Comments on: My Reasons

By: Chris

Chris — Sun, 30 Dec 2012 12:13:56 +0000

So actually it was not much of a “decision”. It simply was not possible to stay any longer. We and UBF had become like oil and water. Until then, we had been living in a fantasy world, believing that UBF was something special, a place where angels lived, guided by good shepherds who only wanted to do Godly things according to the Bible. Sure, we noticed spiritual abuse done on us and others, but we had grown accustomed to it, were not very sensitive to it, and tried to rationalize it away, and tried most of the time to just not think about it (cult experts would talk about “thought stopping” in this context). So we more or less happily lived in UBF, believing to be part of a Christian community that was only following the will of God. In the year before we left, we slowly recognized that this was a delusion, UBF was not really following the Bible, leaders behaved in many sinful ways in the past, and the abuse we experienced was not the exception but rather the rule in UBF. We then naively thought that when these things were revealed, members and leaders would be shocked and start to repent and change. However, the opposite was the case. There was only cover-up, appeasement, denial, and a strict refusal to even talk about these things. The “angel-like” members did not even seem to be shocked to hear about things like the forced abortions. One missionary even tried to justify it by saying abortion was not disallowed in the Bible. Our director taught us to follow the big leader even if we do not understand his ways, like that leader was God. Reform was called rebellion; my director’s wife told me “you can wait for reform until we are all buried. It had become obvious that UBF did not want to do what is right, but what is UBFish. It became clear that they did not care about the truth and the Bible at all. So that was the end. To see our fellow UBFers and self-acclaimed shepherds behave in such ways was the second big disappointment for me. I cannot put in words how big that disappointment was. Until today it makes me sad and angry. In such an environment it was simply not possible any more to have Christian fellowship, to listen to sermons or share testimonies or sing Christians songs as if nothing had happened. All of that had become stale and bogus. That’s what my wife meant when she said it felt like we were acting up and game-playing when we were in the UBF center. We felt it was not only senseless to stay there, because change clearly was not going to happen, but it was also spiritually insane and dangerous to stay there. We had been in UBF because we believed it was our spiritual home. Now it clearly wasn’t our spiritual home anymore, so there was no sense in staying there.

By: Chris

Chris — Sun, 30 Dec 2012 05:19:22 +0000

My reasons for leaving were a bit different. We left during the 2001 reform movement. In that time, so many obvious problems were revealed, including horrible things like forced abortions. Therefore we started to vote for UBF reform in our chapter that was hardline anti-reform. I wanted to give my chapter leader a chance and decided to stay for one more year to see if things changed. But after some months, my wife and I suddenly and on the very same day, independently of each other, felt a strong push by the Holy Spirit to not stay in such an unhealthy enviroment even one day longer. My wife said to me “I feel like we’re playing theater when going to UBF now” and I felt the same. The next Sunday after the service, we publicly declared at the members meeting that our conscience did not allow us to stay in that environment any more, and since then we did not put a foot into the UBF center any more. In hindsight, I still think it was the only possible and right decision in our situation. The sins and problems of UBF were obvious and laying on the table, yet our chapter director refused to even look at them and instead only tried to brainwash and “re-educate” us.

By: Chris

Chris — Sun, 30 Dec 2012 05:04:42 +0000

Kevin, it’s good to see that you and other UBF directors, at least those in smaller remote chapters, can start to do things such as cooperating with other churches (maybe even attend theological seminaries for further education) without getting problems with the headquarters. I think this has only become possible because the top leadership now has become weak and divided, and members are leaving UBF so they are happy about everyone who stays and ready to make compromizes. In the time of Samuel Lee, directors who tried to cooperate with other churches would have been ordered back to the headquarters to receive training and often would have been replaced by another director while being at the headquarters for training. That’s what happened to James Kim in Toledo, Augustine Hope Song in Moscow. The reformers of 2001 complained about these cases, and were eventually expelled from UBF, too. I think all UBF directors who now have such freedom should demand from the top leadership that the reformers of the past should be officially fully rehabilitated. They wanted to do the same things, but were not heared, called rebels and children of the devil instead, and eventually expelled for demanding reasonable things and complaining about serious existing grievances. Also, I wonder how long people like Kevin will stay in UBF. Once you get in contact with “ordinary” Christians you will start to see how strange and aberrant UBF and their core practices and methods are. I think that’s also the main reason why UBF leaders do not want cooperation with other churches. Aberrant teachings and abusive practices can only prosper behind a closed fence.

By: briank

briank — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 19:21:19 +0000

As I look forward to 2013, I believe all the more firmly in my 2011 decisions!

By: briank

briank — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 23:55:07 +0000

Maureen, Thank you for sharing! It really is just that simple. We need to hear the Lord’s voice clearly for ourselves.

By: Maureen Tarrant

Maureen Tarrant — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 23:07:40 +0000

My one reason for leaving UBF was to hear the Lord’s voice clearly for myself.

By: briank

briank — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 21:16:04 +0000

Kevin,

I am glad to hear about your situation and recent discoveries. In regard to your list of options, I saw #1 and #2 as not viable in my situation.

Your option #3 is considered absolute blasphemy in my part of the UBF world. Networking with a chapter outside the Great Lakes region and not always networking with Toledo? Not a chance! To attend other churches and actually cowork with them? I would be told “How dare you!” I could have chosen #3, but in light of certain events, my conscience wouldn’t allow me to fight this battle.

