Red Flag: Praying for others to change

In some online discussions with former ubf members this week, I realized that prayer is taught by ubf teachers as a tool for change. We almost always exclusively prayed for the nation to change, for sheep to change, for some other country to change, for our children to change, etc. We always said “I’m praying for you” with the sentiment of “You need to change somehow”.

So many times the prayers of ubf shepherds are about pointing out sins in their sheep. How many remember sitting through a long prayer session where people prayed about your sins and how much you need to change?

Yet when did Jesus ever call a prayer meeting to change people or the nations? Do we see any evidence that Christian prayer is to be focused on changing something in other people?

I now see this kind of prayer as a red flag of spiritual abuse. If ubfers are praying for us former members to “repent” or “come back to our senses” then it is wasted effort. In the same way, if we ex-ubfers are praying for missionaries to change or to publicly repent or for ubf to be destroyed, then it is also wasted effort. Such prayers are not of Christ, in my belief.

How should we pray?

Jesus taught about prayer several times. The most famous is of course the Lord’s Prayer. How does the prayer begin?

Prayer, as Jesus taught it, is about the glory of God, not about changing people.

Prayer is about God doing his will and bringing about his kingdom, not about changing a nation to be holy.

Prayer is about raising the awareness of our collective needs, not about reminding Bible students of their sins.

Prayer is about forgiving people, not about changing people.

Prayer is about discerning God’s leading and listening for God’s voice, not about submitting to your shepherd’s ideas and plans for your life.

So the next time you hear someone at ubf “pray for you”, remember this is a red flag of cult control. This form of spiritual abuse is something that must end. Prayer is a wonderful gift, not something to be abused as a tool of manipulation.

A “Person of Peace” And The Family

“I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.” (Phil 1:3-4, NIV)

Paul wrote this letter to the Philippian believers around 62 A.D. while he was in prison in Rome. He was so happy about their partnership in the Gospel. He opens his letter with these words to them;

“Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all God’s holy people in Christ Jesus at Philippi, together with the overseers and deacons: 2 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 1:1-6, NIV)

Philippi was a Roman colony in Macedonia. There were not many open doors for ministry in Philippi for there were few Jews there, and no synagogue. But God opened door there and into all of Europe. Acts 16:11-40 describes how Paul pioneered the church in Philippi. Paul met Lydia who accepted Jesus and opened her house to Paul and those with him. Paul met with the brothers there and encouraged them. A jailer and his whole family accepted the gospel and were baptized as believers. They were the first in Europe to join with Paul in propagating the Gospel. The Philippians remembered and supported Paul in his gospel ministry from the time he left them. Paul thanked God for their wonderful partnership. They continue to be his most faithful supporters in so many ways. When Paul remembered them, his heart was filled with joy and he honestly felt that it was a privilege to have them as partners in the gospel along with him.

In Acts 16:11-40, we can see three components of mission that are needed for every mission to be effective. We find Paul and his missionary team preaching the Gospel in a new community. We see Lydia and the jailor. They are converts. The jailer’s family all accepted the Gospel. They are the ones who invited Paul and his mission team into their homes. They are the ones that introduced Paul to their friends and neighbors. A new Gentile Christian church could be established because God worked in the hearts of these people, the first believers. Maybe Lydia or the jailor, were a “person of peace” and the other an “ancestor of faith”. We also see families. Paul did not have a family, but we see Lydia, who may have had one and the jailor who did. All of these are partners in the Gospel, vital components in forming this new church plant in Philippi and making inroads into Europe.

Part 1: Introduction

In this series we are investigating the different components of a successful missionary endeavor. In the development of a mission, there are not just missionaries. There are other missional entities, which partner in unison, to allow the body of Christ to thrive. God desires for all of them to work together. The important thing is to recognize these parts of the body and nurture working relationships with them as we live as missionaries. Anything less is neglecting part of the body of Christ and hindering the work of the missionary.

I propose that the most fruitful path to embark on, as missionaries, is nurturing solid relationships with six missional entities, all of which are part of the body of Christ.

1. Relationships with… a sending church
2. Relationships with… a mission agency
3. Relationships with… a receiving church
4. Relationships with… a missionary team
5. Relationships with… a “person of peace”
6. Relationships with… the family

This paper will define the six areas of relationship building. Our own family experience as a house church will be reflected upon. The things learned from the current mission to the Canada will added. There will also be some advice on how to nurture the relationships in the six areas.

The first part dealt with the necessity of nurturing relationships with a sending church and a mission agency. This second dealt with relationships with a receiving church and a missionary team. This third part will expound on the relationships with a person of peace and the family. The point of all this is to share about some ways that missionaries can be strengthened as they follow Jesus. Let’s see.

Part 2: Nurture A Relationship With A “Person Of Peace.”

A “person of peace” is one who is able to invite the missionary into a community. In the cross cultural setting, the missionary is the outsider. They are the minority. They may not even have a means of entering a community, without an invitation from an insider. Successful missionaries wait for God to send a person of peace to invite them into a community in order to serve the Gospel mission among the people.

With no “person of peace”, there is little hope in establishing a thriving Christian community among a particular people group. There is the heavy burden of being a constant outsider. There is always a long range prayer that someone, within the community, would come alongside the mission. But that may take years, decades, if it ever happens at all.

A person who is sort of a “person of peace”, but not really….is what my previous ministry called an “Abraham of faith.” Missionaries pray and pray for an “Abraham of faith”. This person is the first native convert that answers to same call of God which the missionaries have answered. They share in the same vision and mission as they come alongside the missionaries in a life of service with them.

Without a person of peace, sent by God, missionaries lay unreal expectations on their ancestor of faith, and other Bible students. Such a person is loaded with hopes and expectations by the missionaries, to help the missionaries navigate within the culture and invite native believers into church. Their plan might be to send a native Bible student to the community to make friends with the people and then the missionary would take over the discipleship. It is like a disciple assembly line. Though many hopes are laid up them, the converts might not function as a “person of peace.” They are a convert, yes. They may participate in ministry, yes. But they may not be able to penetrate a culture as the missionaries hope. They may operate outside the culture, for years with the missionaries. It is important not to lay hopes and our own expectations on those whom God sends. Bill Mills and Craig Parro of Leadership Resources International say it well,

“It is not only our dreams that cause us to be vulnerable and to give up in the ministry. The dreams of others also bring us great pressure. Many of our pastors are losing heart because they are not measuring up to the expectations of their people. Following Jesus’ ministry lifestyle of “wanting to see what God is doing” and entering into His eternal work is our greatest protection from burning out under the expectations of those whom God has given us in ministry.” (Finishing Well In Life And Ministry. Bill Mills and Craig Parro. Leadership Resources International. 2008-6^th printing. p. 240)

“I have heard from many pastors of small churches who find it very difficult to attend their denominational meetings or even to meet with a small group of fellow pastors. Rather than being built up and encouraged, these times often cause them to loose heart. It seems that there is no possibility any more for a small church to be healthy and have substantial ministry, for the pastors are sent the message, ‘If your church is not growing numerically, there is something wrong with you and your methods. If you are doing it right, your church will grow.” In North America we are future-oriented pragmatists who are committed to progress and who expect growth. We are convinced that “if we do these things that are proven to work, then we will achieve the success we desire.” However, God does not fit into that mindset. As we have seen in other places in our study, many pastors are losing their ability to endure under these pressures to produce.” (Finishing Well In Life And Ministry. Bill Mills and Craig Parro. Leadership Resources International. 2008-6^th printing. Page 241.)

It is so difficult to engage in cross cultural ministry without a “person of peace.” In one northern Canadian community I heard of a missionary family who built a house church across the lake from a First Nation community. They were not in the community. They tried to minister for a while, but eventually stopped. They were always on the outside of the culture. It is doubtful that fruitful long-term mission can be established without a “person of peace”, for the ministry will always be operating on the periphery of the culture.

We never had a person of peace to invite us into the culture of the campus. We were happy if we had a house close to the campus to live in and minister out of. We would begin a ministry among the students without an invitation into the community. We simply moved to a town and regularly went to campus to invite students to study the Bible. If they accepted the invitation to 1:1 Bible study…great! If not, then we would move on. I never thought we needed a person of peace to invite us into the campus community. This had significant repercussions in the success of our mission.

I was content to carry out my mission, without a “person of peace” for fourteen years. We had a faithful Bible student who became a faithful friend and fellow worker in our mission, for a while. After she left, there were a few other Bible students, but none were the “person of peace” that we needed. As a result, we were constantly operating on the periphery of the campus culture for fourteen years. In the end, I can say that I never did become part of the campus community, not even the campus Christian community. I was operating on the outside of the culture, never making lasting inroads into the community we were called to serve.

Without a “person of peace” and being a single family house church, ours was a lonely mission. There was always a looming sense of failure, for we were always wondering why we couldn’t become established in the campus culture. We spent 14 years pondering how to better serve as a campus ministry, but it just didn’t happen, mainly because we didn’t have a close relationship with a “person of peace”, inviting us in. What we needed was a Christian who was an insider to the campus culture, to introduce us and support our work. That person might have been, possibly a Christian professor or a Christian leader on campus or a Christian worker on the campus. I am not sure. But one thing I know, that person would have been heaven sent.

Recently, a retired Baptist pastor asked me, “How do you find this person of peace?” I came to the conclusion that it is really a divine event. That person must be established and introduced by God himself. There is no way that we can find such a person on our own. We must pray, depend on God and keep our eyes open. In this way all the glory goes to God, and not to our own strategies and human efforts.

In the mission, I am now involved in, a “person of peace” literally made an impassioned plea for missionaries, to our receiving church, two weeks before we first made contact in the region! It was obvious to all that this was the hand of God for God’s fingerprints were all over it. All people involved in the mission, were in agreement and together we proclaimed, “Amen!” for God had sent a “person of peace” to invite the missionaries into one community. Each community that the missionaries hope to serve with the Gospel will require a “person of peace.”

In order to find God’s “person of peace” missionaries and sending churches need to acknowledge the need for one. They need to pray and build relationships with a receiving church until God sends that person who can invite the missionary into the community they pray for. Don’t stop until it happens. Don’t be content with just finding a faithful Bible student or church attendant. Pray for a “person of peace.” And when God sends that person of peace, nurture that relationship for they are a gift from God. And remember to keep your eyes open for the next “person of peace” opening the way for the next community.

Nurturing the relationships with that person of peace, and even with an ancestor of faith, involves grace, respect and shared authority. Missionaries must include them in ministry decisions. They can not just be there to “rubber stamp” the missionaries’ ideas. They must know that they are an integral part of the mission, and not someone who is being exploited to only further the missionaries’ agenda. They need to be consulted on strategy and their suggestions taken seriously, for God sent them to the mission for a reason. Paternalism will never work when nurturing a relationship with the person of peace or an ancestor of faith.

Part 3: A Missionary Must Nurture Relationships With Their Family.

I have heard it said that a person’s ministry can only go as far as their marriage. God wants to reveal his glory through our family. He wants to reveal his grace, mercy, hope and truth through the family. Even if people don’t listen to the gospel, they can see the Gospel lived out among our family members.

I must confess that I did not spend the time and effort that I should have developing the relationships with my family members. Over the 14 years as a pastor of a “single family” house church, I was just barreling forward with the mission, trusting that the family thing would take care of itself. Julie and I are celebrating our 23^rd year of marriage this year. Our kids are relating to us. We are a family. We love each other. But we never directly focused on marriage development. It was all ministry activities, every day. We didn’t have the support and counsel of a local receiving church. We had occasional talks with the pastor of our sending church. We never went to marriage retreats. We never really talked about family things. We simply remained true to our mission. Mission took precedence over family. We called each other co-worker and our family a house church. We felt that as long as we remained true to our mission everything else would fall into place. We also benefited from our Catholic upbringing that emphasized staying married no matter what. There was also the example of people in our church organization who remained married. Though there have been some hard times, God blessed us over the last 23 years.

There is a temptation, among missionaries, to treat their kids as though they already believe in Jesus and as if they accept the mission as their own. I thought this way. I pushed the kids to engage in Bible study and keep the Sunday worship service going each and every week. I was proud that my kids could set up and run a Sunday service all by themselves if they needed. But the kids may not even believe in Jesus. The pushing of the kids to make ministry happen, may turn them off from wanting to come to Jesus. It is also hard to have a Sunday service when there is an unwilling atmosphere in the room. Pushing the kids will make the parents into authoritarian leaders, for without pushing the kids, the ministry probably would not stand. The kids may never want to part of what the parents are doing. The ministry runs the risk of being a one generation ministry.

After 26 years as a shepherd and Bible teacher, one would think that I would be a wonderful counselor. But this is not true. I learned to teach and preach, but not counsel wisely. I am really handicapped at talking to those closest to me. I never focused on nurturing familial relationships. But it is never too late to start, is it? Missionaries, in a cross cultural mission, must nurture relationships with their family members.

The family relationship must be developed. One of the best ways to nurture that relationship is to pray with one another regularly. Take time out to study God’s word together. Serve in the church together. Talk to one another. Look at Ephesians 5:22-33 as Paul talks about the relationship between husband and wife.

“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (ESV)

The relationship with the kids is important. In a mission, the ideal is for the kids to host visitors and minister with the parents. They can sing, pray, lead the youth group, and a whole host of things. But if the kids don’t want to be part of the mission, it is very difficult serve in a cross cultural context. What happens when the kids don’t want visitors to come over? When they express their dislikes for some people? What about when they remain quiet, held up in their rooms, simply waiting to leave the home? A lot of such things can be avoided if the relationship with the kids is nurtured well. Paul comments on this too in Ephesians 6:1-4…

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), ³ “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” ⁴ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (ESV)

The kids need to be met where they are at with the Lord, and not imposed with unreal demands to serve the ministry, just because the parents have a calling. The kids need to be respected, encouraged and talked to and ministered to according to where they are with the Lord. This will mean a deviation in ministry goals for the single missionary family. It could mean allowing the kids to fellowship with a receiving church. Pray for God’s wisdom.

One missionary asked me, “How is your church strengthening families?” I would say that the family culture is what is different. In the last three years there was one marriage conference. There has been two, “eight session” small group encounters. Putting the priority on marriage is not formally preached all of the time. But the church culture promotes it. There are no guilty feelings about missing a Sunday worship service or taking a vacation. Parents are putting their family first and mission after family as God allows and talking about it freely. The phrase, “being too family centered” is never spoken. The words co-worker and housechuch, when referring to family, are never spoken. People take family vacations. Family is highly honored. And the kids enjoy being in church. There is multigenerational worship and marriages.

In nurturing relationships with the family, I would say “work at it.” Be intentional. Embrace awkwardness. Enter into honest conversations and prayer together as a family. Keep the oneness in your marriage a top priority. Acknowledge that God himself brought you together for a purpose. Open your eyes to see how God is leading your family specifically. There are doors open around you, specifically for you and your family.

Part 4: Conclusion

As missionaries engage in mission, they need to nurture relationship with a “person of peace” and with their family. Without a strong relationship with a person of peace, the mission will always operate on the outside of the culture and community that the missionaries are praying to serve. They will have a sense of failure in their hearts and make unreal demands and expectations on their family and Bible students that God sends. They must pray and keep their eyes open and enter into partnerships with the person of peace, and not just exploitive relationships to advance the mission. With a person of peace the missionaries can penetrate the culture and build a mission serves the people they pray for. Missionaries must also nurture relationships with the family. They can only go as far as the family relationships go. The marriage relationship must be worked on with determination. With a family they can have longevity and be a great Gospel witness among the people they are called to serve.

This far we have reviewed all six missional entities that missionaries must nurture relationships with in order to serve their mission well. They are…

1. Relationships with… a sending church
2. Relationships with… a mission agency
3. Relationships with… a receiving church
4. Relationships with… a missionary team
5. Relationships with… a “person of peace”
6. Relationships with… the family

A concluding, Part 4, will be written to tie everything together and include even some quotes from responses made. God bless.

Orthodoxy is Gk Chesterton’s account of his journey from secularism to Christianity. It reminds me of a doctoral student explaining his dissertation to someone who is not an expert. For brevity the student will skip vast amount of details to give the main overview. To the uninitiated or poorly informed this is always quite jarring. At the end you find yourself in agreement, but barely understand what happened. Most of the arguments in Orthodoxy are the same way. He speeds though arguments, making tangents that don’t make any sense until his vision is complete. Anything even remotely in his style would be met with only the most puzzled of looks and side comments about how it wasn’t about Jesus. The whole effect is dizzying.

Chesterton’s view of the world, his vision that seems ancient in scope, transmodern in approach shines through the pages like sun into a dark room. Too much of modern Christianity today is compartmentalized into trite slogans that at best offer nothing and at worst demeans Christ. Rationalism and science seem to point away from Christianity, but we find Chesterton taking the view that rationalism and science have inaccurately become unquestionable, yet have extended beyond what they can accomplish. They are false idols and page after page he makes the point that if rationalism is what you want; suicide is what you will have. This was in stark contrast to what I had been taught. Romanticism taught me there was more, but not where it might be found. The church told me that it was best not think about such things and just have more faith. Chesterton taught me to think about such things and see that they are not what they seem to be.

Chesterton taught me that following Jesus is more than acting a certain way; it’s more than believing certain things; it is even more than loving certain things. Christianity is about seeing things a certain way. It is about seeing the world the way God sees the world, not as something to be marched against but as something to be a steward of. Perhaps God wants us to delight in Him, as he delights in his creation. God used Chesterton in a way that made me realize the Joy of God. He taught me that we must love the world without being worldly. “The point is not that this world is too sad to love or too glad not to love; the point is that when you do love a thing, its gladness is a reason for loving it, and its sadness a reason for loving it more…Man is more himself, more manlike, when joy is the fundamental thing and grief superficial.” Perhaps that’s why I can’t take these UBF people seriously when they reduce the gospel into a straight command to make disciples. I have learned too much, seen too much to be tricked by such an illusion. For one who has found a well spring of water can stop trying to squeeze moisture from his sweaty clothes. Chesterton never did a one of one bible study with me, but he has taught me more about God than anyone ever has. He has shown me Christ more clearly than any one to one bible study ever could.

“No one doubts that an ordinary man can get on with this world: but we demand not strength enough to get on with it, but strength enough to get it on. Can he hate it enough to change it, and yet love it enough to think it worth changing? Can he look up at its colossal good without once feeling acquiescence? Can he look up at its colossal evil without once feeling despair? Can he, in short, be at once not only a pessimist and an optimist, but a fanatical pessimist and a fanatical optimist? Is he enough of a pagan to die for the world, and enough of a Christian to die to it? In this combination, I maintain, it is the rational optimist who fails, the irrational optimist who succeeds. He is ready to smash the whole universe for the sake of itself.”

Here is the book for free online
http://www.gutenberg.org/files/16769/16769-h/16769-h.htm

Forestsfailyou

Historically, Egypt has been the enslavers of God’s people and their most memorable adversary. But one day they will be converted, transformed, saved and become the people of God together with Israel. They will display evidences of true believers, such as:

• the fear of God (Isa 19:16-17),
• pledging allegiance to God (Isa 19:18),
• relating all of life to God (Isa 19:19-22),
• being united with those who are unlike them (Isa 19:23), and
• regarding all others as equals (Isa 19:24-25).

Fear God (Isa 19:16-17). The fear of God is the beginning of knowledge (Prov 1:7). The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom (Prov 9:10). People might generally prefer the love of God to the fear of God. I probably do as well. But I contend that to fear God is not to live in fear as commonly understood, but to live in awe and respect for what the Almighty will do (Isa 19:16-17). Also, I’ve found that when I fear God, I do not fear anyone else (Prov 29:25). Not fearing people does not mean that I become belligerent or disrespectful. It simply means that I acknowledge that my life is entirely in God’s hands, and in not the hands of other people. During Isaiah’s time, everyone lived and behaved as though the world was in the hands of Assyria, the superpower nation of the day (Isa 10:12-14). It is also why an important major theme of Isaiah is to not to trust mere humans (your leaders and shepherds!), but to calmly and confidently trust God alone (Isa 7:4a, 9b). Jesus practiced what Isaiah taught (Jn 2:24-25).

Pledge allegiance to the God of Israel and learn their language (Isa 19:18). To put this in contemporary context, it is like Americans submitting to Koreans and speaking “Konglish,” or Koreans submitting to Filipinos and speaking Tagalog instead of Korean. Some might prefer death to such subjugation and humiliation. But in that day the Egyptians swear allegiance to the God of Israel and learn their language (Isa 19:18).

Relate all of life to God (Isa 19:19-22). They build an altar (Isa 19:19), which signifies reconciliation with God. They cry out to God for help (Isa 19:20b), instead of seeking human and political solutions. They know God as God reveals himself (Isa 19:21a). They understand that to know God is to respond to God’s revelation of himself, and not just them seeking to know God by their own efforts or good intentions. They make sacrifices and vows in response to God’s revelation (Isa 19:21b). They walk the walk. They turn to God and experience healing in times of divine discipline (Isa 19:22), rather than becoming bitter. A true believer relates every aspect of their life–both good times and hard times–to God.

Unite with those unlike themselves (Isa 19:23). Egypt and Assyria were enemies. But in that day, they will worship together. There will be a highway connecting these unlikely bedfellows. The highway–a favorite metaphor in Isaiah–connotes the removal of alienation and separation. We human beings understandably prefer like-minded people. We prefer our own ethnicities and culture, which explains why there are ethnic communities in virtually every city. Even churches tend to be sharply segregated along racial, ethnic and denominational lines. But true believers welcome and unite with those they might not generally welcome or prefer. For virtually all of my 35 years of Christian life since 1980, I have done ministry virtually primarily and exclusively with UBF people, such that I do not really know how to relate well to or interact with non-UBF Christians. I hope to learn the spirit of inclusivity and ecuminism, which John Armstrong introduced to me over the past decade. Reading books by contemplatives such as Richard Rohr has been quite helpful to help me overcome my unique sense of exclusivity. UBFriends, comprising of many ex-UBFers, is also a great place of interaction and unity for me, since in the past I would never have maintained any relationship or interaction with anyone who has left UBF.

Regard all others as equals (Isa 19:24-25). Egypt, Assyria and Israel lived in enmity and animosity for hundreds of years. But in that day they will first acknowledge and submit to the God of Israel (Isa 19:16-17), even humbly learning their language which was foreign to them (Isa 19:18). But they do not remain in a subordinate position indefinitely. Rather, God declares that they are all equally God’s people, God’s handiwork and God’s inheritance (Isa 19:25). This is how God’s people from different ethnicities and cultures become a blessing on the earth (Isa 19:24). This exposes the repeated failure of missionaries over the centuries to this day. Unlike Paul who turned the ministry over to his indigenous converts within a few years during his four missionary journeys (Ac 14:23), Christian missionaries have generally acted as the leaders who continued to lord over their converted indigenous peoples for years and decades. This is well explained in Roland Allen’s classic book, Missionary Methods. I wrote about this in 2012: Let Local Leaders Lead. I sense that many are coming to a gradual realization that each country’s indigenous UBF leader should be leading the ministry, and not the original missionary pioneer nor a foreign overseas director.

I don’t preach what I write because I preach extemporaneously. This write up is part of my preparation and reflection which I may or may not share on Sunday. Please feel free to critique it both as a sermon, as well as for content and substance.

Dear spiritual children,

It seems as though the words in my last testimony made you react with so many strong outlashings and bitternesses. I planned to comment and share my spiritual wisdom with you, but this reaction greatly frightened me and thus prevented me from doing so. To be honest, I felt like the Saint Paul when he was lashed forty times plus one from the Jews. But you know, Saint Paul was tended to by Luke the physician, whose gospel we happen to be studying. In the same way, as I read and meditate on his gospel, it is like he is tending to my spiritual wounds as well. I was like Daniel in the lions’ den and God protected me by eventually shutting your mouths after you got all of your garbages out through commenting.

So, when the storm had finally passed and all was quiet, I could gain more insights into why we had a severe clashing. Like Isaiah says, we are all like sheep who have gone astray. And of course, some sheep stray more than others. As the common American expression goes, “we are like two sheeps passing in the night”. Indeed, it is hard for spiritual giants to relate to others some times. So, I think that we may need the great shepherd, Missionary Shepherd Samuel Lee PhD, to give us guidance in this matter. He wrote an introduction to Luke’s gospel, and this will be the content of our lesson today. Gather around children and let us drink in this spiritual wisdom together.

Our great shepherd begins,

“It is impossible to write an introduction to the gospel according to St. Luke, because there is a danger that the introduction will be longer than the text. So it is summarized with a brief preface.”

Again, there is a danger. Whether it is good or bad, I will let you be the judge this time. I remember as a young boy, I would roam the Korean country side, looking at all of the beautiful mountains, the flowers and the vast East Korean Sea. I could write about everything, or so I thought. But the danger was that all of the paper and ink in the world may have been exhausted by writing about such majesty and beauty. Then no school children would be able to finish their studies. And tragically, the modern society would become uneducated and eventually collapse and fall apart. This is what it is like to attempt to comment on something that only a spiritual giant would dare to do. Who can capture these kinds of majesties with only a pen and paper and at the same time avoid destroying oneself and the society? Only Samuel Lee can record the deep things of mysterious grandeur and summarize them for us. Then he will feed us like baby sheep suckling from the mother lamb. So let us begin.

First, Luke, the Author

SL states about Luke,

“Luke is known as a Gentile and a historian because of his universal point of view. But when we study the Bible broadly, we don’t find any hint that Luke was a Gentile. Still, people call him a Gentile. Maybe it is because his gospel is universal: He included Gentile people for their salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord as much as Jewish people.”

Have you ever thought of why we refer to Luke as a Gentile? I never gave it much thought, but only accepted it at face value. But SL is right to point out that the Bible never says with certainty that he is either a Jew or a Gentile. Luke’s gospel is universal, showing that God even loved the untouchable Gentiles. When I became a Christian, in my college days in Korea, I had the vision to go to America. When I arrived here, I encountered many students who seemed so outwardly noble, like Jews. But inwardly, they were very much like Gentiles in terms of inner desires. But I realized that God so loved these Gentile-like Americans and so I could be a light to them, teaching them the Bible with all of my heart. I could begin to relate to them by watching many American movies on my VHS system, such as Ghostbusters, Good Fellas, Planes, Trains and Automobiles and National Lampoons. Various movies gave me insight into the minds of my sheep. Mainly, I learned that Americans are preoccupied with the occult, gangster activity and navigating the difficulties of vacationing. SL continues,

“Humanly speaking, for Luke to remain as a medical doctor was very reasonable. But since he was converted to Christianity, his priority was changed to Jesus first, and to the proclamation of the gospel of Jesus to the whole world.”

Luke probably could have made a lot of money during his lifetime as a medical doctor. He also enjoyed the prestige and recognition that came with such a position. But in private, he must have been very sorrowful because he had no purpose of life. He began to make many misdiagnoses because of his meaninglessness. Then, when he met Jesus, he became so happy because he found the forgiveness of sins and meaning of life through him. He left his medical practice and began to follow the number two of Christianity, Saint Paul, serving as his personal physician. From Luke’s life direction, I could gain wisdom about how to teach my Bible students to value following Jesus more than the worldly success. Many students want to spend much time studying, getting into the best universities so that they can secure a good future for themselves. But I explain to them that eventually, they will find that the world is meaningless and that they will not be happy no matter how much they study. I instead encourage them to put the Bible study first, even if it means they will lose school study time. In this way, they can grow to be truly spiritual disciples of Jesus. By the way, I am so proud of my children who all got into the Ivy League universities and have become doctors and got good jobs. They don’t teach the Bible or go fishing, but instead Jesus has a special plan for them to be exceptional disciples who can contribute to the society for his glory. But among my bible students, it is crystal clear that God called them to be bible teachers first and foremost. Why else would God call them to UBF if this was not his intention for them? They should strive to be like Luke, who gave up his worldly ambition to serve God’s servants. Amen.

Second, Luke Gives a Special Position to Women

“In Palestine, the place of women was not regarded. For example, when Jesus was carrying out the Messianic ministry around the Galilean district, many people, around 5,000 men, gathered (Lk 9:14). They did not include women and children in the count, because at that time women’s human dignity and equality were not appreciated. Children were also not numbered because the bigoted Jewish people were all money lovers. So children who had no labor power or could not earn money were unimportant.”

Luke was so keen to notice how Jesus included women into God’s world salvation plan. I was surprised to learn from SL that the Jews were bigoted money lovers. I suppose this makes sense and is factually correct seeing as how they did not care for those who couldn’t earn money, like children. However, this is a natural tendency for all of mankind. Sometimes, I would look at my small children and only see them as mouths to feed or nuisances who interrupted my Bible studies with college students. But SL newly opened my eyes that from the Bible’s point of view perhaps we should give them equal status with everyone else. Maybe, maybe not, only God knows in the end. SL continues,

“In Luke chapters 1-2, there appear Elizabeth and Anna. Humanly speaking, they were useless. They were no more than senior citizens who deserved food stamps. But Luke saw with spiritual eyes and recognized them as the lamp of God. They were old and useless. But in the sight of God they were praying women.”

Through SL, a repeated lesson that I have learned from him is that people are either useless or useful. It is very simple, if God does not call you into his service, then you are like chaff that the wind will blow away. You are like a hammer with no handle or a toilet that won’t flush. But when God calls you, even though you have many weaknesses, you can be a useful tool to him, like a pot used for a noble purpose.

SL gives many beautiful examples of useful women, such as those who financed Jesus’ ministry, the merchant, Lydia, Mary the mother of Jesus and others. We can put Mother Barry on equal footing with these spiritual pioneering women. She was once a southern belle in Mississippi who enjoyed her large book collection and even her own horse. But when she went to South Korea, she met Chang Woo Lee, and then suddenly the scales fell from her eyes to co-create UBF ministry and care for college students who suffered from deep meaninglessness. In this way, she could inspire many more strong women, such as my precious co-worker shepherdess Sincere, to be a good influence in the ministry and become world changers. Amen!

Third, the Outstanding Universality of Luke’s Gospel

SL relates a breath-taking story,

“Once an English novelist was convinced that he could write a better parable than Luke’s gospel chapter 15. So the English government gave him five years of time and he tried to write a better parable of the prodigal son. The government was supposed to reward him with one million pounds. When the day came to hand in his parable, he pleaded with the government officials to give him three years more to write the parable, and after three years, another two years. Finally he surrendered himself to Luke’s gospel chapter 15.”

SL didn’t list any sources for this story and I’ve never heard it before now, but anyway it probably happened. It is totally believable because the Bible is God’s own literature which surpasses anything that could ever be written in the history of mankind. The word of God has power to change people. The Bibles in our hands are powerful tools to drive away the dark forces of Satan and bring people to God. SL relates one of these most life-changing stories to us,

“The parable of the good Samaritan is a very familiar story to our ears. The characters are an orthodox Jew, a religious Levite, and a vigorous merchant. They saw a man badly wounded by gangsters. But the orthodox Jew turned around and ran away with an excuse that he must keep his worship service time. The religious Levite knew he should take care of the wounded man. But in order not to miss singing in the vocal team, he ran away with full speed. But the Samaritan, a Gentile, ruined his business and gave all his money and saved this man’s life. This story is not at all dogmatic. But it reveals the universal love of God. Who could have been the most happy?”

May God’s servant not be angry with me, but I was severely confused by this commentary. On the one hand, I understand that the Gentile was happier than the money-loving Jews who would not spend a dime to help the injured man. But on the other hand, wouldn’t the Levite and priest be the most happy by loving God through attending the worship service and singing on the vocal team? I am getting mixed messages here. I need to meditate on this commentary more deeply.

SL explains probably one of the most important spiritual lessons through the story of the ten lepers,

“When they were healed, the nine Jewish lepers went to their mommies, or went around claiming that they healed their leprosy by their own effort. Jesus was very sorry that they did not come back to thank Jesus for the healing. Only one man came and thanked Jesus for his healing. He was a Samaritan, a Gentile. Jesus was very sorry that God’s chosen people all forgot God’s grace; they were saved from their leprosy, but they did not have a thankful mind. Jesus was very sorry, because they were supposed to be shepherds and Bible teachers and a blessing to the Gentile people. But they were really unthankful. Their root was totally corrupted because they did not thank God. Unthankfullness is the root of sin. Jesus was very sorry, because there were so many people who should study the Bible with his chosen people, but his people were worse than the lepers.”

Here I learned that the root of sin is unthankfulness. When Jesus heals us, if we do not become shepherds and bible teachers but only enjoy our healing, we are worse off than before we were saved. Some of my Bible students went to other churches after meeting Jesus through Bible study. They did not stay to become shepherds, something which has surely broken God’s heart. They have become like the useless Jews who were unthankful. Nevertheless, God will raise up other students in their places who will show their gratitude by becoming shepherds and Bible teachers. Amen!

Fourth, the Kingdom of God

On the kingdom of God in Luke’s gospel, SL states,

“But Luke’s gospel’s teaching of the kingdom of God is far superior to Matthew’s gospel in planting the kingdom of God in the hearts of vulgar people who are suffering under Satan’s rule.”

Indeed, those who do not know God are simply vile and vulgar people. In contrast, we who have the kingdom of God in our hearts are like those who have precious feet and faces like angels which shine light into the darkened hearts of men. When God rules over us, we are much better than those in the modern, secular society.

Fifth, Luke’s View of Discipleship Training

SL explains the mindset of the disciples when faced with Jesus’ main teaching,

“According to Luke’s account Jesus emphasized to his disciples that he should suffer and be handed over to the Gentiles and should die on the cross and rise again on the third day. Whenever Luke emphasized this, he related that Jesus’ suffering and death is to fulfill the will of God and the will of God is that he would become the Lamb of God for the sin of the world. The disciples, who had been clumps of desires, were not willing to understand the way of the cross.”

I have found this lesson to be true as well. Before my Bible students meet Jesus, they are like useless clumps of sinful desires. They do not understand the way of self-denial and taking up the cross. In fact, before I knew Jesus, I was a useless and dishonest creature, a mere worm in fact. But when I began to deny myself and take up the crosses of world mission, bible study, shepherding and school studies I could find true happiness in Jesus. I went from a clump of dirt to a happy disciple of Jesus.

SL closes his preface to Luke’s gospel with the precious example of the risen Jesus, who taught the Bible as of first importance (Lk 24),

“May God raise us as Bible teachers like Jesus. May God open our spiritual eyes to see the Risen Jesus. May God help us study the Bible truth, and believe in our hearts, and see from God’s point of view with universal eyes so that we can really understand God is like the Father in the parable of the prodigal son in chapter 15. May God give us universal love, so that we can embrace all kinds of sheep without any prejudice like Luke, a servant of God.”

Bible study and teaching are central parts of our spiritual lives that we cannot neglect. It is the only way in which people can have their eyes opened to know God and inherit eternal life. If we do not teach the Bible, then many students will tragically perish in their sins. We must see them as the prodigal son from Luke 15 who despaired after visiting prostitutes and eating with pigs. We must be good older brothers who will teach them the truth from the Bible and guide them to carry many crosses. When they are truly thankful for their salvation, then it will show in how much they teach the Bible and shepherd others. Instead of enjoying the worldly pleasures, they will become spiritual world changers and gospel workers.

Thank God for this Luke’s gospel study! I hope that SL’s condensed summary has shown like beautiful sunlight into your hearts. I long to bring you under my spiritual wing so that we can continue to enjoy these precious meditations together! From this point forward, in this Ubfriends community, let’s start a new history together. Amen!

What Guy taught us is that we should not be afraid of seeing our work be used in ways we never intended. He said you should be so lucky if someone buys your product and uses it for all the unintended reasons. His example is of course the Mac. He and Jobs and the Mac team intended the Mac to be a spreadsheet processor. But nobody used it for that. Instead, they used it for desktop publishing and artwork. He mentioned that a business might be tempted to get upset because they lost control over their product. Instead, Guy urges us to accept such things and embrace the success. Like Jobs, Guy says “Go dent the universe!” He teaches us to let the flowers blossom where they blossom, and let your creations grow and take on their own life. In the Christian sense, the message is this: You are not in control of your ministry, the Holy Spirit is.

How the purpose of ubfriends changed

Guy’s advice helps me embrace what ubfriends has become, instead of trying to control it. When I helped start ubfriends with Joe and a couple others, we were both pro-UBF and had a very specific idea about what we wanted to accomplish. We thought UBF could be reformed. For example consider this quote from our About page:

This website is not intended to promote or denigrate UBF or any organization. Our purpose is to serve people by giving them an independent forum to learn, to think, and to express themselves in a healthy and friendly manner. We hope that this website will foster multi-way conversations among friends, open new channels of communication and friendships among people of different ages and backgrounds, overcoming prejudice and stereotypes, help members of UBF develop stronger connections to the broader Christian community, and help us to see multiple sides of difficult issues and truly learn from one another, even when we do not agree.

We had hoped to discuss Christian theology and bring real change and reform to the UBF group.

That all changed because what has been revealed is that the foundations of the group are in shambles. Like an old house that cannot be repaired and must be torn down, we uncovered the failed theology called UBFism that cannot be repaired. UBFism is hindering all of us from seeing the all-surpassing gospel Jesus preached.

Over time, many different kinds of flowers blossomed here on this website.

Why must UBF be redeemed and not reformed?

Many hundreds of people over many decades from many cultures, including Korea, have attempted to reform UBF. It has not worked. The business model is fundamentally flawed, as Joe pointed out recently. Furthermore, UBFism is a theology that needs to be deconstructed and exposed as harmful.

This week I have extra time to ponder all these things. It has been an eye-opening week too, as I have had more people reach out to me and share confirmations of abuses. Some UBF leaders should be in jail for not reporting such abuse. This denial of abuse is the main reason I say UBF cannot just be changed or reformed, but must be stopped so that redemption can begin.

Here are the topics numerous people were talking about on social media this week:

– An older Korean missionary has routinely slept with his daughter.
– An American shepherd regularly molested children at CBF.
– A student regularly molested children and then was appointed to lead children’s singing.
– An American shepherd was made to live in a one room apartment with only a small window in order to kill off his worldly desires.
– An American shepherd was sick and kept at home with an IV instead of going to the emergency room.
– A Korean missionary died at a UBF center and they prayed instead of calling 911.
– Some 2nd gens are locked in their rooms after they partied too much and got drunk.

When will it stop? Will you speak up? 

Here are some examples of what I am trying to say, from our previous articles. In order to see many flowers grow and blossom, UBFism must be stopped and deconstructed:

Here is my bluntly worded article:
http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/05/08/it-must-come-to-an-end/

Here is Joe’s nicely worded article with John Amstrong’s input:
http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/05/09/john-armstrong-on-knowing-when-to-stop/

Here is Ben’s good article, in Ben Toh’s ubf-friendly style:
http://www.ubfriends.org/2013/11/09/why-churches-stop-growing/

So people can pick which “tone” they like, but in regard to this topic Ben, Joe and I are on the same page, even though we arrive from different viewpoints.

Introduction:

After a gradual, but long time struggle with leaving UBF I wanted to review an aspect not directly addressed by many people. As a single person the struggle really comes down to staying or leaving. There is nothing more and nothing less. However, a married couple faces different and possibly new obstacles. In fact, a growing family faces the largest issues imaginable combined with the sheer longevity of commitment and service to UBF ministry. Our stories are unique, yet at the same time complimentary by experience in UBF chapters around the world. I invite people to share this aspect of their struggle to leave UBF. There are many accounts found here and there on a wide variety of existing articles and topics, but the agreement to leave between a husband and wife has not really been opened up. It would be nice to hear from more women who visit and read UBFriends. The dominant voice has always been male even though there have become some regular female participants.

Broken Mission?

Where do we hear that our mission is broken? We hear this maybe in our own conscience, but most definitely in our UBF chapter and possibly even at larger UBF gatherings whereupon people have been gossiping. Our conscience might compel us to remain in UBF at all costs because it has become the only expression of our faith and our only understanding on how to receive Jesus’ words, command, purpose and most of all His grace in our lives. UBF teaches well that Jesus’ intent is not only about our salvation, but also narrows down our calling of service to define true Christians as those who go to campus preaching and teaching the Bible. UBF also instills that we should all be little compassionate Jesus’ and feed sheep. This serves to perpetuate the UBF corporate model more than it does the body of Christ, because it is not enough to share the gospel and bring more people to Jesus. It is more important that a shepherd begets a shepherd and so on. I have found that recent revision in UBF has attempted to acknowledge other gifts and talents from God, but the future of UBF as a church really rests in its legacy of campus evangelism.

Now, is participating in church activities a sin? Absolutely not. Naturally, any person who has received grace and has faith in Jesus wants to serve in some way and by any means. The trouble really stems from the list of requirements – UBF’s oral law. The heart is what matters in all circumstances and it is our heart that determines our end with Jesus as our sovereign. So, studying/teaching the Bible, having/being a shepherd, preparing testimony to share publicly, attending meetings, attending Sunday’s, and so on … becomes the model for worship and obedience. All of this just because you honoured a call to study the Bible in UBF. Failure to carry out the growing demands results in a judgment of one’s faith and most certainly some form of discipline. Knowing Jesus is a deeply personal and profound relationship, while knowing UBF is no different than knowing the impersonal corporate world. Simply, obeying UBF becomes more important than obeying Jesus. Is our mission to know and follow Jesus or to know and follow the UBF system?

Broken Promise?

Am I breaking a promise to commit to Jesus if I leave UBF? Personally, I don’t feel that I’m part of the group. I have never caught by this aspect of UBF emotional blackmail. If I commit to Jesus, then Jesus is whom I am bonded to. I have never seen myself in any other light despite the hostility and urgency to demonstrate human loyalties to those who sacrificed for you. I have seen many attempts to scare people about their promises before God. I suppose the conviction and guilt goes even deeper if you have left your country to become a “missionary”. It is difficult to simply accept someone who has left UBF. For a UBF member it feels like betrayal, that a promise has been broken with Jesus. In UBF it is a hard process and struggle. Those who leave UBF have more often been either referred to as unbelievers or great because they studied with UBF. Those who leave UBF are making decisions according to what they know as being right before God. How many times have you cringed when you learn something that is new to you within the UBF fantasy world?

Broken Community?

When someone leaves is the community really broken? When a young Bible student leaves it grieves the one who spent time with them. When a long standing member leaves it grieves everyone, but that grief is expressed with silence. How many examples are there of people who leave and never hear a word from UBF again? The fact is that UBF moves on and plods along its way with or without you. The system has been built to seek out new faces every season with an expectation that only a small number of people will stay – some of whom never become Bible teachers, but remain stuck as sheep. The system is built to block anyone suspect of glorifying themselves and not UBF – God. It also replaces any leader who leaves with ease and control. UBF is not a community of friendship and love, but rather one of numbers. It’s first a hierarchy in the years someone has been there. After that importance goes according to the success of disciples raised by each person. The community of fellowship looks more and more like some marketing department looking for someone to open and close a deal – The kingdom is contaminated with sharks!

Singleness

The life of a (single) student has less complexity in the decision to leave UBF. Now, single does not mean you are without a boyfriend/girlfriend or even spouse. By singleness I am referring to one person who has agreed to study the Bible in UBF. Leaving has no consequence to your social life outside the sphere of UBF and as long as you have not lost your identity there is hope to readjust as you walk with Jesus. Only now do I appreciate the easy circumstances of a single person in UBF. I did not have to worry about my wife or children. I only had to focus on recreating myself. I had enormous concerns about my life if I left. But, mostly these were about my identity and social life. UBF successfully desecrates a person’s social life and habits – routine. After becoming loyal to UBF I exchanged my common habits with UBF activities. This limited social relationships outside of UBF and even my interests, personality and character were sacrificed for my new holy identity as a growing disciple in UBF. When I did challenge and fight I was the only one to get hurt. Disagreements, misunderstandings and so on all had no consequences for others in my life. If I confronted anything I was the only one to receive hardships. The community of UBF could disgrace and shame me and me alone – I never had to worry about my actions having dire consequences for others close to me.

Married (With Children)

After marriage I realized on so many levels how much more difficult the decision to leave UBF was becoming. First of all, there is an understanding during the wedding preparations and ceremony whereupon an oath has been made to serve campus students with this new house church. Both man and woman are prepped to be the model Bible teaching house church. So, here begins the complexity of leaving.

What happens when one partner in the couple begins to object to UBF activities?

I have always been on the brink of leaving and somehow I managed to be married in UBF. I can honestly share with you that I really wanted to hold on as the Bible study had benefitted me, despite the pain that being in UBF had caused me. I had a small hope that maybe I could do things differently. However, I could no longer condone what I had been reading, hearing and in some ways continue to experience as I engage in UBF. Okay, so I feel badly about UBF … what’s next? Now I must sit down and talk with my wife about it. I must coolly and rationally explain myself. I believe my wife will support me on this – but actually I am not sure. (Marriage in UBF is for mission and UBF goals. How common in UBF is it to marry because two people love each other outside the context of mission?)

I do thank God that my family has entered a chapter of UBF that is more flexible, however, it does not cut us off from the umbrella of UBF ministry national and international. My wife has not had such negative experiences as I have and therefore has loyalist tendencies. However, I thank God that she also supports my decisions. To be clear, we are in some way divided, but supportive of each other and highly communicative in our marriage. One difference in our personalities is that I am frequently aware of certain injustices and she is insensitive to them – She is very care free and easy going.

When I arrived in UBF I observed an example like this where the husband remained part of the UBF leadership, but his wife had since left for a local church. It did not take long for the husband to unite with his wife at that church. So, in my example, I have had the conversation with my wife about our flexible chapter and if we had not been so lucky. She knows I would otherwise leave UBF. My decision has become local only – national or international matters do not interest me.

So, what would happen if my wife and I were in opposition? I want to leave, but she wants to stay. I hate UBF and she loves UBF. Clearly we would not be able to reach any reasonable solution. Big dilemma….there are children involved. But really … Who out there had to convince their spouse about leaving? Who was the first one to want to escape? How was the news and announcement received? How long did the process take?

What happens when UBF social culture invades the family unit?

UBF social culture is invasive and likes to compare its logic with the book of Acts. The perceived example of the early churches justifies UBF behaviours. The UBF community can be suffocating for a brother or sister, but knows no bounds after marriage. A married couple becomes an object to be used since the married couple made a vow to serve in UBF for campus ministry. In principle common serving does not look objectionable at first. But, it is the nature of relationships and influence of elders that can make problems in the family unit arise. With children the home invasion brings more privacy concerns and problems. Of course, this may be worse as your children get older.

I am presently just scratching at the surface, because I want to hear people contribute. I want to see new voices. I also want to raise the controversy of weak marriages in UBF. If one spouse is in and the other out of UBF what holds the marriage together? In my case, my wife and I communicate often and she knows exactly my intentions and feelings. Now, you may ask about her prayer for me, but I have already told her not to pray for my renewal in UBF. I am getting older and I am tired of such nonsense. It’s a waste of time. I just want Jesus and not stupid politics of the who’s who at UBF events. As my children get older I also want to spare them the stress of UBF land – Oh! They are so cute until they can form opinions and then they must know their place in UBF social order.

One spouse calling it quits does have the power to break a marriage in UBF. This is very clear because people are committing to the UBF system and not necessarily the person they marry. I have nothing wrong with jumping into a marriage with someone I hardly know. (I did that already!) I do have a problem with being caught up in the dream or fantasy of UBF. Time and experience changes a person. UBF has problems.

Closing:

In this article I am trying to make sense of breaking the relationship with UBF. I question a person’s broken mission, promise and sense of community, because these are integral matters addressed when someone makes the decision to leave. I also think about the contrast of a single voluntary decision to engage in UBF activities against that of an experienced married couple with/without children.

How about you? What else can you add to brokenness? What can you share as a single or married person who struggled to leave UBF? What conflicts did you face? Alone or with your spouse?

I want to share my testimony from this week’s message because I feel that sometimes the positive things about UBF are not heard on this site. I hope that you will appreciate my humble offering before the Lord. God bless.

In this week’s message, Pastor Ron Ward gives us great insight into how we can prepare the way for the Lord. These are dangerous times and we need an equally dangerous message. I mean dangerous in two senses here: the first is real danger, like living in an immoral and spiritually corrupted time where Christians can become infected by the culture. The second danger is a good one, at least for spiritual people, meaning that God’s word is dangerous to the forces of Satan because it has the power to set people free from his captivity. So in that sense, the words of God from his servant can match the dangerousness of the time that we live in. Also, there is another danger to Christians when they hold onto God’s words. Recently, a Kentucky clerk who was to issue marriage licenses refused to give them to homosexuals on the basis of God’s holy law. She was put in jail, thus signaling the unjust persecution of Christians. She had her own marriage problems being divorced many times, however God forgave all of her sins through Jesus’ precious blood and then called her to serve at the dangerous front lines to pull this country out of depravity. May God be with her and keep her strong.

P.Ron Ward comments about how Dr. Samuel Lee taught for many years that we must have a sense of history. This is why we study the historian Luke’s gospel so many times. We can see the change in culture when we forget the strong Christian heritage of America as PRW noted,

We are living in times of surprising change. Within this year, the 1972 Olympic decathlon champion announced that he is no longer a man, but a woman. This announcement was received with praise by prominent sports networks and media sources. This is compounded by the fact that he, or she, claims to be a Christian. Has our society gone completely crazy? This phenomenon is possible where there is no sense of history. Any student of history knows that great empires disappear when they weaken from within due to easygoing mentality and moral corruption. Seeing this trend in America, Muslim radicals have gained confidence the push their agenda in recent years. Having a sense of history is vital to sustaining a healthy nation. It is even more important to be a healthy Christian.

This is alarming indeed. If Caitlyn Jenner lived in Jesus’ times, he would probably say something like, “You call yourself a lover of God? You cannot be an ‘it’ and claim to love God. Repent and be a man as God made you!” Also, I recently read an article on radical Muslims explaining that they have come to power mainly due to hard economic times which were induced by bad foreign policies imposed by western nations. Powerful nations exploited them for resources so many times until they gave them no choice but to lash out in an outrageous way. For instance, the United States some time ago put an extremist leader into power in Saudi Arabia. Now the Saudis are oppressing smaller nations like Yemen and all the while the US is benefiting from Saudi oil. But from PRW, I learned that all of this is actually due to America’s easy going mentality and sexual immorality so that now Muslims have become proud. In reality, Muslims realize that they can entice thirsty western men by promising that they can marry up to five wives and receive 72 virgins if they blow themselves up. The article I read did not open my eyes to this, but planted a sense of victim’s mentality in the reader so that we would feel sorry for Muslims. Instead, we should resist the sexual immorality and build a strong military to fight against Satan’s forces all over the world! In this way, America can become healthy and great again, thus creating a new history.

PRW’s words are so comforting here,

We can find real hope in God to make a new history. It happens when we accept God’s word with repentance. No matter who we are, no matter how many mistakes we may have made, we can start a new history when we respond to God’s word with repentance. The same is true of our church. As we begin this new fall semester, let’s learn how we can start something new in our spiritual lives and in our community.

I was so encouraged, because in my ministry I have been hurt so much by sheep. So many ran away. I may have made some mistakes, but those were just the growing pains. No matter, I learned that we should put this history behind us and make a brand new history by newly listening to the words of God! As Paul said, “forgetting what is behind…” In this way, I can start a new ministry and look for the Abraham and Sarah of faith on my campus. Through Luke’s study I hope that I may repent and bear the fruit of new disciples. Amen!

Wow, there were so many spiritual foods just in the introduction alone! I asked myself why we were starting from chapter three instead of the first one; I was a bit confused. Then I realized that PRW is challenging us to not be easy-going. He wants us to be spiritual detectives and work hard, even backwards sometimes to figure out the truth. Also our young sheep can grow when they are challenged in this way. Praise and thank God for this training. Now let’s begin the passage.

First, The word of God came to John (1-2)

PRW explains the crazy times of Jesus’ day by pointing out the crazy and weird emperor Tiberius. So many people were crushed and hopeless under the Roman Empire. We can also see this going on in our day, as PRW notes,

Christians should not expect too much from our political and religious leaders. American evangelicals have been disappointed that engaging in political process has not been so effective in the last 30 years. But there is real hope. It is in God.

At first, I was a little confused at this statement because we are told that we should respect the authorities which are instituted by God (Ro 13:1, 2) and pray for our leaders that we may live in peace (1 Tim 1:2). Also, for many years we held up Billy Graham as a great world-changing evangelist and even prayed for PRW to be like him. I think we should hold these kinds of people in a special regard. But I newly learned that more than these, we should have hope in God, not merely in men. More specifically, it is God’s word that gives us power and faith to overcome the world. We should find a quiet time to listen to Jesus’s words. PRW gives us a good example,

In order to listen to God we may need to put away our smart phones, ipads and other media devices. Historically, the UBF ministry has been strong because dedicated people have listened to the word of God more than the noise of the world. Recently I worshiped in smaller UBF chapters in Chicago and Canada and had the chance to hear the messages of lay shepherds. It was obvious that they listened to God’s word, and his word was spoken powerfully through them. This is a precious spiritual inheritance. However, listening to others’ messages is not enough. We all need tie to meditate on, digest, and put God’s word into practice. Those who regularly struggle with God’s word maintain a healthy spiritual life. It requires time and energy. We have done this through testimony writing and sharing. Some people, however, have given up this struggle. This is one reason that problems arise in their lives and ministries.

Testimony writing may be the greatest invention of UBF and God’s great gift to the Christian body. Because of it, we have grown to be the navy seals of the Church. I confess that when I stopped writing testimony because of full time work and full time studies and full time ministry, I became lazy and eventually even demon-possessed. I fell into shameful temptations and could not do the work of God. But when I newly committed to struggle all of the demons and spiritual cobwebs and spiders were driven out. I have recently heard of some small chapters struggling spiritually and eventually going to local churches. I was so disappointed because it was obvious that they became full of complaining and laziness because they didn’t hold onto God’s words. May God help them to repent and write testimony once again. PRW notes the miraculous story of Brother Yun. He had no Bible in communist China. But that did not stop him from praying and eventually leading a spiritual revival in China. If this is the case, then we have no excuse. I pray that we may have Brother Yun’s fighting spirit and hold onto the words of God like he did so that we may see a new history of God in America. Amen.

Second, John preached a baptism of repentance (3-6)

PRW talks about how John the Baptist preached and baptized at the Jordan and proclaimed that all, even spiritual-looking people, should repent. He says,

Baptism indicated radical repentance. It meant to turn from self to God in terms of purpose, life direction, value system and desires. It was to renounce self-rule and accept God’s reign. The first step is simply to acknowledge that God’s word is right and “I am wrong” for violating it. It is to let go of excuses and justification and to admit my fault and guilt. It is recognizing that I should change, and not expecting God to change.

These words are so powerful. I did not fully understand the repentance until I listened to this. I used to think that repent meant to feel sorrow for my sins. But I newly learned that it means to admit that I am wrong, that I need to change and that God is right and unchanging. It makes sense because I had so many worldly thoughts before I became a Christian. I learned so many things through the spiritual wisdom of my spiritual fathers in UBF. I was challenged so many times to ignore my own thinking and listen to the words of God and his servants. It was very difficult at first because some directions seemed strange to me. In fact, I rebelled a little bit. But I realized that these were my demons speaking and that I had not truly repented. Now I am a spiritual man of God through many repentances.

PRW also speaks so honestly about one of his failures as a father and how he needed to practice true repentance to shepherd his son. He realized that his own sins damaged his relationship with his son. He felt the godly sorrow because of his sins and through God’s strength he could truly repent. May we all follow such a godly example and be good spiritual fathers and mothers for our sheep. Amen.

We are also encouraged to call sin as sin. We should not be afraid to tell our sheep the truth about their sin instead of being politically correct, as PRW says. I once had a bible student who liked to indulge in homosex. I told him, that is not right before God and explained from the Bible, starting with Genesis 17. He asked why I was so blunt and he was hurt because I did not want to go into a deep discussion about the matter. He eventually ran away. I realize that people want to talk and talk about so many nonsenses, but really it is their way of escaping the truth of reality. God will eventually burn up all sinners with wrath. So we cannot get caught up in useless talking and debates, but instead we must proclaim the word of God which even has the power to heal homosexuals. I remember when first coming to America I saw the gay pride parade. I was shocked and asked, how can anyone be proud of that? We surely have to rescue this nation from extreme immorality which invites God’s wrath.

We should do this proclaiming which leads to repentance to prepare all of our hearts for the coming of Jesus. What is this coming of Jesus like? PRW explains,

The word salvation appears six times in Luke’s gospel. It refers to the coming of Jesus and his work to save his people from their enemies, forgive their sins, and restore their relationship with God. He made a new world, a perfect paradise. Jesus did this through his suffering, death and resurrection. This amazing grace of salvation is good news. Those who prepare the way for the Lord through repentance will be abundantly blessed and comforted.

There is one sneaky and clever-sounding theologian named N.T. Wright. He preaches that we should be bringing heaven to earth, through our actions and prayer, even in our present day. This sounded so intoxicating to many people, and I shamefully admit even to me. But here I newly learned that instead we are waiting for Jesus to come and give us the new heaven and new earth and solve all of our sins problems once and for all. Our spiritual task is to sincerely repent with tears so that we can prepare his arrival. We should not get caught up in trying to change this world or make a home in it. We are merely pilgrims passing through. We should be like John the Baptist who lived in the wilderness and shunned the modern society, thus making a way for Jesus to come. God will burn this earth up along with all sinners, so we should look to Jesus to rescue us from this godless environment. The thing that will set us apart from corrupted sinners is our godly repentance. Amen.

Third, Produce fruit in keeping with repentance (7-14)

John allowed many people to come and repent, but he was not easy-going, as PRW explains,

Many people came to him. They heard God’s word through his message. They wanted to drink it in like thirsty deer lapping streams of water. But John did not praise them. Rather, he challenged them sternly by calling them a brood of vipers. Holy John sounds a little like General Patton.

