who long for justice in this world; those who are involved in combating sex trafficking and tackling civil rights and equality issues. In the person of Christ, we see that mankind’s ultimate trajectory is toward becoming a perfectly just and loving being like him.

Through a comparison of the tenets of Epicureanism and Stoicism (link to ppt slide), we can see specifically how Paul contextualized the gospel to his audience. (The red and blue circled items are tenets which line up with Christianity while the strike-throughs do not) Note a few things here: 1) Paul affirms some of the positive aspects found in each philosophy (namely, free will and determinism). And he corrects some things which are vital to understanding Christianity and knowing the incarnational nature of God. For instance, God is theistic rather than deistic and understanding our existence does not come from abstract wisdom (logos) but rather through knowing God the person in Christ (Logos). Paul has a keen understanding of his audience and out of love, he can empathize with some of their beliefs and make a meaningful connection with them.

How God has Contextualized the Gospel to Me

Several years back I developed something called the Evil Survey, where I simply ask students about the problem of evil. After all, this is an issue that the gospel seeks to rectify and it hits home with everyone, religious or not. So the method is to simply ask questions and understand people’s world views. It doesn’t use any biblical language and avoids asking both leading and loaded questions. Through this, I’ve had many eye-opening conversations with people from all kinds of backgrounds including believers, atheists, Muslims, Hindus, agnostics, former believers and so forth. Notably, what I’ve come to learn through this process of listening and asking questions is that 1) people genuinely long for someone to listen to and either challenge or affirm their worldviews and 2) I have to respect where people are at in a given moment in their lives. It’s as if God has been evangelizing me or teaching me the gospel through this, making me more human in the process. And this comports with a statement made by the German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer,

“The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love for us that He not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear.

So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him. Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.” [2]

Though he’s speaking about the Christian community here, I believe full and well that we should apply this to those outside of the church. Additionally, I work in a multi-cultural environment where rather than preaching to my colleagues, I have taken the approach of simply seeking to understand where they are coming from. What are their life narratives? For instance, as someone who has migrated from the Middle East, what is it like to now live in America? What are the challenges, what do you like and dislike about it? What do you think about life and spirituality? Again, this process has served to humanize me and it has made me realize that as human beings, we all stand together in a sort of solidarity in that we are trying to make sense of life and seek some kind of meaningful purpose.

Counter-intuitive, Unconditional Love

But the main way that I have come to know the gospel in a contextual manner is through my wife. My wife and I are almost complete opposites. She’s always on time, has a schedule for everything and is detailed oriented to the tee. She doesn’t like to talk much either; she’s a doer. I couldn’t be more annoying to her. I’m always late, I take my time and I’m a lofty thinker and my head is usually stuck in the clouds. Plus, I like to talk. A. Lot. I always ask her, “What’s on your mind?” and I want to engage her in some kind of theological discussion, to which I receive the proverbial eye roll and sigh from her.

All this said, over the years, I’ve come to find out that my wife is one of the most loving people I have ever known. She puts up with so much of my stuff. If marriage teaches you anything, it’s that yes, you’re a jerk. See, mom will never admit this to you, though she knows it’s true. She’ll love you till the day you die but your wife loves you enough to tell it like it is. But my wife loves this jerk. She accepts me as I am and affirms the good things she sees in me on a daily basis. I’m simply floored and smitten by this kind of love. I’ve come to the conclusion that her unconditional love is God’s incarnate love to me. It’s fascinating how counter-intuitive his love can be. I thought that love would be putting me with someone who is the same as me, but in fact, it has come through two seemingly opposites. But this is wonderful, because through her I’m able to view an intriguing and captivating side of God that I would have otherwise never known. And now we have these beautiful children who are a product of this incarnate love. When I look into their faces, I’m amazed and taken aback at what God has done. We’re all vastly different in our little family unit and thus we’re put in a position where we can each grow in our humanity, that is, in Christ’s image together. So my family has sort of been the church to me over this past half year or so.

My Hope for the Church

In closing, I want to remark on a saying that I used to hear in ministry. It’s that you don’t have to necessarily like your fellow church members but you do have to love them. This is one of the most misguided sentiments I have ever heard. How are you going to love someone that you don’t like anything about? The gospel affirms each of us as individual and unique human beings. While the cross reveals the ugliness of our sin, it also helps us to look past this in order to see the beautiful images of God in one another and simply appreciate, learn from and behold that beauty. When we look at one another, we are looking into the face of Christ, I believe. Wouldn’t it be great to simply relate to one another in the church in this way? This is my prayer and hope. I’m starting first in midst of my family members. And who knows, I may someday again commit myself to a particular church fellowship. Thank you all for listening and God bless you all abundantly.

[1] Kayser, Phillip G., “Ruins of Athens – The Curse of the Athenian Model of Education”. Biblical Blueprints. 2009. Pg. 4 [http://biblicalblueprints.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/RuinsOfAthens.pdf]

[2] Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. “Life Together”. 1954.

*[Author’s note] This originally said, “Very interesting that Jesus would say this; there is nothing about forgiveness in the Lord’s Prayer, yet this is right at the end of it making a seemingly important point.” This is of course wrong. I’ve both read and written about the Lord’s Prayer many times, so I might chalk that glaring error up to confirmation bias; I felt strongly about making a point about forgiveness and so I viewed the prayer a certain way. Good lesson in objectivity or the lack thereof we sometimes display. This could also indicate that I simply need someone to proofread my material beforehand :)

Per the question about membership, it probably goes without saying that the most important membership we have is in the body of Christ. While it may be obvious, it is the starting point of any Christian church’s legitimacy and must be mentioned. Our fundamental identity comes from our relationship with God through Christ, not from an organization. By God’s grace in Jesus Christ we are part of the larger, invisible church of God (Eph 4:25, 1 Cor 12) that spans human organizations and carries out his will in the world. The head of that church is Christ himself (Col 1:18, Eph 1:22-23). The benefits of this membership are numerous. The Holy Spirit lives within us, we have been given diverse spiritual gifts to use for God’s glory, we are part of a supportive community, we can grow through being accountable to each other, and we have a context through which we can serve the Lord to bring the gospel to the ends of earth, among many other things. Our responsibility towards each other is to do everything in love (1 Cor 16:14, John 13:34) and to seek peace and reconciliation (Rom 12:18, Mt 5:23-24). Communion is a symbol of our corporate fellowship with Christ, based on his broken body and the shedding of his blood for our sins. As we examine ourselves and repent of sins before taking communion (1 Cor 12:27-33), so we have the responsibility to continually be cleansed of sin in our lives and grow as Christ’s unblemished bride (Ephesians 5:25-27). Any Christian organization or church, including UBF, is subject first and foremost to the expectations of behavior for a member of the Body of Christ.

The church is greatly beloved of Christ and is a glorious manifestation of his love and purpose in the world, but it is not without its issues. Christ knows the good deeds of the church (Rev 2:2-3, 2:9-10, 2:13, 2:19, 3:8, 3:13), but he is also critical of her (Rev 2:4, 2:16, 2:20, 3:1-2, 3;15). He says to one of the churches in Revelation, “Those who I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.” (Rev 3:19) In the same way, while we may love the church we are realistic about it. She should not be an idol. We don’t serve an organization or a church in a vacuum; we serve the Lord himself through the church. We acknowledge that while our Lord is perfect, his church may have blemishes and stains that require cleansing and redemption.

UBF is one small part of the body of Christ. Samuel Lee was not the founder of UBF. He started the organization along with Sarah Barry in 1961. In fact, it is almost impossible to imagine UBF ministry without both Samuel Lee and Sarah Barry. Ultimately it is God who started a ministry through UBF. God has mysteriously chosen to use fragile human beings, who have both good points and sins, in his work.

I knew Samuel Lee for more than two decades and for most of those years I was around him at least 3-4 times per week. God taught me a lot of good things through him. Overall my experiences with him and my observations of him were and still are mostly positive, though not all of it was positive and some of it was odd.

Of the 17 bullet points Joe listed related to Samuel Lee, I personally witnessed or experienced 7 of them at some point in time, though they may not have applied to everyone all of the time as you implied for a few of them. I heard about the other 10 items you mentioned happening to people. I can’t independently verify that those 10 items actually happened, but am reasonably certain that they did happen though they may not have applied to everyone all of the time as you implied for a few of them.

What do you think of getting blasted by a high pressure water hose for punishment, being forced to spend hours crawling on your knees in cold water, carrying heavy loads, and going without sleep and food for extended periods of time all the while someone is yelling at you at the top of his lungs? It sounds pretty abusive if you don’t know the context. But this is exactly what they do in the training for the Special Forces in the Navy (the SEALs), and all of those men voluntarily go through this training in order to prepare to be leaders and prepared for the harshness of real combat. One of the more inspiring videos I have seen is the 2014 Commencement Address at the University of Texas by Admiral William H. McRaven, who headed up the US Special Forces Command at one time. If you haven’t seen the video and have a spare 20 minutes, please check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxBQLFLei70.

What do you think of being required to take a vow of poverty, chastity and obedience to the hierarchy in order to serve the Lord Jesus? This also sounds pretty restrictive, legalistic, tough and contradictory to the love and grace of Jesus, but it is exactly what they do in the Jesuit Order of the Catholic Church, from which Pope Francis came. Jesuits are trained rigorously in many ways and can’t even own the shirt on their back, but they voluntarily submit to these to grow in their faith, and to mold their character to be more humble and obedient to the Lord.

For Lee and the people who went through the things you mentioned (and more), they had a similar motivation as those who go through the training in the above examples. I think that Samuel Lee wanted UBF to be something like a Christian Special Forces and a Jesuit-type organization. Since he and Sarah Barry took the Great Commission very seriously, the driving force was their zeal to spread the gospel to the ends of the earth and to make disciples in Christ’s name. Lots of people met Christ through their Bible teaching. Many were moved by the Holy Spirit to voluntarily go through various kinds of trainings at Lee’s direction in order to learn to rely on God, to be strong in harsh circumstances and to overcome in order to be Christ’s witness. It was good training for them, and many vigorously testify to that to this day. Many voluntarily became missionaries. God used them and is still using them to share his word and his love, and to in turn make more disciples of Jesus.

But Lee’s approach was not good for everyone. The Navy SEALs give each person the option of “ringing the bell” to quit at any time. The Jesuits also provide a path out if that is not God’s call in a person’s life. In UBF, Lee and others sometimes did not present a clear way to opt out. It was his way or the proverbial highway to hell sometimes. Some did not voluntarily sign up for “training” or were not ready for it but got that treatment anyway, and this caused unnecessary problems that look like abuse. Lee was given and exerted a great deal of control over the lives of a number of people. His zeal for God, genuine compassion for people, love of the Bible, wit and insight were remarkable. These qualities made him a benevolent dictator for many he was around for the vast majority of the time. But Lee had his shortcomings, as we all do, that had amplified effects because of his position of power. A dose of Confucian cultural norms, a pinch of Korean nationalism and a smidgen of Machiavellian turpitude made Lee’s mostly unchecked power problematic at times.

The strong emphasis on mission in UBF is a wonderful thing, but when misapplied it creates some knotty issues. For example, some people may not have met Christ deeply before earnestly participating in mission work. Thus, it could have come across that a message of salvation by works was being preached rather than salvation by faith in Christ alone, and it could have been inferred that service to the church or people in the church was most imperative. In other cases, mission was put above families, causing hurt, neglect and dysfunction. Only the Lord himself deserves first place in our lives, not an organization. And putting the Lord first is not inconsistent with loving our families and being a responsible person in the world. While our church and the students on the campus are important, our families, jobs, friendships and even our enemies are an integral part of our mission of making disciples of Jesus as well as of our witness for Christ.

The good qualities that Lee possessed and practiced consistently are elements that any ministry would want to maintain. We thank God for those positive legacies in our UBF ministry, and the work of the Holy Spirit through them. However, while it is necessary to have strong leaders, there has been work to remedy and redeem continuing authoritarianism in the ministry and its consequences. Leaders are being referred to more as “Pastor” rather than “Director”. More local chapters have bodies of elders so as to provide more shared leadership, and servant leadership is being emphasized more in staff interactions. There has been a gradual transition from Korean missionary leadership to native leadership. In parallel, I am aware of UBF reaching out to several people and families who have been adversely affected by ministry practices to apologize and promote reconciliation, and I foresee the possibility of this happening on a larger scale. The time frame for all of this is now and on a continuous basis going forward. Any attempt to address everything in one fell swoop at a particular point in time with one action or with one document would be a spurious exercise.

Having said the above, it is clear that any initiative or response in any amount of time is not good enough. A lot of the issues should have been dealt with long ago, or never even should have been allowed to happen in the first place. Many of us just may not fully understand yet about how we negatively impacted some people. We are all on our own spiritual journeys, dealing with our own personal issues, wounds and sins, and are still trying to process what God has been teaching us, but there are opportunities for frank and respectful interaction in many types of forums and contexts going forward. There is room for contrition, listening to narratives that may not be to our liking, and embracing people we misunderstood, disrespected, hurt and damaged in the past. Perhaps through this process God may help us to learn more and bring healing and blessing to those who have left, as well as to those who are in UBF.

As an additional note, there are numerous other ways we may not fully understand what we have done. I know some people who worked very hard to share Bible studies and sacrificed much to help others but are discouraged because they feel that they have little or nothing to show for their efforts. I’ve seen despair over what some consider to be “fruitless” ministry. But oftentimes our work in ministry cannot be accurately measured by numbers of people in a meeting, nor any other conventional metric. Some have come to faith in Christ through Bible study in the ministry and then have gone on to serve the Lord in other ways outside of UBF. Some may not have grown to be disciples in the sense UBF understands it but have been greatly encouraged by the Bible studies and the amazing acts of kindness by our missionaries and shepherds at critical times. The faithful everyday lives of God’s people in the world are a wonderful influence and testimony. God often works in ways we do not expect. I am blown away by the reaction of the “righteous” people in the parable of the sheep and the goats (Mt 25:31-46). They were surprised to hear that they had done anything of note, but the King saw it quite differently (Mt 12:40).

I am thankful for the work of the Holy Spirit through UBF as one small part of the body of Christ and pray that God may have mercy on us to repent where necessary and do what is right in his sight. Evangelism and discipleship is only strengthened, not hurt, when we are honest about our shortcomings in the process of striving to be even more authentic disciples of Jesus Christ.

Meeting gay Christians during sabbatical

It has been an amazing journey since that baptism. I have connected with numerous gender and sexual minority Christians and allies, both via social media and in person. The LGBTQAI community welcomed me, accepted me and loved me.

Still, for the past three years, I answered the question of “What denomination are you?” with one word: done.  I held my own “Brian’s beer church” (membership of one) every week. I took time to detox and be outside the gates of Christendom. I enjoyed the time immensely. It was my sabbatical. And I highly recommend taking one or two or more years if you need time to re-connect with life and with your self and with the world around you without the influence of the church. Such a thing was healthy for me.

Moved to return to church

This past weekend I had the great privilege to spend five days worshiping, learning and connecting with lesbian and gay and intersex Christians and their allies. If you ever get this chance, please pursue it! I saw the glory of God as their hearts poured out to God. I saw the kingdom of God where there is no “male and female” (Galatians 3:28). And I was accepted.

I found I have many roles to play in the kingdom of God. I have much to process right now, but I can say clearly now: I love the church. I am a Christian. I love God’s people. And I love my self. I am full of gratitude for Matthew Vines, the gay Christian who inspired me to love the gospel and to love the church.

What worship experiences have you had recently? What motivates you to love people? How do you love the church? What roles have you discovered for using your talents in the kingdom of God?

[picture credit: “Church” artwork by my mother, Linda Yenser]

Proverbs 29:18a says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish…” I grew up in Malaysia, with no vision. But when I was 17, someone said, “You can enter medical school.” A vision was planted, and without ever having considered it before, I applied and entered medical school within a few months. Five years later I became a doctor.

During my medical internship in Singapore, while taking a shower, a fellow intern said, “I’m going to apply to go to the U.S.” Another vision was planted, and I immediately decided to come to the U.S., despite objections from family and friends and many difficulties. By God’s providence, I came to Chicago in 1980.

After coming to Chicago UBF, Dr. Samuel Lee began shepherding me. Those of you who know me know that I am stubborn, forceful, opinionated and highly infuriating. But through Dr. Lee, God planted a vision in me that even an unlikely person like me can shepherd American students and raise 120 disciples. Dr. Lee’s vision was unforgettable. Dr. Lee always communicated to me that I was great. But whenever he did I trembled, saying to myself, “If only you knew how sinful I am!” But he never deviated in always communicating to me unconditional love, trust and respect, despite my countless flaws, failures and sins for over 2 decades. In this way, God used him to plant the fear of God in me. In this way, God burned a fire within me to raise disciples of Christ all my life no matter what. Only by God’s mercy and the vision of Dr. Lee, God blessed my house church to establish pioneering house churches in the U.S. and to pioneer 1 nation, the Philippines.

When Dr. Lee passed away in 2002, I began praying for my own kids and for our 2nd gens. I felt a disconnection between us because there were generational barriers and cultural barriers. So, our 2nd gens subliminally thought of UBF as “my parent’s church.” But God granted me a vision that they are the best kids in the world, because they have 2 great attributes: 1) they honor the Bible as the word of God, and 2) they want to live a moral life. Then with the prayers and tears of countless UBF parents, God blessed our Young Disciples ministry over the last 5 years until 200 attendants came to our YD winter retreats in recent years.

What is my vision for our West Loop UBF? My vision is borrowed from Dr. Lee. Dr. Lee’s vision was to love and raise American leaders. According to his faith and vision, God raised so many great Americans, beginning with P. Ron, Dr. Jim Rabchuk, Dr. Joe Schafer, P. Teddy, Dr. Helen Rarick, Dr. Sam A. Lee and countless others. Similarly, God put in me a desire to support young leaders, so that God may raise them to be great servants of God. By God’s leading, God has granted us a handful of already great men and women of God for West Loop UBF. (Rhoel, Henry, Tim, Jim, Arthur, Len and Ruben. Their wives: Elena, Susan, Angie, Jenny, M. Helen, Liliana, Tif. We also have Michelle, Damon Mui, Oscar, Dindo, Iris.) Because of each of them, who are all far greater and better than I, I stand in awe of God. Because of them, and the prayers of many, and by the great mercy of God I see the vision that God will make us the best UBF chapter in the 21st century, by catching up to Triton, UIUC, LP, West LA, IIT, and Chicago UBF, to whom I am forever indebted.

I feel funny reading what I wrote just over six years ago, and the way I wrote it. Feel free to feel confused, confounded, or to cringe, cower, comment, compliment (perhaps!) or critique.

For the Church

Gracious Father, we pray for the holy Catholic Church. Fill it with with all truth, in all truth with all peace. Where it is corrupt, purify it; where it is in error, direct it; where in any thing it is amiss, reform it. Where it is right, strengthen it.; where it is in want, provide for it; where it is divided, reunite it, for the sake of Jesus Christ your Son our Savior. Amen.

For Our Enemies

O God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth; deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty and revenge; and in your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

For the Unity of the Church

O God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, our only Savior, the Prince of Peace: Give us grace seriously to lay to heart the great dangers we are in by our unhappy divisions; take away all hatred and prejudice, and whatever else may hinder us from godly union and concord; that, as there is one Body and one Spirit, one hope of our calling, one Lord, one Faith, one Baptism, one God and Father of us all, so we may all be of one heart and of one soul, united in one holy bond of truth and peace, of faith and charity, and may with one mind and one mouth glorify you, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

And here is one more from The Paraclete Psalter:

Eternal and omnipotent God,

you have called us to be members of one body.

Join us with those who in all times and places have praised your name,

that with one heart and mind, we may show the unity of your church,

and bring honor to our Lord and Savior.

We ask this through the same Jesus Christ, your Son,

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

one God, forever and ever. Amen.

Oh, my, how the times have changed; so much has happened since then.

Be forewarned: this installment will be different.

And rejoice, for today is your lucky day! You are the winner of Wonka’s Golden Ticket. Reach out your hand. With this V.I.P. pass, we’ll descend into belly of the beast, to the inner sanctum, that secretive world of UBF leadership that has never before seen the light of day.

And this time, I will be naming names. Yes, today you will hear things that I have not yet shared with anyone, except for my wife and perhaps our dog.

Why am I doing this? Because I want to. And because I read an inspiring message from Washington UBF. This part of the message stuck in my heart.

How should we carry out this ministry? Look at verse 2. “Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.” The gospel ministry is not like the worldly business or political campaign. It is a non-profit ministry. There should be no shameful secret agenda, no distortion, and no deception. Honesty, transparency, purity, and straight talk are the backbone of the gospel ministry.

I couldn’t agree more. Nothing promotes the gospel like honesty, transparency, purity and straight talk. Sit back, relax, and enjoy.

‘Twas the middle of November, the week before Thanksgiving. From my perspective, morale in had fallen to be at an all time low, but the leaders didn’t seem to have a clue. What concerned me most was the lack of communication.  In private, a few leaders were becoming a wee bit honest, dropping some lines that sounded sincere. But no one had a grip on what I saw happening all around. Paul Hong was cheerfully chirping about his chapter, with that fancy new building and all. But I knew from firsthand reports that not all was well in Toledo, and dark clouds were looming on the horizon. Jacob Lee was crowing about all that love they were feeling in Washington, how he was so buddy-buddy with the younger generation. But Sharon and I had been to the Harvest Festival a few weeks earlier. We had seen for ourselves how the young people in the audience (virtually all second gens, almost no natives in sight) were rolling their eyes. Many had snuck out of the lectures because they were bored or offended. The title of that Harvest Festival was “Empowering the Next Generation,” but the ones who enjoyed it were the oldest Korean missionaries. The program was designed to tell the elders’ stories, to affirm their values and life-choices. But once again, a report had gone up on the UBF website telling how wonderful that Harvest Festival was, how the next generation had been empowered and accepted their mission and true identity. In most of the chapters that I knew well, members couldn’t be honest with their leaders; there was no safe space for people to express what they truly thought and felt. Leaders and members who saw each other daily had entirely different perceptions of reality, as if they were living in parallel universes.

On my own, I had decided to contact more than fifty UBF members whom I believed I could trust. I had collected their answers to five open-ended questions about the state and trajectory of UBF. I synthesized my findings in this report. That project occupied two weeks of my life. I worked day and night to finish it quickly, because I wanted the report in the hands of UBF leaders before a senior staff retreat. Sharon can testify how hard I worked, even when it was probably a stupid thing to do at a time when I should have been taking care of my health, my career, my finances and my family.

Dear everyone: You can say whatever you like about why I did this. Call me proud, foolish, inexperienced, know-it-all, untrained, too big for my britches, full of typical Ivy League mentality, blah blah blah. Whatever negatives you may say about me, I can give you more. All of those things are absolutely true. Yes, I am the proudest of sinners. But with God as my witness, I say this to you now.

To the leaders of UBF: When I put together this report, I did it on my own time, of my own initiative, without getting paid, knowing that it would probably land me in trouble, yet I did it anyway because I loved you and because I cared about the future of our ministry. I did it because I imagined that, as pastors, you just might be interested in how you were perceived by your flock.

To the Americans who were/are in UBF: When I put together this report, I also did it for you, because I am one of you. I did it because I loved you and because I cared about the future of our ministry. I did it because I hoped that someday you would be allowed to become who you really are, the people that God created you to be, American disciples who live in the American context, free to break out of the hyper-Korean evangelical mold into which you had been so awkwardly forced.

To all  the Korean-American second-gens: When I put together this report, I also did it for you. I was not one of you, but I loved you. I hoped to convey to your parents and your leaders some of the things that you wanted to express but could not say directly. I did it because I hoped that UBF could really become a unique multicultural community where the work of the Holy Spirit had broken down boundaries,  where unity in diversity was not some farfetched goal but our daily common experience.

On that snowy day in November 2010, I drove up to Camp Wonderland, Wisconsin to attend the senior staff retreat. I had emailed my report to the senior staff members two days earlier, but had not yet received any replies. I shared a ride with a member of the senior staff, and the conversation was fascinating. He was frustrated with the way UBF had been going, sick and tired of all the power plays, petty politics, all the people who couldn’t be trusted. In that car, he opened up and shared two stories that I had never heard before.

The first story was about all the political maneuvering that took place during the first reform movement in America (1989-92). He said that Samuel Lee had come within a hair’s breadth of being ousted. At one point, even Paul Hong and Sarah Barry knew that Lee was out of control, and they tentatively agreed to side with the reformers. But when this man  decided to stand with Lee, the tide turned back and some would-be reformers flipped. Paul Hong read the writing on the wall; he flipped back to support Lee, and was rewarded for his loyalty by being appointed director of Toledo after James Kim was forced out.

The second story he told was of his experiences with Samuel Lee. A member of this man’s chapter claimed that his Sunday messages were almost as good as the messages of Lee. When Lee heard about this, he became very upset. He demanded to see copies of this man’s Sunday messages. Those copies were returned to him, with every paragraph marked up with red ink, and the man was forced to make hundreds of corrections under the guise of “improving his English.” Those corrections were completely unnecessary, because the manuscripts had already been checked and edited by an English major from that chapter. Even worse, this man was ordered to come to the Chicago center for message training every Monday. Those trips were very costly, taxing his health, his finances, his family and his ministry. He said that those trips almost killed him. But for some reason, he decided to do it anyway. Finally, he spoke of one American shepherd who stood at Samuel Lee’s side in Chicago, supervising and carrying out this abusive training. Years later, he asked that American shepherd, “Why did you do that to me? Didn’t your conscience bother you?” The American said nothing; he shrugged his shoulders and smiled. That American is still in a place of leadership and, as far as I know, has no intention of ever allowing these issues of abuse to be freely discussed or admitted.

As he told these tales, I was taken aback. The stories themselves were not surprising; I had seen the harsh training since I first came to UBF, and I vaguely knew of the political wrangling in the late 80’s and early 90’s which ousted some chapter directors. What surprised me was his willingness to tell me straight up.  As I listened to the stories, I began to wonder: Are we on the verge of something? Are we reaching a tipping point where leaders will finally open their mouths and speak of those dark things that must never be spoken?

If anyone is interested in finding out what happened during the reform movement of 1989-92, I suggest you go and visit this man. Take him out to dinner, order a bottle of wine, and he just might be willing to tell you everything. Five years ago, he couldn’t care less about the reputation of UBF, and as far as I know, that hasn’t changed.

My memories of that Wisconsin retreat are a bit hazy, but I will share what I can recall.

When I saw the schedule for the retreat, I became upset, because it was not going to be a retreat at all. Little time had been set aside for open group discussion. The program was filled with Bible study, business items and committee reports. Still I hoped and prayed that our time would be productive.

The group Bible study was led by Sarah Barry, and the passage was from 2 Chronicles 20. The people of Judah were facing a national crisis. A vast, three-nation army approached from the desert, ready to attack at any moment. King Jehoshaphat had no idea what to do. He called a national assembly, and standing there before the men, women and children of Judah, he cried out to the Lord: “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

As we studied this passage, I was stunned. Kings are not accustomed to showing ignorance or weakness. Even if they have no clue what they are doing, they want to project an air of strength and confidence, so that their followers stay with them and do not lose heart. Indeed, that was the leadership stance I was given by UBF: remain strong, keep choongshim, never stop marching, and when you are clueless, pretend that everything is going according to plan. That’s what I thought it meant to “have faith.” But in this passage, the top leader made himself vulnerable. He became a sitting duck, an easy target for a political or military coup. But when he stood in vulnerability before his nation, and together they all cried out to God, the Lord’s answer came through a prophet, and their deliverance that day was truly miraculous.

I found this passage so appropriate, the perfect metaphor for what was happening in UBF. Problems were mounting, morale was low, strength had run out, and the leaders had no clue. During that Bible study, I remember asking two questions.

My first question was, “What would it look like for the leaders of a Christian organization to actually do what Jehoshaphat did? What if we admitted to ourselves and our members that we have no good plans or answers for our problems? What if we all stood together helplessly before the Lord with our eyes firmly fixed on him, so that we might be open to his answers and his deliverance?”

When I asked that question, the room became still. I waited and got no response.

My second question came a bit later, and it was something like this. “One of the big items on our agenda is to decide what to do at the national staff conference three months from now. As of today, none of us has a plan. There are some big problems in our ministry. Our chapter directors are tired, morale is low, and many of you have been saying that we are burned out. I hope you all read that report I sent to you. Those issues are real; I didn’t make them up. Is it an accident that we are studying this passage today? Or might God be speaking to us through his word, asking us to do something courageous that we have never done before – to openly admit to our chapter directors that have no answers, and to stand together with them as equals before the Lord, repenting together and seeking direction and help from God alone?”

Once again, the room was silent. I knew that my question would make some uncomfortable, but I never imagined they wouldn’t even acknowledge the question.

The Bible study moved on.

That moment was for me a real eye opener. For a long time, I had known that UBF leaders were deeply flawed. But even in the worst of times, I had always sensed in them a stance of openness toward Scripture, a desire to treat the Bible as the word of God being spoken to them, and a willingness to obey what they were hearing. But at that moment, I felt a strange physical sensation. It was as though we had suddenly swung around on a hinge. Instead of looking into the face of God intending to do what he was asking, we now seemed turned away with our backs to the Lord, ignoring his voice and deliberately walking away. That was a feeling that I will never forget. It’s a feeling that I never want to feel again.

Little time was reserved for open discussion. At one point, we were able to talk for maybe an hour or so. I have a few memories of what went on. I remember Jim Rabchuk telling the story of how he had gotten burned out. The demands that UBF had placed on him (and many related demands that he had placed on himself) became overwhelming, and he was learning the necessity of saying “No.”

Jim also began to talk about some of the problems in his ministry.

As he was talking, he was interrupted by Jacob Lee. Jacob said (my paraphrase, but I believe it is accurate): “We can’t keep talking about all these problems. Of course, there are problems, we always have problems. We talk and talk and talk and there is never any solution. We cannot solve all our problems. We must move on from these problems and do the work of God.”

Jim got visibly upset. He shot back, “Missionary Jacob, that is ridiculous!”

I had never seen an American openly confront an older missionary like that, certainly not in the presence of other leaders. I was shocked, and yet I felt strangely comforted. “Good for him,” I thought. “Good. for. him.”

And James H. Kim made a passionate speech about spiritual disciplines. He had begun to read Peter Scazzero’s books on spiritual formation, and was learning the importance of contemplative prayer. He said (again a paraphrase): “Our American staff shepherds are all burned out. They have no time to think, no time to recharge. They are just doing, doing, doing every day like machines. That is not a Christian life. That is not the way to be a leader. Leaders must reflect, must stay in the presence of God. Leaders should meditate with times of deep contemplation!”

I was ready to stand up and applaud.

John Jun didn’t like what he was hearing. He yelled, “Time over! Time over! Time for lunch!”

Then James H. Kim shouted over him: “Each one of our staff shepherds MUST spend THREE HOURS EVERY DAY in quiet study and contemplation!”

My heart sank like a stone. That was the last thing our burned-out staff needed to hear. Three hours a day? I couldn’t contain myself, so I blurted: “Missionary James, you said ‘three hours a day.’ Is that instead of some things they are currently doing, or in addition to everything they already do?”

The discussion was over. It was time for lunch.

Here are a few more things I remember from that staff retreat.

After that exchange with James H. Kim, John Jun started to clamp down. At our next meeting, he brought out a call bell, one of those metal contraptions you see on the front desk of a hotel. When he thought someone was talking too much – which was after about 60 or 90 seconds – he would ring the bell and say, “Time over! Time over!” As he did this, some of the missionaries laughed. To me, this was not a laughing matter. We desperately needed to get real about things that truly mattered, and I didn’t care how long it took. But the funny thing is, at that time I didn’t get upset about the bell. I had lived in UBF-land so long that I was accustomed to that kind of treatment. Months later, when I told some friends what John Jun had done, their jaws dropped. They couldn’t believe that the leader of a Christian organization would do that in a room full of adults, shutting people up by ringing a bell. In retrospect, I see that this was outrageous. But at the time, it felt almost normal.

The so-called retreat shifted into all-business mode. Ron Ward discussed plans for a new CME (Continuing Missionary Education) institute. That 30-minute presentation was the longest three hours of my life. It droned on and on and on. Then Jacob Lee laid out his vision for a UBF school  for the education of children, teaching them all subjects (reading, writing, math, etc.) from a standpoint of mission, so that we could pass on UBF core values to the next generation. Of course, we all knew what was really happening: these leaders were angling for pots of money from the UBF treasury to fund their pet projects. To say we were bored would be an understatement. The next item was conference planning. Mark Vucekovich talked about the 2013 International Summer Bible Conference, and it was decided that we would hold it at IUP. When Mark asked questions, he got essentially no response. My strength had been sapped, and I sensed that others were feeling the same way. (Later, some confirmed to me that, yes, they were bored out of their skulls.)

The last major item on the agenda was the North American Staff Conference to be held three months later. No plans had made, no theme was proposed. I spoke up and said something like this: “In light of what we learned from our group Bible study, why don’t we do what Jehoshaphat did, admitting that we really don’t know what we are doing, and stand together in prayer before the Lord to seek help and renewal for our ministry.”

My suggestion wasn’t acknowledged. They fidgeted for a brief moment and then moved on.

After hearing complaints that we needed to talk, John Jun made a small concession. He allowed everyone in the room to speak in turn, saying whatever was on their minds, within a limit of two minutes. Thankfully, he did not ring his bell. I cannot recall anyone’s remarks, except for the elder Daniel Yang, who said something like this: “My main concern is that we have no spirit. In the old days we had great spirit, because we used to study the Bible every day, 365 days a year, on Christmas, on New Year, no exception. It is my opinion that we must go back to intensive Bible study 365 days a year, so that our spirit may be revived. You might think differently, but that is my opinion.”

When my turn came, this is what I said. This is an exact quote. I wrote it down so I wouldn’t stumble over my words, and I saved it on my computer.

As I reflect back upon my life, I see five people who helped to shape my Christian faith. First, my mother, who raised me and my twelve siblings by faith in God alone. Second, a Catholic priest who befriended me and prayed for me during my freshman year at MIT; it was through his influence that I read a Christian book and committed my life to Christ. Third, Mother Barry, from whom I learned to respect and interact with Scripture. Fourth, John Armstrong, whose writings deeply challenged my sectarianism and opened my mind and heart to interact with the Body of Christ beyond UBF. Fifth, my wife, who has taught me countless things that other people could not; through her I am experiencing the love of God in new and wonderful ways.

Please forgive me, but I cannot identify Dr. Lee as my spiritual father, nor can I see myself as the fruit of UBF. I have drawn much spiritual nourishment from UBF, but I would not be the person I am today without those other influences. This is why I will never be just a UBF man, and why I cannot get excited about dedicating the rest of my life to promoting UBF-specific values. To do so would deny my roots and my heritage.

In feeling this way, I am not alone. America was a Christian nation long before UBF missionaries arrived, and a “typical” North American person in UBF will have significant spiritual influences in his or her life outside of UBF. To strongly press the principles of UBF upon us, to force us to claim that as our spiritual heritage, is to divide us from ourselves and from one another.

On the last day of the retreat, three senior staff members excused themselves and left early, saying that they needed to get to the airport. Later I learned that at least one of them deliberately changed to an earlier flight, because he concluded the retreat was a waste of time.

And now, we turn to the question that prompted this article.

What happened after I wrote that report?

Brian guessed this:

I suppose the ubf echelon kicked you out of the Well, and marginalized you in various ways…but I will let you tell the story.

Yes, that did happen eventually, but those events unfolded over a couple of years.

Ben said this:

My short guess is that you were called aside, basically reprimanded, told to “keep you place,” “mind your own business,” and basically asked, “who the heck do you think you are?” Well, probably not in those exact words.

Something like that sort of happened. At the beginning of the retreat, John Jun was not aware of my report. The guy who managed his email hadn’t told him about it. At the retreat, someone urged Jun to look at my report, and that first night, he did. The next day, just as we were heading to lunch, he poked me on the arm and said, “A leader should be humble! A leader should be humble!”

I took one step backward so that he could no longer touch me, looked him in the eye and said, “A leader should be honest.”

He replied, “Okay,” and then we went to lunch.

Reactions from the senior staff were muted. A couple of them said, “Thank you for your report,” and that was it. During the next week, I got feedback from a few more.

Brian’s and Ben’s answers aren’t wrong, but no one nailed it.

The answer to “What happened?” is so predictable, so typical of happenings in UBF-land, that when you hear it, you’ll slap yourself and say, “Duh!”

So obvious that it’s invisible, like that nose in front of your face.

This is what happened after that report.

(Drum roll, please.)

Joe Schafer humbled himself.

That’s right. I did exactly as UBF trained me to do. I sucked it up. I decided that once again, I needed to trust my leaders, believing that they would do what was right in God’s time. So I decided to pray and wait some more. I would lie low, not make waves, and keep following the leaders to God-knows-where.

And I urged everyone else to do the same.

After getting survey responses  from dozens of members, I feared that hopes were building that change would be imminent. I knew that nothing would happen for some time, so I wrote a letter and emailed it to everyone who had answered my survey. My key verse for the letter was Ephesians 4:3:

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

I did not ask anyone to keep quiet. I asked them to approach their leaders humbly and prayerfully, not with a spirit of division or complaint, but in a manner that was gentle and constructive, realizing that people from different generations and cultures will see things differently.

If you don’t believe that I actually did this, see for yourself. The letter is right here.

If you hear anyone say that I stirred up trouble, print a copy of this letter and place it in their hands.

As I waited for UBF leaders to do something about these issues, I didn’t sit down and do nothing (as several know-nothings have suggested). In the months ahead, I continued to study the Bible and preach Sunday messages. I prayed for our ministry, especially for those who were unhappy. We entertained UBF guests at our home, including Paul and Sarah Hong, who stayed with us overnight. I wrote dozens of positive articles for UBFriends, monitoring the website day and night to interact with everyone who cared to comment. I read dozens of books on various topics, especially the theology of mission.

And Sharon and I enrolled in John Armstrong’s first cohort on missional ecumenism. At a time when we really could not afford it, we paid from our own family budget (not with ministry funds) the full registration fees for the year-long course, for all the books, and for round-trip travel and accommodation in Chicago. We didn’t do this to become know-it-alls. We did it because we needed to understand what Christian unity is about. We were longing for someone, anyone, to please teach us how to relate to other Christians in our community. Most of all, we desperately wanted to know what the gospel required us to do in response to our fellow believers in UBF who, as the weeks and months went by, seemed ever more distant and different from us.

And with that, dear brothers and sisters, I bid you do widzenia.

P.S. – Some of you might say that I’ve gone too far, that it was unethical and unChristian to reveal what happened at that retreat. If so, I suggest that you lodge a complaint with Washington UBF.  Then please note that, during the many years that I served on the senior staff, no one ever suggested to me that the proceedings were to be kept secret.  In fact, at that Wisconsin retreat, I specifically recall some of the members (I could be wrong, but I think it was Henry Park and perhaps Paul Hong) saying that they are completely open and transparent about these things, and when they return home after a senior staff meeting, they meet with their members and inform them of what happened. And no one never said I should spin the events to make UBF leaders look better than they are. So I have done precisely what they said, explaining what happened as I experienced it.

If you were there and would like to tell it from a different perspective, send us your article, and we’ll publish it right away.

It’s not about Hymn 11

While I realize “hymn 11” may be a PTCD trigger for some, the hymn itself is not the issue at ubf. We should indeed “hail Jesus’ name”, and I am just now, after nearly 4 years of ubf-detox, able to say that. But as a former leader, the hymns we sang weren’t really the issue. It would have been nice for a change once in a while to break up the typical ubf boredom, but changing hymns or music styles won’t bring about reformation at ubf. My friend John writes this:

“I tend to think we do a very dangerous disservice to the church, and the people who are leaving, because we are getting people to think, ‘These must be the reasons people are leaving our church, we need to make some changes to stop this.’ The lists always include things like Worship Music, Building Layout, Outreach, Being Missional and so many others; but I think it leaves out the biggest reason people are leaving.” source

We Know Pressure

I think John hits on a major issue for Western churches, especially in America. But the point is even more valid in the ubf context. We know pressure. We know guilt. We know manipulation to “do God’s will”. We know about making people conform. We know about “going back to the bible” slogans. His words are highly insightful and relevant to my recovery from ubf:

“Pressure can take people from the sets and into the streets; life pressure can cause us to run to the Divine, while church pressure can make us run from the Divine. The more I think about it, the more I truly believe that pressure is the main killer of the church today. Think about it for a second, we put forward this image of Christ, this image of what it mean to be a Christian, and in reality no one can live up to it. No one can be the ‘perfect little Christian’ we expect them to be – so, when they fail we jump on them, we demand they “go back to the basics” never truly knowing what those basics are, because they change with every new article about why people are leaving.” source

The Harmful Results of Pressure

If we don’t handle pressure well or when we abuse the pressure that may have otherwise been good, we damage people. We who are involved with ubf all have seen this– and some have watched for decades. I find John’s description of the harmful results of too much pressure to be on target in the ubf context:

“When we put people under pressure we actually achieve the opposite of what we are striving to achieve. Pressure stifles growth, creativity, conversations, being honest, and being open with each other. Pressure places us in a world were being understanding our faults, our weaknesses, and our past, are not talked about, not discussed, and not forgiven. Pressure moves us from a place of love, to a place where cannot breath, we cannot express ourselves, we cannot let others in, and we refuse to allow others to take us in.” source

What can be done?

For me, I’ve been learning from many sources how to transform pressure into something beautiful. Pressure is actually very useful. Without pressure, the world and humanity might not function. Instead of letting pressure build up and explode in a rage of blog posts :) I am learning to let off steam every day, and to channel my energy from such pressure into working for things such as reconciliation, justice and peace. Here are some suggestions John concludes with in his article:

“What do I think we need to do? I think we need to turn the valve and release the pressure. We need to be open with each other and realize that “making a diamond” is not what we need to be thinking – we need to start to be open, loving and admit our mistakes; no judgment, no pressure. But this also leads to the question of how?

I think the first thing that needs to happen is that the Pastor needs to model what it means to be open and honest – they need to admit their faults, weaknesses and misgiving. Sure, this can be dangerous, we have to remember that when we open the valve, steam may come out and hit us in the face. But it is something we need to do, something we need to be honest about; a chance we need to take.

