Hello, I recently left UBF after being part of the organization for a few years. I had my doubts about the organization from the beginning, but I was afraid that if I left, I would be leaving God and would no longer be a Christian. Finally, after some time of living in the common life, my eyes were opened to the critical faults of the organization, and I couldn’t be part of the church anymore.
I was part of a UBF chapter in California. One part of my specific church that I couldn’t accept is that many of the shepherds would only fish “mainstream” (white) students, and when any person of color (esp. African Americans) attended the church, they were largely ignored, while the white students received extremely special treatment.
I only taught a few Bible studies and didn’t fish nearly as often as others, yet I was asked to give a message almost every conference, participate in dramas, and I moved into common life when I was still younger in spirit (UBF’s standard) than many other members. I always thought that this was just God’s extra special grace upon me, but over time I realized that my light skin color, light hair, and light eyes had a lot to do with the attention I was getting.
I am wondering if you have heard of similar stories like this one in other UBF chapters?
I understand that this is certainly something that can be found in many non-UBF churches, but considering the multiplicity of problems with UBF, this kind of racial issue is something that shouldn’t be ignored.
Also, I am wondering if you have studied or heard stories of mental illness or psychological problems in students of UBF and UBF shepherds?
While I lived in common life, I was always under a lot of pressure to conform to UBF standards, and I never felt good enough, so I honestly remember many nights of hopping into my car after testimony sharing and wanting (sometimes trying) to crash my car into a wall. Sometimes I couldn’t smile for days at a time, even though I never had a history of such depressing feelings and thoughts. All of this started in UBF, particularly when common life training started.
I felt as if I was going crazy, and my mild anger problem kept growing and growing, when it should have been healing as I came to God more for help. I was told that these psychological problems were Satan’s attack or the result of my own doubt, but now that I have left the organization,
I am wondering if the lack of true gospel and the militaristic culture and legalism of UBF can have some correlation with psychological problems developing in people?
I am back to normal now that I do not attend the UBF church, and it is as if a heavy chain is off of my shoulders. Praise God for that, but I am hoping that others will soon come into the light and find healing through prayer and/or simply through psychological counseling, as some may really need that, even when UBF considers getting such help to be humanistic.
I guess I am contacting you because I would like to know if others have experienced similar things in UBF?
Lastly, before deciding to leave the church, I had become extremely concerned about the marriage by faith (arranged marriage) part of UBF, as I could foresee the person the pastor would want to put me with, and I knew I couldn’t trust that God was the one choosing that marriage partner for me. I wondered if arranged marriage was normal in Christian churches, so I posted this question on Reddit. Here is a link to the post:
Arranged marriage in non-denominational Christian churches?
I received a lot of really concerned and helpful answers, and it helped to strengthen my resolve that the UBF way of marriage is not Biblically sound. I am sending you the link for your reference, since you often discuss questions about UBF issues and help troubled members, and the Reddit discussion may be useful to some who were having the same questions and doubts as I was. I appreciate any answers/info you may have!
Thank you, Search16.
Hello search16! Thank you for this present day story and example of how UBF affected you.
I will quickly comment where I can.
Similar stories do exist in UBF. I never faced this in my time, however, where I was the only serious students were white. In neighbouring chapters they most often had black, other Asian and sometimes white. No preference appeared to be given. Tolerance for other minorities is variable – right? The ideal model are white students. They are conquering North America – so that means the only native students are the white ones. Who disagrees?
I think just about anyone who agreed to attend more activities than just a Bible study have experienced some form of psychological stress. The controls placed on separating boys and girls is often a primary issue. Think about the actual demands of attending Bible study, Testimony meetings and the Sunday worship. Eventually, we all take the time to prepare nice materials and testimonies. If we even miss one event we receive a flood of phone calls, texts or even emails. Make an honest mistake and it could result in a rebuke and public shaming. I don’t really need to go further but the pressures faced in UBF are often at the expense of our inner peace and happiness. Korean military culture as it is now has spread and already penetrated the peoples of other countries through UBF and most likely other cults (Beware the Abrahams and Sarahs of faith!!). It is worse than any terminal illness.
I am sure you can find many stories and examples of similarity among all the discussions on here and archived.
I was/am apart of this group. By and large most chapters of this group have a lot of issues. They blend Confucianism with Christianity and turn it into a cult with their insane emphasis on obedience to the pastor. I did marry someone in the group, but she was from the Philippines chapter and it was not arranged in the same style as Korean chapters.