Wow, John was such a powerful spiritual general. He knew that only lip service would not help the people become the true children of God. They had to truly believe and live a changed life. They had to experience ongoing change, in fact. This is what sanctification is.

PRW closes with some practical ways in which many people in John’s day repented. People worked hard, did not extort others and lived as honest people. PRW even gave an example of how he is helping his son to be a hard worker. Instead of taking it easy on his vacation, he worked so hard to teach his son the hardworking mentality. I remember him saying one time that he regularly worked 100 hours per week. He is so hard working to serve so many things, even his family. This surely is the power of God and the fruit of repentance working in him. Also, he is so brave to talk about his family problems through the message. One day, his son will look back and thank him for including him in this message, which is a precious part of the history of God for all to see.

Personally, I was cut to the heart through this message. I remember when I was in Korea, I went to drink soju at night many times throughout the week. I enjoyed the worldly pleasures and wanted to marry and live an easy-going life. But when I came to bible study, I was challenged to be honest with my shepherds confessing all of my sins. This was so hard because I was so used to deceiving people all of the time. I remember one time even stealing money from my college roommate so that I could pay for a fancy perm. But I repented very sincerely of all of this through Bible study with my shepherd. Then, I was given the direction to change my name to Honest. Honestly speaking, this was difficult and my parents thought that it was strange. But now I see the wisdom of God’s shepherds. I can be an honest and hardworking man through Jesus Christ. Now I am a source to help many American sheep to repent and make a new history with God. May God be with our ministry this fall and help us to raise up many new Abraham’s and Sarah’s of faith. Amen!

One Word: Do the hard work of repentance through God’s strength and prepare the way for Jesus

Over a year ago, I wrote a provocative article here on ubfriends, entitled Shepherd Brian is Dead. It is an unfortunate reality that in order to have any kind of conversation with UBF members, I need to use such rhetoric. Dropping the C-bomb (as Joe likes to call it) is the only way I have found that leads to some honest, real answers about the UBF ministry. In my article last year, I wrote this:

“Why do I claim University Bible Fellowship is a cult? The answer is because ubf shepherds and missionaries are identity snatchers. They spiritually abused me and thousands others by stealing our identity and persuading us to adopt their identity. That identity was called “Shepherd Brian”. But that is not who I am. That was never who I was. That is not my authentic self.”

That comment about identity snatching stuck with me. It has now lead to my new book.

Giving credit

I am eternally thankful for the input from numerous current and former UBF members, especially Ben, Joe, Zoe, Charles, David, Maria and Chris (well ok not eternally… just thankful!). They were a good sounding board and helped shape this book well beyond my original ideas. Without their input, this would have been a really dark, scary book! But because of their criticism and honest feedback, the book is much brighter and hopeful.

The stories in my book are not only about deconstructing UBFism, but also about redemption. The stories are another major step in my own journey of recovering my identity.

Feedback

Dr. Steve Hassan and Dr. Ronald Enroth both appreciated my book, but are busy until later this year. I hope to add their endorsements later on. Here is some of the feedback I did receive on this project so far:

“This book is part of a critical examination of University Bible Fellowship. It gives insight into the structures and methods of this controversial group that’s work is focused on students.”
—Dr. Reinhard Hempelmann, Director of the Protestant Centre of Religious and Ideological Issues, Berlin Germany

“I am really glad to know of your book project! It is greatly needed. I don’t know of any books that cover University Bible Fellowship in depth.”
–Larry Pile, Counselor at Wellspring Retreat and Counseling Center, Athens Ohio, USA

“How can we support you? I want this book to be written.”
–Former member

“Amen. This book is needed. I pray God uses it to bring liberation to those still trapped in UBF and healing to families and the body of Christ.”
–Former member

“I think the book is so important to show that processing UBF is not about criticizing them mainly but about becoming happy, healthy, and whole again.”
–Former member

“Wow, awesome so far! I am going to share this book with everyone.”
–Former member

Links to my new book

As always, my books are free on Kindle with Amazon Prime and have the Amazon lending feature enabled, as well as the Amazon MatchBook enabled. I also tend to give free paperback copies to anyone willing to help promote the book via blog reviews. Content on the free online companion will be added in the coming months.

Identity Snatchers – Paperback Edition

Identity Snatchers – Kindle Edition

Free online companion – restunleashed.org

We Christians are firmly convinced that we should choose between:

• God and sin,
• God and money,
• right and wrong,
• good and bad,
• heaven and hell,
• monogamy and polygamy…and rightly so.

Two categories. This can be regarded as dualistic thinking. It is to see everything in two categories and two categories only. It promotes elitism, exclusivity and exclusionary thinking, which invariably denigrates, disparages and denounces those who are not on “your side.”

Life is scripted!

We all know how much time is spent week after week writing testimonies, rebuking sheep and answering those question sheets.

Save tons of time!

Are you looking to save loads of time each week? Well look no further. The ubferator will save shepherds so much time!

Need a testimony in a jiffy?

Just enter a few keywords and presto! You have a life testimony!

Need a rebuke?

Try out the one and only rebukerator!

No time to answer that question sheet?

No problem! Just enter your passage and wa-la!

Disclaimer:
The ubfeator links above may earn you severe dead dog training. Use at your own risk. The ubferator has also been known to cause intense abdominal pain from laughing too hard. Please use with caution. If you experience laughter lasting more than four hours, please call your doctor.

First, to celebrate the new semester, all three of my books that detail my journey of recovery from UBFism are FREE on Kindle this week, from 9/1 to 9/5.

Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives – FREE
Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives – FREE
Unexpected Christianity: The Penguin Narratives – FREE

Second, my new book, Identity Snatchers, is being published this weekend! I want to express my gratitude for numerous former and current members who helped shape this book. The book is my attempt to deconstruct UBFism and to redeem my personal identity.

Third, here is an incredibly accurate song that I like to listen to when school starts. This song says what I want to say to all ubf shepherds as the new semester begins:

You sound so innocent
All full of good intent
You swear you know best

But you expect me to
Jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost
With no direction oh
But you’ll never see

You’re so busy makin’ maps
With my name on them in all caps
You’ve got the talkin’ down
Just not the listening

All my life
I’ve tried
To make everybody happy while I
Just hurt
And hide
Waitin’ for someone to tell me it’s my turn
To decide.

Who made you king of anything?

Top 10 Things to Say to your Shepherd

In my experience and observation, these are the statements that will tell you right away if you are dealing with Christian pastors. I have said most of these things (so be careful about where this will take you). There really are some traits ubf leaders do not like.

As I continue refining the final draft of my latest book, I claim that ubf is a Korean Bible cult and has much confusion about their organizational identity. Of course not all ubf chapters are cultic. But my list of redeemed chapters is very short. In fact only Westloop Church is on the list because there is no Penn State ubf that I know of and I have not personally confirmed Waterloo ubf as being redeemed.

So then, drum roll please…here are some statements to share repeatedly to find out if you are in a Christian ministry or you are getting junk food from the pulpit on the altar (well at ubf the pulpit is called the lectern and the altar is called the stage).

10. The Holy Spirit is my shepherd, my teacher and my counselor.

9. What is the gospel?

8. The best example of Jesus’ mission statement is in Luke 4 and John 17.

7. Pope Francis is a Christian.

6. The Holy Spirit prompted me to stop fishing *

5. I’m going to spend this Sunday with my parents.

4. I learned so much from Ben Toh and Joe Schafer’s articles on ubfriends.

3. I found my soulmate and we plan to get married in two years.

2. I’m taking a good job in another city doing what I love to do.

…and the number 1 thing to say to your shepherd:

1. I just read all of BrianK’s books.

[the drawing in this article is by my mother: www.yenserart.com]

* Number 6 would probably cause a Christian pastor to be confused. The word fishing is loaded language that only ubf insiders understand.

The Imitation Game

A Royal Pardon in 2013 for Turing

Alan Turing holds a special place in my life, since I am a computer engineer. My entire livelihood is due in large part to Turing’s mathematical genius. Today I learned more of his story and read about an amazing act of mercy that occurred in 2013.

Alan Turing was convicted of homosexuality in 1952 in Great Britain. Yes that’s right. To be gay in England just 50+ years ago was a crime. The punishment was 2 years in prison or castration by chemicals. Turing chose the chemicals. He committed suicide not long after (His cause of death is still up for debate however).

“Society didn’t understand Alan Turing or his ideas on many levels but that was a reflection on us, not on him – and it has taken us 60 years to catch up.”

Human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell said: “I pay tribute to the government for ensuring Alan Turing has a royal pardon at last but I do think it’s very wrong that other men convicted of exactly the same offence are not even being given an apology, let alone a royal pardon.
“We’re talking about at least 50,000 other men who were convicted of the same offence, of so-called gross indecency, which is simply a sexual act between men with consent.”

http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-25495315

[Admin note: We received the following article here at ubfriends and were asked to share it. This speaks to the culture of burden that UBF shepherds and missionaries cultivate. The burden typically goes up on pregnant mothers. Please read, reflect and react.]

“Answer to Brian’s post June 3, 2015”

Hello, Everybody, My name is Sigrid Goff. I used to belong to Cologne UBF in Germany, then to Washington UBF until 1996 or 1997. I don’t quite remember when exactly I left.  I would like to add another item to Brian’s list of UBF’s unlawful behavior posted on June 3, 2015 and that is, child abuse and neglect.

For example, when some parents could not find a babysitter for their three pre-school age children so that the parents could attend a mandatory UBF Bible conference, they locked the children into their apartment from Friday through Sunday afternoon after instructing them to feed themselves out of the refrigerator.

My own experiences were even worse. When I was pregnant with my twins, missionaries never encouraged me to rest or take good care of myself. Instead every missionary prayed with me “to really overcome my pregnancy.”

When I asked, I never received any clarification of what they meant by this phrase. I thought it meant to put God’s work first because that was the directive in all things without exceptions.

One hot and humid Friday afternoon, after I had just finished a 40-hour workweek, the chapter director’s wife came to my apartment to urge me to go fishing with her at the University of Maryland in College Park, our fishing ground.

Being ignorant, timid, compliant, and brainwashed, I obeyed and went with her although I was feeling exhausted and nauseated.

A few days later, I gave birth to two boys prematurely. They were not expected to live, but survived anyway. However, even now as grown men, they still have many disabilities, such as autism, cerebral palsy, mental handicaps, and blindness.

They are the product of a culture of child neglect and abuse that was common in many UBF chapters at that time according to my observations.

When confronted, the missionaries aggressively denied any wrongdoing or undue influence, but insisted that what happened was all my fault and my own decision.

I have long since forgiven those who brainwashed me and acknowledged the good things that happened to me at UBF.

I do not find it easy, however, to care for two people with disabilities. My children are also struggling. But I am holding on to God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God accomplished part I of his plan for my children by letting them live. I am confident that he will also accomplish part II, which is healing them completely.

Thank you and God Bless!

Words of Blessing from Scripture

A scan through the Holy Scriptures reveals the nature of God’s blessing.

Psalm 106:3 “Blessed are they who observe justice, who do righteousness at all times!” My process of leaving was spurred on by the injustice of my sin against the Kim family in 1990. My conscience was bothered more and more as I was told the forget about this event by ubf people. The more I sought relief from this pain of conscience, the more blessed I felt. Seeking justice opens a door to God’s blessing.

Isaiah 30:18 [The Lord Will Be Gracious] “Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” I was told repeatedly to just wait on ubf leaders to change. But I saw no evidence of change, just a mere rearranging the chairs on the Titanic. So I decided to stop waiting on ubf leaders to change, and to wait on God to work His justice. Waiting on God is so much more blessed than waiting on change in an organization.

What does Jesus say?

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us that blessing is not about being “in” or “out” of some community. Blessing is the gift of God, bestowed upon both individuals and community.

In Matthew 5:1-12 Jesus tells us the kind of people God blesses. They are the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers and the people who are insulted and persecuted. I am not going to claim to be great in these areas. I know I fall short. Yet it was these verses of blessing that comforted me so many times during my leaving process. Every time I thirsted for righteousness, sought to deepen my understanding of godly sorrow or strived to be pure and honest, I felt the hand of God’s blessing. This brought much persecution from ubf people who cared more about obedience and loyalty than righteousness or purity of heart. And that led me to be greatly blessed.

What is blessing?

I have discovered that ubf taught me a vending machine attitude toward blessing. Go to daily bread in the morning, get a blessing that Sunday. Write a glory-story testimony, get a blessing that Friday. But Jesus does not have such a pragmatic idea of blessing. Jesus says blessings are the kingdom of heaven, comfort, the earth, satisfaction, mercy, the ability to see God, and the children of God. Surely there are many pragmatic blessings, but Jesus invites us to gain the greater blessings. Before leaving I and my home chapter in Toledo went through several years of discord. There was no satisfcation or comfort. But I found these blessings poured out on us through my leaving process.

So then, God does not show favoritism. Being “in” ubf is no more special than being “out” of ubf. In fact, maybe we could drop the in/out dichotomy and say “at” ubf. Some, like Ben and forests, are at ubf ministry. But they are not “in” any special blessing. I am not at ubf ministry. But I am not “out” of any blessing from God.

My Blessed Life after ubf

My life is also practially blessed. My wife and I went on our first date after 18 years of marriage (instead of single college students who “co-work”). We are learning and succeeding at how to be good parents (instead of passing on a heritage). My job is stable and our finances are recovering from the finance abuse. At ubf, I had 19 jobs in about 20 years. Now I’ve had the same job for two years in a row! Our family is making new friends and resting in the blessing of God. We have actually studied the bible and learned from the bible (instead of just making copy-cat white binders).

Our family had an initial time of turbulence, but that is smoothing out now. I no longer think it will take 24 years to recover from my 24 years at ubf. After just 4 years, we have already seen so much healing and blessing.

So please, ubf shepherds, can we stop the false teaching that when you leave ubf you are cursed? We former members are just as blessed as you are. Surely there is blessing at ubf and not at ubf.

Remembering Sarah

Back in 2012, I shared my thoughts on remembering Sarah. I pray for the continued healing and  restoration of their family. I pray for grace and peace to be with them. I pray for the memory of Sarah to be a good one–a reminder that life is short and that we should live our lives in happiness. I pray that her life may remind us of the pressure people are living with.

Remembering the Others

The other suicides related to ubf people are still mostly a mystery to me. They are like unknown soldiers, people I don’t know much about. Still I remember them. Here is a quote from the past: “Then something tragical happened. A UBF shepherd from my chapter had commited suicide. I had known him a little bit and had lived for some time together with him in UBF “common life.” Therefore I went to his funeral, together with D (who had been his shepherd) and one or 2 other UBF members.” When we begin to pressure someone to make life decisions for the sake of ubf mission, might we remember the burdens people are dealing with?

The Burden Layers

In my article, “My Journey of Recovery” I shared the multiple burden layers that I had discovered in my life after leaving ubf. I suspect there are more. It is these burden layers that ubf imposes onto your life, so much so that thoughts of suicide enter your mind. It is these layers of burden that I demand ubf leaders to remove from ubf members. I demand that ubf “shepherds” no longer falsely advertise “just one hour of bible study per week!” when they have this massive lifestyle of entanglement planned for the new students.

Suicide is not the Unforgivable Sin

I also take the time each Memorial Day to share with people that suicide is not the unforgivable sin. Suicide may be the only way to find peace. You see, that is what the human soul seeks–peace and hope. When you take away peace and hope people are left with darkness and silence. I find solace in Jesus’ Gethsemane prayer. Our Messiah prayed for us. He forgives us. He longs to live inside us. He is alive today and loves us.

The Bigger Issue

For those who took their own lives, there is nothing left to discuss. My greater concern is for those who live with thoughts of suicide, depression or sadness. That is why I bring up this topic on Memorial Day, to raise awareness and courageously talk about a typically taboo subject.

So I ask: What gives you hope? How do you find peace? Why do you say we should value life?

One final thought… The movie “A Few Good Men” inspired me with courage beyond belief. I love this scene and I see myself as Tom Cruise :)

Leaving your family

The story in Tangled begins with Rapunzel being taken away from her family by Mother Gothel. The reason is because Mother Gothel realizes that Rapunzel has power to keep her young. It is the youth of Rapunzel that Mother Gothel desires. So Mother Gothel takes Rapunzel away from her parents. She gives Rapunzel a good life, but isolates her in a tall castle tower.

Forming a Co-dependent Relationship

As Rapunzel grows up, she receives many good gifts from Mother Gothel, who provides rather well for Rapunzel’s development. Rapunzel has many opportunities for learning, painting, sewing, crafting–all kinds of things. The only catch is Rapunzel must stay within the castle walls, never to venture outside. Rapunzel grows up into a teenager with a decently happy life and becomes trained in various arts–music, reading, etc. As she grows, a longing grows too. Rapunzel longs to know what the lights mean. She always has a faint vision of a light and loves to see the hundreds of lights that mysteriously show up on her birthday every year. She can see them from her window but knows not what they mean.

Over time, Rapunzel comes to depend on Mother Gothel. Mother Gothel comes to depend on Rapunzel. They need each other. The bond of co-dependency forms.

An Outside Visitor

A surly character named Flynn changes everything for Mother Gothel and Rapunzel when he happens upon Rapunzel’s castle by mistake. This outside visit leads Rapunzel on a wild adventure outside the castle. She struggles at first as to whether she should go or not. She feels loyal to Mother Gothel but the longing to know the meaning of the lights drives her onward to the outside world. To her surprise, she fares rather well in the “big bad world” outside her castle.

Mother Gothel’s Trick to get Rapunzel Back

Mother Gothel finds out Rapunzel talked to Flynn and ventured into the outside world. Mother Gothel fears losing her source of youth and goes after Rapunzel and Flynn. Mother Gothel tricks Rapunzel into thinking Mother Gothel is her true family and that Flynn abandoned her. In reality, Flynn was the honest one. Rapunzel falls for the trick and goes back to the castle, believing Mother Gothel really does know best.

Rapunzel Realizes Who She Is

This scene is most powerful and relevant. Rapunzel realizes she is the lost princess. The lights are for her, sent by her parents. She reconnects with her family. Love wins.

Mother Gothel: Rapunzel? Rapunzel, what’s going on up there? Are you all right?
Rapunzel: [whispers] I’m the lost princess.
Mother Gothel: [sighs] Please speak up, Rapunzel. You know how I hate the mumbling…
Rapunzel: [louder] I am the lost princess! Aren’t I?
[Mother Gothel stares in shock]
Rapunzel: Did I mumble, Mother? Or should I even call you that?
Mother Gothel: [pauses, then regains composure] Oh, Rapunzel, do you even hear yourself? Why would you ask such a ridiculous question?
Rapunzel: [pushes her away, angry and frightened] It was you! It was ALL you!
Mother Gothel: [coldly] Everything I did was to protect YOU.
[Rapunzel shoves past Gothel in disgust]
Mother Gothel: Rapunzel!
Rapunzel: I’ve spent my entire life hiding from people who would use me for my power…
Mother Gothel: Rapunzel!
Rapunzel: …when I should have been hiding – from YOU!
Mother Gothel: Where will you go? He won’t be there for you.
Rapunzel: What did you do to him?
Mother Gothel: That criminal is to be hanged for his crimes.
Rapunzel: [gasps] No…
Mother Gothel: Now, now, it’s all right. Listen to me. All of this is as it should be.
[She tries to touch Rapunzel, but Rapunzel grabs her wrist]
Rapunzel: No! You were wrong about the world. And you were wrong about ME! And I will NEVER let you use my hair again!
[Mother Gothel breaks free of Rapunzel’s grip, only to cause a nearby mirror to fall and smash. Rapunzel then turns to leave]
Mother Gothel: You want me to be the bad guy? Fine.
[advances toward Rapunzel threateningly]
Mother Gothel: Now I’m the bad guy.

Sources:
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0165312/quotes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangled

First: Be a family-centered person!

If there is anything helpful in my recovery from undue religious influence at UBF, for me it was re-connecting with my family. I was told by a UBF missionary that my visiting my brother’s wedding was an act of Satan. Things like this made me cautious and fearful about visiting my family members.

After coming out of UBF in 2011, however, I find that cutting off ties with parents, etc. is more like Satan’s work. Visiting family is in reality more like Jesus’ work. Jesus once visited Simon’s house, correct? Yes there is a family-like fellowship among believers but nowhere in the bible do we find that it is evil to value and cherish and visit your family.

Second: Be your own man or own woman!

Based on a few proof-texted verses from the bible, UBF shepherds tend to teach you that you cannot make your decisions on your own. Always there is a need to at least check your decisions against your shepherd or chapter director, depending on how big the decision is. I say “be your own man!”. The disrespect for a person’s autonomy at UBF chapters is a blatant red flag of spiritual abuse.

I would suggest reading about healthy mentoring. Mentoring often includes many people as mentors, not just one. Mentors are chosen by students, not the other way around. Why should your life be directed by someone you randomly met on campus one day? It is your life. It is your decision. It is your responsibility.

If you had the chance, what would you say to all UBF sheep right now?

My Resistance to the Cult Label

It must be noted first that the term cult did not come from me. I resisted this label for decades. Even after leaving, I wrestled with whether to use this term or not. In the past, I was “Mr. UBF” and argued intensely to defend the UBF organization for many years (2002 to 2007). I worked with Sarah Barry and others to erase negative information about UBF on the internet. I called Mr. Fisk of the NAE to argue in favor of re-instating UBF to the NAE organization. So for most of my life I hated the cult label and fought hard to remove it.

In 2008 I met John Jun at a UBF staff conference breakfast and listened to him gleefully tell me how UBF lawyers had removed the threat of Chris and his ubf-hate website. My eyes began opening to the facts.

In 2009 or so I discovered that James Kim (of Toledo UBF) had died. I was furious that no one told me so that I could attend his funeral. I was told another James Kim drove Paul Hong and Mark Gamber to the funeral. After this I decided to read the entire letters of James Kim and Rebekah Kim. I highly recommend reading these and processing them. Charles recently posted the links in a comment here.

Where does the cult label come from?

I began researching the issue online in the following years. I have now built up my priestly>nation website as a resource for links to everything related to UBF. One major resource is my list of links to newspaper articles that mention UBF as a cult, most of which pre-date the widespread use of the internet. The cult label started being applied to UBF right away in Korea and later in 1977, after missionaries from Korea UBF went to Canada.

http://www.priestlynation.com/newspapers/

There are now many organizations that have files on UBF. The primary two, in the West at least, are from Rick Ross and Steven Hassan. Both websites have a wealth of information about undue religious influence and how to cope with such influence. Both have extensive documentation about UBF.

The cult label came from the public. That is the primary way the public still sees ubf in 2015.

Cult Education Institute
http://www.culteducation.com/faq.html

Freedom of Mind Resource Center
https://freedomofmind.com/Info/

What does the term cult mean?

My first source is Merriam-Webster’s dictionary.

: a small religious group that is not part of a larger and more accepted religion and that has beliefs regarded by many people as extreme or dangerous

: a situation in which people admire and care about something or someone very much or too much

: a small group of very devoted supporters or fans

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cult

The cult label conjures up a lot of emotion and images but in itself, the word cult is not bad. For example, I am a full-fledged “member” of the Star Wars cult! I love all things Star Wars. In this sense, the term cult refers to the fanaticism that can surround many things. Some see a Jesus fan-club cult in the West. These things are not necessarily dangerous or harmful; just a phenomena.

Qualities of Cults in Religion

In the religious realm, the word cult takes on a different nuance. Lifton and Singer are two of the most robust thinkers in the use of the word cult in religion. In my 24 year experience at UBF and my 4 years experience outside UBF has given me thousands of examples of how Toledo UBF and UBF HQ fits into the realm of the religious use of the cult label.

Lifton’s Three Qualities of a Cult

• A charismatic leader, who increasingly becomes an object of worship as the general principles that may have originally sustained the group lose power.
• A process [is in use] call[ed] coercive persuasion or thought reform.
• Economic, sexual, and other exploitation of group members by the leader and the ruling coterie.

Singer’s Three Qualities of a Destructive Cult

• The origin of the group and role of the leader.
• The power structure, or relationship between the leader[s] and the followers.
• The use of a coordinated program of persuasion, which is called thought reform [or more commonly, ‘brainwashing'”].

I would urge everyone to read the material on the FAQ at the Cult Education Institute and make up your own mind. The six most liberating words ever spoken to me were from John Armstrong: “I will not bind your conscience”. So while I use the term cult, everyone here is free to disagree. I only ask that we are able to discuss reasons why we disagree.

http://www.culteducation.com/faq.html

What kind of cult is ubf?

Clearly ubf was a personality cult from 1961 to 2002, the span of Samuel Lee’s influence. There are still many pockets of personality cult life in various ubf chapters where there is a strongly narcissistic leader who needs some sort of narcissistic supply to function. My term for ubf is that the organization as a whole is a destructive ideology cult. Here are seven reasons why.

1) Family neglect.

The first reason ubf is a cult is because they teach neglect of family. Using proof-texted ideas from the bible, they claim that it is more spiritual and pleasing to God to sacrifice your family and be mission-centered. ubf is now your family. Don’t believe me? Then try this. Share a testimony at ubf entitled “God’s will is to be family-centered. One word: I love my family.” And then skip a ubf meeting for a family event. You can expect to find many angry and sad faces when you return. To say you are “family-centered” at ubf means you are unspiritual, sinful and in danger of losing God’s approval according to ubf teaching. They further disrespect family by the requirement that every ubf shepherd must go through their arranged marriage process called “marriage by faith”.

2) Identity breaking.

The second reason ubf is a cult is because they are identity snatchers. They encourage you to adopt the viewpoint that your pre-ubf life is bad, sinful, unspiritual and the like. Your new ubf life is now good, holy and pleasing to God if you adopt the “Shepherd X” identity. To make a decision to be a ubf shepherd means everything to ubf people. Your pre-ubf identity is chipped away and cut out, meeting by meeting, until you lose touch with your authentic self. This is done in the name of self-denial and taking up your cross, strongly bound to more proof-texted ideas from bible verses. Dr. Hassan describes this as the cult identity, and it has just enough of “you” to make it seem real. ubf breaks you down through sleep deprivation at numerous conferences, continual indoctrination at daily meetings and repeated reminders of your shortcomings. Your identity becomes assimilated into the ubf community, as your life becomes intertwined with other members’ lives.

3) Decision control.

The third reason ubf is a cult is that the shepherds at ubf manipulate the members (called sheep) to control and check their life decisions, such as who to marry, when to marry, where to work, where to live, etc. The supreme values of most ubf people are loyalty and obedience to the ubf authorities. The leaders take control of people’s lives. Some leaders are called directors because they are charged with directing the affairs of their own chapter or sub-community within the ubf network. ubf leaders live a scripted life. Going “off script” is rarely tolerated, especially for repeated offenses. ubf leaders have a very difficult time in any situation where they cannot control the outcome.

4) Culture destruction.

The fourth reason ubf is a cult organization is that they destroy the culture of the host countries they send missionaries to. They consider American or German or Mexican culture to be bad or at best only useful for propagating the ubf culture. Being Korean is not bad. There are many good things about Koreans. But ubf missionaries from Korea have made the big mistake of imposing their own culture onto the countries where they go. A survey of people in ubf once asked people to describe their own ministry in one word. The most repeated word was simply “Korean”. ubf missionaries tend to ignore their host country culture and often speak of being “re-charged” by going back to Korea for a visit. After several years at ubf, a member discovers that they speak with Korean-english, eat Korean food and value the Korean Confucian ideas of loyalty, nobility, authority, etc. They also find a great disdain for their own culture.

5) Abuse of all kinds that is not acknowledged.

The final and most important reason why ubf is a harmful cult is because many incidents of abuse have been covered over since 1961 when ubf began in Korea. It is surprisingly well known among ubf leaders that there are incidents of sexual abuse, physical abuse, financial abuse, spiritual abuse and authority abuse. ubf teaches “covering doctrine”, which means leaders’ sins cannot be discussed or challenged in any way. They teach the notion that it is your duty to hide the abuse or sin of a leader. This flawed theology is again proof-texted from the bible with almost no reality check with the thousands of Christian authors and preachers who would expose such teachings. ubf has created an environment where abuse is swept under the rug and corruption thrives under the pretty masks of the appearance of godliness. While most ubf chapters are free of the sexual or physical types of abuse, verbal abuse and financial abuse is widespread.

6) Glory story fabrication

The ubf mindset is prone to rejecting perspectives and valuing intention over facts. mrkimmathclass is correct in that I was foolish to break into James Kim’s house. Who would do such a thing? No one ordered us to do that with a direct command. The reason we did such a thing is that we were fed glory stories–we believed the narrative that James and his family had asked Toledo UBF for help to move while they were in Houston. We believed the glory story that we were blessing them to become missionaries. At the time we had no idea about the god-father power struggles with Samuel Lee. That is why we were so confused when James and Rebekah were SO furious when they returned. Didn’t they appreciate our help? Why are they so angry and unthankful? Well now I understand because I faced the facts of that situation.

7) KOPAHN/12 slogans/shepherding ideology

We’ve already discussed the “kingdom of priest and holy nation” shepherding flaws extensively here. I have no desire to talk about such things but you can read all about these teachings that are so highly prized and even guarded by a new ubf website. If your ubf chapter has not specifically addressed these ideological flaws, you are still in the cult.

http://www.ubfriends.org/?s=what+ubf+taught+me

http://www.priestlynation.com/this-is-your-brain-on-ubf/

Why did I join? Why did I stay? Why did I leave?

In my books (which are onsale now 3 for the price of 1!) I share all about these three questions. My second book, “Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives” is where I process these questions directly.

I joined because of the promise of goodness. ubf offered many low-commitment/high-reward promises. They offered a noble dream of being a shepherd, which I was keen to since I had wanted to be a Catholic priest since I was 16 years old. The poured on my much praise and flattery. Mixed in with all this was a genuine spiritual awakening due to my father’s death in 1989. I had joined ubf in 1987.

I stayed for 24 years, until 2011, because the ubf ideology redefined goodness. What is good? Well going to the ubf activities is good! Everything else is bad, even family. The ubf system is primarily what I rail against, all of which fed my own desire for glory:

• Six Stages of Training
• One Cult Identity
• Three Layers of Burden
• Four Elements of Control
• Twelve Heritage Slogans

I left due to my discovery of goodness. I started reading about Spurgeon and the gospel of Christianity. The goodness of transformation by the Holy Spirit overcame me when I read Christian books. The goodness of a virtual community (like ubfriends) brought much peace and light and healing to my soul. And the goodness of LGBTQIA people who accepted me helped me re-connect with goodness again. Most importantly my wife and mother and all my family became my bedrock of goodness again.

Here is a quote from my second book:

“For the most part, I feel that I was drawn out of UBF. One could say the Holy Spirit lead me to UBF and lead me away from UBF in order to display God’s goodness. That drawing out began in 2003 when my family moved to Detroit as UBF pioneers. My time in Toledo UBF was intensely regulated the entire 16 years, being consumed by attending UBF meetings on a daily basis. But my time in Detroit was free of such meetings. For the most part, our family was left alone. The downside of this was that we felt abandoned and had no support to actually build up a Christian church. The upside was that we had no more direct supervision from UBF missionaries. We were free! I used this time at first to defend UBF ideologies on the internet. But it was quickly pointed out to me by former UBF members that my situation as a “pioneering” family was very different from normal a UBF experience. I could not but agree. And one by one, all my defenses of UBF fell apart. I desperately wanted to defend the organization that I had given my blood, sweat and tears for. As my defenses fell apart, I began seeking Christian writings and sermons. I fell in love with the work of Charles Spurgeon. I met my grandparents’ pastor several times and read some of the Christian books he gave me. All this lead me to have a strong desire for community.”

One final note

In the end it was and has been the gospel of Jesus Christ that set me free from UBF ideology and is breaking every chain!  Please read Isabelle’s book and process all these things:  “I Choose: Subtlety in Cults“

Per the question about membership, it probably goes without saying that the most important membership we have is in the body of Christ. While it may be obvious, it is the starting point of any Christian church’s legitimacy and must be mentioned. Our fundamental identity comes from our relationship with God through Christ, not from an organization. By God’s grace in Jesus Christ we are part of the larger, invisible church of God (Eph 4:25, 1 Cor 12) that spans human organizations and carries out his will in the world. The head of that church is Christ himself (Col 1:18, Eph 1:22-23). The benefits of this membership are numerous. The Holy Spirit lives within us, we have been given diverse spiritual gifts to use for God’s glory, we are part of a supportive community, we can grow through being accountable to each other, and we have a context through which we can serve the Lord to bring the gospel to the ends of earth, among many other things. Our responsibility towards each other is to do everything in love (1 Cor 16:14, John 13:34) and to seek peace and reconciliation (Rom 12:18, Mt 5:23-24). Communion is a symbol of our corporate fellowship with Christ, based on his broken body and the shedding of his blood for our sins. As we examine ourselves and repent of sins before taking communion (1 Cor 12:27-33), so we have the responsibility to continually be cleansed of sin in our lives and grow as Christ’s unblemished bride (Ephesians 5:25-27). Any Christian organization or church, including UBF, is subject first and foremost to the expectations of behavior for a member of the Body of Christ.

The church is greatly beloved of Christ and is a glorious manifestation of his love and purpose in the world, but it is not without its issues. Christ knows the good deeds of the church (Rev 2:2-3, 2:9-10, 2:13, 2:19, 3:8, 3:13), but he is also critical of her (Rev 2:4, 2:16, 2:20, 3:1-2, 3;15). He says to one of the churches in Revelation, “Those who I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.” (Rev 3:19) In the same way, while we may love the church we are realistic about it. She should not be an idol. We don’t serve an organization or a church in a vacuum; we serve the Lord himself through the church. We acknowledge that while our Lord is perfect, his church may have blemishes and stains that require cleansing and redemption.

UBF is one small part of the body of Christ. Samuel Lee was not the founder of UBF. He started the organization along with Sarah Barry in 1961. In fact, it is almost impossible to imagine UBF ministry without both Samuel Lee and Sarah Barry. Ultimately it is God who started a ministry through UBF. God has mysteriously chosen to use fragile human beings, who have both good points and sins, in his work.

I knew Samuel Lee for more than two decades and for most of those years I was around him at least 3-4 times per week. God taught me a lot of good things through him. Overall my experiences with him and my observations of him were and still are mostly positive, though not all of it was positive and some of it was odd.

Of the 17 bullet points Joe listed related to Samuel Lee, I personally witnessed or experienced 7 of them at some point in time, though they may not have applied to everyone all of the time as you implied for a few of them. I heard about the other 10 items you mentioned happening to people. I can’t independently verify that those 10 items actually happened, but am reasonably certain that they did happen though they may not have applied to everyone all of the time as you implied for a few of them.

What do you think of getting blasted by a high pressure water hose for punishment, being forced to spend hours crawling on your knees in cold water, carrying heavy loads, and going without sleep and food for extended periods of time all the while someone is yelling at you at the top of his lungs? It sounds pretty abusive if you don’t know the context. But this is exactly what they do in the training for the Special Forces in the Navy (the SEALs), and all of those men voluntarily go through this training in order to prepare to be leaders and prepared for the harshness of real combat. One of the more inspiring videos I have seen is the 2014 Commencement Address at the University of Texas by Admiral William H. McRaven, who headed up the US Special Forces Command at one time. If you haven’t seen the video and have a spare 20 minutes, please check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxBQLFLei70.

What do you think of being required to take a vow of poverty, chastity and obedience to the hierarchy in order to serve the Lord Jesus? This also sounds pretty restrictive, legalistic, tough and contradictory to the love and grace of Jesus, but it is exactly what they do in the Jesuit Order of the Catholic Church, from which Pope Francis came. Jesuits are trained rigorously in many ways and can’t even own the shirt on their back, but they voluntarily submit to these to grow in their faith, and to mold their character to be more humble and obedient to the Lord.

For Lee and the people who went through the things you mentioned (and more), they had a similar motivation as those who go through the training in the above examples. I think that Samuel Lee wanted UBF to be something like a Christian Special Forces and a Jesuit-type organization. Since he and Sarah Barry took the Great Commission very seriously, the driving force was their zeal to spread the gospel to the ends of the earth and to make disciples in Christ’s name. Lots of people met Christ through their Bible teaching. Many were moved by the Holy Spirit to voluntarily go through various kinds of trainings at Lee’s direction in order to learn to rely on God, to be strong in harsh circumstances and to overcome in order to be Christ’s witness. It was good training for them, and many vigorously testify to that to this day. Many voluntarily became missionaries. God used them and is still using them to share his word and his love, and to in turn make more disciples of Jesus.

But Lee’s approach was not good for everyone. The Navy SEALs give each person the option of “ringing the bell” to quit at any time. The Jesuits also provide a path out if that is not God’s call in a person’s life. In UBF, Lee and others sometimes did not present a clear way to opt out. It was his way or the proverbial highway to hell sometimes. Some did not voluntarily sign up for “training” or were not ready for it but got that treatment anyway, and this caused unnecessary problems that look like abuse. Lee was given and exerted a great deal of control over the lives of a number of people. His zeal for God, genuine compassion for people, love of the Bible, wit and insight were remarkable. These qualities made him a benevolent dictator for many he was around for the vast majority of the time. But Lee had his shortcomings, as we all do, that had amplified effects because of his position of power. A dose of Confucian cultural norms, a pinch of Korean nationalism and a smidgen of Machiavellian turpitude made Lee’s mostly unchecked power problematic at times.

The strong emphasis on mission in UBF is a wonderful thing, but when misapplied it creates some knotty issues. For example, some people may not have met Christ deeply before earnestly participating in mission work. Thus, it could have come across that a message of salvation by works was being preached rather than salvation by faith in Christ alone, and it could have been inferred that service to the church or people in the church was most imperative. In other cases, mission was put above families, causing hurt, neglect and dysfunction. Only the Lord himself deserves first place in our lives, not an organization. And putting the Lord first is not inconsistent with loving our families and being a responsible person in the world. While our church and the students on the campus are important, our families, jobs, friendships and even our enemies are an integral part of our mission of making disciples of Jesus as well as of our witness for Christ.

The good qualities that Lee possessed and practiced consistently are elements that any ministry would want to maintain. We thank God for those positive legacies in our UBF ministry, and the work of the Holy Spirit through them. However, while it is necessary to have strong leaders, there has been work to remedy and redeem continuing authoritarianism in the ministry and its consequences. Leaders are being referred to more as “Pastor” rather than “Director”. More local chapters have bodies of elders so as to provide more shared leadership, and servant leadership is being emphasized more in staff interactions. There has been a gradual transition from Korean missionary leadership to native leadership. In parallel, I am aware of UBF reaching out to several people and families who have been adversely affected by ministry practices to apologize and promote reconciliation, and I foresee the possibility of this happening on a larger scale. The time frame for all of this is now and on a continuous basis going forward. Any attempt to address everything in one fell swoop at a particular point in time with one action or with one document would be a spurious exercise.

Having said the above, it is clear that any initiative or response in any amount of time is not good enough. A lot of the issues should have been dealt with long ago, or never even should have been allowed to happen in the first place. Many of us just may not fully understand yet about how we negatively impacted some people. We are all on our own spiritual journeys, dealing with our own personal issues, wounds and sins, and are still trying to process what God has been teaching us, but there are opportunities for frank and respectful interaction in many types of forums and contexts going forward. There is room for contrition, listening to narratives that may not be to our liking, and embracing people we misunderstood, disrespected, hurt and damaged in the past. Perhaps through this process God may help us to learn more and bring healing and blessing to those who have left, as well as to those who are in UBF.

As an additional note, there are numerous other ways we may not fully understand what we have done. I know some people who worked very hard to share Bible studies and sacrificed much to help others but are discouraged because they feel that they have little or nothing to show for their efforts. I’ve seen despair over what some consider to be “fruitless” ministry. But oftentimes our work in ministry cannot be accurately measured by numbers of people in a meeting, nor any other conventional metric. Some have come to faith in Christ through Bible study in the ministry and then have gone on to serve the Lord in other ways outside of UBF. Some may not have grown to be disciples in the sense UBF understands it but have been greatly encouraged by the Bible studies and the amazing acts of kindness by our missionaries and shepherds at critical times. The faithful everyday lives of God’s people in the world are a wonderful influence and testimony. God often works in ways we do not expect. I am blown away by the reaction of the “righteous” people in the parable of the sheep and the goats (Mt 25:31-46). They were surprised to hear that they had done anything of note, but the King saw it quite differently (Mt 12:40).

I am thankful for the work of the Holy Spirit through UBF as one small part of the body of Christ and pray that God may have mercy on us to repent where necessary and do what is right in his sight. Evangelism and discipleship is only strengthened, not hurt, when we are honest about our shortcomings in the process of striving to be even more authentic disciples of Jesus Christ.

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them they should have behaved better.” It is in the same vein as Chesterton’s quote on publication. Chesterton was a journalist first, so this quote carries a lot of authority with it

“In matters of truth the fact that you don’t want to publish something is, nine times out of ten, a proof that you ought to publish it.”

With that in mind I would like you show you something I never planned on publishing. What follows is my “revised” testimony on John 10. John 10, if you recall, is the chapter where Jesus says he is the good shepherd. UBF is all about this chapter, and it is frequently used to solicit what I will call a “shepherd’s confession”. In this confession the person dedicates himself fully to being a shepherd to God’s people which sounds good. In reality the phrase means one dedicates themselves fully to UBF. There is no concept of fulfilling this shepherd calling in any other way. When I wrote my first testimony for John 10 (which was published here) I made sure to explain that Jesus is my shepherd and he will guide me, and secondly it is dangerous to take the shepherd metaphor too literally, and too far. I was told that my testimony was not enough about Jesus. I was told that I had “controversial ideas”. My ideas were compared to Stephan Hawking’s atheist responses to religion. With that in mind I wrote the following masterpiece.

John chapter 10 is about Jesus the good Shepherd. In this passage Jesus explains he is the good shepherd. Jesus protects us and takes care of us and keeps us from straying. He punishes the stubborn sheep to put them back in line. I once heard of a story of Dr. Samuel Lee who would help correct his sheep by dropping them off far away from the Chicago main center so they could learn the humility of Christ when they walked back. In this way he was a shepherd. Jesus is the gate and the only way to obtain salvation. Salvation comes only though a personal relationship with Jesus. No head knowledge is needed and it will hinder and harm a perfect walk with Christ. As Cs Lewis says “[theology] is a way, not the safest way.” In fact the Phrassies were very knowledgeable. Jesus the Shepherd wants his sheep to obey their shepherd. Jesus lays down his life for his sheep and then comes back from the dead as he is given authority to do. This is the basic premise of the passage. But what does this mean for me? It means I need to learn obedience to God’s shepherd. It means I need to accept the idea that I am to be a shepherd otherwise I cannot be sure that I will do what God strenuously desires for my soul. It means that I must be like Jesus. And who was Jesus? He was a shepherd. Since he was a shepherd I must be a shepherd. How did Christ love us? He died for us, but more importantly he made disciples and fed God’s flock. I must do the same. Otherwise I am worthless. “Woe to me if I don’t preach the gospel.” This spiritual milk, this line of reasoning, is needed to help my weak and immature heart. It is necessary to understand my role as God’s kingdom worker.

If I don’t feed God’s sheep I have no mission in my life. If I don’t feed God’s sheep I have only a worldly purpose. Christ wants everything from me. To him no half measures are any good. In perfect obedience to Him and his servants must I be otherwise I will be dead in my purpose. If I do not take up his yoke of raising disciples in accordance to Mat 23:19 I am nothing. I may as well give all I possess to the poor and surrender myself to the flames because I have not the love of Christ in my heart. My worldly pursuits and secular interests take away from the time that I could spend serving God in obedience making disciples and reading the bible. My interests cannot be divided. My key verse for this year even says as much “I would like you to be free from concern an unmarried man is concerned with the Lord’s affairs how can he please the Lord.” I pray that I can be a shepherd like Jesus.

The confusion ran high after this. It was not presented and I have not since had my testimonies edited. I guess I made my point.

Gary Webb broke the news in a series of articles that won him a Pulitzer Prize. But the stories he published made many people uncomfortable. Government agents retaliated against him, and major newspapers tried to discredit his work. Eventually the people closest to him, who had supported his efforts, succumbed to peer pressure and threw Webb under the bus.

As I watched this film, it brought up vivid memories of how an organization to which I belonged for many years treated members who brought up issues that the group found inconvenient. Someone wrote on a Facebook page, “Stop making UBF the scapegoat for your own problems and failures.” The person who wrote that took the accepted definition of a scapegoat and turned it upside down. Scapegoating is not something that a disgruntled individual does to a community; it is how a group treats a wayward member whom it perceives as a threat.

Scapegoating happens when a community senses shame and guilt that rightfully belongs to the group, a pattern of sin for which they are collectively responsible, and decides to take the easy way out. Instead of doing the self-examination and soul-searching that would lead to corporate repentance, they find a person who seems disposable, make that individual the problem, and throw him under the bus. The convenient choice for a scapegoat is a witness, a whistleblower, who sees wrongdoing and begins to call it out. His message would embarrass the powers-that-be, so a decision is made to isolate the messenger, to blame him for everything and drive him out of the camp. As the high priest and his attendants carry out the sentence, the rest of the community stands by and watches. Some heap criticism on the scapegoat. Others keep quiet, trembling in fear that someday they will suffer the same fate. The rest say, “This has nothing to do with me; it’s not my job to get involved.” Once the sacrifice has been made, the group stands in awkward silence. An unspoken pact is made to forget what happened and wipe the incident and the victim from memory. A moment later, life returns to normal, and everyone goes on with business as usual.

Scapegoating  happens in every tribe,  but it is most troubling and ironic when a group of Christians, those who proclaim that “Christ died for our sins,” gather up their guilt and shame and pile it on a brother or sister or son or daughter.  One example that is fresh in my mind is this testimony  of a young man who discovered sexual abuse happening in his UBF chapter, along with other unpleasantries such as drug dealing, racist remarks and ethnocentricism. He brought these things to the attention of leaders and pastors, trusting that they would take corrective action. Instead, this young man was criticized, marginalized, accused and blamed; the “loving environment” of this gospel community became so toxic that he had no choice but to leave.

That story hit close to home, because the people who apparently engaged in scapegoating included some whom I have known for decades, for whom I retain a degree of love and respect. People who scapegoat never do it consciously.  By definition, they cannot.  If they knew that they were doing it, they would be admitting that the blame they placed on the victim was rightfully theirs, and that admission would make the guilt-transfer impossible. Scapegoating requires the group to keep telling itself a story of its own innocence and goodness. The community must maintain a code of silence, never allowing sensitive and embarrassing issues that led to scapegoating to be talked about openly, because once these things are acknowledged, all the guilt that was heaped upon every scapegoat in the past comes rushing back like a torrent, engulfing the community in a flood of shame, and they can no longer maintain the collective lie.

Another heartbreaking story was recently told to me by someone who played in the Chicago UBF orchestra in the 1990’s. During one of their practices, Samuel Lee walked in. The room fell silent and everyone was on edge. Lee walked up to one of the orchestra members, a young man who was probably thought to be rebellious, and Lee repeatedly slapped him and punched him in the head. The young man wanted to leave, but the orchestra conductor urged him not to go. Then Lee told some members of the orchestra to stand up and punch one another. If they didn’t punch hard enough, he urged them to punch harder. The young man who had been assaulted by Lee was thoroughly disgusted and decided to walk out, and as he went, Lee followed him and said, “Thank me. Before you leave, you should thank me.”

My youngest son is now in 8th grade, about the same age of the orchestra members who witnessed these things. I am trying to imagine what it would be like for my son if I sent him to a church activity, believing that it would help him to grow in faith and experience the love of God, and instead he would be sitting in a room filled with terrified teenagers and college students as a pastor walked around the room and verbally and physically abused them. And then to have every authority figure in his life — his parents, the orchestra conductor, and all the adults in his church — praising this pastor and urging him to submit to this guy no matter what he does because he is “God’s servant,” and because everything he did was done with good intentions and love. I shudder to think about the long-lasting psychological damage this would do to a young man. That damage has been done. It is very real. It has not been acknowledged. Many of us experienced it, in varying ways and degrees. But the UBF community refuses to speak of it, except in whispers behind closed doors. A long list of people who had the clarity and courage to identify this behavior as what it was – physical, psychological, and spiritual abuse – was  tarred as rebellious, unthankful, unspiritual, a bad influence, full of ulterior motives, etc. and driven out of the camp, so that everyone could go on with business as usual and keep telling the story of how beautiful and glorious the community was.

What troubles me most about these stories is that they are about me. Yes, I have been scapegoated for breaking the code of silence and telling these stories in a public space. The scapegoating I experienced was painful, but not nearly as bad as what others have endured. The troubling part is that, for nearly three decades, I participated in the scapegoating. As brave individuals identified wrongdoing and spoke out, I was one of those who remained silent as the community labeled them as troublemakers, deflecting the corporate shame and guilt and heaping it on those who spoke up. I never stood by anyone who was being blamed or marginalized for simply telling the truth. If I had been in the orchestra that day, I am quite sure that I would have sat there in silence as that young man was slapped and punched. I would have thought that surely Samuel Lee had a reason to treat him that way, and it was not my place to get involved or to question the wisdom of God’s servant. Again and again, I swallowed and repeated tales of UBF-uprightness and scapegoat-sinfulness, not because I was completely unaware of the truth, but because I didn’t want to pay the price and become another scapegoat. And, to be honest, I benefitted a great deal from the indulgent praise that UBF heaped upon itself. Those stories gave me the illusion that I was a better person, better than all those halfhearted nominal Christians, because I belonged a better church than they, one that did not compromise in its message or mission. As one of a select few highly educated white Americans in the ministry, I got tons of attention, plenty of speaking roles, management perks, a place at the head table, invitations to travel. It was a good gig, and I didn’t want to mess it up by getting involved in matters that I reasoned were none of my business. So I stood by as one scapegoat after another was blamed for the corporate sin and driven away from the flock. When I finally decided to stand up and say “No more,” it was not because I suddenly became courageous and was willing to pay the unbearable price. No, it was only after I had the moral support of a loving wife and many godly and loyal friends willing to stand beside me so that, if the rest of UBF would throw me under the bus, it wouldn’t hurt nearly as bad. That is my story, a story of corporate guilt and shame that I deflected and channeled onto one scapegoat after another.

Saint Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556), the founder of the Jesuit order, encouraged his followers to meditate on scripture by using their powers of imagination. Evangelical Christians tend to approach Bible passages quasi-scientifically, as subject to be dissected and examined with tools of reason. In contrast, a well known Ignatian practice is to insert oneself into a story from Scripture, first as an observer, then as a participant. For example, with the birth of Jesus from Luke chapter 2, you could paint a mental picture of the manger, conjuring up its sights, sounds, and smells, and then imagine yourself to be one of the shepherds who has come to see Jesus, trying to think what he thinks and feel what he feels. Any good student of the Bible will tend to do this, but Ignatian spiritual practice takes it to a much higher level.

In the Roman Catholic and Anglican traditions, Palm Sunday is sometimes called Passion Sunday. Worshipers at the Eucharistic liturgy are given palms to recall the triumphal entry of Jesus into Jerusalem. However, the main passage of Scripture that day is the whole passion narrative from Matthew’s or Mark’s gospel covering the Last Supper, the prayer of Jesus in Gethsemane, his arrest, trial, crucifixion, death and burial.  Most Sundays, the gospel reading is done by a single priest or deacon. On Passion Sunday, however, it becomes a dramatic presentation with multiple readers taking the roles the narrator, Jesus, the chief priests, and so on. A few lines are given to the congregation. A similar pattern is followed on Good Friday, and at that solemn service the passion narrative always comes from John.  Standing among the worshipers and listening can evoke powerful emotions, but at those few moments when the congregation reads its lines, the experience can be downright disturbing.

As you recall the story of the Passion, where do you insert yourself? If you come from an evangelical background, you might see yourself as an apostle. Maybe you are Peter, who loved Jesus but denied him in a moment of weakness.  You probably identify with Barabbas, who deserved to die for his sins, but by an act of divine mercy was set free as the innocent Jesus went to Calvary his place. Standing in the shoes of Barabbas encapsulates what many believe the gospel is all about. When we hear “Christ died for our sins” (1Co 15:3), we think of all the bad things we did as individuals, especially back in the days before we got saved, when we were monstrous men and wayward women, drinking and fornicating and never going to church. We thank God and breathe a sigh of relief that Jesus was nailed to the cross instead of us. Good Friday is when divine wrath was poured out on the Son of God so that we could get off scot-free. Many Christians understand the Passion that way, and I won’t claim that they are entirely wrong. But that is not how the story was told by Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. In the four canonical accounts, the suffering and death of Jesus is never presented as the punishment of an angry God against people who were lustful and lazy, who drank too much, or who denied God’s existence. Last time I checked, Jesus wasn’t crucified by the Association of Atheists, the Federation of Fornicators, or the Society of Scofflaws. Many of those public sinners felt deeply loved and accepted by Jesus. In every account, the proximate cause of the crucifixion was the ire of a religious community upset by what Jesus said and did. Jesus was sent to his death by group that by all accounts was the most devout and Biblically literate society in the world, the very people who saw themselves as the champions of biblical values, who spent endless hours immersed in Scripture, memorizing Scripture, and teaching people to live by Scripture.

The Passion Sunday and Good Friday liturgies do not shy away from this fact. The lines assigned to the congregation are the shouts of the crowd, “Crucify him! Crucify him!”

Am I the only one who finds this strange? After all, the people in church on those occasions are precisely the ones who have gathered in the name of Christ to bear witness to his kingship. They are the ones who have supposedly gotten the gospel right, who have accepted Jesus’ message and who love him the most. And yet, on Passion Sunday and Good Friday, they are made to rise up with one voice, not to defend Jesus’ innocence, but to gather their collective shame and guilt and pile it all on top of him. These so-called people of God are to pat themselves on the back, extolling their own faith and piety, as they send their innocent scapegoat to a horrible and excruciating death.

As a lifelong churchgoer, I find this participation in the Passion liturgy to be poignant, subversive and profoundly unsettling. It probes my soul at a far deeper level than the standard and well trodden “I-am- Barabbas” way of presenting the gospel. I don’t find it hard to place my individual sins on the shoulders of Jesus, especially those sins that I committed in the distant past and which I have long ago disavowed. It is not costly to imagine the cross as solving an equation that balances out the principles of God’s justice and mercy. Those transactions happen somewhere else, in a spiritualized, abstract realm of theory that has little to do with here and now. It is much harder to accept my part in sending Jesus to the cross in the way portrayed in the four gospels, as part of a community that scapegoats and rejects God who is truly present in the flesh. But that is precisely what every community does.

Some of us imagine that if Jesus were to suddenly show up at church, we would wholeheartedly welcome him. If so, then we are not thinking hard, or we are hardly thinking. The Jesus of the gospels is a man who would sooner or later get kicked out of any Christian community. For example, suppose you had never heard the parable of the sheep and goats (Matthew 25). Imagine Jesus showing up and preaching that story from the pulpit. I can imagine someone from The Gospel Coalition writing an article denouncing that story as carrying a dangerous doctrine of salvation by works. Although I am not particularly fond of TGC, I am using them only as an example; I do not want to single them out, because the Jesus presented in the four gospels says and does things that, if we had not already known of them, would deeply offend any Christian of any denomination or tribe. No matter what church you attend, if Jesus Christ were to show up at your church, I have no doubt that eventually he would be scapegoated and kicked out.

In fact, this is not a hypothetical. Jesus Christ has shown up and your church, and Jesus Christ has been kicked out. In the mystery of the Incarnation, Jesus has made his home among us, living right here in this messy, sinful, creaturely world. Whenever we have met a believer in Christ, we have seen the face of Jesus. Whenever we have encountered someone in need, we have seen the face of Jesus. Whenever we have looked upon any man, woman or child, any person alive who is indelibly stamped with his divine image, we have seen the face of Jesus. We have encountered him again and again and failed to recognize him when he walked among us. We treated him badly because he made us uncomfortable, because he failed to show proper respect for our traditions, because he pointed out our hypocrisy, because he cleansed our temples and smashed our idols and disputed the fanciful stories that our group tells about itself.  It is hard for me to accept that my Christian community, where I dedicated so many years of my life, believing that we were the ones who had gotten the gospel right, is the same community that actually did stand up and shout, “Crucify!” To admit that would be to accept my culpability for the sins of the community, which I really don’t want to do. It’s so much easier to sit back and profess that Jesus died for my sins, but those horrible things that we did together, those things that I imagined were none of my business, they were not my responsibility, because I personally never abused anyone, and because it wasn’t my place to judge anyone, and besides we are better now and don’t do those things anymore…

An Open Letter to Jesus of Nazareth

Holy Thursday Evening 2015

Dear Jesus:

I am writing to let you know that I can no longer support you or your ministry. For a long time, I listened to you because I believed you were a man of God. Your words about God’s kingdom were music to my ears, balm to my wounds, chicken soup for my soul. I loved the way that you made the Scriptures so exciting, and the way you cared for the sick and served the needy. You were always the best speaker at our Bible conferences. Your messages made us laugh and moved our hearts.

But lately you have gone too far, doing things that a true servant of God would never do. When you criticize the teachers of the law, you sound so bitter. What has gotten into you? Your motives must be wrong, because no one with right motives would ever speak that way. Of course, there is some truth in what you say, but you did not say it correctly; you did not have the right tone of voice, so we cannot listen to you. No church is perfect, and our leaders always admit that they are not perfect. You should respect them for their dedication and sacrifice. But you embarrassed them and criticized them in front of young people who should not hear such things because it might damage their faith. You made yourself a bad influence and that bad influence is spreading. You are so young, just 33 years old, and yet you talk and act like you are so wise. If you know better than us how to do ministry, then you should stop criticizing and talking and do something constructive. Go off on your own and build a chapter and when you have raised many mature disciples you can come back and show us how it’s done and of course we will listen to you then. But your criticism of God’s servants now is beyond the pale. If everyone did as you do, all authority would break down and the next generation will lose their identity and become like worldly people.

