I plan to continue sharing each summary. Feel free to jump in at any time. I hope to share my reactions to questions posed to me from time to time by people of the non-affirming conscience. Whenever I say “God is love”, the response is often, “But God is holy.” The non-affirming conscience rightly concerns about the holiness of God. Are we disobeying God? What is God up to? Is there any possibility that God could be doing a new thing among gender and sexual minorities?

How do Christians navigate any change or issue?

When faced with new realities and cultural shifts, Christians begin and end with the gospel. Christians live as citizens of the kingdom of God. Christians face the facts of new realities with hope and compassion for the marginalized, and a passion for justice.

Christians look not only to the Bible but at least 2 other sources. Christians consider the prompting of the Holy Spirit, the lessons from Tradition, the human testimony of experience, and also sound, logical reasoning.

For example, how does a church react when an elderly couple asks to be blessed with the sacrament of marriage? Do they quote verses about “be fruitful”? Do they demand celibacy for the couple? For most churches, the answer is no, the couple would be allowed to marry even though there is no chance of children being born.

A word about holiness and obedience

To be holy is a valid Christian concern. To be holy is to be “set apart”. I would ask us to consider what we are set apart for? I contend that the holiness Jesus taught is very different from the holiness the Pharisees taught. Holiness is no longer about obeying a holiness code.

To be holy means to be willingly contaminated with the physical world, trusting that our heart and soul are kept pure by the hand of God.

Who is the most holy person you can think of? Mother Theresa is a common answer. She died September 5, 1997 in Kolkata, India. She is the one who lived her life in the contamination of the world, surrounded by the outcast. We seem to be so afraid of being physically or socially or spiritually contaminated that we avoid the very places that would strengthen our holiness and help bring about redemption to those around us. Jesus ate and drank with prostitutes. Does our idea of holiness allow us to do the same?

What new reality are we seeing?

Some have claimed we are seeing waves of sin and immorality and disobedience. Others claim we are in the end-times apocalypse. My contention is that we are seeing the kingdom of God coming to earth in a new wine fashion. I contend that we are seeing three reformations:

-The disarming of religious authorities
-The unleashing of freedom (break every enslavement)
-The deconstruction of male-dominated patriarchy

The “male and female” thread in the Bible

I contend further that we are seeing the binary wineskin of “male and female” bursting in society around us. People tend to quote Genesis 5:2 and point out that God created “male and female” in the beginning. I agree. I would point out that the end of the “male and female” thread in the Bible is Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” NIV.

Questions for discussion

Why is everything outside of “male and female” considered broken or disordered?

What does the bible condemn in regard to our modern, non-male/female term “homosexuality”?

In light of the male/female binary fading away, might we revisit the meaning of marriage?

How can we sustain “hate the sin, love the sinner”?

Should the church be the safest place to work this out?

How can we say that practicing homosexuality is any different from the desire of homosexuality?

Why I am fully affirming

Please note that I am NOT affirming gay sex orgies or immorality. I am ONLY affirming same-sex marriage. My claim is that sex is no longer sin in the confines of marriage.

I see three corrections gender and sexual minorities are already bringing to the church. This is the subject of my Lambhearted Lion book:

A more robust understanding of the gospel
-Move beyond atonement toward reconciliation
-Revisit Scripture without “male and female”

A restoration to the purpose of the church
-Are we sin police? Who is King? Who is Lord?

An excitement about philosophy and theology of life
-A gay Christian inspired me to return to church!

I also see three gifts gender and sexual minorities are already bringing to the church. This is the subject of my New Wine book:

The gift of heart
-Move toward courage, hope, compassion

The gift of holiness
-Deeper understanding of unity, conscience and purity

The gift of celebration
-All-surpassing joy of hospitality, marriage, celibacy

Love and marriage

Marriage and the Trinity. I’ve previously written a few articles on marriage. If Not For UBF I Would Not Be Married (2013). Marriage by faith (Should no dating be a church policy?) (2012). Marriage is covenant keeping (2011). Marriage is ever mysterious, majestic, mystical, magical and marvelous. For of all human relationships marriage most mirrors the Trinity, especially regarding love, intimacy, friendship, trust and vulnerability. That is why the fulfillment of a happy marriage knows no limit, while the agony of a bad marriage can be totally devastating and heart breaking.

Keep your head. Today it seems to be almost a given that the majority of people will only marry those they love. Surely there’s nothing wrong with this. But a wise U.S. President said to his daughter regarding marriage, “With matters of the heart you must always keep your head.” This is surely sound advice, for when objectivity is clouded, hazy or lost Prince Charming morphs into some hideous alien creature after marriage.

Is there no one I can marry? Once I advised a group of single young Christian women about the kind of man they should NEVER marry: The lazy, the drunks, the addicts, the irresponsible, those who cuss and spend hours playing video games, those who flirt and watch porn, and especially those who can’t control their temper during courtship. Then I realized that I’ve virtually excluded ALL potential husbands! But I think that my list is still valid.

For the single young Christian man I perhaps have only one thing to say: Do not marry entirely based on “something in the way she moves!” As much as I love the song, it’s probably horrible advice for marriage.

My favorite quote for fathers. “The best way for a father to love his children is to love their mother.” As all parents should know, children do not listen to their parents’ advice but they follow their example.

Love must be forever. God’s love is forever (Jer 31:3). It never changes (Heb 13:8). Lee Kwan Yew (1923-2015), the great statesman who build Singapore from a third world country to a first world country died recently. A less known fact about him is that he continued to love and care for his wife after she had a stroke and became an invalid until her death at age 89. An account of his unfailing love for his wife is here. The great Princeton theologian Benjamin Warfield (1851-1921) similarly loved his invalid wife and revolved his entire life and marriage on taking care of her….for 39 years.

Going back to what my friend said, I responded that a happy marriage primarily depends on loving the one you marry. He agreed. Is it that simple?