Second, we need to invite others to be open and honest, and we need to make sure we are a safe place for that to happen – In their being open and honest, we have to be ready to stand with them and keep an eye on the valve keepers.” source

How do you handle the mounting pressures in your life? What advice or tips do you have for releasing pressure and turning it into something beautiful or useful or helpful? What are some good ways to react to people who just need to vent and blow off some steam? Is your church or family a safe place to do that?

“In my experience, leaders have refused to participate in discussions where they cannot control the rules of engagement, the range of allowable topics, or manage the ultimate outcome. They are willing to meet with you one on one, but I have found that counterproductive because in private they say things to pacify you but nothing comes of it, and when you leave the room they change their tune entirely. There needs to be witnesses present and some kind of accountability. Basically, I’ve found that they refuse to participate in discussions where they might lose face. Dialogue requires letting go of control and being willing to lose face, if necessary, for the sake of the gospel and for the sake of love. It feels scary and dangerous. I understand their predicament. But it is a risk that they must take.”

For the sake of love. I understand that UBF leaders will find the above paragraph very hard to read, because it is an indictment on them. But honestly, good leaders listen to anything “thrown at them,” if they truly want to be a “world class leader” like Jesus, who did have everything thrown at him!

Please listen. A leader who only wants to teach others, lord over others and control them, but not seriously dialogue with them or listen to them makes a poor leader. A Christian leader is ultimately never one who is appointed (by God or by people), but one who has earned the right to lead others through Christ-like love. I will state categorically that a leader who does not genuinely dialogue with or listen to his or her people will eventually lose them to someone who would listen to them. Isn’t this why so many people, including so many 2nd gen children of hardcore senior leaders, are continuing to leave UBF?

Here’s Charles’ comment:

“…it became too painful to stay in UBF, and much of my time in UBF was painful. It was painful to see a so-called church systematically abuse people in the name of shepherding, praise those who did so, and then vilify and ignore those who either left or spoke against the issues. It was painful to see the whole congregation be asked to pray for such and such UBF chapter to have a big conference with many attendees while knowing that that very chapter has hurt people. To see this done, with business as usual continuing, was painful and anger inducing. And then it happened to me too.

After leaving, I experienced the very things mentioned (on UBFriends). I realized how isolated my life had become. The feelings of deception, of embarrassment in becoming a self-absorbed fool for so long, of disappointment and betrayal, were all painful. But in the end I’m glad to have left and stood by my convictions with the support of my wife because despite the pains, it sure feels great to feel like I’m becoming human again. It has been simultaneously painful and difficult, and still exciting and wonderful.”

Eerie and chilling words. The chilling phrase in Charles’ words after being in UBF for 14 years is this: “And then it happened to me too.” What happened to Charles? In his words it was to be vilified and ignored when he tried to raise concerns and speak to senior leaders about them. He wanted a genuine heart to heart dialogue. But after being shut down multiple times all he could say is, “And then it happened to me too.” (This I believe is also what countless others have felt from the UBF hierarchy.) Gosh, these words are eerie and chilling!

Can we please have a dialogue? Joe’s contention in his words are that “leaders have refused to participate in discussions where they cannot control the rules of engagement, the range of allowable topics, or manage the ultimate outcome.” In brief, the UBF hierarchy does not really want to listen or have a dialogue, for what they want is primarily for you to listen to them telling you what to do. Will such a practice ever lead to a happy marriage if one spouse only wants the other spouse to listen to them and obey them? Will this lead to a happy father son dialogue and conversation?

Let me conclude with a few excellent words by Pope Francis about what prevents dialogue and about how to have a genuine dialogue with another:

“…we succumb to attitudes that do not permit us to dialogue: domination, not knowing how to listen, annoyance in our speech, preconceived judgments and so many others. Dialogue is born from a respectful attitude toward the other person, from a conviction that the other person has something good to say. It supposes that we can make room in our heart for their point of view, their opinion and their proposals. Dialogue entails a warm reception and not a preemptive condemnation. To dialogue, one must know how to lower the defenses, to open the doors of one’s home, and to offer warmth.” Pope Francis, On Heaven and Earth: Pope Francis on Faith, Family and the Church in the 21st Century.

According to Pope Frances this is what a good UBF leader should do:

1. Don’t make preconceived judgments and preemptive condemnations against those who disagree with you and challenge your decisions.
2. Listen from your heart and listen empathetically to those hurt by UBF.
3. Respect those who critique UBF.
4. Believe that those who critique UBF have something good to say.
5. Make room in your heart for those who bring up issues that you don’t like to hear.
6. Have a warm reception in your heart toward those who leave UBF, just as you will have a warm reception to your children if they leave UBF.

Can we have a genuine heart to heart dialogue in UBF?

There are plenty of places where we can worship freely. There are many churches in our town, and of course they would be thrilled to have new members (especially if you are willing to work hard and support them financially). But it’s hard to find a church that is truly home. It’s a huge adjustment to go from being a pastor of your own church where you ran things for 20 years to being just a new person who has walked in the door with no special status or title or responsibilities. That is a huge shock.

And some of the things we found problematic about ubf (for example, the ways that they approach Scripture, shallow understandings of the gospel, problematic methods of evangelism and discipleship, overbearing pastoral leadership) we also found in varying degrees in other evangelical churches. We have become extra-sensitive to these things (some would say extra critical) because of our experiences with ubf; we can see and smell certain problems from a mile away. And after getting burned by ubf leaders its just hard to learn to trust people again.

But this process has also been incredibly healthy and purifying. And it has really widened our understanding of what the true church is and where real Christians are to be found. We have found Jesus alive and at work in churches that we used to think were too formal, too ritualistic, too liberal, full of Sunday Christians / cultural Christians and so on. We have been challenged at every level to overcome our own pride, self importance, closed mindedness, prejudice and lack of love to see Jesus Christ living in every part of his diverse Body.

A huge shock. What most resonated with me is this: “It’s a huge adjustment to go from being a pastor of your own church where you ran things for 20 years to being just a new person who has walked in the door with no special status or title or responsibilities. That is a huge shock.”

One reason I couldn’t leave UBF. Even though I had seriously considered leaving, this sentiment so well expressed by Joe was one significant reason why it was just too painful for me to leave. For over a quarter of a century I had been a top leader in UBF: Chicago Board of Elders, fellowship leader of the largest fellowship at the Chicago UBF HQ, lay UBF staff, UIC leader, overseer of YDC (now the Well), and many throughout the UBF world knew me, or heard of my name, or heard of “how exemplary” I am, and how I am one of Samuel Lee’s most fruitful disciples. So to go from this to being a virtual nobody in a new church was just plain tough. I highly commend and respect Joe and countless others who have moved on from UBF after 10 to 20 to 30 years of devoted and dedicated service. Joe and many others did what I personally could not do. Of course, there were also many other reasons why I also felt very strongly compelled to stay in UBF “forever,” which I will not delve into here.

Horrible things some leaders say of those who leave UBF. I wish some of our older leaders would realize just how painful it is for anyone to leave UBF after investing decades of the prime of their lives to UBF. The things I have personally heard from some leaders commenting on people who leave UBF is downright sick and appalling. Yet, I can’t be too hard on them, because sadly and with much brokenness of heart, I said exact similar horrible things myself for over 20 years whenever someone left UBF.

Many who leave UBF did so after giving tens of thousands of $$ to UBF. I hope that the UBF hierarchy would share corporate sorrow over those who leave UBF, instead of speaking ill and speaking disparagingly and speaking nonsense of anyone who leaves. We speak of “shepherd heart” as though it is UBF’s second nature. I hope that all UBF leaders would have a “shepherd heart” for those like Joe and countless others. (I’m not saying that they need or want our sorrow and sympathy.) Yes, they may have moved on from UBF. But this was after years and decades of fully giving themselves and countless thousands and tens and hundreds of thousands in tithes to UBF, which surely contribute to our 13 million plus USD in savings and investments just in central UBF, not counting the hundreds of thousands if not millions more in local UBF chapters throughout the world. Please, please, please have a “shepherd heart” for those who have left UBF.

I personally share and feel the pain of almost everyone who has left UBF. I can feel their pain in their articles and comments whether it is on Facebook or UBFriends, as well as in emails and phone calls and face to face conversations.

A deeply rooted egocentricity. What causes a church to thrive is a culture of love. Speaking ill of those who leave UBF promotes anything but a culture of love. Not having a “shepherd heart” for those who move on from UBF exposes a deep ego driven selfishness whose primary concern is to show off to the world just how great UBF is (and how terrible are those who leave UBF). Even 2nd gens and children born in such an ego driven culture of five decades have been leaving for other churches.

Love one another, love your neighbor as yourself, love your enemy surely includes loving those who have left and moved on from UBF.

Will you share your pain of leaving UBF? To those still in UBF do you feel the pain of our brothers and sisters who have moved on from UBF? Or are you just upset that they left or that their public (and private) comments are upsetting and uncomfortable to you?

When I was 4 I asked my mother how I didn’t know I was living in a dream. She stood confused, contemplating the question herself. I don’t remember what her answer was, unfortunately. But this question has been asked several times throughout the ages. For me my eventual answer was “Dreaming feels different.” I want to use this to springboard to a related topic. How do you know you are brainwashed?

Dreaming is a lot like brainwashing. To be clear, when I say brainwashing- the term immediately implies that the idea trying to be pushed onto you is false. You cannot brainwash someone into believing Jesus is the son of man, you can brainwash him into thinking Jesus is man’s sun. The claim of brainwashing gets thrown back and forth a lot. I have heard ex UBF members tell me UBF will brainwash me, and I have heard UBF members tell me ex UBF members will brainwash me.
The problem with the brainwashing narrative is that it ignores that people can think. Dr. Ben can no more turn me away from UBF than he can tell me that the sun is pulled by chariots from dawn to dusk. I struggled a lot with this topic of brainwashing when I first read things from people. How do I know? I would say that it is easy to test if you are in a dream. Do something you cannot normally do. Many times when I have nightmares I wake up just enough so that I can change them. Suddenly I can do anything I want. If you think you are being brainwashed then my advice is to change something and see what happens. Do you think there are hidden rules? Break them, see what happens. If you can change the dream, it’s not a dream to you. Otherwise it might take a while to wake up. Cs Lewis remarks that we cannot fit the waking world into the dreaming world, but we can vice versa

“This is how I distinguish dreaming and waking. When I am awake I can, in some degree, account for and study my dream. The dragon that pursued me last night can be fitted into my waking world. I know that there are such things as dreams: I know that I had eaten an indigestible dinner: I know that a man of my reading might be expected to dream of dragons. But while in the nightmare I could not have fitted in my waking experience. The waking world is judged more real because it can thus contain the dreaming world: the dream world is judged less real because it cannot contain the waking one.”

Does your life fit into the church and its doctrines? Or does your church and its doctrines fit into your life? The distinction seems necessary.

A Duty to Pray for hurting parts of the Body

1 Corinthians 12 has been a huge part of my recovery from pain suffered while in the body of Christ. Paul’s words in chapter 12 came to mind again this week as I heard about some horrible abuses going on in a ubf chapter. We are one body in Christ. This sentence stands out to me: “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored,all rejoice together.” 1 Corinthians 12:26 ESV

If one chapter of a church is hurting, should not the entire church care about it? Should not we who are members of the Body pray for hurting people in the Body? This week, New York UBF is hurting. Please pray for them.

A Courageous Blog Post about Light

I recently pointed readers to a blog series that began expressing the pain and exposing the abuse at New York ubf. Here is that link. Like me in Toledo ubf, my friends in New York left the ministry and decided to “blog out” their pain and difficulties. The link is now gone.

Threats and More Pain

The chapter leaders at New York ubf have been pressuring my friends to shut down this ubfriends website. When the abuses came to light, my friends were additionally threatened with vague scare tactics such as “watch your family members lives” and other threats meant to instill fear and to silence their words. My friend removed his blog posts due to these threats.

Please pray for these friends and the New York UBF chapter. This incident exemplifies the “apologize for what” very well. I hope you can see that far more than an apology is needed. Repentance is required.

Oh and to any ubf leader who wants to make threats, make them to me. In the infamous words of Ben Toh, I can only say “Go ahead. Make my day.”

A succinct definition of spiritual abuse

“Spiritual abuse can occur when a leader uses his or her spiritual position to control or dominate another person. It often involves overriding the feelings and opinions of another, without regard to what will result in the other person’s state of living, emotions or spiritual well-being.”

A friend’s response. I posted What is Spiritual Abuse? on Facebook and received many interesting comments. Then I emailed a friend who has been in UBF for several decades to read and share what he thought of the article. I appreciated his prompt and honest response to me. So I asked him and he gave me permission to share it. Here it is:

Yes, I read it or rather skimmed it. Church abuse is an important issue. But as of now it’s not my focus. My logic is this: It would make no sense if the North Korean government pours its resources into the problem of obesity, because most people have no food to eat.

Similarly, western churches and American churches suffer from spiritual malnutrition; they are not being fed well spiritually or they refuse to be fed. Yes, the abuse of power and authority in American churches does exist like at Mars Hill and UBF. But it does not alarm me as much as a lack of zeal and a lack of spiritual power and spiritual authority to preach the gospel and to reach out to people for Christ—even while they make dumb mistakes like in UBF or Mars Hill.

Maybe it is just me. I may change in the future. Right now I don’t want to be involved in these issues of abuses in the church as much you may want me to–not because it’s not important but because my focus is on evangelism and discipleship, which I believe is far more important.

We all need each other. When we have an urgent task in front of us we cannot be picky about what instruments we use. We need people to work for the same cause of evangelism that God gave us all as Christians. We just have to work even with the second class or third class instruments like UBF.

While we try to fix the problem of spiritual abuse, we must be winsome in going about it. The leaders may not work with us on our terms but on theirs. But why does it  matter if we have to tackle the urgent common task of reaching people for Christ that is before us?

I hope you will understand me. But if you personally feel that you should deal with abuse issues in the church, go ahead. That’s your call.

Instead of responding to him, I thought that it may be better if others chimed in graciously.

On “the UBF side,” there are countless reports over five decades of just how wonderful UBF is and how much UBF missionaries gave up their beloved homeland and family in order to suffer and sacrifice endlessly for world campus mission sparing no cost. But the UBF side does not mention anything bad or any wrongdoing. They also usually have much anger, displeasure and a defensive and offensive posture whenever anything bad is brought up regarding UBF.

On the other side–“the side hurt or abused by UBF”–there are detailed explanations as to just how bad, dishonest, abusive, elitist, and/or controlling UBF has been throughout the world. But understandably they have difficulty mentioning the good of UBF because of having been lorded over for decades, oppressed and subjugated by the foreign missionary culture, gossiped about, caricatured, and spoken ill of by some UBF leader who often denies wrongdoing or claims misunderstandng or miscommunication if ever directly confronted.

Sadly, but understandably, both sides have had much difficulty to genuinely listen to and empathize with “the other side,” since both sides are often deeply hurt and also deeply entrenched on their own side. The hurt seems to come primarily from feeling betrayed (the UBF side) or feeling taken advantage of–often for decades (the other side).

Brian, however, in announcing his upcoming new ventures and adventures, thanks UBF for three things in his last post:

1. for 15,000+ hours of reading and sharing about the Bible,
2. for his wife, and
3. for UBF people being there for him when his dad passed away in 1989.

Bad. Those who have read UBFriends are likely familiar with “the bad of UBF” that has been written and commented on by numerous persons on numerous occasions from numerous countries and continents over the last four years. Notably the issues are primarily related to authoritarianism, spiritual abuse and control in the name of shepherding and “spiritual order,” lack of transparency, dishonesty (basically lying), unhealthy and oppressive dependent relationships, no accountability of leaders, “marriage by faith” used as a political tool to benefit one’s own ministry and to control and “train” singles (but not second gens of long-standing leaders and missionaries — according to some), etc.

Good. Yes, the bad is unpleasant to state and read, especially by the UBF side. What about the good of UBF? I have personally experienced them, which I know without a doubt is entirely the hand of God that choose to bless me through UBF, amid the bad.

My mystical conversion happened after I began 1:1 Bible study in 1980 with a missionary doctor in Chicago. I became a Christian after just 2 lessons of Genesis Bible study.

I married the best woman by being introduced to her by Samuel Lee 6 months after I began Bible study and joined UBF. I married her 4 months later. I know without a doubt that if not for UBF I would not be married.

A very happy UBF chapter. Though I never thought of being a preacher or starting a church, by God’s grace through a series of interesting events, God enabled me to be both a preacher and start a church in my fifth decade of life, which is quite unusual. I explained how West Loop UBF began in 2008. We became a very happy UBF church. This is a synopsis of our liberating West Loop experience from 2008 to 2014.

Oops. As I wrote this, I suddenly remembered that I had previously written something similar: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of UBF. Sorry for rehashing some similar points.

Is it hard to share both the good and bad of UBF? Is it easier to share either just the good or just the bad?

“Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter I do not regret it.”

2 Corinthians 7:8-10 “Even if i caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it- I see that my letter hurt you but only for a little while. Yet know I am happy not because you were made sorry but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regrets. But worldly sorrow brings death.”

KV “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regrets.” 2 Cor 7:10

When we think about suffering and sorrow many Christians shy away from the topic. Images of starving children and broken hearted widows abound. Today’s message is on the topic of suffering. I picked the topic because a wise man once told me that if a lay person is to give a sermon, it is best if they give the message exactly where they are in their walk with the Lord. So where am I at with the Lord? Yesterday Hope and I went ice skating. Afterwards she asked me how I saw the gospel in our ice skating. I told her “I let you fall because otherwise you would have never learned.” This is the first use of suffering, to allow a person to succeed they must be allowed to fall. We can see that in this way suffering is a prerequisite to the goodness of God. In his love he allows us to fall because otherwise we cannot move forward to Him. We are fallen, and we fell after God in his love gave man free will, a free will that was needed for love to have any meaning. So we find that suffering produces perseverance, so that we might love and be loved.

The second purpose of suffering is one parents are all too familiar with. A parent who has repeatedly warned a child will often say “Fine. Learn the hard way.” Suffering is when our heavenly father says “Fine. Learn the hard way.” God uses suffering to shatter that illusion that we like to create for ourselves. The illusion that says “I am sufficient without you God.” Of course “there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” (Pro 16:25) and a very wise and common rebuke by church elders is not to love the gifts of God more than God himself. Truly created things have kept me from God, yet if they had not been in Him they would have not been at all. Nevertheless our God hates idols. He destroys idols. Christ zealously destroys our idols, calls, shouts to us in our deafness. He shines with such radiance that even in our blindness we see him. Like the sun at noon all shadows fade. Suffering awakens us to the fact that any creation is inferior to its creator. The most beautiful masterpiece can never be called a child of God. I like to think of a poor man who made a beautiful masterpiece. Years after his death his art was remember and cast high in the opinion of mankind. But the man was a Christian, and so to God he was his child and the masterpiece nothing more than a passing thought. Moreover when we establish an idol over God he breaks that idol with suffering. “He who is exalted will be humbled, he who is humble will be exalted.” So sufferings come to good and bad men in the same way, but even though the suffering is the same the sufferer is different. The Godly are brought closer to God through their suffering. The worldly and wicked become more desperate. As the unholy see all their idols destroyed they become worse and worse. After putting all their stake in becoming educated they feel unfulfilled so they place their worth in finding an attractive spouse. When they find this does not fulfill them, they look for more money and on and forth. They keep trying to fill the spot in their heart that was made for the living God. Every time the idol fails to bring about fulfillment they feel sorrowful. In the end this sorrow leads to death. We find that suffering is like a hammer. It can be used to build up or teardown. Christ builds us up. Unlike idols he never fails. As Christ suffered our sufferings ought to become like His. As we become like him we take our place as sons and daughters of God. Indeed the son of God became the son of man so that the sons of men might become the sons of God. Amen. Admittedly, suffering doesn’t get a lot of praise. People liken suffering to death. Afterall, the wages of sin are death. But the cross turns death into a victory. In a sardonic turn of events we find that death leads to life, and as the passage today assures us that suffering ultimately leads to salvation. Salvation! That’s the gospel right there. How can you expect to be like Christ of you never carry a cross. How can you be like Christ if you never put the will of the Father before yourself? We consider that our present sufferings are not even worth comparing with the future glory of God. This is what was meant by verse “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regrets.”

Now that we have an understanding of what suffering is, why it exists, and how it’s relevant to the gospel; the next question is how any of this relates to us day to day. You may agree with all I have spoken- but might think it to be impractical musing. With the understanding that suffering is for our benefit we might now address how this should look in our lives. I admit that there is a difference between knowing a path and waking it, and that I often fail in what I am about to say. But I am convinced of its truth. The truth is this: Godly suffering is for the sake of others. Christ did not suffer for his own sake, but for the sake of everyone else. Abraham when be left everything behind suffered, but ultimately he blessed all nations. Mary suffered indignation and the possibility of death when she became pregnant as a virgin, but birthed a savior. Stephan was stoned for the truth, but his death led Paul to later become a powerful witness to the gentiles. Godly suffering is for the sake of others. As such sufferings should lead us to continually love our neighbor. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. We should strive to have a spirit of sacrifice even when we feel down and out. When you find yourself suffering under the stress of school or work, when you find yourself being persecuted by those who hate you because you will not conform to the pattern of this world, when you struggle with your spouse or co-worker. Never stop loving others. Never stop sacrificing for others. The Apostle John testifies that your sacrifice will not be in vain. “The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.” And what is the will of God? To love one other. Jesus says “A new command I give you: love…” As you love and suffer God will never leave you, he will never forsake you. Job testified admits his suffering “If only there were someone to arbitrate between us, to lay his hand upon us both, someone to remove God’s rod from me so that his terror would frighten me no more.” Unlike Job we now have Christ the Lamb of God, worthy. Let his light shine on us so that we might shine upon others. Let us suffer so that we might become like Christ. His grace transforms us. Redeems us. His love never leaves us. As the apostle says “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” When you struggle remember that Christ suffered more. He could have came down from cross. But he didn’t. So I am asking you, I am begging you, I commanding you: struggle until end, never giving up because Christ never gave up on us.

Brian keeps UBF honest. Forests reviewed Brian’s first book and says, “I encourage everyone to buy and read Brian’s book. It contains much more than I have mentioned. I recently spoke to a UBF missionary from Chicago who said that Brian is good for UBF because he ‘keeps us honest.’” (Book Review: Rest Unleashed.)

Be loving: It is godly and loving to read and hear Brian’s story. Brian’s story is really a part of UBF’s big story. Brian devoted 24 years of the prime of his life to UBF until he decided to leave in 2011. He was fully committed and fully invested in UBF from 1987 to 2011. Literally, he “gave his life for UBF” without hesitation or reservation from his teenage years, perhaps even more than some missionaries did. Without question, he is a man of heart, a man of loyalty, a man of commitment, a man of integrity, and a man of passion and energy, which likely all UBF leaders encourage UBFers to be. In my opinion, to stop listening to Brian just because he left UBF reflects rather poorly and badly on UBF. It suggests and implies that UBF only loves those in UBF but not those who left UBF. Clearly, God does not love only those in UBF. Surely, God also loves those who have left UBF. So, should we not be loving by listening to people like Brian? You cannot love someone if you refuse to listen to what they have to say and share. Brian has a lot to share and say in his life story, and like it or not UBF will always be a significant part of his life story.

Be humble: It is a sign of godly humility to listen to detractors and painful critique. It is likely also the best way to change and improve. If we only listen to those who flatter us and tell us how wonderful and good we are, we will not likely improve or make much progress as a human being, nor as a church. Countless books and lectures and sermons on leadership have been written about how bad organizations or churches only surround themselves with like-minded people or so-called “Yes men,” because they do not challenge them to change or to get out of the proverbial box. Thus, genuinely listening to those who tell us how terrible or just how suboptimal or cult-like we are is very good for the soul…and for the church. It is a sign of humility, perhaps the most valued and desired attribute mentioned repeatedly throughout the Bible (Num 12:3; Zeph 2:3; 3:12; Mt 5:3; 1 Pet 5:6). Humility (by listening to honest critiques) helps us to truly change from the inside out to be more and more like humble Jesus.

Be inclusive and broad-minded like God who accepts all kinds of people. Every church tends to accept a particular type of person. After over three decades in UBF since 1980, my observation and opinion is that UBF has mainly attracted those who would listen to leaders without disagreeing, questioning or challenging them. Brian was once a person who would never question anything coming from a UBF leader (including breaking and entering the home of James and Rebekah Kim in 1990). That was likely why he was fully embraced and accepted in UBF and even “allowed” to be a UBF chapter director in Detroit. But the moment he began to question certain unhealthy UBF practices, he has been labeled as being Satan and the devil and someone to be avoided and not listened to. This is truly very sad and unfortunate and narrow-minded. If UBF learns to embrace anyone who dares to openly and publicly critique us for wrongdoing, we will become more of an inclusive and broad-minded church. In other words, by listening and accepting people like Brian, we will become more and more like Jesus and less and less like exclusive elitist Christians.

Be biblical by not shutting others out. I’ve likely heard all the reasons to not listen to Brian’s story or to not read Brian’s books. But all the reasons are primarily to justify shutting Brian out of our UBF consciousness and conversation, which is not possible, if not foolish and unbiblical. I welcome people like Brian, because he is my friend and my brother in Christ. We also share a common history in UBF for several decades. Just because he left UBF or critiques UBF (and disagrees with me regarding certain things) makes no difference.

In my opinion, it is loving, humble, inclusive, broad-minded, godly and biblical to listen to Brian’s story.

Is there any reason to not listen to Brian? Should UBF read Brian’s books and listen to Brian’s 24 year story and journey in UBF?

Living with my head in the clouds. Last year I shared how West Loop (WL) UBF began in 2008. This is a follow up random, limited and selective reflection of our happy and eventful 6 year story and journey as a church. It mainly explains how my ideological perspectives changed. It is “heady” and not practical. As I’ve often told my wife, “Sorry that I live with my head in the clouds. Therefore, your feet has to be on the ground.” I hope this does not sound bad for her!

A theme for each year. For the last few years, as the primary preaching pastor, I loosely choose a particular theme for each year at WL:

• the year of the Gospel (1 Cor 15:1-4), a matter of prime importance.
• the year of Grace (Ac 20:24): Paul’s only aim was to testify to the gospel of God’s grace.
• the year of Sanctification (Phil 2:12b)–not by human effort but primarily by the grace of God (Phil 2:13);
• the year of the whole counsel of God (Ac 20:27), also translated as the whole will, plan, and purpose of God.
• the year of Remembrance (Dt 15:15a; 24:18; 8:2-3), to prompt us to love God (Dt 6:5) and to act and live accordingly (Dt 10:12-13; 30:19-20).
• For 2015: the year of Faith (Rom 1:17), knowing that it is only by grace that one comes to faith (Eph 2:8-9).

All these themes are rooted and grounded in the gospel–the only power for real authentic transformation and change that happens inside out (Rom 1:16). But Christians are often scared of grace, preferring instead to be punitive and retributive. We incline to giving and treating people as we think their sins deserve. We mistake grace for antinomianism, which was what Paul was accused of by the Bible legalists (Rom 6:1, 15). We think grace leads to lawlessness and licentiousness. This may happen. But withholding grace is never the solution. In fact, when grace is lacking, any church invariably becomes moralistic, legalistic, rigid and inflexible. Insufficient grace also inclines toward lacking the generosity, gentleness and graciousness toward others outside the church, and even in the church.

Changing how I taught Genesis. After teaching Genesis 100s of times for over a quarter of a century, I asked, What is the point of Genesis? Is it “live a life of mission”? Or “be a father of faith like Abraham”? Or “Marry by faith like Isaac and Rebekah”? I think not. It is by the grace of God that God chose our forefathers (and us), in spite of themselves. In 2011 I preached through most of Genesis by focusing on God’s limitless grace extended to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Joseph.

What did Jesus say the Scriptures are about? When I first noticed it, I was surprised to read that Jesus said that the OT Scriptures are about him (Jn 5:39, 46; Lk 24:27, 44). In Acts, both Peter and Paul said the same thing: the OT is about Jesus (Ac 10:43; 18:28). It impressed me that the Bible is NOT primarily a book about proper morals and proper religious behavior, but primarily about Jesus. As a result, I shifted my emphasis from imperatives (commands) to indicatives (grace), from “you love others” to “God loves you” (1 Jn 4:19), from “you live a life of mission” to “Jesus fulfilled his mission for you” (Jn 19:30). Only the latter, the gospel, leads to true transformation (2 Cor 3:18; 4:6). I think I have the support from both Martin Luther and Pope Francis!

Overcoming the iron law of paternalism, patriarchy and primogeniture. Sorry for these rather unfamiliar words. (Google each word.) But they are important because every culture, society and church naturally follows the unbreakable law of these “3 P’s.” Loosely, it means that you follow the chain of command and the norms of society (or the church), whereby the older and the senior is ALWAYS favored above the younger and the junior. But interestingly God’s grace does not follow such “human rules and traditions.” In fact, God, more often than not, breaks such unbreakable human rules and laws by choosing and extending favor to the younger over the older. For instance, in every case, God chose:

• Abel the younger instead of Cain the older.
• Isaac the younger instead of Ishmael the older.
• Jacob the younger instead of Esau the older.
• Joseph the 11th of Jacob’s sons, bypassing 10 older sons.
• Ephraim the younger son of Joseph instead of Manasseh the older son.
• Moses, the youngest one in his family.
• David, the youngest of the 8 sons of Jesse.
• Young fresh disciples (Mk 1:17), rather than old tired Pharisees and boring religious leaders.
• Young Timothy (1 Tim 4:12), rather than the older elders at Ephesus.

What does this mean and how does it apply practically? I needed to unlearn and re-learn what I had previously practiced by honoring and favoring younger people as much as I had honored older people. Under Samuel Lee’s 40 year leadership, everyone in UBF honored him more than everyone else. But by understanding how God does not follow man’s ways of paternalism, patriarchy and primogeniture, I made an intentional internal decision to honor and favor younger people, just as much as I had honored Lee for the last 22 years of his life in Chicago UBF. How would I do this? I encouraged everyone at West Loop to do whatever they wished, or to take any initiative, without asking my permission or first getting approval or clearance from me. Why? Because I trusted them as my expression of trusting God. Because I wish to respect and welcome their initiatives and creative ideas that are different (and better!) than mine.

No more fear of man. A few years ago Prov 29:25 literally changed the way I viewed, perceived and responded to people in authority. Just as I feared and honored Lee, I also feared every older person and leader in UBF. The practical result of this was that I lived before the person I feared, rather than living in the fear of God (Prov 1:7; 9:10). I lived to please the person I feared (Jn 5:43-44), rather than pleasing God (Jn 8:29). This was a miserable way to live. What a tremendous freedom and liberation it was to no longer live in the fear of any man!

No one should fear me or anyone else. Practically, I prayed that WL may be a safe place, where no one would fear me (or anyone else), just because I am an older longstanding leader in the church. If anyone feared me, they will act and pretend and not speak up openly and honestly, for fear of retaliation or repercussion from me. So I chose to welcome critiques from anyone regarding my words, decisions, actions, sermons and leadership. It is sometimes jarring and humbling when some young person says to me, “How can you say such a thing in your sermon!” But I thank God that our WL community is free and unafraid to speak up. One of my catchphrases is, “Please stab me in the front!”

He is IMPORTANT in the church

Why do such shocking things happen in the holy church of God? My contention is that our theology (Bible study) always informs our Christian life. As I am studying Romans slowly and deliberately, I am positing a grossly inadequate understanding of sin as to why sin continues to thrive even in the church and often dealt with rather poorly.

1, 3, 22 sermons. Several times over two decades in Chicago UBF, I studied Rom 1:18-3:20 in one sermon and/or Bible study. This year, I expanded it to three sermons at West Loop:  Gospel Suppression (1:18-2:5); Gospel Impartiality (2:6-29); Gospel Accusation (3:1-20). If you think this is a lot (by UBF standards), John Piper preached 20 sermons on these verses, and Martyn Lloyd-Jones preached 22 sermons on these 64 verses!

Unthankfulness. The point of the UBF message was that the root of sin is unthankfulness (Rom 1:21). Therefore, we should always be thankful (1 Th 5:18). Of course, this is true. I know, as we all do, that if we are not thankful for any reason, we immediately lose peace and joy in our hearts and souls.

Disgusting sinners. I also learned that in a world without God, sin simply escalates and causes people to go from bad to worse (Rom 1:18-32). Again, we all know that this is also true.

UBF’s emphasis is on Rom 1:18-32 which constituted the major bulk of the sermon, while Rom 2:1-3:20 was just touched on rather briefly with a significant portion regarded as supplemental study. It felt to me as though it was optional and therefore not that important. So I never studied Rom 2:1-3:20, since the UBF sermon and manuscript spent hardly any time or emphasis on it.

My wrong understanding is that these 64 verses were not all that important for two reasons. (1) It’s about sin and we can skim it quickly, so that we can talk more about Jesus. (2) We studied these 64 verses in one sermon and focused on unthankfulness based on the chosen key verse, Rom 1:21.

Missing Paul’s main point in the flow of his argument. What I realized when I studied these verses more extensively a few months ago was that I missed what Paul was really trying to say in these 64 verses. (It was not “don’t be unthankful!”) Yes, the sins of the Gentiles are horrible. They are irreligious and immoral, lawless and licentious, and often gross and grotesque. But Paul’s point is not how horrible Gentile sinners are, but that the Jews–who were religious, moral and law abiding–were just as bad, if not worse! If we are to do justice with Rom 1:18-3:20, a key verse that better reflects these 64 verses is Rom 3:9, rather than Rom 1:21. “Jew and Gentile alike” (Rom 3:9) can be understood as “Christian and non-Christian,” or “religious and irreligious,” or “moral and immoral,” or “Bible believing and Bible ignorant” being equally under the power of sin. Doesn’t this explain why horrible sin happens in the church and then is covered up as though somehow Christians (or certain people) get some kind of special free pass?

What is Paul’s emphasis? Of the 64 verses, Paul spent 15 verses on Gentile sinners (Rom 1:18-32) and 49 verses (Rom 2:1-3:20) on Jewish sinners–more than three times the amount! Conversely, if I remember correctly, the UBF manuscript used up 4-5 pages on 15 verses (the sins of irreligious Gentiles) and just a page plus on 49 verses (the sins of religious “Bible believing” Jews).

This was how Paul preached and taught the Bible. When Paul taught about the sins of the Gentiles to a Jewish crowd, he noticed how the religious Jews were fully agreeing with him: “Yeah, Paul, go sock it to those disgusting immoral godless wicked Gentile sinners!” Thus, Paul switched gears from Rom 2:1-3:20 and socked it to the very decent, well-dressed, well behaved and religious Bible believing Jewish sinners for 49 verses!

Why am I belaboring this? As stated above, our Bible study of sin in these verses affects our understanding of sin and sinners. If we emphasize the sins of the Gentiles and inadvertently de-emphasize the sins of the Jews, this will be how it is in the church. We think, speak and act as though certain sins are worse (immorality, promiscuity, drunkenness), while other sins are not that bad (gossip, slander, politics, vanity, defensiveness, offensiveness). We blast the sins of the immoral, while we basically go easy on the “better behaved” sins of certain people in the church. Does this adequately explain my first paragraph above?

Have you studied about the sins of the religious in Rom 2:1-3:20? Should the sins of “certain important people” in the church be dealt with differently than others?

From 1980 (when I became a Christian and joined Chicago UBF) to 2002 (when Lee died), I witnessed firsthand what Lee said and taught. For the last 22 years of his life I listened to Lee’s preaching in Chicago UBF, and heard his prayer topics and announcements every week. He would be the final word at the Mon fellowship leader’s meeting, the Tue elder’s meeting, the Fri student leader’s meeting, on Sat when we met for prayer for the Sunday worship service, and also on Sun after the sermon.

There have been many negative accounts about Lee (which are credible accounts from credible people). But there are also Lee’s positive teachings, which I regard as the gist of his primary teachings and main emphasis for 22 years under his leadership. Many might insist that he did not practice what he preached. Nonetheless, this is what he said and emphasized repeatedly for the last 22 years of his life.

Humility. Lee said emphatically that humility is the first attribute of leadership. He would be even far more dramatic by saying, “The first attribute of leadership is humility. The second attribute of leadership is humility. The third attribute of leadership is humility.” He said this and similar statements regarding humility countless times on countless occasions over the years. For certain, UBF might be a different church if we sincerely took to heart the utmost importance of humility.

Influence. Lee said, “The water upstream flows downstream.” He meant that what happens in UBF at the ground level happens primarily because of the leader’s influence. He said very often that we should not blame our sheep, but take personal responsibility. He clearly articulated a culture of influence and responsibility that comes from the integrity of the leader. People have shared how their leader told them, “Our UBF chapter is not growing because of you.” Lee would not have been happy with that leader.

Jesus only. Lee said that whatever we write and share in both sermons and testimonies, 90% should be about Jesus and 10% about ourselves. He never deviated from consistently saying this for as long as I’ve known him for 22 years. If we practiced sharing primarily about Jesus (and not ourselves or UBF), issues with elitism and nationalism would dissipate.

Compassion. With an almost consistent and predictable regularity, Lee would emphasize in countless creative ways the compassion of God and Jesus for sinners. He encouraged UBFers to have a “shepherd’s heart” for others. He stressed that we should love our sheep like our children; that we should love and care for lost sheep with the heart of Christ and with the heart of a father and a mother. This is virtually an unchanging constant in his sermons and announcements throughout the 22 years that I‘ve known him.

Many people have shared with me their observation that they are treated differently from the children of missionaries and older leaders. They say that they often do not force their own children to feed sheep, attend meetings, write testimonies, or marry by faith. Perhaps, if we love others the same way we love our children such complaints would disappear.

Brokenness. Lee expressed it best when he said, “If one’s leg is broken we can fix their broken leg. But when one’s heart is broken, what can we do?” Many are emphatic about Lee’s motivation of primarily desiring to establish leaders for UBF. Yes, he was driven to make disciples the way he believed he should, which I do not always agree with. But I remember him expressing his compassion for broken students from dysfunctional families with genuine and heartfelt compassion countless times. I never doubted that he loved and cared for certain broken people, who will likely be ignored and discarded by a pragmatic leader.

Love one person. Related to compassion and brokenness, Lee emphasized ad nauseam about genuinely loving one person. In an attempt to help a college student, he said in the midst of a very hectic international summer Bible conference (ISBC) preparation, “Helping one person is more important than the entire UBF ISBC.”

Many people have complained about how UBF is far more concerned about the viability, success and reputation of UBF than about the welfare and well being of individual people, who have felt used, trampled upon, disregarded, unappreciated and disrespected. People felt conditional love: They are accepted and loved only if they are fully committed to serve UBF. But should they decide to leave UBF, they felt that they never had a true friend in UBF who loved them for who they were, but only for what they could contribute to UBF. If we took to heart Lee’s teaching about genuinely loving one person, then even if that person left UBF, the love would remain.

There are other repeated emphasis in Lee’s teaching. But I’ll stop here with humility, influence, Jesus only, compassion, brokenness, and loving one person. Could these six attributes be suitable replacements for some of the current 8 to 12 legacies attributed to him over the past dozen years?

Then I became a leader. I learned to put God in the center of my thoughts and actions. I learned to reflect on myself based on God’s word. I learned to repent and come closer to God. I learned to value individuals and love their soul through prayer and Bible study.

However, I began to notice ugly things in me. Once I realized I was in a position of influence, a greed for power and control started growing inside of me. My original desire to purely spread God’s love was almost immediately tainted with my own ambition to amass large amounts of people and enjoy people’s recognition. I was also confused by my own inability to pray, my stubborn resistance to depend on God, inner criticism of those who were not as devoted as me, and resentment toward those who seemed to have it easier than me. In short, although I had been saved, I was very selfish and self-centered.
I was motivated no longer by love but by my greed and ambition which was countered only by despair and sense of failure. As I married and had children, I realized that although some parents may have been sincere in devoting themselves to God and trusting God to take care of their children, I realized that it could have been just as easy to use God’s work as an excuse to avoid the thankless job of raising children, cleaning up their mess, and feeding them day in and day out. How often I also wanted to run away and immerse myself in other activities if they were only available. Alas, as a small chapter, we didn’t have many programs or students. So I would try to escape in other ways instead. In the same way, some leaders could have also been sincere in their challenges and directions, but it could have also come from a desire for more power and control.

As much as I respected UBF ministry and members, there were things that bothered me too—the messages that did not speak to me, the way people were given direction without explanation or understanding of individual situations, the prejudice, the awkwardness. If we were a community that loved Jesus more than others, then I assumed we would love others as Jesus loved us. If we were a community with the joy of salvation, then people would naturally be attracted to us, join, and find the same joy that we have. The fruit of God’s salvation would be flowing down as God’s gift to us, encouraging and strengthening us. But instead, I saw fighting, complaining, competition, and people becoming enemies. It felt forced and difficult and draining.

Although I was firmly loyal to our group, I could not but look longingly at bigger ministries with good programs, talented speakers, and many members. Even in America, where it looked like the church was dying, we were seeing mega churches springing up, drawing large crowds of people and making a difference in people’s lives. Then people started leaving our ministry in droves, not quietly, but angrily, making quite a stir as they left. As I read their stories, my heart broke and shame entered in. I had made excuses before, but they weren’t working anymore. Especially when other churches were thriving and obviously doing much better than us, it seemed that we were obviously doing something wrong.
Then came the scandal with Mark Driscoll, which sounded similar to the scandals in our own ministry. Suddenly, I realized that our problem was not just our problem. It was not something I had to hide and feel ashamed of. It is quite simply, the curse of our human race.

From the beginning of time, ever since man decided to disobey God, people have been blaming each other for their problems in life and in the church. We blame the leader, the congregation, the programs, each other, and even ourselves.
We need change. People need to change and grow, otherwise we die. But change doesn’t come from telling somehow how to change. We experience a revelation and suddenly we are the expert on what needs to be done and how people should change. Congregation doesn’t change because the leader tells them what to do. The church doesn’t change because the congregation tells the leader what to do. Change comes from God and is continually motivated by the joy we experience from living in his will.