For me, the last straw was when you entered the Bible house this week and became violent, turning over our tables and shouting “Get out of here!” Who do you think you are? Does that Bible house belong to you? Did you build it? Of course our ministry is not perfect. But there is no excuse for becoming angry and destructive. Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater! Your angry behavior demonstrates that your heart cannot be right with God. You need to go back to the Bible to solve your spiritual problem so that you will no longer be an angry and rebellious and impatient young man but have true wisdom and joy in your heart.

You have exceeded your position and broken spiritual order. Whatever happens to you, you should accept it as God’s discipline and training. I will pray for you. Please remember all the good things that God’s servants have done and all the people who have been blessed by their ministry and stop tearing down the community that God has built up.  Don’t tell lies or spread false rumors about anyone. Give thanks to God always so that no bitter root takes hold in your heart. Many of us still love you and we remember your hard work and service to the Lord.

I seal this letter with a holy kiss.

The darkness of UBF is overwhelming. Secrets hide behind nearly every smiling face that offers you so much as a plate of bulgoki. Growing up, every Sunday I went to CBF at the “center.” Even as I child, I always felt like there was something off about UBF people. I never quite felt like I was at home, or that this was my family.

Upon leaving UBF at age 8 with my family, we went to an unnamed evangelical church in the area. It was there that I entered life and finally learned to be a normal human being. For the first time in my young life, I felt like I could fit in with the other boys, the other children, and I learned about God, who Jesus was, and accepted him into my heart as my Lord and savior.

When I went home and told my Dad about how I had accepted Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Savior, I remember him telling me that they were watering down the truth of God and that what I had experienced and been taught by the nice people at this church wasn’t true. That all I needed to do was believe that Jesus died on the cross of my sins. He told me that I was already more spiritually mature than the other kids at this church because of my time in UBF.

As a little boy, I was crushed, because I felt like I had experienced something good at this new church, and yet my Dad rebuked me for it. Apparently, you can take the shepherd out of UBF, but you can’t take the UBF out of the shepherd.

When I was 12, my Father convinced our family to go back to UBF, because it had “changed.” Looking back now, if what I experience during my teen years was a redeemed version of UBF, I am frightened about what went on before it was reformed. I was prohibited to date, or to even so much as look at a girl. My entire sexual and romantic being was squashed and treated as something to be despised, something evil. Along with this went my self-esteem and sense of self. I am emotionally scarred from this sole experience and to this day am not comfortable with anything relating to romantic relationships or sexuality in general.

We were taught lies. It was demanding of us by our parents and youth leaders that we write and share testimonies every week and there would be guilt and shame delivered unto us if we did not participate. I was made to feel as if the gospel were all about doing random specific things like writing testimonies, studying the bible in a weird specific way, and doing daily bread, etc. When in reality, the gospel is not about what we have to do, but about what Jesus has done for us already on the cross of Calvary

If I had known the history of UBF, that people were subjected to emotionally, physically, and spiritually abusive practices throughout the years, I would have never agreed to go back with my family when I was 12 years old. I was lied to, I was deceived. I was told that things had changed, but the truth is “once a cult, always a cult.” A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.

Until UBF leaders fully renounce and repent of every destructive practice and illegal action that has ever been been committed by UBF members, it was always be a cult, no matter how much things have changed. End of Story.

What I have shared is just the tip of the iceberg as far as things that I have experienced and seen within UBF. I plan on going into more detail in subsequent postings.

Unfortunately I must remain anonymous in order to protect myself, but if you are a second gen who has had a similar traumatic experience, feel free to email me.

Secondgensurvivors @ gmail.com

Proverbs 29:18a says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish…” I grew up in Malaysia, with no vision. But when I was 17, someone said, “You can enter medical school.” A vision was planted, and without ever having considered it before, I applied and entered medical school within a few months. Five years later I became a doctor.

During my medical internship in Singapore, while taking a shower, a fellow intern said, “I’m going to apply to go to the U.S.” Another vision was planted, and I immediately decided to come to the U.S., despite objections from family and friends and many difficulties. By God’s providence, I came to Chicago in 1980.

After coming to Chicago UBF, Dr. Samuel Lee began shepherding me. Those of you who know me know that I am stubborn, forceful, opinionated and highly infuriating. But through Dr. Lee, God planted a vision in me that even an unlikely person like me can shepherd American students and raise 120 disciples. Dr. Lee’s vision was unforgettable. Dr. Lee always communicated to me that I was great. But whenever he did I trembled, saying to myself, “If only you knew how sinful I am!” But he never deviated in always communicating to me unconditional love, trust and respect, despite my countless flaws, failures and sins for over 2 decades. In this way, God used him to plant the fear of God in me. In this way, God burned a fire within me to raise disciples of Christ all my life no matter what. Only by God’s mercy and the vision of Dr. Lee, God blessed my house church to establish pioneering house churches in the U.S. and to pioneer 1 nation, the Philippines.

When Dr. Lee passed away in 2002, I began praying for my own kids and for our 2nd gens. I felt a disconnection between us because there were generational barriers and cultural barriers. So, our 2nd gens subliminally thought of UBF as “my parent’s church.” But God granted me a vision that they are the best kids in the world, because they have 2 great attributes: 1) they honor the Bible as the word of God, and 2) they want to live a moral life. Then with the prayers and tears of countless UBF parents, God blessed our Young Disciples ministry over the last 5 years until 200 attendants came to our YD winter retreats in recent years.

What is my vision for our West Loop UBF? My vision is borrowed from Dr. Lee. Dr. Lee’s vision was to love and raise American leaders. According to his faith and vision, God raised so many great Americans, beginning with P. Ron, Dr. Jim Rabchuk, Dr. Joe Schafer, P. Teddy, Dr. Helen Rarick, Dr. Sam A. Lee and countless others. Similarly, God put in me a desire to support young leaders, so that God may raise them to be great servants of God. By God’s leading, God has granted us a handful of already great men and women of God for West Loop UBF. (Rhoel, Henry, Tim, Jim, Arthur, Len and Ruben. Their wives: Elena, Susan, Angie, Jenny, M. Helen, Liliana, Tif. We also have Michelle, Damon Mui, Oscar, Dindo, Iris.) Because of each of them, who are all far greater and better than I, I stand in awe of God. Because of them, and the prayers of many, and by the great mercy of God I see the vision that God will make us the best UBF chapter in the 21st century, by catching up to Triton, UIUC, LP, West LA, IIT, and Chicago UBF, to whom I am forever indebted.

I feel funny reading what I wrote just over six years ago, and the way I wrote it. Feel free to feel confused, confounded, or to cringe, cower, comment, compliment (perhaps!) or critique.

I felt so loved at UBF when I talked to or interacted with almost anyone other than my local Pastor.

You had a problem with me and so you made everyone angry at me

I could not talk to you about my problems

you would just get mad and not listen

so I did not talk to you

I could talk to anyone else in the Church

but not the Pastor

And then one day I had to leave because I did not agree with someone spiritually older than you. I suppose it was because I interpreted the Bible about a single passage. They told me I could not disrespect my elders.

I think I know why you would not listen

because you think the older never has to listen to the younger

that is why there is more hope for a fool than you

because you are wiser in your own eyes than everyone younger than you

I wish you had more hope than a fool

I wish we could be friends

I loved my UBF

I felt loved by everyone but the Pastor

Then he told them I must be fixed

But fixing me made me worse

because my Pastor broke me

He taught those below him we should not date

but pray to God

that God will send the right person

I prayed to God and thought I found someone

I did not date like he said

I followed the directions the way I thought he meant

But he did not mean what he said

There was secret knowledge reserved for the elite which I was not yet privy to, because I was not old enough. He really meant UBF has a system by which other people will find you a spouse. If I was told that in the beginning I could have obeyed but I was not considered old enough to know. But how could I have known if you did not tell me?

I obeyed what I was told

I was punished with brokenness

because I did not obey the secret rule

I was not told

because I was not old enough

So really Pastor it is not my fault that our chapter of UBF is at risk of being shut down. It is yours because you have the key to the esoteric knowledge of God’s will and you will not share it with those younger than you. You think they are too young to understand, they are too young to understand what they are not told. But you are too old to understand what you were told not old and senile but proud that you are older than everyone else so you will not listen.

If you just told them how people really get married they would not be angry at you for not telling them until it is too late. If UBF put it on their own website people would not have to read it on slanderous websites. There would be nothing slanderous about it because you would not have deceived them. A man cannot be guilty of the crime of hiding evidence when he put the evidence on the Church website for all to see.

I do not think most ex-members are angry that you arrange marriages so much as that you hide that you arrange marriages and promote it as the only way to please God best. Do not be a lamp hidden in a basket to block the light for if the light that is in you is darkness how dark will that darkness be?

When you will not share your light with the flock because you do not want them to know your secret rules the light that should come out of you is like darkness hidden within you and how dark is that darkness.

Put on the UBF website that you believe in practicing arranged marriage or matchmaking or whatever you want to call it but do not call it marriage by faith without explaining what that really means. If you don’t do this, Pastor it will be your fault when the Church doors are closed because you are spiritually too old to listen to the flock and they are too spiritually young to be told the truth about what you really mean.

People are not kicking Muslims off campus for forbidding dating they say openly it is “against our religion”. But when you keep your rules secret to the young so that the young cannot obey them, when the young have broken hearts because you broke their spirit, they ask a stronger man to break down your Church doors.

I want to cry

because I can see the flock no more

because the Pastor said I was bad

But now I want to cry even more

because the Pastor broke the pen

and scattered the sheep abroad

to be eaten by ravenous wolves

I never asked the University to ban UBF. But people are asking because you do not tell the truth. And there I was loved and felt loved except by you Pastor and I am sad that not only do I lose access to the flock but now they are harmed more because you have banned them from campus against my will.

Thursday

I arrived late Thursday and had a very long talk with one of the students from the Hyde Park chapter. He asked how things had been. Honestly the messages in my chapter have greatly changed in the last year. I really see that God has worked on my pastor. He no longer adds world mission into places where I do not feel it is obvious. Our relationship is better these days, and he understands that our relationship is very different. I try to understand him more, and I try to communicate more with him. The student was glad to hear. We talked a lot and I got to sleep very late. I had requested to have bible study with the chapter leader the next morning so I was very tired by the time I awoke. He asked me to read the book of Ephesians and give a brief outline.

Friday

I brought my outline to the bible study. I outlined the book as such:

• Blessings of the Spirit
• Who Christ is and his role in God’s redemptive plan.
• Who Paul is and his role in God’s redemptive plan.
What the Church is and its role in God’s redemptive plan.
• How the church ought to act to carry out that plan and how its members should act to help carry out that plan.
• A call to persevere against Satan.

He showed me his outline which was much more detailed. We talked about how the church should proclaim the kingdom. And he taught me how the church should shepherd God’s people, but the context of John 10 needed to be carefully understood. He said that UBF has been given shepherds. I mentioned that while the sacrificial nature of UBF shepherds and their great love for their students was its strength sometimes it was had been over stepped. He corrected me “Many times.” He mentioned that shepherds proclaim the kingdom. It was a very good bible study. Later that day I went to campus night.

Campus Night

People were totally bewildered to see me. I think in large part because I was unaccompanied by my “shepherd”. I suppose it is also surprising to see someone travel such a long way when they are really obligated in any way. It didn’t escape my notice that Yvonne Lee stared for a long time. I eventually moved to the back and when I saw Dr. Augustine he was shocked to see me.

Later Dr. John Lee from Springfield joined. The first speaker was Jacob Lee. I remember he was funny. At one point he said “I was not good enough to called Abraham so they named me Jacob which means deceiver. But I came to like the name since he had 12 sons.” I was put off by his talk. The powerpoint read “Why UBF should remain in world mission.” I didn’t believe this was a point of debate, and furthermore his answer amounted to- because UBF always has. Just because something has always been done one way does not mean it has to. But eventually he made his point. He presented from Stephan Lutz book calling campus mission strategic. I won’t go into details but he gives an outline from that book.

Mark V was the next speaker. His talk was on the history of campus mission movements. Mark V spoke incredibly fast. I was having a hard time keeping up with him. He also had a pained look on his face. I later found out he was in extreme back pain, and I suspect he was trying to get through it as fast as possible. What really struck me about his presentation was that campus mission movements grew out of YMCAs and the student volunteer movement in the mid 19th century. That explains a lot. American imperialism and a drive to evangelize the world have often went hand in hand (along with all their problems too). And here we see it.

It was remarkable how so many of the ideas of the founders of the campus movement are so similar to the ideas that Samuel Lee would later speak of. Hearing these ideas from someone who doesn’t have the history of Samuel Lee gave them more of an air of legitimacy. The frequent quotes from the founders of the student volunteer movement and its role as a parachurch were very helpful for me to understand the core foundational ideas behind UBF and its relation to Christian doctrine and why at times this has been a weak point in campus mission movements.

Kevin Albright went on to give a survey of Intervarsity. He mentioned that they do a lot of the same things as UBF. They do inductive bible study for instance. He also mentioned that many people in their organization were not encouraged at times, and the author of the book he read on Intervarsity regrets that they were not given more help. One thing he mentioned that struck me was that Cru (Campus Crusade for Christ) was more for new converts and Intervarsity was more for discipleship.

Here he meant “discipleship” as “become a more mature Christian”. But for me I have always understood discipleship as growing in Christ in whatever capacity the Holy Spirit moved you. For me I have been taught that a Christian is a disciple and a disciple is a Christian (Acts 11:26, Ephesians 2:19-22). So for me telling me someone is not a disciple is the same as saying they are not Christian. But one can be a Christian and not mature. Although it is dangerous to judge or label, a goal of maturing Christians is a noble one at the very least (this makes no mention of the methods however). To call UBF a “discipleship ministry” has always been redundant to me.

In the next article I will talk about the last few speakers. I was more than a little surprised (and inspired) by their testimonies. I also caught up to someone on Joe Schafer’s recent letter, so I will include that next time too.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Augustine Sohn, President of University Bible Fellowship, from Joseph L. Schafer, dated March 2, 2015.

Dear Augustine:

Thank you for contacting me yesterday about my status in University Bible Fellowship.

For approximately two years now, the only messages I have received from your organization were requests to attend various meetings and reminders to submit annual chapter reports. I decided to ignore those requests because, for more than five years now, leaders of UBF have been unresponsive to my repeated pleas for dialogue about important matters that affect the health of the organization and the credibility of its gospel witness. My nonresponse was not retaliation. It was an indication that I had no clue how to proceed in our relationship, because my pleas went unheeded and sometimes were not even acknowledged. Perhaps you have heard the humorous saying: “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot that I only exist when you need something.” I am sorry to say this, but that line accurately conveys my feelings toward UBF and its leaders right now.

By your message, I am once again being asked for something that UBF needs to continue its work, and nothing is being offered to me in return. We cannot continue in this fashion. The time has come to define our relationship.

You asked me to answer two questions:

1. Do you still regard yourself a member of UBF and an International Advisory Member?

2. If so, would you like to participate in voting for the next General Director?

Before I am able to answer these questions, I need you to clarify what you are asking, and I need to know the organization’s stance on several important matters. Therefore I now ask you, in your capacity as President, to answer four questions in an honest and straightforward manner. These answers may be as brief or as long as you wish, but I need to receive them in a timely fashion.

This letter to you is an open letter. I am publishing it on a public website, because I want it to be part of the public record. Many others been asking similar questions, and your answers will be of great interest to them. To promote honesty, openness and transparency, I will accept your response as an official statement by UBF and it will become part of the public record. As soon as I receive it, I will publish it in full, without editing, on the same public website.

The meaning of a question depends heavily on its context. For each of my four questions, I will explain the context so that you will know precisely what I mean.

Context for Question 1. Augustine, you asked if I regard myself as a member of UBF. The organization has a body called Members, a group of approximately 70 persons who meet annually in Chicago. I declined invitations to join that group, so I have never been a Member of UBF in that sense, and I assume you already know that. In my 30+ years of interacting with the organization, I never applied for membership or signed a membership pledge. In most organizations, the meaning of membership is explicit. It is a social contract between the individual and the group in which the person pledges to abide by certain rules and perform certain duties (for example, by paying annual dues). In return, the organization’s leaders grant him rights of membership, providing him with meaningful resources and services, representing his interests and becoming responsive to his concerns. Augustine, because you used the term member, you must have in mind some category of person or some condition of good standing with respect to the organization. I am not being coy when I say, I honestly do not know what you mean by member.

Question 1: What does it mean to be a member of UBF? If there is such a thing as being a member, please explain the duties, responsibilities, and rules of conduct expected of members, and describe what the organization and its leaders provide in return. Also explain whether leaders are obligated to make good-faith efforts to respond to members’ serious concerns in a timely fashion.

Context for Question 2. Before someone can rationally decide whether or not to join an organization, he needs to know whether the organization’s interests align with his own.  This requires the organization to state its positions on important matters within its spheres of activity. UBF presents itself as an organization dedicated to making disciples of Jesus, so the methods by which it teaches and trains disciples should be clarified. When I first became involved in UBF more that thirty years ago, I experienced the leadership of the late Samuel Lee, the organization’s founder and General Secretary. Lee was described as an exemplary disciplemaker, a role model for others to follow, and his influence on organizational culture was profound. Here are some of Lee’s activities that I observed firsthand or heard about through the testimony of credible witnesses.

• Lee reserved the right to change the name of anyone at any time. He reserved the right to name your children.
• Lee reserved the right to tell you to quit your job at a moment’s notice.
• Lee reserved the right to tell you at any time to change your clothing or hairstyle.
• No one could marry without his specific approval. He chose whom you could marry, and the wedding would be at a time and place of his choosing.
• In some cases, the length of time between when Lee introduced people to each other and the actual wedding was less than one week.
• When Lee married couples, he made up the wedding vows himself, frequently inserting promises that had nothing to do with marriage (e.g. promises by the couple that they would to go as missionaries to Russia). These vows were not agreed upon by the couple ahead of time.
• If you turned down a marriage candidate that Lee chose for you, you could be severely rebuked and trained for it.
• No one could miss a Monday night meeting or a Friday night meeting or Sunday worship service. If you missed a meeting without what Lee considered to be a valid excuse, you would get rebuked and trained.
• Lee would impose quotas on fellowship leaders to bring a certain number of people to weekly services and to conferences. Those who failed to do so would be shamed or punished in various ways.
• If Lee thought you did not offer enough money at the annual Christmas worship service, he might rebuke you in front of everyone.
• Sometimes Lee told missionaries and shepherds whose families were well off to ask their parents to give large sums of money to the organization.
• When Lee denounced or rebuked people, he often did so harshly, without warning, standing before the congregation. During these denunciations, some of the things that Lee said had little or no basis in fact.
• No one in Chicago who was considered a shepherd or missionary could travel outside the Chicago area for any reason without Lee’s approval. If you did travel, it was understood that you needed to be back in town for the next Sunday worship service, otherwise you could be rebuked and trained.
• If you lived outside of Chicago and you were selected to go on a “journey team” to Korea or elsewhere, you were told to buy an airline ticket to Chicago with an open return date, which could be very expensive. The reason for the open return date was that, once you were in Chicago, Lee reserved the right to keep you there indefinitely for training activities of his own choosing.
• Lee prescribe unorthodox diets and medical treatments and, in some cases, surgical procedures, and the doctors and nurses in Chicago would carry them out.
• If you objected to any of Lee’s practices, missionaries and shepherds would immediately counsel you to obey Lee because he was God’s servant. Failure to obey even in a small matter could result in training, monetary fines, public shaming and shunning.
• Lee sometimes urged missionaries to send their infant children back to Korea to be cared for by relatives so that the missionaries could focus on their ministry activities. In at least one case, he told a missionary couple to give one of their children to another couple who were childless.

Augustine, you and many UBF elders lived under Lee’s leadership; you had ample opportunity to witness his activities and hear about what he was doing.  If these statements are true, I believe UBF’s credibility as a disciplemaking ministry is deeply tarnished and will remain so until (a) the organization acknowledges that they happened and (b) takes a stand on whether these activities are appropriate. If they are inappropriate, leaders must then decide whether and how the organization’s culture can be rehabilitated, making a long-term commitment to identifying and rooting out residual forms of these practices that are present in varying degrees at UBF chapters worldwide.

Question 2. Do you confirm or deny that Samuel Lee, the founder of UBF, engaged in practices similar to those I listed above? If you confirm, does UBF regard these as appropriate methods of Christian discipleship? If  UBF does not consider them appropriate, will the organization issue a mea culpa, apologizing to everyone who received this kind of treatment from Lee and from other UBF leaders who did similar things, and will UBF take publicly visible, measurable and determined steps to root these practices out from its organizational culture? If so, give a timeline for these measures.

Background for Question 3. In recent years, I have heard multiple allegations of UBF members (however that is defined), shepherds and missionaries becoming aware of or being involved in the following:  domestic violence against women and children, sexual molestation, inappropriate physical contact between staff and disciples, and regrettably (in one prominent example) incest. In cases where laws may have been broken, no one made reports to law enforcement officials even when minors were involved. Training and policies on abuse, with mandatory reporting of allegations involving minors, are commonplace in American churches and campus ministries. As far as I can tell, UBF has no policies and does not train its staff on how to handle incidents like these, and the organization appears ill equipped to develop them on their own.

Question 3. Does UBF have any official policies or training on violence and sexual abuse? If not, what will the organization plan to do about this? Do your plans involve external consultants, and when will this be carried out? Give a timeline.

Background for Question 4. Augustine, you asked whether I consider myself to be an Intenational Advisory Member (IAM) and whether I will be voting for the next General Director. In most organizations, elections are a process by which voters select leaders from a pool of multiple candidates. To help voters make rational and informed choices, candidates will state their qualifications and accomplishments, describe their beliefs and lay out a vision for what they intend to do if they are elected. However, it is my understanding that, in the election of the next General Director, IAMs will be given one preselected candidate and will be asked to vote “Yes” or “No.” I find this confusing. I do not know what “Yes” or “No” means in an election with one candidate. Does the organization want my input to help it make a choice, or does it merely want my vote to lend an appearance of choice to a decision that has already been made? And whatever it means to vote “Yes” or “No,” I have no clue how to make an informed decision without knowing what the candidate stands for, what his beliefs are, and what he plans to do if he becomes General Director. I have heard through the grapevine that the preselection committee is now deciding between two candidates. I know one of these candidates well; I understand his values and his leadership style. But I have many questions about the other candidate; although we have been acquainted for many years, I lack an overall sense of what he believes and how he leads. One week ago, on February 25, I was surprised when this man used social media (his personal blog and his Facebook timeline) to promote an article from the website of an organization named The Berean Call (http://www.thebereancall.org/). I applaud this man’s use of social media; I have no qualms about that whatsoever. But I had never heard of this organization, and so I decided to poke around their website to see what they are about. What I found was astonishing: pages and pages filled with extreme views that bear no resemblance to my beliefs or those I heard preached in my 30+ years of involvement with UBF. That organization, which claims to promote discernment, declares that the Roman Catholic Church is a cult; the theory of evolution is demonic; the field of psychology is evil; so-called Christian psychology is godless humanism; the Alpha Course is unbiblical; World Vision and Rick Warren are helping to build the kingdom of the Antichrist; and The Message paraphrase of the Bible is wicked. I am not exaggerating one iota here; if you doubt me, visit the website and see for yourself. This set off sirens of alarm. Do the views of this candidate for General Director resemble the views I read on this website? The link from his personal blog and his Facebook timeline suggest there is some agreement and tacit endorsement going on. I bring this to your attention not only because it is disturbing, but to illustrate how uncomfortable it is for me to be asked to vote in an election with no understanding of what I might be voting for or against.

Question 4: In the upcoming election for General Director, what does it mean to vote “Yes” or “No” when there is one candidate who has been preselected? And what information am I expected to use to make a rational choice in this matter?

Thank you for contacting me and asking these timely questions. I will send you my answers soon after I receive yours. If you cannot respond within one week, please explain why, and tell me when the answers will come.

Very sincerely,

Joseph L. Schafer

P.S. I have copied this response to members of the Ethics Committee, so that they may be aware of this open conversation.

Oh, my, how the times have changed; so much has happened since then.

Be forewarned: this installment will be different.

And rejoice, for today is your lucky day! You are the winner of Wonka’s Golden Ticket. Reach out your hand. With this V.I.P. pass, we’ll descend into belly of the beast, to the inner sanctum, that secretive world of UBF leadership that has never before seen the light of day.

And this time, I will be naming names. Yes, today you will hear things that I have not yet shared with anyone, except for my wife and perhaps our dog.

Why am I doing this? Because I want to. And because I read an inspiring message from Washington UBF. This part of the message stuck in my heart.

How should we carry out this ministry? Look at verse 2. “Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.” The gospel ministry is not like the worldly business or political campaign. It is a non-profit ministry. There should be no shameful secret agenda, no distortion, and no deception. Honesty, transparency, purity, and straight talk are the backbone of the gospel ministry.

I couldn’t agree more. Nothing promotes the gospel like honesty, transparency, purity and straight talk. Sit back, relax, and enjoy.

‘Twas the middle of November, the week before Thanksgiving. From my perspective, morale in had fallen to be at an all time low, but the leaders didn’t seem to have a clue. What concerned me most was the lack of communication.  In private, a few leaders were becoming a wee bit honest, dropping some lines that sounded sincere. But no one had a grip on what I saw happening all around. Paul Hong was cheerfully chirping about his chapter, with that fancy new building and all. But I knew from firsthand reports that not all was well in Toledo, and dark clouds were looming on the horizon. Jacob Lee was crowing about all that love they were feeling in Washington, how he was so buddy-buddy with the younger generation. But Sharon and I had been to the Harvest Festival a few weeks earlier. We had seen for ourselves how the young people in the audience (virtually all second gens, almost no natives in sight) were rolling their eyes. Many had snuck out of the lectures because they were bored or offended. The title of that Harvest Festival was “Empowering the Next Generation,” but the ones who enjoyed it were the oldest Korean missionaries. The program was designed to tell the elders’ stories, to affirm their values and life-choices. But once again, a report had gone up on the UBF website telling how wonderful that Harvest Festival was, how the next generation had been empowered and accepted their mission and true identity. In most of the chapters that I knew well, members couldn’t be honest with their leaders; there was no safe space for people to express what they truly thought and felt. Leaders and members who saw each other daily had entirely different perceptions of reality, as if they were living in parallel universes.

On my own, I had decided to contact more than fifty UBF members whom I believed I could trust. I had collected their answers to five open-ended questions about the state and trajectory of UBF. I synthesized my findings in this report. That project occupied two weeks of my life. I worked day and night to finish it quickly, because I wanted the report in the hands of UBF leaders before a senior staff retreat. Sharon can testify how hard I worked, even when it was probably a stupid thing to do at a time when I should have been taking care of my health, my career, my finances and my family.

Dear everyone: You can say whatever you like about why I did this. Call me proud, foolish, inexperienced, know-it-all, untrained, too big for my britches, full of typical Ivy League mentality, blah blah blah. Whatever negatives you may say about me, I can give you more. All of those things are absolutely true. Yes, I am the proudest of sinners. But with God as my witness, I say this to you now.

To the leaders of UBF: When I put together this report, I did it on my own time, of my own initiative, without getting paid, knowing that it would probably land me in trouble, yet I did it anyway because I loved you and because I cared about the future of our ministry. I did it because I imagined that, as pastors, you just might be interested in how you were perceived by your flock.

To the Americans who were/are in UBF: When I put together this report, I also did it for you, because I am one of you. I did it because I loved you and because I cared about the future of our ministry. I did it because I hoped that someday you would be allowed to become who you really are, the people that God created you to be, American disciples who live in the American context, free to break out of the hyper-Korean evangelical mold into which you had been so awkwardly forced.

To all  the Korean-American second-gens: When I put together this report, I also did it for you. I was not one of you, but I loved you. I hoped to convey to your parents and your leaders some of the things that you wanted to express but could not say directly. I did it because I hoped that UBF could really become a unique multicultural community where the work of the Holy Spirit had broken down boundaries,  where unity in diversity was not some farfetched goal but our daily common experience.

On that snowy day in November 2010, I drove up to Camp Wonderland, Wisconsin to attend the senior staff retreat. I had emailed my report to the senior staff members two days earlier, but had not yet received any replies. I shared a ride with a member of the senior staff, and the conversation was fascinating. He was frustrated with the way UBF had been going, sick and tired of all the power plays, petty politics, all the people who couldn’t be trusted. In that car, he opened up and shared two stories that I had never heard before.

The first story was about all the political maneuvering that took place during the first reform movement in America (1989-92). He said that Samuel Lee had come within a hair’s breadth of being ousted. At one point, even Paul Hong and Sarah Barry knew that Lee was out of control, and they tentatively agreed to side with the reformers. But when this man  decided to stand with Lee, the tide turned back and some would-be reformers flipped. Paul Hong read the writing on the wall; he flipped back to support Lee, and was rewarded for his loyalty by being appointed director of Toledo after James Kim was forced out.

The second story he told was of his experiences with Samuel Lee. A member of this man’s chapter claimed that his Sunday messages were almost as good as the messages of Lee. When Lee heard about this, he became very upset. He demanded to see copies of this man’s Sunday messages. Those copies were returned to him, with every paragraph marked up with red ink, and the man was forced to make hundreds of corrections under the guise of “improving his English.” Those corrections were completely unnecessary, because the manuscripts had already been checked and edited by an English major from that chapter. Even worse, this man was ordered to come to the Chicago center for message training every Monday. Those trips were very costly, taxing his health, his finances, his family and his ministry. He said that those trips almost killed him. But for some reason, he decided to do it anyway. Finally, he spoke of one American shepherd who stood at Samuel Lee’s side in Chicago, supervising and carrying out this abusive training. Years later, he asked that American shepherd, “Why did you do that to me? Didn’t your conscience bother you?” The American said nothing; he shrugged his shoulders and smiled. That American is still in a place of leadership and, as far as I know, has no intention of ever allowing these issues of abuse to be freely discussed or admitted.

As he told these tales, I was taken aback. The stories themselves were not surprising; I had seen the harsh training since I first came to UBF, and I vaguely knew of the political wrangling in the late 80’s and early 90’s which ousted some chapter directors. What surprised me was his willingness to tell me straight up.  As I listened to the stories, I began to wonder: Are we on the verge of something? Are we reaching a tipping point where leaders will finally open their mouths and speak of those dark things that must never be spoken?

If anyone is interested in finding out what happened during the reform movement of 1989-92, I suggest you go and visit this man. Take him out to dinner, order a bottle of wine, and he just might be willing to tell you everything. Five years ago, he couldn’t care less about the reputation of UBF, and as far as I know, that hasn’t changed.

My memories of that Wisconsin retreat are a bit hazy, but I will share what I can recall.

When I saw the schedule for the retreat, I became upset, because it was not going to be a retreat at all. Little time had been set aside for open group discussion. The program was filled with Bible study, business items and committee reports. Still I hoped and prayed that our time would be productive.

The group Bible study was led by Sarah Barry, and the passage was from 2 Chronicles 20. The people of Judah were facing a national crisis. A vast, three-nation army approached from the desert, ready to attack at any moment. King Jehoshaphat had no idea what to do. He called a national assembly, and standing there before the men, women and children of Judah, he cried out to the Lord: “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

As we studied this passage, I was stunned. Kings are not accustomed to showing ignorance or weakness. Even if they have no clue what they are doing, they want to project an air of strength and confidence, so that their followers stay with them and do not lose heart. Indeed, that was the leadership stance I was given by UBF: remain strong, keep choongshim, never stop marching, and when you are clueless, pretend that everything is going according to plan. That’s what I thought it meant to “have faith.” But in this passage, the top leader made himself vulnerable. He became a sitting duck, an easy target for a political or military coup. But when he stood in vulnerability before his nation, and together they all cried out to God, the Lord’s answer came through a prophet, and their deliverance that day was truly miraculous.

I found this passage so appropriate, the perfect metaphor for what was happening in UBF. Problems were mounting, morale was low, strength had run out, and the leaders had no clue. During that Bible study, I remember asking two questions.

My first question was, “What would it look like for the leaders of a Christian organization to actually do what Jehoshaphat did? What if we admitted to ourselves and our members that we have no good plans or answers for our problems? What if we all stood together helplessly before the Lord with our eyes firmly fixed on him, so that we might be open to his answers and his deliverance?”

When I asked that question, the room became still. I waited and got no response.

My second question came a bit later, and it was something like this. “One of the big items on our agenda is to decide what to do at the national staff conference three months from now. As of today, none of us has a plan. There are some big problems in our ministry. Our chapter directors are tired, morale is low, and many of you have been saying that we are burned out. I hope you all read that report I sent to you. Those issues are real; I didn’t make them up. Is it an accident that we are studying this passage today? Or might God be speaking to us through his word, asking us to do something courageous that we have never done before – to openly admit to our chapter directors that have no answers, and to stand together with them as equals before the Lord, repenting together and seeking direction and help from God alone?”

Once again, the room was silent. I knew that my question would make some uncomfortable, but I never imagined they wouldn’t even acknowledge the question.

The Bible study moved on.

That moment was for me a real eye opener. For a long time, I had known that UBF leaders were deeply flawed. But even in the worst of times, I had always sensed in them a stance of openness toward Scripture, a desire to treat the Bible as the word of God being spoken to them, and a willingness to obey what they were hearing. But at that moment, I felt a strange physical sensation. It was as though we had suddenly swung around on a hinge. Instead of looking into the face of God intending to do what he was asking, we now seemed turned away with our backs to the Lord, ignoring his voice and deliberately walking away. That was a feeling that I will never forget. It’s a feeling that I never want to feel again.

Little time was reserved for open discussion. At one point, we were able to talk for maybe an hour or so. I have a few memories of what went on. I remember Jim Rabchuk telling the story of how he had gotten burned out. The demands that UBF had placed on him (and many related demands that he had placed on himself) became overwhelming, and he was learning the necessity of saying “No.”

Jim also began to talk about some of the problems in his ministry.

As he was talking, he was interrupted by Jacob Lee. Jacob said (my paraphrase, but I believe it is accurate): “We can’t keep talking about all these problems. Of course, there are problems, we always have problems. We talk and talk and talk and there is never any solution. We cannot solve all our problems. We must move on from these problems and do the work of God.”

Jim got visibly upset. He shot back, “Missionary Jacob, that is ridiculous!”

I had never seen an American openly confront an older missionary like that, certainly not in the presence of other leaders. I was shocked, and yet I felt strangely comforted. “Good for him,” I thought. “Good. for. him.”

And James H. Kim made a passionate speech about spiritual disciplines. He had begun to read Peter Scazzero’s books on spiritual formation, and was learning the importance of contemplative prayer. He said (again a paraphrase): “Our American staff shepherds are all burned out. They have no time to think, no time to recharge. They are just doing, doing, doing every day like machines. That is not a Christian life. That is not the way to be a leader. Leaders must reflect, must stay in the presence of God. Leaders should meditate with times of deep contemplation!”

I was ready to stand up and applaud.

John Jun didn’t like what he was hearing. He yelled, “Time over! Time over! Time for lunch!”

Then James H. Kim shouted over him: “Each one of our staff shepherds MUST spend THREE HOURS EVERY DAY in quiet study and contemplation!”

My heart sank like a stone. That was the last thing our burned-out staff needed to hear. Three hours a day? I couldn’t contain myself, so I blurted: “Missionary James, you said ‘three hours a day.’ Is that instead of some things they are currently doing, or in addition to everything they already do?”

The discussion was over. It was time for lunch.

Here are a few more things I remember from that staff retreat.

After that exchange with James H. Kim, John Jun started to clamp down. At our next meeting, he brought out a call bell, one of those metal contraptions you see on the front desk of a hotel. When he thought someone was talking too much – which was after about 60 or 90 seconds – he would ring the bell and say, “Time over! Time over!” As he did this, some of the missionaries laughed. To me, this was not a laughing matter. We desperately needed to get real about things that truly mattered, and I didn’t care how long it took. But the funny thing is, at that time I didn’t get upset about the bell. I had lived in UBF-land so long that I was accustomed to that kind of treatment. Months later, when I told some friends what John Jun had done, their jaws dropped. They couldn’t believe that the leader of a Christian organization would do that in a room full of adults, shutting people up by ringing a bell. In retrospect, I see that this was outrageous. But at the time, it felt almost normal.

The so-called retreat shifted into all-business mode. Ron Ward discussed plans for a new CME (Continuing Missionary Education) institute. That 30-minute presentation was the longest three hours of my life. It droned on and on and on. Then Jacob Lee laid out his vision for a UBF school  for the education of children, teaching them all subjects (reading, writing, math, etc.) from a standpoint of mission, so that we could pass on UBF core values to the next generation. Of course, we all knew what was really happening: these leaders were angling for pots of money from the UBF treasury to fund their pet projects. To say we were bored would be an understatement. The next item was conference planning. Mark Vucekovich talked about the 2013 International Summer Bible Conference, and it was decided that we would hold it at IUP. When Mark asked questions, he got essentially no response. My strength had been sapped, and I sensed that others were feeling the same way. (Later, some confirmed to me that, yes, they were bored out of their skulls.)

The last major item on the agenda was the North American Staff Conference to be held three months later. No plans had made, no theme was proposed. I spoke up and said something like this: “In light of what we learned from our group Bible study, why don’t we do what Jehoshaphat did, admitting that we really don’t know what we are doing, and stand together in prayer before the Lord to seek help and renewal for our ministry.”

My suggestion wasn’t acknowledged. They fidgeted for a brief moment and then moved on.

After hearing complaints that we needed to talk, John Jun made a small concession. He allowed everyone in the room to speak in turn, saying whatever was on their minds, within a limit of two minutes. Thankfully, he did not ring his bell. I cannot recall anyone’s remarks, except for the elder Daniel Yang, who said something like this: “My main concern is that we have no spirit. In the old days we had great spirit, because we used to study the Bible every day, 365 days a year, on Christmas, on New Year, no exception. It is my opinion that we must go back to intensive Bible study 365 days a year, so that our spirit may be revived. You might think differently, but that is my opinion.”

When my turn came, this is what I said. This is an exact quote. I wrote it down so I wouldn’t stumble over my words, and I saved it on my computer.

As I reflect back upon my life, I see five people who helped to shape my Christian faith. First, my mother, who raised me and my twelve siblings by faith in God alone. Second, a Catholic priest who befriended me and prayed for me during my freshman year at MIT; it was through his influence that I read a Christian book and committed my life to Christ. Third, Mother Barry, from whom I learned to respect and interact with Scripture. Fourth, John Armstrong, whose writings deeply challenged my sectarianism and opened my mind and heart to interact with the Body of Christ beyond UBF. Fifth, my wife, who has taught me countless things that other people could not; through her I am experiencing the love of God in new and wonderful ways.

Please forgive me, but I cannot identify Dr. Lee as my spiritual father, nor can I see myself as the fruit of UBF. I have drawn much spiritual nourishment from UBF, but I would not be the person I am today without those other influences. This is why I will never be just a UBF man, and why I cannot get excited about dedicating the rest of my life to promoting UBF-specific values. To do so would deny my roots and my heritage.

In feeling this way, I am not alone. America was a Christian nation long before UBF missionaries arrived, and a “typical” North American person in UBF will have significant spiritual influences in his or her life outside of UBF. To strongly press the principles of UBF upon us, to force us to claim that as our spiritual heritage, is to divide us from ourselves and from one another.

On the last day of the retreat, three senior staff members excused themselves and left early, saying that they needed to get to the airport. Later I learned that at least one of them deliberately changed to an earlier flight, because he concluded the retreat was a waste of time.

And now, we turn to the question that prompted this article.

What happened after I wrote that report?

Brian guessed this:

I suppose the ubf echelon kicked you out of the Well, and marginalized you in various ways…but I will let you tell the story.

Yes, that did happen eventually, but those events unfolded over a couple of years.

Ben said this:

My short guess is that you were called aside, basically reprimanded, told to “keep you place,” “mind your own business,” and basically asked, “who the heck do you think you are?” Well, probably not in those exact words.

Something like that sort of happened. At the beginning of the retreat, John Jun was not aware of my report. The guy who managed his email hadn’t told him about it. At the retreat, someone urged Jun to look at my report, and that first night, he did. The next day, just as we were heading to lunch, he poked me on the arm and said, “A leader should be humble! A leader should be humble!”

I took one step backward so that he could no longer touch me, looked him in the eye and said, “A leader should be honest.”

He replied, “Okay,” and then we went to lunch.

Reactions from the senior staff were muted. A couple of them said, “Thank you for your report,” and that was it. During the next week, I got feedback from a few more.

Brian’s and Ben’s answers aren’t wrong, but no one nailed it.

The answer to “What happened?” is so predictable, so typical of happenings in UBF-land, that when you hear it, you’ll slap yourself and say, “Duh!”

So obvious that it’s invisible, like that nose in front of your face.

This is what happened after that report.

(Drum roll, please.)

Joe Schafer humbled himself.

That’s right. I did exactly as UBF trained me to do. I sucked it up. I decided that once again, I needed to trust my leaders, believing that they would do what was right in God’s time. So I decided to pray and wait some more. I would lie low, not make waves, and keep following the leaders to God-knows-where.

And I urged everyone else to do the same.

After getting survey responses  from dozens of members, I feared that hopes were building that change would be imminent. I knew that nothing would happen for some time, so I wrote a letter and emailed it to everyone who had answered my survey. My key verse for the letter was Ephesians 4:3:

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

I did not ask anyone to keep quiet. I asked them to approach their leaders humbly and prayerfully, not with a spirit of division or complaint, but in a manner that was gentle and constructive, realizing that people from different generations and cultures will see things differently.

If you don’t believe that I actually did this, see for yourself. The letter is right here.

If you hear anyone say that I stirred up trouble, print a copy of this letter and place it in their hands.

As I waited for UBF leaders to do something about these issues, I didn’t sit down and do nothing (as several know-nothings have suggested). In the months ahead, I continued to study the Bible and preach Sunday messages. I prayed for our ministry, especially for those who were unhappy. We entertained UBF guests at our home, including Paul and Sarah Hong, who stayed with us overnight. I wrote dozens of positive articles for UBFriends, monitoring the website day and night to interact with everyone who cared to comment. I read dozens of books on various topics, especially the theology of mission.

And Sharon and I enrolled in John Armstrong’s first cohort on missional ecumenism. At a time when we really could not afford it, we paid from our own family budget (not with ministry funds) the full registration fees for the year-long course, for all the books, and for round-trip travel and accommodation in Chicago. We didn’t do this to become know-it-alls. We did it because we needed to understand what Christian unity is about. We were longing for someone, anyone, to please teach us how to relate to other Christians in our community. Most of all, we desperately wanted to know what the gospel required us to do in response to our fellow believers in UBF who, as the weeks and months went by, seemed ever more distant and different from us.

And with that, dear brothers and sisters, I bid you do widzenia.

P.S. – Some of you might say that I’ve gone too far, that it was unethical and unChristian to reveal what happened at that retreat. If so, I suggest that you lodge a complaint with Washington UBF.  Then please note that, during the many years that I served on the senior staff, no one ever suggested to me that the proceedings were to be kept secret.  In fact, at that Wisconsin retreat, I specifically recall some of the members (I could be wrong, but I think it was Henry Park and perhaps Paul Hong) saying that they are completely open and transparent about these things, and when they return home after a senior staff meeting, they meet with their members and inform them of what happened. And no one never said I should spin the events to make UBF leaders look better than they are. So I have done precisely what they said, explaining what happened as I experienced it.

If you were there and would like to tell it from a different perspective, send us your article, and we’ll publish it right away.

“In my experience, leaders have refused to participate in discussions where they cannot control the rules of engagement, the range of allowable topics, or manage the ultimate outcome. They are willing to meet with you one on one, but I have found that counterproductive because in private they say things to pacify you but nothing comes of it, and when you leave the room they change their tune entirely. There needs to be witnesses present and some kind of accountability. Basically, I’ve found that they refuse to participate in discussions where they might lose face. Dialogue requires letting go of control and being willing to lose face, if necessary, for the sake of the gospel and for the sake of love. It feels scary and dangerous. I understand their predicament. But it is a risk that they must take.”

For the sake of love. I understand that UBF leaders will find the above paragraph very hard to read, because it is an indictment on them. But honestly, good leaders listen to anything “thrown at them,” if they truly want to be a “world class leader” like Jesus, who did have everything thrown at him!

Please listen. A leader who only wants to teach others, lord over others and control them, but not seriously dialogue with them or listen to them makes a poor leader. A Christian leader is ultimately never one who is appointed (by God or by people), but one who has earned the right to lead others through Christ-like love. I will state categorically that a leader who does not genuinely dialogue with or listen to his or her people will eventually lose them to someone who would listen to them. Isn’t this why so many people, including so many 2nd gen children of hardcore senior leaders, are continuing to leave UBF?

Here’s Charles’ comment:

“…it became too painful to stay in UBF, and much of my time in UBF was painful. It was painful to see a so-called church systematically abuse people in the name of shepherding, praise those who did so, and then vilify and ignore those who either left or spoke against the issues. It was painful to see the whole congregation be asked to pray for such and such UBF chapter to have a big conference with many attendees while knowing that that very chapter has hurt people. To see this done, with business as usual continuing, was painful and anger inducing. And then it happened to me too.

After leaving, I experienced the very things mentioned (on UBFriends). I realized how isolated my life had become. The feelings of deception, of embarrassment in becoming a self-absorbed fool for so long, of disappointment and betrayal, were all painful. But in the end I’m glad to have left and stood by my convictions with the support of my wife because despite the pains, it sure feels great to feel like I’m becoming human again. It has been simultaneously painful and difficult, and still exciting and wonderful.”

Eerie and chilling words. The chilling phrase in Charles’ words after being in UBF for 14 years is this: “And then it happened to me too.” What happened to Charles? In his words it was to be vilified and ignored when he tried to raise concerns and speak to senior leaders about them. He wanted a genuine heart to heart dialogue. But after being shut down multiple times all he could say is, “And then it happened to me too.” (This I believe is also what countless others have felt from the UBF hierarchy.) Gosh, these words are eerie and chilling!

Can we please have a dialogue? Joe’s contention in his words are that “leaders have refused to participate in discussions where they cannot control the rules of engagement, the range of allowable topics, or manage the ultimate outcome.” In brief, the UBF hierarchy does not really want to listen or have a dialogue, for what they want is primarily for you to listen to them telling you what to do. Will such a practice ever lead to a happy marriage if one spouse only wants the other spouse to listen to them and obey them? Will this lead to a happy father son dialogue and conversation?

Let me conclude with a few excellent words by Pope Francis about what prevents dialogue and about how to have a genuine dialogue with another:

“…we succumb to attitudes that do not permit us to dialogue: domination, not knowing how to listen, annoyance in our speech, preconceived judgments and so many others. Dialogue is born from a respectful attitude toward the other person, from a conviction that the other person has something good to say. It supposes that we can make room in our heart for their point of view, their opinion and their proposals. Dialogue entails a warm reception and not a preemptive condemnation. To dialogue, one must know how to lower the defenses, to open the doors of one’s home, and to offer warmth.” Pope Francis, On Heaven and Earth: Pope Francis on Faith, Family and the Church in the 21st Century.

According to Pope Frances this is what a good UBF leader should do:

1. Don’t make preconceived judgments and preemptive condemnations against those who disagree with you and challenge your decisions.
2. Listen from your heart and listen empathetically to those hurt by UBF.
3. Respect those who critique UBF.
4. Believe that those who critique UBF have something good to say.
5. Make room in your heart for those who bring up issues that you don’t like to hear.
6. Have a warm reception in your heart toward those who leave UBF, just as you will have a warm reception to your children if they leave UBF.

Can we have a genuine heart to heart dialogue in UBF?

There are plenty of places where we can worship freely. There are many churches in our town, and of course they would be thrilled to have new members (especially if you are willing to work hard and support them financially). But it’s hard to find a church that is truly home. It’s a huge adjustment to go from being a pastor of your own church where you ran things for 20 years to being just a new person who has walked in the door with no special status or title or responsibilities. That is a huge shock.

And some of the things we found problematic about ubf (for example, the ways that they approach Scripture, shallow understandings of the gospel, problematic methods of evangelism and discipleship, overbearing pastoral leadership) we also found in varying degrees in other evangelical churches. We have become extra-sensitive to these things (some would say extra critical) because of our experiences with ubf; we can see and smell certain problems from a mile away. And after getting burned by ubf leaders its just hard to learn to trust people again.

But this process has also been incredibly healthy and purifying. And it has really widened our understanding of what the true church is and where real Christians are to be found. We have found Jesus alive and at work in churches that we used to think were too formal, too ritualistic, too liberal, full of Sunday Christians / cultural Christians and so on. We have been challenged at every level to overcome our own pride, self importance, closed mindedness, prejudice and lack of love to see Jesus Christ living in every part of his diverse Body.

A huge shock. What most resonated with me is this: “It’s a huge adjustment to go from being a pastor of your own church where you ran things for 20 years to being just a new person who has walked in the door with no special status or title or responsibilities. That is a huge shock.”

One reason I couldn’t leave UBF. Even though I had seriously considered leaving, this sentiment so well expressed by Joe was one significant reason why it was just too painful for me to leave. For over a quarter of a century I had been a top leader in UBF: Chicago Board of Elders, fellowship leader of the largest fellowship at the Chicago UBF HQ, lay UBF staff, UIC leader, overseer of YDC (now the Well), and many throughout the UBF world knew me, or heard of my name, or heard of “how exemplary” I am, and how I am one of Samuel Lee’s most fruitful disciples. So to go from this to being a virtual nobody in a new church was just plain tough. I highly commend and respect Joe and countless others who have moved on from UBF after 10 to 20 to 30 years of devoted and dedicated service. Joe and many others did what I personally could not do. Of course, there were also many other reasons why I also felt very strongly compelled to stay in UBF “forever,” which I will not delve into here.

Horrible things some leaders say of those who leave UBF. I wish some of our older leaders would realize just how painful it is for anyone to leave UBF after investing decades of the prime of their lives to UBF. The things I have personally heard from some leaders commenting on people who leave UBF is downright sick and appalling. Yet, I can’t be too hard on them, because sadly and with much brokenness of heart, I said exact similar horrible things myself for over 20 years whenever someone left UBF.

Many who leave UBF did so after giving tens of thousands of $$ to UBF. I hope that the UBF hierarchy would share corporate sorrow over those who leave UBF, instead of speaking ill and speaking disparagingly and speaking nonsense of anyone who leaves. We speak of “shepherd heart” as though it is UBF’s second nature. I hope that all UBF leaders would have a “shepherd heart” for those like Joe and countless others. (I’m not saying that they need or want our sorrow and sympathy.) Yes, they may have moved on from UBF. But this was after years and decades of fully giving themselves and countless thousands and tens and hundreds of thousands in tithes to UBF, which surely contribute to our 13 million plus USD in savings and investments just in central UBF, not counting the hundreds of thousands if not millions more in local UBF chapters throughout the world. Please, please, please have a “shepherd heart” for those who have left UBF.

I personally share and feel the pain of almost everyone who has left UBF. I can feel their pain in their articles and comments whether it is on Facebook or UBFriends, as well as in emails and phone calls and face to face conversations.

A deeply rooted egocentricity. What causes a church to thrive is a culture of love. Speaking ill of those who leave UBF promotes anything but a culture of love. Not having a “shepherd heart” for those who move on from UBF exposes a deep ego driven selfishness whose primary concern is to show off to the world just how great UBF is (and how terrible are those who leave UBF). Even 2nd gens and children born in such an ego driven culture of five decades have been leaving for other churches.

Love one another, love your neighbor as yourself, love your enemy surely includes loving those who have left and moved on from UBF.

Will you share your pain of leaving UBF? To those still in UBF do you feel the pain of our brothers and sisters who have moved on from UBF? Or are you just upset that they left or that their public (and private) comments are upsetting and uncomfortable to you?

On “the UBF side,” there are countless reports over five decades of just how wonderful UBF is and how much UBF missionaries gave up their beloved homeland and family in order to suffer and sacrifice endlessly for world campus mission sparing no cost. But the UBF side does not mention anything bad or any wrongdoing. They also usually have much anger, displeasure and a defensive and offensive posture whenever anything bad is brought up regarding UBF.

On the other side–“the side hurt or abused by UBF”–there are detailed explanations as to just how bad, dishonest, abusive, elitist, and/or controlling UBF has been throughout the world. But understandably they have difficulty mentioning the good of UBF because of having been lorded over for decades, oppressed and subjugated by the foreign missionary culture, gossiped about, caricatured, and spoken ill of by some UBF leader who often denies wrongdoing or claims misunderstandng or miscommunication if ever directly confronted.

Sadly, but understandably, both sides have had much difficulty to genuinely listen to and empathize with “the other side,” since both sides are often deeply hurt and also deeply entrenched on their own side. The hurt seems to come primarily from feeling betrayed (the UBF side) or feeling taken advantage of–often for decades (the other side).

Brian, however, in announcing his upcoming new ventures and adventures, thanks UBF for three things in his last post:

1. for 15,000+ hours of reading and sharing about the Bible,
2. for his wife, and
3. for UBF people being there for him when his dad passed away in 1989.

Bad. Those who have read UBFriends are likely familiar with “the bad of UBF” that has been written and commented on by numerous persons on numerous occasions from numerous countries and continents over the last four years. Notably the issues are primarily related to authoritarianism, spiritual abuse and control in the name of shepherding and “spiritual order,” lack of transparency, dishonesty (basically lying), unhealthy and oppressive dependent relationships, no accountability of leaders, “marriage by faith” used as a political tool to benefit one’s own ministry and to control and “train” singles (but not second gens of long-standing leaders and missionaries — according to some), etc.

Good. Yes, the bad is unpleasant to state and read, especially by the UBF side. What about the good of UBF? I have personally experienced them, which I know without a doubt is entirely the hand of God that choose to bless me through UBF, amid the bad.

My mystical conversion happened after I began 1:1 Bible study in 1980 with a missionary doctor in Chicago. I became a Christian after just 2 lessons of Genesis Bible study.

I married the best woman by being introduced to her by Samuel Lee 6 months after I began Bible study and joined UBF. I married her 4 months later. I know without a doubt that if not for UBF I would not be married.

A very happy UBF chapter. Though I never thought of being a preacher or starting a church, by God’s grace through a series of interesting events, God enabled me to be both a preacher and start a church in my fifth decade of life, which is quite unusual. I explained how West Loop UBF began in 2008. We became a very happy UBF church. This is a synopsis of our liberating West Loop experience from 2008 to 2014.

Oops. As I wrote this, I suddenly remembered that I had previously written something similar: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of UBF. Sorry for rehashing some similar points.

Is it hard to share both the good and bad of UBF? Is it easier to share either just the good or just the bad?

The thought is merely this: thank you. Thank you ubf and my shepherds for the following three things. Your ministry needs big-time help, to be sure, and my recovery from undue religious influence is not over. But I have reached the point where I can say thank you and leave it at that.

15,000+ hours

I deeply appreciate the time spent reading, discussing and sharing about the bible. That is not a lifestyle for everyone, but I enjoyed that aspect.

A suitable helper

I do not condone faith-arranged-marriage, and have much work to do now that my wife and I realized we are actually married after 20 years, but I do highly appreciate the suitable helper teaching from Genesis. This is a correct exegesis of those passages as far as I am concerned.

Being there in tragedy

My father’s passing away in 1989 was tragic. I am glad many people at ubf were there for me.

Grace and peace,
BrianK.

As I was saying then. When I was asked by Dr. Ben Toh if I wanted to maybe marry someone from the Philippines I was so eager to marry I just said yes. After all that was my main goal all along for being in UBF.

Actually…that’s the story I had told to me sometime later, and I am sure is not an isolated bit of gossip. It is very far from the truth, but what they say about me makes little difference. Such a story is deeply hurting to me as it denies that I struggled so hard against the very accusation. Truth is, as they say- not something you could have guessed. My goal will not to defend any of those stories beyond giving a demonstrative account and letting the audience decide for itself. So then…

When I was asked by Dr. Ben Toh if I wanted to maybe marry someone from the Philippines I told him no. More specifically I said I didn’t want to marry and even if I wanted to go to the Philippines I didn’t have money to go there. While the question was tactfully asked, I had been fighting against marriage by faith for so long I wasn’t about to be taken in by someone whom I barely knew. I was well aware of Dr. Ben’s previous “shepherd” life and I was unsure of what and how he viewed marriage by faith. I had read that many shepherds gain prestige or even glory from marrying native leaders, so if Dr. Ben had not changed, I then expected him to try to convince me. If Dr. Ben was like the others, I reasoned he would pay for me to go there or at least say that there are happily married Americans in UBF to Filipinas, or maybe even something about how Filipinos were not like Koreans. To my surprise he didn’t do any of that. In fact his response was further proof that he had changed from his old days of telling people to threaten divorce to keep them in UBF. He said that it wouldn’t be marriage, that you could just meet someone and date her or whatever. There was no commitment to him, no promise of anything. Furthermore, he said since I didn’t have enough money he could just pass my email along and we would pray. No heavy handed deception, no mention of Genesis 24. It didn’t seem uncommon from something I would tell a good friend if he was looking for someone to date.

Then something remarkable happened. I had met someone from the Philippines UBF on Facebook. She was one of the student leaders in the Philippines. She invited me for Easter, with no knowledge of the prior conversation with Dr. Ben. Again, I thanked her but told her that I didn’t have money. Then that week I received a rather large income tax return. Apparently my mother had failed to claim me as a depended (she could have and I expected her to) which made my tax return exactly enough for a plane flight for Easter. But still problems existed. I did not have enough time off to make such a trip, but as God would have it I discovered I had more time that I thought, additionally I had Good Friday off school, and moreover I would lose all my time off at the end of April. That meant I had to use it sometime in April. But even then I had promised my pastor that I would go with him to Europe for the conference in the fall. That Friday he asked me if I was still going, I said yes and asked the price of the plane ticket. To my surprise he was willing to pay half my ticket amount. The rest is history. I flew to the Philippines and met the woman I am now engaged to. To be clear, I was not engaged there, or even to the woman who invited me.