We left after I graduated, but you should absolutely not marry in this group to a Korean. They try to pair Koreans who are obedient to the pastor to those who are not (when they see it) and then bind the couple into the church.
They participate in typical cult practices: proof texting, an exclusionary gospel (gospel is only for college students, they don’t believe this per se- but its communicated in all their actions), obedience to UBF tradition at all costs.
I heard one long time leader of the group go so far as to say “I believe UBF has found the only satisfying way to a good life through it’s commitment to world mission.”
Some chapters are not like this. Typically (but not always) you can tell a bad chapter from a good chapter based on how the leader is called by his long standing members. If they universally use the honorifics like “missionary” as in “I had bible study with Missionary Sam” then you have found a bad chapter.
Hi search16 and welcome to ubfriends. I am really glad you shared this open letter. Our community here is laying low at the moment, probably we are tired out from the 20,000+ comments on the old ubfriends site!
In any case, I appreciate your thinking for your self and making your own decisions. Contrary to UBFism thinking, you can make your own decision WITHOUT your shepherd’s approval or input. Your personal lifelong supervisor does not need to know so much about you. They are NOT your parents.
I also enjoyed reading the reddits you point out. There were over 120 comments to your question–a massive reality check. This is so helpful to do.
If anyone thinks UBFism is so wonderful, just ask other outsiders what they think of the 12 heritage points… Outsiders simply cannot understand what ubfers are talking about. So I concur with the reddit advice: gtfo
We ought to discuss one of your main points, search16, which is racism.
I raise the issue of UBFers being racist against black people in my cartoon: Kimchi Bible – racism
I heard so many horrible racist remarks in my time…why didn’t I call them out? I was enslaved by UBFism, of course.
One Korean chapter director used the n***** word several times in his Friday announcements when praying for Africa… one American shepherd interrupted his announcements and told him “We don’t use that word in America”. The chapter director was VERY disturbed that he was interrupted and so he justified himself. Then the American shepherd became silent. The chapter director continued “praying” and used the n***** word one more time. We all were offended but we all remained silent.
When I was in Russia, I felt the racism against black people intensely, not from Russians, but from Korean UBFers. They openly mentioned their disdain for people from Africa or anyone with dark skin…
Between 1993-2000, when I served both as a fellowship (small group) leader and assistant fellowship leader, I attended the weekly meetings of fellowship leaders led by Samuel Lee. At these meetings, as I have earlier written, Mr. Lee exerted constant pressure on the fellowship leaders to keep up with his demand for greater numbers at the Chicago UBF Sunday worship services. However, in spite of his unrelenting demand for greater numbers, Mr. Lee never seemed to lose his focus on the importance of recruiting white Americans. During the fellowship leader meetings, Mr. Lee would frequently declare that only white Americans would be counted as a valid attendant of the Chicago UBF worship services. In other words, the number of people who were not white Americans attending the worship service would not count and would not be credited to the fellowship leaders. Sometimes, Mr. Lee would go further and declare that recruits of a certain racial background (other than white) would count against the worship service attendance total for a fellowship. One particular fellowship had a number of Chinese recruits attending the worship service on a regular basis in the mid-1990s. Mr. Lee declared that Chinese recruits attending the worship service would count as a “minus one,” that is, one would be deducted from the worship service attendance total for every Chinese recruit that attended. On other occasions, Mr. Lee would declare that each non-white attendant to the worship service would count as a “minus two” deduction from the worship service attendance total. In this way, he sought to penalize fellowship leaders who recruited anyone other than “white Americans.” https://exubfjc.wordpress.com/tag/personal-story/
It is so weirdly disturbing that on the one hand, UBF provides a platform of missionary zeal, connecting with people round the world in so many countries, whereas on the other hand this racist issue made it’s way into many chapters, overtly or covertly
The dialogue is quiet these days. The racism issue is an enormous concern if UBF is to have a healthy Christian relationship among anyone who is not Korean.
I would say that the in-grained Korean culture leaves little tolerance for anyone of African heritage. On top of that, the stereotyping that already exists in the USA makes it even more difficult to remove the rude and abrasive atmosphere that most Korean missionaries have expressed.