Change progresses by God’s sovereign time schedule, not by our will. God loves us more than anyone else. Only he knows our hearts and whether we are living in his will or not. In addition, he has infinite patience for us to turn our hearts to him. We do not have to do anything. God works and waits until we want to love him and love our neighbor with joy.
Likewise, God loves that other person more than you or anyone else. God has his own time schedule for that person. It may not coincide with our time schedule or even our lifetime, but it does not matter. We need to entrust that person in God’s hands, believing that God knows what he’s doing better than we do. There is no excuse for trying to change someone or getting upset when that person doesn’t change according to your time schedule.

At the same time, we need to acknowledge God as the creator and keeper of our lives. We need to accept everything that has happened to us, both good and bad, as from the hand of God. It is here we may discover inner anger toward a person or to God. It is sin that hurts us and causes us pain. But God is watching over us all and he shows no favoritism. His final judgment will be righteous and just. This gives us rest from trying to fix all the wrongs ourselves. It also compels us to live honestly before God rather than pretending to be ok.

God has also promised to make all things work for the good of those who love him. (Ro 8:28) God is working for us at all times whether it looks like it or not, whether it feels like it or not. It is our job not to fix the world but to thank God for the life he has given us and the blessings he has placed in our lives. It is our job to thank God even for the pain and difficulty because it is through them we grow closer to God. When we thank God in all circumstances, God often does mighty work in and around us which blesses and strengthens us. For example, this web page can be used as a vehicle for ranting or healing or provoking, but it is not the web page, but God who is working behind each and every situation to challenge us, change us, and help us. It is our job to receive what God wants to give us, to learn what he wants to teach us, to obey what he wants us to do. There is no excuse for not accepting everything from God, living before him, and trusting him.

Finally, we come to realize we are nothing but broken jars of clay. But God in his great mercy and love has chosen to shine his light through us through Jesus. We were nothing but we were made into heirs of his kingdom and co-heirs with Christ. It might be like we are each presidents of a small country. In light of that, there can be no hierarchy or status among believers. We must treat each other with respect as a co-heir of God’s salvation in Christ. At the same time, our minds and bodies are no longer our own. We are not slaves to sin, but ambassadors of God’s love and promise to the world. So there is no excuse for not loving, not accepting someone even if we don’t feel like it. There is no excuse not to be generous toward others or love them as Jesus loved us.

What we need is not more rules, practices, and traditions. We also don’t need more blame and outlines of how to change. We need to listen to God’s voice and stand before him alone. We need to listen to each other and love each other in Jesus. After, and only after, can we think of influencing another, and that would be only to help that person by our example, to learn to listen to God’s voice for himself and make his own decisions standing before God without expectation or condemnation.

This is the 11th week of Seminary. The academic challenge I am getting here is very restorative to my faith. There are two classes in particular that are changing the way I view life: Introduction to Theological Research and Hermeneutics (interpretation of the Bible). These are the two first classes for any seminary student.

Through these classes I am becoming aware of the pre-understandings and value assumptions present in me. Life is not black and white; it is a million shades of gray. For example, let’s take the issue of Gun Control. There is a conflict between the values of public safety versus freedom of choice. Both these ideas are good. It is good to be safe, but it is also good to be able to exercise your freedom. In the US obviously individual freedom is valued higher and hence its is relatively easy to get a gun. To make any decision you are comparing two or more values. It is important to be aware of those values and make sure that they are based on a trustworthy foundation.

Even in the Apologetics class I am taking I see the difficulty of simply conversing with those who have a different worldview because their idea of truth is different from mine. My professor defined worldview as the thing that affects every decision, thought, action, feeling, etc. all the while being completely undetected by us. Basically it is the lens through which we view the world; without it we simply cannot see. (*Note: one can call himself a Christian but that does not guarantee a correct worldview. Those who call themselves Christian can have a wrong view of God and scripture, i.e. Matthew 7:21)

Those with different worldviews are speaking different languages. For example, when a Christian and Muslim talk in English they can be understanding each other on a surface level but not on a deeper level. In Islam there is no questioning the Quran. Islam is about submission and obedience. Muslims are not allowed to question any grammatical mistakes in the Quran. Christians, however, can question, scrutinize and criticize the Bible and we must. We must question the basis of our faith, the scriptures. If you have the chance to learn Hebrew and Greek then please take it. (If you are only reading one translation of the Bible right now you really must invest into another translation. At least, have one formal and on functional translation of the Bible. The NIV is a functional translation.) Even the definite or indefinite article in “an angel” or “the angel” can have huge theological implications.

As Christians we understand that the motive of our faith is God. Our motive of faith is: 1) What God affirms is true. 2) God affirms the teachings of Scripture. 3) Therefore, the teachings of Scripture are true. The motives of credibility, however, are all the items of evidence that lead someone to believe that Scripture is God’s word, i.e., archaeological evidence, testimony of historians, instances of fulfilled prophecy, a sense of Scripture’s majesty and an acquaintance with Scripture’s power to transform lives (House 2011, 83). The motives of credibility change with time and more research. “They [motives of credibility] give rise to only to a human and fallible faith. One needs this human and fallible faith nevertheless to obtain the motive of faith, from which divine and infallible faith springs (House, 83).” We must go upstream and check our sources and question our Pastors. St. Paul praised the noble Bereans in Acts 17:11 because they examined scripture to make sure what Paul was saying was true. We also need to practice examining the scripture.

Ravi Zacharias has written about the Quran. He wrote, “Let us consider just one troublesome aspect, the grammatical flaws that have been demonstrated [in the Quran]. Ali Dashti, an Iranian author and a committed Muslim, commented that the errors in the Quran were so many that the grammatical rules had to be altered in order to fit the claim that the Quran was flawless. He gives numerous examples of these in his book, Twenty-three Years: The Life of the Prophet Mohammed. (The only precaution he took before publishing this book was to direct that it be published posthumously) (Rhodes 1995, 83).”

Ali Dashti wrote, “The Quran contains sentences which are incomplete and not fully intelligible without the aid of commentaries; foreign words, unfamiliar Arabic words, and words used with other than the normal meaning; adjectives and verbs inflected without observance of the concord of gender and number; illogical and ungrammatically applied pronouns which sometimes have no referant; and predicates which in rhymed passages are often remote from the subjects. These and other such aberrations in the language have given scope to critics who deny the Quran’s eloquence. . . To sum up, more than 100 Quranic aberrations from the normal rules and structure of Arabic have been noted (Rhodes, 83).

I am not saying don’t read the Quran. By all means read it (Christians should be educated about all religions.) I am saying don’t read it without questioning it. Don’t read the Bible without questioning it either.

The Bible has many different translations. Some gospels have different accounts and leave certain details out or add details. Sometimes the number of characters in the story is different. (These are all normal things. When there are eye witnesses questioned about an event; they remember different things.) But the authors left clues and places to go to to get more information. In Christianity, one can voice their doubts without the fear of being persecuted, hopefully.

While studying I have realized how little I know and how little anybody really knows. Even Biblical scholars are not completely sure of everything they write. But we always function on partial information. It is how we survive. The important thing is to keep asking questions, keep searching and examining. 1 Corinthians 13:12. “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

Do you question everything? Are there any questions that have been on your mind lately?

House, H. Wayne, and Dennis W. Jowers.Reasons for Our Hope. Nashville: B & H Pub. Group, 2011.

Rhodes, Ron. Reasoning from the Scriptures with the Muslims. Eugene, Or.: Harvest House, 2002.

I have only been in my current chapter for a little over a year now, but I feel like what happened last night was something, by accounts of many former and current long standing members that at the very least was very new. Instead of having a bible study, testimony sharing bible symposium my pastor decided that we should do something to minister to non-believers, or sceptics. This was a key idea in Stephan Lutz’s book that was required reading for UBF leaders recently. The idea that book, of which I cannot recall the name, is that if only minister to the churched we are not really fulfilling the great commission. As followers of Christ we must take the message to the places that need it the most and this includes hostile arenas. In my experience colleges offer the most hostile arenas for the modern evangelist. I can recall just two days ago a pastor coming to SIUE to preach on the quad. He was assaulted by an atheist after affirming that Levitical Law was the word of God (to be fair to all involved, his wording could have been a little bit better in light of Galatians…) I was very inspired by the change I saw in my pastor’s move for this. Here are some things of note.

An Unrestricted Forum

As a teacher I know well the danger that comes with an unrestricted forum. It can lead to some major issues. If we allow for all opinions, it is very easy to run into situations where people’s emotions get the best of them. It also allows for people to make themselves looks vulnerable (read: stupid). The bonus is it allows for some major change in people. The degree in which is can be bad is also the degree in which it can be good. I was under the impression that the conversation would be more of a panel style. This would allow for no possibility of the above problems. When I arrived I found that it was more of an open forum. I also discovered we had ran out of room. We had so many students that half the missionaries moved to the hall to make room.

The bible answer men

We looked hard to find an authority to host the forum. Some more prominent UBF leaders such as Dr. Ben Toh were invited but regrettably could not make it. I was selected by default because I had lived for 4 years with an atheist in college. My former roommate’s father also joined me. The pastor made the 3^rd but we still wanted a key note answer man. For this I invited Missionary Nirosh from Springfield UBF. He is fairly new to UBF in Springfield. Nirosh is quite a character. He is originally from Sri Lanka. He tried Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam and Rastafarianism before he came to Christianity. He has missioned in Papua New Guinea, India and Indonesia mostly dealing with tribal peoples. He is the most graceful man I know. In addition to runing a company that helps various groups improve their public image, he is also frequently called in when various Christian organizations need advice on changing their image. He was truly a God send. Nirosh is also the most graceful man I know and he delivers the message in Springfield UBF once a month.

Adam

Adam was the only actual atheist who was there. All the other students in attendance were Christian. I want to note two things from this. First I believe that many college Christians want answers to the challenges to Christianity. They don’t merely seek the basic gospel, for many growing up in church this has all been made known to them. Many college Christians fall away from faith because these lingering doubts grow and go unanswered. Adam had a list of questions to answer and instead of a panel style discussion it turned into Adam asking a list of questions he brought and the whole room answering him. I tried to directly answer him as best as I could. Nirosh’s answers would often times be so full of grace I felt as though they could not be possibly convincing but never the less this caused Adam to soften as the night went on. He was not so hostile by the end and I was thankful for his arrival. He was born and raised a Jew, so he actually had a very accurate knowledge of the Old Testament. Things became awkward when he said something that one of the missionary’s daughters took as an accusation. Her voice was calm but I could tell she was livid. He apologized and things moved along.

The Mormon

The last topic on the agenda was the exclusivity and sufficiency of Jesus Christ. Adam quickly asked which Christianity we meant and I said that we meant traditional Christianity as affirmed by the Nicene Creed. I paused and then said “We must also add the Anathansian Creed. It gives the doctrine of the trinity. The word “trinitas” appears nowhere in the New Testament. We will exclude other Christian groups who do not hold this such as Mormonism.” This caused a Mormon to become very upset with me. She said I had no right or authority to claim Mormonism was not Christianity and she had known Christ all her life. She said she was unsure of where I heard such a claim. I remarked as such “I may be wrong, but my source is Ravi Zacharias. He is a well-known theologian who actually spoke at the Mormon tabernacle some years ago.” My pastor then asked her about the trinity. I was upset but then something remarkable happened. Paul started speaking to her about how God was coeternal and that only the sacrifice of Jesus was needed for salvation. “No!” he nearly yelled when she objected “Only the sacrifice of Jesus is necessary.” This was in stark contrast to the Mormon version of things which says that Jesus is not atonement but actually an example. That we must follow the law. Nirosh turned to the Adam and said “This is why we don’t bring these things up.” Adam smiled. This woman and my pastor had a discussion on the faith vs works and the trinity with my pastor citing On the Incarnation of the Word to refute her. At some point Nirosh calmed things down by saying that while she may not believe in those aspects of Mormonism he had spoken with Mormons who denied that God was triune.

 
Conclusion
Overall I felt like the conference was a great success despite the awkwardness I felt at times. I am unsure I want to be the answer man again because it was very frightening to me at times. With my friends who are unbelievers I can speak easily, but to total strangers it requires a lot more confidence that felt lacking in me at times.

Gentle and kind

Boring and predictable. Many have stated that UBF tends to be boring and predictable in the way the Bible is taught and presented over the decades. I hope that UBFriends does not similarly become boring and predictable by unrelentingly blasting away against UBF.

Mission, mission, mission Vs. bashing, bashing, bashing. Many have said that virtually every UBF Bible study, sermon and postings on UBF websites is primarily mission, mission, mission. Such a repeated emphasis on mission cannot but overshadow or even obscure all the countless other (perhaps far more) important teachings of the Bible, such as the Trinity, reconciliation, unity, justice, equality, honesty, friendships, relationships, condescension (instead of being condescending), etc. Likewise, is UBFriends going to be primarily known as bashing, bashing, bashing, even though there are so many other excellent topics and themes that have been written?

While accusing UBF leaders of playing God, is UBFriends doing the same thing? Many have accused some UBF leaders and shepherds of acting and behaving as though they are the Holy Spirit, as though their knowledge and assessment of their sheep is perfect and correct. In the past they have made highly offensive and reprehensible statements like “selfish Americans,” “Polish pride,” “beggar mentality Filipinos,” etc. Obviously no American, Pole or Filipino likes this. Do we now do the same thing by slamming and bashing UBF?

God is omniscient, we are not. God’s (Jesus’) assessment and judgement of us is objective and correct, even perfect, because God sees and knows every heart perfectly. But our judgment of others, even when based on observable facts and evidences, has elements of subjectivity, bias and prejudices because we do not know the deep intricacy of the hearts of others, and not even our own hearts.

Endless proof-texting. We can quote endless verses about how Jesus blasted others, especially the crooked and malicious religious leaders. Others can also similarly quote countless verses about how Jesus was endlessly gentle, patient and kind toward the wicked (which is everyone). Quoting verses is perhaps a stalemate.

Gentle, meek, lowly, kind. Since I’m writing this, let me quote my preferred verses that I believe exemplify Christ. (Feel free to quote “opposite verses!”) “A gentle tongue can break a bone” (Prov 25:15, NIV). “A soft tongue will break a bone” (Prov 25:15, ESV). “Soft speech can break bones” (Prov 29:25, NLT). “Blessed are the gentle / the meek, for they shall inherit the earth” (Mt 5:5, NASB; Mt 5:5, ESV). “I am gentle and humble / lowly in heart” (Mt 11:29, NIV; Mt 11:29, ESV). “Love is patient, love is kind” (1 Cor 13:4).

Don’t stop speaking up. I am absolutely NOT saying that people should stop speaking up against authoritarianism, elitism, exclusivity, cultural imperialism, injustices, spiritual abuse and controlling others in the name of shepherding and discipleship, etc. In fact if you do not speak up when you hear or see something wrong, you are either indifferent or a wimp as a Christian. But for those who do speak up, is there a way to speak up online in a kinder and gentler way, and not predominantly with the predictable accusatory rhetoric and polemic attack of Mt 23:13-39?

What if UBF refuses to do any or all of the following? Be accountable? Genuinely apologize? Own up with contrition or take responsibility for spiritual abuse? Stop slandering and speaking ill of anyone who dares to critique UBF or who leaves UBF? Acknowledge that their shepherding, training methods and their implicit no dating and marriage by faith policies are unbiblical and controlling? Stop justifying itself by their (gospel of) good intentions (which excuses the abuse)? Then what?

Even if many are changing, some may never change. I personally believe that many are genuinely changing, albeit rather slowly, if not invisibly. But there is also a very distinct possibility that some others–perhaps in the absolute minority–who will never change. Then what? Do we thrash the whole orchard because of a few bad apples? Do we damage the whole field of wheat while trying to remove a few weeds? Do we wound and hurt the majority of “good” UBF people, just because we want to relentlessly call out the few “bad” people, who may never change no matter what is said or done?

At the end of the day is Jesus remembered for blasting sinners (which we all deserve without exception) or dying for sinners (which we do not deserve)? What is UBFriends, in her present state and form and emphasis, going to be remembered for?

Is it possible for UBFriends to be gentler, kinder, milder, meeker, more patient, more self-introspection, less accusatory, and not be a predominantly one message website of predictably bashing UBF as though our assessment and judgment of UBF is perfect like that of God’s?

This is from a SL worship service lecture.

“Today we are gathered here to remember Dr. Samuel Lee who was our teacher, shepherd, and most of all, a good soldier of Christ Jesus. It has been thirteen years since he entered the heavenly gate like a victorious general after fighting the good fight.  We miss him so much.”

>> Are you gathered to remember SL or to worship him? I can’t tell the difference. 13 years? SL died in a fire in Chicago in February 2002. That was 12 years ago.

“Today’s passage is Paul’s personal admonition to Timothy. These words are also fitting for us who serve Campus pioneering and world mission. I pray that we may renew our soldier spirit and be good soldiers of Christ Jesus.”

>> So you admit that you serve the mission. At least you are being clear. Your ministry places mission above people. You are willing to sacrifice people for the sake of mission. This does not sound like Christ who had compassion for people.

“Apostle Paul reminds Timothy of his spiritual identity as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. A Christian is a soldier whose commander is Jesus Christ.”

>> Ok so yes a solider is one metaphor used in the bible to describe Christians. Are there others?

“A Christian’s goal is to fight against his enemies and defeat them.”

>> Well no, that is the goal of a terrorist. The goal of Christians, according to the bible is to love. Christ won the victory already.

“Our battle is not against flesh and blood but against Satan.”

>> Ok yes that is correct. There is a battle. Our enemy is not people.

“We have to fight against our sinful desires to enjoy worldly pleasures and complacency. We also have to engage in the spiritual battle to rescue God’s flock from their sin and Satan. Moreover, we have to engage in the one to one battle to pioneer college campuses around the world, expanding his kingdom work.”

>> Wait, what? You just said our enemy is Satan, not people. Yet now my “self” is the enemy? Now the campus is a battlefield?

“Then, what kind of attitude should we have as good soldiers of Christ Jesus?”

>> Wow, what a loaded question, proof-texted by your own claims prior to asking the question!

“Paul says, “Join me in suffering.” It means first, to participate in Jesus’ suffering.  Jesus came to earth to live a life of suffering. Jesus prayed early in the morning, healed many people with all kinds of diseases, fed them and taught them until he  became like a root out of dry ground (Isa 53:2).  Finally, Jesus went to the cross at the age of 33.”

>> Yea, Jesus did those things. He also did a lot of other things that did not involve suffering. He made wine at a wedding. He ate grain from the field on Sunday. He slept in a boat during a storm. And many many other wonderful things.

“Jesus’ life itself was suffering. Paul also learned from Jesus and lived a life of suffering.  He was in prison, flogged severely and exposed to death many times.  Five times he received the forty lashes minus one. He was hungry and thirsty (2Cor 11:23-27). But he confessed in Romans 8:18, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Our suffering secures a crown of righteousness and glory. Therefore, soldiers of Jesus Christ should not be afraid of suffering but enjoy it with joy.”

>> Now you are binding our minds incorrectly and unnecessarily to suffering using the bible as glue. We should not be afraid of suffering, correct. But life does not equal suffering only. That is more of an Eastern philosophical value proof-texted with bible verses. Jesus came to give us life to the full.

“Second, “Join me in suffering” means you will receive training.”

>> WTF? Oh yeah, you must mean the ubf six stage training.

“A good soldier matches his training.  Whether you are a good soldier or not largely depends on the degree of the training you receive, not on human conditions.  In order to become a foot soldier, you will receive 6 weeks of basic training. But in order to become an officer, you have to receive 4 months of officer training.  In the case when you want to become a special force soldier, you will receive unbearable training. One example of survival training is where you are left alone on a mountain with only a knife and map to survive by eating snakes and rats.  Through receiving this special training, soldiers can survive in any circumstances and carry on any given mission.”

>> So now we are in la-la land. What are you talking about?

“Since we regard UBF as a spiritual academy, we use many military-related words such as “training,” “battle,” and “conquer.” We have received many types of spiritual training such as “Daily Bread training,” “message training,” “testimony writing training,” “Skokie training,” or “one to one training.” Dr. Lee called himself, “army sergeant” who raised spiritual generals, and trained many shepherds. Through this training in the early days of UBF, many UBF staff shepherds and senior missionaries were raised. Dr. Lee wore army clothes with a beret on his head and rode a Jeep because he considered himself a field commander in the front line of world mission. We must inherit this soldier spirit to love training and suffering in order to send 100,000 missionaries to 233 nations.”

>> Thank you. This is the best documentation of KOPHAN theology I’ve come across. At least you are bold enough to document it.

“Unfortunately, when God blessed South Korea abundantly, she began to have a spiritual crisis of materialism, hedonism, and complacency. The Christian population has now dropped from 12 million to 8.5 million. It is hard to meet one sheep and raise him as a disciple and so Korea UBF is seeing a constant drop in student Sunday worshipers. However, I have hope when I see God’s work done through a small number of trained soldiers who have soldier spirit both in South Korea and around the world.”

>> So how did we get to South Korea so quickly? Clearly you are on your own soapbox and not teaching us about the bible or Christianity. Your words sound like a certain group in Germany a few decades ago.

“There are many shepherds in UBF who are on fire about God and feed 15 to 20 one to ones per week. They are called one to one zealots. There is a shepherdess in Kwan-Ak chapter III.  It seems to be impossible to fish SNU medical students because they study all the time.  So she went fishing at 11PM when the medical school library closed.  In this way, several ancestors of faith were raised and now 40 families were established in Kwan-Ak chapter III.  Around her, there are many women coworkers who are one to one zealots, and every day they engage in united prayer and go out fishing, and in this way they invite 50 freshmen each year. Among them, 12 future leadership candidates are chosen to have common life. As a result, the number in Sunday worship grows constantly. Among 130 worship attendants, 80 of them are students. While the student attendants in most Korean UBF chapters are decreasing, Kwan-Ak chapter 3 is ever growing.”

>> Yes, thank you for admitting the problem: zealots. Way to heap guilt upon the heads of all your fellow ubfers.

“There are many one to one zealots in El Camino UBF.  I heard that they had 320 one to ones last week.  I think we should all be greatly challenged by that.  I pray that we may also learn their one to one zealot spirit so that we may overcome this stagnant time of ministry and revive it.”

>> Well, perhaps you should visit El Camino UBF and see what they are really doing…From what I can tell they have rejected a lot of SL’s teachings and are practicing Christianity. Maybe that is why they are now attracting people?

“I was called as a Gwang-ju staff shepherd just after accepting Christ 2 years and 10 months earlier.  But at that time I was not mature enough. Thus, God trained me severely.  Dr. Lee tried to help my marriage problem and brought a shepherdess from Seoul all the way to Gwangju upon my agreement. But my heart turned cold and I refused to marry her.  Another time, I came back from Jun-ju after successfully passing my ministry onto the successor. Dr. Lee told me that I would work in the daily bread department as an office worker since I lacked the intelligence to become a staff shepherd but had the faithfulness to be a good office worker. At that time, I was very confident as a staff shepherd since I was successful in Jun-ju ministry growing the number from 80 to 130. Upon hearing his words, my pride was hurt and I became upset. So I told him, “I was not called as an office worker but as a staff shepherd.”  As a result, I had to bounce a volley ball to the ground for three hours in the staff conference.”

>> Wow you are really good at praising yourself. And you admit you have endured such abuse. Your self-glory statements go on and on in the next paragraph. In fact this whole thing seems like you are trying to justify the abuse done to you…

“Among the sacrificial shepherds, S. Ok-ki Lee was an intern shepherd. He was the first UBF 1:1 zealot, who did 25-30 one to ones per week.  He then was scouted by Dr. Lee and sent to Jong-ro center as an intern shepherd under S. Maria Ahn.  S. John Park, staff shepherd of Gwang-ju 2 came to center from his freshman year. He received a full 4 year scholarship to Cho-sun law school and is a gifted scholar and a servant of God’s Word.  His chapter has 110 Sunday attendants. Dr. David Park is the layman staff shepherd who serves Gwangju III focusing on Chodae medical and dental schools. He has raised numerous medical doctor shepherds, including three professor shepherds in Chodae medical school and six medical missionaries. People used to call Chodae hospital, “UBF hospital.” They have 120 Sunday attendants.”

>> Nice. More guilt-trips for your audience.

“…I give my praise, thanks and glory to God who saved this sinner, and who called and trained me to be a useful servant of God.”

>> Was it God who trained you? Or SL?

“Let us renew our soldier spirit as good soldiers of Christ Jesus and love training and suffering to become strong warriors of faith.  In this way, I pray that we may recover our passion for one to one Bible studies and carry on our mission to send out 100,000 missionaries to 233 nations. Let’s read verse 3 together. “Join me in suffering like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.”

>> Maybe you should recover your passion for Christianity and Jesus instead? Maybe you might one day view people as more than a means to preserving your heritage?

So maybe one day ubfers will give up this SL praising and worshiping. Their latest report tells me that God cursed the latest SL worship.

92 Comments

I posted the following to an online discussion area.

“Ok so I’ve been condemned to hell. Again. Apparently I’m on the broad road of unhappiness. It’s been 3 years since I left evangelicalism behind… I’ve never been happier but how do you cope with the continual condemnation remarks?”

I did not know what to expect. What happened was eye-opening. Within hours, nearly 50 people liked my post. And 92 comments ensued rapidly. Apparently quite a few people can relate to being told we are on the “road to eternal unhappiness” (those were the exact words written to me earlier this week, words that prompted my post above).

Ignore them

What was the most common response to my question? Ignore them. It was highly cathartic for me to see a swift response to my thoughts. Yet I was stunned to learn that a lot of people are just ignoring the Evangelical/Conservative Christian rendering of the gospel. People are no longer motivated by fear–even the fear of hell. People are not persuaded by moralism. People are looking for much more than obedience to a prescribed religious system. They seem to want relationship. (Yes that was your broad-sweeping over-generalized statement of the day…)

Becoming a pagan Christ-follower

It’s becoming quite clear that I am not a church person. In light of the Evangelical/Conservative Christian rendering of the gospel, I am becoming a pagan. And yet I know Christ lives in me. I have never understood Scripture more comprehensively. I have never been so peaceful and content in my inner being. I never tire of explaining, expounding and examining the amazing, all-surpassing, effervescent, joyful new wine gospel found in the bible. And yet I am outside the gates of the church.

Because I spent so much time in community, I am compelled to take some years to detox and learn how to live alone before returning to a community. I find that the online, virtual communities such as ubfriends and outlaw preachers, helps me in my journey. I am reminded of Bonhoeffer’s words today. In his book, “Life Together” in the chapter entitled “The Day Alone”, pg 83, Bonhoeffer wrote:

“We recognize, then, that only as we stand within the community can we be alone, and only those who are alone can live in the community. Both belong together. Only in the community do we learn to be properly alone; and only in being alone do we learn to live properly in the community. It is not as if one preceded the other; rather both begin at the same time, namely, with the call of Jesus Christ.”

Are people ignoring your gospel? Are you able to live alone with yourself? Do you have a community, either virtual or real-life, to express yourself? How does your community help you and assist in your life? What ways have you noticed people outside the church reacting to the church teachings?

After becoming a Christian in 1980 I became certain and convinced by the work of the Holy Spirit that living for Jesus is the only worthwhile reason to live (Jn 10:10b; 20:31). Only by God’s mercy and grace, this is still as true for me today as it was when I experienced my mystical conversion in 1980.

But along with this glorious, mystical, loving, gracious, mysterious certainty of Christ, I realize that I also added “other certainties,” which were basically non-negotiable to me, such as:

• One to one Bible study is the best way of discipleship.
• You must always answer the Bible study questions before meeting for Bible study…and prepare a Bible study binder.
• Writing testimonies weekly is the best way to grow as a Christian.
• Marrying by faith is the way to marry.
• Everyone should be a one to one Bible teacher and teach the Bible.
• You must never ever miss Sun worship service for any reason unless you’re dying or moribund or for four weeks for a mother after delivering a baby, but NOT for the father.
• You must never miss your weekly church meetings.
• You better never miss any church conferences, even if you have to go into debt by paying for the travel expenses and conference fee.
• You must always defer to and agree with your senior and your leader, even though they are clearly wrong.
• You must not disagree with, object to, or challenge your leader, because God appointed them and not you to be the leader.
• If your Christian leader does not bless you, God will not bless you.
• God’s blessing on your life invariably and necessarily comes through your leader and your church.
• UBF is the best church in the world.
• Caucasian Bible students are the best, while others are dispensable. Sorry for having to make such a racially offensive and disgusting statement, because it was sadly true of me then.
• Any Christian or church who does things differently from me or my church is really compromising, inferior, suboptimal, nominal, culturally contaminated, sad and pitiful.

Of course, I developed these absolute certainties because my church communicated these certainties, either implicitly or even explicitly at times. These are not necessarily all bad or wrong, though some clearly are unbiblical. I’m sure you can identify which.

The problem with these certainties other than Christ and the gospel is that I became arrogant and condescending toward anyone who did not value and treasure MY certainties. I was also known by others–such as my family–for these other certainties, as though Christ is like that, when clearly Jesus is never ever so rigid, narrow, inflexible and intolerant of anyone who is not like ME!

Today, Christ remains my single certainty. But the others are not longer certainties to me.

• I enjoy group BIble studies, which I think are far more interesting and illuminating.
• People can come for Bible studies prepared or completely unprepared.
• They can share written testimonies, or oral extemporaneous testimonies, or not share at all.
• No church meeting or church conference is mandatory.
• Come if you want to, not because you have to.
• Learn to make decisions on your own before God and not think that you need the mediator of another person, since Christ is the only mediator (1 Tim 2:5).
• Overcome unhealthy dependency on another person, as though your blessing comes primarily from a human being rather than from God.
• Sorry to blow burst anyone’s bubble, but UBF is NOT the best church in the world. Nonetheless, I love this church, because ultimately it is Christ’s bride and He is my bridegroom.

What are your certainties? Have you dispensed of any unnecessary certainties that you once held dear?

Suggestions for the Committee

First, that the UBF Ethics Committee should officially announce a policy that we are allowed to read material even if part of it is critical of UBF. 

Generally speaking organizations that are cults forbid people from reading material that criticizes their group and organizations that are not cults do not make such a prohibition.  Allowing people to read such material as an official policy would suggest to the public that UBF is not a cult.  And if UBF wants to improve, members should be willing to listen to criticism so they know areas that they should improve in. How can someone be serious about making reform when they will not listen to suggestions for how to reform?

Second, that UBF Ethics Committee should officially reject the “pastor’s permission” policy.

I heard that the Ethics Committee was considering ethics based on a document labeled “Code of Ethics for Pastors by the National Association of Evangelicals” Although there are many good points in that document, I disagree with one statement, “Do not recruit parishioners from a previous church without permission from the pastor. Avoid interfering in the ministry of a previous congregation.”

If I understand that statement correctly we should not recruit Jehovah Witnesses without their pastors permission

If we refuse to recruit Jehovah Witnesses without permission from the Pastor we are doing them a disfavor. Jehovah Witnesses are taught to be afraid to read information critical of their group. They are stuck in their group and afraid to leave even though that means they have to refuse blood-transfusions in order to stay in their group, which may cost them or their children their lives.  Refusing to share critical information with someone or recruit them because you do not have their Pastor’s permission can be cruelty in such cases.

Will they take me seriously?

I hope the ethics committee will take these suggestions seriously.  Although I do not know if they still are looking into that code of ethics or if that is old.

If UBF takes my suggestions seriously, then there will be an easy way to contact UBF for ethics suggestions listed on the website in an easy to find place. And UBF will officially announce a policy, in an easy to find place, that we can read material critical of UBF without sinning and that we should not be punished by those in higher authority positions for such an action.

And finally, if UBF listens to me, they will unadopt or will not adopt any policy of not recruiting from outside organizations without a pastors permission. I think UBF should not make policies just so they get endorsements from groups like NAE. Instead, UBF ought to decide their policies on their own merit independent of peer pressure to get endorsements from organizations.

Come Into the Light

Several elders and pastors wrote a letter to Mars Hill church entitled “Concerns and Critical Information for the Elders of Mars Hill Church”. Theirs words struck a deep chord with me. Do we love the light? Are we willing to bring our church into the light? If there is any best way to describe one thing I want from UBF leadership, one way to summarize the thousands of emails and hundreds of blog articles I wrote the past 3 years, it would be this. Come into the light.

“Where there is nothing to hide, there is no fear of being exposed. But, rather than seeking clarity, we have cloaked ourselves in non-disclosure agreements. We have become masters of spin in how we communicate the transition of a high volume of people off staff. We have taken refuge behind official statements that might not technically be lies on the surface, but in truth are deeply misleading.

At the retreat this week, Pastor Dave spoke about our church’s credibility problem. Brothers, this credibility problem is directly linked to the fact that we have not loved the light.This is not the fault of one person, or even a just a small group of people. We all share in responsibility for this in one way or another, and we must all repent of it together, together calling for our church to step into the light.” (source)

Ethics Committee Contact Details?

Last week someone contacted me asking about the UBF Ethics and Accountability committee. They asked to remain anonymous for this person feared retaliation for asking about the committee, based on their experience in approaching UBF leaders. This person may submit an article with their suggestions for the committee, but for now I will just share some quotes sent to me. These quotes show me that as of 2014, UBF leadership still has qualms about the light, just like the Mars Hill leadership.

“I wanted to contact UBF Ethics committee but I could not easily find their contact information at ubf.org. If they are serious about making ethical reform they should make it easy to post suggestions for ethical reform in a way easily explained in the website via some form of contact listed on the website.”

I have to wonder the same thing. How ethical is it to not make the Ethics committee contact information available freely and publicly? The perception (and likely reality) is that UBF leadership wants to control who contacts the committee and what gets reported to the committee, thereby rendering the committee irrelevant. Am I right? I hope I am wrong.

What will be said of us?

Of course, John 3:18-20 comes to mind immediately. Will it be said that we loved the light? If there is nothing to hide, why don’t UBF leaders and members come into the light? In this internet age, there is really no place to hide. Publishing nostalgic hagiographies, traveling the world to do private “Continuous Missionary Education” and adding bureaucratic layers onto the ministry doesn’t do much to bring UBF ministry into the light. We all see you, by the way. There is no place to hide.

So no, I do not hate Koreans. I love kimchee! I do not consider Korean culture to be the main issue facing UBF ministry. I deeply respect the disciplined nature of many Koreans I have met, in UBF and out of UBF. But what do I want? I want UBF people to come into the light! Will you join me in the light? Will you discuss UBF ministry here on ubfriends, openly, freely and honestly? This won’t be easy. It won’t be “safe”. It will be like walking on the water. It will feel very uncomfortable. It will be messy. It may get ugly. But I stake my life on this, when we love the light, it will be glorious.

I. Pre­-Conversion

I think that every human being would seek God, if his conscience has not been seared as with a hot iron (1 Tim 4:2). God made us from one man. God made us to seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him because he is not far from each one of us, for in him we live and move and have our being. We are God’s offspring  (Ac 17:26-28). I am a man who is a wretch (Rom 7:24). (I could write ten pages to describe in detail what a wretch I am, but I think it is better to keep it between me and God, because he knows my heart. But if someone is interested we could discuss it).

Though I am wretch, yet I am a man who has the consciousness to seek God. I was a Buddhist. True Buddhists never worship Buddha, but they treat him as a wise man, as he told us.  It took me a very long time–in the first year after I converted to Christianity–to figure out why Buddhism has so much similarities to Christianity. It confused me for quite a long time. But what I am very sure about is the reason why Buddhism was so attractive to me and why it made me more motivated to seek God. The reason is that I saw a glimpse of God’s glory through Buddha’s teaching. But my heart could not be filled. I was not being loved. I felt as though I was still an orphan in the universe. But that glimpse of God’s glory opened my heart to Jesus. He is the son of Man, and the Son of God, whom I wish to marry today during my baptism.

II. Conversion

Rather than say it is my conversion, I would say how I came to know more about God. I believe there is only one true God. My favorite song is “You raise me up,“ even when I was a Buddhist. Strange, huh? But it is true. I am influenced quite a lot by a prestigious monk in China. He even teaches the Rosary, which is a form of prayer used in the Catholic Church. I believe God is everywhere, and he led me even though I was not a Christian.

I thank God that God brought me to Chicago. God brought me to UICCCF, the Chinese Christian fellowship at UIC. And I thank every servant of God servant in the fellowship. I made a confession to Jesus in this fellowship. I have come to know more about God during Bible reading, praying with brothers and sisters, through fellowship, through every life influence and life experience, and through the miracle that God has done in my heart and life.

Then I found a lovely church – West Loop Church. The diversity of this church shows God’s glory. We have more than 12 different nationalities, ethnicities or backgrounds. It truly shows that God’s love, God’s grace and the gospel is universal.

Thanks to Dr. Ben and Rhoel and Hannah. We have had lots of Bible studies and meetings. I really enjoyed and benefited a lot from all that I learned in our conversations. Whenever I was worried about something and really wanted to know how God’s will would lead me, I could talk to them. And every such conversation and prayer makes me know more about God. God gives us the church. God wants to let “life influence life,” and as a young Christian, I am influenced a lot by them.

III. Dreams and Goals in Christ

My dreams and goals in Christ are to pray to God that God could use me to be his loyal servant with a firm faith and that I could be an influential person on the campus. I pray to be the blessing to others, and to be respected even by atheists. I pray to be a witness of Jesus Christ to everyone who knows me.

I thank God for all things, for every verse, every song, every prayer, every friend, every hardship and every manna that God gives me and touches me with. I am your son. Please make me holy and be the noble prince that you created me to be.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost but now I am found

Was blind but now I see.

I am ready, and please baptize me. Amen!

The big news in Christendom today. Acts 29, a national church planting group with 500 churches cofounded by Mark Driscoll, has removed Driscoll, the senior pastor at Mars Hill Church in Seattle and the church from membership, with seven board members urging in a letter that Driscoll “step down” from ministry and “seek help.” The letter is here.

5,000 church members in 8 years. In the mid-1990s, at age 25 Driscoll started a church in his house in Seattle with a dozen people. In 8 years, his church grew to 5,000 members when he was only 33 years old. Today, his network of five local churches boasts 18,000 members. He founded Acts 29, a church planting network that grew to 500 churches, and a Bible seminary. He is said to read one book a day. His sermons are downloaded millions of times by Christians throughout the English speaking world. He has authored many Christian books, including the popular and controversial Real Marriage. He is famous throughout the world with invitations to preach and teach in churches from many countries.

How did Driscoll influence me? Once at a Gospel Coalition conference, I heard Driscoll preach a 40 point sermon. I didn’t like the sermon (it had too many points and I don’t remember what he said!), but I was impressed. Since then, I decided to preach extemporaneously, rather than preach from reading off a typed prepared manuscript, which I did for decades. It was not easy for me to learn new tricks in my 50s. But through Driscoll, Tim Keller and others who preach without notes, I was inspired to give extemporaneous preaching a shot. I guess I can be proud of myself in that I could be regarded as having a “humble learning mind.”

Would Driscoll be a good sheep in UBF? I also thought that if Driscoll, as brilliant, gifted and energetic as he was, was fished by UBF, he likely would have left, since he would not allow himself to be subject to the “discipleship training” of UBF. He is far too creative and fired up to follow some kind of scripted Christian program of being taught the Bible one on one week after week, or going fishing, or early morning daily bread, or weekly prayer meetings and testimony writing, or receive “message training” and the like. So, Driscoll would likely be regarded by UBF as a “very proud and rebellious no-good” sheep because he refuses to receive humbleness training and “just obey.” I don’t think he would “marry by faith” either.

No accountability. What happened to Driscoll? Lord Acton’s famous quote comes to mind: Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Countless reports online over the years have accused Driscoll of authoritarian abuse, of centering virtually all power to himself, and surrounding himself with elders who will unconditionally support him and not question his authority, disagree with him, or challenge him. He also removed and dismissed several elders who would not agree with him. As his church and influence grew, so did his refusal to be truly accountable to others, even when he said that he would. My contention has been that every Christian, including every Christian leader regardless of their tenure, status and fruitfulness, absolutely needs to be accountable to others. Driscoll’s removal from Acts 29 reveals that he has refused to be accountable to others. Basically, he has called the shots throughout his ministry, as this short video/audio clip suggests.

The internet is not going away. Even just a few decades ago, Driscoll might have gotten away with his authoritarianism and abuse of his power. But today, with the advent and explosion of cyberspace, almost any news can become a major news story almost instantaneously. Yes, some Christian leaders simply loathe the fact that anyone’s dirty laundry can be aired publicly for all to see and read. Nonetheless, this is the reality that is not going to change until Jesus comes again. I often think that the internet is fulfilling Jesus’ promise that “what you have whispered behind closed doors will be shouted from the housetops for all to hear!” (Lk 12:3, NLT)

Regardless of his many inappropriate off-handed comments and authoritarian abuse, I generally like Mark Driscoll’s fire, energy, spirit and passion for Christ and the proclamation of the gospel. Yet, it seems that he allowed his fame, popularity, gifting from God, influence and power to get to his head in some way. Satan is crafty. May God grant him this time to come to Jesus newly and find new life in him.

Thoughts and reflections? Can we apply any of this to UBF?

Sense of Smell

Because of the “aroma of Christ” comment in this section, N.T. begins with describing the importance of smell to the ancient faith systems. Imagine the smell of the sacrifices, the incense, and the temple. All those smells conjured up divine thoughts to the ancients. To them, knowledge had a smell. Today we might call this the “smell test”.

The opening question, then, is this: What smell brings back the most vibrant and clear memories for you?

I find that considering the sense of smell enriches my study of the Holy Scriptures. As I sift through my memories, looking through the smell of kimchee, I recall the smell of the Catholic church on Sunday. Every Sunday as a child I remember the smell of the cool entrance, almost a holy water smell. The smell of lingering candles and incense all remind me of God.

Study notes

The study again has 12 questions. This time the questions are more like paragraphs, which contain notes about the text. Although I would rather just think about questions, I see that Wright’s comments are not distracting. Instead, he gives comments that are contextual in nature. I don’t see any particular theology or loaded questions, so I am able to continue to trust the study.

Punishment and Forgiveness

In 2 Corinthians 2:1-11, Paul expresses what he calls great distress and anguish of heart. He had previously instructed the church there to discipline one member who had taken his father’s wife. Perhaps Paul is expressing anguish over that event, or perhaps other events as well. In any case, he teaches something of great importance and relevance: the path to forgiveness includes church discipline.