As far as fiancé is concerned, I could never have expected someone better. I was worried about certain strange legalisms and such from her, but the whole chapter there seemed immune to it. I suspect it’s all the grace. She is quite wonderful and I could never have imagined anyone better. She is kind, compassionate, and loves everyone. She is selfless, supportive, and smart.

Although I did not propose, promise marriage, or even state we were dating- people back home in UBF by and large treated it like I was everything but married. The reactions were extremely varied. My friends thought it was border line insane, but since they are my friends they just expect stuff like this from me. My family was hesitant at first, but after meeting her they loved her and thought it was good for me to marry her. For me this was perhaps most important, your family knows you better than anyone and if they disapprove of a spouse there is usually a very good reason. More than a few UBF missionaries and leaders were excited. More than a few UBF missionaries were apathetic, they ignored it. One missionary in particular became infuriated. She told me that my marriage would not last with her because it wasn’t from “God”. I had talked a lot with this missionary about her experience and knew that her family had rejected her marriage by faith decades earlier. When I asked how this case was different from hers she said that I didn’t have the guidance of Godly people. She then never spoke to me either in person or on Facebook and condemned Dr. Ben Toh’s “attempt to shepherd you”. This reaction was unique to her and in stark contrast to my chapter which more or less accepted it and became very excited. It took about a month for everyone to get used to it. My roommate gave little direct response, but he expressed grumblings not unlike Mat 20:9-16 on a few occasions.

I am not sure what is to be taken away from this story. God truly works despite barriers and issues. I am so thankful for what God has done in my life and I cannot wait to start the next chapter of my life as a married man.

Accepted!

Today I received word that I am accepted into the next Reformation Project cohort. It felt so good–too good. I am so excited and so happy! This means I have to start going to church and reading a ton of material, but I am so ready to get going on this. So I will begin attending our family’s local Baptist church this Sunday.

I owe a huge thank you to those who sent in recommendation letters for me! Thank you so much for believing in me regardless of our doctrinal differences. This makes three cohorts in a row for me. I really enjoy this cohort style of learning and growing in faith.

Vantage Point 3 Cohort

In 2013 I attended Grace Community’s leadership cohort in Detroit, MI. This utilized the Vantage Point 3 “The Journey” material and was excellent. I had a personal encounter with the Triune God and found my authentic self narrative. Here is  a link to the program my wife and I participated in:  http://vantagepoint3.org/our-processes/the-journey/

ACT3 Cohort

In 2014 I attended John Armstrong’s ACT3 Cohort in Chicago, IL. This was an amazing learning experience, and one that changed me forever. I gained respect for theology and connected more with historic, orthodox Christianity. The reading material was very good and deeply impacted all of my own book writing. This cohort inspired me to be an author. It was so exciting to spend time with the likes of John and his friends such as George Koch. I loved speaking with James Danaher as well. I learned that accepting a person is not the same as accepting their doctrine. There is much value in relational unity and staying in the conversation. Here is a link to the ACT3 program:  http://www.act3network.com/cohorts/

Reformation Leadership Cohort

In 2015 I will be attending the Reformation Project cohort in Washington DC. I have already made new contacts and new friends through the application process. I am really excited about the next 4 months, culminating in a four day conference in our nation’s capital. Here is a link to Matthew Vine’s cohort:  http://www.reformationproject.org/conferences/apply

Final Thoughts

We know we are forgiven in Christ. Do we also know we are accepted in Christ? Do we show grace but withhold acceptance? Do you have someone in your life who accepts you completely? Do you accept other people completely? How can we better see that love resolves the paradox of accepting my self–my true, authentic, glorious, ugly, crazy, messy, wonderful self? What do the Holy Scriptures teach about acceptance?

When I first discovered about marriage by faith I was in shock. For those who are new readers marriage by faith typically works like this. Your personal mentor, usually referred to as a shepherd, decides you are ready to marry. He asks you if you are ready to marry. If you say no he waits and prays. He might ask you from time to time. But eventually once you say yes he picks someone from UBF and puts the two of you together. You are encouraged to make a choice quickly for God, and once that happens you marry in a short period of time. Your marriage from the start is all about honoring God, which means you are expected to become a missionary, pastor, or personal shepherd yourself. This is the mission of marriage as explained by most UBF people.

All of this seems tame but as I read about this topic and questioned it more it made me uneasy. It is a bad thing to feel uneasy about your marriage, since as I have mentioned it is so important. Here are the things I was uneasy about after reading nearly everything on the internet about the topic, and after speaking with dozens of people all around the world who were married by faith. I am not saying these always happen, but I read about it enough for me to become very concerned about marriage by faith.

• The pastor, director, or shepherd gets between the couple if it is seen as being in the interest of the UBF chapter.
• The pastor, director, or shepherd picks a person who is very loyal to UBF to marry someone who is not so loyal, and uses to loyal member to keep the not so loyal member in the chapter.
• Children are seen as being secondary to world mission and are treated as such. Reports of children being left in rooms alone while the parents were in a prayer meeting were common.
• Pastors, directors, shepherds not sharing to one of the to-be-married people very critical information that someone being arranged married ought to know such as mental illness, homosexual tendencies, stds, etc.
• The families of the arranged parties being very nearly the last thought. Reports of families pushed aside.
• Extremely sudden marriages after engagement.
• Cancelled marriages when one party did not show enough loyalty. In at least one case a kidnapping of one of a bride to be.
• A coercive effort to stop any dating because marriage by faith is the best way to marry.
• A contrived argument based on an Old Testament narrative that because Isaac married Rebekah in the way he did, we should also; while in truth the practice is an Asian tradition being held up with a flimsy theological backing.
• Dishonesty about what marriage by faith is, how it happens, and why it exists.

I cannot tell you how much I wanted to ignore these things. I really hated dating, and I really saw that the women who were married in UBF were Godly and loved Jesus. I really cannot impress that enough here. The women in UBF are nearly all kind, gracious, loving, and gentle. I had always deeply feared that I would not find someone. Most of my teenage years were spent praying for someone who would love me one day. Even when I was dating as a high school I had marriage on my mind. I intentionally did not date anyone my last two years of high school because I knew we could never marry if we went to different colleges. So for me I wanted to accept Marriage by Faith, but even as I tried to turn a blind eye to all the problems; the one that kept haunting me was how my bible studies kept trying to enforce it. The argument to marry by faith came up again and again where I felt like it didn’t belong. And in my heart I just could not accept such a lie masquerading as truth. At some point my questions became such that I was actually accused of jealously of my roommate. At this point I swore off the practice all together. I told people I wanted to be celibate. I was laughed at. I told people I didn’t want to marry now.  I thought I would give it more time. Better that I say “no” then “yes” than “yes” then “no” was my thought. After being held at gun point by a student I knew I couldn’t go back to my high school, but I needed a job. South Korea had been an option the summer before. I was praying for God’s direction. I knew what going to South Korea would mean and I was told that “God” would pick someone for me to marry if I went there. I was so conflicted as to what to do. I needed a job more than anything and Korea was a sure thing. But marriage? If I talked to missionaries they wouldn’t understand, if I talked to my friends they wouldn’t understand. In my heart of hearts I wanted to marry but every part of me screamed that this was just so wrong. I had nightmares about it. “You can’t be forced to do anything.” Is what I thought, but then I wondered how much self-control I could have after meeting a kind, wonderful, person who loved God. Would I really be strong enough to turn her down? It was consuming all my time. I was reading everything I could, just hoping that I could find something that would let me accept it and would ease my mind. But the more I read the worse it got. I started fearing that someone would be suddenly be introduced, and that I would be so stricken that I lost my sense of reason. I was at a cross road. It was the greatest struggle of my adult life, and it was a struggle I held in secret. I pleaded with God. If this is really your will let that be done I prayed. At the last minute I applied to graduate school last. I did not expect to get in since my grades were not good. God saves and I was accepted to graduate school. I knew in graduate school I would not be bothered by the marriage question. My chapter had had other graduate students and they were always so busy that the missionaries respected their study and did not often bring up the marriage topic. I had been in conversation with a certain Dr. Benjamin Toh, whom I met through this blog. I told him excitedly “At least they won’t talk about marriage anymore.” And his reply was something that changed my life: “Do you want to be married?…”

Next time I will discuss how God answered me.

Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives

“I then embarked on an amazing journey of recovery from the controlling, guilt-ridden, shame-soaked life we had lived in UBF. I was done with the holy soldier façade. This journey was not so different from the journey of Pi in the movie “Life of Pi” or Truman in the movie “The Truman Show” or the blind girl in the M. Night Shyamalan movie “The Village”. In fact I began watching many movies, especially children’s movies, because I found so many connections with the characters in the movies, such as Tangled. I felt I was Repunzel being set free from her castle tower! Finally I was at peace.

It would take a whole other narrative to tell this journey. So I will just point out some highlights. The journey actually began when I watched Mel Gibson’s movie “The Passion” in 2010. Through this, the gospel of Jesus was re-ignited in my soul. I realized that I had believed and preached an upside down, flawed gospel in UBF. I officially resigned from UBF in protest on July 4th, 2011. I chose that day specifically. It was my independence day. I began blogging profusely about my journey, on priestlynation.com, declaring my freedom from UBF and exposing the problems I saw. I tried not to fall into the trap of treating UBF people poorly, but at times I just needed to vent. I had kept silent so many times, and so my critical voice exploded on my blogs.” pg. 83

Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives

“Recalling the multitude of UBF entanglements (and there are many hundreds more) has been a difficult task because I just want to forget it all. It is embarrassing to realize how much I put up with. But it is also good and liberating to realize how free I am now! No longer do I need to put up with any UBF entanglements or authority.

So what was good about all those years in UBF? My wife and I had to first come to terms with our arranged marriage. Was this good? Is our marriage valid? We both agreed—yes our marriage is before God and is good and valid. The goodness I see in my 24 years of UBFism is that I weaved a cocoon around my life. And that cocoon became the housing for my transformational new life. But what was this cocoon exactly?

As I wrote this chapter I discovered something unexpected. Why did I stay 24 years at UBF if the spiritual abuse was rampant? The best answer may be that I was seeking glory and fame. The cocoon I wove around myself (with the help of UBF shepherds weaving it for me at times) could be called a cocoon of self-glorification. I wanted to be famous. I wanted attention. I wanted to be noticed. I believed the promises that convinced me to join UBF in the first place: your name will be great! You will be a world-class leader! My vision is large and my appetite for self-glory is huge. Yes there was no perceived way out of UBF, but as my grandmother pointed out, I did not want a way out. I wanted glory.

Ironically, I would eventually meet the fate of all self-glory seekers: infamy. I am now the infamous detractor and vocal critic of UBF ministry. Realizing all these things has brought much goodness and peace to my mind. At least I am starting to understand what happened.” pg 73

Unexpected Christianity: The Penguin Narratives

“I return now to that coffee shop meeting in Ann Arbor, with my friend from Toledo UBF. He was one of the leaders there. I hadn’t seen him or other members of Toledo UBF for many years, since we had moved from Toledo to Detroit. My friend was normally the one who would lighten up any situation with his dry sense of humor or intriguing perspectives. But now, the frustration on my friend’s face was real. How could this be? What would cause my Christian friend to be so exasperated? The truth was that I felt just as exasperated. I was still struggling with the growing disconnect between my supposed biblical worldview and the reality happening around me. I was still pondering that Christmas letter from Sarah, wondering how I could display integrity. My friend and I shared our various struggles. We both were wavering about whether we would attend the upcoming UBF conference. My friend’s wife had already declared she would not attend, due to the issues she saw in the ministry.

This decision was problematic. No one in the UBF ministry decided not to attend a UBF conference. Attendance was not explicitly mandatory, but always the expectation was “You want to please Jesus, don’t you?” As if the guilt wasn’t motivation enough to enforce attendance, the consequences of deciding not to attend a conference were painfully inconvenient: you would be labeled as rebellious; you might be removed from some of your duties; you might be given more duties as training to obey; and you likely would be mentioned in the next Sunday message as an example of losing faith. I had seen it many times. The UBF community would turn against its own; shaming and shunning the one perceived to be weak in faith for not participating actively in the UBF mission. My friend now wondered what would happen to his family if he attended the conference and his wife did not. Our UBF worldview was cracking. In the end, we both decided the best course of action would be that we would attend the 2011 Easter conference, hosted by Toledo UBF, and face the consequences.

I went to this conference with a mission of my own. I wanted to find out why several friends at Toledo UBF, like my friend at the Ann Arbor coffee shop, had been reaching out to me and sharing their struggles with me. I began to wonder, is there no Christian pastor in Toledo UBF? Is there no one there who could be trusted to speak openly with? So I went to this UBF conference with my family. And I decided test the waters, to ask questions and find out what was going on.” pg. 18

Living with my head in the clouds. Last year I shared how West Loop (WL) UBF began in 2008. This is a follow up random, limited and selective reflection of our happy and eventful 6 year story and journey as a church. It mainly explains how my ideological perspectives changed. It is “heady” and not practical. As I’ve often told my wife, “Sorry that I live with my head in the clouds. Therefore, your feet has to be on the ground.” I hope this does not sound bad for her!

A theme for each year. For the last few years, as the primary preaching pastor, I loosely choose a particular theme for each year at WL:

• the year of the Gospel (1 Cor 15:1-4), a matter of prime importance.
• the year of Grace (Ac 20:24): Paul’s only aim was to testify to the gospel of God’s grace.
• the year of Sanctification (Phil 2:12b)–not by human effort but primarily by the grace of God (Phil 2:13);
• the year of the whole counsel of God (Ac 20:27), also translated as the whole will, plan, and purpose of God.
• the year of Remembrance (Dt 15:15a; 24:18; 8:2-3), to prompt us to love God (Dt 6:5) and to act and live accordingly (Dt 10:12-13; 30:19-20).
• For 2015: the year of Faith (Rom 1:17), knowing that it is only by grace that one comes to faith (Eph 2:8-9).

All these themes are rooted and grounded in the gospel–the only power for real authentic transformation and change that happens inside out (Rom 1:16). But Christians are often scared of grace, preferring instead to be punitive and retributive. We incline to giving and treating people as we think their sins deserve. We mistake grace for antinomianism, which was what Paul was accused of by the Bible legalists (Rom 6:1, 15). We think grace leads to lawlessness and licentiousness. This may happen. But withholding grace is never the solution. In fact, when grace is lacking, any church invariably becomes moralistic, legalistic, rigid and inflexible. Insufficient grace also inclines toward lacking the generosity, gentleness and graciousness toward others outside the church, and even in the church.

Changing how I taught Genesis. After teaching Genesis 100s of times for over a quarter of a century, I asked, What is the point of Genesis? Is it “live a life of mission”? Or “be a father of faith like Abraham”? Or “Marry by faith like Isaac and Rebekah”? I think not. It is by the grace of God that God chose our forefathers (and us), in spite of themselves. In 2011 I preached through most of Genesis by focusing on God’s limitless grace extended to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Joseph.

What did Jesus say the Scriptures are about? When I first noticed it, I was surprised to read that Jesus said that the OT Scriptures are about him (Jn 5:39, 46; Lk 24:27, 44). In Acts, both Peter and Paul said the same thing: the OT is about Jesus (Ac 10:43; 18:28). It impressed me that the Bible is NOT primarily a book about proper morals and proper religious behavior, but primarily about Jesus. As a result, I shifted my emphasis from imperatives (commands) to indicatives (grace), from “you love others” to “God loves you” (1 Jn 4:19), from “you live a life of mission” to “Jesus fulfilled his mission for you” (Jn 19:30). Only the latter, the gospel, leads to true transformation (2 Cor 3:18; 4:6). I think I have the support from both Martin Luther and Pope Francis!

Overcoming the iron law of paternalism, patriarchy and primogeniture. Sorry for these rather unfamiliar words. (Google each word.) But they are important because every culture, society and church naturally follows the unbreakable law of these “3 P’s.” Loosely, it means that you follow the chain of command and the norms of society (or the church), whereby the older and the senior is ALWAYS favored above the younger and the junior. But interestingly God’s grace does not follow such “human rules and traditions.” In fact, God, more often than not, breaks such unbreakable human rules and laws by choosing and extending favor to the younger over the older. For instance, in every case, God chose:

• Abel the younger instead of Cain the older.
• Isaac the younger instead of Ishmael the older.
• Jacob the younger instead of Esau the older.
• Joseph the 11th of Jacob’s sons, bypassing 10 older sons.
• Ephraim the younger son of Joseph instead of Manasseh the older son.
• Moses, the youngest one in his family.
• David, the youngest of the 8 sons of Jesse.
• Young fresh disciples (Mk 1:17), rather than old tired Pharisees and boring religious leaders.
• Young Timothy (1 Tim 4:12), rather than the older elders at Ephesus.

What does this mean and how does it apply practically? I needed to unlearn and re-learn what I had previously practiced by honoring and favoring younger people as much as I had honored older people. Under Samuel Lee’s 40 year leadership, everyone in UBF honored him more than everyone else. But by understanding how God does not follow man’s ways of paternalism, patriarchy and primogeniture, I made an intentional internal decision to honor and favor younger people, just as much as I had honored Lee for the last 22 years of his life in Chicago UBF. How would I do this? I encouraged everyone at West Loop to do whatever they wished, or to take any initiative, without asking my permission or first getting approval or clearance from me. Why? Because I trusted them as my expression of trusting God. Because I wish to respect and welcome their initiatives and creative ideas that are different (and better!) than mine.

No more fear of man. A few years ago Prov 29:25 literally changed the way I viewed, perceived and responded to people in authority. Just as I feared and honored Lee, I also feared every older person and leader in UBF. The practical result of this was that I lived before the person I feared, rather than living in the fear of God (Prov 1:7; 9:10). I lived to please the person I feared (Jn 5:43-44), rather than pleasing God (Jn 8:29). This was a miserable way to live. What a tremendous freedom and liberation it was to no longer live in the fear of any man!

No one should fear me or anyone else. Practically, I prayed that WL may be a safe place, where no one would fear me (or anyone else), just because I am an older longstanding leader in the church. If anyone feared me, they will act and pretend and not speak up openly and honestly, for fear of retaliation or repercussion from me. So I chose to welcome critiques from anyone regarding my words, decisions, actions, sermons and leadership. It is sometimes jarring and humbling when some young person says to me, “How can you say such a thing in your sermon!” But I thank God that our WL community is free and unafraid to speak up. One of my catchphrases is, “Please stab me in the front!”

Highly autonomous

If you say NO, it’s DONE. To put it bluntly I might even declare–at least to myself, but not to others (I don’t want to come across as being disrespectful or uncaring or rude!)–that I could care less whether or not others like, dislike, approve or disapprove of me. In fact, I am highly motivated and encouraged to do the very opposite of what others desire or expect of me. Thus, I often tell others with a big warm cheeky smile, “If you tell me NO, it’s DONE! If you say Stop, I Go.” So, my wife has learned to use reverse psychology on me. What a wise woman she is!

A glaring blind spot? Maybe by writing this post, I might be completely refuting what I am claiming above: That I am actually quite bothered by the opinion of others, yet insisting that I am not! Perhaps so, since we all likely have glaring blind spots and glowingly positive yet rather inaccurate assessment of our true selves.

Yes and No. So am I bothered or not by the opinion of others? The honest answer is Yes and No. Yes, in the sense that all people, young and old, want to be loved and accepted and appreciated by others. At the same time, No, because I’m still going to do what I believe is right, regardless of others. The strongest single major practical restraint upon my life is whether or not it negatively affects my wife to an inordinate degree. I believe that a happy wife is a happy life. (I’m proud that I figured this out.) As a Christian, I also want to weigh my conscience based on Scripture, in particular whether or not it expresses love for God and others or not.

Spoken to others but not to me. Over the last few years, several older UBF leaders have said to others but not to me personally, “I don’t trust Dr. Ben.” Since they are older senior leaders, their opinion obviously carries weight and therefore it influences the opinion of others in UBF toward me, especially those who do not know me. For years, I simply ignored these comments, since it was not spoken to me in person, but only to others. Furthermore, my value, validation and vindication comes from God, not people. Most importantly, my life will go on in the goodness, grace and generosity of God’s overflowing abundance, regardless of their opinion of me. So why am I blogging about this?

Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

Reconciliation. It might surprise some UBFers that the gist and thrust of the entire Bible is reconciliation. Our mission should primarily be for reconciliation, not church growth. Our discipleship should be for reconciliation, not making them Bible teachers. In my opinion, if any church fails in reconciliation, it has failed as a church, regardless of how many disciples they may raise or claim to raise.

Uncomfortable and messy. So, yes, I wish to seek reconciliation with anyone and everyone who does not trust me. I have made some private attempts at actively seeking reconciliation. God willing, I will continue to seek reconciliation, as uncomfortable and messy as this might entail.

Why don’t people trust me? These again are things I heard others say in my absence, which then are relayed to me through the grapevine. I am: bashing UBF, slamming my shepherd (Samuel Lee), tearing down UBF, ungrateful, unsupportive and jealous of UBF leaders, causing Bible students to leave UBF, not training anyone, controlling everyone at West Loop, not studying the Bible but only reading books, teaching grace but not truth, proud, rebellious, childish, immature and untrained, because Samuel Lee only loved me but never trained me!

No wonder, people don’t trust me. I might have some difficulty trusting such a person as well! Nonetheless, I wish to actively seek reconciliation, believing that it pleases and glorifies God.

Sorry for another rambling blog, which is actually all of my blogs! Sorry if this is excessively introspective. As always, I’d love to hear your take and angle on my rambling.

From 1980 (when I became a Christian and joined Chicago UBF) to 2002 (when Lee died), I witnessed firsthand what Lee said and taught. For the last 22 years of his life I listened to Lee’s preaching in Chicago UBF, and heard his prayer topics and announcements every week. He would be the final word at the Mon fellowship leader’s meeting, the Tue elder’s meeting, the Fri student leader’s meeting, on Sat when we met for prayer for the Sunday worship service, and also on Sun after the sermon.

There have been many negative accounts about Lee (which are credible accounts from credible people). But there are also Lee’s positive teachings, which I regard as the gist of his primary teachings and main emphasis for 22 years under his leadership. Many might insist that he did not practice what he preached. Nonetheless, this is what he said and emphasized repeatedly for the last 22 years of his life.

Humility. Lee said emphatically that humility is the first attribute of leadership. He would be even far more dramatic by saying, “The first attribute of leadership is humility. The second attribute of leadership is humility. The third attribute of leadership is humility.” He said this and similar statements regarding humility countless times on countless occasions over the years. For certain, UBF might be a different church if we sincerely took to heart the utmost importance of humility.

Influence. Lee said, “The water upstream flows downstream.” He meant that what happens in UBF at the ground level happens primarily because of the leader’s influence. He said very often that we should not blame our sheep, but take personal responsibility. He clearly articulated a culture of influence and responsibility that comes from the integrity of the leader. People have shared how their leader told them, “Our UBF chapter is not growing because of you.” Lee would not have been happy with that leader.

Jesus only. Lee said that whatever we write and share in both sermons and testimonies, 90% should be about Jesus and 10% about ourselves. He never deviated from consistently saying this for as long as I’ve known him for 22 years. If we practiced sharing primarily about Jesus (and not ourselves or UBF), issues with elitism and nationalism would dissipate.

Compassion. With an almost consistent and predictable regularity, Lee would emphasize in countless creative ways the compassion of God and Jesus for sinners. He encouraged UBFers to have a “shepherd’s heart” for others. He stressed that we should love our sheep like our children; that we should love and care for lost sheep with the heart of Christ and with the heart of a father and a mother. This is virtually an unchanging constant in his sermons and announcements throughout the 22 years that I‘ve known him.

Many people have shared with me their observation that they are treated differently from the children of missionaries and older leaders. They say that they often do not force their own children to feed sheep, attend meetings, write testimonies, or marry by faith. Perhaps, if we love others the same way we love our children such complaints would disappear.

Brokenness. Lee expressed it best when he said, “If one’s leg is broken we can fix their broken leg. But when one’s heart is broken, what can we do?” Many are emphatic about Lee’s motivation of primarily desiring to establish leaders for UBF. Yes, he was driven to make disciples the way he believed he should, which I do not always agree with. But I remember him expressing his compassion for broken students from dysfunctional families with genuine and heartfelt compassion countless times. I never doubted that he loved and cared for certain broken people, who will likely be ignored and discarded by a pragmatic leader.

Love one person. Related to compassion and brokenness, Lee emphasized ad nauseam about genuinely loving one person. In an attempt to help a college student, he said in the midst of a very hectic international summer Bible conference (ISBC) preparation, “Helping one person is more important than the entire UBF ISBC.”

Many people have complained about how UBF is far more concerned about the viability, success and reputation of UBF than about the welfare and well being of individual people, who have felt used, trampled upon, disregarded, unappreciated and disrespected. People felt conditional love: They are accepted and loved only if they are fully committed to serve UBF. But should they decide to leave UBF, they felt that they never had a true friend in UBF who loved them for who they were, but only for what they could contribute to UBF. If we took to heart Lee’s teaching about genuinely loving one person, then even if that person left UBF, the love would remain.

There are other repeated emphasis in Lee’s teaching. But I’ll stop here with humility, influence, Jesus only, compassion, brokenness, and loving one person. Could these six attributes be suitable replacements for some of the current 8 to 12 legacies attributed to him over the past dozen years?

Gentle and kind

Boring and predictable. Many have stated that UBF tends to be boring and predictable in the way the Bible is taught and presented over the decades. I hope that UBFriends does not similarly become boring and predictable by unrelentingly blasting away against UBF.

Mission, mission, mission Vs. bashing, bashing, bashing. Many have said that virtually every UBF Bible study, sermon and postings on UBF websites is primarily mission, mission, mission. Such a repeated emphasis on mission cannot but overshadow or even obscure all the countless other (perhaps far more) important teachings of the Bible, such as the Trinity, reconciliation, unity, justice, equality, honesty, friendships, relationships, condescension (instead of being condescending), etc. Likewise, is UBFriends going to be primarily known as bashing, bashing, bashing, even though there are so many other excellent topics and themes that have been written?

While accusing UBF leaders of playing God, is UBFriends doing the same thing? Many have accused some UBF leaders and shepherds of acting and behaving as though they are the Holy Spirit, as though their knowledge and assessment of their sheep is perfect and correct. In the past they have made highly offensive and reprehensible statements like “selfish Americans,” “Polish pride,” “beggar mentality Filipinos,” etc. Obviously no American, Pole or Filipino likes this. Do we now do the same thing by slamming and bashing UBF?

God is omniscient, we are not. God’s (Jesus’) assessment and judgement of us is objective and correct, even perfect, because God sees and knows every heart perfectly. But our judgment of others, even when based on observable facts and evidences, has elements of subjectivity, bias and prejudices because we do not know the deep intricacy of the hearts of others, and not even our own hearts.

Endless proof-texting. We can quote endless verses about how Jesus blasted others, especially the crooked and malicious religious leaders. Others can also similarly quote countless verses about how Jesus was endlessly gentle, patient and kind toward the wicked (which is everyone). Quoting verses is perhaps a stalemate.

Gentle, meek, lowly, kind. Since I’m writing this, let me quote my preferred verses that I believe exemplify Christ. (Feel free to quote “opposite verses!”) “A gentle tongue can break a bone” (Prov 25:15, NIV). “A soft tongue will break a bone” (Prov 25:15, ESV). “Soft speech can break bones” (Prov 29:25, NLT). “Blessed are the gentle / the meek, for they shall inherit the earth” (Mt 5:5, NASB; Mt 5:5, ESV). “I am gentle and humble / lowly in heart” (Mt 11:29, NIV; Mt 11:29, ESV). “Love is patient, love is kind” (1 Cor 13:4).

Don’t stop speaking up. I am absolutely NOT saying that people should stop speaking up against authoritarianism, elitism, exclusivity, cultural imperialism, injustices, spiritual abuse and controlling others in the name of shepherding and discipleship, etc. In fact if you do not speak up when you hear or see something wrong, you are either indifferent or a wimp as a Christian. But for those who do speak up, is there a way to speak up online in a kinder and gentler way, and not predominantly with the predictable accusatory rhetoric and polemic attack of Mt 23:13-39?

What if UBF refuses to do any or all of the following? Be accountable? Genuinely apologize? Own up with contrition or take responsibility for spiritual abuse? Stop slandering and speaking ill of anyone who dares to critique UBF or who leaves UBF? Acknowledge that their shepherding, training methods and their implicit no dating and marriage by faith policies are unbiblical and controlling? Stop justifying itself by their (gospel of) good intentions (which excuses the abuse)? Then what?

Even if many are changing, some may never change. I personally believe that many are genuinely changing, albeit rather slowly, if not invisibly. But there is also a very distinct possibility that some others–perhaps in the absolute minority–who will never change. Then what? Do we thrash the whole orchard because of a few bad apples? Do we damage the whole field of wheat while trying to remove a few weeds? Do we wound and hurt the majority of “good” UBF people, just because we want to relentlessly call out the few “bad” people, who may never change no matter what is said or done?

At the end of the day is Jesus remembered for blasting sinners (which we all deserve without exception) or dying for sinners (which we do not deserve)? What is UBFriends, in her present state and form and emphasis, going to be remembered for?

Is it possible for UBFriends to be gentler, kinder, milder, meeker, more patient, more self-introspection, less accusatory, and not be a predominantly one message website of predictably bashing UBF as though our assessment and judgment of UBF is perfect like that of God’s?

Did I miscommunicate biblical faith? I used to make such statements 100s of times to countless Bible students for over a quarter of a century….especially to those who are single and in (restrained desire and) need of a spouse! I am so sorry for all those I did this too… I realize that inherent in such seemingly “innocent” and “cute” statements is that it could be provocative and possibly misleading and miscommunicating biblical faith.

What’s so wrong about making such statements? On the surface, and without much thought or critical reflection, they do sound biblical, don’t they? For Jesus said, “Have faith in God” (Mk 11:22). Also, we Christians absolutely need faith to please God (Heb 11:6), and “the righteous will live by faith” (Rom 1:17c, Hab 2:4). In the OT, when Abram believed God, his faith was credited to him as righteousness (Gen 15:6). Therefore, when we have faith and pray with believing faith (Mk 11:24), we can move immovable mountains (Mk 11:23). We can marry the person of our wildest dreams and raise many disciples for the kingdom of God! Wow…all I need and the only thing I need is faith. This is surely all true, correct and biblical, isn’t it?

The problem is… and there are several potential problems with making such unqualified statements and other related statements regarding faith, such as “With faith you can be a great man, and a Ph.D professor shepherd, and a successful businessman.” So what’s the problem?

It’s up to you and your faith. It presents faith as though it is entirely up to you and to the quality and purity and correctness and soundness of your faith. It puts the burden and pressure on you to have and to exercise the proper kind of faith. Then you, through your faith, will please God and move God’s heart to bless you abundantly according to your faith. It is basically having faith in your faith, rather than in God.

It takes emphasis away from the primacy of God. I am not denying that each Christian is fully responsible for exercising their faith. But to place the burden of faith primarily on the Christian denies or obscures the primacy of God in our faith (Phil 1:6; 2:12-13). It is as though God is not sovereign but that I am sovereign to fulfill God’s will, since God is dependent on my faith before he can or will act to bless me.

It can cause self-centeredness and excessive unhealthy introspection. It causes you to think primarily about yourself (what’s wrong with me or with my faith?), rather than to think or focus primarily on God.

It can be a form of control and guilt-tripping. It gives the church leader and the Bible teacher the control by putting pressure on the Bible student as the one who needs to prove themselves through the exercise of their faith expressed by their performance.

God’s Not Dead misrepresents faith. In the movie God’s Not Dead, a college professor is a staunch atheist. When he was young his mother became ill. Growing up in the church, he believed and prayed that God would heal her. But she died. He became bitter and concluded that God is dead. His idea of faith is that God would answer his prayers if he sincerely and genuinely prays to God by faith. His idea of faith is that he is in the driver’s seat and that God is the one who should do what he prays for. I shared this extemporaneously in my sermon Gospel Faith to express the fallacy of such faith.

Does your faith make you righteous? Interestingly, Rom 1:17 can also be translated “the righteous by faith will live” (Rom 1:17, NET), or “And the righteous one by faith shall live” (Rom 1:17, YLT). This perhaps conveys the essence of faith more clearly by emphasizing what God has done. We Christians do not live by faith to become righteous (or to get what we want or to have our prayers answered). Rather, it is precisely because of our faith in Christ who saves us by his grace that we live! This is the emphasis in my sermon Gospel Power.

What are your experiences with faith? How was faith taught or communicated to you?

This is from a SL worship service lecture.

“Today we are gathered here to remember Dr. Samuel Lee who was our teacher, shepherd, and most of all, a good soldier of Christ Jesus. It has been thirteen years since he entered the heavenly gate like a victorious general after fighting the good fight.  We miss him so much.”

>> Are you gathered to remember SL or to worship him? I can’t tell the difference. 13 years? SL died in a fire in Chicago in February 2002. That was 12 years ago.

“Today’s passage is Paul’s personal admonition to Timothy. These words are also fitting for us who serve Campus pioneering and world mission. I pray that we may renew our soldier spirit and be good soldiers of Christ Jesus.”

>> So you admit that you serve the mission. At least you are being clear. Your ministry places mission above people. You are willing to sacrifice people for the sake of mission. This does not sound like Christ who had compassion for people.

“Apostle Paul reminds Timothy of his spiritual identity as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. A Christian is a soldier whose commander is Jesus Christ.”

>> Ok so yes a solider is one metaphor used in the bible to describe Christians. Are there others?

“A Christian’s goal is to fight against his enemies and defeat them.”

>> Well no, that is the goal of a terrorist. The goal of Christians, according to the bible is to love. Christ won the victory already.

“Our battle is not against flesh and blood but against Satan.”

>> Ok yes that is correct. There is a battle. Our enemy is not people.

“We have to fight against our sinful desires to enjoy worldly pleasures and complacency. We also have to engage in the spiritual battle to rescue God’s flock from their sin and Satan. Moreover, we have to engage in the one to one battle to pioneer college campuses around the world, expanding his kingdom work.”

>> Wait, what? You just said our enemy is Satan, not people. Yet now my “self” is the enemy? Now the campus is a battlefield?

“Then, what kind of attitude should we have as good soldiers of Christ Jesus?”

>> Wow, what a loaded question, proof-texted by your own claims prior to asking the question!

“Paul says, “Join me in suffering.” It means first, to participate in Jesus’ suffering.  Jesus came to earth to live a life of suffering. Jesus prayed early in the morning, healed many people with all kinds of diseases, fed them and taught them until he  became like a root out of dry ground (Isa 53:2).  Finally, Jesus went to the cross at the age of 33.”

>> Yea, Jesus did those things. He also did a lot of other things that did not involve suffering. He made wine at a wedding. He ate grain from the field on Sunday. He slept in a boat during a storm. And many many other wonderful things.

“Jesus’ life itself was suffering. Paul also learned from Jesus and lived a life of suffering.  He was in prison, flogged severely and exposed to death many times.  Five times he received the forty lashes minus one. He was hungry and thirsty (2Cor 11:23-27). But he confessed in Romans 8:18, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” Our suffering secures a crown of righteousness and glory. Therefore, soldiers of Jesus Christ should not be afraid of suffering but enjoy it with joy.”

>> Now you are binding our minds incorrectly and unnecessarily to suffering using the bible as glue. We should not be afraid of suffering, correct. But life does not equal suffering only. That is more of an Eastern philosophical value proof-texted with bible verses. Jesus came to give us life to the full.

“Second, “Join me in suffering” means you will receive training.”

>> WTF? Oh yeah, you must mean the ubf six stage training.

“A good soldier matches his training.  Whether you are a good soldier or not largely depends on the degree of the training you receive, not on human conditions.  In order to become a foot soldier, you will receive 6 weeks of basic training. But in order to become an officer, you have to receive 4 months of officer training.  In the case when you want to become a special force soldier, you will receive unbearable training. One example of survival training is where you are left alone on a mountain with only a knife and map to survive by eating snakes and rats.  Through receiving this special training, soldiers can survive in any circumstances and carry on any given mission.”

>> So now we are in la-la land. What are you talking about?

“Since we regard UBF as a spiritual academy, we use many military-related words such as “training,” “battle,” and “conquer.” We have received many types of spiritual training such as “Daily Bread training,” “message training,” “testimony writing training,” “Skokie training,” or “one to one training.” Dr. Lee called himself, “army sergeant” who raised spiritual generals, and trained many shepherds. Through this training in the early days of UBF, many UBF staff shepherds and senior missionaries were raised. Dr. Lee wore army clothes with a beret on his head and rode a Jeep because he considered himself a field commander in the front line of world mission. We must inherit this soldier spirit to love training and suffering in order to send 100,000 missionaries to 233 nations.”

>> Thank you. This is the best documentation of KOPHAN theology I’ve come across. At least you are bold enough to document it.

“Unfortunately, when God blessed South Korea abundantly, she began to have a spiritual crisis of materialism, hedonism, and complacency. The Christian population has now dropped from 12 million to 8.5 million. It is hard to meet one sheep and raise him as a disciple and so Korea UBF is seeing a constant drop in student Sunday worshipers. However, I have hope when I see God’s work done through a small number of trained soldiers who have soldier spirit both in South Korea and around the world.”

>> So how did we get to South Korea so quickly? Clearly you are on your own soapbox and not teaching us about the bible or Christianity. Your words sound like a certain group in Germany a few decades ago.

“There are many shepherds in UBF who are on fire about God and feed 15 to 20 one to ones per week. They are called one to one zealots. There is a shepherdess in Kwan-Ak chapter III.  It seems to be impossible to fish SNU medical students because they study all the time.  So she went fishing at 11PM when the medical school library closed.  In this way, several ancestors of faith were raised and now 40 families were established in Kwan-Ak chapter III.  Around her, there are many women coworkers who are one to one zealots, and every day they engage in united prayer and go out fishing, and in this way they invite 50 freshmen each year. Among them, 12 future leadership candidates are chosen to have common life. As a result, the number in Sunday worship grows constantly. Among 130 worship attendants, 80 of them are students. While the student attendants in most Korean UBF chapters are decreasing, Kwan-Ak chapter 3 is ever growing.”

>> Yes, thank you for admitting the problem: zealots. Way to heap guilt upon the heads of all your fellow ubfers.

“There are many one to one zealots in El Camino UBF.  I heard that they had 320 one to ones last week.  I think we should all be greatly challenged by that.  I pray that we may also learn their one to one zealot spirit so that we may overcome this stagnant time of ministry and revive it.”

>> Well, perhaps you should visit El Camino UBF and see what they are really doing…From what I can tell they have rejected a lot of SL’s teachings and are practicing Christianity. Maybe that is why they are now attracting people?

“I was called as a Gwang-ju staff shepherd just after accepting Christ 2 years and 10 months earlier.  But at that time I was not mature enough. Thus, God trained me severely.  Dr. Lee tried to help my marriage problem and brought a shepherdess from Seoul all the way to Gwangju upon my agreement. But my heart turned cold and I refused to marry her.  Another time, I came back from Jun-ju after successfully passing my ministry onto the successor. Dr. Lee told me that I would work in the daily bread department as an office worker since I lacked the intelligence to become a staff shepherd but had the faithfulness to be a good office worker. At that time, I was very confident as a staff shepherd since I was successful in Jun-ju ministry growing the number from 80 to 130. Upon hearing his words, my pride was hurt and I became upset. So I told him, “I was not called as an office worker but as a staff shepherd.”  As a result, I had to bounce a volley ball to the ground for three hours in the staff conference.”

>> Wow you are really good at praising yourself. And you admit you have endured such abuse. Your self-glory statements go on and on in the next paragraph. In fact this whole thing seems like you are trying to justify the abuse done to you…

“Among the sacrificial shepherds, S. Ok-ki Lee was an intern shepherd. He was the first UBF 1:1 zealot, who did 25-30 one to ones per week.  He then was scouted by Dr. Lee and sent to Jong-ro center as an intern shepherd under S. Maria Ahn.  S. John Park, staff shepherd of Gwang-ju 2 came to center from his freshman year. He received a full 4 year scholarship to Cho-sun law school and is a gifted scholar and a servant of God’s Word.  His chapter has 110 Sunday attendants. Dr. David Park is the layman staff shepherd who serves Gwangju III focusing on Chodae medical and dental schools. He has raised numerous medical doctor shepherds, including three professor shepherds in Chodae medical school and six medical missionaries. People used to call Chodae hospital, “UBF hospital.” They have 120 Sunday attendants.”

>> Nice. More guilt-trips for your audience.

“…I give my praise, thanks and glory to God who saved this sinner, and who called and trained me to be a useful servant of God.”

>> Was it God who trained you? Or SL?

“Let us renew our soldier spirit as good soldiers of Christ Jesus and love training and suffering to become strong warriors of faith.  In this way, I pray that we may recover our passion for one to one Bible studies and carry on our mission to send out 100,000 missionaries to 233 nations. Let’s read verse 3 together. “Join me in suffering like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.”

>> Maybe you should recover your passion for Christianity and Jesus instead? Maybe you might one day view people as more than a means to preserving your heritage?

So maybe one day ubfers will give up this SL praising and worshiping. Their latest report tells me that God cursed the latest SL worship.

The concept of Jesus as the Good Shepherd is something that has been common knowledge and generally applied if somewhat intermittently in the last decade that I have been a Christian. I cried to the 23rd Psalm when my father passed away. It always surprises me that the meaning of the scriptures grow with me and my circumstances. The Holy Spirit always reveals new things to me. The first of these was something that seemed so obvious that I always overlooked it, and never realized its importance until today.

Verse 7 says “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep.” Verse 9 says “I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.” Verse 10 says “I have come so that they may have life.” Verse 14 says “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep.” My point is that the emphasis is on Jesus and further the promises of the gospel are only present through Him. There is no mediator between me and Christ. On one hand this seems like the most obvious thing, but then again it does not play out that way in people’s lives. Many people believe that they need someone to save them, be it their family, their church, their government, their personal shepherd- but the scriptures make it clear that Christ is all that is needed. I have often believed all I needed for a good life was a good degree and a good job. After failing at both of these I decided to settle for Christ, the author and perfecter of my faith, the holy of holies, who before Abraham was, the prince of peace, the son of God himself.

As I prayed on this passage a phrase came to mind. “The metaphor breaks down.” I am not sure why. As I have read the bible God’s relationship to man is often presented using metaphors. Here are all the one’s I have gathered:

• A potter to clay (Jeremiah)
• A building block to a church (1Peter 2, Romans)
• A man to wife (Song of Songs, old testament prophesy describe Israel as a prostitute)
• A father to son (1 John 3)

And finally a man to sheep. All of these metaphors only serve to capture or explain part of God’s love. The caution I received was this- that while a metaphor is helpful to teach, learn, and understand- ultimately to apply- we should caution ourselves from taking it so far that it overreaches its intended meaning. The metaphor given in John 10, of the sheep and Shepherd fail to capture that we are creations of God, and further that we are loved as a son, given freedom as such. The metaphor of the potter to clay along with the metaphor of the building blocks to a church captures that we are creations and that God knows every detail of us as an artist knows his art- but since it is inanimate, this metaphor also fails capture the mercy and justice that God provides his creations. The metaphor of the shepherd says nothing of obedience which is captured by a father and son relationship.

When I read John 10 I learn that Christ the good shepherd protects his flock. He guides them and cares for them. But I must remember that while I am his sheep, I am also his building block, Christ is my true love, I am but clay in his hand, and finally I am his son. The true biblical idea of being a shepherd loses this, but the scripture is far from incomplete as it provides us with numerous other metaphors of God’s goodness. But what does this mean for me? The same thing it always has, I should deny myself as Christ did, love others and above all love God with all my heart mind and soul. He is my maker, my love, my very great reward. My refuge, my father, and finally my Good Shepherd.

Dear Ethics & Accountability Committee,

There was a problem with the formatting of yesterday’s email, so I’m reformatting it. As I indicated yesterday, I’m not interested in “normal” email interaction. I am seeking a thoughtful response in the coming weeks from the committee after you’ve had a chance to meet and discuss my three requests.

(I am copying some of my friends on this email; please read the public content disclaimer below)

As someone who spent 24 years committed to ubf ministry, who lead my family and fellowship at ubf faithfully and ethically for decades, and who is still highly invested in ubf ministry even after leaving in 2011, I am asking you as a committee to consider three requests seriously, honestly and openly.

1. Can you please make the Ethics & Accountability contact info public?

Some ubf members have asked me from time to time how to contact you. I am grateful that Alan posted a new email address on our ubfriends.org blog recently, so I’m using that email. I will continue to give out your email addresses when asked. However, your own organization members are having difficulty understanding and finding your contact info. You might want to consider a phone number or TXT number also, since some of your members need some immediate help and cannot wait for email replies.

2. Will you please find a way to address people leaving your organization?

I just finished another coaching session for one of your student leaders. Over the course of the last 7 days, this person reached out to me daily as they left your ministry. In this case, they left peacefully. This process has happened numerous times over the past 3 years. It is painful for me to do this but I do it joyfully because people are eager to know the truth about various issues affecting your organization. And they are adults capable of making their own decisions. This particular person was amazed to find that there are good Christians outside your organization. I plan on continuing my exit counseling. But I hope you will intentionally and publicly open the door for people to leave and end the permanent shepherd/sheep relationships if they want.

3. Would you please read my 3 books? http://www.amazon.com/Brian-Karcher/e/B00JAPPDEO

The rumors about me and my family have been wild to say the least. Some have considered us the “anti-Christ” and “doing Satan’s work” or “possibly filled with an evil spirit”. Most have simply ignored us, dismissed us and act as though we are dead. But we are not dead. Please read my three books and consider my perspective on my life as having at least some validity. News media has contacted me about my books, and I will speak to them when they contact me again. I am willing to do an open book signing/Q&A any time you would like and that fits our schedules.

I love our Lord Jesus the same as you do. I love the Holy Scriptures as you do. And I am compelled to act by the Holy Spirit.

Grace and peace,

Brian Karcher
http://about.me/brianjkarcher

*** Disclaimer: The content of this email is intended to be public and anything written in this email or in reply to this may be used in public blogs.

“Just obey” may cause PTSD reactions

This is not biblical obedience. An “American shepherd” was introduced to “marry by faith” with a “Korean shepherdess.” But he politely declined. Then he was told without equivocation and in all seriousness, “YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO SAY ‘NO.’” After that he was told that because of his disobedience he had to leave that UBF chapter. (Does this cause PTSD reactions?) This is not biblical obedience, but teaching obedience to a human person. It tainted and jaded him to some degree. Because of such a humiliating church experience, I began to understand why PTSD reactions happen in some people who have been in UBF.

Why share such negative and discouraging stories. Some UBFers have angrily accused me of being negative, critical and discouraging because I share such stories publicly. But I do so because such “negative” stories are often not welcomed, not in emails or even in private discussion among some senior leaders. Also, there have been no proper official channels for such issues to be seriously addressed (without being pacified or patronized), or for it to be dealt with fairly and promptly. Yes, UBFriends is often messy and it may not be the optimal place to share this. But is there really an optimal place to share this anywhere? My hope is that as such accounts are known more and more in my church, they will happen less and less.

Obedience to the gospel. For the record, I still preach, teach and encourage obedience, but never to me, and never to UBF. Rather, I teach, promote and emphasize (willing, not coerced) obedience primarily in response to the gospel by personally knowing the grace of Jesus and the love of God and the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Faith and Obedience. I had originally intended to write a theological exposé entitled Faith and Obedience. If you are interested to critique it and dialogue about it, I posted it on my blog here. So the above posting sort of just happened randomly!

Do you have any obedience stories or PTSD stories to share?

Book 1 – Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives

In my first book, I was inspired by a simple word Jesus spoke. “Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!” Luke 12:24 ESV. I found that ravens are fascinating birds. They are scavengers though, and have typically been depicted as symbols of evil in many books. Jesus said to consider the ravens, so I did.

In this book I shared my exploration of midrash, telling the story of Jacob and Esau from what I think might have been Esau’s perspective. I shared what I was learning about the gospel of Jesus, based on numerous books and my new bible study classes I was taking. In the final chapter, I shared a long version of my life story, from my perspective and without spinning tales of glory. This whole process was a baseline to reset my personal life narrative. The book is dedicated to my late father who died of ALS in 1989. And as with all three books, I asked for artwork from my parents (and later from my daughter).

Book 2 – Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives

In my second book, I shared all the things I wanted to put in my first book, but didn’t have the thoughts or the courage. I explore three burning questions: Why did I join UBF? Why did I stay at UBF over two decades? And why did I leave UBF? I found that my search for goodness, my father’s death, and my own self-absorbed thinking contributed to all three questions.

This book was frustrating to write, and ends rather abruptly. I was not happy with this book at the time because it stirred up so many emotions. As I analyzed the UBF theology called KOPHAN, “kingdom of priests and holy nation” I became more and more furious at having been duped out of believing the Christian gospel that Jesus preached. Still I was able to document, for the first time as far as I am aware, the main components of KOPAHN. I explain in detail and with personal experience the recruiting principles of UBF missionaries (such as low commitment/high reward promises), the six-stage training system, the three layers of burden placed on new recruits, the four elements of control woven throughout the UBF culture, and the twelve heritage slogans that all UBF people will instantly recognize. All this is the UBF-style shepherding theology called KOPAHN. All this stroked my own narcissistic desires for fame and glory. After writing all this, I found that the process, though messy, was very good for my soul.

Book 3 – Unexpected Christianity: The Penguin Narratives

In my third book, I attempt to connect with Christianity. I do so by weaving in the story of my family’s move to Detroit from Toledo, stories from 2003 to 2012. I tell what happened when we were sent out by Toledo UBF, how people in Toledo UBF would share various struggles with me, and in painful detail, I share what happened as my family slipped away from UBF in “blaze of glory” fashion. One of the sparks for our departure that I describe is ironically Sarah Barry’s 2011 new year’s card, where she prayed for all UBF missionaries to be men and women of integrity. My third book tells my journey to be just that—a man of integrity.

I am most pleased with my third book. I get a lot off my chest in this book. And it was the most painful to write. But it shows in vivid detail how I was able to find faith, hope and love again—the faith, hope and love that Christianity is supposed to be all about. I dedicated this book to myself, because Jesus said to love your enemy.

Who am I?

These three books tell the story of my search for who I am. If you want to know me, or understand why I did what I did, please read my books. If there is any “one way” forward for UBF ministry, I suggest for your consideration that the one way begins with reading my books. You might just find Jesus all over again. Thanks for listening. My story is complete. My journey now takes an entirely new turn. And I am happy.

After becoming a Christian in 1980 I became certain and convinced by the work of the Holy Spirit that living for Jesus is the only worthwhile reason to live (Jn 10:10b; 20:31). Only by God’s mercy and grace, this is still as true for me today as it was when I experienced my mystical conversion in 1980.

But along with this glorious, mystical, loving, gracious, mysterious certainty of Christ, I realize that I also added “other certainties,” which were basically non-negotiable to me, such as:

• One to one Bible study is the best way of discipleship.
• You must always answer the Bible study questions before meeting for Bible study…and prepare a Bible study binder.
• Writing testimonies weekly is the best way to grow as a Christian.
• Marrying by faith is the way to marry.
• Everyone should be a one to one Bible teacher and teach the Bible.
• You must never ever miss Sun worship service for any reason unless you’re dying or moribund or for four weeks for a mother after delivering a baby, but NOT for the father.
• You must never miss your weekly church meetings.
• You better never miss any church conferences, even if you have to go into debt by paying for the travel expenses and conference fee.
• You must always defer to and agree with your senior and your leader, even though they are clearly wrong.
• You must not disagree with, object to, or challenge your leader, because God appointed them and not you to be the leader.
• If your Christian leader does not bless you, God will not bless you.
• God’s blessing on your life invariably and necessarily comes through your leader and your church.
• UBF is the best church in the world.
• Caucasian Bible students are the best, while others are dispensable. Sorry for having to make such a racially offensive and disgusting statement, because it was sadly true of me then.
• Any Christian or church who does things differently from me or my church is really compromising, inferior, suboptimal, nominal, culturally contaminated, sad and pitiful.

Of course, I developed these absolute certainties because my church communicated these certainties, either implicitly or even explicitly at times. These are not necessarily all bad or wrong, though some clearly are unbiblical. I’m sure you can identify which.

The problem with these certainties other than Christ and the gospel is that I became arrogant and condescending toward anyone who did not value and treasure MY certainties. I was also known by others–such as my family–for these other certainties, as though Christ is like that, when clearly Jesus is never ever so rigid, narrow, inflexible and intolerant of anyone who is not like ME!

Today, Christ remains my single certainty. But the others are not longer certainties to me.

• I enjoy group BIble studies, which I think are far more interesting and illuminating.
• People can come for Bible studies prepared or completely unprepared.
• They can share written testimonies, or oral extemporaneous testimonies, or not share at all.
• No church meeting or church conference is mandatory.
• Come if you want to, not because you have to.
• Learn to make decisions on your own before God and not think that you need the mediator of another person, since Christ is the only mediator (1 Tim 2:5).
• Overcome unhealthy dependency on another person, as though your blessing comes primarily from a human being rather than from God.
• Sorry to blow burst anyone’s bubble, but UBF is NOT the best church in the world. Nonetheless, I love this church, because ultimately it is Christ’s bride and He is my bridegroom.

What are your certainties? Have you dispensed of any unnecessary certainties that you once held dear?

My Binder is Bigger than Your Binder

I remember how awestruck we were when one ubf shepherd brought a 4 inch white binder to Sunday service! He opened it wide and took notes during the service. We were so impressed because before then the standard was a 1 inch binder for bible study notes. This style of bible study notes was not just back in the 1980’s, but in Toledo ubf we carried on the tradition into the 90’s and 2000’s. I think only in the last decade did people start bringing laptops to bible study.

Binder Judging Day

Not only were ubf shepherds required to bring their binders (white was the only acceptable color) to bible study, we had several binder judging days. We brought our best binders full of notes and they were displayed on long tables. Those (like me) with some unfinished binders were shamed.

Paper, Scissors and Glue

All this was of course before the widespread use of computers. But being a Computer Science Engineering major, I had a PC. I bought it from Sears and was one of the first ubf shepherds to use the bible electronically and to print out notes entirely from the PC. Some rebuked this as unspiritual and sinful. The proper way of preparing notes was to cut the question sheet up into strips of paper, glue or tape them onto lined paper, and use a pen to write the answers. Some even said using a pencil was unspiritual because a pencil could be erased and changed. A pen was permanent and would last longer.

Android Phone

As a shocking contrast to all this, I decided to take ONLY my Android phone to any meetings I had with ubf people after leaving the ministry (yes I had several meetings). I have access to many bible translations, many books via Kindle, and the entire wealth of the internet on my phone. And best of all: I could live blog instantly if anything went wrong at the meetings :)

Anyone else remember the binders? Any stories you would like to share about how bible study is conducted at ubf? Regardless of the binders or laptops, what kind of bible study do you have?

1) God has a plan, but it’s unwise to focus on it excessively.

I always find it odd when Christians place such a high taboo on fortune telling and magic, but always talk about “God’s will”. If you are always trying to discover “God’s will” for your life you are trying to divine the future. Jesus rebuked the Jews of his day various times for demanding and searching for signs. Trying to decide what God’s will is is akin to asking what you are doing tomorrow. You might have some idea but you really don’t know, and by the time you do know tomorrow is still a day away. Dwelling on God’s will is dangerous and not practical. It best it is of no consequence and at worst its fortune telling. Therefore I suggested to the man not try to concern himself with if it is God’s plan or not.

2) God’s calling is external and internal.

UBF usually presents the “Shepherd” identity as a special calling you have by virtue of UBF showing up. I once met with an admissions officer of Covenant Theological Seminary. The man asked me “Do you feel called to seminary?” I admitted that I was unsure. His next question was puzzling: “How much do you have in student loans?” I told him I had none, but was unsure why that was related to if I was called or not. As well as I can remember he said “God’s calling is both external and internal. You must have a strong desire to minister, and your conditions must allow you to. Some people come here with seventy-five thousand dollars in student loans and are newly married and want to get a masters in divinity. I always say to those people ‘Do you think that God is making your path straight for this?’” I told him as a doctor he would be in the right place to help minister to many people, but what matters is if he wants to. He must have an internal call, manifested as a desire. I suggested he pray about it, and I told him that what he wanted to do was more important than what others wanted him to do.

3) Know what you are getting into before getting into it.

One thing I emphasized was that there was absolutely nothing wrong with being a campus minister and being a UBF shepherd if you go into it knowing what that entails. I said that many people had become “shepherds” without knowing what that meant. They believed they were doing “God’s work” but really it meant marrying by faith and adhering to a lot of over bearing authority, strange cultural norms, random titles, ect. I referred him to the 6 stages of UBF training slides that UBF produced some time ago. I told him that his “calling” would entail what appeared in these slides. UBF training model

4) There is a season for every activity under the sun

I mentioned that even if he decided to do campus mission that there is a season for campus mission and there is a mission that isn’t for campus mission. Every believer is called to “evangelize” – which simply means to live and speak in such a way that people are pointed to and find out about the good news of Jesus. Not every believer will have the gift of evangelism. Those who are gifted are able to connect with unbelievers in powerful ways and are able to equip other believers who do not have the gift of evangelism to be more effective in their attempts to share their faith (Ephesians 4:11, 12). People with the gift of apostleship will likely have evangelism in the spectrum of gifts, but they are wired to start new works, break new ground, and get movements moving. Teachers may or may not have the gift of evangelism, but are able to open and teach the Word of God in clear, practical, and powerful ways… in the end giftedness simply describes the way the Spirit has empowered us to fulfill the great commission, to be disciples who order our lives in love for God and others, who make disciples (helping unbelievers become believers and helping believers to walk more fully and authentically in the power of the gospel. This is the call on every believer, though we all have different gifts that will give us strengths to carry out that call. Evangelism is not tied to an area. There is no promised land of evangelism. Campus mission is only one place. I told him that many in UBF do campus mission for a while and God calls them away.

