You may be wondering what will happen if you read this book. Maybe you are confused about what I am doing. Should you believe the Brian who once spoke glowingly about our ministry? Or should you believe the Brian who now bashes and criticizes our ministry unceasingly? Should you believe the Brian who prayed so much and sat quietly in meetings, enabling our country to become a priestly nation? Or should you believe the Brian who now slams Korean missionaries at every turn?
I would ask the same questions of you. Which UBF should I believe? Should I believe the UBF that claims to be a mainline evangelical church and Christian missionary-sending organization? Or should I believe the UBF that is a chaotic network of self-supporting businesses? Should I believe the UBF that claims to be making disciples of Jesus? Or should I believe the UBF that shreds peoples’ lives with invented disciplines like dead dog training? Should I believe the UBF that praised me for two decades? Or should I believe the UBF that says I am demon-possessed after sharing my honest feelings?
You may not believe the things I write about here in this book. That’s ok. I am not asking you to believe anything. I am not asking you to agree with me or to leave the ministry. I understand that this section is all that you may read from this book. It may be too fearful, too emotional or too difficult to keep reading.
If there is one thing I want to say while I do have your attention, it would be this: I loved UBF once just as you do. I am not some outsider who speaks from observation. I am a true insider who once stood with you in your mission. I believed in the mission UBF teaches. I believed it so strongly that I gave over my life decisions, like who to marry, to the ministry. I gave my youth, my adult years, my time, my money—I gave everything for the sake of our vision for a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.
As I mention in the opening of this chapter, one day in 2006 I was shocked to hear a student tell me he would not join my Bible cult when I approached him on campus. I did not even say anything, but he knew what I was doing. In my mind, I was obeying Jesus. In his mind, I was recruiting for a cult. How could this be? Did he not know I was a holy servant of God appointed to change the nation into a holy nation? I pondered this man’s words for years. It was one of many reality checks that helped set me free from a subtle yet powerful Bible-based delusion. In time, I began to see the growing disconnect between my perception of UBF and the reality of UBF. I came to terms with two realities in particular: I am living in a fantasy. I am seen as a cult leader by the outside world.
I understand that you may question my use of the term cult. That’s too harsh isn’t it? Yes it is too harsh. But that is not my term. When I use the word cult to describe the ministry I once loved, it means I am accepting the reality around us. The world, the Christian world, sees this ministry as cultic. That label was given to us and has stuck for decades. Shouldn’t someone address this label? We love Jesus and are seeking to bring His kingdom to earth. Why should we have to endure the accusation of being a cult?
Our leaders don’t seem to care. In fact, some of them wear the cult label almost as a badge of courage. They say that if you are being criticized, you must be doing something right. Well I want to point out that it may also mean you are doing something wrong.
Thank you for reading this far. If you can bear with me and hear me out, I think you will be pleasantly surprised by what I have to say. It is painful to deconstruct the beliefs I once held so dear. Yet such deconstruction is necessary, healthy and highly beneficial for our faith.
I hope you will see that I have a much higher goal in this book than merely deconstructing ideologies. I want to show how my identity changed over the past three decades. I want to show how we can all walk the path of redemption. I want to share with you the amazing, all-surpassing gospel—the gospel of peace and grace, the gospel of the glory of Jesus and the kingdom of God—the gospel of salvation that leads to freedom and life to the full.
For many years, I heard my fellow shepherds at UBF tell me, “There is always another side to every former member story!” I agree. The problem is that our side of the stories are silenced and dismissed as lies or spiritual poison. I don’t know your experience at UBF. But for me and hundreds of others, UBF stole our identities. Now I tell our stories.
Excerpted from Identity Snatchers: Exposing A Korean Campus Bible Cult, pg.14-16
Wow, this introduction to your book is so eloquent. It is honest and authentic. Whoever said, “There is always another side to every former member story” was right. There is always another side to every single story, because we are human.
Through this short article, I see your vulnerability. There is not much difference between us. To experience disillusionment, heart break, conditional love, really bad relationships, etc. is part of the human experience. What you write resonates with anyone and everyone. (By the way, I’m not trying to pretend like I know what you went through, I just say this to reinforce what you say, how your identity was stolen and you need to tell your story.)
I wish I had known what I know now, earlier, but maybe I wouldn’t have listened if anyone tried to tell me. I want to write a book or teach a class on relationships. (I’m sure there’s plenty of literature out there already, but no one taught me explicitly what a bad relationship is, especially if it’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.) And in a church setting there especially is so much potential for spiritual manipulation. From my personal experience, I was not taught how to think on my own or do my own Biblical research.
Thank you for sharing. God has given you the gift of communication. Thank you for your diligence and thoroughness in the work you do. And thank you for this site!
Thanks MJ. I plan to make some time to react to your thought provoking articles.
I’ll be posting a few excerpts from my book, as a way to announce that a Spanish edition is in the works.
This song explains how I feel these days. But at the same time I am saddened by the violence around the world especially in Syria and the political situation in the US.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=06WM8oLH87M
As I mentioned, the Spanish edition of my book is in the works. The announcement is below.
I am willing to pay for the following translations, if anyone is interested: Russian, Korean, Manderin, German, French.
Ladrones de Identidad: Exponiendo a una secta bíblica coreana del campus
observe: we must endure many trials/tribulations to decompress from twisted ideas/acts toward finding better
in the lyrics of steve green: may all who come behind us find us faithful..