But what about First Nations or Aboriginals? Here is another area where Koreans have a variety of reactions or understandings. And another example for Latin Americans…
I remember working with a man (not UBF) who was originally from Laos and Koreans mocked him because his skin colour was darker – like that of a farmer or field worker. Anyway, the point is other Asians or South East Asians are also subject to the same ridicule.
Whites do get priority, but they have also been called lazy, ignorant and ungodly etc…..
In my experiences with Koreans, especially the so-called Christian variety – they appear kind and pleasant upon first meetings. However, after a while they will pick up their nationalism and remind others that the food is too spicy, the language too difficult, the traditions unfathomable, the men/women unattractive…..all of these and more play on an outsiders pure and true ignorance of the Korean people, their heritage and their way of life.
Oh, how I love such Korean Christians who have sacrificed home and country so that they can make every other nations people twice a son of hell as them. Oh, I love how their bench marking and stereotyping is more accurate about any nation in the world than someone who is of natural descent.
The issue of racism is broad, but most objectionable in the main English speaking countries of the ministry where the population is built up of peoples of different colours and religious backgrounds. It is ignorance to fawn over the white students in favour of anyone else. But it is what it is.
There is more activity on Wikipedia these days than ubfriends… Lol
https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=University_Bible_Fellowship&action=history
Thanks so much, search16, for sharing. Racism is always very very sad and unfortunate. I shared about this 4 years ago: http://ubfriends.net/archive2015/2012/04/05/is-there-racism-in-your-church/
I am very sorry that I had personally participated in such racist attitudes for a couple of decades in my selective preference for WBS (white boy sheep) and HNWs (holy nation women, i.e. white women). May God have mercy on us.
Today at West Loop UBF church, I thank God that we have a diverse community with no race being given any special preference or favor. At our recent Father’s day luncheon, we had 7 fathers with 7 different ethnicities. If you have Facebook, here’s the pic: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10154315246704490&set=a.10153758233849490.1073741831.624074489&type=3&theater
I highly recommend this song, and the movie in the video.
Chris Tomlin – Amazing Grace
Movie – Amazing Grace
Both of these were instrumental in my journey of recovery from the heavy chains of UBFism.
The gospel is liberation. Jesus’ mission statement is Luke 4:18-21.
I recall being on quite a few conference trips, eating fellowships where I was being antagonized by two other members who were non black/Asian. When I asked them to stop or confronted them I was the one who was reprimanded. I felt angry because he would never say anything to the others involved in the incident just me from his p.o.v I was at fault for refusing to be disrespected and he called me an “anger-holic” several times just for making my displeasure known for the behaviors I did not appreciate. It got to the point to where I felt the fellowship I was in was looking down on me and they guised there elitism/racial bias as a form of helping me. There was a situation that occurred where I was having dinner at my former Sheppard’s house and his daughter said “you(me)have a brown face I have a white face”. Long story short Going off of my experience I can relate to this article and I believe racism in the modern Christian church is one of many CRITICAL issues that must be addressed sooner rather than later.
I am not sure of your ethnic background Rocket773, but I agree that all racism should be addressed when discussing racism in the church community. It is not just from the Korean missionaries, but also anyone else, including whites. However, to be true, I have not witnessed it except from the Koreans. One occasion I did study with other students at a conference and they were being rude about the Koreans, but they were not white – they were actually Latin American.
Even outside of UBF, Korea–being the most ethnically homogeneous society in the world today–is well known for being elitist by communicating to others ethnicities that their way, their tradition, their perspective, their hierarchical authoritariansm and their culture is the right one and the best one.
For instance some Koreans often think of themselves as hospitable and honorable (which is common in communal honor based cultures) while they might regard Americans as selfish and crass (since Americans are clearly more individualistic and prefer to have clearly defined boundaries and are generally embracing of different styles and expressions).
Of course, this is a blind spot that is unknown to many who were born in Korea. If this is pointed out to those with this blind spot of cultural elitism, they simply become offended with a look of “How dare you” and “Who do you think you are!”
Hello,
Here is what I learned about UBF race relations and marriages back in the 80’s and 90’s.
1. During a meeting (at the University of Maryland), the chapter director’s wife explained that UBF prefers white students because they are more ignorant of the Bible than black students who usually come from Bible-believing families, attend church, and are generally faithful to God.
2. I am not a proponent of arranged marriages because I experienced one myself. With an arranged marriage, you obey the process and the people who assigned you to each other. With a marriage that is not arranged, two people follow their love that cannot be pre-arranged.