5) Being a true Shepherd does not constrict the gospel to a script

The shepherd’s goal is to evangelize and lead others to Christ. If he plans to do this by constricting and limiting his or her efforts to a single, scripted version of Christianity while focusing his or her efforts into a tiny socioeconomic group of students from wealthy families- I feel that the shepherd has sold out his dream of evangelism for a lie. I told the man that I could never get over how I heard people repeatedly pray for raising disciples on affluent college campuses while my students were gunned down, murdered people, and drew weapons on me. I told him that simply donating 1% of your tithe once a year isn’t what the scriptures meant when they said “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” I encouraged the man, that regardless of his acceptance of the title and call for campus ministry he should help the poor and disadvantaged.

I told that if he accepted the title with all this in mind, then there would be no problem with him accepting the title.

What do you think? I know many might disagree with some of the things I said here, others might agree. What would have you have told the man?

[This is a direct quote form my second book about my journey of recovery from ubf, “Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives” and further describes the ubf training model.]

The most important aspect everyone needs to understand about UBF ministry is the six-stage training process. When I joined in 1987, no one had ever documented such a thing. But as I look back, I can clearly see all six stages. Everyone’s experience is different. Yet all UBF people should readily recognize these six stages. The following slide describes the UBF training model, and has been shared publicly by UBF from their 2010 Fishing and Outreach Director’s Conference. This is the most accurate depiction of my 24 years at UBF I’ve ever seen.

It’s no surprise that the stages are presented in a circular pattern because every time the process fails, UBF missionaries just start all over with a new person. As I progressed through each of the six training stages, I had hoped to find the goodness UBF bible teachers promised. Instead, I found goodness re-defined. UBF became my “good”. And not only did I pass through all six stages of training, I then attempted to train other students in the UBF ways as a UBF shepherd.

The first three stages of UBF training may be categorized as “sheep training”. The goal is to secure a person’s commitment to the UBF ways. The UBF leaders seek to produce a person committed to weekly UBF bible study (Stage 1: Birthing), a person willing to adopt the UBF worldview (Stage 2: Rooting) and a person willing to continue the training and become a UBF shepherd (Stage 3: Growing).

The second three stages of UBF training may be categorized as “shepherd training”. The goal is to secure a person’s resources for the rest of their life. UBF leaders want a person’s identity (Stage 4: Disciple Training), a person’s obedience (Stage 5: Soldier Training) and a person’s lifelong loyalty (Stage 6: Leader Training).

The content of these six stages may be adjusted for each student UBF encounters. The overall plan takes about 7 to 9 years and is practiced with some degree of consistency by UBF chapters around the world. One question though: What do you do after Stage 6? The expectation is that you live as a lifelong UBF loyalist and recruiter.

[Appendix D is added here for clarity]

Sheep Training (up to 5 years)

Stage 1: Birthing (1 to 9 months)

Goal – commit to bible study

Starts after first bible study

Stage 2: Rooting (1 to 2 years)

Goal – adopt the UBF worldview

Starts after Sunday service attendance

Stage 3: Growing (1 to 2 years)

Goal – pursue more training

Starts after sharing Life Testimony

Shepherd Training (2 to 4 years)

Stage 4: Disciple Training (about 1 year)

Goal – identity as “Shepherd X”

Starts after joining common life

Stage 5: Soldier Training (1 to 2 years)

Goal – obedience to UBF authorities

Starts after college graduation

Stage 6: Leader Training (about 1 year)

Goal – loyalty for life

Starts after Marriage by Faith

Stage 1, the “birthing” stage, is often rather enjoyable. This stage begins with a chance meeting on campus with a college student. It is important to note that in the UBF heritage, the person must be a college student to be considered for the six-stage training. Other non-college people may hang around UBF chapters for a while, but will likely be seen as a distraction to the UBF world campus mission.

The random invitation to bible study on campus between a UBF bible teacher and a new student is seen as a divine birth-moment. The person who invited the student becomes the personal, life-long moral supervisor for the student, who is now referred to as his or her “sheep”. This process is called “fishing for men on campus” and is the pivotal moment that will be used year after year to convince the student that their old life was bad and their new UBF life is blessed and good. I was already a Christian before my “birth-moment” but this did not matter to UBF shepherds. They see any pre-UBF life in a mostly-negative, unblessed light. This enhances the perspective that the student’s new life at UBF is good and blessed.

In this first stage, the training amounts to a once a week bible study with a self-appointed, personal shepherd. Much emphasis is placed on finding a new life and new relationships through bible study. Because the bible is the focus of this new UBF life, some actual transformation caused by the Christian faith will normally also be taking place at the same time the UBF training occurs. This dual nature of UBF training and Christian faith awakening makes for an extremely complex entanglement. How can you discern what good came from UBF training and what good came from faith in God? Over time, this line becomes so blurred that UBF becomes equal to God in your mind.

Any student who is “birthed” into UBF bible study is carefully watched. UBF shepherds look to see if there is any interest in bible study and will pursue a new student aggressively. The acceptance of UBF bible study (called one-to-one study) is seen as some divine intervention and a sign for the UBF bible teacher to initiate invitations to more meetings and activities. During this first stage, the student is offered much good food and flattered with many good words. Often this stage has many fun activities, such as playing soccer or basketball. All this is done as every event in the student’s life is given proof-texted value from the bible.

The goal of stage 1 is to birth a committed bible student. The primary sign that a committed bible student has been “raised” is Sunday service attendance. When a student regularly attends both weekly bible study and Sunday service, the student is now deemed “faithful” and has been birthed. UBF shepherds often refer to real birth, quoting fertility rates and making analogies to birthing pains and motherhood, to explain what happens during Stage 1 to get a random college student to become a committed Sunday attendee and bible student. Sometimes this first stage takes several months but rarely will a UBF bible teacher wait longer than a year for such a commitment. If a student has not committed to UBF bible study and Sunday service within a year, the bible teacher normally moves onto find someone else. Some UBF shepherds severely challenge the students after a year passes. They want students to make a clear decision: accept UBF blessing or leave. This is often also framed negatively: If you don’t commit to UBF, you will be cursed. I heard many tall tales of accidents, disease and horrible events that were supposed to happen if someone leaves UBF, which is often called “running away”. In my case, the “running away” was additionally framed as “losing your faith” and “going to hell”.

Stage 2, the “rooting” stage, begins when a new student demonstrates a commitment to UBF bible study and Sunday services regularly. Stage 2 can last between one and two years normally. When a student is found to be committed to UBF, the flattery and praise the student experienced in Stage 1 slowly disappears. Now the UBF bible teacher begins to insist on the student’s attendance at other meetings, such as a weekly testimony sharing meeting and often several other meetings held throughout the week. During this “rooting” students are pressured to take on additional duties and roles at their UBF chapter. One of the famous roles is bathroom cleaning servant. Many other kinds of servant roles are made up, such as parking lot servant, Sunday report servant and morning prayer servant. The students are taught the supreme UBF values of loyalty, sacrifice, service and obedience in this stage.

During the rooting stage, students are typically also taught to forget about their pre-UBF friends and family members, who may be “bad company” for their new life. Because the Stage 1 flattery taught the student that UBF has blessings for them, and new genuine spiritual awakening may also be taking place, the student is more open to attending the new meetings and adopting the UBF worldview.

This second stage is where intense personal interest is shown by the UBF members. The goal of Stage 2 is to produce a sheep who understands and adopts the UBF view of life. UBF shepherds understand that Stage 2 often takes several years, so they are patient and oscillate between periods of high-demand pressure and low-demand, cooling off periods. A student will be pushed as far as they can take, and then the shepherd will back off. And then later the pressure will start again. The student thinks they are taking root in the bible, but the reality is that UBF ideologies are also taking root in the student. Almost every detail of the student’s life becomes known through the weekly sharing. The students’ family situation, job situation, hobbies, interests, girlfriends/boyfriends, sins, talents—everything is asked about by inquisitive UBF members. All of this information is fed back to the chapter director and the student’s personal shepherd by means of prayer topics, which are always written down and often compiled electronically. As a side note, one story I love to tell is that I was the first UBF shepherd in my chapter to compile my weekly bible studies entirely on a computer. More than one Korean UBF missionary told me this was an unspiritual way to answer bible study question sheets. They said that Satan was ready to “sift me as wheat” because I did not sacrifice my time to prepare my notes by hand.

The rooting stage normally culminates in the sharing of what UBF calls a “life testimony”. This is a special kind of testimony shared at a weekend retreat or other gathering of many UBF people. Those who do not share such a testimony are not called shepherds and are not permitted to proceed on in the UBF training. Typically the life testimony is a binary format, with titles such as “From a lazy, no-good sinner to a faithful, fruitful shepherd!”. The main requirement is a bold declaration that the person wants to become a UBF shepherd. A stark contrast is drawn between the student’s former, non-UBF life and the student’s new, blessed, UBF life. Often the goal here is to break down a student’s defenses, requiring them to stay up all night or to get up very early in the morning, so that the teachings of the UBF shepherd can be instilled into the person’s life testimony. Portions of the life testimony are routinely re-written or dictated by the UBF shepherd or chapter director.

In addition, the bible’s Old Testament teachings are usually heavily emphasized during these first three stages, so much so that the “obedience equals blessing and disobedience equals curse” is deeply ingrained in the student’s thinking. One main problem that arises is that no distinction is made between God and UBF.

Stage 3, called “growing” is the most vague to me, as it seems the only purpose is to convince the new bible student (“sheep”) that it is necessary and good for them to continue growing and accept more UBF training as a “shepherd”. The word “growing” is used a lot during this period. Are you growing? Why are you not growing? When are you going to grow? The word is vague and thus allows room for some unusual and confusing experiences. This “growing” stage can be volatile as you start to be invited to more and more behind-the-scenes meetings. I noticed the more committed I was perceived to be, the more gossip and information would be shared with me. During this stage, I often was the first person to a meeting and the last person to leave. I wanted to know for myself what was going on.

One common trait of Stage 3 training, for “growing sheep” or sometimes “shepherd candidates”, is something called common life. Sheep are asked to move into a house or apartment with other UBF sheep and shepherds (if the student has not moved into common life by now), all of whom are “growing” in different stages of UBF training. Often the chapter director will gather similarly-ranked sheep into groups. One such group I was in was called “The Rocky’s of Faith”. Another group of young women was called “Mary’s of Faith”. All sheep and shepherds are ranked and tracked by the Korean chapter director.

Stage 4, called “disciple training” is where the real training starts. This is the beginning of shepherd life, to use a UBF phrase. [Stage 4 often begins after a sheep begins common life, but sometimes begins right away after the retreat or conference where a person had shared his or her life testimony.] This stage is normally when a person notices the vicious UBF rumor mill, which was most likely hidden from them during the “sheep” training years.

During stage 4, the student’s UBF shepherd will continue to spend much time with the student. Daily meetings are typical of this stage. Weekly trips to the local college campus associated with the UBF chapter will become mandatory. I saw much heartache in my friends during this state. One of my friends couldn’t take the intrusiveness of his shepherd. So one night he packed up his bags and climbed out the window at night. He just disappeared, never to be heard from again. This stage lasts usually about one or two years and is very intense. Much is demanded from the student at this point because he is a “UBF Shepherd” and expected to set the example.

One of the things that kept me going during stage 4 training was the thought that I would graduate, get a job and move on with my life. But always the question was posed during this time: Will you serve God for the rest of your life? At this point UBF=God, so I spent many nights in anguish, thinking I was engaging in a holy fight like Jacob who wrestled with God.

Stage 5 is called “Soldier Training”. Typically, Stage 5 begins soon after graduating from college. Sometimes, the first 3 stages of “Sheep Training” take all the time of the student’s college years, however. UBF shepherds really want a student “sheep” to become a UBF shepherd during college years. This is a rare occurrence in my observation. So college graduation becomes an intense time of coaxing a “shepherd declaration” from a student, if the training has progressed too slowly. If the first four stages progress as planned however, the new college graduate is ready for Soldier Training.

Stage 5 is marked by all kinds of made up training, at the discretion of the shepherd. A common training is called marriage training (although a marriage “problem” can result in training at any stage). The strict “no dating” policy is made clear at this point. UBF leaders know that they risk losing a student who graduates. So sometimes UBF offers a “staff internship” or other “full-time shepherd” position in Stage 5. This is normally not a paid position but sometimes is paid from UBF offering money. The goal of the UBF chapter director at this point is to keep the student in his own chapter at all costs. The exception is if the student is too independent and stubborn then the chapter director will allow the student to move to another UBF chapter, but usually only if there is some commitment to a marriage-by-faith arrangement. Stage 5 is similar to Stage 4, but more intense. I would call “soldier training” to be “disciple training” on steroids.

My “soldier training” consisted of a plethora of meetings, early in the morning and late at night, conference leadership preparation roles, and doing various duties for the the chapter director. I became an “offering servant”, “Sunday attendance servant” and “cleaning servant”. The pressure in stage 5 is extremely high to go to your local campus and recruit new bible students (called fishing). This involves weekly reporting of your fishing results. During all this you have no time to date, and wonder how you will be married. So after being broken down, you allow your shepherd to choose your wife (called co-worker in UBF). In my first book I shared how I beat this arranged marriage system to marry the woman I wanted.

The culmination of Soldier Training (Stage 5) is a successful arranged marriage, called “marriage by faith” in UBF terminology. Any real leadership position or missionary-sending work is done by married men. Rarely does UBF allow single adults or women to hold significant leadership positions with any kind of decision-making authority.

Stage 6, “Leader Training” begins after “marriage by faith” and is marked by slogans such as “learn a father-like heart”. At this point all flattery is gone. Severe criticism and harsh rebukes are commonplace. UBF missionaries often seem to forget that the shepherd is married and is building his own family at this point. One of my friends got a phone call the day after their first honeymoon night to come to the UBF center for some kind of meeting. After my own marriage, I was asked to sleep at the UBF bible center in order to set a good example to unmarried brothers who were “cleaning servants”. I was supposed to demonstrate that I was not a family-centered man but was a mission-centered man. I refused and slept with my wife at home instead.

What options exist after Stage 6? Not much is documented after Stage 6 of the UBF training. I passed through all six stages and can share what I experienced. In some sense, married couples in UBF are slowly forgotten, their needs marginalized and their loyalty and participation assumed. At this point, you are spending 40 to 60 hours per week with UBF activities and trying to build a family while keeping a full-time job.

One option after Stage 6 is to become and official UBF member. I was shocked to discover that after 20 years of UBF devotion, I was not actually a member! UBF has a set of corporate by-laws, with official offices of President, Treasurer, etc. Such by-laws provide for the establishment of a council with nominated members who can vote on various topics. I believe all this is for show however. Real decisions in UBF are made by Korean missionaries. But in order to retain membership in the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability (ECFA), which the Chicago UBF chapter joined in 2007, UBF maintains a council of official members. At no time during the 24 years I committed to UBF was I asked to be a “member” at this council. So the qualifications to be a council member are vague and likely subjective. Perhaps I was deemed too rebellious, independent, or not loyal enough.

Summary

In summary, the UBF training system can be explained by the six stages: birthing, growing, rooting, disciple training, soldier training and leader training.

Because about 2,000 UBF Korean missionaries have gone to over 180 countries the past 50 years, there are many thousands of stories to tell about the training methods of UBF. And thus there are many variations to the training. However I have found that the six stages I describe are strikingly common among UBF chapters around the world.

Transitions between the stages occur when a college student attend Sunday services, shares his/her life testimony, moves into a common life house, graduates from college and accepts the arranged marriage process. The training ends there, as you are then expected to be eternally loyal as a supposed world-class UBF leader. I found that I was only “world-class” in one thing: in my ability to sit on a folding chair and listen to the same regurgitated messages year after year.

“Pastor Abraham Kim asked me to prepare a message on campus mission with reference to Stephen Lutz’s book (College Ministry in a Post-Christian Culture) along with my own sense of problems and visions.”

Here is a question I’ve wondered for many years. Why is this Korean director in Pennsylvania repeatedly considered the expert in campus discipleship among ubf leaders? This is not the first time Daniel has spoken on this topic. This doesn’t make sense to me because his ministry is very small and disconnected from the rest of ubf. Anyone know why ubf leaders look to him for expertise in “making disciples”? Perhaps he “raised” some famous ubf person?

“One motivation to think about this topic is that some of us have asked whether we should continue to make college students as the main focus of our ministry. The UBF is more than 50 years old. We have many young children in our ministries who need our attention. We have many coworkers who are in retirement age, some with no financial nest egg. And it is becoming more and more difficult to reach out to college students in this post-modern society. So it is natural for us to ask what we are doing.”

Yes you all need to ask these questions! Is ubf a church? If so, then you must start acting like a church and actually care about the needs mentioned here. Is ubf a network of para-church groups? If so, then you need to release the families and stop binding them to live like single college students. But of course, ubf leaders never make up their mind about this. They just plod along, hoping families don’t leave. If the American, German, etc. families left ubf, they would have just the Koreans remaining. If ubf is a college ministry, they should have mostly single non-Korean college students among them, especially single college students leading most of the ministry. But they don’t. Instead the audience at this staff conference is made up of married couples whose average age is likely about 40.

“And it’s important to note that such question is asked by those who love our ministry. The fact is that some of us have devoted our life to campus mission for 10, 20 or 30 years but with very little to show for (humanly speaking). Like men going through a mid-life crisis, we may be wondering what has happened to our life.”

Correct. Such questions are asked by those who love ubf ministry. Such questions are asked by people like myself who also love ubf ministry even though I am no longer part of the ministry.  Ubf does have something to show for their effort. They have earned the cult label from several organizations and from their public image. They have earned the responsibility to bear the burden of abusing people around the world for five decades. Such things are what cause your ubf staff to have moments of crisis. And they are also dealing with the real mid-life crisis of wondering what you did with your life. When you turn 40, it is normal to experience such things. It is harmful to your psyche to suppress or ignore such emotions.

“We all agree that the Bible is at the core of our ministry. It is in our DNA. It’s in our bones and marrows. We believe that the word of God leads us to Jesus. It leads us to eternal life in the kingdom of God.”

Correct, the bible is at the core of ubf ministry. Is that a good thing? I say no. ubf has made the bible into an idol, like many fundamentalist groups have. Being biblio-centric doesn’t automatically make your ministry honoring to God. Perhaps you should spend some time thinking about whether the bible should be at the core. Should not Jesus, the living God, the Person, the Shepherd be there? Does not Jesus our Lord want to be the core? Assuming that because you spend many hours reading the bible you automatically also have Jesus at your center is a very bad assumption.

You say that the word of God leads us to Jesus and leads to eternal life in the kingdom of God. Technically that’s correct. But why emphasize the “going to heaven” message? Where is love for your neighbor, love for your families, and love for your enemies?

“Francis Chan, a pastor in California, said, “If Jesus had a church here (in Simi Valley), mine would be bigger.” What he meant is that Jesus’ preaching would not be very popular today. It’s his critical observation that people today want to hear something that tickles their itching ears. The pure, unadulterated gospel may sound quaint and uninteresting to them. They would rather turn to something new, something more interesting. So some preachers tend to quote a Bible verse or two and then quickly move on to something people want to hear.”

Can you hear the pride oozing from this? Wow! Ubf is a small ministry who spends a lot of time reading the bible. Therefore, ubf is better than Francis Chan’s ministry! Ubf is just like Jesus’ ministry. If Jesus were here today, surely Jesus would set up an unpopular ministry like ubf….

Speaking of that “unadulterated gospel”…. What is the gospel? Why do ubf Koreans get so nervous and even angry when I ask this question? Maybe we could talk about this wonderful gospel? Or is that a waste of time?

And speaking of preachers quoting a few bible verses and moving on to what their audience’s itching ears want to hear… isn’t that what you are doing here Daniel? You quoted a bible verse but don’t speak about it much. You move on quickly to affirm the glory and rightness of ubf ministry, soothing the ears of your audience for a moment.

“In our campus, there is a Christian group that attracts a large gathering each week. I sometimes envy them. Some of our Bible students would leave us to join them, because they can have more fun there and also because they have a better chance of meeting a girlfriend or boyfriend there. On the other hand, only a few students come to our campus fellowship meetings. So again this summer, our student leaders are seeking God’s wisdom on how to reach out to more students. We’ve discussed having games, music, dance, and café after each meeting. But we know that whatever we do, we should always let the word of God be the main focus.”

Ah those darn, unspiritual, mamby-pamby, weak, licentious Christian groups! Argh, if only they wouldn’t attract so many students! Then ubf ministry would flourish! We need much wisdom about how to get students away from such evil influences and get them to attend our boring, mundane, flawed bible study! But just wait another 50 years… we’ll figure it out eventually. Just show us grace.

“We consider our Bible study ministry so precious because the word of God led each of us to Jesus and eternal life. At the beginning of each semester, I ask my students in my economics classes what their life goal is–what they hope to do after college. A majority of them would say: “to make a lot of money and be happy.” They have no idea on some of the important questions in life, such as “Who am I?” “Where did I come from?” and “What will happen when I die?” Instead, their interest is on how to have fun and pleasure.”

Well ok, we get it. Students just want to have fun. That’s bad. Ok fine. But to say ALL students are just unspiritual, unchristian pagans? Really? So it is ubf against the world afterall? Give me a break!

“I believe that the focus of our ministry on preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ is pleasing to the Lord. However, there is one point that Steve Lutz makes, which we may need to heed. He describes a campus group known for its strong biblical, doctrinal, and teaching emphasis. Their students know the Scriptures inside and out. The problem, he says, is that they are ill-equipped to have a meaningful conversation with someone who doesn’t know or follow Christ (p. 32). “

Yes! That’s correct! Ah so Lutz makes one valid point that you should listen to. That’s good. Now we are getting somewhere. Or are we?

“This is serious. Lutz cites statistics that a majority of college students today (85%) identify themselves as non-believers. Some are downright hostile toward God. We need to understand their way of thinking and culture. We need to know their language in order to serve them more effectively. Studying the Bible with them once a week is not enough. This takes us to our last name in our identity—fellowship.”

Oh so ubf has already solved the problem Lutz speaks about. All that amazing fellowship at ubf creates such eloquent, world-class communicators! Ubf people can have such wonderful, graceful conversations with other people outside of ubf? So I would expect a boat-load of ubfriends articles and comments here, engaging all of the pagans like myself? Don’t hold your breath folks.

“II. UNIVERSITY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP”

Now we get to what Daniel Lee really wants to talk about: UNIVERSITY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP. Such a glorious name! Such a glorious ministry doing God’s work the best ways!

“Several years ago, one Bible student left our ministry, saying, “This church does not have love.” I was shocked and deeply hurt. We had served him with the word of God and prayer. We also shared many meals with him. But clearly he didn’t feel our love. St. Paul said, “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing” (1Co 13:2). Since then, our church slogan is “To love God and to love each other” based on Jesus’ command. Of course, we realize that slogan doesn’t make a difference until we practice it.”

Correct! There is no love at ubf, in most ubf chapters. Why? Because serving is NOT love! It took you 50 years to figure that out?

“III. UNIVERSITY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP”

Wait, wasn’t this the title of part 1 and part 2? Oh but we must revel in the glory of UNIVERSITY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP some more. Did you get that? What is our identity? I forgot. Oh yea, UNIVERSITY BIBLE FELLOWSHIP.

“Should we continue to focus on college mission? Well, this is in our name–University. Before we talk about this, let me ask you, “Would you raise your hand if you met Jesus personally while you were in college?” (Most of us!) I think this is one of the powerful reasons why we all love our ministry and want to help college students to come to know Christ.”

Wait, no I did NOT meet Christ first at ubf! I was conditioned to believe that was the case, but many of us had already met Christ BEFORE that fateful ubf bible study appointment. What about us? Why does that diminish your ministry?

“Ever since our early leaders gathered together in college campuses to study the word of God and pray, God has blessed our ministry. He raised up many disciples and sent out many missionaries to all over the world. Just as the Holy Spirit blessed the early churches in the book of Acts, God has blessed our ministries. This is a compelling reason why we should stick to our college mission.”

Ah the nostalgia. Ubf is so much like the early churches in the  bible.  That nostalgia is why we should stick to college mission. Isn’t that the best reason really? We always have done this, our “ancestors” always did this. And what is more, we are doing just what the first churches did. We are so glorious.

“Still, some may argue that God didn’t specifically say we should go to college campuses. Instead, Jesus told us to go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creations (Mk 16:15). He said we should go and make disciples of all nations (Mt 28:19).”

Correct, that is a good argument.

“So why limit ourselves to college campuses? This sounds reasonable. But I don’t believe that focusing a particular population group for evangelism is unbiblical either. After all, college students are part of the world and part of God’s creation. Just as God has blessed some ministries focused on prison inmates, entertainers or athletes, God can and has blessed the ministries focused on college students.”

Note: All those other ministries did not try to become a church. Ubf wants to be both a denominational church and a ministry network. And that is one reason why ubf will fall apart and split in the future.

“What makes campus mission difficult is that it takes a long time to raise a disciple of Jesus. Most college students do not expect to be longer than 4 years on campus. They want to move on. This makes small town ministries especially difficult.”

Yes this is precisely why ubf developed the six stage training program, to fit mostly in 4 years and to condition and entangle students to stay at least a few years after graduating.

“What I personally learned early on is that we should help students with the gospel of Jesus whether they stay in the ministry or not. If they move on to another city, we are sorry to see them go, but the word of God planted in them will stay with them. We need a long term approach. Lutz says, “Campus ministry can’t be concerned only with programs, events or activities that are happening next week. We must focus on the spiritual formation of students for the missio Dei, a lifetime of following Jesus and joining him in his mission, making our goal to make disciples for the mission of God. After all, wasn’t that Jesus’s primary goal?” (p. 104)”

Correct. Good advice. Let the students go free!

“In conclusion, God has used our Bible study ministry to raise up disciples of Jesus from among college students. Thank God for blessing the sacrifices and prayers of our precious coworkers. We have many challenges ahead. But we believe that God will continue to bless our campus ministries as we take care of young students with God’s words and prayers, out of our love for Jesus. May God help us to hear Jesus when he says to us, “As the Father has sent me, I am sending you”!”

Ok fine. But what about the families? What about the children? You speak as though your audience is made up of unmarried students.

Anyone think ubf will change? Think again. Just entertain the idea of a Christian ministry, but keep enabling, propagating and guarding the ubf heritage. World history is at stake and all of Christian history depends on it, apparently.

Our divorce from ubf

Our divorce is final. No, not from each other, but from ubf! As my wife and I talked during our anniversary trip, I realized that for the first time in 20 years, it was just us two talking. For 19 years, there was always a third person in our marriage, a strange, spiritual ménage-à-trois if you will. When you go through marriage-by-faith at ubf, you don’t just marry another person, you marry the ubf ideology. Your shepherds, your chapter directors and even the General Director become the phantom 3rd wheel in your marriage. Often you don’t even have to check your decisions with your shepherd in person. After you have been conditioned by the 6 stage KOPAHN training, your mind already knows what your shepherd will say, so you and your wife check your decisions with this 3rd wheel in your marriage, often without even visiting your chapter director.

So today I joyfully announce to our ubfriends community that my wife and I are absolutely, permanently and unequivocally divorced from the KOPAHN theological system!

Our erotic getaway

We celebrated our 20th wedding by a honeymoon do-over. We spent a multi-day trip getting to know each other biblically :) We talked for hours on end, played games like Yahtzee, watched movies, went swimming naked, and went out for dinner each night. It was a wonderful time of getting to know my wife. After more than 2 decades of neglecting our marriage, we finally threw off our KOPAHN entanglements. Did I mention we went swimming naked?

At ubf, sex is a taboo of taboo issues. So I want to mention something here briefly. Our anniversary celebration included exploring sex for pleasure, rather than merely a chore that is required to “produce sheep”. I’ll just say that we have opened up a whole new world and leave it at that…

Our 3rd Anniversary

As our regular readers here know, I resigned in a blaze of glory from ubf on July 4th 2011, and shut down Detroit ubf forever. So because I am conditioned to mark the time, I now count the years since that glorious day. Independence Day 2014 marks 3 years of freedom from the muck and mire of KOPAHN theology! And later this week we will celebrate with our larger family back home. We will celebrate not only the freedom of America that was bought with the blood of soldiers, not only the freedom we have in Jesus Christ our Lord that was bought with His blood, but especially the freedom our  family has gained from KOPAHN ideologies that was bought with our blood.

I have been detoxing from our ubf life and finally I feel healthy and renewed, as if poison has been drained out of my blood. I am free. I am happy. And I am discovering my authentic self– the guy who loves the Pittsburgh Steelers, the guy who loves sci-fi fantasy, the guy who loves philosophy, the guy who loves to write books and the amazing, family-centered guy that I need to be and love to be.

So what’s your story? Do you celebrate your wedding anniversary? If so, how will you celebrate?

One lesson of teaching in inner city St. Louis was this: students do not accept your authority by virtue of your position as a teacher. This was very hard for me. My mentor teacher remarked:

“You have a very old school style of teaching. You expect students to do what you say because you are a teacher and you expect them to listen to you. That may have been true 10 years ago but now a days this will not work. With these students you must gain their respect.”

My policy was to not treat them any different and continue to hold my standards high. I might relax on grading, but never on content. This was not accepted by my boss who said I should be playing games with them and “dumbing down the content”. One day a student told me a teacher had asked him about my teaching style. The student remarked “He teaches us like a regular class. If you don’t want to work he does not force you. He expects you to do your work.” My students over the course of the year came to respect me. I have been puzzled as to why, but their exit surveys revealed it was my honesty and consistency. Many teachers tried to fit in with the students to make their lives easier. This seemed not to work. They realized these teachers were “faking” to fit in. Students were used to family members lying and not holding promises but my constancy made them like me. It was not at all what I expected. They hated other teachers making content artificially easy.

This confirms an important truth, relevant to campus ministry in the 21st century that students will not respect until respect is given. This may seem obvious to you, but think of how it sounds when someone is told they have to run a decision though a leader. This is something that is likely only to be done to someone whom that person respects, and if you do something like lie, or tell someone they are going to do something without consulting him- this respect will not be given. It seems very offensive to me that someone could have a say in another man’s marriage when he has known him for a month.

Finally, I want to field an objection. Some people might feel like it is “common sense” to run life choices through their shepherd or chapter director because we do that with our parents. This sounds reasonable, and ignoring the question if we should or should not do that with our parents- we need to ask if that happens today. I know with my parents I barely talk, and I know in America many homes are broken due to divorce. The idea that a college student might run their life choices through their parents is outrageous to many people in my generation. Additionally the advent of the internet has shown many young people of my generation that their parents are many times wrong, and incredibly flawed. It has taught people not to take everything at face value. I can remember my mother telling me Dungeons and Dragons caused mental health issues. I went on Wikipedia and promptly informed her because she was wrong. Effective discipleship to Millennials cannot expect this any longer. If people believe this is biblical (and that is certainly very debatable), or even if they think it ought to be done- they need to realize this type of behavior cannot be assumed. It must be earned by respect.

(The scene is the wedding reception of my roommate Ben. Exactly 77 people are in the room. I know because I set up the tables. About 3/4s look like they are Korean or some kind of Asian. People are sipping on their bottled water. Two men are the front of the room. One is well dressed and incredibly handsome; he has a smile from ear to ear. He has the look a man who has been waiting for this moment for months. The other man is Ben West. The man looks raises his water bottle with a devilish grin and begins speaking in a thunderous voice.)

“I cannot imagine the lapse in good reason that allowed a captive audience and a mic to come into my hand, but seeing as I now have it, I will use this opportunity to be “a great blessing”. For those of you unaware I have been Ben’s roommate for nearly a year. I have learned a great deal from him. We both have a lot in common: we both are analytical, we both practice martial arts, we both prefer our drinks soft not hard. In short he is what we might call a man after my own heart. When I met this man I was highly confused as to who resurrected Anton LaVey, but he slowly grew on me. We have had many adventures, like the time we went to carnival and I got to see him dance. I was concerned why nobody informed me of his epilepsy. Or perhaps the time we went fishing and I won a foot race with a girl to get her email for one to one bible study.

Nothing tops my favorite moment, which came when he discovered I had slowly been transferring all his pencils from his room to my room one by one for months- for no reason whatsoever. One thing I want to share about Ben that you, Rebekah, will find interesting is he has a rather long list of baby names already made. He chose what appears to be the whole 1 Chronicles line up. I expect to shortly see Jephunneh, Pispah, and Eber West. As you all know he plans on having 7 children. He is a quiver full kinda guy. My prayer for Ben is that he names one in the middle something totally normal. Johnson West. Or better yet Kanye. I know everyone over the age of 50, which is like half the room doesn’t remotely understand that. But just know it’s funny. When little Kanye asks why he isn’t a part of any of the biblical genealogy, my suggestion is to tell him “I will tell you when you are older.” And then just to keep the suspense, don’t tell him. On your death Ben he will ask “Why am I named Kanye.” And you will say “Because God answers Michael’s prayers.” And just leave it like that. That is unless you are taken straight to heaven like Enoch because of your great obedience to Jesus’ mission command.

As for Rebekah. My interaction with Rebekah has been quite limited. She is surly a woman of God. When I think about Rebekah the first word that comes to mind is “Kind”. She has a kind heart like Jesus. She is quick to forgive and forget. She is a devoted bible teacher and I have nothing but kind wishes for her and her home. This toast is surely to you Ben and Rebekah. I hope one day you can attend my wedding. I hope you got me a wedding card as good the one I got you. It’s a secret to you. But just make sure you open it and not Rebekah.

Let me pray

God abundantly bless these two coworkers as they start their new house church. Use this Abraham and Sarah of Faith to pioneer any campus you would have them pioneer as they fulfill your world mission command to make American a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. Bless this marriage by faith and use it to your glory. I ask that you raise up many shepherds and bible teachers through one to one bible study and discipleship ministry. In all these things I pray. Amen.

Director Training Material

As a director at ubf, I expected to be invited to director meetings. I was not however. Not once was I ever invited to attend a director’s conference or even told what a director should do. It’s probably for the best however, because we all know that ubf director’s conferences are held in the Korean language and attended by Korean ubf people. So right away it became clear to me that I was not really a director, but just a figurehead. In Detroit ubf, it became clear to me that ubf HQ (as we called Chicago ubf) only wanted two things: 1) Weekly stats reporting 2) Staff conference attendance. I was rather surprised when no one cared about our $0 offering year after year. Stats and attendance seemed to be vastly more important to the leaders in HQ.

Still as a director I got on some high level email lists (which came in handy :) and was able to obtain some director training material. This material is not much, and mostly just the typical ubf nostalgic hagiography. But one presentation stood out. It described the ubf discipleship training model in stunning clarity. I suddenly began to understand what had been going on all those years at ubf. Why had I felt so much friction? What standard was I being held to? All the undocumented teachings I had vaguely bumped into became clear.

2010 UBF Directors’ Conference: Fishing and Outreach

The title of the teaching presentation I obtained is Fishing and Outreach. Note: This slide is publicly available, so contact me if you want the public link or search for yourself. This presentation is a prime example of how ubf directors are taught and trained.

The slides are grouped into four sections. Most of the slides are odd diagrams and goofy pictures.

1. UBF Growth Principles (slides 3 to 5)
2. Natural Principles (slide 6 to 8)
3. Fishing and Outreach (slides 9 to 21)
4. Motivation (slide 22)

The first group of slides presents various principles of growth. There is mention of “releasing the divine growth forces which God himself grows his church”. The apparent claim is that natural growth is the best way to grow, and that ubf has grown naturally so far. This section contains a confusing slide with a lot of world flags mentioning something written by Christian A. Schwarz from Germany.

High Quality

The second group of slides attempts to explain the natural principles behind natural growth. One slide lists 8 “quality characteristics”, such as “inspiring worship service”, “need oriented evangelism” and “loving relationship”. This section presents the infamous “minimum barrel” principle. So sheep in ubf had better make sure you are not the shortest plank in the barrel…

Disciple Products

This third group seems to start abruptly at slide 9 which is just labeled “UBF Ministry”. No I’m not mocking ubf here. Slide 12 literally shows the ubf process of ministry with the outcome labelled “Disciple Products”. All the normal activities ubf folks know about are listed, such as Summer Bible Conference. Apparently outreach is supposed to be just a lot of ubf activity, which makes up the largest section of this presentation. You have to see these slides, 9 to 21, for yourself. It’s a wild trip through ubf-land.

Shepherds Falling in Love with Sheep

Slide 20 however stands out to me. The title is “Relationship Developing Steps”. The steps are exactly how two people fall in love (maybe). But don’t think this is about dating. No way. This is about how a shepherd is supposed to fall in love!

Now go do it!

The final group is just one slide: Motivation. Only two motivations are given:

1. Absolute Gospel Power
2. Gospel Vision

Summary of the ubf Training Model

The most useful slide in this presentation for me was slide 10, which is titled “Ministry System”.

The goal of this system is clearly to break you down, shredding your authentic identity and give you a new identity as a shepherd. This ministry process was detailed quite well in an old newspaper article.

This is how the model is supposed to work. Six stages and about 7 years and out comes a ubf shepherd or shepherdess. However, because this model is about psychological identity remaking, it has to be an endless cycle of re-orientation and re-building. The model does not always work and has been adjusted at each ubf chapter for each ubf sheep. How does this model compare to what happens in Russia, Ukraine, Germany, China, Mexico, Canada?

The first three stages of UBF training may be categorized as “sheep training”. The goal is to secure a person’s commitment to the UBF ways. The UBF leaders seek to produce a person committed to weekly UBF bible study (Stage 1: Birthing), a person willing to adopt the UBF worldview (Stage 2: Rooting) and a person willing to continue the training and become a UBF shepherd (Stage 3: Growing).

The second three stages of UBF training may be categorized as “shepherd training”. The goal is to secure a person’s resources for the rest of their life. UBF leaders want a person’s identity (Stage 4: Disciple Training), a person’s obedience (Stage 5: Soldier Training) and a person’s lifelong loyalty (Stage 6: Leader Training).

The content of these six stages may be adjusted for each student UBF encounters. The overall plan takes about 7 to 9 years and is practiced with some degree of consistency by UBF chapters around the world. One question though: What do you do after Stage 6? The expectation is that you live as a lifelong UBF loyalist and recruiter.

Based on this director training presentation and my own experience at ubf for 24 years, I came up with this matrix that explains the ubf discipleship training model. One problem (as Forests already pointed out) is that this model does not do well with independent, critical thinkers. So the stages sometimes get messed up. In the past, that is where dead dog training would kick in (sometimes with physical violence) to “produce” a more tame sheep who could then be trained more easily in this system.

“But the proper aim of giving is to put the recipient in a state where he no longer needs our gift. We feed children in order that they may soon be able to feed themselves; we teach them in order that they may soon not need our teaching. Gift-love…must work towards its own abdication. We must aim at making ourselves superfluous. The hour when we can say ‘They need me no longer’ shall be our reward. But (this) instinct…has no power to fulfill this law. The instinct desires the good of its object, but… A much higher love–a love which desires the good of the object as such, from whatever source that good comes–must step in and help or tame the instinct before it can make the abdication. And of course it often does. But where it does not, the ravenous need to be needed will gratify itself either by keeping its objects needy or by inventing for them imaginary needs.”

Applying this to leaders, shepherds, pastors, and Bible teachers, I would say the following:

Good Bible teachers make themselves unneeded. A good leader, Bible teacher, shepherd and pastor makes himself or herself unneeded. He or she make themselves expendable, dispensable, nonessential and superfluous. A good Bible teacher teaches so well until the student no longer needs the teacher to keep having to teach them. C.S. Lewis says, “we teach them in order that they may soon not need our teaching.” A good Bible teacher mentors, disciples and teach others so well such that the student can lead and teach the Bible independently of their teacher. The best Bible teachers inspire their Bible students to love God and to love the Bible and to become personally motivated and inspired to study the Bible for themselves. Basically the best Bible teachers work themselves out of a job. The best Bible teachers produce independent leaders and self-motivated learners. In contrast, poor leaders produce dependent leaders who do not have the confidence or courage to take risks and to make decisions on their own. Why does this happen?

Inferior Bible teachers refuse to release their student. They do not abdicate. In contrast to good teachers, suboptimal Bible teachers always cause their students to feel as though they desperately need them to always be their Bible teacher and shepherd all the days of their life. I heard about a 62 year old Bible teacher telling his 61 year old Bible student, “You must obey me because you have been my sheep for 40 years.” Based on his words, he still insists on demanding that his Bible student obeys him as his Bible teacher. He has refused to release his Bible student even after 4 decades and even after they are both grand-fathers. I cannot say that he is a good Bible teacher that others should learn from.

The problem with bad leaders is their need to be needed as leaders. C.S. Lewis explains this most eloquently: “…the ravenous need to be needed will gratify itself either by keeping its objects needy or by inventing for them imaginary needs.” Bad leaders make their students feel as though they cannot function independently of their leader. They make their students feel as though they always need their leader and teacher to lead them and to teach them even after many decades.

Have you experienced good teachers who make themselves unneeded? Or have you experienced needy teachers who make you feel as though you cannot succeed without them?

Lacking nothing

A charmed life. Recently I told a friend that I feel a little guilty (but not too much!) that I am just so darn happy. I feel content and too blessed by God virtually every day. I live such a charmed (and easy) life in perhaps the greatest country in the world. Being semi-retired from being a doctor, I spend every day doing what I want: preparing for my next sermon, reading books and blogs, writing, commenting and blogging, and these days I am binge-watching the first four seasons of The Good Wife on Amazon Prime! I hardly ever truly suffer, apart from encountering the daily annoyances of life, which is inevitable.

Bitter and angry. My friend seemed surprised when I expressed how happy I was. Perhaps the impression is that I am angry, bitter and discontented because of my dissatisfaction regarding issues I write about on UBFriends. Yes, some issues raised here are exasperating and frustrating. But even such annoyances adds tremendous fun and spice to my life! This is so simply because the Lord is my shepherd, who watches over me as my fortress, my rock, my deliverer, my shield, my salvation and my stronghold (Ps 18:2).

Bad shepherding. Peter says to his fellow elders, “Be shepherds of God’s flock” (1 Pet 5:2). Jesus says to Peter to take care of Jesus’ sheep (Jn 21:15-17). As with everything in life, shepherding people can be done well or poorly; it can be carried out with humility and condescension or with selfishness and elitism. Last year, someone asked me the question: “How may UBF communicate the best practice of shepherding”? My short answer is that good shepherding NEVER violates or imposes upon another person, just as Jesus never imposed himself on others against their will and free choice (Rev 3:20). Also, the father of the prodigal son did not impose himself on his two lost sons (Lk 15:11-32). Shepherding in the church always goes wrong when we impose our wish dream on others, or when we do not give people their freedom (cf. 2 Cor 3:17; Gal 5:1), usually through coercion, intimidation or bullying.

Pastor becomes God. Bad shepherding or pastoring happens when the human shepherd or pastor becomes like God and functionally and practically takes the place of God in the life of the person(s) being shepherded. For instance, this can happen if the shepherd is the one who decides if and when an adult can or cannot date, or if and when they can or cannot marry, to mention but two unquestioned implicit practices in UBF. Yes, many happy marriages have resulted, including mine. But in my opinion, dating and marriage policies should be seriously addressed, discussed and corrected in the church. It is because of the ongoing unhealthy authoritarian abuses, favoritism, discrimination, classism, politicking, control and manipulation that such practices have produced. Countless examples have already be given on this website.

The Lord alone is your shepherd. I am not advocating rebellion, disrespect or anarchy toward your human shepherd. But not all shepherding is Christ-like. Good shepherding should allow for critical thinking, disagreements and for creating a safe place (like UBFriends) where anyone can freely speak up and speak out. Consider some random questions:

1. Does expressing my happiness come across like bragging?
2. Are you happy because you sense and know that the Lord alone is your shepherd?
3. Are you unhappy because you experience your human shepherd trying to control you and tell you how to live?

Is ordination is a waste of time?

Many questions arose in my mind after resigning from being a ubf director. Are Christian pastors neglecting God’s world mission command? Is doctrinal study useless? For may years while at ubf, my opinion of ordained Christian pastors was poor, to say the least. All of us ubf shepherds I knew shared a similar attitude: Ordination is not necessary and even a waste of time. We also shared the opinion that most, if not all, Christian pastors outside of ubf were selfish sinners who were neglecting God’s world mission command to feed Jesus’ sheep. We viewed ourselves as the “true Shepherds”. We held onto our Shepherd X identity so strongly that we could not conceive the idea that ordained pastors had anything of real value to offer the world. I remember being so proud of that idea that we had almost all college students in our ministry, while those ordained pastors focused on old people and neglected the youth of our generation. I recall vividly the idea that we ubf Shepherds (always spelled with a capital S) had the pure, untainted bible messages because we didn’t waste time with commentaries, books or foolish ordination doctrines. Christian doctrine, we thought, just got in the way and caused divisions. Besides, the teachings of Jesus are so obvious and simple to understand. What really matters is what we do… or so I thought.

Are Psychology and Philosophy distractions from God’s mission?

The first thing that struck me from interacting with Christian pastors is their respect and knowledge of psychology and philosophy. They really knew how to interact and communicate with other human beings. These pastors respected me and my perspective. They listened to my opinions. They shared frankly with me. They spoke God’s word to me. They befriended me. One of them ate with me in a bar. Not one of them violated my conscience. Not one of them intruded into my emotions. Not one of them disrespected my autonomy. And every one of them respected my claim to be a Christian. In short, these Christian pastors entered my life the proper way, through Jesus the door for the sheep.

The pastors I met are all deeply committed to knowing the bible and their knowledge of psychology and philosophy greatly enhanced their understanding of the bible, contrary to what I had always thought, namely that such things were distractions from bible study. Realizing this made me see myself in a new light. I was not some superior Shepherd Brian who knew more about obeying Jesus than Christian pastors. I was just some guy who read the bible text a lot. I discovered that my disdain for psychology and philosophy and doctrinal study and ordination was what kept me as an amateur leader and immature Christian. This helped me see that the ubf heritage is not some world-class training system, but an ideological system that is vastly inferior to the systems the Christian church has employed over the years. I found also that I had become disconnected from the rich, diverse, and magnificent historical fabric of Christianity.

Jesus is the Shepherd

The other big thing I noticed from my interactions with Christian pastors is their kingdom attitude. They all surrendered to our Lord Jesus Christ. None of them demanded my obedience or asked for my submission to their authority. It was clear from my interactions that Jesus is both Lord and Savior.

And thus my grand experiment was over. Sometime in 2010, I had decided to find out if my shepherds in ubf were Christian pastors. I asked questions. I spoke frankly. I attempted to interact just the way I did later on with the Christian pastors. What I found at ubf was a lot of hired hands. Almost everyone abandoned me when I expressed my honest thoughts and feelings too much. Of course, then things got ugly as the “Karcher” in me kicked in. But after interacting with Christian pastors outside of ubf, I  am fully convinced that such a thing would never have escalated to the bitter heights that my interactions with ubf shepherds escalated to. Christian pastors would have reacted very very differently from the ubf leaders.

So today I ask anyone in ubf to do the same experiment. At your next testimony sharing, share your honest thoughts, feelings and perspectives. Say what you want to say. Declare Jesus as Lord and Savior, and that Jesus alone has all authority and power and glory. Begin respecting the door to the sheep, Jesus. Start connecting with Christian pastors on the campus, in the city you live in.

Oh and one more bit of advice. If any ubfer wants to learn about how to become a Christian pastor, please visit pastor Ben Toh at Westloop Church. Then take a trip to Penn State :)

John 10:1-21 ESV

“Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber. 2 But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. 3 To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. 5 A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” 6 This figure of speech Jesus used with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them.

7 So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. 17 For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.”

19 There was again a division among the Jews because of these words. 20 Many of them said, “He has a demon, and is insane; why listen to him?” 21 Others said, “These are not the words of one who is oppressed by a demon. Can a demon open the eyes of the blind?”

Breaking the yoke of undue religious influence

Undue influence. What does that mean? Why does it become a yoke that is harmful to the human soul? How can someone break free from such a yoke? Such questions deserve much deeper thought, and will become the subject of my future books. In today’s narrative, I aim only to introduce the concept and then tell part of my life story.

Undue influence is influence by which a person is induced to act otherwise than by their own free will or without adequate attention to the consequences. The word “undue” is important in this definition. When some force is undue, that force is unwarranted or inappropriate because it is excessive or disproportionate to the object of that force. Sometimes that force is actually a weak force, like the tether on an adult elephant that had existed since the elephant was young. The power of undue religious influence may not be in its coercion but in its perception. Such influence may be carried out not by actual force, but by perceived force or imagined consequences.

Some undue influence might be easily identifiable because the influence is so over-the-top that no person would accept such influence under normal circumstances. An example of obvious undue influence would be a kidnapping of someone and taking them to a concentration camp. We can rather universally recognize this kind of undue influence as being harmful and wrong. Most undue influence in the religious realm however is more difficult to identify. The influence that one person can handle safely may in fact be undue influence on a different person who cannot handle that kind of influence at that time. Such confusion and subtlety often allows the perpetrators of undue influence to justify their abusive tactics because they can point to some examples of successful transformation due to their influence. In some cases, the influence falls into the blind spot of the perpetrators, so that they don’t even realize they are causing undue influence on someone.

My Unholy Devotion To Religion

After my father’s death, I threw myself into the UBF lifestyle. I adopted Ed and the Korean man as my spiritual fathers. The UBF community became my family. The leaders became my spiritual parents. This meant that I would submit my entire life to being trained by my UBF shepherds. That is the UBF way—every member must have a shepherd. The shepherds are self-appointed and choose the sheep they want. A chance meeting on campus meant that it was God’s divine will that you become the sheep of that person. This shepherd sheep relationship was meant to be lifelong, and would even persist into heaven we thought. So I would be eternally submissive to my UBF shepherd out of a desire to be a preacher for God. This provided me with the safety and security and protection I was looking for. I used the UBF community to replace what I lost in my father and to escape the dark reality of life around me. I hid myself in the UBF ideologies, escaping every minute I could to read the bible and avoid the real world. And so my desire to be a preacher for God was born.
Soon I wrote and shared my UBF life testimony, boldly declaring praise to God for my father who had found salvation in Jesus. And around this time I discovered the deep faith of my grandparents, especially my grandmother. She loved my life testimony. She made several paper copies and mailed them the friends and family all over the country. She also made copies of the video of my sharing and played it for all her friends at church. She told me I should be a preacher someday.

My grandparents became a foundation of Christian faith for me. I have always been encouraged by their faithful, devoted and explicit belief in Jesus and their unconditional love for people. They had opinions about politics, religions and the like, but for them, goodness reigned supreme. My grandma was therefore very concerned about UBF right from the start. She always told me that bible study is good, but too much bible study is like too much salt when you cook. God’s messages are about love. We can’t forget God’s love and we can never forget our family. Looking back I wonder how she and the rest of my family endured my 24 years of UBF life. But their goodness and their love was the buoy that always righted my ship.

New Friends, Bold Decisions, Restored Relationships

The big event of our lives happened in 2011. To make a long story short: We left UBF. This means nothing to most people. Leaving a church? Not a big deal. But leaving UBF is different. It equates to losing your salvation because UBF requires each person to be loyally submitted to a UBF shepherd, usually a Korean. But finally I had enough. I began to fear the bitterness, depression and anger in my soul more than any retribution from God or from UBF shepherds. So I resigned.

We sent shockwaves throughout the 6,000 member organization worldwide. I had not intended to leave UBF. I actually just wanted to find out some answers the problems a dozen or so of my friends in UBF had been confiding in me since moving to Detroit. But I finally had enough of pretending to be a holy soldier. So I sent a report into my shepherd telling him my honest feelings. That didn’t go over so well. Within two hours of receiving my report via email, he called me. I could tell he was angry. He told me any problems in UBF were none of my business. He further said that any spiritual deadness I had been observing was because I was the one who was spiritually dead. As soon as I hung up the phone, I experienced the Holy Spirit come alive in me like never before. I suddenly knew God had a purpose for me: expose the problematic dark side of UBF. I saw clearly that UBF suffered from the same authority-based problems that the Shepherding Movement did in the 1970’s in America. In an instant my mind was released from the bondage of guilt and all the abuses in UBF I had ignored or dismissed came to mind.

I then embarked on an amazing journey of recovery from the controlling, guilt-ridden, shame-soaked life we had lived in UBF. I was done with the holy soldier façade. This journey was not so different from the journey of Pi in the movie “Life of Pi” or Truman in the movie “The Truman Show” or the blind girl in the M. Night Shyamalan movie “The Village”. In fact I began watching many movies, especially children’s movies, because I found so many connections with the characters in the movies, such as Tangled. I felt I was Repunzel being set free from her castle tower! Finally I was at peace.

The most exciting part of this journey for me has been connecting with people at Grace Community Church in Detroit. That first lunch with pastor Bryan was an important reality check for me, one that helped me realize there are many Christians outside UBF (imagine that!). Attending the 6:00 am bible study led by pastor Wayne was eye-opening. It was his “Be Armed” series that corrected a lot of false teaching I had picked up. I realized then that for all my thousands of hours of bible study, I had never learned the basic doctrines of Christianity. Even as I continue go through a transformational paradigm-shift in my faith, those basic doctrines hold true and provide an anchor for my faith.

Pastor Wayne baptized me on April 29, 2012. I had decided to be baptized as a way to confirm that I had left UBF had given my life to be a Christ-follower. I’ll never forget pastor Wayne’s words to me just before going under: “You are now free form the teachings of one man.” Now I’m glad to be part of pastor Wayne’s intercessory prayer team, praying for Renewal Church and his new role there. Grace Community Church became a safe house for me and our family. Pastor Bryan was a God-send to my wife and I. His sermons were so full of love, goodness and humor—and so deeply drawn from the well of grace and love—that each Sunday my soul mended a little more.

My wife and I joined a bible study group with Pastor Bryan. And we were utterly shocked to discover what genuine Christian teaching was all about. We found that we had been taught a Christianized form of Eastern philosophy, which continues to be one of our biggest problems. Through Pastor Bryan’s help and the help of our newfound Christian community, our family is being healed day by day. Now my wife and I are renewing our relationship, going on dates, finding out each other’s character and making up for nearly 20 years of lost time.

There is much that the author is thankful for in University Bible Fellowship, such as going to Bible Conferences in other countries, the love bombing in her early days, and the Bible studies. These things I am very thankful to God for as well. She mentioned that when she finally became free she never lost her faith in God but learned to serve God in different way free from all the pressure and control and undue influence.

I noticed a few common things that she shared in her book that really drives home the real issues in University Bible Fellowship that must be addressed and be changed if University Bible Fellowship is to become healthy and be a healthy ministry. These same points are addressed in Brian’s books and the one we wrote together as well.

First, She saw family life in University Bible Fellowship.

She mentioned as she took a closer look at the families in UBF she noticed that they were abusive and unhealthy. I saw the same thing in our ministry in Cincinnati UBF as well as in my own family. She noticed that kids were pressured to live in the University Bible Fellowship community and parents did not spend time with them but left them to others to take care of so that they could raise disciples of Jesus. This changed her perspective completely and contributed to her leaving UBF after being a member for 3 years in the Canadian chapter. She did not want to raise an unhealthy and unbalanced family.

I strongly urge UBF members to love and take care of their families and if can’t do so and do ministry then leave UBF immediately. Please do not abuse your children under the banner of love and ministry.

Second, She saw pressure to marry in UBF.

This is a sure sign of an unhealthy ministry. Throughout her book you can see how she had to suppress her feelings and live under the direct influence of her Bible teacher. This caused emotional anxiety and trauma to her life that is abusive in nature. UBF makes marriage out to be some kind of fantasy world where you will be eternally happy with the partner they choose for you because they are God’s servants and they know what is best for you. I lived in this illusion and dream until I got married in UBF and realized I married someone who did not like the ministry as I thought and only stayed with me because of our children. I realized that the marriages in UBF can be very abusive in the sense that you marry under pressure and someone who does not understand that they will often be expected to sacrifice their family to feed into the UBF propaganda machine. It is not real.

Yes, there are some good marriages but much is cover up. One young man in Cincinnati UBF left his wife and children, he was one of my shepherds, to spend his life with a same sex partner. These stories are covered up and never talked about.

Third, She saw that she was not her real self.

She describes it as an out of body experience in her book. It was nice to read a book from a woman’s perspective for a change. She saw that the longer she stayed in UBF the more and more activities were thrown on her life to seize unhealthy control of her life until she ended up in depression and even fainted a few times at work and in a library a few times where she worked.

Finally, she got the courage to leave. I strongly encourage anyone who is in University Bible Fellowship to read her book to just explore these issues in a loving way. I can see that she did not write this book to bash UBF but with a sincere and loving desire to come to terms with her life and to find healing for herself. In the same way, Brian and I wrote our stories with the same purpose. There is no money to be made in writing books but much time and effort in writing. These love letters must be read, I promise you that you will learn more here than staying up all night half asleep listening to repetitive and boring testimonies. Isabelle Renaud is our sister in Christ and she deserves to heard in the University Bible Fellowship community.

Today our new Friend submitted a thoughtful, heartfelt and well-articulated article entitled “What next?” I want to share my response as an article instead of a comment because I have far too many emotions and thoughts racing through my veins. I am both excited and encouraged to read Friend’s thoughts. But I don’t want to go backward in my journey. I have asked myself that question thousands of times the past three years since resigning from UBF on July 4th, 2011. What do I do now? UBF shepherds promised to make my name great like Abraham, to train me to be a world-class leader, to learn how to be a Christian missionary and how to deeply study the bible. Those promises turned out to be a mirage for me. I have no idea and no authority to determine what is next for UBF ministry or people. What I can do is concern about what is next for me and my family. Here are my thoughts.