“If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.” 2 Corinthians 2:5-8

The life of a faith community is closely bound up together. A healthy faith community not only has the courage to deal with sin, but also has a willingness to forgive in both the right sequence and the right balance. Punishment and forgiveness are important dynamics to ponder. Does your faith community take church discipline seriously? If so, do they also take forgiveness and restoration seriously? How can Christ-followers talk about forgiveness but skip the discipline part?

Captives in Christ’s Triumphal Procession

Wright reminds us that the ancient world was familiar with the image of a king’s victory procession. During such a procession, a king who had won a notable military victory would parade the prisoners they had captured and display their plunder in a glorious celebration. The prisoners would later be executed. So then what was Paul communicating in 2 Corinthians 2:12-17? Why are Christians presented as the prisoners in the imagery?

This line of thought opened my eyes to see this section of the text in a whole new light. I’ve heard these verses quoted a lot. But it never occurred to me that we are the captives! I only thought about the aroma of Christ and the great victory. But perhaps Paul was communicating a sober reminder to all Christ-followers: You are the prisoners who will be executed. But as captives of Christ, we have much hope and even our execution can be an aroma that brings life. Perhaps a faith community should remember this vivid image of Christ as the king as we live out the discipline and forgiveness paradigm.

Letters of recommendation?

In chapter 3, Paul’s thoughts again turn toward the legitimacy of his ministry.

“Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you? You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”

Here is a sobering thought: the only letter of recommendation that counts for your faith community is the human hearts you have impacted. The result of your ministry is shown by what kind of people are raised up among you. Does your faith community seek out letters of recommendation? What kind of people are being developed among you? When the world reads the human hearts of your faith community, what do they read? Is your faith community focused on the letter of the law or the spirit of the law?

Surpassing Glory

In the last part of chapter 3, Paul draws on text from the Old Testament, such as Jeremiah 31:33 and Exodus 34:29-35. I can sense Paul’s earnest longing for the Corinthians to get out of their rut and move beyond their problems. His longing is so strong that he makes some extremely bold statements about the Old Testament way of life.

“Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone, came with glory, so that the Israelites could not look steadily at the face of Moses because of its glory, transitory though it was, will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? If the ministry that brought condemnation was glorious, how much more glorious is the ministry that brings righteousness! For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory. And if what was transitory came with glory, how much greater is the glory of that which lasts!” 2 Corinthians 3:7-11

The glory of the obedience/curse way of life presented in the Old Testament has no glory now, according to this text. There is simply no comparison with the surpassing glory of following Jesus, even if following Jesus brings shame, misunderstanding or death. Paul’s anguish is clear. He loves the OT Law. He was a Pharisee. But now he looks to the lasting hope and glory of Jesus the Messiah.

Unveiled Faces

Paul’s thoughts on his vision for the Corinthian faith community continue with amazing imagery.

“Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to prevent the Israelites from seeing the end of what was passing away.” 2 Corinthians 3:12-13

Do people in your faith community wear masks or seem to have a veil over their faces? Do people reveal their authentic self to each other? How can you lift your veil, become transparent, and help build a faith community with unveiled faces reflecting Christ to each other?

Prayer

Wright encourages us to pray by reflecting on the amazing way the Spirit has made a new covenant in the hearts of Christians around us. Pray with thanksgiving for the transformation of your faith community so that they reflect God’s glory. Remember that human hearts are the only letter of recommendation that matter.

The word translated “kingdom” (βασιλεία – basileia) is used 162 times in the NT, while “church” (ἐκκλησία– ekklēsia) is used 115 times. Both are significant themes in the Bible. Kingdom has the meaning of a territory under the rule of a king, while “church” means an assembly, a congregation, a gathering of people. Rather than expound theologically on Kingdom and Church (boring), I’ll share how I experienced the Kingdom (God) through the Church (people).

My (mystical) conversion was my first encounter with the kingdom of God. It was unexpected, supernatural, glorious and mysterious. I met face to face with the Immortal One who lives in unapproachable light (1 Tim 6:16). I still have chills and shivers whenever I recount this. My conversion happened two weeks after I began Genesis one on one Bible study with a UBF missionary in 1980.

A marriage made in heaven is God’s endless mercy and grace to me, a boy who could never speak to any woman I felt attracted to. In my mind it was a certainty that I would never marry. But through the introduction of Samuel Lee I married by faith with a woman I did not propose to! After 32 years of marital bliss (and counting), God granted me the unspeakable joy of God and his kingdom. I previously shared how God’s utmost love for mankind is expressed through a happy marriage.

Four lovely children are God’s blessed gifts of love and undeserved rewards, through whom I taste the goodness and love of the kingdom of God. They are like arrows to a warrior whose quiver is full of them (Ps 127:3-5). In addition, God has granted my wife and I three (plus one) grandchildren. My endless wealth from my children are inestimable and priceless.

A happy church community of 10 families are at West Loop UBF. Even if I do a poor job of it, I have the great privilege of preaching extemporaneously to them. Every Sunday without exception I stand in awe of God before them and others in weakness and with fear and trembling (1 Cor 2:3). We thoroughly enjoy each others’ company with endless laughter and intimate conversation. Even when we disagree and fight (mainly because of my autonomous, abrasive, combative and confrontational disposition!), God has enabled us to be true friends who stab each other in the front!

Friends who love Jesus in Philippines UBF. Through a Bible student from my fellowship in 1984, God planted a church that has been thriving to this day. They have been a fruitful and vibrant ministry in Manila that we have been able to love and support from Chicago. God has granted me the privilege of visiting them each year over the past decade. Their love for God and Scripture enabled me to share 26 sermons and Bible studies in 19 days when I was last with them in March 2014.

Even my sins of losing $1,000,000 in 2005 drew me closer to Christ. When I lost our entire life savings and much much more, I felt devastated. I brought shame, pain and grief to my dear wife and children, to myself and to my church. But at this very nadir of my life, Jer 31:3 came to my heart. I was shocked that as I loathed myself I tasted the nearness of the kingdom of God through God’s everlasting love. It is true that nothing can separate God’s children from the love of God through Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom 8:38-39). I obviously do not advocate sinning. But my sin made me more bold, confident and fearless (Prov 28:1) with deep humility and tears (Ac 20:19) and with fear and trembling (Phil 2:12). Brian calls this a lamb-hearted lion.

Planting West Loop UBF church on Jan 4, 2008. In my heart and mind this is a miracle of God that I thought would never ever happen. But God, through UBF’s gracious leaders, granted their blessing and approval. Though the year long process was painstaking and gut wrenching, the result brought joy and tears of the kingdom of God to my heart. Even as I remember it today, I still taste and see that God is indeed good.

Sorry for this rambling reflection and abstract articulation about the kingdom and the church through my experience. Do share your thoughts about the Kingdom and Church and help me out. How have you experienced God and his kingdom?

Lacking nothing

A charmed life. Recently I told a friend that I feel a little guilty (but not too much!) that I am just so darn happy. I feel content and too blessed by God virtually every day. I live such a charmed (and easy) life in perhaps the greatest country in the world. Being semi-retired from being a doctor, I spend every day doing what I want: preparing for my next sermon, reading books and blogs, writing, commenting and blogging, and these days I am binge-watching the first four seasons of The Good Wife on Amazon Prime! I hardly ever truly suffer, apart from encountering the daily annoyances of life, which is inevitable.

Bitter and angry. My friend seemed surprised when I expressed how happy I was. Perhaps the impression is that I am angry, bitter and discontented because of my dissatisfaction regarding issues I write about on UBFriends. Yes, some issues raised here are exasperating and frustrating. But even such annoyances adds tremendous fun and spice to my life! This is so simply because the Lord is my shepherd, who watches over me as my fortress, my rock, my deliverer, my shield, my salvation and my stronghold (Ps 18:2).

Bad shepherding. Peter says to his fellow elders, “Be shepherds of God’s flock” (1 Pet 5:2). Jesus says to Peter to take care of Jesus’ sheep (Jn 21:15-17). As with everything in life, shepherding people can be done well or poorly; it can be carried out with humility and condescension or with selfishness and elitism. Last year, someone asked me the question: “How may UBF communicate the best practice of shepherding”? My short answer is that good shepherding NEVER violates or imposes upon another person, just as Jesus never imposed himself on others against their will and free choice (Rev 3:20). Also, the father of the prodigal son did not impose himself on his two lost sons (Lk 15:11-32). Shepherding in the church always goes wrong when we impose our wish dream on others, or when we do not give people their freedom (cf. 2 Cor 3:17; Gal 5:1), usually through coercion, intimidation or bullying.

Pastor becomes God. Bad shepherding or pastoring happens when the human shepherd or pastor becomes like God and functionally and practically takes the place of God in the life of the person(s) being shepherded. For instance, this can happen if the shepherd is the one who decides if and when an adult can or cannot date, or if and when they can or cannot marry, to mention but two unquestioned implicit practices in UBF. Yes, many happy marriages have resulted, including mine. But in my opinion, dating and marriage policies should be seriously addressed, discussed and corrected in the church. It is because of the ongoing unhealthy authoritarian abuses, favoritism, discrimination, classism, politicking, control and manipulation that such practices have produced. Countless examples have already be given on this website.

The Lord alone is your shepherd. I am not advocating rebellion, disrespect or anarchy toward your human shepherd. But not all shepherding is Christ-like. Good shepherding should allow for critical thinking, disagreements and for creating a safe place (like UBFriends) where anyone can freely speak up and speak out. Consider some random questions:

1. Does expressing my happiness come across like bragging?
2. Are you happy because you sense and know that the Lord alone is your shepherd?
3. Are you unhappy because you experience your human shepherd trying to control you and tell you how to live?

You didn’t do what I want! “Legalism is the tendency to regard as divine law things that God has neither required nor forbidden in Scripture, and the corresponding inclination to look with suspicion on others for their failure or refusal to conform.”

Become my slave. “There are professing Christians, who are determined to bring you under their religious thumb. They are bent on making you a slave of their conscience. They have built a tidy religious box…and they strive to stuff you inside and make you conform to its dimensions. They are legalists, and their tools are guilt, fear, intimidation, and self-righteousness. They proclaim God’s unconditional love for you, but insist on certain conditions before including you among the accepted, approved elite of God’s favored few.”

Conform and be controlled. “I’m not talking about people who insist that you obey certain laws or moral rules in order to be saved. Such people aren’t legalists. They are lost! They are easily identified and rebuffed. I’m talking about Christian legalists whose goal is to enforce conformity among other Christians in accordance with their personal preferences. They are lifestyle legalists. They heap condemnation and contempt of your head so that your life is controlled and energized by fear rather than freedom and joy and delight in God.”

Legalists NEVER think they are legalists. “Rarely would these folk ever admit to any of this. They don’t perceive or portray themselves as legalists. If they are reading this, they are convinced I’m talking about someone else. They’d never introduce themselves: ‘Hi, My name is Abraham (or Isaac or Jacob, etc). I’m a legalist and my goal is to steal your joy and keep you in bondage to my religious prejudices. Can I tell you all the things you’re doing wrong?’”

Please live in fear. “Some of you are either legalists or more likely victims of legalism. You live in fear of doing something that another Christian considers unholy, even though the Bible is silent on the subject. You are terrified of incurring others’ disapproval, disdain, and ultimate rejection. Worse still, you fear God’s rejection for violating religious traditions or cultural norms that have no basis in Scripture but are prized by legalists. You have been duped into believing that the slightest misstep or mistake will bring down God’s disapproval and disgust.”

Do you feel light or heavy? “When you are around other Christians, whether in church or before your leader(s):

• Do you feel free?
• Does your spirit feel relaxed or oppressed?
• Do you sense their acceptance or condemnation?
• Do you feel judged, inadequate, inferior, guilty, immature, all because of your perceived failure to conform to what someone else regards as ‘holy’?

Jesus wants to set you free from such bondage! As Paul said, ‘you were called to freedom!’”

Are you free in Christ, or are you living in fear as a victim of legalism?

I quoted Bonhoeffer: “God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community (wish dream) demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren…”

After the sermon I was asked, “Are you saying that the church should not have a vision or a dream? I thought it is always good for us to have a vision and a dream for the church.”

So is a wish dream bad? Bonhoeffer says, “Every human wish dream that is injected into the Christian community is a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished if genuine community is to survive. He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial.” “He acts as if he is the creator of the Christian community, as if his dream binds men together.”

My random thoughts are these. Every person has some dream, vision or hope. My dream is that West Loop Church increasingly becomes a gospel community where Christ is preached and lived out, and where anyone and everyone is welcomed without prejudice and without being imposed upon. But this was not my dream in the past. Prior to West Loop starting in 2008 my dream, given to UBF by Dr. Lee, was to make America a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.

UBF’s wish dreams are expressed in our “core values” (and in prayer topics and announcements). Our initial wish dream when I came to UBF in 1980 was to pray for UBF Bible teachers in 561 American campuses and 231 nations of the world. This dream gave me a motivation of how I could practically love Jesus with all my heart. I read the Bible once a year. Every week I spent hours studying and teaching Dr. Lee’s Sun sermons, answered the Bible study questions, prepared Bible study binders, wrote testimonies, and carried out an average of 10 1:1 Bible studies a week. I gave “message training” to my Bible students for decades. With Dr. Lee’s support, I helped dozens of them to marry by faith for UBF world campus mission. I did this for over 25 years. I have no regrets about any of this because I did so with a clear conscience to love Jesus.

What then is the problem? It was that my wish dream became my identity and my sense of self-worth. It became the core of who I was. My “wish” to fulfill my “(UBF) dream” became my will, my demand, my obsession, my sensibility, my imposition on my church community, and worst of all it became my Christ, my everything. I forget that human beings are NOT the ones to create the community.

Last week a friend shared with me a “wish dream” by a top UBF leader who said (I’m paraphrasing), “Being a 1:1 Bible teacher and testimony writing is absolute.” Besides violating the freedom taught in Galatians, such a wish dream according to Bonhoeffer is “a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished if genuine community is to survive.”

Is wish dream a concept easily understood by UBF?

Can UBF stop propagating the UBF wish dream?

Can UBF understand why the UBF wish dream hinders genuine community?

First, notice that sections of the italicized definition are pasted below and numbered, followed by questions/comments that can help expose the underlined errors therein and (perhaps incompletely) point to some more biblical perspectives.

Second, a much better definition of the church (by no means the only one), is provided. I adapted this definition from a class on Ecclesiology at Reformed Baptist Seminary with Greg Nichols. I loved his class because he drew on no other sources than the scriptures (as will be evident).

Third, I will suggest positive steps for UBF’s future, pointing out that UBF shouldn’t identify itself as a local church (in form) while it almost exclusively operates as a para-church (in function). Based on concepts from 9Marks, I suggest UBF either fully commit to para-church life, or reform into an association of local churches.

UBF is close to my heart, and I love many who still serve therein. So I write this to promote what scripture says about church life. Also, I write this not only to be polemical, but to promote a careful readership that refuses to take simplistic statements at face value, but rather puts everything under scripture’s scrutiny. My purpose is to stir the waters, so that what seemed clear becomes muddy, so that thinking Christians would once again “go back to the Bible.” I hope to encourage even more elaboration.

1. A Bad Definition of Church on UBF’s new Heritage Website

1) UBF definition: “Church is a group of believers.”

This definition seems true on the surface, but hidden beneath is an over-simplification. Believers all throughout church history have wrestled with whether a true local church only needs a group of believers, or whether there needs to be an ordained elder present who can perform Baptism and the Lord’s Supper. So this statement is overly simplistic, overlooking the sincere struggles of those in the historical church who grappled with this question. When I invite Christian friends over for tea and Twinkies, does that form a church? At the simplest level, a church is not only a gathering, but an assembly that performs the ordinances of Baptism and the Lord’s Supper (John 4:24; 1 Cor. 14:23-25; Heb. 13:15, Acts 2:41, 10:47, 48; 1 Cor. 10:16, 17, 11:25).

2) UBF definition continued: “So it is diverse in that every believer is unique, yet is one in that every believer has many things in common, notably faith (Eph. 4:4,5). The church was formed when Jesus ascended into heaven. About one hundred and twenty people gathered in Jerusalem, stayed in one place, and prayed together waiting for the Holy Spirit Jesus had promised (Acts 1:14). After the Holy Spirit came upon them Peter spoke boldly about Jesus in front of the public. On that day about three thousand were added to the church (Acts 1:41). The church bounded in number (Acts 2:47). As the church expanded, she faced many problems as well. For example, she had to care for widows that had not been the plan of the church. To handle many practical problems in the early church the Apostles appointed seven stewards (Acts 6:5). No Apostles had any blue print on running the church as an organization.”

This statement does not do justice to scripture or to church history. If there was no blueprint on running churches, why do the Pastoral Epistles exist (1-2 Timothy, Titus)? Why does Paul tell Timothy to “Guard what has been entrusted to him” (1 Tim 6:20) and proceed to give him and Titus instructions on church structure, elders and deacons, and procedures to guide church life? What was Timothy to guard? What else did Paul mean by “the tradition they received from us” (2 Thess. 3:6)? The apostles DID HAVE A BLUEPRINT, and they got it from the Lord Jesus Christ, the master architect of his church. From whom do you think Paul learned these traditions pertaining to the church? As professing Christians, we must seek to structure our local churches after that design, found not in our tastes, preferences, or imaginations, but in scripture.

Also, there is a scriptural contradiction by using Acts 6 in the above paragraph. If the apostles had no blueprint, then why were deacons chosen in order for the apostles to better devote their time to prayer and the word? Obviously there were some priorities and pre-defined roles for leadership already at this early stage in church history.

3) UBF definition continued: “The church was the outcome of their devotion to world mission.”

Again, an aspect of truth is here, but it is imbalanced and potentially misleading. Largely, this is a theological and biblical error, for the church was not the outcome of human devotion, but of Christ’s personal building project (Matt 16:18). God chose and gave to Christ the elect, the group believers of all time who would belong to him and believe in him (John 17:6, 24; Eph. 1:4; 1 Pet 1:1-2). Christ himself planned and ordained and built his church, and had in mind certain aspects and features for its well-being, and he still governs and shepherds it today, in particular, tangible ways. So, the church and world mission was the outcome of God keeping his promise to Abraham, that his seed (Israel>David>Christ: the True Israel and True David) would bless the nations—NOT because of the devotion of the apostles to world mission.

4) UBF definition continued: “So the infrastructure of the church was flexible and adaptable as needed.“

Again, see #3 above. What scriptural support is cited for this statement? The church has been very INFLEXIBLE throughout the ages, again, because Christ has been guarding it. Hasn’t the church’s history been replete with heretics being thrown out, of reformations, of wrestling with and clarifying true biblical doctrines? If anything, one of evangelicalism’s biggest scandals is that it HAS BEEN TOO FLEXIBLE AND ADAPTABLE, often not in line with scripture by the leading of the Sovereign Church Director Jesus Christ. Rather, it has been FLEXED by the cultural prejudices, whims, trends, and tastes of the society around it. The apostles and church members are not those who “adapt the church as needed.” The Lord Jesus Christ actively administers and governs all true local churches today, and at any time He sovereignly chooses, He can remove a church’s lampstand (Rev 2-3).

5) UBF definition continued: “As time passed, the church took its own course and made its own shape. For example, it became the imperial state church by AD 400. At her climax around AD 1200 every person born in Europe was born into one church – the Catholic. Then the religious reformation came and the church was diversified into many independent organizations. The UBF has become one of them.”

See #4 above. Also, the church never “takes its own course.” This is a sad characterization of the church that is instituted, built, nurtured, and led by the Lord Jesus (c.f., Matt 16:18).

Furthermore, this statement jumps from the Protestant Reformation (the one that gave us Luther, Calvin, Zwingli, Whitefield, Packer, Stott, Edwards, Owens—the rest of the puritans—Keller, Piper, Carson, etc.) to UBF! Shouldn’t we want to listen to how the Holy Spirit throughout the centuries taught and led these reformers to come to fuller, more biblical, and more Christ-centered understandings of the gospel? Wouldn’t it be arrogant to assume that we have the biblically true church design, while never having learned from these Bible teachers?

I think it’s a great disservice to the casual reader (who will not study church history beyond this paragraph) to say the reformation’s only effect on the world was to make “many independent organizations” (!). Calvin would cry at this. Luther would shout! The reformation GAVE US BACK THE GOSPEL that had been lost (sorry for the oversimplification).

One last thing: this bad definition of church neglects a discussion of CHURCH MEMBERSHIP, which, at the time of writing this article, UBF currently does not have. The word “member” is on the page 3 times, but UBF provides no guidelines/requirements for membership. This is very dangerous, since lack of membership creates difficulty for loving church discipline to be intentionally and consistently carried out, and it creates opportunities for those who hold heretical viewpoints to rise in popularity and influence within UBF chapters. Also, because

1. Scripture explicitly affirms church membership (Eph 4:25, 5:29-30)

2. Pastoral care mandates church membership (Acts 20:28-32)

3. Church discipline mandates church membership (Matt 18:15-18)

4. Joining the church mandates church membership (Acts 9:25-30)

Look up the references and study for yourself.

2. A Better Definition of “Church”—in one very long sentence (with scripture references)

What follows is a better definition of the church, adapted from an excellent class I took on Ecclesiology with Greg Nichols. It’s one LONG sentence. Be sure to study the scripture references.

The Church is Christ’s saved society…

… PURPOSED in God’s eternal plan and solemn pledge of salvation (Eph. 3:10; 2 Thess. 1:1, 4-5; Gen. 3:15);

which was PORTRAYED in supernatural creation; in covenant promises of salvation, and in John’s gospel commencement (Rom. 5:14, Isa. 54:9-10; Heb. 12:22, John 4:1-2);

which was FORMED through salvation accomplished and applied by Christ (Matt. 16:18, Acts 20:28),

in its Identity: God’s new creation (Christ’s body, bride, and posterity), the covenant community (his children, people, kingdom, temple, and priesthood), and Christ’s gospel assembly of glorified spirits in heaven and of his disciples on earth (Rom. 5:14-19, Isa. 54:9, Isa. 53:9; Heb. 2:13-14, Rom. 9:6, 24-26; Matt. 21:43; Col. 1:13; Eph. 5:24-33 Acts 11:26, 19:32-41);

in its Extraordinary form: structured collectively as one universal assembly consisting of many local assemblies and disciples (Gal. 1:13, 22)

and distinguished by seven prominent features;

instituted personally by Christ (Matt. 16:18);

composed evangelically of believers in Christ (Acts 2:47, 5:14, 14:21-23);

administered universally by Christ, his Spirit, and apostles, locally by elders and deacons (Eph. 5:23; Col. 1:18, Acts 13:2, Acts 16:4; 1 Cor. 7:17, Acts 14:23, 20:17, 28; Phil. 1:1; 1 Tim. 3:8-13);

constituted solemnly by divine covenant with Christ’s blood symbolized in the Lord ’s Supper (1 Cor. 10:16, 17, 11:25; Heb. 8:6-13);

consecrated by endowment with God’s Spirit;

convoked weekly on the Lord’s Day (Acts 1:5; 1 Cor. 3:16, Exod. 20:8; Acts 20:7);

and commissioned to display God’s glory in Christian salvation and integration (Acts 11:26; Eph. 3:5-10);

in its Sacred vocation (upward, inward, outward), appointed and endowed by Christ

to draw near to God in worship, ordinances (Baptism and the Lord’s Supper), and prayer (John 4:24; 1 Cor. 14:23-25; Heb. 13:15, Acts 2:41, 10:47, 48; 1 Cor. 10:16,17, 11:25, 1 Tim. 2:1-8);

to love God’s people by nurture, benevolence, and discipline (John 13:34-35, 1 Tim. 5:16, Matt. 18:17; 1 Cor. 5:1-13);

and to love humanity by gospel evangelism (Matt. 28:18-20);

and in its Institutional relations  within the Nohaic covenant community, a compliment to family and state (Matt. 19:3-12; Eph. 5:22-24, Rom. 13:1-7);

which is PRESERVED throughout its militant history through the gospel application of salvation in every generation in spiritual warfare with the world, sin, devil, death, and hell, through great apostasy, and with a gospel recovery (Matt. 16:18; Eph. 3:21, 6:10-18, 2 Thess. 2:3-12; 1 Tim. 4:1-2, Acts 3:19-21; Rom. 11:17-32);

and which WILL BE GLORIFIED at its triumphant destiny in the completion of salvation with ultimate victory (1 Cor. 15:25-26), with translation unto glory, and with eternal life (Eph. 5:27; 1 Thess. 4:13-17).

Here’s a quick summary of the definition: The church is Christ’s saved society: purposed in God’s eternal plan and solemn pledge of salvation, portrayed in covenant promises of salvation, formed in Christ’s accomplishment of salvation, preserved through the gospel application of salvation, and glorified in the completion of salvation.

I hope that readers of this will at least go through the scripture references. If not even that, please take away from this that the first paragraph on the web page cited contains a biblically and church-historically inaccurate definition of the church. Then, the web site attempts to proceed in argument from this definition to justify the structure of UBF. However, careful readers should expose and question the errors of this definition, so that what proceeds from it may also be found biblically baseless. And it’s okay to publish an article on your organization’s structure. But it’s not okay to make it seem like your organization’s structure is supported by biblical teaching, especially when the way you use the bible verses and narrate church history is imbalanced and misleading.

3. My Hope for UBF’s Future

My wife and I lived with, cried with, grew with, and were nurtured by people in UBF for over 9.5 years! We love them, so everything written here should be understood from that viewpoint. So, in recognition of the scriptural definition of the church above, it is my sincere hope and prayer (I actually have been praying this for 3 years) that UBF refrain from identifying itself as a local church (in its outward form) while it continues being essentially a para-church organization (in its day-to-day function). (See 9Marks Journal, April 2011 issue for a distinction on church vs. para-church organizations.)

In particular, UBF should either:

1. Commit to being only a para-church organization. UBF should shift its major focus to protecting, supporting, promoting and nurturing nearby local churches, sending those it evangelizes on campuses eventually to nearby local churches; by sending out trained, seasoned shepherds/house churches to serve nearby local churches; and by requiring all UBF participants to have membership, or at least associate membership, in a local church; OR UBF should

2. Commit to being an association of autonomous local churches. UBF should “reform” into an association of autonomous local churches (UBF chapters–> local churches), each of which develops:

1) local church polity for members, deacons, and pastors/elders (a church constitution), ordination and preaching-license requirements;

2) membership requirements, and especially a church discipline covenant; and

3) a doctrinal confession that not only includes traditional evangelical beliefs  but articulates clearly and adduces scriptural support for all of UBF’s uniquely-nuanced-yet-unwritten practices. Provide written/published explanations of expectations for members, and scriptural support for terms/concepts like marriage by faith, fishing, one-to-one bible study, common life, the polarization of grace and truth, the use of the term “sheep” to refer indistinguishably to believers and unbelievers, etc.—so that expectations and concepts are explicitly and verbally articulated rather than only implicitly and nonverbally infused in the behavior/culture of UBF.

These are just (imperfect) suggestions that I’ve been thinking/praying to God about. I defer to God to do exceedingly and abundantly more than I can ask or imagine. But whatever changes take place, I pray that those who do them are motivated by the fact that the Church is wholly the possession and the executive responsibility of Jesus Christ, and His church exists to display his glory in its upward, inward, and outward vocation. Then UBF, committing either to Christ-centered para-church or to local church life, would have, I believe, a much greater impact in its intended mission.

Remember, when you write a definition of “church,” you are writing about Christ’s bride, whom He looks after, and is jealous for. I’d be careful how I write about someone’s bride. So, just stick to the New Testament’s teaching on it, which came from Christ himself (Jn 16:13; 14:26; 15:26, 27).

1. Why it’s important: sin deceives and traps all of us without exception.
2. How to do it: humbly and gently with the Spirit’s help.
3. What not to do: being conceited and thinking we are better than others.
4. Who did it best: Only Jesus was perfectly accountable.

Everyone needs to be accountable, even top leaders. Using the account of Nathan confronting David (2 Sam 12:1-14) and Paul rebuking Peter (Gal 2:11-14), my thesis is that two most prominent leaders–one in the OT (King David) and one in the NT (the apostle Peter)–were caught in sin and needed to be held accountable and restored. It does not matter if one is a new Christian or a top leader in the church, everyone needs someone to be accountable to. I hope to encourage my congregation to seek out someone they trust to be accountable to and to be accountable to others. The two questions I pose are:

1. Do you have a Nathan?
2. Are you a Nathan to others?

Shame or selfishness. We might be reluctant to seek out an accountability partner because of shame of confessing our sins and shortcomings, or a reluctance to expose our own dirty laundry. We might also be reluctant to be accountable for others because of selfishness. But our lives will surely be enriched when we have someone to be accountable to and for.

There is only One who was perfectly accountable. Ultimately we all fail being accountable to God and to others because of our shame and selfishness. But there is One who was accountable to God and to others…unto death. He was perfectly accountable to God and to us at the cost of his life. When we realize this and to the degree that we understand this, we too will be compelled to be accountable to God and to others.

Do you have someone you are accountable to and for?

Warning: This is a random, rambling, ruminating reflection!

I trivialized feelings because I misunderstood the nature of God in that though God is One (Dt 6:4; Mk 12:29), yet He is three Persons: the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (Mt 28:19; 2 Cor 13:14; Eph 4:4-6; Rev 1:4-5). Since we are made in the image of the triune God, I schematized this as follows:

A healthy, balanced Christian life embraces all three aspects of our being: heart, mind and will. But since we are fallen, flawed and fallible beings, we invariably are unbalanced, become unbalanced, and would need frequent correctives. At the risk of oversimplification and generalization let’s arbitrarily divide the world as having three kinds of churches.

“Doing” churches. Churches like UBF strongly emphasize mission and what we do. Then there is a tendency for the mind/thinking and heart/feeling to become underdeveloped. Critical thinking and emotion may be ignored or disregarded. Often this happens unnoticed, as I did not realize for the longest time just how horrible it came across when I said, “Feelings don’t matter.” I thought I was being spiritual and holy in carrying out my duty and doing what I should as a Christian, regardless of anything and everything else. To me action and obedience was far more important than critical thinking or emotional expression.

“Feeling” churches. Charismatic churches emphasize emotion as the predominant expression of one’s faith. The fallout potentially could be that we sacrifice reflection and intellectual pursuit, and we might act based on how we feel more than based on what is good and right. In the worse case scenario it could result in expressions of emotion without substance or action.

“Thinking” churches. These may be churches that emphasize sound doctrine and Bible study as crucial and fundamental for the faith. The result may be inadequate action or a disregard for emotion, i.e., a dead orthodoxy. Being a cerebrally inclined person, I minimized feelings and emotions. Though such Christians may be confident and sure that they are living by the Book, those who know them simply want to throw the book at them.

We Christians are a mixed bag. By God’s mercy and grace, I believe we should embrace our being in totality by having:

We Christians should be generous toward those who are different from us. It is too easy to criticize someone who lives out their Christianity in ways we may not agree with. Cessationists may accuse charismatics of shallow emotionalism. Charismatics may accuse cessationists of joyless orthodoxy. Let us rather be gracious toward one another.

What is the predominant expression of your Christianity? How are you doing in balancing heart, mind and will?

Being a missionary

I did not feel like a missionary, as I said in part 1. But while I was there I made sure that I did not try to impose my culture on the students. For me this meant first and foremost that I did not insist on English only. I was assigned a translator. In some bible studies she requested that the students speak in English but I had to be very insistent in telling them to speak freely. Many students were very shy to meet me. I could not understand the tone of the Tagalog but my translator informed me that the presiders were shy to introduce me. I tried to be as open as possible and to speak with all of them. One student refused to look at me as I tried to introduce myself. In America I would have taken this as a call to forcefully introduce myself, possibly with a lot of sarcasm. In this case I didn’t say anything. Later the girl approached me and introduced herself. She was very open in speaking with me for the duration of the conference. The first message was given in English, but the second one was mostly in Tagalog.

Joy

The message in English was given by Timothy. His spoke on John 17, Jesus’ prayer for his disciples. The primary message was Jesus prays for us, and his intercession brings about joy. The sermon was given extemporaneously. He used notes and cited Old Testament verses as needed. It differed from Easter conference in major ways.

The messages given by Americans at Camp Joatta for my conference were very analytical. They were rooted in explanation and argumentation. The message was essentially an appeal to logic; it was a sermon from logos. The messages given by native Koreans were rooted in obedience, loyalty, and discipleship. The message was essentially an appeal to authority of the speaker as a elder messenger of God; it was sermon from ethos. But the message I heard was rooted in emotion; it was a sermon from pathos. His main message can be summarized by the psalmist “What is man, that thou art mindful of him?” This was the same thing I thought as I saw the earth depart from me as I flew to the Philippines. From the sky you could not even tell that people existed, they were too small. Who am I that the creator of the heavens and the earth became man so that I might become like God?

He spoke that the “J” in “Joy” stood for Jesus. Indeed Jesus brings Joy and the joy of the students and people there was contagious. There was no excessive feeling of guilt that many Easter celebrations bring with it. He said that sin destroys the joy that Christ gives us. The message was very inspiring because the modern world has nearly equated sin with virtue. They speak of “forbidden fruit” as though it is something that we ought to have. Sin, rather than bring us joy, actively destroys it!

The success of the Philippines UBF

The Easter Conference had 93 in attendance. I wondered openly how this had happened. Why was it that the Philippines UBF so successful. My chapter has in St. Louis has produced 1 long staying disciple in 7 years. My chapter in Springfield has, by my count, 3 three in the past 4 years. But the Philippines had dozens. Most of the members in attendance had been in the Philippines UBF for more than 2 years. I discovered that the UBF chapter didn’t use the UBF daily bread book. They said to use it was to “put God in a box”. This sentiment was expressed equally about nearly every “rule” that UBF has. Dr. William said that it was our job to guide people and let God choose for them their role in the church. Students wanted to take an active part in the church and there were facilitated by the leadership there. Your role was never chosen for you.

That being said there were very typical UBF influences. “Shepherd” and “shepherdess” were common. Interestingly these were not titles that were required to be used such as in traditional UBF chapters. However, they were still used even though some current UBF chapters don’t use them at all such as Springfield UBF. For various reasons I determined the title was honorary, it was not “earned”. In this way UBF Philippines was not stratified and competitive in nature. It was not a competitive discipleship ministry. Dr. William explained he did not want a mega church. He said he was soon sending out a family of 8 to start a new chapter.

I have observed that some UBF chapters are unsuccessful for 2 reasons. First they are very legalistic, and manipulative. They only present one option for people in the church and therefore exert a lot of control over their members. This was not present in the Philippines UBF; everything was done with grace, love and freedom. The second way I have observed them fail is with regards to the policy on marriage by faith. It seems that traditional Korean marriage practices of arranged marriage were brought with UBF and justified with certain proof texts taken out of context. Korean leaders therefore see their cultural norm as a divine imperative. This shotgun style engagement and forceful nature is not present here. Traditional Filipino courtship is the norm. Courtship usually takes at least a few years. Marriage is not seen as a tool to build missionaries either. Students are free to date, but it is usually discouraged. The traditional courtship is modified in a Christian light. People who are considering being married are introduced in a similar manner as traditional UBF chapters. But then the leaders are mostly absent for the rest of the period. The courtship period is a testing ground to decide if it is God’s will to be married. Leaders do not cancel weddings and families are very involved. Because of an absence of law in favor of grace, and an absence of the UBF marriage by faith policy, UBF Philippines has been very successful.

Closing remarks

I will not go into every detail of my trip. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written. Maybe one day I will include a part 4, it is possible I will write a follow up. God’s work in the Philippines has changed my life in remarkable ways. I have decided I will go back as soon as I can, even at the expense of going to Europe. As one student told me “God is good…All the time.”

No more guilt

I remember so many Easter “celebrations” that felt like a criminal trial. The word guilt means “the fact of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty”. Easter was typically a dreadful reminder that I had done something wrong, like killing Jesus. But not this year. I feel no guilt for doing such a thing. Jesus gave himself to death. It was not to layer humanity with guilt but to set us free from guilt. Easter should be a time of liberation from guilt, not bondage to it. If we feel guilty after this Easter weekend, then we’ve not heard the gospel Jesus preached.

No more exasperation

OMG! We’re late for a ubf meeting! So much tension, so much high-blood pressure trying to get something done for a ubf conference. Exasperation. That’s the word that best described many of my Easter times in ubf. The word means “excite the anger of, to cause irritation or annoyance to”. It’s been over 4 years since I participated in a ubf conference. I’m starting to forget all the no-sleep nights and hard work to “prepare blessings”. But no more. This year was a peaceful Easter, a wonderful conclusion of Lent. I feel happy. I feel connected to the entire Christ-following family around the world. If we are exasperated after this Easter, then we are in need of taking the time to examine Jesus’ gospel more closely.

No more shame

Shame is a “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety”. It is the feeling invoked by guilt. South Korean’s are steeped in a shame/honor society. So it’s no wonder my 24 years of ubf life instilled a deep sense of shame in me. Recently the NY Times reported this: “South Korea has had the highest suicide rate in the industrialized world for eight consecutive years” (source) Such massive shame has been like a syrupy layer of burden over my life in the past. But no more! Finally I enjoyed an Easter with no shame. If a lingering shame stays with you after this Easter, then you’ve heard a flawed gospel message that contradicts the message Jesus preached.

The cross is liberation from guilt, exasperation and shame!

So as ubf chapters attempt to celebrate Easter around the world, let’s all remember the gospel message of the glory of Jesus which removes our shame and the gospel message of the peace of God which removes our guilt. Don’t let your ubf shepherds drive a wedge of guilt, exasperation or shame into your soul. Easter is a time of liberation.

Holy Saturday is often overlooked. It is a day of stillness, of silence, of sadness mixed with joyful expectation and hope. What would happen, now that Jesus has died yesterday? That thought must have sunk into the hearts and minds of all Jesus’ followers that first Holy Saturday. We don’t know what will happen tomorrow, so in silence we wait.

James Hanvey, the Lo Schiavo Chair in Catholic Social Thought at the University of San Francisco, writes: “Holy Saturday is his time. It is the time when we learn to trust his sacrifice of love which death can neither subjugate nor comprehend. In Holy Saturday we begin to see that it is he who has made death his instrument; not to terrorise us into submission, but to call us more intimately to his side. In the purifying darkness of Holy Saturday we discover the Sabbath of our waiting. We come to the end of our way and the beginning of his. It is only Christ who can carry us over into Easter morning, and so it is with all the Holy Saturdays of our life.”

Reasons why I observed Lent in 2014

1. To renew my identity as a Roman Catholic

I am Catholic. My roots are deeply Catholic in my family. It was rather naiive of me to abandon such good roots in my college days. So my Lenten journey was first of all my attempt to “be Catholic”. I observed the traditional Catholic Lent, from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday, but in an non-traditional manner. As time goes on I will pursue other means of dusting off my Catholic faith and actions.

2. To accept my own challenge

A few years ago, I issued a challenge to all ubf leaders. I called it My challenge. I asked any ubf person to abstain from ubf activities for 30 days and see what would happen. I asked “Could you live one month with no UBF activity?” I decided to take my own medicine and live over 40 days during Lent without ubfriends activity. I found it amazingly healthy and helpful to do such a thing.

What I experienced during Lent in 2014

1. It is possible for me to be a priest

One of the surprises was to talk with Anthony Gittins, author of Reading the Clouds: Mission Spirituality for New Times at an ACT3 cohort class in Chicago. I asked him if it is possible for a married man to enter the priesthood. He said yes, it is entirely possible to do so. I have no plans to do this, but this news melted away the last barrier for me to “come home” to the Catholic Church.

2. I have moved on from ubf but will remain in conversation

I expected that not blogging about ubf would be difficult. But I found it to be easy–too easy in fact. I found that I could easily walk away from ubf and cut ubf people out of my life forever. What was difficult was not interacting with all of you– my virtual friends here in this community, including all you silent readers :) I realized more than ever that I need to keep blogging about ubf and my family’s experiences there. I received some anonymous feedback during Lent, from a Korean woman missionary and a Korean man missionary currently working in two different ubf chapters. One told me that they are glad “I keep ubf honest”. The other thanked me for my new book and told me they remember me only with grace and good thoughts. For their sake and the sake of all ubf members, I will continue my blogging and my book writing. Even though it is easy for me to just forget about all things ubf, I will remain in the conversation.

3. I wrote and published a book!

One of my joys is to write. So instead of blogging, I pulled together my thoughts and notes from the past three years and published a book. I found that it feels really good to be a published author! My book is called “Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives“.

In this book I tell my life story for the first time from my authentic self perspective. It was so liberating! I realized that one reason I become so obsessively devoted to ubf is that I was doing penance for my father’s untimely death due to ALS. I had prayed “10 thousand times prayers” (to use ubf language) and still my father died. So I blamed myself, and threw myself into ubf activities to try and make up for my failure. Writing “Rest Unleashed” helped me to not only see the absurdity of this, but to be free from such thought patterns. I dedicated my first book to my father in his memory.

My second book is entitled: “Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives” and will focus on the patterns and principles that helped me undo the ubf ideology and connect with goodness.

You can read more about each book on my other blog site:

Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives

Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives

So I’m glad to be back and look forward to catching up on all the articles and comments from the past 40+ days!

Déjà vu came over me

1998. It reminded me of the first 25 years of my Christian life in Chicago. My abridged version is “woe is me” followed by “1-12-120:” read the whole Bible in a year, feed 12 sheep a week and raise a 120 member fellowship. Here’s a real Ben Toh testimony from 1998 that was my past self. He needs a severe rebuke. Done! So I refrain from doing so again. Similar comments may be made to this noble man.

To charitably consider both sides, I believe he is a truly noble, sincere Christian.He states his inadequacy and (perceived) failure regarding his family and his church: “my children’s struggles and church’s stagnancy were big blows to me…I was lazy and complacent.” Then he set a specific goal of “1-15-20-25” in order to love God with his whole being (Dt 6:5).