3. When a woman in the UBF organization had children from a previous relationship, the leadership coerced her to give them away to their father. If he lived far away, the mother rarely saw her children again due to the travel restrictions imposed upon members and UBF’s disdain for families, especially non-UBF families.
4. The “servant of God,” SL, usually scheduled weddings around his birthday in the form of mass weddings, that is, he performed one brief ceremony after another all day long.
5. I feel that an arranged marriage takes the fun out of marriage because from the beginning there is no love, no romance, and no intimacy. Marriage is never easy no matter how it got started, but it is so much harder to make it work when a person is forced to marry someone whom he or she would not have chosen if allowed to exercise his or her free will.
6. However, the organization’s goal was not to create happy and healthy families, but to establish house churches that would recruit the “right” kind of students and transform them into loyal and obedient UBF members who would eventually recruit others.
7. Yet despite all the pressures to conform, a few people managed to marry exactly the person whom they loved and wanted to marry as in Solomon’s Song of Songs that beautifully and artistically depicts the love between a man and a woman.
8. The Bible often refers to God and Jesus as the believer’s husband or bridegroom. This makes sense to me because in many ways the relationship between God and his people should be like a great romance whose passion never ends.
Women didn’t seem to have fared much better than non-white recruits. I frequently noticed that there were clearly defined gender roles among missionaries and a strong preference for males. It was always the women who cooked, cleaned, and served the men, never the other way around. This way of thinking and acting sometimes rubbed off on native shepherds.
The birth of a daughter was usually a valid reason for depression. If the girl was a second or third daughter, her parents’ depression might last for months or longer.
I don’t know of any female chapter directors although there may have been a few. In regard to the highest-ranking female in UBF, SB, I remember SL proudly announcing that he made her his secretary.
> I don’t know of any female chapter directors
Which would be understandable if UBF really was a fundamentalist church that takes the Bible literally (1 Cor 14:34-35). However, as we all know they can easily override such Biblical concerns and conduct divorces, re-marriages, have a high-ranking “Reverend Mother Barry”, have women occasionally preach in conferences if no suitable man is available etc. There is really no clear position of UBF in this regard, as always. All the rules and culture are implicit and obscure and just reflect whatever the (male) leaders in their UBF-Korean mindset think is good.
Chris, this is an excellent point. At least if UBF clearly identified itself as a fundamentalist Christian church or adhered to one of the 7 mainline churches, we could decide whether something was good or bad, and we could make decisions accordingly.
But UBFism is intentionally vague. The only things that are clear are “Obey your shepherd” and “Don’t leave UBF”.
Moriah, this is an important discussion topic, and excellent point: “Women didn’t seem to have fared much better than non-white recruits.”
The so-called women’s ministry was always dismissed by the male leaders in my part of UBF-land. They were always separate.
I received a LOT of REBUKE for allowing women messengers in my fellowship 🙂
Oh and God help UBF when the women speak up publicly…
BIG CONTRADICTION at UBF: They claim to be a “mainline church”. But they have zero ties to any of the 7 mainline churches in America or anywhere around the world.
problem: overprivilege
color: money (green in US)
I remember so many messages and sogams over decades in UBF in which someone was said to have “run away in the middle of the night” or “run away without saying goodbye.” So, it looks like recruits are still doing it today. That members have to exit a group like this tells you all you need to know about this group.
Welcome Wholenumber to YouBeFriends! You are correct, as recent as a couple years ago, a ubf shepherd contacted me about how to leave. He only felt comfortable leaving at midnight.
“…hopping into my car after testimony sharing and wanting (sometimes trying) to crash my car into a wall.”
Been there and done that. It was on a Sunday before yet another soul-sucking, numbers-focused “worship service.” I had passengers with me. I rage-drove through a narrow alley. They were terrified.
I am only very peripherally involved in UBF now, due to a family member’s utter psychological dependence on UBF. But even the little bit of occasional contact with UBF can bring back some of that anger because, unfortunately, I have to sometimes be in the vicinity of some of the most historically toxic individuals in UBF or their disciples.
@ Whole number I know the feeling cause after numerous worship services I felt depressed, angry and wanted nothing more than to be unconscious. The “worship service” is nothing more than a numbers/standards meeting because it has nothing whatsoever to do with actual worship of the heavenly father.
Those testimony sharings, man. They were… something else. Ugh.