I think our situations are different in a significant way: We were sent to Detroit as training, not to do a church-plant. There simply is no concept of “church-planting” in my part of the UBF world.

So I chose option #4: to become vocal and public about issues I saw, regardless of the risk to my “career” in UBF.

And I say a hearty amen to this: “it is actually wrong to not co-work.”

By: Kevin Jesmer

Kevin Jesmer — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 20:34:06 +0000

I understand your agony, but I came to a different conclusion. I have been in DeKalb since 1998. I have always prayed for a 1:1 Bible study, discipleship, campus based ministry. I still do. I am a single family housechurch. But I have come to a conclusion over the years…the cavalry is not coming to the rescue. I realize that DeKalb and NIU are not desirable destinations for most missionaries in America. And that is OK. Someone has to church plant. But my isolation drove me to network in two phases. First phase was to network with UBF chapters around me. And so, over the years I have been teaming up with Triton and DuPage UBF. But still this relationship is limited. Over the last couple of years I have realized my situation here is what I make of it. Jesus started to get me thinking outside of the box. I used to think I only had two options. 1) Stick it out and live as single family house church forever or 2) close up shop and move to a larger UBF church. I did not even think that there was a third option. The third option is co-work with other Christians in the area. And so we started supporting “open mic” night at a local church. We started to have Christmas eve with them. We now hold our worship services in a room in their church. We sing at nursing homes on Christmas.We sang at Christian music festivals. The possibilities are endless. My reality is what i make of it. God shows me possibilities and open doors and I need to get outside the box and go for it. And since joining the Wheaton Cohort with Dr Armstrong, I have realized that I can not survive without co-working with other area churches and Christians. it is actually wrong to not co-work. God is blessing these efforts. It took years to think about option number three. I am still a UBF shepherd. I my house church is still a UBF chapter.But what this means and how it looks is changing. Some of these changes make me sad and some make me excited about the future. But me and my family are being transformed by the Holy Spirit and guided by the Holy Spirit.

By: BrianK

BrianK — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 07:23:36 +0000

Art, wow, Paul in college! Now I feel about 50 years older than I am :) I can only thank God for what He has done, for me and our family. And yes, I’m pushing the envelope again (like using older technology such as email and blogs!).

By: Art Belcher

Art Belcher — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 18:16:28 +0000

Dear Brian, yes that was the Christian life! Yeah they’re not kids anymore; only Rebekah is in HS. Peter finished his first year of college and is looking for work to pay for the rest. Paul just started working on a 2 year degree in Computer Engineering, and I’m just working (smile). Give Mary and hug and kiss from us. God bless your children. Praise God for Ruth and her baptism and confession of faith. Yeah I do remember you trying use modern technology to help your Bible study–you always were a rabble rouser. your brother Art.

By: BrianK

BrianK — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 11:26:30 +0000

Art,

Life has come a long way since that little Montebello house, eh? Those times of fellowship decades ago–that is Christian life! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. They mean more to me now than you could possibly know. I’m glad to hear you and Rhoda and your children are doing well in the Lord at Emmanual. I suppose by now, Peter, Paul and Rebekah are not exactly children though! Please say hello to all of them. Mary says hello too!

All six of us are attending Grace Community here in Detroit. Ruth and Anna are in high school. Ruth will be baptized at Grace soon. Noah (6th grade) and John (1st grade) love to attend Grace also.

Speaking of the “net” and how it’s grown. It is so funny to me to communicate with people from around the world with technology. I remember back in 1992 or so being reprimanded for “cheating” during Bible study by using an electronic Bible. I was told that I was in danger of making my testimonies not as spiritual as others because I printed them out on a computer instead of handwriting them and using scissors and glue to make Bible study notes!

Thank you again my friend, it’s good to hear from you.

By: Art Belcher

Art Belcher — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 06:13:45 +0000

Dear Brian, every 6 months or so I type in ‘Toledo UBF’ to see how things are going. I came across your site and I was greatly encouraged to read about you and your family. Most of all to read about your submission to God the Holy Spirit. Hallelujah!! I have also met the Holy Spirit and accepted the truth in Romans 8, especially verse 14; “…because those who are led by the Spirit are sons of God.” Indeed, Jesus has given us the Holy Spirit, not to be used as a power source, but to lead us as our blessed ‘Director'(I stole that from you) and Supplier for the life and ministry Jesus has called us to. You know Brian I am still mostly computer illiterate and don’t navigate the ‘net’ too well. But I hope to read more of what you have written and to hear from you. Rhoda, Peter, Paul and Rebekah and I are doing well in the Lord here in Akron. We go to Emmanual Christian Assembly and are thanking Jesus for the Spirit’s control. How else could we live this blessed life! your brother, Art

By: BrianK

BrianK — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 12:54:36 +0000

Enrich, thank you and God bless your own journey of faith. Please say hello to Abraham for me. I pray for God’s healing throught the Spirit.

By: Enrich

Enrich — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 04:34:53 +0000

Brian,
I am thankful to God that i could have a chance to read your post. It is indeed deep and meaningful. I like it and I agree to it when you say “I truly belive the Reformed idea that the church can teach and exhort, but the matters of faith and practice are matters of individual conscience before God. No church governing body can compel or bind a person’s conscience.”
May God bless you all the more…