Cultural and Emotional Healing

I am far from a world-class leader. After leaving UBF I found that I could barely speak my own language fluently. I had lost the ability to speak and think at “American-speed”. In order to survive my UBF tenure of 24 years, my emotions had been bound up and stored away in a dark corner of my heart. My conscience had been cut out in order to sustain the massive amount of cognitive dissonance it required to enable and propagate the KOPHN fantasy. So I will continue my quest to restore my American identity, connect with my Roman Catholic roots, rejuvenate my emotions and restore my conscience.

Writing Books!

One of the reasons I stayed in  UBF that I discovered through writing my second book is that I have a massive desire for self-glory and fame. UBF fed this desire well. So well in fact that after leaving UBF I became the infamous detractor, and most vocal critic. That is the lot of all of us who seek fame– infamy awaits. I decided however to turn this into something good. I discovered the joy of writing books. Today Amazon published my second. Here are the links to my books:

•  Goodness Found: The Butterfly Narratives (paperback | Kindle)
  Publication date: May 12, 2014

• Rest Unleashed: The Raven Narratives (paperback | Kindle)
  Publication date: March 26, 2014

More Books about UBF

What is next for UBF ministry is uncertain. UBF is at a crossroads. What is certain is that more and more publicity is headed UBF’s way. There have been many internet testimonies and some TV interviews at places like Chicago UBF and Toledo UBF. Now there will be more and more books published about people’s experiences at UBF.

• I Choose: Subtlety in Cults, Isabelle Renaud (Kindle)
  Publication Date: November 30, 2013
  

“I wrote this book to explain how easily someone can get trapped in a controlling group or relationship. This book is not about religion, it is about the organizational structure and emotional manipulation. It is about finding yourself after losing yourself.

Isabelle was in university when she entered a Christian group called University Bible Fellowship. During the following years, she acquired her experience on cults while spending three years in UBF and working for various community organizations.”

First, notice that sections of the italicized definition are pasted below and numbered, followed by questions/comments that can help expose the underlined errors therein and (perhaps incompletely) point to some more biblical perspectives.

Second, a much better definition of the church (by no means the only one), is provided. I adapted this definition from a class on Ecclesiology at Reformed Baptist Seminary with Greg Nichols. I loved his class because he drew on no other sources than the scriptures (as will be evident).

Third, I will suggest positive steps for UBF’s future, pointing out that UBF shouldn’t identify itself as a local church (in form) while it almost exclusively operates as a para-church (in function). Based on concepts from 9Marks, I suggest UBF either fully commit to para-church life, or reform into an association of local churches.

UBF is close to my heart, and I love many who still serve therein. So I write this to promote what scripture says about church life. Also, I write this not only to be polemical, but to promote a careful readership that refuses to take simplistic statements at face value, but rather puts everything under scripture’s scrutiny. My purpose is to stir the waters, so that what seemed clear becomes muddy, so that thinking Christians would once again “go back to the Bible.” I hope to encourage even more elaboration.

1. A Bad Definition of Church on UBF’s new Heritage Website

1) UBF definition: “Church is a group of believers.”

This definition seems true on the surface, but hidden beneath is an over-simplification. Believers all throughout church history have wrestled with whether a true local church only needs a group of believers, or whether there needs to be an ordained elder present who can perform Baptism and the Lord’s Supper. So this statement is overly simplistic, overlooking the sincere struggles of those in the historical church who grappled with this question. When I invite Christian friends over for tea and Twinkies, does that form a church? At the simplest level, a church is not only a gathering, but an assembly that performs the ordinances of Baptism and the Lord’s Supper (John 4:24; 1 Cor. 14:23-25; Heb. 13:15, Acts 2:41, 10:47, 48; 1 Cor. 10:16, 17, 11:25).

2) UBF definition continued: “So it is diverse in that every believer is unique, yet is one in that every believer has many things in common, notably faith (Eph. 4:4,5). The church was formed when Jesus ascended into heaven. About one hundred and twenty people gathered in Jerusalem, stayed in one place, and prayed together waiting for the Holy Spirit Jesus had promised (Acts 1:14). After the Holy Spirit came upon them Peter spoke boldly about Jesus in front of the public. On that day about three thousand were added to the church (Acts 1:41). The church bounded in number (Acts 2:47). As the church expanded, she faced many problems as well. For example, she had to care for widows that had not been the plan of the church. To handle many practical problems in the early church the Apostles appointed seven stewards (Acts 6:5). No Apostles had any blue print on running the church as an organization.”

This statement does not do justice to scripture or to church history. If there was no blueprint on running churches, why do the Pastoral Epistles exist (1-2 Timothy, Titus)? Why does Paul tell Timothy to “Guard what has been entrusted to him” (1 Tim 6:20) and proceed to give him and Titus instructions on church structure, elders and deacons, and procedures to guide church life? What was Timothy to guard? What else did Paul mean by “the tradition they received from us” (2 Thess. 3:6)? The apostles DID HAVE A BLUEPRINT, and they got it from the Lord Jesus Christ, the master architect of his church. From whom do you think Paul learned these traditions pertaining to the church? As professing Christians, we must seek to structure our local churches after that design, found not in our tastes, preferences, or imaginations, but in scripture.

Also, there is a scriptural contradiction by using Acts 6 in the above paragraph. If the apostles had no blueprint, then why were deacons chosen in order for the apostles to better devote their time to prayer and the word? Obviously there were some priorities and pre-defined roles for leadership already at this early stage in church history.

3) UBF definition continued: “The church was the outcome of their devotion to world mission.”

Again, an aspect of truth is here, but it is imbalanced and potentially misleading. Largely, this is a theological and biblical error, for the church was not the outcome of human devotion, but of Christ’s personal building project (Matt 16:18). God chose and gave to Christ the elect, the group believers of all time who would belong to him and believe in him (John 17:6, 24; Eph. 1:4; 1 Pet 1:1-2). Christ himself planned and ordained and built his church, and had in mind certain aspects and features for its well-being, and he still governs and shepherds it today, in particular, tangible ways. So, the church and world mission was the outcome of God keeping his promise to Abraham, that his seed (Israel>David>Christ: the True Israel and True David) would bless the nations—NOT because of the devotion of the apostles to world mission.

4) UBF definition continued: “So the infrastructure of the church was flexible and adaptable as needed.“

Again, see #3 above. What scriptural support is cited for this statement? The church has been very INFLEXIBLE throughout the ages, again, because Christ has been guarding it. Hasn’t the church’s history been replete with heretics being thrown out, of reformations, of wrestling with and clarifying true biblical doctrines? If anything, one of evangelicalism’s biggest scandals is that it HAS BEEN TOO FLEXIBLE AND ADAPTABLE, often not in line with scripture by the leading of the Sovereign Church Director Jesus Christ. Rather, it has been FLEXED by the cultural prejudices, whims, trends, and tastes of the society around it. The apostles and church members are not those who “adapt the church as needed.” The Lord Jesus Christ actively administers and governs all true local churches today, and at any time He sovereignly chooses, He can remove a church’s lampstand (Rev 2-3).

5) UBF definition continued: “As time passed, the church took its own course and made its own shape. For example, it became the imperial state church by AD 400. At her climax around AD 1200 every person born in Europe was born into one church – the Catholic. Then the religious reformation came and the church was diversified into many independent organizations. The UBF has become one of them.”

See #4 above. Also, the church never “takes its own course.” This is a sad characterization of the church that is instituted, built, nurtured, and led by the Lord Jesus (c.f., Matt 16:18).

Furthermore, this statement jumps from the Protestant Reformation (the one that gave us Luther, Calvin, Zwingli, Whitefield, Packer, Stott, Edwards, Owens—the rest of the puritans—Keller, Piper, Carson, etc.) to UBF! Shouldn’t we want to listen to how the Holy Spirit throughout the centuries taught and led these reformers to come to fuller, more biblical, and more Christ-centered understandings of the gospel? Wouldn’t it be arrogant to assume that we have the biblically true church design, while never having learned from these Bible teachers?

I think it’s a great disservice to the casual reader (who will not study church history beyond this paragraph) to say the reformation’s only effect on the world was to make “many independent organizations” (!). Calvin would cry at this. Luther would shout! The reformation GAVE US BACK THE GOSPEL that had been lost (sorry for the oversimplification).

One last thing: this bad definition of church neglects a discussion of CHURCH MEMBERSHIP, which, at the time of writing this article, UBF currently does not have. The word “member” is on the page 3 times, but UBF provides no guidelines/requirements for membership. This is very dangerous, since lack of membership creates difficulty for loving church discipline to be intentionally and consistently carried out, and it creates opportunities for those who hold heretical viewpoints to rise in popularity and influence within UBF chapters. Also, because

1. Scripture explicitly affirms church membership (Eph 4:25, 5:29-30)

2. Pastoral care mandates church membership (Acts 20:28-32)

3. Church discipline mandates church membership (Matt 18:15-18)

4. Joining the church mandates church membership (Acts 9:25-30)

Look up the references and study for yourself.

2. A Better Definition of “Church”—in one very long sentence (with scripture references)

What follows is a better definition of the church, adapted from an excellent class I took on Ecclesiology with Greg Nichols. It’s one LONG sentence. Be sure to study the scripture references.

The Church is Christ’s saved society…

… PURPOSED in God’s eternal plan and solemn pledge of salvation (Eph. 3:10; 2 Thess. 1:1, 4-5; Gen. 3:15);

which was PORTRAYED in supernatural creation; in covenant promises of salvation, and in John’s gospel commencement (Rom. 5:14, Isa. 54:9-10; Heb. 12:22, John 4:1-2);

which was FORMED through salvation accomplished and applied by Christ (Matt. 16:18, Acts 20:28),

in its Identity: God’s new creation (Christ’s body, bride, and posterity), the covenant community (his children, people, kingdom, temple, and priesthood), and Christ’s gospel assembly of glorified spirits in heaven and of his disciples on earth (Rom. 5:14-19, Isa. 54:9, Isa. 53:9; Heb. 2:13-14, Rom. 9:6, 24-26; Matt. 21:43; Col. 1:13; Eph. 5:24-33 Acts 11:26, 19:32-41);

in its Extraordinary form: structured collectively as one universal assembly consisting of many local assemblies and disciples (Gal. 1:13, 22)

and distinguished by seven prominent features;

instituted personally by Christ (Matt. 16:18);

composed evangelically of believers in Christ (Acts 2:47, 5:14, 14:21-23);

administered universally by Christ, his Spirit, and apostles, locally by elders and deacons (Eph. 5:23; Col. 1:18, Acts 13:2, Acts 16:4; 1 Cor. 7:17, Acts 14:23, 20:17, 28; Phil. 1:1; 1 Tim. 3:8-13);

constituted solemnly by divine covenant with Christ’s blood symbolized in the Lord ’s Supper (1 Cor. 10:16, 17, 11:25; Heb. 8:6-13);

consecrated by endowment with God’s Spirit;

convoked weekly on the Lord’s Day (Acts 1:5; 1 Cor. 3:16, Exod. 20:8; Acts 20:7);

and commissioned to display God’s glory in Christian salvation and integration (Acts 11:26; Eph. 3:5-10);

in its Sacred vocation (upward, inward, outward), appointed and endowed by Christ

to draw near to God in worship, ordinances (Baptism and the Lord’s Supper), and prayer (John 4:24; 1 Cor. 14:23-25; Heb. 13:15, Acts 2:41, 10:47, 48; 1 Cor. 10:16,17, 11:25, 1 Tim. 2:1-8);

to love God’s people by nurture, benevolence, and discipline (John 13:34-35, 1 Tim. 5:16, Matt. 18:17; 1 Cor. 5:1-13);

and to love humanity by gospel evangelism (Matt. 28:18-20);

and in its Institutional relations  within the Nohaic covenant community, a compliment to family and state (Matt. 19:3-12; Eph. 5:22-24, Rom. 13:1-7);

which is PRESERVED throughout its militant history through the gospel application of salvation in every generation in spiritual warfare with the world, sin, devil, death, and hell, through great apostasy, and with a gospel recovery (Matt. 16:18; Eph. 3:21, 6:10-18, 2 Thess. 2:3-12; 1 Tim. 4:1-2, Acts 3:19-21; Rom. 11:17-32);

and which WILL BE GLORIFIED at its triumphant destiny in the completion of salvation with ultimate victory (1 Cor. 15:25-26), with translation unto glory, and with eternal life (Eph. 5:27; 1 Thess. 4:13-17).

Here’s a quick summary of the definition: The church is Christ’s saved society: purposed in God’s eternal plan and solemn pledge of salvation, portrayed in covenant promises of salvation, formed in Christ’s accomplishment of salvation, preserved through the gospel application of salvation, and glorified in the completion of salvation.

I hope that readers of this will at least go through the scripture references. If not even that, please take away from this that the first paragraph on the web page cited contains a biblically and church-historically inaccurate definition of the church. Then, the web site attempts to proceed in argument from this definition to justify the structure of UBF. However, careful readers should expose and question the errors of this definition, so that what proceeds from it may also be found biblically baseless. And it’s okay to publish an article on your organization’s structure. But it’s not okay to make it seem like your organization’s structure is supported by biblical teaching, especially when the way you use the bible verses and narrate church history is imbalanced and misleading.

3. My Hope for UBF’s Future

My wife and I lived with, cried with, grew with, and were nurtured by people in UBF for over 9.5 years! We love them, so everything written here should be understood from that viewpoint. So, in recognition of the scriptural definition of the church above, it is my sincere hope and prayer (I actually have been praying this for 3 years) that UBF refrain from identifying itself as a local church (in its outward form) while it continues being essentially a para-church organization (in its day-to-day function). (See 9Marks Journal, April 2011 issue for a distinction on church vs. para-church organizations.)

In particular, UBF should either:

1. Commit to being only a para-church organization. UBF should shift its major focus to protecting, supporting, promoting and nurturing nearby local churches, sending those it evangelizes on campuses eventually to nearby local churches; by sending out trained, seasoned shepherds/house churches to serve nearby local churches; and by requiring all UBF participants to have membership, or at least associate membership, in a local church; OR UBF should

2. Commit to being an association of autonomous local churches. UBF should “reform” into an association of autonomous local churches (UBF chapters–> local churches), each of which develops:

1) local church polity for members, deacons, and pastors/elders (a church constitution), ordination and preaching-license requirements;

2) membership requirements, and especially a church discipline covenant; and

3) a doctrinal confession that not only includes traditional evangelical beliefs  but articulates clearly and adduces scriptural support for all of UBF’s uniquely-nuanced-yet-unwritten practices. Provide written/published explanations of expectations for members, and scriptural support for terms/concepts like marriage by faith, fishing, one-to-one bible study, common life, the polarization of grace and truth, the use of the term “sheep” to refer indistinguishably to believers and unbelievers, etc.—so that expectations and concepts are explicitly and verbally articulated rather than only implicitly and nonverbally infused in the behavior/culture of UBF.

These are just (imperfect) suggestions that I’ve been thinking/praying to God about. I defer to God to do exceedingly and abundantly more than I can ask or imagine. But whatever changes take place, I pray that those who do them are motivated by the fact that the Church is wholly the possession and the executive responsibility of Jesus Christ, and His church exists to display his glory in its upward, inward, and outward vocation. Then UBF, committing either to Christ-centered para-church or to local church life, would have, I believe, a much greater impact in its intended mission.

Remember, when you write a definition of “church,” you are writing about Christ’s bride, whom He looks after, and is jealous for. I’d be careful how I write about someone’s bride. So, just stick to the New Testament’s teaching on it, which came from Christ himself (Jn 16:13; 14:26; 15:26, 27).

The New UBF Heritage saving website

Here is it:   http://history.ubfservice.com/

Factual history?

Will this new website contain any factual ubf history? Will it include the reform events of 1976, 1989, 2000 and 2011? Will there be any mention of Ben’s Westloop chapter?

The Purpose

“Our mission is to promote and facilitate the publication of UBF history. We have chosen Luke 1:1-4 as our guide. History is classified in various ways. For example, it is classified by age, geography, nation or topics such as politics and economics. We classify our history by four areas: reports, chapters, people and heritage. Reports are written documents on current events. Those become part of history as years pass. Chapter history is about its birth, growth and development. It is the building block for regional, national and world history. It includes evaluation of the past for future. People history is the biography of individual. Heritage is what happened in the past, remains today and shapes our future.”

The Heritage

If you don’t know the ubf heritage or wonder what ubf Koreans are doing, study this website.

“During the last half-century UBF has built its own heritage. It is well summarized by our mottoes – known as Samuel Lee’s Spiritual Legacy. For example, writing and sharing testimony have been unique to our church, since no other churches practice it as much as we do. When Samuel Lee ministered students, he helped them to write what they have learned from the Bible and his manuscripts on the Bible, and share it with others. It took time for them to pray, meditate and write testimonies, but they grew spiritually through writing and sharing testimonies. Many of us not only have witnessed its power, but also practiced it”

Good intentions?

“As time passes, we face new challenges in passing our heritage to next generation. For example, some do not view the testimony as effective and useful as before. What is worse, some view it as a means to oppress their life and suppress their critical and creative thoughts. It is quite the opposite to its original intention – to nurture their spiritual life, shape their thought world godly, and lead them to enjoy true freedom in Christ. In resolving unwanted conflicts, some prefer to use the word “reflection” to restore the original purpose and spur its practice. So it is worthwhile to have open discussion on its purpose and method.”

Fresh thought and critical review?

“We have accumulated wonderful heritage. But making it useful and effective in our ministry requires sometimes fresh thought and critical review. We would like to collect materials related our heritage and share them through our web site so that they are useful in guarding our heritage.”

Here is my critical review… I will explain more in my second book, but this shepherding ideology is dangerous and harmful. My further thoughts on the ubf heritage are on my personal blog.

My heritage summary:

Paul’s letter to the Galatians concludes that we must boast not in our works, or even in the marks on our body but in Christ. Let us boast of our savior. I thought it interesting that it was not said that Peter “believed” that justification came from works in addition to our faith. But that he acted as if it did. Paul says “When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter in front of all of them ‘You are a Jew, yet you live like gentile and not like a Jew. How is it then that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs?” Peter putting an undue emphasis on circumcision added to the gospel without realizing it. Similarly if we put undue emphasis on fishing, 1-1 bible study, going to campus, restricting dating among singles, marriage by faith, testimony writing, preparing bible study notes, message training, using ‘one word’, raising disciples, attending all bible conferences, addressing people with titles, or running all major life choices through our personal shepherd and obeying his directive in all aspects we add to the gospel, which as Paul states “is no gospel at all”. The Christian who does such things truly deserves to be fed to lions. Paul says “let him be eternally condemned”.

The more I consider myself the more I realize legalism is a natural bent for myself. Legalism is very attractive because it makes the gospel readily obtainable and manageable. If I am attending church every Sunday and never missing bible study I can say to myself “I am justified.” But our gospel is not so obtainable, because it is already obtained for us. The works we do not make us good, the good in us- which is Christ- makes us good. I spoke to my Muslim student last week. A student had asked her about her head scarf and she said she was required to wear it. I asked “I thought the Koran gave no law. It says to be modest and that is why you wear it.” She agreed and tried to invite me to her mosque. She explained that if we prayed 7 times a day and attended mosque faithfully we would be given “a mark” that would save us. I realized this is how many Christians view the gospel, but it is not gospel at all.

Some Christians may counter this claim by citing passages were Jesus allows some of his followers to go because they did not want to worship him. We may as easily concluding that it is correct to doubt God when Christ said “God why have you forsaken me.” God can doubt God, Christ can turn us over to our sinful desires. But I am moved by Paul “Am I now trying to win the approval of men of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Paul’s last comment in his letter is for us not to stop doing good. We cannot use our justification as a reason not to do works. Undue pressure produces outward fruit, but never inward fruit, which is what our Lord desires. He does not want works, but the person who on his account wants to do them. How could our God need anything? He has everything. He has everything except our love and devotion until we give it to him.

My natural bent for legalism must recognize this and with the Holy Spirit I must be transformed by constantly turning my back on the world for his sake. All those who disobey Paul’s words on legalism prove them. The law of God is eternal; it is the same 24 hours a day for all people who have ever or will ever live. People who attempt to justify themselves with the law fail and they end up in misery. The testimonies of Ben Toh, Andrew Martin, Brian Karcher and others speak to this. Ben Toh recently said “Reading and studying Galatians in 2009 set me free—28 years after becoming a Christian.” It may take 29 years, but legalism is as unfulfilling as air. It does not feed us. My prayer is that I will never fall to legalism. I pray that I always recognize that I am blessed first, and that any good about me comes from Christ. I pray that I will not be swayed by false teachers. In all these things I pray. Amen.

Being a missionary

I did not feel like a missionary, as I said in part 1. But while I was there I made sure that I did not try to impose my culture on the students. For me this meant first and foremost that I did not insist on English only. I was assigned a translator. In some bible studies she requested that the students speak in English but I had to be very insistent in telling them to speak freely. Many students were very shy to meet me. I could not understand the tone of the Tagalog but my translator informed me that the presiders were shy to introduce me. I tried to be as open as possible and to speak with all of them. One student refused to look at me as I tried to introduce myself. In America I would have taken this as a call to forcefully introduce myself, possibly with a lot of sarcasm. In this case I didn’t say anything. Later the girl approached me and introduced herself. She was very open in speaking with me for the duration of the conference. The first message was given in English, but the second one was mostly in Tagalog.

Joy

The message in English was given by Timothy. His spoke on John 17, Jesus’ prayer for his disciples. The primary message was Jesus prays for us, and his intercession brings about joy. The sermon was given extemporaneously. He used notes and cited Old Testament verses as needed. It differed from Easter conference in major ways.

The messages given by Americans at Camp Joatta for my conference were very analytical. They were rooted in explanation and argumentation. The message was essentially an appeal to logic; it was a sermon from logos. The messages given by native Koreans were rooted in obedience, loyalty, and discipleship. The message was essentially an appeal to authority of the speaker as a elder messenger of God; it was sermon from ethos. But the message I heard was rooted in emotion; it was a sermon from pathos. His main message can be summarized by the psalmist “What is man, that thou art mindful of him?” This was the same thing I thought as I saw the earth depart from me as I flew to the Philippines. From the sky you could not even tell that people existed, they were too small. Who am I that the creator of the heavens and the earth became man so that I might become like God?

He spoke that the “J” in “Joy” stood for Jesus. Indeed Jesus brings Joy and the joy of the students and people there was contagious. There was no excessive feeling of guilt that many Easter celebrations bring with it. He said that sin destroys the joy that Christ gives us. The message was very inspiring because the modern world has nearly equated sin with virtue. They speak of “forbidden fruit” as though it is something that we ought to have. Sin, rather than bring us joy, actively destroys it!

The success of the Philippines UBF

The Easter Conference had 93 in attendance. I wondered openly how this had happened. Why was it that the Philippines UBF so successful. My chapter has in St. Louis has produced 1 long staying disciple in 7 years. My chapter in Springfield has, by my count, 3 three in the past 4 years. But the Philippines had dozens. Most of the members in attendance had been in the Philippines UBF for more than 2 years. I discovered that the UBF chapter didn’t use the UBF daily bread book. They said to use it was to “put God in a box”. This sentiment was expressed equally about nearly every “rule” that UBF has. Dr. William said that it was our job to guide people and let God choose for them their role in the church. Students wanted to take an active part in the church and there were facilitated by the leadership there. Your role was never chosen for you.

That being said there were very typical UBF influences. “Shepherd” and “shepherdess” were common. Interestingly these were not titles that were required to be used such as in traditional UBF chapters. However, they were still used even though some current UBF chapters don’t use them at all such as Springfield UBF. For various reasons I determined the title was honorary, it was not “earned”. In this way UBF Philippines was not stratified and competitive in nature. It was not a competitive discipleship ministry. Dr. William explained he did not want a mega church. He said he was soon sending out a family of 8 to start a new chapter.

I have observed that some UBF chapters are unsuccessful for 2 reasons. First they are very legalistic, and manipulative. They only present one option for people in the church and therefore exert a lot of control over their members. This was not present in the Philippines UBF; everything was done with grace, love and freedom. The second way I have observed them fail is with regards to the policy on marriage by faith. It seems that traditional Korean marriage practices of arranged marriage were brought with UBF and justified with certain proof texts taken out of context. Korean leaders therefore see their cultural norm as a divine imperative. This shotgun style engagement and forceful nature is not present here. Traditional Filipino courtship is the norm. Courtship usually takes at least a few years. Marriage is not seen as a tool to build missionaries either. Students are free to date, but it is usually discouraged. The traditional courtship is modified in a Christian light. People who are considering being married are introduced in a similar manner as traditional UBF chapters. But then the leaders are mostly absent for the rest of the period. The courtship period is a testing ground to decide if it is God’s will to be married. Leaders do not cancel weddings and families are very involved. Because of an absence of law in favor of grace, and an absence of the UBF marriage by faith policy, UBF Philippines has been very successful.

Closing remarks

I will not go into every detail of my trip. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written. Maybe one day I will include a part 4, it is possible I will write a follow up. God’s work in the Philippines has changed my life in remarkable ways. I have decided I will go back as soon as I can, even at the expense of going to Europe. As one student told me “God is good…All the time.”

The 9th Beatitude

The poverty was something I don’t think I ever got used to. There were dozens of people walking everywhere. The city was not zoned so every spot that was vacant was turned into a makeshift house. Electrical wiring hung precariously. The Philippines reminded me of that scene from Going to America; the city looked like 1980’s metro Africa. Nothing could have prepared me for the state of their bible house. Their bible house was essentially two half houses connected with a board and covered with an open roof. This meant no amount of air conditioning would cool this place. There were no washers or dryers. Coworkers slept on a sheet on the ground. I was shocked at this place, but what shocked me more was that everyone was happier than I have ever seen. It is true, “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” They would have seen redder roses than I would have seen, and greener grass- had there been any grass to see. All the areas that could have grass were just dirt. I was astonished at their attitude towards life. Most of the people there wore clothing that appeared to have been fashionable several years ago in America. It seemed cross training shoes were absent. Shoes there seemed to be a thin and most comparable to slippers. Despite it all I never once heard anyone complain.

More Fun

The tagline for tourism in the Philippines is the titular “It’s more fun in the Philippines.” The students there would use it sarcastically. When we arrived at the resort there was a man urinating on the side wall of the resort in board daylight with several people all walking around him. I was shocked and laughed at this, when someone said “It’s more fun in the Philippines.” A day later I was walking to my room and a lizard crawled up the wall besides me. I asked if this was normal and the girl said “It’s more fun in the Philippines.” The whole tone of the conference itself could be described in this way “It’s more fun in the Philippines.” Nothing was mandatory. The schedule was set but you could have done nothing and nobody would have mentioned it to you. Friday’s schedule included a message after breakfast, then bible study. After bible study was socialization for a few hours until lunch. After lunch was music practice and free time. After dinner there was dance night. Different groups preformed dances and skits. Some of these were Christian and others were not. I saw a traditional Filipino dance. Saturday’s schedule was dance cardio before breakfast, a message after breakfast, group bible study, socialization and free time until lunch, after lunch there was music practice until dinner, after dinner there was life testimony sharing and music. The two presiders could not in any culture be said to have taken their role seriously. They joked the whole time in introducing people and everyone loved them. When they said “God is good.” You could see them glowing. It was an abrupt change from anything I have ever seen in American UBF, and “It was very good.”

The purpose of Bible study

The bible studies were very different from my home chapter, or even the chapter of the second gen I started under. When I sat down with her to study the bible I was confused. I asked her where the questionnaire was. She said there was no questionnaire. I asked her what we were going to study. She asked me what I wanted to study. The bible study was very 1 to 1, in the sense that we were on equal grounds. Although the students there seemed shy and in some cases differential to me, in bible study they spoke confidently about the gospel that gave them life.

We jumped around the bible as I explained how Christian virtues are only virtues when held under unfavorable conditions. I said that Christ can be said to love us because he loved us when he had every reason not to. Because there was no questionnaire to steer the direction of the conversation the bible study felt more organic and more real. I was not constantly on guard against questions that desired answers out of context.

Another thing I learned from the bible study is that the Shepherdess was very unfamiliar with the Old Testament. This struck me as odd at first. Later that night I had a different student leading bible study question me about what John had meant when he called us “Children of God” in 1 John. I spoke with Dr. William Altobar regarding this. It seemed to me that unqualified students were leading bible studies. He said that “Bible studies are there to build relationships between students so they can experience God.” I realized from this that I had taken up unknowingly that the purpose of bible studies was to learn about God. But in the Philippines, it was to experience God. It is important to note, but hard to see that if we have any good about us it come from God, we are like mirrors reflecting his glory.

Students are led to Christ in the Philippines by the outpouring of the Holy Spirit though students facilitated God’s word. In some sense I wonder what is best. I think that traditional UBF chapters led by native Koreans use the bible study to pass on teaching of obedience and loyalty though bible study. Traditionally it seems American protestant bible study try to pass on knowledge of the scripture though bible study. But the bible studies with Hope seemed as though she wanted to testify about Christ. No matter what we started talking about the conversation would end talking about Christ and his work in her life. Sometimes it became irritating to me. I wanted to talk about theology and she wanted to talk about Christ. The correct choice seems obvious.

In part 3 I will discuss what I learned though the messages, and the success of UBF in the Philippines.

No more guilt

I remember so many Easter “celebrations” that felt like a criminal trial. The word guilt means “the fact of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty”. Easter was typically a dreadful reminder that I had done something wrong, like killing Jesus. But not this year. I feel no guilt for doing such a thing. Jesus gave himself to death. It was not to layer humanity with guilt but to set us free from guilt. Easter should be a time of liberation from guilt, not bondage to it. If we feel guilty after this Easter weekend, then we’ve not heard the gospel Jesus preached.

No more exasperation

OMG! We’re late for a ubf meeting! So much tension, so much high-blood pressure trying to get something done for a ubf conference. Exasperation. That’s the word that best described many of my Easter times in ubf. The word means “excite the anger of, to cause irritation or annoyance to”. It’s been over 4 years since I participated in a ubf conference. I’m starting to forget all the no-sleep nights and hard work to “prepare blessings”. But no more. This year was a peaceful Easter, a wonderful conclusion of Lent. I feel happy. I feel connected to the entire Christ-following family around the world. If we are exasperated after this Easter, then we are in need of taking the time to examine Jesus’ gospel more closely.

No more shame

Shame is a “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety”. It is the feeling invoked by guilt. South Korean’s are steeped in a shame/honor society. So it’s no wonder my 24 years of ubf life instilled a deep sense of shame in me. Recently the NY Times reported this: “South Korea has had the highest suicide rate in the industrialized world for eight consecutive years” (source) Such massive shame has been like a syrupy layer of burden over my life in the past. But no more! Finally I enjoyed an Easter with no shame. If a lingering shame stays with you after this Easter, then you’ve heard a flawed gospel message that contradicts the message Jesus preached.

The cross is liberation from guilt, exasperation and shame!

So as ubf chapters attempt to celebrate Easter around the world, let’s all remember the gospel message of the glory of Jesus which removes our shame and the gospel message of the peace of God which removes our guilt. Don’t let your ubf shepherds drive a wedge of guilt, exasperation or shame into your soul. Easter is a time of liberation.

“For 27 years my (Ben Toh’s) identity was in my faithfulness to never miss a UBF Sun worship service, never miss any meetings, never miss writing a testimony every week, never missing any UBF conferences, having 10 1:1 Bible studies a week, etc. I did well as a UBF man. Yet, though I love Jesus, my identity was not in Christ but in what others in UBF expected of me.”

This is what is so blinding here. I think people can attest to these things that you listed. These are some of the expectations for a faithful member of UBF. As long you do these things, you’re growing. Well that’s what it seems to be. As Christians, our identity should be rooted in Christ, but with the environment of UBF that’s really hard to overcome, since there are the human shepherds who are supposed to be in charge of their members in UBF. As a young member or college student, you’re accountable to your shepherd as to whether you’re growing or not. The shepherd seems to have the final say. The shepherd has the final approval of basically everything in your walk with Christ. So basically you’re really trying to live out the expectation of your shepherd rather than Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd.

Is this true? Is this reflective of the experience of UBFers and exUBFers? Is this accurate? Inaccurate? Right? Not right? Neutral? Why?

The sin beneath the sin

My identity was as a UBF man for 27 years (1980-2007). I am a Christian. I tasted the love of God through the marvelous grace of Jesus. But my identity was in my faithfulness to never miss a UBF Sun worship service, never miss any meetings, never miss writing a testimony every week, never missing any UBF conferences, having 10 1:1 Bible studies a week, etc. I did well as a UBF man. Yet, though I love Jesus, my identity was not in Christ but in what others in UBF expected of me. I was an “exemplary UBF shepherd” and supposedly the “best American UBF shepherd,” which is quite embarrassing, if not funny. (Thank God that it is not so any more!)

A Christian identity that is not in Christ. I am again reading James Danaher’s excellent book Eyes That See, Ears That Hear, that Brian reviewed. Chapter 4 alone–The Sermon on the Mount and the Concept of Sin–is worth the price of the book. Danaher explains how many Christians (and Pharisees) view sin as doing something bad, such as breaking the Ten Commandments. But their sin is ultimately in finding their identity in something else other than Christ.

Anger. We know murder is a sin. But Jesus says “that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister…will be in danger of the fire of hell” (Mt 5:22). It means that anger becomes our source of energy and strength, rather than finding our energy and strength in Christ alone. It is sad when Christians, in anger, slander other Christians because of disagreements about doctrine, tradition or methodology.

Lust. We know adultery is a sin. But Jesus says “that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Mt 5:28). It suggests that off limits romantic and sexual thoughts gives us energy, excitement and direction in a way that should be reserved for God alone.

Oaths (my “prayer topics”). Jesus says to make no oath (Mt 5:33-36). Why? We think we are good and noble when we keep our word: “I promise to go fishing once a week and feed three sheep each week.” We like to think that we are people of our word and that our word is enough to motivate us to do what we promised. So we derive our strength and motivation by keeping our word, which can serve as a source of strength and identity apart from God.

Punishing others. We love an “eye for eye, tooth for tooth,” but Jesus says, “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also” (Mt 5:38-39). Yeah, right! We easily focus on the sins of others and find energy and motivation through scheming ways of how to punish and shame them. But with God alone as our source of energy and strength, we can turn the other cheek, because we want to love others as Christ loved us, instead of giving them what we think their sins deserve.

Loving enemies (Mt 5:43-45). Jesus loved Judas to the end (Jn 13:1). But when we speculate or imagine that someone in church might be a Judas, we marginalize and exclude them rather than love them. The only way to love an enemy is if we are connected to an incredibly loving and forgiving God as the source of our being and identity. Such love is behind everything Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount.

Desire for honor and recognition. When you suffer and sacrifice for Bible students, do you share in your mission report to make sure that others know just how much you suffered and sacrificed (cf. Mt 6:2)? Jesus said that doing so means that we are seeking an identity founded on prestige, reputation, honor and the recognition of others, rather than on our relationship with God.

Is your identity in Christ alone and driven by love? Or might your identity be driven by anger, the desire to punish others for their sins (real or imagined!), or the desire to be honored and recognized?

My name is Michael Lanier. I am a 23 year old math teacher in inner city St. Louis. I graduated from SIUE last may. I was introduced to UBF through my brother’s doctor John Lee. I was born and raised in Springfield, adopted out of a broken home with my brother when I was 10. My father had passed away when I was 4. My brother would frequently get into street fights and break his hand. The second (third?) time this happened his doctor John Lee invited him to church. I have never been to a bible conference. I have never presided. I have never delivered a Sunday message. I have never married by faith. In fact I purchased this book to know more about married life in UBF. The marriage question has been at the forefront of discussions with nearly everyone I know about UBF. Yes, UBF marriages tend to last, but are they fulfilling? The answer seemed unattainable from missionaries and leaders. This is who I am. This is why I bought his book.

As for the book- it is the story of the consequences of putting ministry over family. This was of genuine importance to me. Mr. Martin states “Family must come first over ministry.” (his emphasis, not mine). 1 Timothy chapter 3 agrees “If anyone wants to provide leadership in the church, good! But there are preconditions: A leader must be well-thought-of, committed to his wife…He must handle his own affairs well, attentive to his own children and having their respect” 1 Tim 3:1-4 Later in the book he mentions a pastor who actually stepped down from a larger church because he saw that the eventuality would be the destruction of his marriage. The consequence of this are family problems and eventually divorce.

Another major point Mr. Martin makes repeatedly is that his divorce was for the better. I agree, but I got the keen impression that he was really really trying to convince people of this. Perhaps it is that divorce is so common in my generation that I hardly blinked at the notion. Paul gives abandonment as a valid reason for divorce (1 Corinthians 7:15), and Mr. Martin mentions at least a half dozen attempts he tried to reconcile. His (now ex) wife refused.

The second half of the book recounts the events after his divorce– his reconciliation with his children, and God leading him to an amazing woman named Cora. They met through Genesis study thousands of miles apart! The book concluded with his return to UBF and his complete and utter rejection. The book comes full circle at this point.

One last point I ought to make is this. Mr. Martin makes his intentions clear up front. He does not mean his book to be an attack on UBF. He does this by changing names. The only name he mentions is Sarah Barry. He speaks well of her at this point. My last remark is one I feel he would agree with; that his story cannot be generalized to everyone. The answer to my question on marriage that I gained from this book was such: if God has granted you a beautiful family, perhaps you are called to be a “shepherd” to them first. Perhaps you are not called to be a bible teacher to others before your own family. Paul says in first Corinthians chapter 12 that we are not all called to be teachers. Perhaps this is what he meant by that.

As a personal note to conclude, I have always wanted to write something for this website. I love writing! Recently I was accused of “cult like thinking”. I decided I would rather not write after that. The reason I wrote this is because Mr. Martin himself asked me. I believe that God called me to read this; I am unsure what he thinks of my writing. I know I have not done it proper justice. The story of Cora is too beautiful for me to adequately describe. I am a mathematician at heart– not a poet. It was truly God’s work.

My hope is that his story will move you as it moved me, it will teach you as it taught me, it will reveal to you that nothing can be resurrected unless it first dies. When our world ends, then and only then do we see as Christ saw, feel as Christ felt, die as Christ died on Calvary all those years ago.

“Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

John Armstrong’s Article

In 2007, our friend John Armstrong wrote a series of blog articles about his interactions with ubf. I find it sobering, helpful and intriguing to look back on my comments and other’s comments in 2007. Here are my thoughts today.

John’s good advice

John gave us all wise words to consider back then. I find these thoughts to be quite sobering and true.

“If you are not extremely careful you will project your response toward UBF on to everything that you now think and do as a Christian, responding as if UBF is the whole story of your life.”

“Remember the examples of those who have learned to pray for their enemies as our Lord taught them and us. And recall that even he urges us to do good to those who have done evil to us.”

“This is a primary issue that counselors face every day with adult children who were abused by their parents. The child, who is now an adult, must finally come to grasp a simple fact—¬they may never be completely restored in a healthy way to their abusive parent(s). The child will eventually have to learn to let this go, step by painful step. And the child will also need to forgive the parent without agreeing with everything the parent says or does. Many parents will even deny that they ever did anything wrong at all in such circumstances. Christ wants to heal these types of pains in all of us but we must invite him to do so and pursue him for it in good faith.”

Former member’s comments

The comments by former ubf members back in 2007 were just too much for my small mind to process at the time. I had just finished 2 years of intense ubf defending (2004 and 2005) and thought all the former member stuff was over with. I was wrong. In fact, it was these very kinds of discussions that helped open my eyes to see that former ubf members were not so “evil” or “poisonous” but displayed love and serious concerns.

These comments were very helpful for me:

“Brain, again I recommend that when someone is communicating something regarding UBF, do not reframe it to fit your perspective. Do you think you are the Tom Cruise of UBF? You need to come off your UBF highhorse and stop trying to silence the incredibly apparent dark side of UBF. This is disrespectful, insincere and intellectually irresponsible. This is the same thing your late leader, Daniel Hong did and it is a bad attribute you picked up from him. I don’t need my words respun by you like you are superior to me. You have no idea what I have done since I left UBF so you need to stop trying to infer that we are not doing the work of God.”

“I have also seen UBF Bible students (some of them my friends) suddenly become fearful and suspicious and break-off their relationships with their UBF shepherds. Yes, some began behaving like enemies instead of friends, almost overnight. I know of many who even packed their belongings in secret and left their UBF housing secretly, were never heard from again, were hardly mentioned again except to say that they had “run away” from UBF (UBF leaders’ words, not mine). Why did they “run away?” Because of what they had “seen with their own eyes or experienced themselves” after years of a relationship with UBF. The breaking point was (and still is) often the surprise introduction of a “marriage partner” and the corresponding pressure to get married to this stranger.

And this was long before the Web, email or even fax machines.
The web sites that so trouble UBF leaders have been around only since 2001 and probably weren’t even on the usual Web search engines’ radars until 2002-2003. One might also ask why these UBF recruits are googling for “university bible fellowship a cult?” in the first place.”

My comments

Some of my comments, as I look back, were stupid. I was just plain wrong. One comment however that I totally agree with 100% today just as much as when I wrote it in 2007 is this:

“JCO, you make a good point. As Dr.Armstrong pointed out, love must prevail. Attitudes toward UBF will never unite anyone.

I do see the love of God here in some ways. I see the love of God in Dr.Armstrong’s allowing these conversations to take place on his blog, and by his wise and Godly words. I see the love of God in ChrisZ, JimSL, ExUBF and AndrewP who must care a lot to post such zealous words. I see the love of God in BenToh, JoeS and others from UBF who showed thankful minds and tremendous restraint in not replying with anger or bitterness.

So perhaps we can agree to be united in the love of Christ. In the end, Christ’s love is the one common denominator of Christianity.”

My identity was changing

I can clearly see my cult identity falling away and changing in some of my comments:

“My point of emphasis, and the reason I brought it up in the comment above, is that I strongly believe the Bible should be the center of my faith. I don’t think Luther’s words (or Dr.Samuel Lee’s words for that matter) should be the *center* of my faith. Certainly they are worthwhile for learning and maturity.

I welcome your attitude of love for us “evil, power-mongering, pyramid-scheming, abortionist, divorce-ridden good for nothing, going to hell” UBF members. (I don’t mean to dismiss criticims of UBF here, but at some point I can only laugh and cry at certain attitudes expressed on various comments here. At least I can take comfort in being upgraded from the “Bagdad Bob” of UBF to the “Tom Cruise” of UBF!)”

“When will it end? We in UBF already hear your points. We already are learning, growing and changing. What more do you want?”

My stupid comments

Some of my thoughts were just strange, shallow and borderline idiotic:

“Jim, you crossed the line here. So I will speak up. I respond to your writing below.”

“Another central problem to UBF is the financial unaccountibility.”
>>> Jim, you are on shaky ground here. Do you realize our books have been audited and approved? I don’t know about the Chicago chapter, but the Toledo chapter always gives offering reports and they match exactly to the penny. Please refrain from making generalizations about all of UBF when you only know part of the issue.

“>>> Jim, you are welcome to your opinion. You say UBF is evil. I wholeheartedly disagree with you.”

“As Amy mentioned, we need to consider “the whole counsel of God”.
When I see Matthew 18, the whole chapter, I see the following points:
1) I must learn the attitude of a child.
2) I must learn the attitude of a shepherd searching for lost sheep.
3) I must confront a fellow believer who sins against me.
4) I must not be an unmerciful servant.
What do you think?”

Thoughts about Change

We all are changing. I’ve found the following quotes about change to be helpful on my journey of change:

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” (Leo Tolstoy)

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”
(Lemony Snicket, Horseradish)

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” (Mahatma Gandhi)

Why am I dead to UBF?

One of the first experiences a former member of ubf has is the feeling of being divorced from people in ubf. Friendships we thought we had and relationships we thought were so strong suddenly disappear. Overnight. People who we called our spiritual mothers and fathers and people who we called brothers and sisters suddenly go silent towards us. We become dead to them.

But why? Why does this happen almost universally to former ubf members?

The answer is obvious: former members allow their ubf-given identity to die. For example, “Shepherd Brian” is indeed dead. That identity does not exist and never will exist. The person named Brian however is alive and well. But ubf people find it impossible to address “Brian”. They only know how to interact with “Shepherd Brian”.

Why do I use the cult label?

As I have said repeatedly, my experiences in ubf were mostly good. I enjoyed the love-bombing and created a relatively safe place for my family by disobeying certain orders (like the demand to sleep in the center for months right after marriage). Some may point to an inter-personal conflict with my Korean shepherd. But that is not a true assessment. I showed my Korean shepherd double honor for over two decades. I brought nothing but joy to the leaders in ubf. It is true our relationship was broken near the end of my ubf commitment. Breaking this relationship felt like a divorce.

But why? Why do I claim University Bible Fellowship is a cult?

The answer is because ubf shepherds and missionaries are identity snatchers. They spiritually abused me and thousands others by stealing our identity and persuading us to adopt their identity. That identity was called “Shepherd Brian”. But that is not who I am. That was never who I was. That is not my authentic self. The main reason I am on a recovery from my commitment to University Bible Fellowship is because I am searching to re-connect with my authentic self, my pre-cult self, the self that my family knows.

The cognitive dissonance I used to sustain this false identity requires triggers to uphold that identity, and requires a lot of energy to maintain. That energy needed to be released. The sub-identities I adopted like a facade around my soul needed to crumble.  That is why I experienced a physical trauma trigger when I happened to meet some ubf people who wanted to take a group photo last year. My body literally began to shake and I had to run out of the building without saying good bye. I drove to a highway rest stop and just sat there for 15 minutes until the shakes left me and my heart stopped racing. Steve Hassan describes this phenomena in his book. It happened because I had been conditioned through ubf heritage indoctrination to adopt a false identity, and the group photo with ubfers triggered that memory of my cult-identity.

So yes, “Shepherd Brian” is dead. You won’t be able to talk to him. And that explains so very much of what happened to me and what continues to happen to me.

In my

For reference, again, the Allen Clare review is available here:

Allen Clare review of Bevere’s book and the Shepherding Movement (pdf)

(Please see my previous article for the first two sections.)

III. Delegated Authority

Shepherding Movement teaching, along with Bevere’s presentation in his book “Under Cover”, is deeply connected to the concept of delegated authority. Romans 13 is used to establish their doctrine of delegated authority.

In the first chapter of Bevere’s book he recounts a time in his life when he was a youth pastor. Long story short, Bevere’s ministry was doing well, but without warning or conversation the lead pastor decided to stop the youth ministry’s practices. Bevere was upset about this and had a hard time coping with the lead pastor’s seemingly unwise decision. The lead pastor deflected John Bevere’s question about the decision by repeating 4 times, “John, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me the direction of this church…” (pp 14-15)

Bevere then continues to share his thoughts, and then shares about a conversation he had with the Holy Spirit. This is the conversation:

The Holy Spirit  says, “John whose ministry are you building? Mine or yours?”

John blurts out, “Yours, Lord!”

The Holy Spirit responds, “No, you’re not! You’re building your own.”

John says, “Lord, we can’t get most unsaved students to our church but we can get them to parties…” (use of parties was the strategy the lead pastor was discontinuing).

After he says the Lord allowed him to vent, Bevere claims the Holy Spirit told him the following:

“John, when I brought you to this church to serve this man, I made you an extension of the ministry I entrusted to him. I called you to be his arms and legs; I put only one man in charge of a ministry… John, when you stand before Me in judgment for the time period that I have had you serve this pastor, you will not first give an account of how many youth you led to salvation in Orlando, Florida. You will first be judged on how faithful you were to the pastor I’ve put you under.”

What are we to make of these conversations Bevere supposedly had with the Holy Spirit? I have a couple of issues to point out. First, it should be a red flag when the foundations for a new doctrine come from a conversation someone had with the Holy Spirit. Second, since when are we called to serve the pastor at a church and be his arms and legs? Can anyone say, “idolatry?” Third, the New Testament clearly teaches a multiplicity of elders is the apostolic model for the New Testament church.

Bevere uses this conversation to move into his understanding of Romans 13:1-2: “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist bring judgment on themselves.”

Then Bevere comments: “Some may say, ‘I submit to God, but not to man, unless I agree with him.’ This is where our upbringing and incorrect church thinking can hinder us. We cannot separate out submission to God’s inherent authority from our submission to His delegated authority [i.e. civil, church, family leaders] … When we oppose God’s delegated authority, we oppose God Himself!”

In this Bevere is teaching the infamous Shepherding Movement doctrine of delegated authority, as Derek Prince (one of the four founders of the Shepherding Movement) says: “…the New Testament requires submission to the following specific relationships… all Christians to secular governments on all levels… all Christians to those who rule over them in church… we do not obey those in authority because they are right; we obey them because they are in authority, and all authority ultimately stems from God himself (See Rom 13:1-5).”

Key Question

Does Romans 13 really teach Bevere’s view of delegated authority?

My claim: The passage is very clearly referring to state officials, and civil government and cannot be used to refer to God’s delegated authorities in the church.

Proof: Look at the context and how Paul describes the authorities that are his subject.

• Romans 13:4, “For he is God’s servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing.”

Observe that “bearing the sword” for punishment is not a role for authorities in the church.

• Rom 13:4-5: “He is God’s servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience.”

Observe that executing wrath upon wrongdoers is not a function of the New Testament church.

• Rom 13:6-7: “This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time governing…”

Observe that paying taxes is not a function of the New Testament church.

Conclusion: The governing authorities in Romans 13 are not church leaders because none of the named services carried out by these authorities are functions of the New Testament church. Bevere is wrong to apply Romans 13 in the way he does.

What is your perspecive on this delegated authority teaching?

What do you think about the Shepherding Movement’s and John Bevere’s teaching on delegated authority? Do you see any resemblance to UBF’s authority structure? Have you ever heard Romans 13 used in UBF in the way that Bevere and others use it?  What do you think about this?

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Do you have any predictions?

There is a book making rounds among many churches by John Bevere called “Under Cover: The Promise of Protection Under His Authority.” It’s been some time since I left UBF, but I certainly do have heart for the many individuals that remain in this ministry, not to mention the many new believers whose first Bible study takes place in UBF. In this series I am simply going to present several short articles going through Allan Clare’s review of the “Shepherding Movement” from the 1970’s and its connection with John Bevere’s 2001 book “Under Cover.”

I hope this will help those who see this series understand some of the structural flaws that lead to spiritual abuse, and other issues in UBF.

In this first installment I will just highlight main points from Allan Clare’s review of the book, in particular the first two chapters. The full review John Bevere called “Under Cover: The Promise of Protection Under His Authority.” is relatively short:  Allan Clare Review (pdf)

I. A Little History: The Shepherding Movement

Anyone who has been in UBF for any time at all should feel there ears tingle when they hear something like “The Shepherding Movement.” It is a movement very similar to what is found in UBF. So similar that I’m amazed I haven’t seen UBF mentioned as a group that continues its practices. Hopefully we can learn from their mistakes. Here is some of the history that Clare provides:

The Shepherding Movement emerged as a nondenominational movement in 1974. Four Charismatic Bible teachers formed the movement, which spread and was taught by thousands all over the country.

The teachings of the Shepherding Movement emphasized: authority, submission, discipleship, commitment to covenant relationships, loyalty, pastoral care, and spiritual covering. One David Moore puts it, “…the need for discipleship through personal care or, as they termed it, ‘shepherding’ care… a believer was to submit to a ‘personal pastor’ [i.e. a shepherd] who would help the individual develop Christian maturity.”

The rise of the Shepherding Movement alarmed many, particularly because it produced stories of abusive authority, hyper-submission, and controlled lives.

The founders realized that their teaching produced problems and cases of spiritual abuse, and they openly repented and asked forgiveness from those harmed. Bob Mumford, one of the founders publically repented saying, “some families were split up and lives turned upside down. Some of these families are still not back together.” They admitted that the movement causes, “an unhealthy submission resulting in perverse and unbiblical obedience to human leaders.”

Moore again says the Shepherding Movement, “…created a propensity toward an abuse of spiritual authority, especially among young immature leaders, or leaders who lacked character and integrity… the emphasis on hierarchically oriented submission to God’s delegated authorities led to many cases of improper control and abusive authority throughout the movement.”

II. From Shepherding to “Under Cover”

[Still from Clare’s review]

Bob Mumford, one of the four Shepherding Movement founders, distributed his teachings through issues of New Wine magazine, which focused on the need for practical obedience to God and submission to his delegated authority in all spheres of life.

Despite the near history of the Shepherding Movement and all the issues it caused, in 2001 Thomas Nelson published John Bevere’s “Under Cover” a book which promotes Bevere’s own teaching on authority, submission, discipleship, commitment in covenant relationships, loyalty, pastoral care, and spiritual covering.

The book has spread through Charismatic churches and other church accustomed to top-down, hierarchical models of church leadership [i.e. UBF].

Mary Alice Chrnalogar writes: “…since many leaders in the Shepherding Movement admitted doing wrong, various people who continue to use the same methods have begun to give different labels for the same actions… The errors are covered in many different terms like delegated authority, covering, unquestioned submission, covenant, commitment to a fellowship, etc. Terms change from time to time. Submission may be called ‘commitment,’ ‘covenant relationship’ or ‘divine order’ [or ‘spiritual order’] in church government. Many times terms aren’t used at all; it is the actions that tell you what is going on.”

Although Bevere doesn’t use the term “Shepherding” in the book “Under Cover,” the main focus is obedience to delegated authority [i.e. church leadership].

These are the main points in the first two chapters of Clare’s short essay. Hopefully some interest was sparked about the Shepherding Movement and this book “Under Cover,” and how it relates to the methods practiced in UBF. We can learn much from other people’s mistakes. Sometimes our own errors are most obvious when someone else, like Bevere, promotes near identical teachings in a more direct way. This way we can see them as they are instead of in the hidden / subliminal forms they most often take. What do you think? Does the Shepherding Movement sound similar to church UBF style? Are you already familiar with Bevere’s book? If so, what can you share?

I do not know how God will use this book but I was inspired by God to write it beginning in 2012 until it’s completion. The book will be helpful to any sincere Christian who is seeking the truth. It is a must read for those in UBF or out of UBF if anything to learn how a fellow laborer in the gospel came to know the freedom and love in Christ. As a UBF person, you will understand that what I wrote is from a once insider and a writer of 4 previous books where I have promoted UBF and all it’s practices. This book will shed light on what happens after you take a turn for the worse, where do you go from there, if you lose all the support from the ministry you loved with your life. One thing is for sure, God is the end. God is Love.

Tragic caricature

Tragic suicides. Earlier this year, Rick Warren’s son commited suicide at age 27 after decades of suffering from mental illness, depression and suicidal thoughts. Today, news broke of a mega-church pastor in Florida committing suicide. Isaac Hunter was 36 years old and the father of three. His father, Joel Hunter is also a megachurch pastor and a spiritual advisor of President Obama.

Even in UBF. I am not writing this to discuss why Christians commit suicide. Rather, I am posting this with the hope that we will no longer refer to anyone as a mental patient. Sadly and tragically, suicides occur in UBF as well–among Bible students, children of leaders, and notable leaders. The pain this has caused is unspeakable. Yet, I hope that some day these tragedies will be addressed publicly rather than keeping silent about and acting as though it is too discouraging or too shameful to discuss.

Despicable phrases. There are phrases that we use in UBF that are simply horrible and that hopefully is on the decline if not eliminated entirely. I think that “he/she ran away” is no longer used with any regularity to refer to anyone who left UBF. Hopefully, “keep spiritual order and just obey” is also on the decline (even if it might still be implicitly communicated). I am thinking and hoping that “selfish Americans,” or “‘P’ mentality,” or “Polish pride,” or any negative caricature of any ethnicity from Canada, Russia, Germany, etc, will no longer be used in UBF. To those who think that this is no big deal, it would be similar to saying “wife beating Koreans.” It is highly offensive and never ever justifiable or defensible. It is certainly not the way Christians should ever talk (Col 3:16; 4:6; ; Eph 4:15), not even in private (Lk 12:3).

Will we stop caricaturing others? Has UBF stopped referring to others as “a mental patient”?

Previously, I reviewed The Social Network (friendship must communicate inclusivity), The Descendants (forgiving love in the face of betrayal) and Django Unchained (exacting justice where every bastard gets his due). Gravity examines grief and loss and the mastery of life in the face of impending death, which the movie presents with spectacular visuals and authentic human emotions portrayed by Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. Next weekend, I hope to review the second Hunger Games movie.

The unbearable pain of loss. (Spoiler alert. Stop reading if you have not seen the movie and intend to do so.) Sandra Bullock and George Clooney become lost in space after being hit by exploding shrapnel from another space station. Three others on their team were killed. Clooney, the seasoned astronaut who would retire after this final mission, was a good mentor (shepherd) to Bullock, since this is her first space mission, and she is freaking out. To help her calm down, he asked about her life. She shared that she had lost her four year old daughter in a freak accident. Ever since then her life as a scientist has been a blur. She just unquestioningly accepts her boring daily routine to pass the time without reflection so as to numb herself from experiencing the unbearable pain of losing her daughter. Being lost in space appropriately represents her life being detached and lost on earth ever since she lost her only child.

A sacrifice for the sake of another. During a critical moment where both of them might die, Clooney sacrifices himself so that Bullock might survive. He represents a seasoned person who has resolved his life issues, so that he has no hesitation whatsoever to lose his life so that someone else might live. It was a poignant touching moment that would resonate with any human being who still has breadth.