Self-loathing and self-flagellation. He mentions receiving much grace and that God is good. Yet his sincere testimony is basically self-loathing. An apt quote by Richard Foster says, “Most of us have been exposed to such a mutilated form of biblical submission that either we have embraced the deformity or we have rejected the Discipline altogether. To do the former leads to self-hatred; to do the latter leads to self-glorification.” It reminds me of countless similar testimonies I have heard for decades and written myself thousands of times, as I did in 1998.

Arrogance in disguise. Because of anthropocentrity, the solution to our problems is deemed to be greater human effort and resolve. It sounds noble. But it is pride and arrogance in disguise. We should be responsible but fail. We think the solution is a firm resolve to “work harder, try harder, pray more, sacrifice more.” Such a testimony does not point to the finished work of Christ (Jn 19:30), nor to the gospel of God’s grace (Ac 20:24).

It’s up to you. The entire solution is the grace of Jesus (1 Cor 15:10), living by the Spirit (Gal 5:16), and a total dependency on God (Prov 3:5), which is sadly lacking when the focus is on self and human resolve. It communicates the thought that God loves us and is pleased with us when we perform well. Otherwise, you better shape up and pull yourself up by your bootstraps. It is not dissimilar from the gospel of self-help.

God loves you even when you mess up. I know we Christians believe this. Do we dare to preach such a radical gospel?

“For 27 years my (Ben Toh’s) identity was in my faithfulness to never miss a UBF Sun worship service, never miss any meetings, never miss writing a testimony every week, never missing any UBF conferences, having 10 1:1 Bible studies a week, etc. I did well as a UBF man. Yet, though I love Jesus, my identity was not in Christ but in what others in UBF expected of me.”

This is what is so blinding here. I think people can attest to these things that you listed. These are some of the expectations for a faithful member of UBF. As long you do these things, you’re growing. Well that’s what it seems to be. As Christians, our identity should be rooted in Christ, but with the environment of UBF that’s really hard to overcome, since there are the human shepherds who are supposed to be in charge of their members in UBF. As a young member or college student, you’re accountable to your shepherd as to whether you’re growing or not. The shepherd seems to have the final say. The shepherd has the final approval of basically everything in your walk with Christ. So basically you’re really trying to live out the expectation of your shepherd rather than Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd.

Is this true? Is this reflective of the experience of UBFers and exUBFers? Is this accurate? Inaccurate? Right? Not right? Neutral? Why?

The literal meaning of decadent is “a state of decline or decay.” It seems to me that, if we strip away all the mental baggage of hedonism and go back to that simple definition, then it’s accurate to say that American evangelicalism is a decadent culture.

One of the books we have been reading lately is The Deep Things of God: How the Trinity Changes Everything by Fred Sanders. Sanders claims that American evangelicalism is in a state of malaise because it has largely forgotten its Trinitarian roots. After a few generations of distilling the glorious and incomprehensible gospel of cosmic redemption to a revivalist sales pitch about what individuals must do to be saved, evangelical church leaders and members can no longer see how the pieces of the Christian-faith puzzle fit together.

Sanders writes:

All cultures and subcultures move through stages, and evangelicalism is, among other things, a distinct subculture of Christianity. In cultural terms, a classical period is a time when all the parts of a community’s life seem to hang together, mutually reinforce each other, and make intuitive sense. By contrast, a decadent period is marked by dissolution of all the most important unities, a sense that whatever initial force gave impetus and meaningful form to the culture has pretty much spent its power. Decadence is a falling off, a falling apart from a previous unity.

 

Inhabitants of a decadent culture feel themselves to be living among the scraps and fragments of something that must have made sense to a previous generation but which now seem more like a pile of unrelated items. Decadent cultures feel unable to articulate the reasons for connecting things to each other. They spend a lot of time staring at isolated fragments, unable to combine them into meaningful wholes. They start all their important speeches by quoting Yeats’s overused line, “Things fall apart, the center cannot hold. Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.” Decadents either fetishize their tribal and party distinctions or mix absolutely everything together in one sloppy combination. Not everybody in a decadent culture even feels a need to work toward articulating unities, but those who do make the attempt face a baffling challenge. At best, the experience is somewhat like working a jigsaw puzzle without the guidance of the finished image from the box top; at worst, it is like undertaking that task while fighting back the slow horror of realization that what you have in front of you are pieces that come from several different puzzles, none of them complete or related. Evangelicalism in our lifetime seems to be in a decadent period. In some sectors of the evangelical subculture, there is not even a living cultural memory of a classical period or golden age; what we experience is decadence all the way back.

Under conditions of decadence, two types of reaction typically occur. Conservative temperaments tend to grab up all the fragments and insist on keeping them as they were found. They may be totally inert lumps that nobody knows how to make use of, but the conservative will faithfully preserve them as museum pieces. Liberal temperaments, on the other hand, tend to toss the fragments aside as rapidly as they stop proving useful. Imagine a conservative and a liberal in some future dark age, pondering an antique internal combustion engine that either can operate but neither could build. Bolted to the side of the engine is an inscrutable gadget that is not clearly adding anything to the function of the vehicle. The liberal would reason that since it cannot be shown to do anything for the motor’s function, it should be removed and discarded. The conservative would reason that since it cannot be shown to do anything, it must remain precisely where it is forever. Perhaps if we knew what it did, it could be removed, but as long as we do not understand it, it stays. Whatever the merits of their temperaments (and neither can be right in this case), under the condition of decadence liberals become streamliners and conservatives become pack rats. Evangelicals have long tended toward the pack rat temperament, even though there are some signs that we may currently be exchanging that temperament for its relatively less happy alternative. What it leaves us with is an impressive stock of soteriological bric-a-brac that we don’t know what to do with or how it originally went together.The inability to grasp the wholeness of salvation is actually one of the primary manifestations of our decadent theological culture.

 

Is Christian salvation forgiveness, a personal relationship with Jesus, power for moral transformation, or going to heaven? It is all of those and more, but a true account of the thing itself will have to start with the living whole if we ever hope to make sense of the parts. Just think how tricky it is to combine free forgiveness and moral transformation in an organic way if what you are starting with is the individual parts. A dreary back-and-forth between cheap grace and works-righteousness is one of the bedeviling distractions of evangelical experience under the conditions of decadence.

In my days of youthful arrogance, I used to imagine, “Yeah, those American churches are in a state of decline. But UBF has really got it together.” Does anyone out there still believe that? Seriously?

One question surfaced lately is this: What if God loves Esau?

Ever since my marriage 20 years ago, I’ve been wondering about this question. But until now I didn’t do anything about it. I just dismissed the question. But could God love Esau? Why am I any different from Esau? Does Jesus choose only “Jacob” and despise “Esau”? Does the gospel only apply to “Jacob”?

This week the question surfaced again as I read “The Household of God” by Newbiggin. He asks piercing questions about the nature of the church and the boundaries of the church. My way of stating Newbiggin’s thoughts is like this: Does the boundary of the church only extend to Jacob?

No way!

So I searched the Scriptures for what God would have to say about Esau and Jacob. And I was continually drawn to Romans 9. I know the immediate reaction to my question: No way! Romans 9:13 states: “Just as it is written: ‘Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.'” End of story. “Jacob” is God’s chosen people, Israel who became the Christians and “Esau” is everyone else who does not believe and stands condemned under the wrath of God. Others will also expound further and claim (and perhaps rightly so) that Romans 9 declares God’s sovereignty in the predestination of the elect. Much has been said about this subject.

Many have expounded on Romans 9. I am ill-equipped to discuss their writings on election. And election is not my subject today. I will only say that at this point I agree with St. Augustine: “Hence, as far as concerns us, who are not able to distinguish those who are predestinated from those who are not, we ought on this very account to will all men to be saved… It belongs to God, however, to make that rebuke useful to them whom He Himself has foreknown and predestinated to be conformed to the image of His Son” (On Rebuke & Grace, ch. 49). And I agree with Spurgeon: “All the glory to God in salvation; all the blame to men in damnation.” Jacob and Esau sermon by Spurgeon

My question again is, “What if God chose to love Esau?” Why do I ask such a question? Well it is a question asked by God through Scripture for starters. And it’s because I am drawn to the end of Romans 9, to the verses that seem to have been either overlooked or not delved into. Specifically I refer to Romans 9:22-33.

Objects of wrath and mercy

22 What if God, although choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? 23 What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory— 24 even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles?

Clearly there are two groups of people here: objects of wrath (“Esau”) and objects of mercy (“Jacob”). Clearly Apostle Paul is making his grand point here that Gentiles (“Esau”) are also included God’s salvation along with Isreal (“Jacob”). What if God chose to bear Esau in order to show Jacob his glory?

And to make this grand point, the Apostle points us to Hosea the prophet:

25 As he says in Hosea:

“I will call them ‘my people’ who are not my people;
and I will call her ‘my loved one’ who is not my loved one,”

26 and, “In the very place where it was said to them,
‘You are not my people,’
there they will be called ‘children of the living God.’”

Does this mean that God loves Esau (those who were not God’s people)? Does this mean that Esau, along with Jacob, is now “God’s loved one”? Why or why not? Thoughts or criticisms?

The book, which I recommend reading, addresses reasons why churches and organizations stop growing and what can be done about it.

Stuck in the past. In brief, innovation’s dirty little secret is that most innovations fail. They fail because many leaders are not competent to help their church or organization grow. Osborne writes, “Some churches insist on maintaining the same programing, ambiance, and worship style that helped them grow thirty years ago. While this protects the past and keeps their aging members happy, it also guarantees that their nursery will remain empty.” What is the solution? “The only way a leader and a leadership team can overcome this natural tendency to protect the past at the cost of the future is to find ways to identify and release gifted innovators in their midst.” For growth to happen, the change leaders need a special insight to predict what will work, a unique courage to take carefully calculated risks, and extraordinary flexibility to change QUICKLY. Sadly, most leadership teams lack these traits. Instead, they do the same familiar predictable thing that no longer works, they are deathly afraid of change and taking risks, and they are rigid and inflexible.

Groupthink, herd mentality, unanimous decisions. Our natural inclination is to look to others when deciding what to do or how to think. A herd mentality is a powerful force in most group settings. It allows the more powerful people to frame the discussion and set the agenda. They try to please certain “important people.” They are politically motivated. They gravitate toward keeping the status quo. They tend to reject anything that doesn’t fit their standard paradigm or hasn’t been done before. Genuinely unique rebels and innovators are hard to find, and if found they are rejected and ridiculed.

Past success leads to arrogance and elitism. The leadership looks down on others. They think their success is due to them. They forget fortuitous timing and divine coincidences. Their arrogance discounts anything it doesn’t understand or hasn’t seen yet. It is particularly dismissive of anything proposed by those younger than them. They refuse to listen to fresh thinking, or to outside advisors. They are restricted by their traditional structures that no longer work. They overtrust the old recipe. They reject young eagles. Rather than nurturing them, they clip their wings, force them to pay their dues and wait their turn, while the old tired leaders continue to keep their reins of power and control.

The book concludes excellently by proposing several things that will support future change, growth and innovation.

Don’t ask what a previous great leader would do. New leaders need to ask the right questions. What are our unique strengths and weaknesses? What is the current reality? What do we need to do to better fulfill our mission? An important question NOT to ask is “What would the previous leader do?” This is a waste of time. It is impossible to know. We only know what they did in a previous era under different circumstances. Even if the situations are exactly the same today, the circumstances and culture are not. Interestingly, Steve Jobs famously told Tim Cook right before his death to make sure no one at Apple asked, “What would Steve do?”

Enforcement without room for leadership. Poor leaders live in fear that future leaders will betray the mission. The worst thing they do is to assume that younger future leaders cannot be trusted. It is a toxic combination of arrogance and distrust. It sabotages innovative leadership. Sadly, most churches and organizations have too many rules and regulations. They dictate and promote control. They think they are protecting the mission. In effect they sabotage the mission. When these rigid rules are all spelled out, there is no room for leadership. There is room only for enforcement.

The freedom to disagree. Every leader has a short list of non-negotiables that are not based on Scripture, morality or integrity. They simply reflect a leader’s personal values and priorities. Tomorrow’s leaders need the freedom to disagree with some deeply held convictions, and the freedom to act on it. (These are not about moral issues because right and wrong do not change over time.) One of the best things a good leader can do is to leave behind a legacy of continual change and innovation. He makes sure that those who follow has the freedom to do things he would never do. He paves the way for them to lead in ways that are counter to our deeply held convictions about how things ought to be done.

The humility and honesty to highlight past failures. Good future leaders need a humble and honest view of the past. The problem is that our idealized memories of the past often look better than the harsh realities of the present. With time gory days become glory days, and uncreative leaders look like superstars! Good successful organizations and church leaders need to be humble and honest enough to highlight and even memorialize their dark days as well as their victories. A leader or leadership team who highlights the successes and buries the failures is romanticizing and idolizing the past. They refuse to sincerely examine and learn from pains and failures. They present an unrealistic dishonest view of the past that will soon be discovered.

What has your experience been with your church or company?

When the church becomes ugly

White boy sheep and HNWs. This reflection exposed my perspective and practice of Christian life. For two decades I was only interested in reaching, evangelizing and discipling young Caucasian Americans. The so-called “presentable parts” (1 Cor 12:24a) were the white boy sheep and HNWs (holy nation women or white women), terminology I no longer use. Thus, I ignored or despised anyone who is not white. They were “the parts that we think are less honorable” and “the parts that are unpresentable” (1 Cor 12:23). The most offensive term I ever coined (for which I am ashamed and speechless) is “paddies”–my short form for anyone who is not white. Their singular purpose as far as I was concerned was to “pad the number for our Sun church attendants”–“paddies.” To think that I never ever considered this offensive or racist for the longest time still daunts me. Even now I quiver with personal nauseating disgust and trepidation as I type this.

Exemplary. When I thought in such discriminatory ways I clearly was not a church for the less honorable, the unpresentable (1 Cor 12:23-24), the poor, the marginalized, the less fortunate, the ignored, the hurt, the wounded, the broken. I was only interested in young whites–the so-called “leadership material”–because they would make me, the fellowship leader, look good to the church. Since my fellowship had the most young white college kids for a couple of decades I became a sort of poster boy and was a so-called “exemplary shepherd” of an “exemplary fellowship.”

Sick caricature. My justification was that I wanted to raise future white young UBF leaders. The sad result of such a mentality is the caricature of other souls who were not white. Once I heard it said that one who is not white is worth one tenth of a white person. A few weeks ago I heard someone in the church being referred to as “a mental patient,” though she is a lovely young girl who was sadly physically abused as a child. A girl who is not white shared how some would move away from her after church, because they did not want to pray with her two by two. Such painful sentiments clouded my own perspective of people to the extent that I even ignored my own family. (Well, it is because they are not a white boy sheep or a HNW!)

Happy. Today, only by God’s mercy and grace, I am genuinely happy to meet anyone. I was happy to meet my Jewish patient. I am so happy to meet any non-Christian with no agenda other than to be friends. I do not wish to be an elitist church. As our West Loop UBF Church catchphrase says, we want to live out the gospel in life and community with no discrimination. Rather, we pray to especially welcome the less honorable and the unpresentable (1 Cor 12:23-24).

What has your experience been with welcoming the less honorable and the unpresentable?

I would like to share what my dear wife wrote to me in a card celebrating this occasion. I asked her and she gave me permission to share it. In my opinion, she is pretty blunt (thanks to my influence!) but also gracious.

Dear Ben,

After 32 years of marriage, I believe that this year we began to truly embrace the obvious fact that we are very different — in outlook, temperaments, response patterns.

It is clearly the work of God through the gospel that has enabled you (us) to embrace these differences. And I sense that because of this your desire to change or fix me has greatly diminished. This makes me feel better about myself and actually inspires me to want to change, press on forward and be sanctified. It also helps me to respect you as a godly man–in spite of your own glaring faults. :-)

I am also thankful for the change in you, brought on by God’s Spirit working in leading our family and church into a deeper understanding of the gospel. I appreciate your efforts to be  less critical and more patient with me (in driving and making business decisions). There were times when I doubted God’s power to work in us (especially you!). But God’s hand is clearly guiding us in spite of ourselves.

Now my prayer is that God may bind us together more deeply through all the shared events of life, that we may learn what it means to live out the gospel, confess, forgive and experience the power of grace. That most of all our family and marriage may produce a lasting legacy and example for generations to come.

“We love because he first loved us.”

Chris

I had previously shared that if not for UBF I would not be married. My marriage is indeed my happiest story next to the grace of Jesus. I believe that this is also true for the happy couples we have at West Loop, which enables us to be a happy church. Last month our members collectively came up with our catchphrase: “Live out the gospel in life and community.” We can do so when the Spirit of God fills us with the fruit of love, joy and peace (Gal 5:22-23).

Thank God for happy marriages and a happy church. Thank God for my happy wife (in spite of me!).

I want a church oozing with the gospel of Jesus.

So often in Christendom we get lost in the atonement aspect of the gospel. We think in narrow terms of a legal transaction. God tells us a far deeper, richer and more meaningful gospel in the pages of the bible however.

God’s measuring line is justice. I want a church that cares about justice, and justice of all kinds. I want a compassionate church full of people who feel and express those feelings.

God’s plumb line is righteousness. I want a church who is centered on Christ, on the righteousness of Christ, who alone is our Overseer, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. I want a church who is transparent enough that I see Jesus and what Jesus is doing today, and what Jesus did in the past.

I want a church who lives, breathes and sleeps the gospel messages of grace, peace, glory of Christ, life, salvation, kingdom of God, forgiveness, fulfillment, freedom and rest. God tells us that the gospel is about Jesus.  Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel… (2 Timothy 2:1-26). I want a church that has doctrines deeply rooted in telling the facts of two amazing events that make up the gospel: Jesus came to life after death and Jesus fulfilled all the prophecies in the Jewish faith about a Messiah. I want a church that understands that preaching the gospel of Jesus has more to do with the empty tomb and the prophecies than about a legal transaction.

I want a church who is all about the mission of love. To love everyone. To explore how Jesus loved so we can learn to love ourselves, our friends, our enemies, those we don’t like, those we think are crazy, those who are marginalized and anyone we come in contact with.

I want a church who believes God is one God and at the same time Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I want a church who believes with grace and acts with love. I want a church that is all about the
ministry of reconciliation, a church who loves exploring each person’s giftedness and appointing leaders who display evidence of anointing by the Holy Spirit.

I want a church who delights in humanity.

I want a church who respsects personal boundaries, who is filled with people who are not afraid to be vulnerable and at the same time provides a safe haven for those who  are not ready to be vulnerable. I want a church who is not afraid of the messy, ugly and crazy parts of humanity.

I want a church who welcomes men and women, who sees neither Jew nor Greek, neither slave nor free, neither men nor women, neither straight nor gay. I want a church who openly embraces women in leadership, LGBT people in leadership and makes room for the mentally ill, the depressed and the challenged in all kinds of ways. I want a church who welcomes the misfit, the hot mess, the cool GQ and anyone who wanders into their company.

I want a church who will stop everything if even one person needs help. I want a church who will get the best out of all of us, who won’t settle for the status quo, who will stop for anyone who can’t keep up and who will not tolerate harm to anyone in any way, whether physically, mentally, emotionally, financially or spiritually.

I want a church that welcomes both the children and the aged, the weak and the strong. I want a church who loves humans as much as God loves humans.

I want a church with courageous followers of Jesus.

I want a church with people who strive to follow Jesus and who are ok with those who have no idea what that means. I want a church full of courageous people who can be there when I’m not courageous.

I want a church who seeks the gifts of imperfection and live with courage, compassion and connection.

I want a church who is more about listening to the Holy Spirit than supervising morality, who is connected to the whole church, Catholics, Protestants, Eastern Orthodox and the “nones”. I want a church made up of people who face the facts of reality, who are courageous enough to call out something if someting is bad, and say it’s bad, and then learn what’s good if it’s good. I want a church courageous enough to make plans, allow those plans to be challenged and then change those plans when necessary.

I want a church connected to the vast Christian church history. I want a church who recognizes our connections with other faiths, with the Jew, the Muslim, the Hindu and all kinds of other religious faiths.

I want a church who surrenders to the Lordship of Jesus, who acts like Jesus is indeed the Lord of the church, who as all authority and power and glory.

What kind of church do you want?

Building one’s own kingdom

Leave and go. God’s intent and directional flow is for everyone to leave his father and mother and go forth to begin anew by exploring the world as good stewards (Gen 2:24). But after sin was born, every man’s sinful default is to do the very opposite. Instead of leaving and exploring, man stays to build up their own small kingdoms. Sadly, this is what churches and Christian ministries have done over the centuries. A church starts well by the work of the Holy Spirit. They may grow and even explode, as I believe UBF did for a few decades. But after an initial period of growth, stagnation and eventual decline often happens, as seems to be presently happening throughout the UBF world. Why?

So many good churches. There are many reasons. For one, people have many more options, and choices of many great churches to go to. Even around UIC and West Loop, I have become friends with many local pastors, who are truly godly Christian men and excellent preachers, pastors and teachers, who are serving many in the community I live in as well as reaching out to UIC students.

The need to control others. Nonetheless, I maintain that the primary reason anyone leaves any church is because of a weakened or broken relationship, often caused by the need of one person to control the other person. Again, isn’t it true that so many native leaders left UBF over the past decade mainly because they felt that their chapter director wanted to keep their authority and control over them? Isn’t it true that those chapter director(s) simply could not bear to lose their control and authority over their so-called “sheep”? Didn’t they want so badly to keep their sheep under them that God scattered them to other churches?

Let my people go. A major point that I have repeatedly said over the past decade is: “Let my people go” (Ex 9:1). If Christian leaders try to forcibly and coercively hold their church members, they weaken and eventually break their relationship with them. Worse yet, they are resisting the biblical mandate to go into all the world (Mk 16:15). Even if they do not go to all nations (Mt 28:19), at least let them go out into their own community of choice, based on their own initiative and preference without undue interference by the hierarchy of the church. Can we let local leaders lead? This allows for the free flowing organic work of the Holy Spirit (Jn 3:8), which is sadly often quenched by some Christian leaders who act as though it is their right to control the work of the Holy Spirit.

You’re not ready. UBF grew much initially because the Holy Spirit worked mightily. Samuel Lee allowed able young leaders to have stewardship and leadership over their own chapters and churches in their 30s. But these leaders who are now in their 50s and 60s are not willing to allow their own members in their 30s to lead their own chapters and churches. They say, “they are not ready,” or “they need more humbleness training,” etc. Isn’t this simply an excuse for keeping people with them and controlling people under them?

Is God scattering people from UBF, because some leaders in UBF are trying to hold and control people excessively?

I promised her that I will humbly blog on some of my special unique sins as a pastor and leader in UBF. This is going to be painful, ouch.

Tripp calls it the encroachment of the kingdom of self into our Christian ministry/church, where we shift our treasure from Christ to ourselves. This is then expressed through the way we serve the ministry/ church. He identifies five of a long list of what he calls “treasure shifts,” which is idolatry–the idolatry of self, expressed through our pastoring, preaching, teaching and leading the church.

1. Moving from Identity in Christ to Identity in Ministry. For decades my most deeply felt identity was in being a so-called “exemplary fruitful UBF shepherd and 1:1 Bible teacher.” Of course, I say that I identify myself as being a child of God (Jn 1:12), saved only by his grace (Eph 2:8-9). But the reality is that for decades I have been far more moved and happy about my horizontal identity in UBF as a fruitful exemplary shepherd.

2. Defining My Spiritual Well-Being by My Ministry. Yes, I had many sheep and many disciples. But Tripp says that growth in influence must not be confused with growth in grace. The fact that many became Christians through my shepherding is really no measure of my spiritual maturity in Christ. Because of my “outward success” I viewed myself as being more mature that I actually am. I became primarily inclined and motivated to teach others, without clearly coming under my own teaching and preaching (Rom 2:21).

3. Hunger for Honor and for the Praise of People. I am always so happy to hear whenever anyone mentions my name. Since there are many doctors in UBF, whenever anyone says Dr. I anticipate that it would be Ben following the Dr., even though countless times it is Dr. “someone else.” That is how self centered I became in living for the praise and acknowledgement of people in the church (Jn 5:44; 12:43). Clearly, I have become seduced by the treasure of my own reputation.

4. Seeing Myself as Way Too Essential to What God is Doing. Basically, I think and feel as though I am indispensable, and that without me, the work of God would be greatly and negatively impacted. Functionally, I think and feel as though I am the Messiah and savior for many “helpless sheep.” Without me, who can solve their “marriage problem”?

5. Depending on My Own Experience and Gifts. My “gift”—for what it’s worth—is that I am direct and confrontational, bold and blunt, abrupt and abrasive. So I tend to think that unless people are clearly directly challenged, they will never repent. I also depended excessively on my decades of experience in serving sheep, such that my prayer and wisdom are clearly deficient. Once, I would not listen to others about waiting before blessing a young couple to marry, thinking that through my own shepherding, dozens of people have previously married by faith. Then when this couple subsequently divorced, I saw my own ugly overweening pride in depending on my own experience.

This likely just touches the tip of the iceberg regarding the depth of my depravity and sins. May God have mercy on me and lead me to himself.

I hope my wife is pleased with this post!! (I hear a voice saying in my head, “Repent, you incorrigible sinner!”)

Can you relate to these “leader idolatries”?

First, the final authority of UBF resides in the Scripture.

We confess that the final authority of UBF is the Word of God presented in the Old Testament and the New Testament. In UBF, what people fear most or are most conscious of is one man’s approval, namely that of Samuel Lee. Our joy and peace frequently depend upon his word. But people hardly display such intense fear of the Word of God, even when our actions visibly violated it. This alone shows that the final authority of UBF is clearly in the hand of a mere man, fallible, sinful as any others, and fundamentally mortal. Whatever this one person has done or said, good or bad, usually becomes an unspoken rule for and measure of all things. But we firmly believe that man’s authority or UBF’s traditions should never supercede the Word of God. The Scripture alone should be the absolute and final authority in ministry as well as in our life of faith.

Second, the gospel of grace is the interpretive key to the Scripture.

The gospel of Jesus Christ displayed through his death and resurrection is the Scripture within the Scripture. It is and should be the hermeneutical (interpretive) key to the Scripture and the guide to our practical life of faith. The original theological understanding of UBF that held grace and mission in harmony based upon Romans 1:5, has gradually given its way to a different theological reasoning. As the ambition of UBF became more business-oriented, the concept of “mission” emerged as primary, making grace a preparatory step toward the supremacy of “mission.”

Accordingly, UBF’s dominant hermeneutic was shifted from grace that compels believers to “mission and obedience.” (We do not mean superficial lip service given to grace. We are speaking of what is actually going on in the ministry and life of UBF. Practical life plainly shows that the dominant interpretive key to the Bible is “mission and obedience.” It is an unfortunate reductionism. It presents the Word of God as though it were only mission and obedience. There are many more mysteries that cannot be understood by this kind of approach. One good example is that in UBF, the Pauline epistles are hardly studied. The reason is obvious. People are already set with one kind of hermeneutics, that is, that of “mission and obedience.” So, they do not understand Paul’s tenacious emphasis upon the grace of Jesus Christ. So, it is not surprising that UBF has its own favorite texts that are used over and over. Due to its narrow hermeneutics, their biblical understanding is fundamentally selective. Their understanding of Christian life is like tunnel vision. It ends up seeing what it wants to see.) It is a well-known maxim in UBF that a person must be born thrice: first, physically; second, spiritually; third, in mission. This sort of biblical interpretation has well served the organization’s aim of increasing its membership and visibility.

Nevertheless, this kind of biblical hermeneutics caused a series of unforeseen problems that gradually perverted people’s understanding of the gospel and ministry. These ideas — mission and obedience — have reduced the gospel of Jesus Christ and his grace into “law and work” again. In UBF, one’s worth depends mainly upon how well one is able to “feed sheep.” (Or when one is not so successful in feeding sheep, one can find one’s place and position by making a good amount of offering. This is generally what Korean missionaries experience, although American students or leaders receive somewhat different treatment from the leadership of UBF.) Yet, it is not how well one feeds sheep, but salvation comes through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ that gives human dignity and worth to all believers. (We are new creations, new people who will inherit the kingdom of God. Not only so, the great salvation has begun in us, waiting for its completion. Jesus does command us to go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation and to feed his sheep. Nevertheless, all these commands are not given as the condition that Jesus will love us only when we succeed in feeding his sheep.) By reducing the gospel to “mission and obedience,” UBF unwittingly has undone what Christ did on the cross. Even if a particular idea, such as “mission and obedience,” is useful for a church, it becomes, without exception, harmful if it takes the place of the gospel of grace.

Therefore, we maintain that the central key to the Scripture and Christian life is the gospel of grace. Even the Great Commission cannot be thought of apart from the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is the dynamic efficacy of the grace of Jesus Christ that compels us to mission and obedience. We must return to the eternal foundation of the gospel that Christ through his death and resurrection laid.

Third, all human beings are sinners and Jesus Christ alone is our Savior and Lord.

The Scripture declares unequivocally that all human beings are without exception sinners. This means, first of all, that human beings are fundamentally in hostility with God (before our salvation). This also implies that as a human being each of us has an inherent “dark side” which so easily corrupts everything good, noble and worthy in them. This biblical view must be taken with all seriousness as the fundamental understanding of human beings for believers. Ironically, no Christian organization would talk so much about sin as UBF. Our testimony sharing or life testimony is mostly about sin and salvation, after which everyone wants to be a man or woman of mission.

Yet, sin understood in UBF testimony generally refers to moral failings or, in larger part, disobedience to a shepherd (especially to Samuel Lee). This kind of superficial understanding of sin does not take into account the dark side of human nature that lurks in everyone’s heart, even in a born-again Christian, since our redemption is not yet completed.

But in UBF, such a quintessential knowledge is suppressed in its attitude toward its supreme leader, because he virtually occupies the place of God since he is to be “absolutely obeyed.” (We are well aware that some might feel uncomfortable with such an assessment. This may sound too harsh. Yet, it must be carefully noted that when human beings offer their absolute obedience and loyalty to something or someone, this comprises a religious act (Rom 6:12-23). They consciously or unconsciously regard that object of their obedience as divine or nearly divine. The title that is so erratically and arbitrarily used in UBF is “the servant of God.” This title implies immediately obedience to that person. The business of absolute obedience belongs to the Creator, who alone deserves creation’s unswerving absolute obedience.)

This kind of atmosphere provides a fertile ground for abuse of power by those in el supremo. Even when he sins, often ridiculously lofty theological reasons are attributed to his failings, because people have already made this person a mythic figure. They can no longer look at his true identity as a human being with darkness and all kinds of shortcomings but they look at him with misty eyes that are blurred by their own myth-tinted glasses. Such habits are surreptitiously promoted by the supreme leader himself and by his cronies around him. Mythologizing a sinful human being only blinds people to the reality of human nature and drives them further away from the light of the biblical truth about human beings.

Therefore, we strongly denounce such a practice that blinds people to the true understanding about human nature that the biblical truth teaches us. Too much abuse of power has hurt many people of great integrity, purity and honesty. Many who have devoted their entire youth because of their love for the work of the Spirit have left because of such foolish and ignorant practices of exalting and mythologizing one man beyond what he really is. So, based upon this biblical truth about humanity, we resolutely affirm that every human society, political, military or religious, needs to have a system of checks and balances and of accountability.

We Christians already have one Lord who has absolute authority over us, the one who died for our sins and rose from the dead, thus proving that he is the Lord of lords. He alone is our Judge, who has already justified us. Jesus Christ alone has the final say. It is ultimately his word, not human approval, that matters in the end. Any word or act of a human being must be measured and checked according to the word of this Lord. We confess therefore that our consciences are bound only to this Lord alone and to no one else.

Fourth, the founder of UBF is the Holy Spirit and He is also the one who nourishes and preserves it.

The Bible matter-of-factly tells that the birth of a church is the work of the Holy Spirit. Only the Holy Spirit can work wonders of bringing various kinds of people together in the name of Jesus Christ and create a church. So-called human founders are in reality merely the instruments of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, the founder of UBF is the Holy Spirit. Also, the historical fact that the birth of Korean UBF coincides with the outburst of various student movements and denominations originated by the Spirit during the 1950s and 1960s supports our claim that the Holy Spirit is the founder of UBF.

What made UBF what it is today is largely the dedication of numerous brothers and sisters who have selflessly sacrificed their time, material and family life for its well-being. It is preposterous to insist that UBF is one person’s work or his business. All credit therefore should be given to the Holy Spirit and to those who in obedience to the Holy Spirit’s guidance have boldly carried out mission in campuses and in foreign countries without receiving much recognition. The credit also should be given to those who have lost their lives in the middle of their missionary lives.

But the supreme leader of UBF has a self-conceited illusion that the birth of UBF was the work of a handful of human beings, especially himself. Owing to such a flawed view, he has often blatantly said that UBF is his. That kind of ignorance and misconception is visibly evident in his effort to hand the organization to his son. We absolutely reject such a claim about UBF. The rightful owner of UBF is the Holy Spirit rather than one person. It belongs to many people whose lives have made the organization as it is today. The ownership of UBF must be returned to its rightful owner(s).

We likewise believe that it is the Holy Spirit that nourishes and preserves UBF. The UBF supreme leadership thinks that it is his outstanding leadership skill that has nourished and preserved UBF thus far. The truth is that even his leadership was provided and sustained by the Spirit. Another aspect he has forgotten about is that not infrequently his own failings and mistakes drove UBF to unnecessary crises that threatened its validity and existence. (He thinks that all the attacks he received over the years are because he exclusively preached the gospel. But that argument is far from the truth. Many of these attacks came because of his various corrupt practices, his very suspicious use of offerings, the habit of bribery, physical violence, the habit of blaming the underlings for his own mistakes, and the like. Because of his unnecessary egotistic stubbornness, we are often labeled as a “cult,” thus making our future grim. It must be noted that we are not afraid at all to die for the Lord and we are confident that if we are attacked and falsely accused it is because we indeed preached the gospel with a clean conscience. That is why we have given up everything and come to this land. Do not say that we try to avoid suffering for the gospel. But we feel stupid and dumb when we know we suffer because of our own stupidity and arrogance.) But the Spirit, despite his failures and shortcomings, has kept and preserved UBF and made it grow better through adversities.

Fifth, UBF is a member of the body of Christ, that is, the Universal Church, whose head is Jesus Christ our Lord.

The Church, namely the body of Christ, has unity in that all the members belong to the one head. Just as a member, such as a hand or a foot, cannot live when it is severed from the rest of the body, UBF, when cut off from the rest of the body, cannot be a healthy and living organization. UBF has been as though it were all hand or all foot, because it has failed to recognize the needs to be united with other members of the body. Behind such an exclusive attitude lies the egotism of one person, whose upbringing has shaped him into a paranoid, compulsive and self-conceited person. His unhealthy personality has strongly shaped the character and ethos of UBF. That is why often excessive and unfounded elitism and “green-beret-ism” characterizes UBF. Such attitude is an organizational pride detrimental for the unity of the body of Christ. We believe that recognizing ourselves humbly and joyfully as part of the body of Christ prevents us from spreading the poison of such organizational and spiritual pride, which works deadly influence upon the body of Christ everywhere. (Various Christian groups are characterized by this kind of exclusive attitude. They usually cause division in the body of Christ. UBF also has committed this sin of exclusivism. Saying blatantly that Billy Graham is nothing, but he (Samuel Lee) is the one who changed American history (at the UBF USA staff meeting, Sept. 2000 in Chicago) shows how far this kind of exclusivism has distorted his view of himself and UBF. It has reached the dangerous point of self-delusion both personally and institutionally. Earlier, he resented that Rev. Han received The Templeton Award, because he believes that he was greater than Rev. Han and he should have gotten the award. He as well as UBF has become a silly little frog in a little pond, who thinks that little pond is the whole world.) After all, the church is a small community in a vast unbelieving world. We need each other and must learn to work with others to serve our Lord in the world.

Sixth, the Holy Spirit has endowed particular gifts to UBF that characterize it from others, namely campus ministry, one-on-one Bible study, disciple-making, and world mission.

UBF in general has been given by the Holy Spirit the gifts of campus ministry, one-on-one Bible study, disciple-making and world mission. These common traits, while binding all UBF chapters together, gave particular characteristics to UBF, which distinguish it from other organizations.

As the place of the Holy Spirit was gradually reduced to an insignificant one in the theology of UBF, these gifts, divorced from the Spirit, turned into business agendas and objectives of UBF. They no longer were understood as “gifts” but institutional methodologies, by which UBF would carry on its business. Further, they became the very elements by which UBF began to identify itself.

Initially, it seemed very smart to make such a move. But the fallout of such a move became all too clear over the years. It produced suffocating uniformity that stifled the quality growth of UBF. Satisfied with the initial success, the supreme leader further reinforced this uniformity by trying to mold, in the name of training, everyone’s thoughts, worldview, values and to a large measure, the character just like his. For this goal, he ordered every staff to copy his message and deliver it every week. He also made everyone in UBF write a testimony on the basis of his message every week. Consequently, everyone was gradually conditioned and molded to look at the world and faith through this one man’s eyes. His way was the way. (This was done in the pretext that without Newton there is no Einstein. The sad reality is that when everyone is talking about the theory of relativity, UBF staffs are still trying to understand Newton’s gravity. Without Newton we have Bill Gates.) Uniformity became the gospel of UBF. And UBF became an intellectually dull and weary place. (We can tell you we did not and do not look forward to our staff meetings. We would rather get stuck in the airplane for its cancellation or delay or on the freeway because of snowstorm. We hated to go to these meaningless gatherings.)

We believe that “true unity” need not be uniformity. Further, it needs to be clarified that in an absolute sense these gifts, campus ministry, one-on-one Bible study, and world mission, do not truly comprise the fundamental identity of UBF. Ultimately, these things are yet earthly and temporal. These things give a temporary identity of our group that the Spirit created for in this generation. (Earlier, when our el supremo was led by the Spirit and was not spiritually petrified, he often said that UBF would serve the purpose of God for our generation. He even said that if it was God’s will it was fine with him, even if UBF was to disappear. I do not know where such confidence in the Spirit has gone and now he is clinging to these things as though they were the only true gospel. He is sadly self-conceited.) Our confidence and hope at present moment is that the Spirit will continue to preserve UBF, as it has been. As long as the Spirit leads us through these gifts, we will obey him wholeheartedly and carry these out with conviction and dedication. Nevertheless, we do not and will not make the mistake of making these gifts something “absolute,” the mistake that has turned the gospel into work and the living gifts into uniform business objectives. Our faithfulness and commitment is with the Holy Spirit, whose guidance alone is absolute. Wherever the Spirit of Christ leads us, we will faithfully be there with all our hearts. We affirm that only with the Spirit, our future is wide open.

Seventh, the Holy Spirit has distributed various gifts within each UBF chapter among its members, so as to mold it into a community filled with fruits of the Spirit.

As the Holy Spirit establishes a church, he gives various gifts to its individual members, so that they can serve the body of Christ. The ultimate goal of distributing various gifts is to create the Christian community, the community that is filled with the fruits of the Spirit. Christian churches that reveal these fruits will most convincingly bear witness to its Lord Jesus Christ.

When UBF reduced the gifts of the Spirit to simple uniformity, the community became fundamentally a mission institution. The ultimate goal became to stimulate people’s productivity, namely to bring more people. The best way to achieve this objective was to make its members compete with each other. Competition to bring more “sheep” became the very driving force of UBF to success. Members competed among themselves; a group against another; a chapter against another; a region against another.

In the process, UBF lost its true Christian substance. It was Christian only in name and appearance, but its inner self was no different from a secular business firm. (A lay graduate fellowship member who later became a full-time staff member, due to the blessing of the Spirit upon his ministry, confessed he was shocked at the rampant jealousy and competitiveness among the staff members when he attended their meetings. Having experienced how secular work places function, he told some of the staff members that their gatherings were worse than those of secular business firms.) It was number, number, number, that counted most. It was so with almost every UBF chapter. (In order to lessen the pressure and stress that came from this competition, the supreme leader skillfully uses music, drama, and other things. But what could these artificial entertainment do when the fruits of the Spirit were taken away or placed in the backseat of the ministry?) Therefore, we sincerely advise each UBF chapter to relinquish the competition-oriented practice that has been manipulated for too long by one man but promote a Christian community that truly and genuinely reflects the image of Jesus Christ our Lord.

UBF must bring the theology of the Holy Spirit to the fore and recognize his sovereignty and his many gifts with which he equips the body of Christ. There are many gifts that are more important and precious than campus ministry, one-on-one Bible study, disciple-making, and world mission, though they may not seem so useful or practical for success. (We mean the gifts that truly hold the inner self of a community, such as virtue, compassion, helping the poor, ability to reconcile, making the atmosphere positive and bright, administrative ability, and the like, the gifts the Bible regards highly.)

Lest someone should falsely accuse us of promoting tongue speaking, which in our time causes so many painful divisions in the church, let us make it clear. We confess and uphold that whatever gifts the Bible speaks of should not be prohibited, but they should be carefully examined and utilized according to the biblical norms. No one gift, supernatural or natural, should be overly emphasized over the rest. All must be treated with equal respect and care, because they are, after all, gifts from God, not the product of our own making.

Eighth, UBF is a Christian community both in relation to and radically set apart from the world. This two-fold, paradoxical relationship must be carefully and faithfully maintained, so that we may be in the world but not of it.

The church is born not out of the world but in the middle of it. So, it is the church’s ongoing struggle to keep the delicate balance to the world and yet to radically separate from it. UBF started out, like many influential Christian organizations throughout history, with its strong emphasis upon the radical separation from the world. It rightly found the radical teachings of the gospel that commanded to give up personal comfort, worldly desires, love for money, and so on. Such a radical obedience to the gospel laid a firm foundation for the practical life and ethic of UBF. Even now, many young men and women courageously choose such a radical obedience to the gospel.

Nevertheless, UBF has failed to establish a proper relation to the world. The early church related itself to the surrounding world by showing the compassion of God for the poor, the helpless and the needy. But UBF leadership, now driven mostly by business sense, has failed to teach them how to relate to the world as Christians. As a result, even when people around us experience all kinds of suffering, we did not care for them as long as we found student “sheep” and UBF kept growing. (Such attitude is often seen among some missionaries overseas, who can scarcely find jobs. With the justification that these missionaries need living faith, they are simply left alone without any financial relief. Don’t we have the responsibility to help them become established financially in those lands where they are aliens and have no job opportunities? Do they not have enough difficulties by which they can learn living faith?) In a sense, we have become a callous and heartless organization that only cares about its own business.

The underlying philosophy of the supreme leader whose idea pervades in every aspect of UBF’s theology and practice is founded upon capitalism. To him, UBF ministry is a business venture for Christ. He transformed Jesus, who told the rich young man to sell everything, give it to the poor and follow him, into a greedy and money-collecting capitalist. (Is this the same Jesus who called Levi the tax collector out of collecting money into his savings to serving people?) He collects tithes from every chapter in the U.S. We also know that from other continents, even from the African continent, he collects tithes. A small chapter often sends the entire offering to Chicago. We did not know that the Jesus of UBF was so concerned about his organization’s income growth and was so happy that he now has several million dollars in savings. Perhaps this Jesus would love to have his image printed upon the green paper. Chicago UBF is like the Dead Sea. Everything goes in but nothing comes out. (Having seen the way money has been used, we now believe that it is not even his pure desire to indeed do good business for Christ but rather it is his love of money and his addiction to it. Although he claims to receive only moderate salary, the reality is that he is the only one who has access to the treasury. There have been demands to make public how the past offerings have been used, but he has totally ignored such demands. There are too many suspicions about how he deals with money. He is more concerned about IRS [the US tax agency] than with the saints’ approval. But isn’t the approval of the saints much more important in God’s sight than that of IRS? Wouldn’t the approval of the former represent that of God closely, since they are children of God? Most of all, what does collecting money from all over the world have to do with the radical calling of the gospel? Does Jesus ever call UBF to collect a huge sum of money? Doesn’t his command to the rich young man apply to UBF, too? Just because it is an organization, it does not have to listen to such a call?)

The leader’s suspicious behavior about money contradicts the radical call of the gospel that many people have faithfully obeyed. After many years of observation about his dealing with money, our conclusion is that he simply loves money.

Therefore, we call for the legitimate audit of all the accounts of offerings received all these years. Non-profit organization status should not be the covering for misuse of the precious offerings. We want an honest bookkeeping and annual report of how much came in and how it is used. Rather than heartless capitalism at the center of UBF, we want the compassion of God to be the guide. A considerable part of the money should be used to lessen the sufferings of the people, including some of the missionaries who have no way to find jobs in foreign countries. The radical nature of the gospel should be the controlling principle of UBF material life instead of capitalism. If not, we will be hypocrites who, while crying out for obedience to the gospel, practice money-loving capitalism.

Ninth, the basic structure of a church consists of worship, education, mission and help for the poor.

This is the basic structure of a church. Achieving health of a church depends upon how firmly these things are in place and how well they are practiced. But UBF’s main emphasis has been mission. Its effort for education has been one-sided for so long. And it has not had any significant theology for either worship or helping the poor. As a result, UBF has become a deformed body, which is passionate on mission and yet without mercy for the poor. We need to restore these four basic pillars for the spiritual health of UBF.

Worship: The Holy Spirit created the body of Christ, ultimately for the glory of God as it exalts and worships God for what God has done in Christ. But UBF’s worship service is the occasion for measuring one’s success every week by counting the number of attendants, because all the chapters have to report it to the headquarters. Worship is a time for everyone to give glory to God and Christ for the grace he has bestowed upon us and receive blessings through it. We must return to the basic aim of worship. Worship should become a joyful, free, and meaningful occasion where we meet our gracious God.

Education: So far, one man’s messages have shaped and even conditioned many people’s view about life and faith, view, ethics and so on. This view has been too narrow for UBF staffs and members to encounter the changing Korean ethos let alone the world. Now it is time for UBF to break out of the confinement of this monochromatic view and to spread out its wings and grow in depth and height and length and width. For this reason, it is imperative for staffs to receive theological education and go through a serious theological paradigm shift to face the future better prepared. It is also necessary to raise well-educated theologians, biblical scholars, historians, counselors, and the like, who can make worldwide contributions to the church of Christ. (Doesn’t anyone notice that those who left UBF have become respected and useful leaders in the Christian churches with better education? Why can’t we have such people? Why do they have to leave us to be such people?) We denounce some people’s efforts to get titles from shadowy institutions without actually earning the diploma. We must abandon this kind of dishonorable approach. Why not let some capable people receive good education from legitimate institutions? What kind of life philosophy does this kind of attitude teach to those who follow us? While we teach them to go the way of truth and the way of the cross, we find the lowest and laughable means to get a title. Why?

Lay members also must have opportunities to receive better spiritual nurturing. Unless these people are enlightened, the leaders will have too many opportunities to do wrong things without being criticized. But when they are properly enlightened, leaders will be helped because these people will keep the system of checks and balances in place. (Such an attitude has caused so many wrongs to be covered up and untreated. Not hurting sheep may come from good intention of loving them, but it proves to be a fatal mistake not to let the sheep know about the existing problems, because our good intentions prevented them from being enlightened. What kind of people will these sheep become? They think that there is no problem in UBF and their shepherds are like angels. We simply make them stupid rather than enlighten them. This will not do.)

Mission: We have sent 1,500 missionaries overseas. Yet, we recognize that most of them find it difficult to adjust to different cultures, customs, intellectual environment and so on. We need to think about how to effectively help these missionaries to adjust themselves there and be part of the society. Also, it is necessary for some of them to attend local seminaries to understand the spiritual climate of the society to be better equipped for mission work. We must have some missionaries who excel in their surroundings and leave a lasting spiritual legacy in their respective mission fields.

Furthermore, we need to help these missionaries to be able to think and analyze the culture, society, custom and traditions of the nations they went to. In this way, they can inform those who are at home of their mission in better ways than simply sharing our traditional mission report about how many sheep and how they struggled with them, although these things can be reported in a proper context.

Helping the poor: Helping and caring for the poor is the passion and compassion of God. It is how we relate ourselves to the unbelieving world, looking at those who are in need with the mercy and compassion of God. But due to our philosophy of mission as everything we have failed to exhibit God’s compassion to the world. After all, it is because God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son. Surely, helping the poor does not bring us tangible return. But do we always need to have some kind of return for every work we do? Have we become such calculating capitalists? Helping the poor is in a sense like a burnt offering. It is offered purely to God and it is gone to ashes. There is no return. But that is central to the sacrifices that please God most. Just as our tithing keeps us from becoming materially-oriented people, so does giving to the poor prevents our institutions from becoming materially obsessed, as UBF is at present. In this way, we can function as the salt and light of the world.

In conclusion, we want UBF to be reformed in tune with the gospel truth. We do not do so lightheartedly or in mere rebellion or for the sake of some kind of personal gain. We sincerely advocate reform but we do so because UBF’s basic theology and practice have gone astray from the gospel of grace. As we stated earlier, mission and obedience are two of the most significant biblical truths. Nevertheless, no matter how excellent or good these are, when they are treated as though they are everything there is about the gospel, these become a hindrance to the great truth of the gospel. The same attitude stands true with people. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a profound truth, too profound for any human intentions, no matter how good, to fathom it all, too deep for one man’s insight to reach to its depth. One man-centered system must go. Also, we want to suspend competition-oriented community life and build the community of love intended by the Spirit. We want to restore the joy and freedom of the gospel, as we passionately carry out mission to campuses and to the world. We want to give our whole and undivided loyalty to God not to erratic, deceitful and mortal people.

Our reform is about the hope, dream and vision for the future. We want to dare to dream these dreams again, because we know for certain that it is possible to achieve them. What is more, yes, we have been there, when the Spirit first gave birth to us. We are sure that the Spirit will not repeat exactly the same thing that took place earlier during the revival. History does not really repeat itself, but each event is unique by itself. We are sure of what the Spirit can do. He can create a new future, freeing us from all these human abuses, corruption and falsehood. He can give us new vision. That is what our reform is all about. For this reason, we have concluded that UBF needs to change, and especially its supreme leader needs to change and practice transparency and honesty about materials and power.

(source)

I am glad we were not required to pray 2 X 2 at every meeting. It is OK a few times.  I appreciate the group prayer.

Would I go again? Definitely.

There were some areas that need improvement. The messengers have to stay away from the old format that is repeated again and again.  We can not have the same sounding messages for decades. We need to abandon the “My wife is so beautiful!” phrase. Let people be themselves and greet the crowd as they would normally greet the crowd.

Several people, from different parts of the world repented of the same things, “an easy going life style.” When I heard the phrase I immediately thought of 1980’s UBF conferences. It is obviously a phrase introduced by the missionaries. I am not so sure that God wants us to live in constant state of mental and physical engagement anyways. In a few instances, those who had 10-20 1:1 Bible studies a week were praised. Teaching the Bible is good, but what about stopping to read a book or simply spending time with people with no agenda? Just being in a constant state of self denial is not the answer. It may be contributing to some peoples’ tunnel vision.

There was a need for more coffee. It was always out. I wish I knew there was a McDonald’s a ½ block away at the beginning of the conference.

The cost is prohibitive to some. A family, with several kids, may pay over $1,500 USD for the weekend. This includes travel expenses also. Not too many people can do this. It can only be done by someone who truly values the conference.

There was obviously a lack of young Americans who are converts to the faith. There were middle aged missionaries and shepherds and second generation children and missionary kids. Some people may say, “Well that is because people are not ‘feeding sheep’” or “That is because America is not sending out missionaries.” But it could be more than that. We need to discover why and respond in the right way.

There were opportunities for people to be short term missionaries. This is great. I wonder why people are not so excited about being short term missionaries in UBF and they are very excited to be short term missionaries in other ministries? Maybe it has to do with what happens when people go the mission field.  Is the work of the Holy Spirit allowed to blossom and flourish when they go? Is there too much focus on supporting another’s agenda?

There seemed to be a growing divide among the Koreans and the Americans. Missionaries need to become like the people in their mission field and not make the “Natives of the land” like them. Missionaries need to let Americans be American. They also need to respect American Christians and live incarnational lives among the Americans.  They need to stop thinking that Americans don’t “feed sheep” or “go out as missionaries.” They need to stop the divide from growing or they will become more irrelevant in the American context.  Maybe the older leaders need to step aside quicker and resist controlling things from the shadows.

There needs to be a decision on what this International conference is for. Is it for the missionaries? Is it for new converts? Is it for the college level shepherds? It seems to be a little something for everyone. That is OK. Should we get more specific on who we are trying to reach?

Please cause trouble!

Does the Pope’s exhortation ring true for UBF??? Sometimes I wonder if UBF is more interested in primarily catering to our missionaries and coddling our older UBF leaders, or are we truly focused on winning indigenous people to Christ and truly empowering them (rather than trying to control them, such as by giving them years of “message training,” which has sadly distorted the natural way that they would normally speak in their own native tongue).

Destabilizing the status quo. The church has attracted leaders of the worst kind: megalomanics, bullies and leaders who do not know how to form healthy relationships with their own members (sheep). Such leaders are toxic. They break bruised reeds (Mt 12:20; Isa 42:3) and wound others without apology, while claiming that they are shepherding them. But the church also attracts rebels for Christ’s cause. These latter kinds of people–the trouble makers–are the difference makers whom the Pope seem to be speaking to, for only trouble-makers destabilize the unhealthy status quo.

What might the lifestyle and character of a healthy spiritual trouble-maker look like? As I read this list, I wondered if any senior UBF leader has encouraged any of this among UBF people?

• Trouble-makers own their own spiritual growth, and do not rely on their church to be the primary place of spiritual formation in their lives.
• Trouble-makers do not wait to be asked by a pastor to use their spiritual gifts for the benefit of others in the Church. They aren’t especially concerned that the graces God gave them to give others may or may not fit on that congregational org chart on a wall in a church leader’s office. They do their level best to respect their leaders’ structures and authority, but they refuse to stop thinking for themselves or silencing the leading of the Holy Spirit.
• Trouble-makers are willing to ask and answer hard questions.
• Trouble-makers may not always have perfect manners, but are motivated by love. Love keeps trouble-makers from becoming full-on jerks.
• Trouble-makers recognize that Jesus is not calling them to form self-protective, cozy cliques.
• Trouble-makers worship God, recognizing that adoration is the ultimate act of disruption.
• Trouble-makers ask the Holy Spirit to test their motives. They understand if they have a sense of entitlement or a rush toward self-justification about an issue, they’ve probably veered off course somewhere.
• Trouble-makers understand that transformation – their own and the Bride to whom they belong – always requires more courage than they currently possess. Dependence on God fuels their willingness to disrupt the stale status quo.

Isn’t it beautiful that “adoration is the ultimate act of disruption”? Based on these characteristics, I am prompted to ask some hard questions:

• Does senior UBF leaders welcome trouble-makers, or do they try to silence them?
• Does UBF encourage initiative or do they create a spirit of dependency on UBF?
• Does UBF encourage critical thinking or expect unquestioning submission?
• Do UBF leaders encourage asking hard questions, or to defer to them for answers?
• Are some top UBF leaders too comfortable with their own positions of power and leadership, which they have held for decades and counting?
• Are they in a self-protective oligarchy that seems determined to preserve the status quo?

• Or are they willing to truly entrust authority to indigenous leaders different from them and trust the Holy Spirit (Jn 3:8)?

Have all trouble-makers left UBF (or were forced out)? Is anyone left in UBF who is willing to boldly be a trouble-maker to disrupt the stale status quo? Is leaving UBF the most appealing option for trouble-makers? Do you agree with the Pope that we should make trouble?

The Summit

The summit was, in simplistic terms, 16 hours of sitting and listening to 13 speakers. My wife and I attended (for the first time) from our church in Detroit, which is a satellite host for the summit. However, I can’t remember even 1 minute of boredom or of wanting to fall asleep or of wishing I was somewhere else. I soaked up every speaker like a sponge. The summit was exactly where God wanted me to be for those two days.

In addition to the highlighted speakers, there were several others who made appearances in between. Comedian Michael Jr.  shared some of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard. He might just be the funniest man on planet earth right now. David Garibaldi shared an amazing painting experience, preaching the gospel with no words.  William Close played the “earth harp”, an astounding instrument set up inside the Willow Creek auditorium.

The nature of the leadership talks seemed to me to blend academia, business and religious backgrounds, with the explicit Christian gospel themes woven through each one. The official summit link is here: http://www.willowcreek.com/events/leadership/schedule.asp

It is difficult for me to express my “take-away’s” from this summit. Breathtaking. Exhilarating. Amazing. Astounding. Life-changing. Christ-centering. It will take some time to process, and I plan on ordering the DVD’s.

The Speakers

Bill Hybels. Founder and senior pastor, Willow Creek Community Church. Bill’s church has 24,000 weekly attendees. His opening talk set the tone for the summit. I was surprised by one of his opening statements: “This leadership summit will be unashamedly Christian. We will pray. We will quote from the bible. And we will sing. But this summit is not for Christians only. We welcome anyone of any faith and anyone who has not made faith part of their life story yet.” I had not expected this. And since Willow Creek has more than 24,000 weekly worshippers, I was surprised to hear Bill talk about how the leadership team overcame a time of being a toxic environment in recent years. Bill’s team reached out to an external party to gauge how they were doing. The external survey showed they scored in the toxic range of organizational health. So he sounded the alarm and they made the tough decisions to get back on track. This year they scored a rare high-mark in organization health. I learned that leaders have to sometimes say goodbye to other leaders in order to make the organization healthy. And leaders must define the core values of their organization.

General Colin Powell. Speech title: “It worked for me.” Former U.S. Secretary of State, senior level advisor to four Presidents, served U.S. Army for 35 years. Colin was surprisingly human and open. I expected an army general to be stiff and cold. He is nothing like that. One story he told was how he once complained a long time to President Reagan. Reagan said nothing until Colin was finished. Finally Reagan said “Look there’s a squirrel outside the window!”. Later Reagan taught him the lesson. You can sit there and tell me all day about your problem, but until I have a problem, don’t get me involved. I hired you to do a job. Now go solve your problem and let me know when I have a problem.”

Patrick Lencioni. Speech title: “How to lose your best people.” Founder and President of The Table Group, best-selling author. Patrick shared a high-energy, hilarious talk about a serious subject. He noticed over the years that people left jobs and churches for one or more of three primary reasons, regardless of culture: irrelevance, immeasurement or anonymity. He admitted that “immeasurement” is not a word. But it fits what he called a lack of feedback or sometimes improper feedback. People want to know how they are doing, and be able to tell for themselves. Human beings don’t want to wait around for “how their boss feels” or wait for the numbers to come in. Human beings want the gratification of knowing they did a good job. In other words, people are looking for fulfillment. And leaders want to know right away if they failed. He told of how leaders who are afraid of failure or think failure is not an option are bad leaders. For example, several successful companies actually measure how many times you fail, as a measurement for success. If you are not failing enough, you aren’t learning how to succeed. Some venture capitalists won’t fund you unless you failed at least 3 times for at least $1 million.

Liz Wiseman. Speech title: “The Multiplier Effect”. President of the Wiseman Group, best-selling author. Liz’ talk was not flashy but was perhaps the most thought-provoking. She shared with compassion and a genuine love for humanity. She talked about leaders who are multipliers and leaders who are diminishers. A diminisher is someone who gets very little effort or talent out of people around them. They are the empire builders, the tyrants, the know-it-alls, the decision makers and the micro managers. A multiplier gets double and triple effort and talent. They are the talent magnets, the liberators, the challengers, the debate-makers and the investors. Diminishers will kill off their organizations while multipliers will always eventually find their way to success.

Chris Brown. Speech title: “Right title…wrong kingdom”. Co-Senior Pastor and Teaching Pastor at North Coast Church. This was tied for my favorite talk of the conference (Andy Stanley’s being the other one). Really, Chris Brown gave a sermon, not a talk or a speech. I cried the most during his sermon because he spoke so powerfully and every word he spoke rang so true. Based on Mark 10:42-25, he obliterated the Moses or Elijah style leadership models. Jesus said “Not so with you”. Jesus turned leadership upside-down. If you model Moses, you model the world’s way of leading now that Jesus has demonstrated His style of leadership. Even a Pharaoh who didn’t know the Lord knew Jesus’ style of leadership (in dealing with Joseph) better than Saul, the anointed king of Israel. You just have to listen to this one.

Bob Goff. Speech title: “Love Takes Action”. Founder and CEO of Restore International, attorney. Bob Goff gets the prize for the most energetic and fanatical speech! He told humorous stories about his life on an island (yes he lives on an island). And he also spoke with passion and compassion about one of the most heart-wrenching events I’ve ever heard in a long while. He was the attorney for Charlie, the child attacked by the infamous Koby. Bob told of amazing acts of kindness, as well as unimaginable forgiveness. Bob’s point is that “love does stuff”. Love demands action. Love requires us to get involved in the terrible evils of the world. His talk was similar to an earlier talk he gave: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo1jHeIn3TE

Mark Burnett. Speech title: “Unscripted Leadership”. Four-time Emmy Award winner, Executive Producer of Survivor, The Voice and The Bible TV shows. Mark’s time was not a speech but an interview with Bill Hybels. I enjoyed the dialogue-style speaking between them. This style was used several times during the Summit. Mark talked about how he courageously took his fame and fortune and poured it into the Bible series project recently.

Joseph Grenny. Speech title: “Mastering the skill of influence”. Co-founder of VitalSmarts, best-selling business author. Joseph gave a detailed talk about influence, one of the key abilities leaders need to understand. He talked about how leaders tend to focus on motivating people instead of influencing them. Motivating is important, but teaching skills is the primary influencer. He used God’s preparing of Moses in the palace and God’s preparing of Joshua learning from Moses as examples that God’s ways are about teaching skills first and then motivating people at the right time. Joseph taught from both a “heavy” example of behavior change involving changing the behavior of third-world prostitution and a “light” example of influencing the behavior of traffic laws. One amazing example he gave was about a traffic law enacted in some state in the U.S. A lot of people ignored the law until the officials posted a sign that said “Report violators, call 1-800-be-a-hero” (or something to that effect). The point was when people know other people are watching them, their behavior is influenced.

Vijay Govindarahan (“VG”). Speech title: “The Innovation Challenge: Getting it right”. Top 50 Management Thinker, Professor at Dartmouth’s Tuck School of Business. Vijay gets the top award for the most complex talk. He talked a lot about ways leaders can sustain an organization. He used a “three box” model. He taught that leaders need to manage the present, selectively abandon the past, and create the future.  He talked about how organizational leaders must create separate (but loosely connected) team that plays by different rules than the “box 1” (or performance engine) part of the organization. Leaders need to create innovation teams. Leaders and organizations must re-invent themselves regularly in order to stay alive.

Dr. Brene Brown. Speech title: “Daring Greatly”. Research Professor at University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. Brene is a ground-breaking researcher into the topics of shame, worthiness and courage. She talked about how she once was invited to speek to a group of C-Level people. At first she was comfortable with this because she thought the term was “sea-level” people, meaning ordinary, down-to-earth people. She shared how she overcame fear when she realized “C” actually meant CEO, CIO, CTO, etc. She shared how leaders are human, how vulnerability is essential for any leader and how courage is so needed among leaders. She had a life-changing moment after reading the famous quote by Theodore Roosevelt about daring greatly.

Oscar Muriu. Speech title: “Viral Leadership: Multiplying your impact exponentially”. Senior Pastor of Nairobi Chapel, Kenya. Under his leadership, Nairobi Chapel grew from a 40 person local church to a network of 30 churches with 14,000 weekly worshippers. Oscar shared based on 5 life-changing principles. They sounded very familiar to me and were based on the command to “go into all the world and preach the good news.” He talked of sending African missionaries to all parts of the world, including America and Asia. He told the story of how he would pray for leaders without telling them he was praying for them to be leaders. One by one, people would come to him saying “I feel compelled to be a missionary”. He told of one couple who asked if they could devote the next 25 years of their life to being a Christian missionary in Oscar’s church network. He talked of how their missionaries train for 1 or 2 years. They stay in a country for 5 years to plant a church and then leave to plant another church, following Apostle Paul’s example.

Dr. Henry Cloud. Speech  title: “Reversing the Death Spiral of a Leader”. Acclaimed leadership expert, best-selling author, Clinical Psychologist and Businessman.  Dr. Cloud has experience in executive coaching of CEO’s. He has been a frequent contributor to CNN and Fox News Channel. Once Henry asked a CEO about culture problems in a company. As the CEO mentioned reason after reason about why the problems existed, Henry kept asking “Why?”. Finally the CEO concluded that he was in charge of the problems, whether he created them or not. Here are some quotes from Dr. Cloud: “In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: What you create and what you allow”. Leaders are “ridiculously in charge” according to Dr. Cloud, and so they are prone to being burned out and depressed. He talked about examples from Wall Street when the financial markets crashed around 2008. He talked about why the culture of an organization exists the way it is. He says it is because of the way the leaders behave. Dr.Cloud gave some behavior research examples, which I think made the audience a bit uncomfortable, because the research was from many years ago when animals were used. One example was of a monkey alone in a cage subjected to lights and sounds meant to induce stress. The monkey’s stress level was very high when he was alone. But when a second, familiar monkey was in the cage with him, their stress decreased by 50%. Dr.Clouds’ point was that people need a friend to get out of the downward spiral. He talked about principles to get out of the death spiral.

Andy Stanley. Speech title: [Andy gave a closing sermon just entitled “closing session”]. Founder and Senior Pastor at North Point Ministries. Andy pastors one of the largest churches in America, with over 33,000 worshippers each Sunday in his network of church campuses in the Atlanta area. Andy’s sermon was based on Matthew 16:18 “And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.” It was a sermon of sermons, a sermon so inspiring that I believe he just re-ignited Christianity in North America.

When I shared my concerns about the international conference, little did I realize that it would become the second most commented article with over 350 comments. Several friends and family in UBF shared with me privately that they felt as though I threw them under the bus with my “negative” article. For this I am sorry. My intent was my hope and prayer that some of the negative experiences from past UBF conferences would be seriously addressed and improved upon, which I think did happen to some degree.

Though I did not attend the ISBC, I watched some of it on live streaming. This would be good for those (introverts such as myself) who would rather watch in the comfort of my home while babysitting with my wife. From what I saw and heard:

• The music and band was good. Though I did not see it, I heard that the New York band was very good. The Lincoln Park band which I saw twice on Sat night and Sun morning was awesome. The violin solo by Joy Vucekovich was excellent.
• The video presentation of the continents was generally good, though gc expressed his “most disappointing observation”.
• The basketball tournament generated tons of interest and sheer excitement.
• The 40 separate interest groups on Saturday afternoon generated much positive buzz and good reports. I saw the marriage powerpoint presentation of Kevin and Julie Jasmer which is very very good. I would highly recommend this for all married couples. Mark Mederich shared that Andy/Waterloo did a nice job of presenting about the work of the Holy Spirit.
• Several people expressed to me that the testimony of an American missionary on Friday afternoon was the highlight of the conference and very very moving.
• That over 100 people responded to the altar call on Saturday night was encouraging (though I am personally not a “fan” of the altar call, which was popularized by Charles Finney during the Second Great Awakening and by Billy Graham).
• I heard of a second gen who was a professed atheist who began breaking down in tears and coming back to faith in Christ.
• I know of not a few “unknown UBFers” who worked their butt off (with no political agenda) to serve the conference in countless ways behind the scenes. Though they may be exhausted and burnt out from overwork, yet they did so willingly simply because they love Jesus, and they love His church. They are my heroes.

Clearly, God is alive and at work at the ISBC. But there are also the less favorable comments, which primarily have to do with the sermons, the life testimonies and the “training.”

• Sheepherd1 felt that “this conference is a really blessed one” and also said: “To be honest, the testimony sharers and the messengers were very unnatural to the way they deliver their messages. They almost sounds the same and same tone of speech. My other observation is that people seem to mention the word “training” a lot in this conference.” – Read the entire comment here.
• Sibboleth shared similar and other concerns: “The messages are essentially the same tired ones I heard many years ago. (Moran did try to change it up a little, God bless ‘im). The life testimonies follow the same formula they did many years ago. You thought they sounded flat? I did too. That’s because they were flat. Where’s the depth? They produced flashy promotional videos that contained zero honesty about the troubled history of UBF in places like Canada and Germany. Honesty is depth. Where’s the depth?”
• Chris shared that UBF conferences glorifies UBF rather than God: “Isn’t showing all the ‘greatness’ of UBF also a sign of pride? Sure, outwardly, they wrap it as ‘all the Glory to God’ and appear to be humble, but in reality, all this glory goes to UBF.”

Understandably, unfavorable comments of those who are still in UBF were made anonymously. Perhaps, someday soon they may be made openly and publicly in UBF without any fear of retribution, shaming, gossip, humiliation, “training,” and marginalization.

I have intentionally shared many good things about the 2013 ISBC. For sure, the Holy Spirit was working in the hearts of many who participated and attended, seemingly more so among the younger generation.

Would you also care to share your HOT reflections and thoughts?

Why do we need such a distinction between good and bad shepherding? It is because every Christian’s default is on the left side of the table. Without the work of the Spirit and the spirit of humility no one falls on the right side apart from Christ. For instance, the 12 UBF spiritual legacies itemized by Brian have tremendous potential for good. What Christian will ever say, “I disagree that we should go back to the Bible”? The problem entirely lies with the way a shepherd or UBF leader understands the phrase “go back to the Bible,” and the way he/she applies and implements it. All the problems of “go back to the Bible” or any of the 12 UBF legacies depend entirely on the way the shepherd/leader understands them and applies them to his/her chapter.

Is this contrast clear and self-evident?

Can you add any further distinctions between these 2 kinds of shepherding?

Reference: Shepherding Sheep (Mt 20:25-28).

I was wondering what you guys think about the church. Should loving others be secondary to evangelism? When I was asked about the church ministry I mentioned that loving God and others is the more important issue than how we can increase our numbers in our chapter through evangelism. The director agreed, but then asked, “How can we love others if there are no new people?” There are two issues with this statement/question.

Secondly, he views loving others in the following ways: as something we are already doing since we are disciples/shepherds/bible teachers, or that we don’t need to put our conscious effort into loving others and make it a priority, or that it is secondary to the great commission and the raising of disciples.

These are some thoughts and questions that I have:

Is love, community and fellowship implicitly present in a church so that we just need to focus on how we can share the gospel, convert people, raise disciples and grow in number?

Is the church’s main purpose to raise up disciples, or is it the gathering place of sinners who are saved by grace through faith in Jesus, who come to worship the living God, and love each other?

Doesn’t evangelism come from the love we first received from God, which then overflows into love for others?

If we focus on love and the gospel I believe that the Great Commission will naturally follow from it. But if we put the great commission first and overlook love, or think that love follows the great commission, I think that is incorrect.

What would you do if a director agrees with what you say in theory, but in practice still pushes for the UBF slogan and practice of “raising disciples” as the main goal and priority?

This is the first article in a series I’ve entitled “Sophomoric Musings”. I view my musings as sophomoric for two reasons. The first is that the word sophomore is Greek in origin meaning ‘wise fool’. I’ve lived as a Christian for a little over ten years now. While I feel as though I have amassed some experience that may deem me as relatively wise, in reality I’m still a pretty foolish person. I don’t see things objectively, so my musings are infused with a bit of quackery as well as insight due to just having lived up until this point. Secondly, the term sophomore refers to a stage just above the novice or freshman level. These days, I feel as though I’ve entered into the second phase of my Christian life. I’m not sure if I can say exactly when or where the transition happened (the Red Line stop at Belmont on July 10^th… nah forget it), but I definitely feel as though I’ve had a major paradigm shift as of late in terms of how I relate to Christ, His church and the world around me. This post is an articulation of what I’ve been feeling as of late. Hope you enjoy or even cry preferably tears of joy, but I’m not averse to those induced by sheer terror either; all I can say is that Dr. Ben taught me well in this regard.

On www.ubfriends.org we’ve all been struggling to articulate what exactly it is we desire to occur in UBF. We all have dreams and wishes and quite often, they fail to come to fruition in this lifetime. However, the process of imagining them unfold perhaps keeps us somewhat sane. A dream I’ve conjured up has to do with the beginning of change. Actually change occurs beneath the surface and behind the scenes but usually it burgeons forth in some kind of inaugural moment. So what I’m imagining is that particular moment. It would be in the form of a sermon given by a prominent pastor/leader in UBF (insert any figure you have a preference for).

Some Like it HOT

It’s a hot, stuffy, bright day in the afternoon; the sun is shining through the windows and brilliantly reflecting off of the adjacent wall, illuminating all of the intricate crevices etched into the stucco over time. The sun light almost looks heavenly, angelic as it configures into a neatly ordered, splayed-line pattern due to being fractured by the window blinds. The ceiling fans are spinning quietly while the AC motor is pushing cooled air through the vents at a low and steady hum. Hot, but bearable; to my dismay, not hot enough for me to doze off. The sanctuary is packed with about four hundred people or so, stuffy with must and all of those peculiar summer scents; the smell of perfume and cologne become amplified in this heat and that sneeze smell seems to travel at least ten times more now than it does when dispersed in cold air. The pastor is supposed to be delivering a sermon on the Great Commission in what would be an otherwise predictable lecture for most UBF members. I’m about to go into autopilot mode, thinking about what I have to do to get ready for work on Monday. I also keep fixating on this unsightly stain on the back of the chair of one of the parishioners. “What is that?” I ask myself, maybe a smear of chocolate or something less savory. Man, I would like some chocolate right about now, I think to myself. Looking up at the Pastor in his three piece suit and tie, with my eyes ready to glaze over, I listen to the words slowly tumbling out of his mouth, more like slow pouring molasses on a warm summer day. I notice that his demeanor is somewhat hesitant, uneasy this time around, which is unusual. He looks very forlorn but determined to stand in the pulpit and deliver his message. He seems to have a one thousand pound burden weighing him down. This makes me perk up and open my ears to listen. He begins to speak (the rest of this post is his sermon).

Today, I was prepared to give a sermon on the Great Commission. Throughout the years this has been the linchpin of UBF ministry. Many people have come to our ministry because of it and also many have left because of it. Well today, I’d like to take a little detour from what I initially began to write about Jesus’ statement in Matthew chapter twenty eight, verses eighteen and nineteen. For some time, the Gospel, the pure grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and all of its implications has been working in my heart in a new way. I’ve been struggling with how to articulate my feelings about this, but today I believe that I have something very important to say that will perhaps shape the context of our ministry for years to come.

I’ve thought about some of the misguided things that our ministry has done in the past, things which I used to justify.  And while over the past few years I’ve apologized somewhat for these things, I know in my heart of hearts that a genuine apology has never been given from me or others in senior positions. This truth came to a head recently when somehow the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to see how injurious many aspects of UBF’s ideology actually are. While God blessed us in many ways with a unique mission, we have also egregiously sinned against God and against His precious sheep in various ways. Not only do I have a deep sense of anguish and remorse about this, but many others, both former and current members, are coming forth baring their hearts and seeking some semblance of remorse from long time UBF leaders. I deeply apologize that both I and they have been silent for so long. Perhaps in private conversations we have even vented our angst concerning the ministry and even apologized, but publicly we have never attempted to disclose such things. I stand before you today and state with a spirit of deep contrition, repentance and earnestness, that our ministry is indeed very broken. (He pauses as if on the verge of shedding a tear; the sanctuary is captivated in stunned silence).

In the rest of my talk today, I’d like to share my thoughts on why this is the case and some possible remedies. To be honest, I don’t have this written down in sermon form; what I speak to you today is from my heart and I would like to engage all of you in the most genuine manner possible. Shep… I mean John (authors’ note: not actual name of a person), (at this moment, John looks up at the pastor, mouth agape and eyes widely transfixed upon him) I want to do away with these foolish titles, what I’m saying is that I’d like to talk to you today… to you… to all of you from the earnestness of my heart. It’s time to shed all of these facades. Let me continue with my train of thought on some of our problems.

Yes, We Admit it, Soylent… Green… is… Made of People

(An Admission of Gross Wrongdoing)

Specifically, I believe a significant portion of negative aspects in our ministry stems from our narrow definition of the word ‘ministry’ (he makes quote signs with his fingers as he’s saying this). Particularly, we’ve relegated our ministry mainly to the campus setting. Focusing on campus ministry is what worked for us in the past; as you all know, it is the very foundation of our ministry. But the problem is that we trusted in and chose the foundation of campus ministry more than the foundation of Christ and the Gospel. Not only this, but we’ve enforced our view of ministry with an uncompromising, iron-like fist. We have abused our positions of authority in order to keep our legalistic view of the gospel intact. Because of this, many espoused and suffered from an injuriously myopic view of ministry. The stories of personal tragedy are simply gut-wrenching and in some cases too much to bear without shedding many tears; the abuse is on a catastrophic level that no one should have to bear; in fact, Christ died in order to take up such wounds and burdens. Not only that, but because we have never sufficiently acknowledged or addressed this problem, these tragedies still occur today, though perhaps unbeknownst to many here, even to some of our young leaders who should be in the know. This being the case, more than anything, I would like our ministry to focus on inward healing as well as conscientiously contacting those who have left the ministry in the hopes of building bridges aright with them.

Before we hold another international or staff conference, I would like us to focus exclusively on this effort. Even to those who are in foreign mission fields, I’m not asking that they stop doing missions, but that they partner with us and acknowledge that our ministry has grave problems that can no longer be ignored. One thing I have in mind is redefining what UBF’s mission is. At the website www.ubfriends.org, as on online community in Christ, former and current members have been sifting through and trying to interpret the good, bad and ugly aspects of our UBF heritage, it’s really quite interesting. Anyway, upon reviewing some of the former statements about these heritage points by our own UBF leaders (www.ubf.org/node/155) in conjunction with reading ubfriends blogs and comments, I have concluded that our internal doctrine is woefully, woefully misguided and needs immediate revision. Surely, there is some truth contained in them, but the first and foremost heritage point should be adherence to the gospel of God’s grace. I’m not sure about how to redefine the rest of our heritage points and to be honest I don’t really care. For far too long, the gospel given by Christ has been overshadowed by these eight or twelve heritage points. If I were to take a page from Martin Luther’s legacy, I would post one thesis: the Gospel of God’s grace.

I Don’t Want Your Money; I Want Change

I’m not sure how all of this will unfold, but I believe that this is the very long, overdue and necessary starting point to rebuilding UBF’s foundation rightly. Just to give some specifics of what necessarily has to change, I want to give some directives that I hope you will find beneficial. First of all, today, you may or may not choose to stay after service and pray two by two; you can pray in groups or however you like (some in the congregation let out a snicker, a chortle or nervous laughter, looking at each other as if to confirm that they all heard what the pastor just said). In terms of ministerial practice, if you have conviction about seeing your home or your workplace or any other place as your mission field, please with our blessing serve with the grace of our Lord Jesus there. You are no longer relegated or tied to the campus to do ministry there; please feel free to serve anywhere as you see fit. (literally a millisecond after the pastor is finished, one of the older missionaries shouts out, “This is heresy!” and storms out. The pastor momentarily loses his composure, but regains it and continues on with heightened resolve). Moreover, if you believe that God has called you to do social justice ministry, we will wholeheartedly support you in this endeavor. Actually, we would like to do something revolutionary. We would like to have committees to oversee each of these areas, that is the home, workplace and urban evangelization. Not only these areas but any other area you propose, we are willing to let you have the freedom to build up these ministries under the UBF banner. Also, we would like to encourage you to visit other churches and build relationships with those outside of UBF. You don’t have to come here every Sunday; take some time to explore the rest of the Christian world. This may come as a grave shock to many of you, but I’m telling you, get out and get to know other people besides UBF people (at this, the crowd begins to stir and talk to each other in disbelief at the statements coming from the pastor’s mouth). In all of this, we just ask that you not use your freedom in the Spirit as an excuse to do evil, but rather to love. In this way, we want to become a multi-faceted, healthy church which is what many have vied for and advocated in the past as well as present.

In the coming weeks we would like to launch a series entitled, “What is the Gospel?” For many years, we have presumed to know what the gospel means but it is obvious that we need to go back to the basics and learn the truth about the very crux of Christianity. We will also hold workshops on how to practically apply the gospel in all of our various relationships. We will not look to UBF heritage to define the Gospel; rather we will look to the Bible, church history and also the current work of many contemporary theologians and pastors who have exclusively focused on this issue. Any major conference will have this theme from now on. I don’t know for how long, perhaps until Jesus comes. But by the authority given to me by the Chief Shepherd Jesus Christ, as a lowly under shepherd of His church, I am resigned to teaching you only about His Gospel, as explained by the whole of Scripture in both the Old and New Testaments, until the day I die. If I ever, ever step out of line and Lord authority over you or try to take the place of the Chief Shepherd, I will submit to church discipline and if need be resign; this is how seriously I take my commitment to purity and integrity in leading you.

Chicken Wings and Drinks On Me

Lastly, some practical advice, not a command, to you today is this: If you have children or family that you have not seen for some time because you have been so busy with ministry, please go home and hug them. Tell them that you love them and that they are more important than any mission, that in fact they are the mission; your mission is to love them with the love of Christ. For older missionaries who have strained relationships with children who have either left the church or have remained in a begrudging manner, please call them and apologize to them; tell them that you are sorry and that your only desire is for them to know the grace of our Lord Jesus. I give this advice to any shepherds who have wounded young students in the past. Also, for those who are peers, if you have any grudges, please don’t delay coming to the cross to reconcile; this is much more important than the work of campus ministry or any other endeavor that you wish to undertake.

From now on, we will listen to any and every story of abuse or misfortune you have suffered because of UBF. In fact, we want to hold both open and private forums for such dialogue to occur. We can do this over a meal in someone’s house or in the sanctuary right here before this giant cross emblem. Yes, as leaders, we might initially become defensive or even angry at some of the assertions, because these things are very difficult for us to face and own up to. But we give you our word, we will hear you out and we will seek real reconciliation to the best of our ability. We will shed tears with you and talk for many, many hours. However long it takes, we will seek to understand you and come to a solution at the foot of the cross.

These are very trying times for our ministry, but something such as what I laid out today absolutely must take place if we are going to do right by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. May the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you today.  Oh and lastly, if you want to go out and have a beer, drinks on me at Hawkeyes near UIC; can’t beat the ten cent wings either. We can ride my purple dragon, Bubbles there (author’s note: hey, I did say this was a dream). Thank you and God bless you.

On the Verge of Waking Up

Many of the parishioners are clueless as to what to do; even the piano player is at a loss as to what hymn to begin playing. “How about we just end service right here?” the pastor says. Some people remain in their seats in shock, others begin to file out and discuss what they have just heard. At the same time, a long line forms beginning at the podium where the pastor once stood and terminates at the rear sanctuary door. Personally, I’m puzzled as to what exactly just happened, but at the same time I feel as though precisely what I dreamed of wanting to transpire just came to fruition. It’s hard to believe this because dreams are often illusory and hard to remember, seemingly impossible to grasp. I think to myself, perhaps this is just another one of those dreams. I sooth myself with the notion that whatever occurs on this side of heaven will always be imperfect and bittersweet, but what will happen on the other side is in fact beyond our wildest and most imaginative dreams for it is a reality grounded in truth and perfect justice, authored by God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit in whom there is nothing false or malicious.

Concluding Remarks

Some may not appreciate the humor put forth in this article; I haven’t tried my hand much at it so maybe it’s a bit off… or way off. But the reason for the levity is captured best by a quote from Elton Trueblood in his wonderful little book entitled The Humor of Christ,

“Any alleged Christianity which fails to express itself in gaiety, at some point, is clearly spurious. The Christian is gay not because he is blind to injustice and suffering, but because he is convinced that these, in the light of the divine sovereignty are never ultimate. He is convinced that the unshakeable purpose is the divine rule of all things, whether of heaven or earth (Eph. 1:10). Though he can be sad, and often is perplexed, he is never really worried. The well-known humor of the Christian is not a way of denying the tears, but rather a way of affirming something which is deeper than tears.”

Also, I now write even more than when I was writing one testimony every week. Presently, I write out and post one sermon a week on westloop-church.org (which I do not read on Sun since I prefer to preach extemporaneously). I also blog or comment on UBFriends almost daily. My 27 years of weekly testimony writing surely helped my writing and blogging today. Thank God for 27 years of testimony writing! Thank God that I am also now so elated that I’m also done with it for good.