Facing death. Bullock has to now survive on her own since her mentor is no more. During another critical moment she cries out in prayer for her life and says, “..even though no one ever taught me to pray.” In desperation, she cries out for supernatural intervention. In the final climatic scene of the movie she would either survive and have a hell of a story to tell, or she would be incinerated in ten minutes. And then she laughs with a resolve that seems to say, “Here goes.” She has surrendered her life and sees both options–either surviving or dying–as totally acceptable and happy. I believe that this is how each and every person wants to die–delighted that we live, and totally content if we die or lose everything. It reminds me of Paul who said, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil 1:21). Nothing and no one can ever defeat or demoralize or destroy one who has no losing option, since both options are a joyous gain and victory. It also reminds me of Shadrach, Meshah and Abednego before they were thrown into the fiery furnace by Nebuchadnezzar (Dan 3:16-18).

Are you happy to live and gain everything, as well as equally happy to die or lose everything? Any answer short of an unequivocal “Yes!” will lead to fear and a suboptimal life.

Dear Cincinnati UBF and all in UBF:

It has been over a year and slowly God has revealed to me the truth about UBF and it’s practices. UBF is abusive to families and to children and to many students in the name of raising disciples and living under the dome of truth. I could write a fifth book about all the abuses that I have personally suffered under you as God’s servant and the bad theology and the anti-family mentality in the framework of UBF. It is hard to see this truth while living under the leadership of UBF but I saw it in Cincinnati and was afraid to speak out because of the control and because I was taught to never forget God’s grace which was more of a control mechanism than a love for God.

God is faithful. He is slowing healing our family and He has delivered all of us in healthy churches where children are not neglected in the excuse of doing ministry and spouses openly show affection to each other and the Bible is not used as a tool just to make people to be committed to UBF and its practices. God delivered me like He did Job after taking everything away from me so that I could finally see the truth. I have my ex-wife to thank for this and my daughters. I have a deep concern for the marriages and families in UBF. There is much pain and abuse in the name of doing God’s work. The abuse is real and I learned it from you as my shepherd. The UBF heritage is not God and there are so many healthy and vibrant churches all around who live in love not judgment and condemnation. God is love. The general atmosphere of UBF is like modern day proud religious leaders who need to repent.

I am currently writing a fifth book to set the record straight and to reveal God’s love and faithfulness. UBF only thinks of UBF not the millions of Christians around the world who are doing great work of God and not lording it over the flock. Once you told me that if I ever left, you would refund every penny I gave for offering in Cincinnati UBF. I feel the money was given to a very unhealthy ministry but I gave it first to God so please keep it. Yes, I met Christ in UBF and I learned the Bible much but the years of abuse and bad teachings under the UBF heritage eroded our family and your example on how to raise families is unacceptable. UBF is broken and many ways unhealthy for students, families, and even in the world. Those who speak out are branded as “evil” or “Satan” workers but in fact they are saving their families from more abuse and they are trying to show prayerful criticism which is healthy for a church if it wants to stop its abuses.

Recently, I learned that Dr. Samuel Lee even encouraged abortions which is wrong and contradicts the gospel of love and family. This mentality has carried over to you. Once you tried to stop me from having 5 children, now I see why because UBF does not believe in big families or even honor families. It is condoned to neglect your children to raise disciples even to this day. Meetings are so rigid and abusive. I remember the day you put pepper and onions in my brother John’s eyes when he did not cry during a testimony and I should have left then but I got so stuck in your way of serving God. This was wrong. My shepherd promised me a new truck on graduation and he never delivered. So many broken promises and I was so in love with God and the Bible that I overlooked these things but when my family was taken from me God opened my eyes. Since we left UBF, our family has been weighed down with much counseling and joining a healthy church has helped us to discover that there is no love in UBF but just unwritten rules left by a dead man, judgment on other Christians, and everyone there seems to be trying to work there way to heaven by numbers and raising disciples that they are truly out of the healthy balanced life of a true Christian. This is not the gospel of love. We have spent over $30,000 in counseling fees getting some assistance from the government. We feel this should be made good to us by UBF.

As far as your life, I do not believe you are healthy spiritually and that you are wrapped up in the UBF system that your prejudices are deep against other Christians and the body of Christ. The day you asked me to leave you said, “They teach bullshit.” As a man of God, I see that UBF needs healing and reform and needs to learn to love: beginning with the family unit and the children. Examine this area because there is a reason why God took us away. Please honor God’s family and don’t make parents guilty because they can’t make it to the meetings or can’t give large offerings. Stop making leaders to abandoned their children to attend all your meetings and to seriously restore the family units in Cincinnati and throughout UBF worldwide. God has made my life a voice of change and growth in UBF rather you like it or not. Stop trying to hide the abuses. You could not handle the truth of what happened to us so you sent me away and told me to keep my mouth shut. Big mistake because the gospel is larger than UBF and the church is wider and higher than the UBF heritage. God has set us on a path of peace and healing and He will finish what He has started and UBF must change. He has blessed me with an amazing new wife in His grace and He never stops working no matter where you end up. God is love.

I pray that you may reexamine your life and practices in light of the gospel and get rid of the abuse that is so much in UBF ministries world wide. I write you today as a voice of deep concern and pray that immediate action will be done for the sake of families. I write this with prayers and tears but deep concern for the families in the UBF system. It is time for UBF to repent and stop burdening those with your rules that you yourselves can’t bear. I pray that this Christmas the families may be honored.

In Christ,

bigbear

When the church becomes ugly

White boy sheep and HNWs. This reflection exposed my perspective and practice of Christian life. For two decades I was only interested in reaching, evangelizing and discipling young Caucasian Americans. The so-called “presentable parts” (1 Cor 12:24a) were the white boy sheep and HNWs (holy nation women or white women), terminology I no longer use. Thus, I ignored or despised anyone who is not white. They were “the parts that we think are less honorable” and “the parts that are unpresentable” (1 Cor 12:23). The most offensive term I ever coined (for which I am ashamed and speechless) is “paddies”–my short form for anyone who is not white. Their singular purpose as far as I was concerned was to “pad the number for our Sun church attendants”–“paddies.” To think that I never ever considered this offensive or racist for the longest time still daunts me. Even now I quiver with personal nauseating disgust and trepidation as I type this.

Exemplary. When I thought in such discriminatory ways I clearly was not a church for the less honorable, the unpresentable (1 Cor 12:23-24), the poor, the marginalized, the less fortunate, the ignored, the hurt, the wounded, the broken. I was only interested in young whites–the so-called “leadership material”–because they would make me, the fellowship leader, look good to the church. Since my fellowship had the most young white college kids for a couple of decades I became a sort of poster boy and was a so-called “exemplary shepherd” of an “exemplary fellowship.”

Sick caricature. My justification was that I wanted to raise future white young UBF leaders. The sad result of such a mentality is the caricature of other souls who were not white. Once I heard it said that one who is not white is worth one tenth of a white person. A few weeks ago I heard someone in the church being referred to as “a mental patient,” though she is a lovely young girl who was sadly physically abused as a child. A girl who is not white shared how some would move away from her after church, because they did not want to pray with her two by two. Such painful sentiments clouded my own perspective of people to the extent that I even ignored my own family. (Well, it is because they are not a white boy sheep or a HNW!)

Happy. Today, only by God’s mercy and grace, I am genuinely happy to meet anyone. I was happy to meet my Jewish patient. I am so happy to meet any non-Christian with no agenda other than to be friends. I do not wish to be an elitist church. As our West Loop UBF Church catchphrase says, we want to live out the gospel in life and community with no discrimination. Rather, we pray to especially welcome the less honorable and the unpresentable (1 Cor 12:23-24).

What has your experience been with welcoming the less honorable and the unpresentable?

A Clear ubf Teaching: more work=more blessing

This ubf teaching is “based on the Bible”. Matthew 25:21 says, “His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord”. The ubf chapter director taught us many times that:

“The kingdom of God is not communist, it is capitalist. It is a kingdom of justice. So the more you work the more you have. The more you do to feed sheep the much reward you will receive from God in heaven. There is no equality in the kingdom of God. The more one served on the earth the more he will have in heaven. The more you serve on the earth the higher you’ll have the position in the kingdom of God. And who serve God more than ubf missionaries? Nobody! Many have become even enemies of the cross. But ubf missionaries sacrificially serve God’s world mission. They will have the highest reward in the kingdom of God and will be the rulers over many”.

I want to provide some practical application of this ubf teaching which the director also gave us. Once I fished a new sheep. And the director told me “to give the sheep to the missionary because he will serve the sheep better than you”. I asked a simple question, “Why?”. So there was a special meeting in the chapter to help this proud shepherd. Four Korean missionaries and one proud Russian shepherd participated. The director asked the shepherd, “What do you think who is higher and better before God: a missionary or a native shepherd?” The shepherd answered, “I believe that a man can become a shepherd or a missionary only by God’s grace and in this grace missionaries and shepherds are equal”. The director said (or rather yelled)…

“What?! How could you even think this way?! You are proud like Satan! A shepherd can never become equal to a missionary, never! Every missionary sacrificed his homeland, left his country and went to another country as a missionary. This alone makes every missionary much higher than any shepherd before God. And what, do you think that a shepherd can become equal with a missionary in the kingdom of God?! Never! Missionaries sacrificed more and that’s why before God whatever you do you will always be lower than missionaries! You are just a shepherd, a low soldier, and missionaries are like generals”.

Then the director explained to me that because I cannot become equal to a missionary then it doesn’t matter if I give my sheep to the missionary. I should devote myself to more fishing (anyway my heavenly reward will be low no matter what I do).

Another missionary told me that if I give a sheep to the director then God will give me two other sheep instead. This missionary had already given his two sheep (who were shepherds at the time) to the director and was never able to fish a new sheep since that. The director never had a sheep whom he fished himself. He simply took all the sheep in the chapter to himself. And he said very often that he raised many disciples in Russia, “not like you, lazy shepherds who are busy with I don’t know what! You are cursed because you are not fulfilling your mission and are more busy with your jobs!”.

A servant among you?

Another basis for the teaching is John 13. Jesus washed the disciples’ feet. Then He said, “Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet”. And “Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him”.

The director taught us in this way:

“Look, I serve the whole chapter with the word of God and deliver the messages every Sunday. So I am like a servant among you. You are like masters. But who is higher before God: you or me? Of course it is me because I serve you”. Then, “Look, the servant is not greater than his lord. It is the same as in a family. Father brings his son up. He wants his son to grow up well. But whatever the son does he will be always the son. He will never become equal to his father. He will never become greater than his father. I see that you can become a great servant of God but for me you will always be like a son and I will always be like a father for you. I can have peace and not be afraid of your spiritual growth because you can never overgrow me. And you can grow only when I grow and train you well. So if you grow that means that I grow even more and train you well”.

The kingdom of unity and equality and love

Last week we had a group Bible study about the kingdom of heaven. And we talked about the beauty and attractiveness of God’s kingdom. We thought about the unity and equality and love in the Trinity of God. The kingdom of unity and equality and love is very attractive. Everyone would want to live in such a kingdom. It is the true paradise. And if a church is at least like a shadow of this kingdom of God then many people would want to be part of the church, part of the brotherhood of love. But I said, “You know, Korean missionaries believe that there must be hierarchy in the church and there will be hierarchy in the kingdom of heaven. They believe that they will have very high positions in heaven and will rule over many simple people like we are. So if that be true would you like to enter such kingdom of heaven and live there forever?”.

Guess what the reaction was… Everyone agreed that such a kingdom with Korean rulers would be very unattractive. And everyone agreed that this hierarchy and lording over and pride of Korean directors led the native people out of the ubf chapter. (btw if you make a google search for Presbyterian churches in Moscow you will find about 60 of them and absolutely all of them have Korean pastors/directors and mostly each of them consists of only the Korean pastor’s family. These churches with Korean pastors don’t attract anyone in Moscow and it is not difficult to guess why).

As I thought about this ubf teaching, I began to understand why ubf directors act the way they act. They will never wish to “let the natives lead” and will never wish to let the Holy Spirit lead and will never wish to let Jesus be the King and the Lord in the life of believers because if they let they will lose their reward in heaven. If they lose their high directors’ positions on earth then they believe they will lose their high positions in heaven. If they lose their authority on earth then they will be simply losers, in this life and even in the life everlasting. I understand why ubf directors like being in photos so much (in the special places of honor and leadership), why they like reports so much. I understand why there is such a competitive atmosphere in ubf. I understand why ubf like to pray about numbers.

Do you share the Korean missionaries’ beliefs about the kingdom of God? Do you think these beliefs are based on the Bible? Would you like to participate in the competitive and number seeking labour and other ubf activities? Is the kingdom of God more like capitalist or communist?  Is the kingdom of God more like the Trinity or like an eternal hierarchy? Is the kingdom of God more like Christian or Confucian? Would you like to join or stay in such a Korean church with such a teaching and beliefs?

Building one’s own kingdom

Leave and go. God’s intent and directional flow is for everyone to leave his father and mother and go forth to begin anew by exploring the world as good stewards (Gen 2:24). But after sin was born, every man’s sinful default is to do the very opposite. Instead of leaving and exploring, man stays to build up their own small kingdoms. Sadly, this is what churches and Christian ministries have done over the centuries. A church starts well by the work of the Holy Spirit. They may grow and even explode, as I believe UBF did for a few decades. But after an initial period of growth, stagnation and eventual decline often happens, as seems to be presently happening throughout the UBF world. Why?

So many good churches. There are many reasons. For one, people have many more options, and choices of many great churches to go to. Even around UIC and West Loop, I have become friends with many local pastors, who are truly godly Christian men and excellent preachers, pastors and teachers, who are serving many in the community I live in as well as reaching out to UIC students.

The need to control others. Nonetheless, I maintain that the primary reason anyone leaves any church is because of a weakened or broken relationship, often caused by the need of one person to control the other person. Again, isn’t it true that so many native leaders left UBF over the past decade mainly because they felt that their chapter director wanted to keep their authority and control over them? Isn’t it true that those chapter director(s) simply could not bear to lose their control and authority over their so-called “sheep”? Didn’t they want so badly to keep their sheep under them that God scattered them to other churches?

Let my people go. A major point that I have repeatedly said over the past decade is: “Let my people go” (Ex 9:1). If Christian leaders try to forcibly and coercively hold their church members, they weaken and eventually break their relationship with them. Worse yet, they are resisting the biblical mandate to go into all the world (Mk 16:15). Even if they do not go to all nations (Mt 28:19), at least let them go out into their own community of choice, based on their own initiative and preference without undue interference by the hierarchy of the church. Can we let local leaders lead? This allows for the free flowing organic work of the Holy Spirit (Jn 3:8), which is sadly often quenched by some Christian leaders who act as though it is their right to control the work of the Holy Spirit.

You’re not ready. UBF grew much initially because the Holy Spirit worked mightily. Samuel Lee allowed able young leaders to have stewardship and leadership over their own chapters and churches in their 30s. But these leaders who are now in their 50s and 60s are not willing to allow their own members in their 30s to lead their own chapters and churches. They say, “they are not ready,” or “they need more humbleness training,” etc. Isn’t this simply an excuse for keeping people with them and controlling people under them?

Is God scattering people from UBF, because some leaders in UBF are trying to hold and control people excessively?

I promised her that I will humbly blog on some of my special unique sins as a pastor and leader in UBF. This is going to be painful, ouch.

Tripp calls it the encroachment of the kingdom of self into our Christian ministry/church, where we shift our treasure from Christ to ourselves. This is then expressed through the way we serve the ministry/ church. He identifies five of a long list of what he calls “treasure shifts,” which is idolatry–the idolatry of self, expressed through our pastoring, preaching, teaching and leading the church.

1. Moving from Identity in Christ to Identity in Ministry. For decades my most deeply felt identity was in being a so-called “exemplary fruitful UBF shepherd and 1:1 Bible teacher.” Of course, I say that I identify myself as being a child of God (Jn 1:12), saved only by his grace (Eph 2:8-9). But the reality is that for decades I have been far more moved and happy about my horizontal identity in UBF as a fruitful exemplary shepherd.

2. Defining My Spiritual Well-Being by My Ministry. Yes, I had many sheep and many disciples. But Tripp says that growth in influence must not be confused with growth in grace. The fact that many became Christians through my shepherding is really no measure of my spiritual maturity in Christ. Because of my “outward success” I viewed myself as being more mature that I actually am. I became primarily inclined and motivated to teach others, without clearly coming under my own teaching and preaching (Rom 2:21).

3. Hunger for Honor and for the Praise of People. I am always so happy to hear whenever anyone mentions my name. Since there are many doctors in UBF, whenever anyone says Dr. I anticipate that it would be Ben following the Dr., even though countless times it is Dr. “someone else.” That is how self centered I became in living for the praise and acknowledgement of people in the church (Jn 5:44; 12:43). Clearly, I have become seduced by the treasure of my own reputation.

4. Seeing Myself as Way Too Essential to What God is Doing. Basically, I think and feel as though I am indispensable, and that without me, the work of God would be greatly and negatively impacted. Functionally, I think and feel as though I am the Messiah and savior for many “helpless sheep.” Without me, who can solve their “marriage problem”?

5. Depending on My Own Experience and Gifts. My “gift”—for what it’s worth—is that I am direct and confrontational, bold and blunt, abrupt and abrasive. So I tend to think that unless people are clearly directly challenged, they will never repent. I also depended excessively on my decades of experience in serving sheep, such that my prayer and wisdom are clearly deficient. Once, I would not listen to others about waiting before blessing a young couple to marry, thinking that through my own shepherding, dozens of people have previously married by faith. Then when this couple subsequently divorced, I saw my own ugly overweening pride in depending on my own experience.

This likely just touches the tip of the iceberg regarding the depth of my depravity and sins. May God have mercy on me and lead me to himself.

I hope my wife is pleased with this post!! (I hear a voice saying in my head, “Repent, you incorrigible sinner!”)

Can you relate to these “leader idolatries”?

I cared. I still do. I love each and every one of these people deeply. I love each and every person in Toledo UBF deeply. It pains me even more deeply to see the flesh of the Body of Christ torn asunder by the abuse of power and authority and by the apathetic attitude of the very people who call themselves shepherds. 

I also care deeply about the “giants” who also left. The last leaders to leave Toledo UBF were the “ancestors”–the Gambers and the Wilsons (If they or others share something with me I reserve the right to post a “part 3” here)

My resignation as director of Detroit UBF came after over 4 months of intense discussions. I tried everything I could to bring attention to the problems these friends were expressing. I sent over 500 emails. My wife and I met SB in person for over 6 hours. I drove to Toledo. I later drove to Chicago.

I couldn’t believe I was witnessing the same pseudo-religious, political manipulations I had witnessed during the departures of 13 prior leader families who had left Toledo UBF from 1990 to 2007. In fact, I was stunned to see that I was watching the 1990 events all over again.

During  my last UBF worship service in Toledo UBF, I left early. Before I left, I said to the person sitting next to me who had experienced much anguish over these events: “I won’t let this go”. To this day, two years later, I’ve kept that promise. So without further ado, here is our story. Please listen. Please do not pour salt on our wounds. Please see our concerns.

A 14 Page Letter

“See previous 14 page letter and Emily’s letter. We did it, it wasted my time.”
–submitted by TF

Letter to the Committee 

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

Recently it was asked in the Committee meeting what issues I have that have led to my decisions and current separation from Toledo ministry. I would like to share those reasons clearly with you. I share them in the spirit of love and hope.

My primary concern with Toledo UBF is the ministry of God’s word. Since November, I have had a large burden on my heart about the word of God that was being preached in the Sunday worship service. On many occasions, I felt that the gospel was not being made clear and that God’s grace was often overshadowed by our works. Frequently the emphasis is on our response, what we do. It is often expressed using words like “must” “need” “absolute.” The problem is that these words are condemning unless the focus remains on the love and grace of Jesus. Because as we all know, our works must flow out of love, not even out of obedience. It is a careful balance that must be maintained every day.

For example when we studied John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me” the emphasis was on the command “do not” instead of God’s invitation to trust in him instead of worrying. The idea that we can “not” worry by our own effort, by our faith, by our strength, by obedience to God’s command, takes away our very need for a Savior. God knows our hearts are troubled so He invites us to trust in him. Similarly, when we studied John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another” the focus was on the word “must” not the word “love.”

As Paul writes, “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:2). Even if we could never worry or constantly even treat everyone well by our own behavior, Paul makes it clear, it is worthless without Christ’s love being at the center. The focus on what we should be able to do by faith, out of obedience, becomes a source of condemnation if it is not intimately tied to Christ’s love. These may seem like small semantic problems but they are not small when the result is an unclear gospel and feelings of burden and condemnation.

I believe that the balance of faith and works and love in our ministry is in trouble and I think that the root of that problem is in the ministry of God’s word. For several years, we have gone from messenger to messenger as Pastor Paul has travelled. While this in itself is not a problem, the inconsistency and the lack of time people have to meditate the passage, but more importantly the amount of freedom that messengers have in allowing the Holy Spirit speak to them and deliver the message that God gives them. Instead, an oppressive control seems to restrict the work of the Holy Spirit in our messages. My burden about this and its effect on Toledo ministry became so large that Tuf and I addressed our concerns with Pastor Paul a few months ago. However, this issue has not been adequately addressed or changed yet.

This is also true to our bible studies. A few Saturdays ago, I realized how unacceptable it is to continually reuse the same question sheets year and year, often giving and receiving the same answers. I often here “senior” leaders saying things like, “I have studied this so many times. I did not really receive anything new.” But as we know, 2 Timothy 3:16 reads: “All Scripture is God-breathed” and as Peter writes: “For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God” (1 Peter 1:23). The word of God is alive and it works in us to grow and change us. But when we restrict the Spirit in the word of God, we lose that living aspect. Instead, we sit bored in bible study, surfing the internet and writing down the “answers” to the questions. Bible study should be a lively and refreshing Spirit-filled discussion.

I see the issue of the ministry of God’s word as both a cause of our current situation and a result of our current situation. My recommendation is that reviving the ministry of God’s word becomes a priority. New, fresh, open, discussion based question sheets need to be written. Messages need to be fresh and truly inspired by the Holy Spirit. Also, I believe that it would be most useful for a few people to work on this together and the messages given by a few consistent people in addition to Pastor Paul because it is too serious and too difficult a task for people to undertake randomly.

Which leads directly into my second major issue, the viability of a lay ministry the size of Toledo. I am not sure how anyone could pastor a ministry the size of Toledo while also working full-time. The work to meditate God’s word, to minister to students, families, men, women, high school students, children. To lead the ministry forward so as to remain alive and vibrant and an influence on campus. These are things that people could be devoted to full-time.

I feel like a major problem at the moment is that we have to much to do and as a result, we do not do things well. Instead of being able to move forward, we are spinning our wheels in place. We are “maintaining.” Many people have spoken of the need for true mentors in our ministry. Younger leaders struggle with how to live this life—kids, work, ministry—with joy in our hearts. I know this is true for me in the absence of TP and MP. But I think that what we also need to see is that this is more than giving advice to one another. While I appreciate Mark Gamber’s desire to meet and work with young families, I think we should also ask, based on what? Just experience? While that is valuable, it is not enough. We need to grow in our understand of how to grow personally and how to raise up others. We need to open our hearts and minds and become new wineskins. There are so many books, organizations, workshops, outside ministries that could inform what we do. Why are we not using these things as a resource? And in fact, often seem to have a suspicion and wariness towards them?

I think the conversation of how we can more effectively serve students and each other is a very important conversation to be had in our ministry. And a continual conversation, as we never reach the end of our growth, and just when we think we have it figured out, it all changes.

My final concern is our attitude towards student ministry. Not long ago, I was thinking and praying about the kind of church I would like Tabor to find in Ohio University. My desire is for a vibrant, active, meaningful ministry that students really want to be a part of. Then I realized that this is what we are supposed to be but in many ways we are not. I am not suggesting that we have nothing to offer students because we do. But I am suggesting that what we want often takes precedence over what would be best for students.

A recent example of this has been with our praise bands, easily one of the best aspects of our ministry at the moment, maybe the best. Students are engaged. They are clearly filled with a spirit of praise for God, a spirit they hope to help others find. They are full of ideas and passion and creativity but for some reason we are reluctant to let them actually be leaders and use those things. For example, the tight restrictions on the amount of new songs that they do and the requirements on old songs that older members want to hear is just strange. The praise band should be allowed a lot more freedom than this. And people who don’t like the new songs need to open their hearts to what students like and to what students are listening to. I’m not sure what exactly it is that we are afraid will happen if the student leaders actually lead praise band and are able to make choices for themselves. I am not suggesting that there is not some oversight, but let’s just see what they do. Let’s let the Spirit lead and work instead of keeping such a tight leash on the possible work of God that can be done through and in them.

Our Friday night is an excellent example of how things can be changed to be more engaging and interesting and student-friendly. I thank God for those who have been involved in restructuring and reviving that meeting. The same thing should be done with our Sunday worship service. Right now it is long, dry and boring. It needs to be revived.

In the educational conference I attended last week, an expert on designing and innovating for the future led us through a creative problem strategizing session. It was excellent. But interestingly, the very first step to designing an innovation solution to a problem began with empathy. We need to understand our audience, who we hope to appeal with, and empathize with them. We need to consider them. And we need to do this with students. We need to listen to them, get to know them, and ask THEM what they want, what they like. Again, I feel like this is also often approached with a sense of fear and wariness. This pride that our ministry is superior to other ministries and the distrust of outside ideas is no different than the pride of the Pharisees. It is what Jesus explicitly preached against time after time.

The bottom line became that I do not feel like I can serve God’s mission here. I am not comfortable bringing students into our ministry at the moment. I need to be able to bring students to a place that I have no question that the word of God that will be preached and its practices are biblical and sound. And since I know a lot of students who are ready to be ministered to, I feel like I need to take this problem very seriously.

I want to finish by saying that I do believe that Toledo ministry will be restored. I believe that God’s word and Spirit are here and will be revived. I believe that God is working and will continue His work to the end. I thank God for Mother Barry’s visit and for her message, “And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come” (Mt 24:14). God will do this. We are invited to be a part of it but it is not contingent on our works. However, whether God is calling me and my family to be a part of this revival in Toledo ministry, we are not sure about yet. We are waiting patiently (trying!) in the confusing in-between and have great peace that this is exactly where God wants us to be at this moment. We have been attending Cedar Creek and North Point services and may explore other churches. If nothing else, I am learning a lot about what other ministries are doing and it has been a valuable source of information. Tuf and I are praying deeply for God’s direction and will do whatever God wants us to do. If it is to stay and serve with you, I will gladly join you. But for now, I needed some space in order to receive God’s word and really be able to hear God’s direction.

I pray that these words may be helpful and encouraging. I offer them in a spirit of love and open coworking. Feel free to forward this email to anyone who may want to read them.

With great love and hope,
Emily

“We left Toledo UBF in August 2011 for several reasons. Fran and I both agreed that this was not a ministry to raise a family. Despite the efforts put forth by families we love and care about, our children were not learning and growing. There was no real support for children’s ministry by the church as a whole. Primary emphasis was on college students. So much so that families and children were over looked. The phrase family centered still upsets me. I personally gave up attending Friday meetings regularly a long while before we left because my wife and kids needed my attention more than the church.

We also left because we knew in our hearts that God was calling us elsewhere. We no longer had the college student mission as a family with three young children. God gave us three precious kids for special reason. They became our focus.

Furthermore….

We both were torn up emotionally from seeing all of our closest friends leave. With exception of a couple families, our nearest friends were hurt, betrayed, and not cared for. It broke our hearts. It started with our fellowship falling apart after one brother was mistreated by ubf leaders in Korea and Toledo. All the sudden our entire fellowship left. One family stayed for a short while but they too were hurting. Then, Fran and I accepted role of fellowship leader. This should have never even happened. In hind sight we should have said no and been taken in and loved by the ministry. Instead we were looked at as a exemplary family of faithfulness. We were broken. Fast forward to 2011 and more of our friends were hurt and left. It was too painful to stay.

Finally, Sunday worship became very dull and burdensome. Particularly i was not receiving from the messages for the most part. If I could circle back to the lack of family support. During a Friday meeting in august 2011, after several families and friends left Fran asked a sr. Leader if we could pray for our family and children’s ministry with all the pain and suffering. This so called leader said “no, tonight is student night, let’s not burden them with that.” This floored us and might have been the last straw. Contrary to popular belief we did not leave due to burdens of this life, but burdens from a ministry that hurt so many people that we loved and cared about, with no attempt for reconciliation. We could not grow there nor did we want our kids to continue to be involved where so much hurt and pain persisted. We pray for those we know there and pray God can bring about whatever His plan is for UBF.
–submitted by the Ellis family

“I left because rules were stressed over grace and obedience over love. UBF’s way of doing things were attributed to God’s way of doing things and obedience to leaders in UBF was considered obedience to God. This was evident in the messages. It was evident in the environment, where charts with stars and the traditions of UBF were more prominent than anything related to love or grace. It was evident in social interactions which became increasingly contentious even among leaders. The result was that while I spent all of my time to help children in CBF meet Jesus, and to show the high school students I taught professionally the love of Christ, I was made to feel guilty because I was not feeding sheep, even though I was doing what I felt called to do. In addition, my involvement in UBF took away time I needed to show my wife and children the love of Jesus, a tension I was never happy with. When I brought up any of these issues, no one listened. T and E were much more vocal than I was. They, in love, let ph know that the ministry was in danger and pleaded with him to institute changes. His response was that he did not care if everyone left, he could start over with one family. Then I knew that UBF traditions were more important than people to UBF leaders. I began to see the hollowness and deception inherent in UBF theology. And finally I began to see that leaders in UBF did not mind committing grievous sins in order to protect a man-made organization and its silly traditions. This was the end. I was completely embarrassed that I was ever a member. I needed to love my family. I needed to experience grace and freedom in Christ rather than condemnation. I needed time to rethink everything I had been taught. Most of all, I needed to learn to develop a personal relationship with Jesus and to find His path for me, rather than having a path imposed on me by an institution that I found to be arrogant, inflexible, obtuse, and insensitive. I could no longer follow Jesus in such a context. I love many UBF people, but hope the institution as I experienced it dies so that it can no longer present a perverted Gospel, justify the neglect of children and give Christianity a bad name.”
–submitted by the Muehling family

“I believe it was shortly after attending the European conference in the spring of 2011 that we began to question whether or not we were in the right place. In our eyes, the state of the ministry was becoming somewhat dark. At the time, we likened it to a cloudy fish tank where the fish in the bowl were blindly swimming around. To us, the cloudiness was some sort of spiritual darkness. In that environment, no one could really see the state of one another or help each other. And no outside Christian community (UBF or otherwise) could see inside either.

To us, the main problem was that Sunday messages did not sit with us well. At first, it was just that God’s word wasn’t able to speak for itself and messengers seemed to be emphasizing an idea or a point that they just wanted to make. Eventually, we heard unbiblical, heretical statements from the pulpit. Most importantly, the gospel wasn’t being presented clearly and human effort and works were being emphasized instead. Ultimately, the things that we heard on Sunday planted a sense of mistrust and we came to the point where we couldn’t worship God freely.

In July of 2011, we presented this issue as well as two other unresolved issues to the pastor and our fellowship: (1) The ministry was disjointed with no co-working between the pastor and the ministry as a whole. Key relationships of “senior” leaders were damaged and broken so that the ministry couldn’t function fully. And they weren’t being resolved. We felt limited in what could be done for God’s work and we felt that our full involvement was condoning unresolved issues and broken relationships to continue. (2) Two other families had recently left because they were legitimately mistreated and there was an absolutely silent response to it. Sure, people hurt people. But these families had been part of the ministry for a long time, were truly hurt, and nothing was done. To us, losing a part of the body and not apologizing or doing anything about it immediately was wrong. We didn’t hear any public prayers or see any acts of love go out to those who left and this broke our hearts.

While presenting these, we privately prayed for the spiritual health of the UBF community, including our pastor. But we also began attending two worship services — Saturday evenings at a local church and Sunday mornings at UBF. We did this for about four months and we prayed. We participated in helping the Leadership Council be established. But the items we had brought up were not addressed.

In November 2011, we received the final tug from God for us to go in another direction. Of course, we still have friends in UBF. We’ve heard of changes and of things being different. But we haven’t considered going back because God has led our family in a new direction. Our family still has the same calling. We’re just in a different community where we are safe, we can worship God, and we can be involved in great and beautiful things for God.”
–submitted by the Roth family

Simply put, I left UBF because God led me out. I prayed and agonized for months, open to whatever God wanted, until the Holy Spirit moved me, made me know it was time to go. I even attended two worship services during my final year in Toledo UBF, the UBF service and a service at another church. I was in UBF for eight years, and the longer I stayed, the worse the problems became and the more aware of them I became.

There were several problems with Toledo UBF.

First, I was always made to feel like I was never good enough. Despite helping to lead HBF, running tech for Sunday services, meeting with college students, and doing several other things, none of that was good enough because I wasn’t teaching the Bible one-to-one. I wasn’t good enough because I wasn’t disciplined enough, spiritually or physically. I didn’t attend early morning prayer meetings, and SH told me I needed to go at least one morning a week, as she said, “to show people.” (I told her I had no need or desire to prove my faith to anyone.) I was already a self-conscious person, but I became even more so during my time in Toledo UBF. I felt judged. I was almost always on edge, ready for the next critique. While it’s true I will never be deserving of God’s grace, the Holy Spirit finally broke through to my heart shortly before I left and reminded me what I had learned when Christ saved me: God loves me as I am. Christ died for me long before I even knew him. I am loved enough to die for. To feel crushed almost all the time is not what God wants for me.

Second, I became offended by “shepherding” as practiced by Toledo UBF. I value my relationship with the Holy Spirit. His guidance has been of monumental importance in my life. But UBF puts the “shepherd” in the place of the Holy Spirit. You’re expected to talk to your shepherds before making any decisions, rely on them, take direction from them. Instead of encouraging relationships with the Holy Spirit, people were expected to be puppets manipulated by their “shepherds” and “leaders.” And the Holy Spirit was seldom talked about, seldom preached about, if I remember correctly. In addition to this idea of “shepherding” was this idea that “leaders” knew what was best for others in the ministry. For example, at one time, I was up for a promotion at work, which would have moved me to a store a little over an hour away from Toledo. I had been praying very specific prayers about this job, even about the opportunity to interview for it, and God had been answering very specifically, and he was opening doors. It was really an amazing experience. I had also already decided to commute if I got the job. I was pretty quiet about it while I was interviewing because I felt I would be judged by my Bible teachers for making what would seem to them a stupid decision. When I did tell someone in the ministry, it was JP. I asked him to pray for me. He told me no. He said he couldn’t pray for me because then I would leave sisters house. He had no idea what God had already done, how he had already opened the door. JP didn’t bother to inquire about anything, just simply refused to pray for me because of one “negative consequence” he was certain would occur. I didn’t even tell my Bible teachers when I got the job. They found out weeks later and, as predicted, they thought I had made a poor decision.

Third, Toledo UBF operated on the understanding that there was only one way to do things, that every Christian had to be the same. Everyone had to be a Bible teacher. Everyone had to do the same kind of daily devotion (and the time of day you did it either increased or decreased its worth somehow). There was little-to-no real appreciation of individuals’ gifts, unless they were gifts already deemed beneficial and worthy, like musical gifts. Instead of allowing God to work through the uniqueness of his creations, Toledo UBF had this mold that it worked very hard to force people into.

Fourth, there was a mentality among many – maybe not all – that UBF was THE ministry. There was this sense, this idea, that no other ministry could do what UBF was doing. JP said to me, when I told him I was considering leaving, that I would never find another ministry that delivered the word of God the way UBF did. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I hoped that was true, which leads me to my next point.

Fifth, messages were tragic. GL delivered a message at a spring conference in 2011 (I think that’s the right year), in which he declared that we needed to pray for God to glorify us. I couldn’t believe it when I heard him say it. Then PH got up to deliver prayer topics and announcements and tried to justify it! What?! PH’s messages also appeared to be directed at rebuking certain people sometimes. Additionally, we studied the same passages repeatedly, and there were really only a handful of “lessons” that were constantly recycled and inserted into these passages. Messages conformed passages into the points the “leaders” wanted to make, as opposed to letting the Holy Spirit work freely through God’s word. (I will say that not everyone’s messages were like this, but most of the messages were or appeared to me to be so.)

Sixth, I was sick of people being judgmental and manipulative. SH became my Bible teacher later in my time at Toledo UBF. She explicitly taught me that women needed to be more spiritual because often or most of the time when people left the ministry it was because of the wife. She used MP as an example. SH also worked behind the scenes, manipulating people.

You know, on my final Sunday at Toledo UBF I really tried to pay attention to the message. I knew I was leaving, my decision was made, but I was listening, half-hoping for some sign that PH had changed, even a little. I was looking for some reason for the Holy Spirit to call me to stay. I was sadly disappointed. I forget now what the message was, but in it PH spoke of people leaving and problems within the ministry. He spoke of his own part and said he accepted responsibility, but it was obvious he didn’t mean it. It was obvious he had no sense that he had done anything wrong at all. It was heartbreaking. When I approached JW afterward to tell him I was leaving, he just looked at me with such sadness and said, PH doesn’t get it. And then we hugged each other and cried. Then I left.
–submitted by KB

“After living the UBF heritage, defending the UBF heritage and examining the UBF heritage for the past 26 years (since 1987), I have concluded that anyone who adheres to this ideological system will eventually build a cult. I left UBF because I wholeheartedly rejected the UBF 12 point heritage system. I find this system to be so severely flawed and full of contradictions that any sensible human being ought to reject the UBF heritage because full implementation of the heritage can only lead to severe misuse of authority, improper ennoblement of power and abuses of many kinds. Every Christian ought to reject the UBF 12 point heritage system as heresy that undermines the gospel of Jesus Christ by enslaving people to ideologies and behaviors that become extreme entanglements and hindrances to personal freedom and human well-being. I left UBF ministry because the UBF 12 point heritage has caused massive division among Christian brothers and sisters of many nations for over 50 years, tearing at the very sinews of the Body of Christ. I left in order to save my wife from such entrapment and to spare my children from ever knowing such burdens. And finally, I left in order to preserve my sanity, to restore broken relationships with numerous relatives and friends, and so that I could begin my long road of recovery as I follow Jesus Christ my Lord through the promptings and leading of the Holy Spirit who speaks through the Holy Scriptures. All praise, glory, honor, power and authority belong solely to our Lord Jesus Christ in whom is found all supremacy, necessity and sufficiency for a full, hopeful, joyful and amazing life.”
–submitted by Brian Karcher

Ben Toh did not start UBFriends! There is supposedly a rumor circulating that Ben Toh started UBFriends with ignoble intent. This shocked even me! As much as I would love to take credit for having the ingenuity and creative genius to start UBFriends, but TBT and TBH and FWIW I am so sorry to disappoint you that I was NOT involved in starting UBFriends. In fact, I had never blogged when UBFriends published its first article on June 24, 2010 (my first article was published five months later on Nov 4).

Brian was a hardcore UBF loyalist when he joined Joe to start UBFriends in 2010. This might be most surprising to many people. UBF people think that Brian was a “really bad guy” from the outset of UBFriends. But Brian writes, “It is interesting to look back, Joe. When you asked me to join this effort (of starting UBFriends), I was a ubf loyalist, I was ‘in.’ No one, especially me, would have ever dreamed of any remote possibility that I would ever even consider leaving the ministry. Indeed I had no intention of ever doing such a thing.” I thought this is so interesting because of the things UBF insiders say about Brian. But the Brian who started UBFriends was as “harcore hardline UBF” as any other. Surprising, right??

Joe says that UBFriends today happened by default. What? UBFriends was not started to stir controversy?? UBFriends today was not what Joe originally intended. Rather, it happened according to the deep needs of UBF people who had no place in most UBF chapters to share their hearts freely, openly and safely. While responding to Terry about safe places where people can freely speak up, this is what Joe wrote:

“Because UBF never created the space for victims to process their stories, UBFriends has now become that space. When we started this website three years ago, that was not our intention. But that is what happened by default, by necessity, because there was literally nowhere else where someone who was hurt by ubf could tell the story and have at least a few current ubf members listen without being dismissed. As a founder of this website, it does pain me to see that this website has morphed into something other than what I had envisioned. But it pains me much more when members of the ubf community criticize this website as unproductive and unhealthy… Until UBF creates generous safe spaces within itself for these stories to be heard and validated and processed by the community, I will not discourage anyone from sharing those stories here.”

Can UBF people freely ask ANY QUESTION? My personal hope is that more and more UBF leaders will process and understand the above paragraph. The gist of it may be that some UBF leaders and chapters do not welcome any serious probing questions about their authority or about ongoing and long standing unhealthy or abusive practices. Until this changes, I predict that UBFriends will continue to thrive. I am surprised at the spurts of increased traffic and comments on this website, most recently over the past week. I am still shocked that there are 355 comments on my recent article about my concerns about the 2013 ISBC! This suggests just how much UBF people are unable to freely discuss their concerns in their own UBF chapter or with their own shepherds and leaders, either at present or in the past or both.

In brief, Ben Toh did not start UBFriends, Brian was “hardcore UBF” when he started UBFriends in 2010, and Joe’s intention was not what UBFriends has become today. I hope this clears up a few misconceptions. Any other questions? Comments?

___________________________________

Luke 2:19 “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (NIV84)

For 24 years I have quietly stored up many things in my heart. I have pondered these things over and over nearly every day since 1987.

Here is an explanation of my current situation. I have not yet left UBF ministry as a whole. I am seeking any possibility of a role for me in UBF.  But I have decided not to remain connected to Toledo UBF, apart from the personal frienships I have made. I will not listen to any Toledo UBF message nor will I accept any direction of any kind from Toledo UBF.

These are the three reasons why my family will no longer be connected to Toledo UBF and why we expect to leave UBF completely by the end of this year (unless there is some miracle of God’s intervention…)

– There is no further training for me in UBF. I have exhausted the training methods and programs available to an American Christian. God has called me to be a pastor and shepherd and missionary, not a director.

– There is no role for my family in UBF.  My children, wife and I need Christian fellowship and ministry together, not alone. We have no way to effectively help C and V and their daughter as a lone house church in UBF-style ministry.

– There is no evidence of repentance among senior Korean leaders in Toledo and little evidence of actual repentance in the 50th anniversary celebrations/missino statement.  I have heard a lot of appologies and condolensces, but no significant change.  There have been some slight behavior changes the past 24 years, but no repentance at the top leadership level.

Here is a timeline of my desire to leave and decisions to stay up to this point:

In 1987 I began Bible study at the invitation of both ES and Dr.PH, who met me in my dorm room. Soon I wanted to leave. I decided to stay because of the welcoming heart of ED and several women missionaries, and my friendship with TP.

In 1988 I wanted to leave because of my father’s slow march to death from ALS. I decided to stay in UBF because I found salvation in Christ through this ministry during the Lake Geneva Easter Bible conference.

In 1992 I wanted to leave because I wanted to start dating again. I decided to stay because I found God’s vision to be a missionary to Russia.

In 1994 I wanted to leave because I saw no chance to actually be trained as a missionary.  I decided to stay because of the Godly relationships I made, most importantly, the new relationship with my wife M (We were married the same day as T and M, who had become good friends).

In 2003 I wanted to leave because of the way my relationship with Dr.P was broken through the Detroit pioneering process.  I decided to stay because JP helped me see the stone of bitterness in my heart. God removed that stone. Then I decided to stay in order to obey God, to “keep face” with missionaries and in order to not ruin other people’s faith.

In 2006 I wanted to leave because I heard the struggles of my best friend, TP. I saw the patterns of good Christian families leaving being repeated again and again since 1990.  I decided to stay out of obedience to God and out of a desire to keep my calling, not realizing that God’s calling can be kept in any number of contexts, not just in UBF.

In 2009 I wanted to leave because I read James and Rebekah Kim’s open letters on the internet regarding the 1990 event. I read those letters completely for the first time. I fell into deep despair over this and my personal financial struggles, which were near bankruptcy.  I decided to stay because I saw the movie “The Passion of Christ”.  Through this and the message I delivered on the cross of Jesus at a conference, my faith was restored and I felt God’s healing of my emotions. I decided to stay in UBF only to find a reason to stay.

In 2011 (April) I heard about T and E’s struggles and observed the significant decline in quality of Toledo UBF messages since 2006. I saw a huge and growing gap between the perception of our ministry and the reality of our ministry. I resigned as Detroit UBF director because this role is not pleasing to God and is not healthy for me or my family or our house church. I decided to stay in order to “stand in the gap” based on Ezekiel 22:29-31.

In 2011 (July) I had many discussions with my mother-in-law, my grandmother, a pastor from a small town church in Ohio, many Toledo UBF coworkers, senior Christian leaders like John Armstrong, senior people in UBF like Sarah Barry, Ben Toh, Joshua Yoon, Ron Ward and Joe Schafer.  I decided to stay in UBF to see a new fabric woven into the old fabric of UBF.

My current personal mission statement is this: “Weave a new fabric of grace, truth, faith, hope and love for Jesus, dialogue by dialogue.”

It has been suggested to me that I meet various people in Toledo to discuss my issues. I am not interested in some closed-door meeting that magically reconciles all things.  I am interested in answers. I am open to dialogue. Here is a list of questions I have for Toledo UBF coworkers. They are not rhetorical. Not everyone has the answer to all the qustions.  But together, there are enough people who can answer these questions. Until we in UBF repent by opening up dialogues, facing tough questions and honestly analyzing our spiritual problems, we will not find God’s healing. Nor will we move on to the greater things of God.

Event 1: The 1990 moving of the Kim’s.
Were our actions illegal according to Ohio Law?
Did these actions violate the US Constitution, Article 4?
Did these actions violate God’s commands to love our neighbor?

Event 2: The Detroit chapter pioneering.
Why was I not allowed to form a pioneering committee to assist?
Why were we demanded to travel to Toledo every Sunday for 6 months?
Why did we not discuss being missionaries to Russia?
Why were we just left in Detroit alone for 8 years?

Event 3: Succession of leadership in Toledo UBF.
Why were AN, TP, MG, PP, SR not groomed to become pastor?
Why is there confusion about being a director vs. being a pastor?
Is there any plan for someone besides Dr.P to be pastor?
How does this situation compare to what happened in Bowling Green?

Event 4: Dead dog training.
What is dead dog training?
Does this training still exist or anything like it?
Why is obedience to authority so highly valued?

Event 5: The gospel.
What is the gospel?
What does UBF have to learn from other churches?

Event 6: Christian ministry.
What is the role of a pastor?
How does a pastor work with other elders?
How does a pastor help church members fine their role and gifts from the Holy Spirit?
What doctrines and teachings should a pastor be reading and knowing?

Event 7: Systematic problems with UBF.
T and N already expounded on this. I agree with all of what they said regarding ministry problems and ways to change.
Why is it so difficult to listen to honest, truthful Christians who have ideas for improving the ministry?
Why are those who speak the most honestly and truthfully driven away from the ministry?

In Christ our Lord who is the supreme authority,
Brian Karcher

David was a man after God’s own heart.

David called upon God in his moments of struggle. He gave praise to God in his moments of triumph. In moments of sin he earnestly repented and prayed to once again be right with God. David loved God above everything and everyone. There are a number of reasons why David demonstrated loyalty to Saul. He had first been a harp player to help Saul through the torment of an evil spirit. After slaying Goliath Saul kept David with him like family and did not let him return to his father’s house. (Jonathan had also made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.) Later Saul became David’s father in law. As time passed David’s success in military campaigns raised him up among the people.

It must be highlighted in 1 Samuel 24 that David has his first opportunity to strike down Saul. Verses 4-7 read, “The men said, ‘This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’ Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. Afterward David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. He said to his men, ‘The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lift my hand against him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.’ With these words David rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way.”

After looking closely at this event it is clear that David was willing to make a move to harm Saul despite his relations. David only cut a corner piece of robe, but immediately realized the danger before him. He was conscience-stricken as a result of the Lord God. We must remember that David almost always called on the Lord and accepted any guidance for his life. Indeed he could have struck Saul down, but he didn’t because Saul was God’s anointed. David did not even let his own men take action. David feared God more than anything and was not willing to strike down God’s anointed – even a rejected king. David’s loyalty was rather to the Lord God.

It must be added that after David had heard about Saul’s death along with his sons that David had the Amalekite who lifted his hand to Saul run through. David’s attitude was absolute that the Lord’s anointed must be respected even though Saul had been rejected by God as king. Afterward, David was made king over the Israelites. David’s lament for Saul was a communal event. His heart was moved by the death of Jonathan. Saul’s other two sons are not even mentioned by name in his song (2 Samuel 1).

How then should we see leaders/elders in UBF?

It is interesting to note that the relationship between Saul and David has been made an example for loyalty. Saul pursued David more and more with intent to kill him. He did so with full knowledge of how people were comparing him against David. The people had fallen in love with David. Saul also knew already that his days were numbered as a king. Samuel had rebuked and warned Saul that his family would lose the kingdom and that the Lord had left him. Indeed sometimes it is possible for even our chapter directors, shepherds or even standby leaders to resemble Saul. Their pursuit in way of control and direction for our lives to satisfy their own interests is indeed a repeated abuse. Such abuses have variances according to where to continue studies of undergrad, masters, phd. It also affects who you marry and when. Where you live and work and how you distribute your money. The list goes on and on.

Is it possible to understand David’s loyalty to God as a loyalty to Saul? How do we see God’s servants in UBF? Are they anointed? Should we show the same praise, honour and respect as illustrated by David? Remembering Jesus’ command to love one another and also forgive our brother, can we also understand David’s actions toward Saul as he is right with God? Do we need to love and forgive our Bible teacher or another member of our church? How can such understanding affect our salvation?

The picture of crisis in UBF

Based on 2 Timothy 3:1-17, David Kim, the director of Korea UBF, presents the crisis facing UBF. David Kim agrees with Joe on this point: UBF is in a crisis. Here is the picture David Kim paints in his Shepherd-Missionary Seminar 2011 Closing Message, which he titled “Terrible Times and the Bible“.

“They don’t like the good. Even though they are alive, they are actually dead. When it comes to the last days, there will be more people like them and they will make their generation terrible. But these kinds of people are not only in the world. The verse, “having a form of godliness but denying its power,” says that these kinds of people are also inside the church. The fact that they have a form of godliness means they look like men of faith and spiritual leaders outwardly. But the fact that they deny the power of godliness means that they have no spiritual power and inward strength to follow and obey the truth, and faith that they confess with their mouth.

This is the picture of the crisis that our church community confronts today. Nowadays, people love themselves and money. They love pleasure more than God. The waves of sin flow into the church community and infect our souls. Being infected by sins due to the powerful work of Satan, we gradually lose faith in the truth and the power of godliness. Co-workers who were once great in their faith fall into the temptations of sin. Some become tempters to knock down the faith of others. Those who once stood firm on the gospel faith and were once a good influence for their faith are rather influenced by sin and the value system of the world. They envy worldly people and begin to follow them. Many are losing their identity as a royal priesthood and a holy nation.”

How to respond to this crisis?

David Kim presents two directions as his suggested response to this crisis.

1. “Have nothing to do with them”

“Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth; men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected (8). They are not the ones who serve God with sincere faith, but those who live hypocritical and superficial lives before people. Their folly will be clear to everyone. Paul clearly warns Timothy to turn away from them.”

2. “Continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of”

“Timothy learned the Scriptures and had faith in the truth of the Scriptures. “Continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of.” This is the word and spiritual direction that God gave to Timothy who was in trouble with serving the new generation.

I believe that this is also what God says to us. We are living in a world which changes rapidly. The circumstances in which we are living are totally different from those of the 1960s when UBF was founded and of the 1970s and 80s when our campus ministry flourished. We encounter difficulties and limits in serving the new generation who follow the popular trend of life infected with sin and go with the mainstream of sin. For this reason, we began to wonder if we should look for alternatives and changes different from what we had in the past. If there are better ways and alternatives to serve this generation, we should try to find them. From the 1990s, we made every effort to find better ways and alternatives to serve the rapidly changing generation. New programs were sought out. Some chapters tried to implement the spiritual movement, giving up raising disciples through one-to-one Bible study because it was so difficult. Other chapters tried to live a religious life without the burdens of sharing Daily Bread and writing testimonies. There were also some chapters that tried to attract the attention of the young through singspiration, rather than focusing on profound Bible studies or testimony training. However, we have not found alternatives better than one-to-one Bible study, Daily Bread, testimony writing, a life giving spirit with five loaves and two fish, a pioneering spirit, a community spirit, and a self-supporting spirit that we have had from the beginning of UBF history. Nobody can deny that those works are the best ways to raise disciples and missionaries who can preach the gospel.

If the spirit that worked in the UBF ministry for the past 50 years came from human efforts or ideas, we don’t need to continue in them. Those that come from human thoughts and ideas are limited and will change or disappear someday in the future. However, the spirit that worked in the UBF ministry for the past 50 years didn’t come from the ideas of Dr. Samuel Lee or Mother Barry. It was not a typical UBF spirit, but the eternal truth of God’s words. Living according to the teachings of Scriptures, a life-giving spirit, a humble mind, raising disciples, one-to-one Bible study, writing testimonies, and sending out lay missionaries are the truths we learned from the Bible. We learned and became convinced of the truth and obeyed the truth that God taught us, and God blessed us abundantly for the past 50 years. Therefore, we should continue in the truth that we learned and stand firmly on it. Those who do not continue in the truth will lose the power of godliness and will join the sinful trend of the world. But if we continue in the truth we learned and became convinced of, we will get the power of godliness. We will be able to challenge and serve the sinful generation with the power of godliness.”

Questions to ponder

Do you agree with Joe’s picture of crisis or David Kim’s picture?
How do David Kim’s thoughts make you feel about your friends who left UBF recently?
What is your opinion of the state of UBF ministry after 50 years?

Many will disagree with me. “Stop exaggerating,” they’ll say. “Don’t worry, have faith! Focus on the positive. Remember what God has done. Great things happened at the ISBC. Many people accepted Christ. If even one lost sheep repents, there is great rejoicing in heaven.”

But for those who are willing to look, the situation looks grim. One major piece of evidence is that the attendance at the recent ISBC dropped by about 20% from Purdue ’08. UBF leaders have always assumed that their numbers would go up. They believed that if they just worked hard enough and prayed enough times and kept going and stayed with the program, then God would bless their faithfulness and the ministry would grow. But this time, the numbers went down, and they did so dramatically.

I’ve heard various explanations for the drop in attendance, and I have offered a few of my own. It is a symptom of malaise and low morale. Over the last three years, many natives have left the ministry, and the conflicts that led to their departure have not been addressed. Attendance at conferences can no longer be considered mandatory; chapter directors have realized that the days when they could simply command people to come are over.

None of these trends will be reversed by hope or wishful thinking. Praying more and praying harder isn’t going to work. “Just believe” won’t do. Tweaking the organization (e.g., appointing some new committees) won’t fix the problem either. Without major structural change, the decline is going to continue. UBF is in a downward spiral, and there’s a long way to go before it bottoms out.

I predict that most leaders will ignore this evidence. They will try to stay upbeat and apply positive spin. Some will point the finger of blame at Brian, Ben, me, and other infamous heretics and villains. They won’t take a long, hard look at what actually happened and why.

But suppose they do decide to take it seriously. Suppose they are stunned and begin to ask with real sincerity, “Brothers and sisters, what shall we do?”

If that happens, what would you tell them? What do you think the leaders need to focus on as their highest priority? What would you say are the top three action items (1, 2 and 3)? And what activities should they put aside to focus on those items?

I’ve been thinking about that question for a while. In the remainder of this article, I will give my answer.

In terms of high-priority items, I won’t list a 1, 2 and 3. I think there is only one. I believe that from now on, all the daily, weekly, monthly, yearly activities that take place (e.g., the work of the ethics committee, preparing Bible study material, staff training, meetings and conferences and workshops and retreats, etc.) need to be aligned toward one main goal. If a particular activity supports this goal, then we should proceed with it. If the activity delays, hampers or detracts from this goal, we should put it aside indefinitely.

In my opinion, the goal should be this:

Everyone needs to work together to revise the story of UBF. People must help one another to set aside propaganda and freshly discern what has happened in the community, to understand what God has done thus far, what he is doing now, and what he may want to do in the future.

This is not something that leaders can do in secret by themselves. The process must involve everyone. Leaders will have to stop talking about their own ideas, close their mouths, open their ears, and listen to all the current and ex-members. They will have to create space for honest, open-ended and freewheeling discussion of everything, no holds barred — including the kind of discussion that takes place on UBFriends, which they hate so much. They will have to engage in ethnographic listening for an extended period of time. If they are not capable of that (and, I’m sorry to say, many of them aren’t) then they need to just get out of the way and allow younger and more capable people to do it.

Why are listening and storytelling so important? Because the crisis in UBF is ultimately not one of shrinking numbers, falling income, criticism on UBFriends, bad relations between Americans and Koreans, unchecked power and authoritarian abuse, etc. Those things are all present, of course, and they are serious and troubling. But at the end of the day, those are symptoms of something more fundamental. Those problems could be handled if UBF was healthy. The fact that those problems are not yet solvable demonstrates that the community doesn’t understand what it is. Leaders and members don’t have coherent, credible and compelling reasons for why the organization should exist or why it should do the things it does.

The present crisis is an identity crisis. There is a large and growing disconnect between the story that loyal members have repeatedly told themselves and the evidence that has been accumulating year by year. The old UBF narrative is no longer believed, except perhaps by a small group of people who live in bunkers and cling to their convictions no matter what.

The old UBF narrative goes something like this. (I wrote the following paragraph for another article last year.)