The greatest joy of no longer writing testimonies is that I am reading so much more. I also listen to preaching online, preferring reformed preaching primarily. I have read more Christian books since I stopped writing testimonies in the last few years than I did for the preceding three decades. Reading has helped me to broaden and deepen my understanding of the Bible and Christianity, which was quite poor. For instance, I thought I knew the Bible very well since I read the Bible daily and wrote testimonies every week for over a quarter of a century. But when I began to read, I realized how limited my knowledge of the Bible was, both in scope and depth. I also love to read blogs, especially related to Christianity, movies, sports and food.

Since I stopped writing testimonies I also no longer judge UBF people based on whether or not they write their testimonies. When I was writing and sharing testimonies weekly, I always (inwardly) felt annoyed by those who did not write or share their testimonies. Now I am happy to embrace and enjoy anyone regardless of their testimony writing status! This seems like a small thing, but it is exhilarating to me to inclusively welcome everyone in the gospel, rather than to feel annoyed by some simply because of a sense of exclusivity, elitism and superiority based on whether or not a person writes their testimony!

In future blogs I may also share how my Christian life has been enriched beyond measure since I’m also done with…

• fishing,
• going to the campus,
• preparing Bible study binders,
• having 1:1 Bible studies,
• restricting dating among singles,
• teaching “marriage by faith,”
• giving “message training,”
• “training” people,
• attending “mandatory” meetings,
• attending conferences,
• addressing friends with titles,
• studying UBF messages, etc.

I am done with all of the above and more because the gospel is the gospel of freedom (Gal 5:1; 2 Cor 3:17). Is it truly true that the truth will truly set you free? (Jn 8:32) Are you truly free in Christ alone?

I hope that UBF leaders will at least begin to LISTEN to what the UBF system has done. I copied their 10 points:

1. Less self-confidence: I have less self-confidence. This is directly from the focus on my sin for 20 years. (Is it because UBF leaders hold their sheep’s sin over them?)

2. Hinders a relationship with God: I am floundering in developing a relationship with God. It was good to understand that simply doing things did nothing for my relationship with God, but it is has been hard to develop ways to bring me closer to God. (Is it because UBF focuses on works, performance and behavior?)

3. Hinders relationships with people: It has been a hindrance in my relationships with people. Trust is definitely the issue here. Also, I never had time to develop healthy relationships, even with my wife and children, so this is new ground. (Is it because the UBF leader does not build relationships with their sheep, and instead primarily gives direction and orders?)

4. Becoming critical: It has been hard to find a healthy church-my experiences have made me overly critical. (Is it because the UBF leader is critical rather than gracious?) (For 1-4, see more at: http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/06/29/puppets-on-a-string/#comment-8995)

5. Difficulty in making my own decisions: I had so much direction in UBF that I struggle now in making a large decision on my own. (Do UBF leaders make decisions for their sheep? For instance, make them go to a conference when they don’t want to or can’t afford it?)

6. Tendency to please people: Not speaking until I have discerned what I’m expected to say, not acting until I know what’s the norm, how people will react, thinking about people’s reaction more than what God’s will is. (Is it because the UBF leader impresses upon you that you have to please them?)

7. Confusion and loss of identity: Confusion over what my family’s “mission” or role is within Christ’s church and within the local church also. Before we were clearly a “house church” and “shepherd family,” but what are we now? There’s a loss of identity as a family. (Is it because the UBF leader tells you who you should be, rather than allow you to discover for yourself who you are in Christ?) (For 5-7 see more at: http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/06/29/puppets-on-a-string/#comment-8995)

8. How to be a husband. (Did the UBF leader model how to be a husband who loves his wife?)

9. How to be a father. (Did the UBF leader model how to be a father who does not exasperate his children, or his sheep?)

10. How to have an outlet for what I’ve learned. (For 8-10 see more at: http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/06/29/puppets-on-a-string/#comment-8995)

Can anyone add to this list?

Why has the UBF system caused this? My simplistic answer is the need by UBF leaders to have control over others, which is the root of sin of every human being. (I think that UBF needs to begin teaching that the root of sin is to desire control over God and others.) The need for control is in fact a much greater sin in older Christian leaders than in young sheep. Will UBF ever learn to let go of their need for control? Do UBF leaders truly believe that the Holy Spirit knows better what to do with UBF than they do?

Finally, will UBF listen and take to heart even one of these 10 points? Does UBF understand that some leaders have oppressed, stymied and disfigured the image of God in their sheep? That they have caused PTSD-like symptoms in them? That exUBFers have needed expensive Christian counseling after leaving UBF? That they have been gossiped about and regarded very negatively and critically after leaving UBF? (Sorry that I always have far more questions than I do have answers!)

We find that it becomes a snare whenever we challenge the system. Such a challenge is met with a reminder of who we were and what that means. UBF shepherds have this awkward tendency to remind a student of their weaknesses, including what had been identified as their unique and one-of-a-kind life sin problem. So, the person is no longer a new creation in Christ Jesus – but rather the static sinner that their shepherd had once upon a time found on campus. Who are we as Christians when we cannot help our brothers/sisters to permanently put their life of sin behind them? Why do some of us insist on reminding students about their sin problem in order to maintain control?

A Simple Reflection on Les Misérables

Jean Valjean, a convict released on parole after 19 years of serving out his sentence for stealing bread, begins a new life and journey as he intimately comes to know God. His life of freedom during parole carries on his criminal mentality. However the grace of a Bishop helps lead Valjean to his new relationship with God. Over time he transforms into a new man and a new creation. His past is behind him (it would seem) and he holds much responsibility – he becomes a prominent man in the community as a factory owner and mayor. Jesus has absolved him of his bitter sin of theft, but the prison guard, Javert, recognizes Valjean and repeatedly pursues him without mercy referring to him as 24601. Thus, no matter the transformation and new man that Valjean has become, he is always associated with his past sins. These sins God had washed away in the blood of forgiveness, but man refuses to forget details and relentlessly pursues him.

What Kind of Sinner Were You?

Who we are in Christ matters. Who we were also matters. What kind of sinner were you? What had you done? When one slowly struggles and shares deep and personal history of their lives it often permanently defines who they are in the eyes of many. Therefore, it is safe to state that it becomes impossible to truly conquer a sin problem because our brothers and sisters lie in wait for us to stumble so that they may remind us of who we once were. If Jesus does not remind us of our sin, why do such humble servants? Why is spiritual authority expressed in this way at times? Consider carefully what you determine to be your life problem. It will be a measure against you in times of conflict and disagreement.

The life testimony is a perfect example of pinning the identity of someone. It is also a way of making the memory permanent, because the benchmark gets recorded in the history of your new UBF identity. “Hello, my name is X. I was XYZ sinner before I met Christ.” In many ways the human being is still XYZ sinner despite many years to season and reshape that person. Senior leaders will always harbour first impressions no matter the actual change in someone. So, becoming a new creation in Jesus ceases to have power in UBF. This serves the level of integration into the social hierarchy of UBF. It also breeds many issues and to my knowledge has impacted the life of second gens as well.

Conflict of Interests – The Difference Between God and Man

It is unfair to define anyone by an apparent sin problem that they once had. Confession or exposure of sin is visible within the gospels. But, are UBF shepherds equal to Jesus? If anyone composes a life testimony they are entrusting themselves to another person. That person is usually their shepherd. After editing the congregation becomes both judge and jury. The purpose of testimonial is to help examine the word of God against our life – so much more a life testimony. A life testimony brings family background and upbringing into light. It often reveals all emotions as we reminisce about successes and failures – joys and sorrows. The point of the testimony exercise should be a means to help establish deeper roots of faith and relationship with Jesus. But often times it enables seniors to label sheep by their sins.

The identity of a person should reflect their evolution as they walk with Jesus. (A testimony is only an aid to the greater picture that later defines a person.) Jesus has embraced us and forgiven us – So what about you? If we turn and say do not judge, for you too will be judged. Then we should also not keep a record of what people said in their testimonies to define them by. Instead, to get to know the person we should go out together and have fellowship. Talk about life and interests (music and movies) – see them in that context. Let go of the UBF boundary and context style. In this way a bond can be established based on a real relationship with that person. Therefore, conclusions drawn about the person should evolve as the relationship evolves. Sadly, most of us believe that by knowing the life testimony or weekly testimony we are drawn closer to a person. But I say that this is a lie. Knowing the testimonial only helps us to keep records of rights and wrongs – dos and don’ts that the person had done. We are mistaken if we believe we are closer to anyone exclusively through their testimonies.

How should we see each other? Is it right to always view someone as they once were? Is it more Christian to see them with new eyes? Why then should we be judged by man? After all, Jesus is our source and answer – before him alone we shall stand naked to bear all of our deeds.

How has UBF responded to such heartfelt accounts of spiritual abuse? Sorry to say that the loudest response is most often SILENCE. Next, the “typical” response from many in leadership has been quite defensive, as though the abuse experienced was somehow justifiable, if not acceptable. Why is this? Might this be because UBF has consciously or subconsciously apotheosized, revered and venerated her leaders?

The following are some common responses to allegations of spiritual abuse in UBF:

* “There are two sides of the story.” This may be the single most common excuse or reasoning for defending abusive UBF leaders. It acknowledges that the leader may have said or done some bad things. But the sheep who complained has also some very serious problems and sin issues that the abusive leader knows about. The implication of “two sides of the story” is that the abusive UBF leader is NOT fully responsible for the abuse of their sheep. Why? Because their sheep are also terrible and horrible “worse” sinners who in some way—known to the abusive UBF leader—deserved that abuse. Really?

* “Aren’t you also a sinner?” The horrible logic here is that because you are a sinner too, so how dare you accuse your UBF shepherd of sinning!! Aren’t you being a hypocrite?

* “You must forgive!” This skillfully and craftily shifts the burden of responsibility from the abusive UBF leader to the sheep who is addressing the spiritual abuse of UBF. It is like a husband who beat his Christian wife. After that he comes to her with a Bible and says, “As a Christian, you must forgive me.” Somehow, some in Christian leadership buy this logic.

* “You were blessed by UBF, so how dare you complain!” Such planting of indebtedness by some UBF leaders practically takes credit for the work of the Holy Spirit. When a sheep becomes a Christian (or a renewed Christian) after Bible study, this is clearly ONLY the work of the Holy Spirit. The Bible teacher/shepherd was ONLY the instrument. So if the shepherd made the sheep feel indebted, they have robbed God of his glory. Such a thinking is sadly ongoing to this day. “UBF taught you the Bible. UBF introduced your spouse. We fed you meals. You are so ungrateful. You are bitter and unforgiving.” It is the classical ad hominem argument that the problem of UBF is the problem of the person addressing the issue.

* Because God blessed UBF, UBF is OK. It is as though the bad of UBF is OK because God had blessed UBF for 50 years. This is very subtle and very flawed theological thinking.

Perhaps others have heard more creative and ingenious reasons to justify and defend the UBF leader for longstanding patterns of abusive behavior. But at its core do you think it is because UBF has apotheosized her leaders?

Trapped by “grace”

It is still amazing that though I have been kicked out of UBF, I still am listed as a director in the daily bread book, being sent daily bread books, and even promotional literature along with conference posters and invitation cards to invite people to the 2013 UBF International Summer Conference (ISBC) at Indiana University of Pennsylvania. Even after being kicked out, I am still bombarded with everything concerning UBF. When does it all end, it is like being a main character in a horror movie though I am not in the movie.

It would be nice to really witness “So Loved” in UBF even if it is for one weekend from August 1-4. Instead the true theme of every conference is always the same. I summarize the true theme like this, “Don’t forget God’s grace”. You might say, “What is so bad with that. Isn’t that what Christians are called to do?” The problem is how UBF sees God’s grace. It is a trap, meant to keep you thankful forever to UBF.

From my early days, I was reminded constantly of this from my shepherd who by the way disappeared from UBF without a trace, no one knows what actually happened to him and his family. I was one of the young shepherds who shared my life testimony at Michigan State University and was told to write a hundred page testimony of my life then narrow it down to two pages telling of God’s grace. I was surprised that God’s grace equaled only what happened in UBF and in Bible study. Later, I wrote a book, “Crossing the Red Sea” to share the grace I learned through the word of God.

Maybe a beard will make you forget God’s grace

The problem lies in how UBF interprets God’s grace. My shepherd was a very wealthy man but he was considered a great man because he lived with a poor street kid from Cincinnati, Ohio. He would warn me daily to not forget God’s grace and prohibited me from growing facial hair because he told me that my old life comes back when I have hair on my face. I think the real reason is that he could not grow a beard and he thought that I was forgetting God’s grace when I grew a beard. The chapter director would invite me over to his nice home and feed me and say, “Don’t forget God’s grace!”

Post Conference Depression

All through out my 20 plus years in UBF, it was always the same message, it was how they kept the bear in me asleep. Everything that anyone done for me in UBF was thrown in my face time and time again to keep me a prisoner in the system. The summer conferences were great but we all suffered from PCD after the conferences which is “Post Conference Depression.” There was no true love. Even to this day, I barely know anybody in UBF personally because it was all about UBF where was the real people, the real Jesus and the real love.

More like a guilt trip

On the UBFriends site, I feel connected with people for the first time because we all know deep inside that the new theme of the upcoming ISBC, “So Loved” is just like “Don’t forget God’s grace”. Many after this conference will go home depressed and even regret spending so much money when they have bills and family matters that are pressing on them. Everyone will leave with a big smile and say what an amazing Bible conference this was, and then suffer on Monday morning from PCD. It happened to all of us in Cincinnati UBF and we all struggled countless times with bouts of depression and with the true guilt trip, “Don’t forget God’s grace.”

Just a stern warning to all who go! Say to yourself, “Am I going to this 2013 International Summer Conference because I experience God’s love in my heart and in our chapter ministry?” or “Am I going because I must not forget the benefits of God’s servants and perhaps if I don’t go I will be rebuked in a stern and angry way?” Beware of PCD. If you have to go to a conference to experience God’s love than perhaps you are already in a depressed state and a weekend of inspiration may cause you to drift into insomnia. How will you escape the PCD?

1. Free spirited.

2. Fearless.

3. Bold.

4. Takes the initiative.

5. Speaks out. Speaks his/her mind freely.

6. Independent minded.

7. Follows one’s conscience or the Holy Spirit, rather than the leader.

8. Not asking for permission or approval or consulting the leader first.

9. Not deferring to the leader (which the leader expects).

10. Not giving credit to the leader (where the leader feels dishonored).

11. Being more fruitful than the leader (where the leader feels shamed).

12. Acts like a leader.

From my limited knowledge of Rebekah BK, I think she had most if not all of the above traits. (In contrast, the “hidden spiritual director” was totally submissive to SL and she likely acted as a spy for him.) Before she married, Rebekah started Toledo UBF almost single-handedly–without being officially sent out by UBF. From my wife’s recollection, she was tough, fearless, independent, self-directed, initiative driven, and a very fruitful Christian woman. In the late 70s and 80s Toledo UBF had the most American sheep of any USA UBF chapter including the HQ in Chicago (which had many missionaries but few Americans). My thinking is that SL likely felt that she was too wild. Thus, he likely tried to tame her, train her, control her, humble her and mold her to fit the image of the kind of person he expected her to be. But I would have to categorically say that if he did indeed try to turn her husband James K against her, it is simply reprehensible and deserving of censure.

I think that many Christians who left UBF after being committed members for many years likely have some if not most of the above 12 traits. Am I right? If so, it is really quite sad. It is the reason why some accuse UBF of raising clones (of the chapter director) and of being a Korean church.

Thus, I pose this question: Is UBF raising Christ-centered leaders or UBF-centered followers? Does UBF allow her younger leaders to truly lead with their own style and initiative? Or must they lead based on the terms, conditions and approval of their chapter director?

So, here is the piece:

(Quoted from Control Mechanisms in the ICC)

“The viewpoint generally fostered is that the ICC in general has changed, corrected all wrongs and that any claimed problems are not the way the ICC is any more. If a specific leader is involved, he or she must be seen as having changed unless he or she has lost his position. [When a leader has fallen out of favor, it is permitted to denigrate him or her, provide that his or her misconduct are viewed firmly in the past tense.] It must never be admitted that the ideals of the group are flawed.

Sometimes, particularly on minor issues, a leader will give permission for a problem to be admitted and allow some discussion of possible solutions. This is not a common practice. When it does occur, it will be over something like a group outing or people arriving late to a meeting. But even on such issues, the leader remains firmly in control of what topics may be discussed. An ordinary member will not be given the floor to address serious problems. Similarly, critical matters are not discussed openly, admitted to be current problems, with ordinary members freely offering options for solutions. Members who dare to speak up have been silenced and even ejected from the group.

The only exception to this practice of treating problems in the past tense is to state that the group is not committed enough, not working hard enough, not baptizing enough – this admission must always be couched in terms of the group needing to work harder to achieve its ambitions. Only issues of this type may be considered in the present tense – all others must be viewed as past tense. This exception enhances the control by the ICC leadership by pushing the members to be even more dedicated to following the leaders’ edicts.

This illusion of change helps the member avoid assessing the group. If something bad has happened then it is always in the past, it is time forgive and forget. This very way of thinking allows abuse to continue by preventing open and serious dialog amongst the members. This way of not dealing with problems also grants further power to the leadership by making the only source of change those selfsame leaders. Even leaders have been stifled in their efforts to affect changes, by higher-ranking leaders. Those who have tried have typically been fired and/or kicked out of the ICC.

Previously, anyone who spoke out against Kip’s sins faced serious retribution. Now, his serious offenses are permitted to be mentioned. But the discussions are in the past tense. The problems have to be viewed as being solved. Repentance, forgiveness and love must abound. No demand by ordinary members for serious reform may be made.

Even I, a former member, have received emails from current members to the effect that I am wrong to continue to oppose the ICC since all these problems are supposedly in the past. Since certain apologies have been made, by McKean and other leaders, then everything must be viewed as mistakes of the past. Such views illustrate my point very well: no means exists to admit and address CURRENT problems. They all have to be viewed as being things of the past.

The past tense nature of handling these issues leads to there being no meaningful evaluation of what aspects of the group cause these sorts of problems. Despite the repeated abuses of leadership happening innumerable times, it is all viewed as isolated incidents. The clear pattern of emotional and psychological abuse by leaders on the ordinary members is not taken into consideration. There is no examination into the core beliefs (or lack thereof) that lead to such events. Almost invariably, the view taken is that any problem is just some leaders’ sins and has already been fixed.

This brings me to the point of abusive forgiveness. Forgiveness is a very good thing, but it can be used for abusive purposes. Forgiveness is not just letting something go unaddressed (unless it is a trivial issue such as forgetting to do something you promised). Forgiveness serves to repair a friendship and to promote growth in the relationship. It can be abused by such things as repeatedly doing something, demanding forgiveness each time, but never meaningfully working to change. In that situation, the abuse continues and the relationship cannot grow. This is just what the ICC leadership has done.”

This is moving to me because the Bible NEVER gives any wiggle room for making excuses, for blaming others, for being evasive, for not telling the truth, for slander and gossip, for justifying, rationalizing, defending or covering up wrongdoing, and especially for not taking responsibility.

Once a junior UBF leader told me that their chapter director said, “My chapter is not growing because of YOU.” Did this chapter director take responsibility? Does he need to learn from LeBron and from the Bible about how to be a leader?

When one felt abused by their Bible teacher or chapter director, some share painfully what happened because of their inner agony. My sentiment is, “I’m so sorry this happened.” But the response heard from UBF is silence, or “There is another side to the story.” Is this taking responsibility?

For sure UBF takes responsibility for campus mission, which is good. But do we equally and urgently take (personal and corporate) responsibility for wrongdoing and spiritual abuses (which are now surfacing more and more)? Do we take responsibility for what is being said about UBF on Wikepedia (which anyone can now google to find out)?

Granted that it is hard to take responsibility when you fail (Gen 3:11-14). When I hurt my wife, it is hard for me to take responsibility that I have failed to adequately love my dear wife. But the mark of Christian maturity is humility. The evidence of humility is the ability to freely apologize and take responsibility for mistakes, errors, abuses and sins.

How has UBF been doing with regards to taking responsibility? Can we learn from LeBron?

The bad/ugly. Despite many such wonderful things that have happened in and through UBF over the last half a century, UBFriends describes countless unpleasant negative experiences and abuses, which I have also witnessed, experienced and encountered. Sadly, there are longstanding members of UBF who would summarily discount anything shared on UBFriends, perhaps because they would like to hear ONLY my first paragraph above. Anything besides “good things experienced in UBF” has been categorized as UBF bashing, negative, discouraging, ungrateful, bitter, and the like.

How can we explain both the exhilarating highs of UBF (the good) and the downright depressing discouraging lows (the bad/ugly)?

Good and evil. The exhilarating highs experienced in UBF is clearly the work of God in the hearts and lives of people. The downright depressing lows are caused by the cunning devious schemes of the devil to create discontent, discord and division.

One major cause for the bad/ugly. I have lumped all the unpleasantries and negative experiences in UBF under “authoritarain leadership,” which lords over sheep and exercises authority over them, and which often results in spiritual abuse. In the 10 Commandments of UBF I addressed in 10 Commands what UBF must stop doing, especially Commandment #3: “You shall not be Lord over your sheep or replace the Holy Spirit in their life.” I also spoke out against intrusive coercive lording over shepherding of sheep in guidelines for best shepherding practice. But since this has been going on and ongoing for 50 years, it may be years or decades before such practices stop to a significant degree, since “bad habits die hard.”

Both good and bad/ugly. UBF loyalists might like my first paragraph, but regard the rest as unnecessary. Those who experienced authoritarian abuse would welcome this post, and perhaps have some discomfort about the glowing first paragraph. My contention is that UBF is both good and bad/ugly. I praise God for the good and give Him all the credit and glory. But the bad/ugly is the work of Satan that desperately requires God’s merciful intervention as we cry out to him.

To those hurt by UBF, can the good you experienced in UBF curb the bad you experienced? To UBF loyalists, can the good you experienced in UBF not hold you back from clearly addressing, confronting and condemning what is bad and ugly about UBF? Sorry for such awkward questions. But I ask them because the former are regarded as UBF bashers, while the latter are regarded as those who condone evil out of blind loyalty.

Ben, I enjoyed your sermon. It’s really good. I find it worth reading more than once, carefully looking up all the Bible quotations.  A theme that stands out is warning against “hierarchical leadership,” that is “the leadership style built on a chain-of-command social structure.” This warning can never be overstated. One of the main reasons I had hard time with my three sons growing up was that I exercised hierarchical leadership. Here is a Korean father, imbued with Confucianism, trying to raise three all-American boys. I only thank God for the relationship we have right now. It could have been much worse, even disastrous.

Believers or non-believers, the modern people must thank Jesus that heroes from the past, who were inspired by Jesus’ warning against hierarchical leadership, fought against tyrannical social structure throughout history. Non-believers must thank God for Jesus more than believers because they are more inclined to reject authority. It is irony that I have learned servant leadership in no other place than UBF, which many ubfriends accuse of hierarchical leadership. One of the messages that moved me most as I began Bible study in my college days was Mark Vucekovich’s  Niagara summer Bible conference message on John 13, Jesus’ washing his disciples’ feet. As a young sheep I was so refreshed by the message that my experience could be described almost as shock. I did not even attend the conference because I was still in Korea. I was just reading his printed message. Here I am not trying to glorify UBF messages. It was just the word of God that touched me. But it is still valid claim that God uses, not only big name pastors or theologians, but even such a young messenger like Mark V, who was only in his early twenties, or even younger. (Obviously I am referring to your concern about ISBC.)

Sometimes I have some crooked thoughts and wish just a little bit of hierarchical leadership existed in Lehigh UBF. I am supposed to be the director. But I am actually close to being a janitor. If anything happens in the church, everybody assumes that Wesley will take care of the problem. The church back door breaks down quite frequently. Everybody assumes that Wesley will fix it. For remodeling work, people come in through the front door and linger a while and then go out through the backdoor. I call my directorship “janitorship.” (Of course I can work like a janitor, but act toward others like Kim Jong Il.) But who am I to complain? I thank God for everybody. Each is doing his or her best to serve God and build up the church. I haven’t seen anyone who works as hard as one American guy in our church. It is my constant struggle I work as much as he does, if not more.

Hierarchical leadership really doesn’t work. History proves it. Numerous tyrannical leaders in the position of power ruined countries and brought misery to people. The same is true with church as you described it so well. Is UBF more prone to hierarchical leadership than other churches? It’s very possible because many of us came from Confucius background. We have hard time being called by first name even by young children. I still call my friend Dr. Bill, not just Bill. Sometimes I grumble to myself because he calls me Wesley and I feel compelled to call him Dr. Bill. This is Mr. Confucius’ yoke that I must carry. Then what should we do? I guess we must keep learning from Jesus, take his warnings, read Ben’s message many times, and even memorize them. (This is also what Confucius’ teaching: Memorize great teachings and know them by heart.)

Now since I admit we from Confucius background are more prone to hierarchical leadership and we have been battered so much for that, I also want to say some benefits UBF people with Confucius background brought to Westerners, that are aligned with Biblical teachings. Predictably, one of them is acceptance of authority, which Koreans people find it easier than Americans do.

One of the most frequent phrases that ubfriends try to define ubf with is “authoritarian leadership.” (I always said why it is understandable.) And somewhat the phrase “hierarchical leadership” Ben used in his message seems to have similar meaning to authoritarian leadership. Now here is the monster we must watch out for–authoritarian leadership. On the other hand I think we must be very careful as we constantly give ourselves and others warning against authoritarian leadership. Here is why. Quite often the line between authority and authoritarianism becomes obscure, especially for those who are in the habit of resisting the Holy Spirit. People get in troubles, often very big troubles, when they confuse authority with authoritarianism. One good example is a group of rebellious Israelites in the wilderness, including Korah and Miriam—Moses’ own sister, who stood up against Moses. They of course accused him of authoritarianism. They said, “You have gone too far! The whole community is holy, every one of them, and the Lord is with them. Why then do you set yourselves above the Lord’s assembly?”(Num 16:3b)  We know the end result of their rebellion. Here we see Korah and his group did not say they opposed Moses’ authority that was given by God, but that Moses had gone too far beyond the authority God allowed him to have. Their downfall was they did not know where to draw the line between authority and authoritarianism.

Compared with the amount of warnings he gave against hierarchical leadership, Ben allowed only very small space, two and half lines, for disciplining people who sin in the church. If people like Korah and Miriam had been among the audience, they would have very easily failed to get proper warning. I am not sure if Ben is planning to give another great message to help such people. Maybe he is. People who are eager to blur the line between authority and authoritarianism may be as dangerous as people who exercise authoritarian leadership, if not more. Just look at the society these days. Where is it going? I don’t think I am wrong to say that the major problem of Westerners these days is to deny any and every authority. They deny authorities one by one, those of parents, teachers, churches, and so on. When Westerners abandon all the authorities including the authority of God, its end result will be more disastrous than for Asians because the latter have had at least Confucius for centuries.

When I give the example of Moses, I dare not compare lowly ubf shepherds with him. I am just giving example of danger of confusing authority with authoritarianism. If anything, I would compare the lowly ubf shepherds who are rarely trained in theology–humble nurses, school teachers…, to a donkey, to be specific Balaam’s donkey. But you’d better watch out and not oppose them when they speak to you with God-given authority. If God gave Balaam’s donkey authority to give his master his words, why not these humble ubf shepherds? And don’t be so eager to oppose a ubf director when he speaks to you just because you suspect he is exercising authoritarian leadership. He may be actually speaking to you through the Holy Spirit. It was a humble house wife who spoke to me through the Holy Spirit, which brought about my conversion. She actually said that I was possessed with unclean spirit using the Bible passage from Mark 1:21-28. But I accepted it, which opened my spiritual eyes to see myself not only as flesh and blood, but as a spiritual being, who was in desperate need of God. What if I opposed her, saying, “You little woman, how dare you?” My destiny would have not been too different from that of Korah, who the ground opened it’s mouth and swallowed.

My warning against confusing authority with authoritarianism does not lessen the importance of watching out for hierarchical leadership. I am just saying that there is the other side of the same coin.

Ben, putting aside your great sermon, which I have a lot to learn from, I must add I was greatly disappointed with your ascribing ubf church’s generosity of helping my wife in her sickness to Korean hospitality, even alluding to Korean Airline hospitality. It just doesn’t make sense. I am sure all those who came to visit us were often busy and had hundreds of other things to do. How do you think they found strength to overcome their busyness and tiredness to come and visit us with food? Do you think that they remembered their mothers’ or grandmothers’ example of practicing Korean hospitality and deny themselves to come and visit us? I wouldn’t be able to do it myself. Maybe for a few days, but not for eight months.

Anyway thank you for your effort to study the Bible and give great messages to God’s sheep in West Loop Church. Several photos of West Loop Church on Facebook are lively and show that the members are doing well.

What does spiritual abuse look like in a church?

Here are some excerpts from a Rachael Held Evans article. (source: “Don’t Talk About It” by Kristen Rosser)

I was in college, living in an ex-fraternity house made over into a Christian boarding house for members of Maranatha Campus Ministries. It was 1983 or 84.

The leaders of Maranatha, Bob Weiner and Joe Smith, had come up with another new revelation that they said was from God. They took their text from John 15:8:

“By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.”

Bob Weiner and Joe Smith said that by “bearing fruit,” Jesus meant “making converts.”  This meant, they said, that the more converts to Christ you made, the more you had “proved to be His disciple.”  Therefore, those of us who had never made a convert were not really disciples of Christ.  Oh, we were saved all right, and we would go to heaven when we died, but were were all a sort of lesser follower of Jesus.  Not bearing fruit.  Not proving ourselves.  Not quite measuring up.

Here are some definitions from the same article:

An enabler is a person who by their actions make it easier for an addict to continue their self-destructive behavior.

It is possible to become addicted to authority. A person who is so addicted will uphold his or her authority at all costs, even at the expense of those whom their position of authority was created to serve. And the person who is addicted will encourage his or her followers in enabling behaviors, to make it easier to hold onto his or her authority.

When religion, God or the Bible are used to encourage enabling, in ways that bring shame, harm or misery to the enablers, this is spiritual abuse.

How can we spot spiritual abuse?

This articles provides ten concrete and easily identifiable trademarks of a spiritually abusive person or organization. (source: 10 Ways to Spot Spiritual Abuse)

Spiritually abusive ministries will…

1. Have a distorted view of respect. They forget the simple adage that respect is earned, not granted. Abusive leaders demand respect without having earned it by good, honest living.

2. Demand allegiance as proof of the follower’s allegiance to Christ. It’s either his/her way or no way. And if a follower deviates, he is guilty of deviating from Jesus.

3. Use exclusive language. “We’re the only ministry really following Jesus.” “We have all the right theology.” Believe their way of doing things, thinking theologically, or handling ministry and church is the only correct way. Everyone else is wrong, misguided, or stupidly naive.

4. Create a culture of fear and shame. Often, there is no grace for someone who fails to live up to the church’s or ministry’s expectation. And if someone steps outside of the often-unspoken rules, leaders shame them into compliance. Can’t admit failure but often searches out failure in others and uses that knowledge to hold others in fear and captivity. They often quote Scriptures about not touching God’s anointed or bringing accusations against an elder. Yet they often confront sin in others, particularly ones who bring up legitimate biblical issues. Or they have their circle of influence take on this task, silencing critics.

5. Often have a charismatic leader at the helm who starts off well but slips into arrogance, protectionism, and pride. Where a leader might start off being personable and interested in others’ issues, he/she eventually withdraws to a small group of “yes people” and isolates from the needs of others. Harbors a cult of personality, meaning if the central figure of the ministry or church left, the entity would collapse, as it was entirely dependent on one person to hold the place together.

6. Cultivate a dependence on one leader or leaders for spiritual information. Personal discipleship isn’t encouraged. Often the Bible gets pushed away to the fringes unless the main leader is teaching it.

7. Demand servanthood of their followers, but live prestigious, privileged lives. They live aloof from their followers and justify their extravagance as God’s favor and approval on their ministry. Unlike Jesus’ instructions to take the last seat, they often take the first seat at events and court others to grant them privileges.

8. Buffer him/herself from criticism by placing people around themselves whose only allegiance is to the leader. Views those who bring up issues as enemies. Those who were once friends/allies swiftly become enemies once a concern is raised. Sometimes, these folks are banished, told to be silent, or shamed into submission.

9. Hold to outward performance but rejects authentic spirituality. Places burdens on followers to act a certain way, dress an acceptable way, and have an acceptable lifestyle.

10. Use exclusivity for allegiance. Followers close to the leader or leaders feel like insiders. Everyone else is on the outside, though they long to be in that inner circle.

Follow-up questions:

Do you see any of these things in your UBF chapter? If you do see these things, will you be a silent enabler or take some kind of action? Is a healthy church always and continually growing? Is it healthy to gauge your ministry health using the “minimum barrel rule“?

[Admin note: The picture in this article and title were inspired by slide 7 “Healthy Church” in this presentation.]

In 2013, the current UBF General Director, changed parts of his New Year’s address based on comments he received from several UBF people. He was told that the content of his overall message was very good. But some of his comments and application were insensitive, especially toward those who have experienced spiritual abuse at the hands of UBF chapter directors and Korean missionaries in various parts of the world, including the U.S. and Canada. Truth be told, he did not realize and never intended to be offensive or insensitive. Also, he graciously welcomed the comments without being defensive. Then he removed the offensive parts of his message. This was greatly encouraging to me and to many others. His message, without the offensive elements, was well received by the UBF staff and leaders.

This, I believe, is an excellent praiseworthy model of a Christian leader–one who is able to receive unfavorable comments and critique without being personally offended, and then humbly making the necessary corrections. I believe that our current general director is a humble man of God who loves Jesus: he wants to do what is right before God and for the good of the future of the people of God in UBF. That is why I respect him.

What about other older UBF chapter directors and missionaries? Are they as open and welcoming to unfavorable comments, objections and critiques? Do they think that it is OK for young people to question their leadership over their chapter or over UBF?

Sadly, in my opinion, there are some older “clandestine” UBF chapter directors and missionaries who do not humbly welcome objections, corrections, challenges, or critique. They take it personally as an insult and as an affront. They behave as though no one junior to them has the right to call them to be accountable, or to answer to any questions of inappropriate speech or actions. Their subjective response is “How dare you?” Those who have been in UBF for over 2-3 decades know who those UBF leaders are. UBFriends does not single out perpetrators. We respect current and former UBF people, including the UBF leaders who were spiritually abusive, and who may continue to be authoritarian. But we will address such behavior, because it dishonors God and hurts people in the church of UBF, which is the bride and the body of Christ.

Furthermore, does the Bible teach that younger people should not rebuke, challenge, or correct their older (church) leader? Well, Nathan, a subject of King David, rebuked the king, who has authority over him. Paul, a newer apostle rebuked Peter, the most senior apostle. Countless (unpopular) prophets rebuked countless (established) religious leaders and kings in Israel. Jesus, a young itinerant evangelist severely and very very negatively rebuked the top religious leaders of Israel who were all older than him. Heck, even  a donkey rebuked Balaam the prophet.

From my observations, some UBF chapter directors and missionaries have privately and publicly corrected and rebuked their sheep for all sorts of things–sometimes without restraint and with intolerance, indignation and anger. Their attitude is “Keep spiritual order. Just obey. Don’t question.” Isn’t this abusive? Do some UBF leaders make unilateral decisions that affect you without first discussing with you? Do they meddle with your life as shepherds “over” you?

As much as such UBF leaders expect their sheep and juniors to be accountable to them, are they likewise equally accountable? Do they welcome correction? Can their decisions be questioned? Can we ask that they be accountable? Or should our attitude be: “we should trust God and not question them, since God appointed them (and not you) as the leader”?

I have added my concerns to the list. Let’s do a reset and try to stay on target this time. What do you think about these concerns? Why or why not are they valid? Why and how will you do things differently in order to prevent the concerns Ben raises?

1. UBF’s glory may be overstated and overemphasized again.
2. Human elements may influence the environment such as pride and competition.
3. The prayer topic for bringing 3,500 people may be burdensome.
4. Mandatory attendance may invade people’s boundaries in an unhealthy manner.
5. The theme and emphasis of every UBF conference is predictably the same: mission.
6. The UBF conference schedule is too hectic for any actual rest.
7. The quality and cost ratio may be out of balance.
8. Conference workers work like slaves and are not appreciated but taken for granted.
9. The message content skips John 17 and may not express the gospel clearly.
10. The conference neglects families by telling families to avoid family registration.
11. All participants will be asked to take the “UBF missionary pledge”.

Language is a powerful thing. It shapes the way communities think and act. Questions like these, which are being whispered in the corners at UBF chapters all over the world, are not value-free. They are so fraught with hidden assumptions and judgments that merely asking them,  one is (knowingly or not) defending the status quo and deflecting attention from very serious problems that affect everyone in the UBF community.

Today one of our Facebook friends posted a link to a 20-minute TED talk titled “Violence and Silence.” The speaker, Dr. Jackson Katz, gives a fascinating 20-minute presentation on cultures of abuse. Although he is speaking directly about violence against women, everything he says can be applied more broadly to any kind of systemic abuse within communities.

As Sharon and I listened to this talk, we were stunned by how relevant it was to the longstanding problems of authoritarianism and abusive leadership that so many have been discussing on UBFriends. Here are some of the points that really stood out.

• How communities use language to continually marginalize the abused and deflect attention from the abusers.

• How bystanders — those who are neither directly involved in the abuse nor victimized by it, but are enmeshed with them in a web of personal and family relationships — need to realize that remaining silent is not a neutral stance, but an act of support for the status quo. Those who remain silent bear real responsibility for the continuation of abuse.

• The continuation of abuse is a sign of failed leadership. Leaders who allocate resources and set priorities for the institution need to stop pretending to be helpless and take decisive action.

Please, please, watch this video and tell us what you think.

UBF’s glory. This is my predominant major concern: There is an undertow and impression that the unspoken purpose of UBF conferences is to show the greatness of UBF, of UBF missionaries and of senior UBF leaders, rather than to display and declare the greatness and glory of Christ. This is subtle, subjective and subjunctive. This can be denied because no one ever says, “Our UBF conference is to show how great UBF is, or how great Korean missionaries are.” But my contention is that UBF palpably glorifies UBF, UBF missionaries, and senior UBF leaders rather than God Himself. This is a very very very serious charge. So, if this is incorrect, then please correct me.

Human elements. James Kim wrote that UBF has been “contaminated with many human elements like human pride, authoritarian leadership, impure motives, performance-oriented work, unhealthy competition, human glory seeking etc.” These “human elements” play out in significant force at the international conference: which UBF leader/chapter brought more attendants, which chapter was the main speaker from, who is more fruitful (Korea or USA?), who is honored, etc. It was expressed that Korea UBF is the host of the international conference held in the USA. Seriously?

Bring 3,500 people. A way to show UBF’s greatness is to bring many to the conference. This is good. But such (over)emphasis on bringing people is invariably to fulfill a number goal. People are invited not out of love for Jesus, but from the pressure by certain UBF leaders to keep one’s prayer goal.

Attendance to UBF conferences. This is regarded as a barometer of one’s spirituality, maturity and commitment to Christ. It has often been said, “You must show yourself to be a UBF missionary/UBF shepherd/UBF leader by attending the UBF conference.” Is this a biblical godly Christ-like motivation? Is it true that attendance to UBF conferences is a measure of one’s spirituality?

The theme and emphasis of every UBF conference is predictably the same: It is mission. This makes UBF conferences predictable. The same passages are repeated, primarily from the 4 gospels, with several favorite texts. The conclusion of every conference is the same: Obey the world mission command by feeding sheep. Are there not countless other biblical themes of beauty, majesty, mystery and glory besides mission, mission, mission, world mission?

The UBF conference schedule is hectic. Every moment of the conference must be filled with messages, reports, Bible study, testimony writing, testimony sharing, breakout sessions. Why? To make sure there is no time for attendants to hang out with others. UBF, a spiritual training academy, does not want lazy attendants who attend the conference for human fellowship.

Quality and cost. Today there are countless other Christian conferences that have gifted mature pastors and preachers, both older and younger. To compare any UBF conference in the world with them is like comparing a high school football team with any NFL team. Does UBF realize that we have a long way to catch up to improve the quality, content and spirituality of our UBF conferences? By comparison, UBF conference fees are also expensive. Other Christian conferences often has sponsors so that attendants receive free items, usually numerous Christian books that may even cover the cost of the conference fee.

Conference workers work like slaves and are not appreciated but taken for granted. Some years ago, countless unknown UBFers worked and served tirelessly for many months to prepare for a major UBF conference. Then the Sun sermon right after this conference was on Lk 17:7-10. I was floored. Of course, no one who served sacrificially and tirelessly expected to be specially honored or appreciated. But to hear from UBF leadership that “you have only done your duty” (Lk 17:10) is beyond belief. Also, conference workers have to pay their full conference fee even though they offer their services freely. It makes UBF seem like bossy unappreciative slave drivers, rather than like the God who is so generous that he pays you a full days wage for working just one hour (Mt 20:15).

To state again, my prayer is that God abundantly blesses our upcoming international conference to overflowing. Nonetheless, these are my (serious) concerns. Are there other concerns? Am I unnecessarily concerned? Off base? Too critical and picky?

How many organizational leaders have gotten themselves and their followers into severe trouble because they failed to see their own limitations? Because they held on to their positions of authority for so long that they lost the ability to self-reflect? Because they failed to allow the next generation to take over in a timely manner? Because they imagined that they were the rightful owners of the organization and that it couldn’t survive without them?

Then, purely by chance, I happened to watch a video of a lecture by my friend John Armstrong. It was the fifth in a series of seven lectures on Spiritual Leadership that John presented to UBF leaders in the Chicago area.

 The video is over 50 minutes long. In the last 20 minutes, beginning roughly at 31:00, John weaves together several examples of leaders who did or did not know when to stop. He talks about:

• David Wraight, the International President of Youth for Christ, who realized that the organization was in deep trouble and approached its leaders with the question of whether they ought to disband. After conducting a top-to-bottom critical review of the entire organization, they concluded that their only hope for survival was for the elderly leaders to step back and give decisionmaking over to very young leaders, men and women in their 20’s.  They did so, and now Youth for Christ is thriving.
• Bill Hybels, the founding pastor of the Willow Creek megachurch, who commissioned a careful study of Willow Creek and concluded that their model for Christian discipleship was deeply flawed. Hybels publicly announced the findings and carried out a major overhaul of the entire organization.
• John Armstrong’s desire to turn over the reins of his own organization, ACT3, to a much younger person (someone in his or her 20’s) as soon as possible. John asked his board of directors to find such a person. If that plan doesn’t materialize, John is prepared to gradually shut the entire organization down so that it ceases to exist.
• John Gagliardi, the legendary football coach at St. John’s University in Minnesota, who led the football team from 1953 until 2012. For years, everyone assumed that Gagliardi’s successor would be his son, who had faithfully served at his father’s side as an assistant coach. But the father never stepped aside. He kept coaching well into his 80’s. When his finally retired, his son was already too old to coach the team, and the university appointed someone else.

At roughly 48:45, John turns to Sam A. Lee, the son of UBF’s founder, and asks a pointed question: “How old was Dr. Lee when he started UBF?”

Sam responds that his father was about 30 years old.

Then John asks everyone in the room, “Would you trust a 30 year-old man today to lead this ministry?”

As I listened to John’s lecture, I thought about all the UBF chapters which, after two or three decades, are still being led by Korean missionaries, many of whom are now in their 60’s and appear to have lost all ability to self-critique. About all the North Americans who, after devoting decades of their lives to UBF, are still considered too young and immature to lead even though their hair (if they have any left) has turned gray. About the countless natives who left — including the best and brightest, nearly anyone with independent ideas and leadership potential — because the missionaries treated them like babies who needed to be spoon-fed and ordered about year after year. About the handful of natives who have remained and been given leadership titles and yet are still submissive, apparently unwilling or incapable of making any decision that might upset the status quo. About the upcoming International SBC which, as far as I can tell, will be essentially no different from the UBF conferences that I went to 30 years ago.

I thought about UBF leaders who continue to say things like, “Change will take a long time,” and, “Maybe UBF can change within a decade.” A decade from now, I will be a grandfather in my 60’s.

Do UBF leaders actually think that they have another decade?

It is said, “Our UBF missionaries worked so hard for mission, and they suffered and sacrificed so much to serve God and feed selfish sheep.” PTL! But Mother Barry has said countless times with great beaming joy, “I have sacrificed nothing for Jesus.” I believe her. So are our UBF missionaries tired and burnt out because they suffered and sacrificed more than Mother Barry?

Anthony Bradley wrote a blog called The ‘new legalism’: How the push to be ‘radical’ and ‘missional’ discourages ordinary people in ordinary places from doing ordinary things to the glory of God. He observed that youth and young adults are stressed and burnt out from the regular shaming and feelings of inadequacy if they are not doing something “missional.” They are fed the message that if they don’t do something for mission they are wasting their life. The sad result is that many feel ashamed if they “settle” into ordinary jobs, get married, start families, live in small towns, and live a simple quiet industrious life (1 Thess 4:11). Their fear is being an ordinary Christian with nothing special to boast about. Why is this happening?

Bradley postulates why. Many churches are committed to being “missional”–a church where people see themselves as missionaries in local communities. As a result, living out one’s faith became narrowly celebratory only when done in a special radical “missional” way. Getting married, having children, getting a job, saving and investing, being a good citizen, loving one’s neighbor no longer qualify as virtuous. Bradley cites a couple who were so “missional” they decided to not procreate for the sake of taking care of orphans. He concludes that missional, radical Christianity is the “new legalism.” Thus, being a Christian in a shame-driven “missional,” “radical” church does not sound like rest for the weary.

Might a similar scenario in our UBF context be what is causing our UBF missionaries to be tired and burnt out? UBF’s stress and emphasis has always been MISSION. It is Bible Korea and World Mission. It is to be a shepherd nation, a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. It is to be a 1:1 Bible teacher for world campus mission. It is to pledge to be a missionary to the ends of the earth. It is to always emphasize UBF’s “core values” as front and center. Your marriage MUST be for mission. After marriage, you better not be “family centered.” If you have kids, you “sacrifice them on the altar of UBF mission.” Even for our upcoming ISBC, UBF leaders want to make sure that the world mission command is pounded and expounded loudly and clearly–as though the theme of LOVE is not enough.

Doesn’t this teach and communicate that ONLY such a UBF Christian who conforms to UBF’s mission and core values is a “good and worthy” Christian?

Is UBF legalistic about mission? About her “core values”?

Might this be the reason why our UBF missionaries are tired, burdened and burnt out year after year, UBF conference after UBF conference?

What Joe has written is appealing primarily because it is true. He tells it like it is without spin. Joe also writes in an organized, systematic, methodical and logical way (which is thoroughly enjoyable to read), perhaps because he is a skilled statistician. His scope is also broad and far reaching. But what I am about to write has a narrow scope. It is also disorganized, jumbled, confusing, messy and done on the fly without much forethought or plan! When his sidekick anxiously asked Indiana Jones during a crisis, “What are you going to do next?” Jones replies, “I don’t know. I’m making it up as I go.” I am sorry to confess to you that this is how I write (and live)! Incidentally, this just drives my wife nuts.

Let me start with Joshua’s recent comment, which expresses what many UBF people feel, which UBF leaders do not want to hear, nor believe. He wrote, “(UBF) totally sucked the life out of me and made the last 1-2 years of being in UBF utterly deadening, so frustrating, and so joyless.” UBF is making people tired!! At every single major UBF conference, one of the prayer topics is to encourage tired, burdened and discouraged missionaries. After 50 years of UBF’s existence have we not already figured out why UBF missionaries are tired, burdened and discouraged?? Did not Jesus promise that in him we find rest for our souls (Mt 11:29), and that we will enjoy times of refreshing (Ac 3:19)? Joshua says clearly what many have expressed in private conversation, emails and on this blog: “UBF sucked the life out of me.” Will UBF leaders PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS!

After initially giving me life, UBF eventually sucked the life out of me as well. After a quarter of a century of being a Christian in Chicago UBF, I felt dead, frustrated, joyless and angry. From reading and studying the Bible, I knew that this was not how the Christian life should ever be. It should be filled to overflowing with love, joy and peace (Gal 5:22) and with life to the full (Jn 10:10b). But what I felt was exasperation instead of love, gloom instead of joy, angst instead of peace and deadness instead of life.

Whenever I spoke (or rather ranted and raved) to my wife about UBF, her most frequent response to me was, “Stop!! I don’t want to hear this anymore! You are giving me such a headache!” Then I will wait until her headache goes away and start all over again!

Eventually I spoke to some senior UBF leaders who have known me for over 25 years from the time I became a Christian in 1980. I met and shared with them in private meetings regularly for over a year. Simultaneously, I also emailed many UBF leaders. The immediate reason was to start a new UBF chapter at UIC (now called West Loop [WL]). Why? We have a brand new 1.5 million USD Bible house that is totally unused every weekend, because everyone who lives around UIC goes to the Chicago center for Sun service, a half hour drive away. Also, I personally needed to get away from the Chicago UBF politics and authoritarianism, which sorry to say was “sucking the life out of me.”

But that one year of seeking approval from Chicago UBF leadership to start a new UBF chapter was a hell I do not wish for anyone to ever experience. I told my wife that it felt worse than losing $1,000,000. Despite all the reasons and proposals that I patiently and privately presented to the UBF leaders for over a year, I was repeatedly and roundly rebuffed and rejected, primarily with ad hominem arguments. I will not share them. But I cannot resist sharing the cutest one: “Dr. Ben wants to have a worship service in our brand new expensive UIC Bible house, because he wants to claim it as his own.” My response: “Hey, why didn’t I think of it? I must be such a dummy!!”

By God’s grace and to the credit of the GD and the Chicago elders, they did finally approve of us starting a new UBF chapter at UIC in Jan 2008. To this day I am truly thankful to each one of our UBF leaders who gave their formal blessing and approval.

Unfortunately, there were conditions. We could not call ourselves UIC UBF because UIC “belonged” to Chicago UBF. So we took the name WL UBF. The GD said that up to 10 families could join me. But an elder wanted to restrict those who joined me to 10 people including children, which would be only 2 families: my family and one other with their kids and Bible students. But those who willingly wanted to join initially were 8 families including mine. 1 family has since left UBF, and 3 families have since joined.

Two weeks before we were to start our new WL UBF chapter, I suddenly received a new condition: I had to sign a 2.5 year lease/agreement where we had to agree to leave the UIC BH after 2.5 years of starting WL. At a meeting, no one among the 8 WL families wanted to sign this dreadful distasteful lease. But we were told in no uncertain terms that unless we signed this lease, we cannot start as we had planned, even though we were already given approval. It felt to me like Pharaoh who released the Israelite slaves after the 10th plague of the firstborn, and then regretting that he let their slaves go. A vote among the Chicago elders was taken and we were outvoted. We had to sign the lease, or WL cannot start as promised.

This caused a disarray among our WL families. No one wanted to sign it! Thus, we could not start. The given approval to start would be refused, reversed, revoked and repudiated. Honestly, this stunk! When it seemed that no one among our WL families wanted to sign the lease, some Chicago leaders in the room appeared happy and relieved, because it meant that we could not start a new WL UBF chapter as was promised. All of our hearts sank. Our hopes were crushed and dashed to pieces. Then, with great reluctance and with a spirit of protest and anger, I agreed to the 2.5 year lease. I held up the lease in my hand and declared as loudly as I could, “I will sign it and WE WILL START WL UBF on Jan 4, 2008!” Interestingly, those very leaders who looked so happy when we refused to sign the lease suddenly became visibly and palpably deflated and dejected.

This is the sad and happy true story of how WL UBF began in Jan 2008! It felt like a new day, a new morning and a new song for us Loopers, as we call ourselves. This is purely and entirely God’s undeserved mercy and grace to us. Personally, I have never been happier. I tasted God’s tender love newly. We are still proudly UBF, even if some in UBF continue to say to this very day, “West Loop is not really UBF.”

As promised, this is the very very messy truth that I am telling. (There are other truths I want to tell as well.) Did I do this perfectly as Christ would? The answer is obvious. Nonetheless, this is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth as coming from a sinner whose only claim to righteousness is in Christ alone. I do not say this with any arrogance, but with deep fear and trembling and with humility and tears.

Will you also tell the truth and declare it to the whole world?

I just want to ask Joe if you have tried the second step enough.

Have you confronted this issue with two or three more people? especially with witnesses?

I know you have already brought this before the church.

But if you haven’t done the second step, you may follow Jesus’ instruction, which is to go as a group rather than only you.

In Matthew 18:15-17, it appears that Jesus was instructing his disciples on how to deal with interpersonal conflicts. It doesn’t give us a step-by-step guide for how to handle systemic problems in the church. Yet I believe we can generalize Jesus’ teaching to community-wide situations. For dealing with corporal sins, a reasonable implementation would be:

• Step 1. Bring up the matters as privately and gently as possible with community leaders who are in a position to do something about them. If they do not listen, then proceed to…
• Step 2. Involve some more people (witnesses) who can back up your claims and testify that what you are saying is credible. Give the leaders hard evidence. Offer to work with them toward reasonable solutions. Do so patiently and persistently. If after repeated attempts they still do not listen, after you have exhausted all the reasonable alternatives, then proceed to…
• Step 3. Tell it to the church.

In an organization like UBF, it’s very difficult even to begin Step 1. Opportunities for candid communication with leaders have been nonexistent. I’ve seen this countless times. If you bring up a serious concern about UBF with a leader, you are going to be told to stop worrying, be positive, be humble, devote yourself to Bible study and serving sheep, and so on. Questions about UBF culture and practices are considered off limits. There have never been any safe zones in UBF where you could talk about ministry-wide problems without getting shut down and labeled as a troublemaker. At best, you might find a leader who seems willing to listen to you with a sympathetic ear. But that person won’t ever do anything about the issues you have raised. Sooner or later, you discover that their “listening” is nothing more than a strategy to manage a person whom they believe has become difficult and needs to be cured of a spiritual disease.

So before even trying Step 1, I needed to work on

• Step 0. Create space where UBF members and leaders could raise awareness of community problems without being dismissed and without retribution.

About four years ago, I starting to work with like-minded people  to create opportunities to talk honestly about the state of the ministry. We had some limited success is the fall of 2009 when the General Director reluctantly agreed to have a no-agenda retreat where elders and senior staff could voice their concerns. That no-agenda discussion lasted for one day. It was helpful, but it was only a start. I felt that we had barely scratched the surface, and in the months following that retreat I tried to create more opportunities for open discussion. I assumed that the elders and senior staff were okay with this because, at the end of the retreat, everyone had agreed that “open communication” was a top priority. But my requests for open communication were not well received; the responses that I got were silence, indifference, condescension and, on a few occasions, rebuke.

During the summer of 2010, we created UBFriends, hoping that it would bring a spirit of glasnost. Prior to launching the website, I reached out to as many UBF members as I could, explaining what the website was about and inviting them to participate in the discussions. I repeatedly contacted the senior leaders and asked them to participate. Several promised that they would, and two senior staff members even told me that they would write articles. That never happened. (Except for the contributions of James Kim, who wrote an article last month. )

And that lack of participation wasn’t because this website was full of anti-UBF material. You can go into the archives and see for yourself the articles and comments that appeared in those early days. All of the discussions were extremely mild and very kind to the organization. This website was very pro-UBF. We thought the articles were relevant and thought-provoking.

But from the beginning, UBF leaders made no effort to participate in this website.

Why they chose to avoid UBFriends is still a mystery to me. Did they feel threatened by it? Did they think that it would make them look undignified? Were they afraid to speak in an environment that was not completely under their control? Were they unwilling to express personal opinions or take positions on issues without first getting someone’s approval? Did they even allow themselves to have their own personal thoughts and opinions? Did they think the articles and comments were rubbish? Did they simply not care?

Perhaps someday they will give me a truthful answer to why they have stayed away from UBFriends from the beginning. But I won’t hold my breath waiting. I’ve learned that UBF leaders operate within a very small comfort zone. If you try to bring them out of that zone, they will stubbornly refuse to go there. If you ask them a simple and direct question that makes them uncomfortable, they will dodge the question or lecture you about “keeping the spiritual order.”  And in most cases, they will simply remain silent.

Let me now return to the question that prompted this article. Have I brought my concerns to UBF leaders in the presence of witnesses?

Witnesses play a crucial role. Without witnesses, the leaders are going to say, “Well, ahem, I see you are concerned about something. But I don’t hear anyone else talking about this. These are your personal opinions. Everyone else here seems to think that UBF is working pretty well.”

Without presenting evidence through testimony of witnesses, my concerns about UBF were being ignored and dismissed.

But in the UBF cultural environment, gathering evidence and witnesses must be done very cautiously. It can backfire in so many ways. For example, if you bring your concerns to UBF leaders with a group of like-minded people, the leaders will say that you are starting another R-group to split UBF. They will say that you are manipulating people and tricking them into following you so that you can gain power. (Yes, I have been accused of this. People have said, “Joe Schafer is like Absalom.”)

And if you bring the testimony of a witness to the leaders, the first thing they will ask is, “Who has been saying that?” As soon as they find out who the person is, they begin the process of isolating, discrediting and dissecting. They concoct all kinds of reasons why the witness is disgruntled and should not be taken seriously. SL was very, very good at weaving elaborate tales about people, diagnosing their alleged spiritual problems, creating intricate theories about why they were unhappy that had nothing to do with the actual matter. UBF leaders have learned how to do this from SL’s example and have become very adept at it. Anyone who sticks his neck out to become a witness against UBF practices is going to be the subject of character defamation, rumor mongering and shunning. He will be deserted by many of his “friends.” For these reasons, many potential witnesses in UBF will not come forward, because they know what would happen to them. They know the price they will have to pay, and feel the price is too steep.

So the gathering of witnesses needs to be done carefully.

After the fall 2009 retreat, a whole year passed without any opportunities for dialogue. I repeatedly contacted leaders to discuss important issues. My appeals were ignored. I was told that discussions should not happen by email and must happen only in face-to-face meetings. But those hypothetical meetings weren’t happening. Meanwhile, I sensed that the environment in UBF was getting worse. People were growing more and more dispirited and sullen. Meetings and conferences were permeated with an overwhelming sense of malaise. In fact, it seemed that many the people showing up at UBF events were ashamed of the ministry and its leaders.

But the leaders of UBF seemed not to notice this. They were acting as though everything was fine. They seemed to be living in a bubble, surrounded by like-minded people who told them only what they wanted to hear.

In November of 2010, I urgently felt that I needed to do something to wake up the leaders to the seriousness of the situation. I contacted approximately fifty UBF members whom I trusted to give me honest feedback about their perceptions of the ministry and its leadership. I asked them to respond to these five questions.

Question 1: What are the messages – the vision, direction, prayer topics, values, attitudes, etc. – that are actually being presented to you by UBF senior leaders? What are they trying to get you to do?

Question 2: How do you feel about these messages? Do they inspire you?

Question 3: What kind of message coming from senior leaders would truly inspire you, making you enthusiastic, happy, and truly wanting to remain in UBF for the foreseeable future?

Question 4: What would it take to make UBF a place that you are proud of, a place to which you could enthusiastically invite Christian and non-Christian friends to come and see without hesitation, reservation or apology?

Question 5: If there were a message that you could communicate to UBF’s General Director and the leaders of North American UBF (or European UBF, or wherever you are), what would it be?

About half of the people I contacted gave me written responses that were very thoughtful and very thorough. I read everyone’s comments very carefully and searched for common themes. Then I synthesized everything into a lengthy report that I sent to the North American senior leaders in November, 2010. Much of the report consisted of direct quotes from the respondents, with identifying information removed to keep them anonymous. My findings were:

1. UBF messages do not inspire the members.

2. The gospel is being assumed more than it is being proclaimed.

3. UBF is self-absorbed and inwardly focused, lifting itself up while ignoring the greater message of God’s kingdom and unity with the larger Body of Christ.

4. Leaders place a heavy focus on increasing UBF numbers and participating in certain outward activities as the primary measure of fruitfulness and spiritual growth.

5. Obedience to human leaders in UBF is still expected and demanded, and discussion of problematic aspects of UBF is still not tolerated.

6. In many ways, UBF still operates as a Korean church, maintaining a cultural climate that makes Americans uncomfortable.

7. UBF leaders continue to expect members to press on with fishing, one-to-one Bible study, and campus ministry, ignoring the demographic realities of who the members actually are, and ignoring other important ways of serving God.

8. The older generation is now telling the younger generation what their spiritual heritage and vision are without consulting them and without seeking renewal from the Holy Spirit.

The situation was bad, much worse than I had thought. Morale among members was so low that I predicted an exodus within the coming year. I wrote:

It is impossible to predict how many people are going leave UBF, or when they are going to leave. My best guess is that, if members perceive little change when the next General Director is announced next year, an exodus will begin. When valued members leave us, there is real or perceived betrayal. Significant relationships are broken, producing a great deal of pain and conflict; morale drops further, which may lead to even more departures.

If you are interested in seeing the whole report, you can read the full text of the document here.

By now, you are probably wondering how the leaders responded to my efforts. Well, my friends, that’s a fascinating story. You will have to stay tuned…

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

There are many, many things that have happened in my church — some long ago, some recent — that are weighing heavily upon my conscience. They weigh heavily upon me because, as a leader and pastor, I believe that I am supposed to hold my fellow leaders and pastors accountable for what they do and what they fail to do, just as they are supposed to hold me accountable.

In these matters,  I believe that I have followed the instructions of Jesus using the channels of communication available to me. On numerous occasions I have communicated my concerns privately to the General Director. I have brought many specific issues to the attention of the North American senior staff. I have been in close communication with the Ethics Commitee. I have exhausted every avenue of private communication that is available.

No, I have not done so perfectly. I have not always spoken to UBF leaders in their preferred style of communication. At times I have been very blunt. At times I have revealed anger and frustration. I have not said things exactly as Jesus would because I am not Jesus. But those of you who know me well can testify that I have made a good faith effort to express these concerns to leaders on numerous occasions. At times, I was led to believe that something meaningful would be done. I patiently waited for something to be done. I waited and waited and waited. But now all the signs that I can see are showing that leaders are not willing to address these concerns in any serious way. Their lack of response tells me that they are just not listening, and that from now on they intend to listen to me even less.

Jesus said, “If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church.” So if you beling to UBF or are a concerned member of the wider church, I will now tell you what I am concerned about.

My concern is that UBF leaders are still unwilling to face the ministry’s history of abusive discipleship practices. These abuses did not just happen once in a while. They were a regular defining feature of UBF as far back as I can remember.

Here is a short list of some of the things I am talking about. I gave this list earlier today in a comment on this website. Comments tend to disappear from view after just a few hours. I don’t want this list to disappear from view. So I’m reposting it now as an article.

These are some of the things that I remember about being in Chicago UBF when SL was directing. These are the some practices that defined UBF style discipleship for me when I entered the ministry. The specific practices and bad theology that justified them were not limited to Chicago, nor have they disappeared. They still persist nearly everywhere that UBF operates in varying ways and degrees. Even if they didn’t persist, we still need to talk about them, because these things have a long lasting impact on individuals and the community as a whole. These experiences have shaped us in ways that we have never understood or admitted,

I will state these things as objectively as I can, without making any value judgments. Then you can judge for yourselves whether they are problematic.

* SL reserved the right to change the name of anyone at any time. He reserved the right to name your children.

* SL reserved the right to tell you to quit your job at a moment’s notice.

* He reserved the right to tell you at any time to change your clothing or hairstyle.

* No one could marry without his specific approval. He chose whom you could marry. The wedding would be at a time and place of his choosing.

* In many cases, the length of time between when he introduced people to each other and told them that they ought to marry and the actual wedding was less than one week.

* When he married couples, he made up the wedding vows and regularly inserted promises that had nothing to do with marriage (such as promising to go as missionaries to Russia etc.). These vows were not agreed upon by the couple ahead of time.

* If you turned down a marriage candidate that he chose for you, you could be severely rebuked and trained for it. One woman who didn’t want to marry a Korean missionary was told by him, “If you say no again, you will go to hell.”

* No one could miss a Monday night meeting or a Friday night meeting or SWS ever. If you missed a meeting without a good excuse (or even if you had an excuse) you would get rebuked and trained.

* SL would often impose quotas on fellowship leaders to bring a certain number of people to SWS and to conferences. Those who failed would be shamed or punished in various ways.

* If SL thought you did not offer enough money at Christmas worship service, he might rebuke you in front of everyone.

* Sometimes he told missionaries and sheperds whose parents were well off to ask their parents for large sums of money.

* When SL rebuked people, he often did so harshly. Many of his comments to people and about people were far more brazen and brutal than the comments that have appeared here on UBFriends. But no one objected to SL’s language because they got used to it. They believed he had a right to speak that way because he was “God’s servant.”

* No one could take a trip or travel outside the Chicago area for any reason without SL’s approval. And if you did travel, you had better be back in town for Sunday worship service, otherwise you would be severely rebuked and trained.

* If you were from another chapter (not Chicago) and you were selected to go on a “journey team” to Korea or elsewhere, you were told to buy an airline ticket to Chicago with an open return date (which was very expensive). The reason for the open return date is that once you were in Chicago, SL reserved the right to keep you there indefinitely for training. You were not allowed to leave Chicago until he told you that you could.

* SL would often prescribe unorthodox diets and medical treatments and in some cases surgical procedures and the doctors and nurses in Chicago UBF would carry them out.

* If you objected to any of these practices, all of the missionaries and shepherds would immediately counsel you to obey SL because he was God’s servant. Failure to obey even in a very small matter could result in Skokie training, monetary fines, public shaming, etc.

I could go on listing many more of these practices.

Perhaps some people will object that I have aired UBF’s dirty laundry on a public website. But this is not UBF’s dirty laundry. These were the standard operating procedures for the fellowship. They happened on a regular basis, and everyone knew about them. There are many, many more scandalous things that I could mention but won’t.

I stand as a witness to the church to tell you that these things actually happened. I am not saying that everything that UBF ever did was bad. I am not saying that all UBF ever did was to abuse people every day. UBF has done many things over the years. And the things I have listed above are a very real part of UBF’s history.

If you witnessed these things too, please say so.

If you think that I’m lying, that I’ve made these things up, please say so.

If you think that this article is just an immature rant and should not be taken seriously, please tell me why.

If you think that these practices are not a problem and that they are consistent with the gospel, please tell me why.

If you think that these practices have no adverse long-term impact on people, please tell me why.

If you think that UBF can just forget about this stuff and go on trying to preach the gospel and raise disciples without acknowledging its history, please tell me why.

If you think that it was wrong for me to write these things on UBFriends, please tell me when and where and how I could have handled these concerns.

Recently, I spoke with a girl in UBF who was introduced and engaged to a boy several years ago. But she broke off the engagement. She explained that at the time she felt pressured by her Bible teacher to accept “marriage by faith.” She also felt competitive toward other single girls like her in the ministry. So she agreed to the engagement and to “marry by faith.” But several years later she decided to call it off. Now she feels guilty that she broke off the engagement.

She is a sincere Christian who wants to do what is right. Like every Christian girl she wants God to bless her with a Christian husband who will love and cherish her. But because she broke off her two year engagement she now feels that God is displeased with her.

So I used this as an opportunity to explain to her the gospel. In particular, I stressed that God does not love her more or less whether she stays engaged and “marries by faith” or breaks the engagement. God’s love for her does not change whether she is struggling to obey God or giving into sin. This is basic and fundamental to Christianity. This is the gospel. I encouraged her to reject Satan’s accusations by dwelling in the gospel of God’s love and grace, and to seek God’s will for her life, her future and her marriage.

On another occasion, another girl broke off a two year engagement. This angered the boy’s shepherd. He wanted the engagement obligation kept even though the girl clearly made up her mind that she cannot go through with it. He said, “Engagement is tantamount to marriage.” As I recollect it, that statement is not in the Bible. It is only in UBF manuscripts that speak about Joseph’s engagement to the virgin Mary (Mt 1:18-25). I realize that some UBFers assume that what is written in a UBF manuscript is gospel truth.

Why has this happened? I think that UBF’s “marriage by faith policy” has likely created pressure and false guilt, especially when one refuses a person introduced to them. Sadly, some UBF leaders inadvertently communicate that if you reject the person introduced, you lack faith and God will now punish you. Some are “trained” by having to wait for some years before they are introduced to someone else again. Such practices are wrong on so many levels: it obscures the gospel; it obscures faith by promoting work righteousness and forced obedience; it destroys freedom in Christ; it produces pride in those who accept it, and guilt in those who reject it; it puts marriage in the hands of the UBF leader rather than in the couple. (See Commandment 7 in The 10 Commandments of UBF.) As mentioned, I hope that such unhealthy practices may soon be addressed.

Thoughts?

1. You shall not put your church (core values, methods, legacy) above my Word and my Son.
2. You shall not make your church an idol in Asia or the Americas or anywhere else in the heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.
3. You shall not be Lord over your sheep or replace the Holy Spirit in their life.
4. Remember to find rest in God alone, and not be burdened by many church-driven activities.
5. Honor and fear God more than you fear your human shepherd and church director(s), so that you may live with love, joy and peace all your days.
6. You shall not gossip and slander those who leave your church or disagrees with your church.
7. You shall not control who or when your sheep marries, their wedding guest list and menu, or how they live their lives after marriage.
8. You shall not steal God’s glory by having certain people decide the lives of others in the church by their unilateral decisions.
9. You shall not lie and spin stories to justify your church, but simply tell the truth that gives freedom.
10. You shall not judge and belittle other Christians, churches and chapters.

Here are some practical scenarios:

1) If a person wants to date/marry, will your church obey #1, #3, and #7?

2) If a person disagrees with “non-essentials of the faith” (testimony writing, attending your church conferences, etc), will your church obey #1, #3, #4, and #6?

3) Will your church leaders obey #9 and encourage everyone in church to do the same?

4 + 6. These 10 Commandments express love for God (1-4) and love for neighbor (5-10). How well does UBF love God and neighbor?

Commenting on the “Most Commented.”

The top topics/issues “never” found on official UBF websites are:

1. Exodus: People leaving UBF (#1 and #10), often in droves since the 1970s.

2. Cult: Authoritarianism causes infuriation (#2 and #3).

3. Marriage: Countless horrible complaints about “marriage by faith” (#4 and #9).

4. Honesty: Please be honest!!! (#5 and #8), with #5 still being commented on.

5. Dialogue: Please let’s talk! (#6), instead of having too many “Bible” meetings where people can’t “talk,” because the meeting is controlled and driven by the leader’s agenda and directives!

6. Gospel: What is the gospel (#7)? Is UBF so mission driven that we forget or assume the gospel?

Is this short list an accurate reflection of the top issues that UBF has generally ignored or avoided over the years? What might other important issues be that are missing from this short list?

Scary words of Jesus.

I want to be blessed. I hesitated studying Revelation for the longest time. Yet this book promises a blessing to anyone who reads it, hears it and takes it to heart (Rev 1:3). Since I want to be blessed, I began to read several books in order to understand apocalyptic literature, which is the genre of Revelation. Last year, while in Manila, I preached on The Revelation of Jesus Christ (Rev 1:1-20), What Is Heaven Like? (Rev 21:1-22:5), and Christian, Listen Up! (Rev 2:1-3:22); my intent was to cover what Jesus says to the seven churches in one sermon. I wanted to be done with it. But the Filipino UBF leaders asked me to teach on the seven churches at their Easter Conference (Apr 29-31, 2013). So I had to restudy them…again. I was surprised how relevant it was to me and to our contemporary churches. This is a very brief summation of what I learned.

Ephesus: Discernment Without Love (Rev 2:1-7). They were very good and solid with truth, but they lacked love for others. They loved Jesus, but their dwindling declining love for people displeased Jesus.

Smyrna: The Riches of Poverty (Rev 2:8-11). This is one of two churches with no rebukes, because they were willing to suffer, be imprisoned and martyred by not denying the name of Jesus.

Pergamum: Compromising and Defiled (Rev 2:12-17). Though they were true to the name of Jesus like Smyrna, yet they compromised with idolatry and sexual immorality, thus defiling themselves.

Thyatira: Love Without Discernment (Rev 2:18-29). They were the opposite of Ephesus. They were doing more out of love than before, yet like Pergamum they compromised with idolatry and sexual immorality.

Sardis: Giving False Impressions (Rev 3:1-7). They were very good at making themselves look like a really good and lively church. But Jesus saw that they were dead.

Philadelphia: Keeping God’s Word With Little Strength (Rev 3:7-13). This is the second church after Smyrna with no rebuke. Despite having little strength they kept Jesus’ word.

Laodicea: The Poverty of Riches (Rev 3:14-22). They are the opposite of Smyrna, who was poor yet rich. Their wealth and self-sufficiency made them lukewarm, wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked!

Hear what the Spirit says. To all seven churches, Jesus exhorts repentance and faithfulness to Jesus to the end, and says, “Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” To all who overcome and are victorious Jesus promises ultimate blessings that nothing in this world can ever give.

Do I love as I did at first? Personally, I perhaps relate most to Ephesus, since I love the Bible, but might have trouble loving as I did at first…especially when I am annoyed. Living in affluent America, the temptation of idolatry, immorality, duplicity and money is ever present, which was the defilement of Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis and Laodicea. I pray to live the faithfulness unto death of Smyrna and the unwavering perseverance of Philadelphia despite having little strength.

Does Jesus have anything against you? Which church do you most relate to?

For the Church

Gracious Father, we pray for the holy Catholic Church. Fill it with with all truth, in all truth with all peace. Where it is corrupt, purify it; where it is in error, direct it; where in any thing it is amiss, reform it. Where it is right, strengthen it.; where it is in want, provide for it; where it is divided, reunite it, for the sake of Jesus Christ your Son our Savior. Amen.

For Our Enemies

O God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth; deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty and revenge; and in your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

For the Unity of the Church

O God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, our only Savior, the Prince of Peace: Give us grace seriously to lay to heart the great dangers we are in by our unhappy divisions; take away all hatred and prejudice, and whatever else may hinder us from godly union and concord; that, as there is one Body and one Spirit, one hope of our calling, one Lord, one Faith, one Baptism, one God and Father of us all, so we may all be of one heart and of one soul, united in one holy bond of truth and peace, of faith and charity, and may with one mind and one mouth glorify you, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

And here is one more from The Paraclete Psalter:

Eternal and omnipotent God,

you have called us to be members of one body.

Join us with those who in all times and places have praised your name,

that with one heart and mind, we may show the unity of your church,

and bring honor to our Lord and Savior.

We ask this through the same Jesus Christ, your Son,

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

one God, forever and ever. Amen.

A key to successful leadership is delegation.

“Gopher delegation” and controlling leaders. There is a form of delegation that does not work. Stephen Covey, in his bestseller The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People calls it “gopher delegation.” The leader tells his junior leaders “go fer this” and “go fer that.” It is a delegation where the top leader is still in control by not delegating his authority and power. As a result, junior leaders are still expected to continue to defer to the leader for their approval and consent. Ajith Fernando, in his commentary on Deuteronomy, writes:

“…we need to invest in people so that they understand the inside workings of our group. We have to open up ourselves and our dreams to others. Then we have to trust them to carry the ball and move forward. Unfortunately, the controlling type of micromanager may not have people available to take on such responsibilities. Often they have young and enthusiastic workers who are excited by the program and are willing to work under the controlling leader. But once they become mature and have visions of their own, they find the environment too restricting, and they leave. This is usually very painful because often controlling leaders have cared for their people sacrificially. So it is very painful to see them depart.”

Good leaders (like Moses) are humble by willing to surrender their authority and control. When two individuals were prophesying in their own camp apart from the group that met under Moses, Joshua says to Moses, “Stop them” (Num 11:28). But Moses showed that he did not have to have authority and control over them. He said, “Are you jealous for my sake? I wish that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the Lord would put his Spirit on them!” (Num 11:29). Eight verses later, Num 12:3 says that Moses was “more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.” An expression of humility is to allow success by others that is not directly under the leader’s authority and control.

Good leaders give new leaders the freedom to do things their way. Good leaders not only let go of their authority and control but they also let delegated leaders do things differently from the way that the leader once did. Because personalities differ, leadership styles and methods of doing things will also differ from leader to leader. Great leaders focus on the grand task and impart their vision to others. Then they allow these other leaders to implement the vision they imparted in the way that the other leaders think is best.

I found such leadership that humbly lets go of control and that trusts younger leaders refreshing and truly empowering. What is your experience with your leaders?

Reconciliation is the “hardest” job of Christians.

My weakest attribute. In the short run, there is no glory and no honor in reconciliation. Why not? From the Beatitudes (Mt 5:3-12), my weakest attribute is to be a peacemaker (Mt 5:9); I have been a troublemaker all of my life for as long as I (and my mom) can remember. Reconciliation requires peacemaking. Peacemaking requires considering the other person above yourself. It is tough. It feels like I must crucify my ego and pride, my glory and honor, if I truly want to be a peacemaker who promotes reconciliation.

Every man’s default is to self. Even Christians who genuinely love and serve others default to self when doing so. Others benefit when we love and serve them. But we also benefit when what we do benefits others. We do receive honor and glory when we love and serve others. I feel good when I think “I am a servant of God!” I feel good when others appreciate what I have done for them in Christ. Yes, there is glory and honor when we love and serve others as Christians should.

Even to reconcile with my dearest wife is hard. I love my dear wife more than my own life. But if she seems to be cold toward me, my spontaneous reaction is “I can play the same game too!!!” It is no fun if I am proactively humble, loving and gracious if I feel she is dismissive of me (which is my oversensitivity because of always wanting to be loved by her). If it is hard with a dear spouse, what about less dear ones?

For reconciliation and peacemaking, Jesus became the utmost hideous one. On the cross, there was no glory and honor for Jesus. He became like one from whom men hide their faces (Isa 53:3). Though he was the most beautiful and majestic one (Ps 27:4; Isa 33:17), he became like one who had no beauty or majesty (Isa 53:2). On the cross Jesus lost all of his honor and glory, so that we who have no honor and glory may be conferred with honor and glory through him.

Though this messy website may cause some who enter to lose their honor and glory, may God promote reconciliation through our feeble efforts.

Without neglecting the latter, do you agree that it is more biblical and pleasing to God to reconcile with one former church member, than to find and recruit 99 new members?

The hardest part about leaving spiritual abuse is forgiving myself for letting (spiritual abuse to) happen.

• Forgiving myself for letting my wife to be trampled on and treated little more than just a “sheep’s wife.”
• Forgiving myself for allowing leaders to attack her and malign her while I said nothing.
• Forgiving myself for allowing my children to be cast aside with babysitters even 6x per week, even before my newborn was even weaned.
• Forgiving myself that I allowed my identity, thoughts, and conscience to be systematically rewired through thought-readjustment strategies (“testimony writing”).
• Forgiving myself that I treated my parents and sisters like dirt when their desires weren’t compatible with the activities of the ministry.
• And most of all, forgiving myself that I allowed my personal relationship with Jesus Christ to be dominated by and completely defined by a group of people and a bunch of activities.

I am not saying that such shepherding happens in all UBF chapters. But it did happen in a UBF chapter, for which all UBF leaders should be responsible for, shouldn’t we? May God have mercy on all of us in UBF, for we were a part of such “shepherding” that happened under our very noses. Should we remain silent and just “keep going fishing and feed new sheep”?

On more than one occasion, different people said that those who joined West Loop (WL) UBF were simply coerced by me. It implied that they had no will power or decision making ability of their own. Or when some decision is made, the sentiment was that it was my decision, which I imposed on the collective majority at WL. When WL began in 2008, it was said that I was not wise in “choosing” people to join me at WL because the people I “choose” were not those who could prosper the ministry. This implied that WL people had no power or will to choose for themselves (because I choose them), and that they were not productive or fruitful people who can grow a church. Wow! Were some of my dearest friends just thrown under the bus?

Can you understand why this is my “worst” infuriation? What might yours be?

I regard this as a remarkable providence of God upon my life. God led me half way around the world from Malaysia to Chicago to attend a church that took it upon herself to provide a wife for me. To some this might seem odd. But to me, it was nothing but marvelous providential grace because I could not have gotten married on my own, and I knew it.

Do you have a happy story to share?

Being a choleric confrontational “in your face” type of person, an annoying tendency of mine is to speak in generalizations and extremes, such as my worst sin, which I was told was no big deal. “Small” humiliations might be spoken of, but what about the “worst” ones?

As a Christian, I think that it is always hard to speak about the “worst” humiliations for several reasons:

1. It is painful and gut wrenching.
2. It makes you feel small and weak, since you could not take it like a man.
3. It implicates, blames, accuses, judges someone else who humiliated you, and puts them in a horribly bad light as the bad guy.
4. It somehow denies the sovereignty of God who allowed you to feel humiliated or be taken advantage of by someone else.

How can I speak about being humiliated without violating my conscience as a loving Christian who wants to honor and glorify God, and who does not want to draw attention to myself as a pitiful victim? It is hard. I am a sinner who sins. Will I be sinning by addressing what I feel to be my worst humiliation? Perhaps so. May God have mercy. I especially do not want to do #3.

My worst “humiliation” was being dismissed from a position of leadership in UBF and informed, not by the decision maker(s), but by a young man half my age. This was done unililaterally without my knowledge and without any prior discussion with me. I regard this as my worst humiliation, because my opinion and “feelings” were not considered. Without being personally told, I was judged and evaluated as not doing what some leaders wanted. The decision to replace me never involved any input from me. What I felt (which I am sure was not anyone’s intention) was, “You’re no good. You did a poor job. You’re a bad leader. Your opinion or input is not important. There is a better man for the job.” Incidentally, this is all true! Yet it was painful and hard for me to face. From the perspective of God’s perfect and loving sovereignty, it was the best thing for me. Also, I likely got a taste of my own medicine that I had previously dished out to others!!

The result of this “worst” humiliation was that it drew me closer to Christ. Gen 50:20 and Rom 8:28 became “more real” to me. It opened my eyes to see things more objectively. It compelled me to have genuine love and compassion and understanding for those who experienced similar humiliations. It made me enjoy underdog status–not that I ever had any other status. It promoted critical thinking in me, hopefully without making me more cynical, jaded or untrusting. It made me bold and fearless. It again affirmed to me that my life, my future and my destiny is entirely in God’s hands alone. I am not sure about this, but I also hope that it made me a little more humble. But that’s all that it is–a hope.

Do you have a “worst” humiliation to share?

UBF, on a wide scale, needs to acknowledge that blaming the person who leaves UBF is never the way to solve any problem. Blaming others fails to take any personal responsibility. So, people will continue to leave, as has been the case. Last month another couple left after two decades in UBF. In 2013, my hope and prayer is that issues that have existed for many decades in many UBF chapters, big and small, may be addressed by taking more and more personal responsibility.

In Part 1, I shared Joshua’s well articulated comment that many people leave UBF because they feel their freedom in Christ restricted, controlled and dictated by their pastor (or shepherd or chapter leader). In Part 2, I post another perceptive comment by Joshua as to why people leave UBF even after many years: “the (40-50 year) unspoken and yet very present idea that individuals exist for the perpetuation of the ministry….therefore their lives must be externally controlled in a manner that is conducive to the continuation of the objectives of the ministry.” Aren’t Joshua’s comments valid? If so, perhaps solutions to problems may begin to be tackled by asking some hard questions:

Are some UBF members freedom restricted, controlled and dictated by their UBF leaders?

Does UBF compel its members to exist for UBF’s success, as determined by the leader?

Do UBF leaders take responsibility for causing people to leave UBF?

Is everyone agreed that UBF’s leadership style is authoritarian and hierarchical (which is unhealthy, unbiblical and un-Christlike)?

Based on Jen’s comment, should a UBF member be reprimanded for suggesting ministry ideas to her chapter leader, since she is “not the leader”?

According to David’s comment, a person who critiques UBF is interpreted as having their own problems or is in a bad mood. Is this true?

All seem agreed, including Chris, that communication and dialogue needs to happen. But according to Joe’s comment, both public and private communication has been difficult. Why?

Should UBF stop promoting Christianity as military training?

Do we need to address the way some UBF chapters help people to “marry by faith”?

Does UBF have a view to prosper the universal church?

Are we happy to genuinely speak well of those who leave UBF?

Thoughts? Further questions or comments?