In the early 1960’s, God began a great work in South Korea. A young female American missionary left her missionary compound and lived among the poor. Together with a young Korean pastor, they taught the Bible to university students. Instead of relying on outside funds, the movement became independent and self-supporting. Students overcame their “beggar mentality” and sacrificed everything to support this work. In absolute obedience to Jesus’ world mission command, they went overseas to preach the gospel. God blessed all their sacrifice, hard work, simple faith, etc. and transformed Korea from a nation that receives outside help to a nation that sends missionaries throughout the world. Unlike other churches and movements, this group raises highly committed disciples who are extremely disciplined in Bible study and prayer. They marry by faith, support themselves on the mission field, excel in their studies and become leading doctors, engineers, diplomats and professors. Although they seem highly intelligent, their success is not due to their intelligence but to their self-denial, their boldness in proclaiming the gospel, their absolute obedience and their uncomplicated, childlike faith. Their unique disciplines (Daily Bread, testimony writing, obedience training, marriage by faith, etc.) and their pure, inductive approach to Bible study are extremely potent, and other churches could learn a great deal from them. As they faithfully continue in this special calling, God will use them to send thousands more missionaries and raise countless disciples on university campuses throughout the world. And this is going to transform the nations. For example, it will turn the United States from corruption to its former glory as a nation of people who trust in God. As disciples are raised and missionaries are sent out, each nation will become “a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.”

That story is told over and over in UBF publications, at conferences, in Bible studies and private conversations. It was a nice story, and at one time it may have been somewhat believable. But today, the story has been debunked. There is such a huge body of contradicting evidence that very few people (if any) still believe the story, even though in UBF settings they might speak and act as though they do. The younger generation certainly does not, because they have very sensitive B.S. detectors, and because the internet gives them instant access to all the counternarratives.

There is overwhelming evidence that Samuel Lee abused his authority, routinely crossing the boundaries of what a pastor ought to do. SL collected, managed and used ministry funds with no oversight, deciding entirely on his own how to use those funds. He exercised undue influence over the personal lives of UBF members. The most obvious example of this is that he decided whom you could marry and when, but there are many more examples, some of them quite nauseating. Often SL did not tell the truth. Many of the stories and accounts about people that he told through his announcements, manuscripts, newsletters, personal letters to people, etc. contained exaggeration, distortion and fabrication. The list of SL’s questionable practices is very long and damning. Many ubf members will testify that they were deeply loved by him, but many others will testify that they were severely hurt and damaged by him. To trumpet the former without acknowledging the latter is blatantly hypocritical. Older Koreans can tolerate this contradiction, because they have a penchant for honoring their elders. But younger people cannot stand it. Americans cannot stand it. Above everything else, the present generation craves authenticity. If UBF doesn’t stop its mythologizing about the character and actions of SL, if it doesn’t stop presenting a one-sided and distorted picture of its own history, the organization in North America has no future.

There is undeniable evidence that UBF is not impacting society as the leaders imagined it would. UBF’s trademark brand of rigorous, high commitment, high loyalty, obey-at-all-costs discipleship training (what you might call martial-arts Christianity, Green Beret-ism, Just Obey-ism…) is not sweeping the world — not because people haven’t seen it, but because they have seen it and have rejected it. Perhaps it could have limited success in certain non-western cultures, but in North America and Europe it just doesn’t work. Where it has been tried, the disciples it produces do not look like healthy, happy, well adjusted, thoughtful, kind, attractive or loving human beings. They act strange and sound weird; they lose sight of who they are and become imitators of the Koreans who lorded over them, lending credence to the allegations that UBF is a cult. The traditional UBF discipleship program ignores too many aspects of spiritual formation. It damages family life. It keeps people from developing meaningful relationships with people outside of UBF. It prevents people from experiencing the full range of freedom that they have in Christ. It replaces the creative work of the Holy Spirit with principles, rules, behaviors and expectations. In a nutshell, it is too legalistic. If UBF doesn’t stop mythologizing its training methods, the organization in North America has no future.

There is undeniable evidence that UBF’s Bible study materials and messages are not nearly as great or effective or inspiring as UBF’s leaders have believed. The material published by UBF Press is not of sufficient quality to be accepted by any reputable publishing house; if it were, there would be no need for UBF Press. The format, content, language and style of UBF’s materials are peculiar to the community, reflecting parochial UBF customs and values, with little or no appeal to anyone on the outside. The messages delivered at UBF conferences (except for The Well) are designed to please the elder missionaries. They reflect what the elder missionaries want to hear, and what the elder missionaries think the younger generation needs to hear, but they are not connecting with and capturing the imagination of Americans. UBF leaders are proud of how many hours they spend preparing Bible study materials and messages, but based on the results, it is obvious that this time is not well spent. If UBF doesn’t stop mythologizing its Bible study materials, the organization in North America has no future.

I could go on and on about how UBF has been unsuccessful at raising indigenous leaders, about stubborn missionaries who should have ceded control decades ago but are still running the show, about the rogue chapter directors who are mistreating people, and so on. But I’ll stop here.

My point is not to prove that UBF is terrible. My point is that UBF has very serious problems, problems that threaten its existence but which leaders have never been willing to face. They seem to think that acknowledging these problems is akin to giving up or losing their faith. Some would rather die than let go of their illusions about UBF. This has been, and still is, the single biggest obstacle to healthy change. Leaders and longtime members do not want to lose face. They don’t anyone or anything to mess with their precious story about who they are and what they have done.

But the bitter irony is that, as long as they hold on to this narrative, they will continue to lose face and lose credibility. That story of UBF is fading away. Indeed, it has already expired. We need to just let it die. We must allow that kernel of wheat to fall to the ground and disappear, so that it can give birth to something new and vital and fruitful.

Members of this generation do not want leaders who appear to be strong and perfect. We don’t care if people make mistakes, as long as they fess up to their mistakes and learn from them. We want leaders of integrity, genuine human beings who have realistic opinions of themselves, who are upfront and honest about their shortcomings and fiascos.

The challenge that UBF faces is this: How do we come to our collective senses, admit our failures, and own those failures? How do we weave those failures into the fabric of the UBF story to make it into a new story, one that is honest and credible and inspiring and gospel-centered? How do we incorporate the stories of all the people who have been hurt by UBF and left UBF over the years, not demonizing or marginalizing them, but validating their experiences and making them an integral part of our understanding of what God wants to do in the UBF community?

Here are some things that I believe. Please read these carefully.

1. I believe that God loves UBF people very much. He always has, and always will.

2. God’s love for UBF people is not rooted in anything they have done for him. God’s love for UBF people is rooted in what Jesus has done for them.

3. God has plans for UBF people. Those plans are great and glorious. But God will never force his plans on UBF. If UBF acts in foolish ways, then God will adapt and revise his plans as often as necessary to make something good happen, something that glorifies Jesus and blesses the Church and all nations of the world.

4. For a while, I believed that God’s plan coincided with the “old ubf narrative” that I wrote above. It’s conceivable that God was willing to make something like that happen (minus all the tribalism and Korean cultural imperialism and triumphalism), But that plan has been neutered and derailed. That story is too self-aggrandizing and unrealistic. It ain’t happening, folks.

5. If UBF stubbornly clings to its old narrative, in the same way that the people of Israel clung to their own tribalistic narrative, then the organization will experience epic failure. That failure may come sooner rather than later.

6. If there is an epic failure, God will still have a plan to use the organization. He might allow UBF to go down in history as a textbook example of
* how not to do evangelism
* how not to raise disciples and train leaders
* how not to attempt cross-cultural ministry
* how not to study the Bible
* how not to interact with the Body of Christ
and so on. The epic failure of UBF may help other Christians to avoid our mistakes. It may bring mission-minded evangelicals to a new and deeper understanding of what the gospel is, and what the gospel is not.

7. If UBF lets go of its old narrative, allowing that story fall to the ground and die, then it may yet experience a resurrection. That death will be very painful to some, but ultimately it will bring new life.

8. If UBF experiences a rebirth, the story of New-BF may become a textbook example of
* how to listen to one’s critics and truly *hear* what they are saying
* how to apologize to people that you have hurt and reconcile with them
* how to corporately repent and join the rest of the Body of Christ
* how to build a loving church that ethnically diverse and truly multigenerational
* how to build a loving church that is theologically diverse, maintaining a foundation of orthodoxy while fully embracing people with different views on sacraments, miracles, gifts of the Spirit, inerrancy of Scripture, ..

9. The most likely scenario for what lies ahead is not a complete epic failure or a complete rebirth, but some mixture of the two. There will be mysteries and surprises.

10. If UBF and its leaders are slow to act, there will be many more people who, for valid reasons, cannot and should not hang around to wait for change. God will call them to go elsewhere. That has happened again and again. Many of the people who have left UBF over the years (in many cases, they were driven out) were the most gifted and qualified to lead the ministry. How many times have missionaries prayed for God to send them disciples who would become their ancestors of faith, their “Abraham” and “Sarah”? I believe that every single one of those prayers has been answered. I believe that God has sent countless Abrahams and Sarahs to all those UBF chapters across America. And the vast majority of those Abrahams and Sarahs were driven away by lack of love, bad ministry practices, and because those disciples would not or could not adapt to their shepherds’ ethnocentric expectations.

First, the final authority of UBF resides in the Scripture.

We confess that the final authority of UBF is the Word of God presented in the Old Testament and the New Testament. In UBF, what people fear most or are most conscious of is one man’s approval, namely that of Samuel Lee. Our joy and peace frequently depend upon his word. But people hardly display such intense fear of the Word of God, even when our actions visibly violated it. This alone shows that the final authority of UBF is clearly in the hand of a mere man, fallible, sinful as any others, and fundamentally mortal. Whatever this one person has done or said, good or bad, usually becomes an unspoken rule for and measure of all things. But we firmly believe that man’s authority or UBF’s traditions should never supercede the Word of God. The Scripture alone should be the absolute and final authority in ministry as well as in our life of faith.

Second, the gospel of grace is the interpretive key to the Scripture.

The gospel of Jesus Christ displayed through his death and resurrection is the Scripture within the Scripture. It is and should be the hermeneutical (interpretive) key to the Scripture and the guide to our practical life of faith. The original theological understanding of UBF that held grace and mission in harmony based upon Romans 1:5, has gradually given its way to a different theological reasoning. As the ambition of UBF became more business-oriented, the concept of “mission” emerged as primary, making grace a preparatory step toward the supremacy of “mission.”

Accordingly, UBF’s dominant hermeneutic was shifted from grace that compels believers to “mission and obedience.” (We do not mean superficial lip service given to grace. We are speaking of what is actually going on in the ministry and life of UBF. Practical life plainly shows that the dominant interpretive key to the Bible is “mission and obedience.” It is an unfortunate reductionism. It presents the Word of God as though it were only mission and obedience. There are many more mysteries that cannot be understood by this kind of approach. One good example is that in UBF, the Pauline epistles are hardly studied. The reason is obvious. People are already set with one kind of hermeneutics, that is, that of “mission and obedience.” So, they do not understand Paul’s tenacious emphasis upon the grace of Jesus Christ. So, it is not surprising that UBF has its own favorite texts that are used over and over. Due to its narrow hermeneutics, their biblical understanding is fundamentally selective. Their understanding of Christian life is like tunnel vision. It ends up seeing what it wants to see.) It is a well-known maxim in UBF that a person must be born thrice: first, physically; second, spiritually; third, in mission. This sort of biblical interpretation has well served the organization’s aim of increasing its membership and visibility.

Nevertheless, this kind of biblical hermeneutics caused a series of unforeseen problems that gradually perverted people’s understanding of the gospel and ministry. These ideas — mission and obedience — have reduced the gospel of Jesus Christ and his grace into “law and work” again. In UBF, one’s worth depends mainly upon how well one is able to “feed sheep.” (Or when one is not so successful in feeding sheep, one can find one’s place and position by making a good amount of offering. This is generally what Korean missionaries experience, although American students or leaders receive somewhat different treatment from the leadership of UBF.) Yet, it is not how well one feeds sheep, but salvation comes through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ that gives human dignity and worth to all believers. (We are new creations, new people who will inherit the kingdom of God. Not only so, the great salvation has begun in us, waiting for its completion. Jesus does command us to go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation and to feed his sheep. Nevertheless, all these commands are not given as the condition that Jesus will love us only when we succeed in feeding his sheep.) By reducing the gospel to “mission and obedience,” UBF unwittingly has undone what Christ did on the cross. Even if a particular idea, such as “mission and obedience,” is useful for a church, it becomes, without exception, harmful if it takes the place of the gospel of grace.

Therefore, we maintain that the central key to the Scripture and Christian life is the gospel of grace. Even the Great Commission cannot be thought of apart from the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is the dynamic efficacy of the grace of Jesus Christ that compels us to mission and obedience. We must return to the eternal foundation of the gospel that Christ through his death and resurrection laid.

Third, all human beings are sinners and Jesus Christ alone is our Savior and Lord.

The Scripture declares unequivocally that all human beings are without exception sinners. This means, first of all, that human beings are fundamentally in hostility with God (before our salvation). This also implies that as a human being each of us has an inherent “dark side” which so easily corrupts everything good, noble and worthy in them. This biblical view must be taken with all seriousness as the fundamental understanding of human beings for believers. Ironically, no Christian organization would talk so much about sin as UBF. Our testimony sharing or life testimony is mostly about sin and salvation, after which everyone wants to be a man or woman of mission.

Yet, sin understood in UBF testimony generally refers to moral failings or, in larger part, disobedience to a shepherd (especially to Samuel Lee). This kind of superficial understanding of sin does not take into account the dark side of human nature that lurks in everyone’s heart, even in a born-again Christian, since our redemption is not yet completed.

But in UBF, such a quintessential knowledge is suppressed in its attitude toward its supreme leader, because he virtually occupies the place of God since he is to be “absolutely obeyed.” (We are well aware that some might feel uncomfortable with such an assessment. This may sound too harsh. Yet, it must be carefully noted that when human beings offer their absolute obedience and loyalty to something or someone, this comprises a religious act (Rom 6:12-23). They consciously or unconsciously regard that object of their obedience as divine or nearly divine. The title that is so erratically and arbitrarily used in UBF is “the servant of God.” This title implies immediately obedience to that person. The business of absolute obedience belongs to the Creator, who alone deserves creation’s unswerving absolute obedience.)

This kind of atmosphere provides a fertile ground for abuse of power by those in el supremo. Even when he sins, often ridiculously lofty theological reasons are attributed to his failings, because people have already made this person a mythic figure. They can no longer look at his true identity as a human being with darkness and all kinds of shortcomings but they look at him with misty eyes that are blurred by their own myth-tinted glasses. Such habits are surreptitiously promoted by the supreme leader himself and by his cronies around him. Mythologizing a sinful human being only blinds people to the reality of human nature and drives them further away from the light of the biblical truth about human beings.

Therefore, we strongly denounce such a practice that blinds people to the true understanding about human nature that the biblical truth teaches us. Too much abuse of power has hurt many people of great integrity, purity and honesty. Many who have devoted their entire youth because of their love for the work of the Spirit have left because of such foolish and ignorant practices of exalting and mythologizing one man beyond what he really is. So, based upon this biblical truth about humanity, we resolutely affirm that every human society, political, military or religious, needs to have a system of checks and balances and of accountability.

We Christians already have one Lord who has absolute authority over us, the one who died for our sins and rose from the dead, thus proving that he is the Lord of lords. He alone is our Judge, who has already justified us. Jesus Christ alone has the final say. It is ultimately his word, not human approval, that matters in the end. Any word or act of a human being must be measured and checked according to the word of this Lord. We confess therefore that our consciences are bound only to this Lord alone and to no one else.

Fourth, the founder of UBF is the Holy Spirit and He is also the one who nourishes and preserves it.

The Bible matter-of-factly tells that the birth of a church is the work of the Holy Spirit. Only the Holy Spirit can work wonders of bringing various kinds of people together in the name of Jesus Christ and create a church. So-called human founders are in reality merely the instruments of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, the founder of UBF is the Holy Spirit. Also, the historical fact that the birth of Korean UBF coincides with the outburst of various student movements and denominations originated by the Spirit during the 1950s and 1960s supports our claim that the Holy Spirit is the founder of UBF.

What made UBF what it is today is largely the dedication of numerous brothers and sisters who have selflessly sacrificed their time, material and family life for its well-being. It is preposterous to insist that UBF is one person’s work or his business. All credit therefore should be given to the Holy Spirit and to those who in obedience to the Holy Spirit’s guidance have boldly carried out mission in campuses and in foreign countries without receiving much recognition. The credit also should be given to those who have lost their lives in the middle of their missionary lives.

But the supreme leader of UBF has a self-conceited illusion that the birth of UBF was the work of a handful of human beings, especially himself. Owing to such a flawed view, he has often blatantly said that UBF is his. That kind of ignorance and misconception is visibly evident in his effort to hand the organization to his son. We absolutely reject such a claim about UBF. The rightful owner of UBF is the Holy Spirit rather than one person. It belongs to many people whose lives have made the organization as it is today. The ownership of UBF must be returned to its rightful owner(s).

We likewise believe that it is the Holy Spirit that nourishes and preserves UBF. The UBF supreme leadership thinks that it is his outstanding leadership skill that has nourished and preserved UBF thus far. The truth is that even his leadership was provided and sustained by the Spirit. Another aspect he has forgotten about is that not infrequently his own failings and mistakes drove UBF to unnecessary crises that threatened its validity and existence. (He thinks that all the attacks he received over the years are because he exclusively preached the gospel. But that argument is far from the truth. Many of these attacks came because of his various corrupt practices, his very suspicious use of offerings, the habit of bribery, physical violence, the habit of blaming the underlings for his own mistakes, and the like. Because of his unnecessary egotistic stubbornness, we are often labeled as a “cult,” thus making our future grim. It must be noted that we are not afraid at all to die for the Lord and we are confident that if we are attacked and falsely accused it is because we indeed preached the gospel with a clean conscience. That is why we have given up everything and come to this land. Do not say that we try to avoid suffering for the gospel. But we feel stupid and dumb when we know we suffer because of our own stupidity and arrogance.) But the Spirit, despite his failures and shortcomings, has kept and preserved UBF and made it grow better through adversities.

Fifth, UBF is a member of the body of Christ, that is, the Universal Church, whose head is Jesus Christ our Lord.

The Church, namely the body of Christ, has unity in that all the members belong to the one head. Just as a member, such as a hand or a foot, cannot live when it is severed from the rest of the body, UBF, when cut off from the rest of the body, cannot be a healthy and living organization. UBF has been as though it were all hand or all foot, because it has failed to recognize the needs to be united with other members of the body. Behind such an exclusive attitude lies the egotism of one person, whose upbringing has shaped him into a paranoid, compulsive and self-conceited person. His unhealthy personality has strongly shaped the character and ethos of UBF. That is why often excessive and unfounded elitism and “green-beret-ism” characterizes UBF. Such attitude is an organizational pride detrimental for the unity of the body of Christ. We believe that recognizing ourselves humbly and joyfully as part of the body of Christ prevents us from spreading the poison of such organizational and spiritual pride, which works deadly influence upon the body of Christ everywhere. (Various Christian groups are characterized by this kind of exclusive attitude. They usually cause division in the body of Christ. UBF also has committed this sin of exclusivism. Saying blatantly that Billy Graham is nothing, but he (Samuel Lee) is the one who changed American history (at the UBF USA staff meeting, Sept. 2000 in Chicago) shows how far this kind of exclusivism has distorted his view of himself and UBF. It has reached the dangerous point of self-delusion both personally and institutionally. Earlier, he resented that Rev. Han received The Templeton Award, because he believes that he was greater than Rev. Han and he should have gotten the award. He as well as UBF has become a silly little frog in a little pond, who thinks that little pond is the whole world.) After all, the church is a small community in a vast unbelieving world. We need each other and must learn to work with others to serve our Lord in the world.

Sixth, the Holy Spirit has endowed particular gifts to UBF that characterize it from others, namely campus ministry, one-on-one Bible study, disciple-making, and world mission.

UBF in general has been given by the Holy Spirit the gifts of campus ministry, one-on-one Bible study, disciple-making and world mission. These common traits, while binding all UBF chapters together, gave particular characteristics to UBF, which distinguish it from other organizations.

As the place of the Holy Spirit was gradually reduced to an insignificant one in the theology of UBF, these gifts, divorced from the Spirit, turned into business agendas and objectives of UBF. They no longer were understood as “gifts” but institutional methodologies, by which UBF would carry on its business. Further, they became the very elements by which UBF began to identify itself.

Initially, it seemed very smart to make such a move. But the fallout of such a move became all too clear over the years. It produced suffocating uniformity that stifled the quality growth of UBF. Satisfied with the initial success, the supreme leader further reinforced this uniformity by trying to mold, in the name of training, everyone’s thoughts, worldview, values and to a large measure, the character just like his. For this goal, he ordered every staff to copy his message and deliver it every week. He also made everyone in UBF write a testimony on the basis of his message every week. Consequently, everyone was gradually conditioned and molded to look at the world and faith through this one man’s eyes. His way was the way. (This was done in the pretext that without Newton there is no Einstein. The sad reality is that when everyone is talking about the theory of relativity, UBF staffs are still trying to understand Newton’s gravity. Without Newton we have Bill Gates.) Uniformity became the gospel of UBF. And UBF became an intellectually dull and weary place. (We can tell you we did not and do not look forward to our staff meetings. We would rather get stuck in the airplane for its cancellation or delay or on the freeway because of snowstorm. We hated to go to these meaningless gatherings.)

We believe that “true unity” need not be uniformity. Further, it needs to be clarified that in an absolute sense these gifts, campus ministry, one-on-one Bible study, and world mission, do not truly comprise the fundamental identity of UBF. Ultimately, these things are yet earthly and temporal. These things give a temporary identity of our group that the Spirit created for in this generation. (Earlier, when our el supremo was led by the Spirit and was not spiritually petrified, he often said that UBF would serve the purpose of God for our generation. He even said that if it was God’s will it was fine with him, even if UBF was to disappear. I do not know where such confidence in the Spirit has gone and now he is clinging to these things as though they were the only true gospel. He is sadly self-conceited.) Our confidence and hope at present moment is that the Spirit will continue to preserve UBF, as it has been. As long as the Spirit leads us through these gifts, we will obey him wholeheartedly and carry these out with conviction and dedication. Nevertheless, we do not and will not make the mistake of making these gifts something “absolute,” the mistake that has turned the gospel into work and the living gifts into uniform business objectives. Our faithfulness and commitment is with the Holy Spirit, whose guidance alone is absolute. Wherever the Spirit of Christ leads us, we will faithfully be there with all our hearts. We affirm that only with the Spirit, our future is wide open.

Seventh, the Holy Spirit has distributed various gifts within each UBF chapter among its members, so as to mold it into a community filled with fruits of the Spirit.

As the Holy Spirit establishes a church, he gives various gifts to its individual members, so that they can serve the body of Christ. The ultimate goal of distributing various gifts is to create the Christian community, the community that is filled with the fruits of the Spirit. Christian churches that reveal these fruits will most convincingly bear witness to its Lord Jesus Christ.

When UBF reduced the gifts of the Spirit to simple uniformity, the community became fundamentally a mission institution. The ultimate goal became to stimulate people’s productivity, namely to bring more people. The best way to achieve this objective was to make its members compete with each other. Competition to bring more “sheep” became the very driving force of UBF to success. Members competed among themselves; a group against another; a chapter against another; a region against another.

In the process, UBF lost its true Christian substance. It was Christian only in name and appearance, but its inner self was no different from a secular business firm. (A lay graduate fellowship member who later became a full-time staff member, due to the blessing of the Spirit upon his ministry, confessed he was shocked at the rampant jealousy and competitiveness among the staff members when he attended their meetings. Having experienced how secular work places function, he told some of the staff members that their gatherings were worse than those of secular business firms.) It was number, number, number, that counted most. It was so with almost every UBF chapter. (In order to lessen the pressure and stress that came from this competition, the supreme leader skillfully uses music, drama, and other things. But what could these artificial entertainment do when the fruits of the Spirit were taken away or placed in the backseat of the ministry?) Therefore, we sincerely advise each UBF chapter to relinquish the competition-oriented practice that has been manipulated for too long by one man but promote a Christian community that truly and genuinely reflects the image of Jesus Christ our Lord.

UBF must bring the theology of the Holy Spirit to the fore and recognize his sovereignty and his many gifts with which he equips the body of Christ. There are many gifts that are more important and precious than campus ministry, one-on-one Bible study, disciple-making, and world mission, though they may not seem so useful or practical for success. (We mean the gifts that truly hold the inner self of a community, such as virtue, compassion, helping the poor, ability to reconcile, making the atmosphere positive and bright, administrative ability, and the like, the gifts the Bible regards highly.)

Lest someone should falsely accuse us of promoting tongue speaking, which in our time causes so many painful divisions in the church, let us make it clear. We confess and uphold that whatever gifts the Bible speaks of should not be prohibited, but they should be carefully examined and utilized according to the biblical norms. No one gift, supernatural or natural, should be overly emphasized over the rest. All must be treated with equal respect and care, because they are, after all, gifts from God, not the product of our own making.

Eighth, UBF is a Christian community both in relation to and radically set apart from the world. This two-fold, paradoxical relationship must be carefully and faithfully maintained, so that we may be in the world but not of it.

The church is born not out of the world but in the middle of it. So, it is the church’s ongoing struggle to keep the delicate balance to the world and yet to radically separate from it. UBF started out, like many influential Christian organizations throughout history, with its strong emphasis upon the radical separation from the world. It rightly found the radical teachings of the gospel that commanded to give up personal comfort, worldly desires, love for money, and so on. Such a radical obedience to the gospel laid a firm foundation for the practical life and ethic of UBF. Even now, many young men and women courageously choose such a radical obedience to the gospel.

Nevertheless, UBF has failed to establish a proper relation to the world. The early church related itself to the surrounding world by showing the compassion of God for the poor, the helpless and the needy. But UBF leadership, now driven mostly by business sense, has failed to teach them how to relate to the world as Christians. As a result, even when people around us experience all kinds of suffering, we did not care for them as long as we found student “sheep” and UBF kept growing. (Such attitude is often seen among some missionaries overseas, who can scarcely find jobs. With the justification that these missionaries need living faith, they are simply left alone without any financial relief. Don’t we have the responsibility to help them become established financially in those lands where they are aliens and have no job opportunities? Do they not have enough difficulties by which they can learn living faith?) In a sense, we have become a callous and heartless organization that only cares about its own business.

The underlying philosophy of the supreme leader whose idea pervades in every aspect of UBF’s theology and practice is founded upon capitalism. To him, UBF ministry is a business venture for Christ. He transformed Jesus, who told the rich young man to sell everything, give it to the poor and follow him, into a greedy and money-collecting capitalist. (Is this the same Jesus who called Levi the tax collector out of collecting money into his savings to serving people?) He collects tithes from every chapter in the U.S. We also know that from other continents, even from the African continent, he collects tithes. A small chapter often sends the entire offering to Chicago. We did not know that the Jesus of UBF was so concerned about his organization’s income growth and was so happy that he now has several million dollars in savings. Perhaps this Jesus would love to have his image printed upon the green paper. Chicago UBF is like the Dead Sea. Everything goes in but nothing comes out. (Having seen the way money has been used, we now believe that it is not even his pure desire to indeed do good business for Christ but rather it is his love of money and his addiction to it. Although he claims to receive only moderate salary, the reality is that he is the only one who has access to the treasury. There have been demands to make public how the past offerings have been used, but he has totally ignored such demands. There are too many suspicions about how he deals with money. He is more concerned about IRS [the US tax agency] than with the saints’ approval. But isn’t the approval of the saints much more important in God’s sight than that of IRS? Wouldn’t the approval of the former represent that of God closely, since they are children of God? Most of all, what does collecting money from all over the world have to do with the radical calling of the gospel? Does Jesus ever call UBF to collect a huge sum of money? Doesn’t his command to the rich young man apply to UBF, too? Just because it is an organization, it does not have to listen to such a call?)

The leader’s suspicious behavior about money contradicts the radical call of the gospel that many people have faithfully obeyed. After many years of observation about his dealing with money, our conclusion is that he simply loves money.

Therefore, we call for the legitimate audit of all the accounts of offerings received all these years. Non-profit organization status should not be the covering for misuse of the precious offerings. We want an honest bookkeeping and annual report of how much came in and how it is used. Rather than heartless capitalism at the center of UBF, we want the compassion of God to be the guide. A considerable part of the money should be used to lessen the sufferings of the people, including some of the missionaries who have no way to find jobs in foreign countries. The radical nature of the gospel should be the controlling principle of UBF material life instead of capitalism. If not, we will be hypocrites who, while crying out for obedience to the gospel, practice money-loving capitalism.

Ninth, the basic structure of a church consists of worship, education, mission and help for the poor.

This is the basic structure of a church. Achieving health of a church depends upon how firmly these things are in place and how well they are practiced. But UBF’s main emphasis has been mission. Its effort for education has been one-sided for so long. And it has not had any significant theology for either worship or helping the poor. As a result, UBF has become a deformed body, which is passionate on mission and yet without mercy for the poor. We need to restore these four basic pillars for the spiritual health of UBF.

Worship: The Holy Spirit created the body of Christ, ultimately for the glory of God as it exalts and worships God for what God has done in Christ. But UBF’s worship service is the occasion for measuring one’s success every week by counting the number of attendants, because all the chapters have to report it to the headquarters. Worship is a time for everyone to give glory to God and Christ for the grace he has bestowed upon us and receive blessings through it. We must return to the basic aim of worship. Worship should become a joyful, free, and meaningful occasion where we meet our gracious God.

Education: So far, one man’s messages have shaped and even conditioned many people’s view about life and faith, view, ethics and so on. This view has been too narrow for UBF staffs and members to encounter the changing Korean ethos let alone the world. Now it is time for UBF to break out of the confinement of this monochromatic view and to spread out its wings and grow in depth and height and length and width. For this reason, it is imperative for staffs to receive theological education and go through a serious theological paradigm shift to face the future better prepared. It is also necessary to raise well-educated theologians, biblical scholars, historians, counselors, and the like, who can make worldwide contributions to the church of Christ. (Doesn’t anyone notice that those who left UBF have become respected and useful leaders in the Christian churches with better education? Why can’t we have such people? Why do they have to leave us to be such people?) We denounce some people’s efforts to get titles from shadowy institutions without actually earning the diploma. We must abandon this kind of dishonorable approach. Why not let some capable people receive good education from legitimate institutions? What kind of life philosophy does this kind of attitude teach to those who follow us? While we teach them to go the way of truth and the way of the cross, we find the lowest and laughable means to get a title. Why?

Lay members also must have opportunities to receive better spiritual nurturing. Unless these people are enlightened, the leaders will have too many opportunities to do wrong things without being criticized. But when they are properly enlightened, leaders will be helped because these people will keep the system of checks and balances in place. (Such an attitude has caused so many wrongs to be covered up and untreated. Not hurting sheep may come from good intention of loving them, but it proves to be a fatal mistake not to let the sheep know about the existing problems, because our good intentions prevented them from being enlightened. What kind of people will these sheep become? They think that there is no problem in UBF and their shepherds are like angels. We simply make them stupid rather than enlighten them. This will not do.)

Mission: We have sent 1,500 missionaries overseas. Yet, we recognize that most of them find it difficult to adjust to different cultures, customs, intellectual environment and so on. We need to think about how to effectively help these missionaries to adjust themselves there and be part of the society. Also, it is necessary for some of them to attend local seminaries to understand the spiritual climate of the society to be better equipped for mission work. We must have some missionaries who excel in their surroundings and leave a lasting spiritual legacy in their respective mission fields.

Furthermore, we need to help these missionaries to be able to think and analyze the culture, society, custom and traditions of the nations they went to. In this way, they can inform those who are at home of their mission in better ways than simply sharing our traditional mission report about how many sheep and how they struggled with them, although these things can be reported in a proper context.

Helping the poor: Helping and caring for the poor is the passion and compassion of God. It is how we relate ourselves to the unbelieving world, looking at those who are in need with the mercy and compassion of God. But due to our philosophy of mission as everything we have failed to exhibit God’s compassion to the world. After all, it is because God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son. Surely, helping the poor does not bring us tangible return. But do we always need to have some kind of return for every work we do? Have we become such calculating capitalists? Helping the poor is in a sense like a burnt offering. It is offered purely to God and it is gone to ashes. There is no return. But that is central to the sacrifices that please God most. Just as our tithing keeps us from becoming materially-oriented people, so does giving to the poor prevents our institutions from becoming materially obsessed, as UBF is at present. In this way, we can function as the salt and light of the world.

In conclusion, we want UBF to be reformed in tune with the gospel truth. We do not do so lightheartedly or in mere rebellion or for the sake of some kind of personal gain. We sincerely advocate reform but we do so because UBF’s basic theology and practice have gone astray from the gospel of grace. As we stated earlier, mission and obedience are two of the most significant biblical truths. Nevertheless, no matter how excellent or good these are, when they are treated as though they are everything there is about the gospel, these become a hindrance to the great truth of the gospel. The same attitude stands true with people. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a profound truth, too profound for any human intentions, no matter how good, to fathom it all, too deep for one man’s insight to reach to its depth. One man-centered system must go. Also, we want to suspend competition-oriented community life and build the community of love intended by the Spirit. We want to restore the joy and freedom of the gospel, as we passionately carry out mission to campuses and to the world. We want to give our whole and undivided loyalty to God not to erratic, deceitful and mortal people.

Our reform is about the hope, dream and vision for the future. We want to dare to dream these dreams again, because we know for certain that it is possible to achieve them. What is more, yes, we have been there, when the Spirit first gave birth to us. We are sure that the Spirit will not repeat exactly the same thing that took place earlier during the revival. History does not really repeat itself, but each event is unique by itself. We are sure of what the Spirit can do. He can create a new future, freeing us from all these human abuses, corruption and falsehood. He can give us new vision. That is what our reform is all about. For this reason, we have concluded that UBF needs to change, and especially its supreme leader needs to change and practice transparency and honesty about materials and power.

(source)

Bound for life

The ubf culture encourages shepherds to become your new parents. They view young college students as their children. They intend to be bound for life. This is seen by the shepherds as more binding than mother/daughter, brother/sister or husband/wife. Your shepherd/sheep relationship is seen to be most binding.

Intense pursuit

The culture in ubf pushes shepherds to unceasingly pursue any young person who shows any kind of interest in ubf. When I was a ubf shepherd, I always longed for “the one”. I wanted to find the one student who would validate my efforts, the one student who would prove out the ubf heritage, the one student who would save me from all the rebukes for not having a disciple of my own.

Personal trainer

The shepherds in ubf are tasked with a primary purpose: train the “sheep” under you. The shepherds face a lot of pressure to control what behavior their “sheep” do. If your “sheep” strays and fails, the shepherd is in more trouble than the “sheep”. The shepherd is trained to be a trainer. The shepherd is held responsible for the moral improvement and outward conformance to the ubf heritage.

Is this what you want?
Is a personal. lifelong trainer justified?
Is there any biblical support for such a role?
Did Jesus intend His followers to be this kind of shepherd?

Why do UBF members often feel so burdened?

I have been examining my time in ubf for several years now, including time while I was a ubf Director. I have identified 8 layers of burden that are stacked onto you in ubf as the years go by. These burdens add up. The picture to the right is my visualization of the layers. My recovery from the ubf system has taken me through each of these layers. I had to navigate my way through each layer without losing my faith in Jesus and my hope in God.

What does UBF look like for a member?

When you are on the bottom of the stack, looking up, you first see your own personal challenges. You do this because the ubf system is an “incurvatus in se” set of beliefs and practices. Your problems are always in front of you weekly and daily. You may sense the other layers and you certainly feel their weight, but you never quite see them clearly. Note that the Confucian values layer is hidden from sight.

Why do some observers see a Korean Christian organization?

From the outside however, looking in, people typically see just some combination of Evangelical Christianity, Bible study and Korean culture. They can’t usually see the other layers, but often can sense the layers are there. It is easy then to attribute any “oddities” in ubf as part of the Korean culture. Korean culture might seem to be a major influence but in reality it is just a thin layer. The thick layers of ubf behavior and ideology are hidden from view until one digs deeper.

Thoughts, questions, reactions?

This article is intentionally brief. Thinking through these things has helped my recovery immensely. I am now set free through the grace of Jesus found at the cross and the living hope found at the empty tomb. The burden is gone. The gospel Jesus preached has liberated me from this system. I would love to hear your honest thoughts and questions.

I am glad we were not required to pray 2 X 2 at every meeting. It is OK a few times.  I appreciate the group prayer.

Would I go again? Definitely.

There were some areas that need improvement. The messengers have to stay away from the old format that is repeated again and again.  We can not have the same sounding messages for decades. We need to abandon the “My wife is so beautiful!” phrase. Let people be themselves and greet the crowd as they would normally greet the crowd.

Several people, from different parts of the world repented of the same things, “an easy going life style.” When I heard the phrase I immediately thought of 1980’s UBF conferences. It is obviously a phrase introduced by the missionaries. I am not so sure that God wants us to live in constant state of mental and physical engagement anyways. In a few instances, those who had 10-20 1:1 Bible studies a week were praised. Teaching the Bible is good, but what about stopping to read a book or simply spending time with people with no agenda? Just being in a constant state of self denial is not the answer. It may be contributing to some peoples’ tunnel vision.

There was a need for more coffee. It was always out. I wish I knew there was a McDonald’s a ½ block away at the beginning of the conference.

The cost is prohibitive to some. A family, with several kids, may pay over $1,500 USD for the weekend. This includes travel expenses also. Not too many people can do this. It can only be done by someone who truly values the conference.

There was obviously a lack of young Americans who are converts to the faith. There were middle aged missionaries and shepherds and second generation children and missionary kids. Some people may say, “Well that is because people are not ‘feeding sheep’” or “That is because America is not sending out missionaries.” But it could be more than that. We need to discover why and respond in the right way.

There were opportunities for people to be short term missionaries. This is great. I wonder why people are not so excited about being short term missionaries in UBF and they are very excited to be short term missionaries in other ministries? Maybe it has to do with what happens when people go the mission field.  Is the work of the Holy Spirit allowed to blossom and flourish when they go? Is there too much focus on supporting another’s agenda?

There seemed to be a growing divide among the Koreans and the Americans. Missionaries need to become like the people in their mission field and not make the “Natives of the land” like them. Missionaries need to let Americans be American. They also need to respect American Christians and live incarnational lives among the Americans.  They need to stop thinking that Americans don’t “feed sheep” or “go out as missionaries.” They need to stop the divide from growing or they will become more irrelevant in the American context.  Maybe the older leaders need to step aside quicker and resist controlling things from the shadows.

There needs to be a decision on what this International conference is for. Is it for the missionaries? Is it for new converts? Is it for the college level shepherds? It seems to be a little something for everyone. That is OK. Should we get more specific on who we are trying to reach?

Please cause trouble!

Does the Pope’s exhortation ring true for UBF??? Sometimes I wonder if UBF is more interested in primarily catering to our missionaries and coddling our older UBF leaders, or are we truly focused on winning indigenous people to Christ and truly empowering them (rather than trying to control them, such as by giving them years of “message training,” which has sadly distorted the natural way that they would normally speak in their own native tongue).

Destabilizing the status quo. The church has attracted leaders of the worst kind: megalomanics, bullies and leaders who do not know how to form healthy relationships with their own members (sheep). Such leaders are toxic. They break bruised reeds (Mt 12:20; Isa 42:3) and wound others without apology, while claiming that they are shepherding them. But the church also attracts rebels for Christ’s cause. These latter kinds of people–the trouble makers–are the difference makers whom the Pope seem to be speaking to, for only trouble-makers destabilize the unhealthy status quo.

What might the lifestyle and character of a healthy spiritual trouble-maker look like? As I read this list, I wondered if any senior UBF leader has encouraged any of this among UBF people?

• Trouble-makers own their own spiritual growth, and do not rely on their church to be the primary place of spiritual formation in their lives.
• Trouble-makers do not wait to be asked by a pastor to use their spiritual gifts for the benefit of others in the Church. They aren’t especially concerned that the graces God gave them to give others may or may not fit on that congregational org chart on a wall in a church leader’s office. They do their level best to respect their leaders’ structures and authority, but they refuse to stop thinking for themselves or silencing the leading of the Holy Spirit.
• Trouble-makers are willing to ask and answer hard questions.
• Trouble-makers may not always have perfect manners, but are motivated by love. Love keeps trouble-makers from becoming full-on jerks.
• Trouble-makers recognize that Jesus is not calling them to form self-protective, cozy cliques.
• Trouble-makers worship God, recognizing that adoration is the ultimate act of disruption.
• Trouble-makers ask the Holy Spirit to test their motives. They understand if they have a sense of entitlement or a rush toward self-justification about an issue, they’ve probably veered off course somewhere.
• Trouble-makers understand that transformation – their own and the Bride to whom they belong – always requires more courage than they currently possess. Dependence on God fuels their willingness to disrupt the stale status quo.

Isn’t it beautiful that “adoration is the ultimate act of disruption”? Based on these characteristics, I am prompted to ask some hard questions:

• Does senior UBF leaders welcome trouble-makers, or do they try to silence them?
• Does UBF encourage initiative or do they create a spirit of dependency on UBF?
• Does UBF encourage critical thinking or expect unquestioning submission?
• Do UBF leaders encourage asking hard questions, or to defer to them for answers?
• Are some top UBF leaders too comfortable with their own positions of power and leadership, which they have held for decades and counting?
• Are they in a self-protective oligarchy that seems determined to preserve the status quo?

• Or are they willing to truly entrust authority to indigenous leaders different from them and trust the Holy Spirit (Jn 3:8)?

Have all trouble-makers left UBF (or were forced out)? Is anyone left in UBF who is willing to boldly be a trouble-maker to disrupt the stale status quo? Is leaving UBF the most appealing option for trouble-makers? Do you agree with the Pope that we should make trouble?

My firm conviction is that any preacher or messenger is most helped when they are honestly told how well or poorly they did. If a preacher does not wish to listen to any unfavorable critique of their preaching, then they will not improve as a preacher, even after decades of preaching. (Saying, “You gave a wonderful message helps no one.”)

My opinion of those who preached and gave their life testimonies at the 2013 ISBC is that they are genuine Christians and lovely people. They willingly sacrificed so much of their life, their time and their family in order to receive countless hours of message training over several months. This fact alone speaks volumes about them. They are surely very humble people in that they willingly allowed themselves to speak WHAT others ultimately wanted them to speak, as well as to some degree speak HOW others wanted them to speak, gesture and perform.

I love UBF people as my brothers and sisters. But a big reason I did not attend the conference is the suboptimal quality of our UBF messages and sermons. The spoken word is the primary instrument that the Spirit uses to transform hearts and lives (Jn 6:63; 1 Cor 2:13; 2 Tim 4:2; Ac 6:7; 12:24; 13:49; 19:20). So if our preaching of the Word is poor or suboptimal or predictable, this does not speak favorably about UBF’s future.

The generally unfavorable comments about this year’s ISBC messages were virtually similar and identical to the comments from other UBF conferences in virtually every continent and country where there are UBF conferences. These comments were suppressed and not welcomed in the early years of UBF. But over the past decade comments about UBF messages are now increasingly articulated more and more for everyone in UBF to read and hear if they want to.

Some significant reasons our UBF messages “sound the same” is because it seems to be recycled from earlier UBF messages written over preceding decades. Also, the so-called “message trainers” tend to be the same people year in and year out for decades. These trainers are older missionaries and UBF staff, whose primary language is not English. Or the trainers are those who have been trained by the missionaries, and whose manner of English speaking has already been unnaturally altered by the training that they themselves have received for years from the older missionary and staff.

A common complaint is that UBF messages are spoken too slowly, and not at the pace and cadence of the way American English is normally and naturally spoken. Also, English UBF messages tends to come across as unnatural, scripted, predictable, formulaic, tired, and “the same as before.” Understandably, these obvious defects and nuances of speaking English are generally not perceived or addressed or corrected by the missionary trainers (or the native trainers trained by the missionary) because spoken English is not their primary language. As the saying goes, “A fish swimming in dirty water does not know that the water is dirty.”

What then can be done? These are some simple suggestions and proposals.

1. The messenger should read, listen to and learn from many non-UBF sermons (and commentaries) written and preached by renown preachers, theologians and scholars in order to get a sense of the broad scope and broad range of how different Christians preach and explain the same biblical text. This will begin to produce diversity and variation in our UBF messages, instead of always sounding the same. Francis Bacon says, “Reading makes a full man…”
2. Let the messenger write and prepare for his or her own message/sermon in their own way. Most great preachers in history (even from their teenage years and early 20s) wrote or prepared to preach their own sermons by doing their own preparation and research without being “trained” by someone else. Did anyone notice that the unanimously best speaker at the 2013 ISBC is a non-UBF American missionary who has never received any message training in her entire life? Can we learn anything about good public speaking from her?
3. The messenger’s content should be uniquely theirs and not ultimately those of the message trainer.
4. The messenger’s preaching must sound like the the messenger rather than sound like the message trainer. Therefore, do not “train” the messenger. This makes the messenger sound like the trainer, rather than sounding like himself or herself. Do not over-train the messenger. Training and over training makes the preached message sound scripted, rehearsed and unnatural, rather than fresh and new.
5. Replace the 5 oldest “message trainers” with 5 others, preferably those whose primary spoken language is English.
6. Those who are messengers should be those who believe they are called and gifted by God to preach. They should not just be those who are told or appointed by their UBF leaders, usually on account of their loyalty, faithfulness and commitment to UBF.
7. To know whether or not one is called to preach should not just be their own desire to preach, or the desire of their leader or shepherd for them. It should include the genuine opinion of their listeners. It is obvious that some Christians are not called to preach or teach (Jas 3:1), but to serve Jesus in some other way.
8. Allow the Holy Spirit to be the trainer. Trust the Holy Spirit rather than trusting one’s own massive preparation.

Can you add to this list of simple suggestions and advice?

Red Flags

I did not attend the ISBC, and after reading the comments, I’m glad I didn’t. I’m also relieved that I will never have to endure such programs ever again. Why? Because I see numerous red flags of what’s known as B.T.E. control. Stephan Hassan developed the B.I.T.E model of control, which explains how authority figures can influence and control even the brightest-minded people, and even people who are very independent. Due to the internet, ubf leaders can no longer control Information, so they are left with B.T.E. – behavior, thought and emotional control as means to influence people to support their cause. I see red flags in the comments to Ben’s article. I won’t point them out however. Those who can see the red flags already know what I’m talking about. Those who don’t see the flags will be best served to discover for themselves what I’m talking about.

A new thing

Based on the comments about the ISBC, I can see that nothing has changed over the past 25 years. The slow change has been going on for decades in ubf. It is always just slow enough for leaders in ubf to incorporate new ideas into the ubf heritage. I did notice one new thing this time though: a woman lecturer. Because my views about women in ministry are egalitarian, I’m glad to see this.

The Woolly Mammoth

The famous saying about an “elephant in the room” applied directly to the 2013 ISBC. It also applied to the 50th Anniversary celebration in 2011; except the “elephant” is now so big and hairy that it is the size of a woolly mammoth. I was told in person by the ubf GD that mentioning the 3 reform movements (of 1976, 1989 and 2000) was discussed in the planning of the 50th Anniversary. And it was decided by the leaders to leave out any mention of such events. They decided to “address it later”. I was assured personally by the GD that such events would be addressed sometime soon. (I knew not to hold my breath however because “soon” in ubf normally means about 50 years…)

The 2013 ISBC was the perfect moment to address the former members and the crisis of leaders leaving. But as someone noted, no mention of such things happened at the ISBC. If the leaders did not address the crisis openly at the ISBC, we can only conclude that the events and people involved will not be dealt with in any public or honest manner. In fact, I suspect a handful of Korean directors who haved caused much of the spiritual abuse and other problems in ubf will be once again glorified for yet another “successful ISBC”.

So after all the effort to produce another ISBC just about like all other ISBC’s, these “elephant in the room” questions remain. Will there be a leader in ubf with enough courage to address these questions publicly and honestly?

1. Will the facts of the 1976, 1989, 2000 and 2011 movements be addressed honestly and openly? Will anyone openly discuss what has been happening in Korea ubf chapters? Will anyone admit that several ubf chapters disintegrated recently such as in Russia, China and North America? Where can we get unbiased numbers?

2. Will the leaders in ubf continue to require a permanent, personal shepherd for every member of ubf? Will the shepherds and directors in ubf seek outside Christian resources to grow beyond their shallow, harmful theology? Will ubf conferences and programs continue to be times of binding people’s lives to the ubf heritage with the ubf ideology?

These are my repeated demands openly addressed to every ubf chapter director and to the General Director and also to the directors in Korea. I will continue to give voice to these concerns. And I will continue to be an open, available resource and a friend to anyone who was castaway or crushed by ubf leaders.

Will there be silence yet again?

Here is a list of the second part of the ubf heritage. These slogans become a kind of hamster wheel for ubf members.

Section II – Behavioral slogans
the ubf lifestyle
8. House churches
9. One to one Bible study
10. Disciple-making ministry
11. Daily Bread
12. Testimony writing & sharing

House Churches

A house church is a family who has gone through the arranged marriage process (marriage by faith), left their home ubf chapter, and gone out to another campus through the process called pioneering. A house church often refers to a ubf member’s dwelling that is used for UBF activities. Many small ubf chapters meet in leaders’ houses. Leaders often make analogies between this and the practice of the early Christian church meeting in members houses. Note that “house church” can sometimes have a more specific meaning, namely it can describe the union of those who are married in ubf and have not actually “pioneered” yet.

One to One/1:1 

This is the core element of the UBF indoctrination and manipulation system. Bible study is always done in a hierarchical setting with one person acting as the Bible teacher (shepherd) and the other one as the Bible student (sheep). All initiates have to go through this one-to-one Bible study every week, often for many years, and often continuing with a senior missionary as teacher even after they have become shepherds themselves. In addition, there are also group Bible study where usually the chapter director acts as the Bible teacher. UBF Bible studies are always based on a questionnaire. UBF uses human effort (i.e prayers and repetition) instead of historical, intellectual or spiritual study of the Bible. In this way, Bible study often becomes an idol. After many years, a UBFer cannot stop Bible study even if a friend or loved one is in need.

Disciple-making ministry

“Raising up disciples” is what UBF considers to be their main task. This means parenting young converts like little children and giving them “obedience training” until they comply with how UBF expects them to behave. ubf shepherds and missionaries are taught to be the new parents of college students, often replacing the role of their natural parents.

Daily Bread

Daily Bread is the title of a UBF devotional that members are required to buy every quarter and that is used in UBF early morning prayer meetings. “To write daily bread” means writing a UBF type sogam based on a passage of the Daily Bread booklet. UBF likes to claim they have invented Daily Bread devotionals, but in fact the material was copied from the Scripture Union booklets, and even translated directly from the Scripture Union Daily Bread. Later, UBF replaced the Bible comments and prayers with their own Bible interpretations. UBF’s version of the booklets are sold to UBF members at a much higher price than the original booklets. Recently, UBF created UBF Press, a publication department, to publish and sell Daily Bread booklets and other material.

Testimony/Sogam/Reflecting writing/sharing

A sogam is a Korean term meaning one’s impressions, opinions, thoughts, feelings and sentiments about something. This term is used in UBF for the written statements based on Bible passages that UBF members are required to write and share every week (see testimony writing and sharing). The idea behind this practice is that members don’t just read a Bible passage, but interpret it in the sense of UBF and give a personal response in front of the group about how they intend to apply it to themselves. Usually this happens by repenting for not having done enough UBF activities or for not being obedient enough, and the promise to do better in the next week, often setting concrete targets. That way, members are able to indoctrinate each other, and leaders are able to closely monitor and control the spiritual growth of their members.

Why do we need such a distinction between good and bad shepherding? It is because every Christian’s default is on the left side of the table. Without the work of the Spirit and the spirit of humility no one falls on the right side apart from Christ. For instance, the 12 UBF spiritual legacies itemized by Brian have tremendous potential for good. What Christian will ever say, “I disagree that we should go back to the Bible”? The problem entirely lies with the way a shepherd or UBF leader understands the phrase “go back to the Bible,” and the way he/she applies and implements it. All the problems of “go back to the Bible” or any of the 12 UBF legacies depend entirely on the way the shepherd/leader understands them and applies them to his/her chapter.

Is this contrast clear and self-evident?

Can you add any further distinctions between these 2 kinds of shepherding?

Reference: Shepherding Sheep (Mt 20:25-28).

Editorial note: Our friend “gc” has been offline for awhile, taking care of his growing family. Congratulations on your new child! Here are some thoughts on families by gc. Please read and respond to his heartelt words. He raises numerous questions that have not been discussed openly in the UBF context. This article provides a nice segue into the next UBF heritage point, “house churches”.

1. Introduction
I was inspired to write this article to bring together a variety of experiences that married couples are confronted with when having a baby in UBF. Of course there is no standard for social behaviour between (chapters/co-workers), but there is a natural interest in the future children. Just as there are many stories from couples there are even more stories from the second gens themselves. My inspiration comes after the birth of my second baby and my interest reflects observations and experiences within three different chapters. There is no opening or conclusion to this article. Hopefully, it can be built and developed by the readers to share a living experiential account of what happened when they began to expand their family by having children.

2. When are you ready for children? How many should you plan to have?
After marriage I did not have any counsel about how many children I should plan to have. I had seen many examples among different families. I had also observed different levels of stress according to native shepherd and missionary. I had no plan in my mind for the number of children, but rather kept in mind the need for properly supporting my family. I grew up in a family of six – that is four children. My wife and I conceived maybe about 5-6 months after we married. In our relationship with each other we were ready to start our family. However, in a practical sense we were not necessarily ready. As a result, we have both been stretched to our limits with even just one child due to our working schedule and the ministry requirements. When we depended on grandparents to help us it has meant sending our daughter to another city for not just one day or weekend but for maybe three weeks to a month at a time.

I have seen a recurring comment whenever the family unit is raised – ministry vs. children (sometimes spouse). In UBF when are you ready to have kids? How many? Since our schedules usually include an average 8 hour working day five days a week, our remaining time is divided between ministry and family (sleeping/not sleeping). In UBF we have many meetings, Sunday worship service and as many Bible studies as we can organize depending on the number of students who agree to study with us. Is it humanly possible to carry out each ‘role’ and ‘hat’ effectively? Assuming we are divided by 3 aspects of our life (family, work and ministry), then we can distribute our focus according to our desires. But not one of these will receive 100% of our attention. So, as a UBF shepherd or missionary – Should you have kids? How many can you manage? How many women are burnt out or depressed? Whose parents assist in raising the children? Does the husband engage in the dirty work of supporting domestic life?

3. Abortion/Birth Control
One topic which has as many interpretations as there are people is abortion and birth control. This reflects both moral and religious values so it is never clear what UBF requires. It is clearly taboo since the elephant in the room has been the history of demanded abortions which has yet to be properly addressed by leadership. But in a different context, what experiences have people had among the chapters? It is a deeply personal aspect of married life, but there are also degrees of interpretation of what birth control means. Could it mean prescribed abstinence as directed by the chapter director or shepherd? Is it abstinence at the discretion of the couple? Could it just simply imply the use of pills and condoms? What are feelings on surgery (vasectomy, tubal ligation and hysterectomy)?

4. Relationships Between Shepherd Family and Senior Leaders
This comment is strictly theoretical in essence, but maybe there are people out there who can contribute and develop it as per experience. The relationships between people in any time and place always affect group dynamics. How does the dynamic in a chapter influence the time of starting a family? Does it even play out as an influence? Is it important at all? What happens socially to a couple that for whatever reason cannot conceive? What emotional and spiritual support is there for a woman who has miscarried? What if a senior family believes that one, two or three children were respectively God’s plan for their family and therefore attempt to apply it to a younger family?

5. Men and Women: What are your roles?
I have had an interesting experience in my married life since I was thrown into my wife’s country without any preparation. In Canada I was responsible to represent my family for any official procedure because my wife was able but shy to use her English. I had lived independently and knew how to cook and bake. I had been meticulous at house-keeping. In general I was used to supporting myself and taking care of domestic concerns. For a Korean woman I was opposite the expectation – that is because I had grown up in a society which demands of men to know all of the above in the name of equality. Any North American woman will observe immediately that the UBF church social order has two influences:
a) Traditional roles as defined by a church doctrine
b) Traditional Korean family roles
In simplicity, that is why most often modern western women would refuse to marry a Korean man in ubf. They do not want to be set back by several decades in their own social construct.

Since being in Korea almost all of my abilities have been silenced because of my natural limitations here, but also because the social structure reinforces my life in such a way. That being said, I have been making efforts to return to my former initiative, but it is not always easy. This of course includes an active interest in the raising of children.

6. The Baby is born – What are the names? Why?
Picking a name is important for anyone. If you are Christian it is important to have vision for yourself and certainly your family. Most times names will be after the biblical narratives. However, sometimes I have seen selection to honour senior leaders. I cannot make a broad statement whereupon a senior leader demanded this, but I have observed apparent voluntary action. I have also observed and experienced absolute freedom from ministry and coworkers in the naming experience. I have a simple view for the naming of children in my family. My wife gives the Korean name and I the non-Korean name. For my daughter, I just simply liked the name. However, my wife dreamt and had a sort of vision when naming her. For our son it was the reverse situation. We both named our children with prayer and vision.

7. Direction from Chapter director?
Has there ever been a case where direction of any kind occurred in the chapter? By direction I mean the hope and vision for any child that is born in that chapter. Do children belong to the family or the chapter? Have they in some way been blessed with certain implications made by a chapter director? Most church tradition initiates newborns with a baptism, but that is not what I mean. Since a member often makes an oath, vow or other such promise then has it ever been practiced on a submissive and unaware baby or child?

8. The Family Unit/The Greater Family Unit/The Ministry Family Unit
For most parents establishing their family is among the most pleasurable events in married life. No matter the struggle or difficulty in raising a family it is an endless reward and experience for our lives on earth. Also, for our own parents or siblings there is much joy in coming together as a big family. We have raised many complaints on several occasions because of misunderstood priorities between family and ministry. Why does UBF implicitly (sometimes explicitly) justify church relationships to become more important than our own family in terms of parents and siblings and also spouse and children? Is there a viable Christian explanation? Where is the boundary between biological families and church families? Who is more important? Why? We all have varying attitudes on this as well as experiences so remember the difference between your ideal and the actual reality.