Hello everyone,
This will be an article series on “How to leave UBF for Good”. It is no doubt a big question that all if not most of you have pondered about. So here not only will the question be answered but also how to execute the departure from UBF as well.
Like my friend C.W. was telling me through a conversation that “How to leave to leave UBF for Good” is “a multi-faceted question”. Indeed I agree with him for anyone who has been in UBF has to fundamentally face their own difficult whether they have been there for decades or just months & whether they were there solo, with family members, or come to have an arranged family.
The fundamental structure of the series will be like this (part of it was suggested by C.W:
- Manipulation
- Brainwashing
- Finances
- Psychological issues/triggers (ex: PTSD)
- Abuse (spiritual, mental, and physical)
- Marriage (UBF process)
- Family (arranged, or biological)
- Children (from arranged families, those who have kids before UBF, 2nd gen UBF a.k.a chapter director kids)
- Connections(Pre-UBF, anti-UBF)
- Christian Theology
- Support Groups
- Deprogramming process
- Hobbies
- spiritual recovery/healing
There will also be other articles in between the series by me or other authors/users. So the ones that are part of this series will be distinguishable by the title “How to leave UBF for good________” with the blank being whatever topic that is being covered in that article. The target audience is current members, however, the series is helpful to ex-members as well.
Final note: I would like to thank my support group a.k.a the ex-members of the chapter I used to go to for their support and love. I would like to also thank Wikigoat, C.W., J.S., C.Z, and others for their support and love as well. I would like to also thank MJ Peace and Ben for bringing up the concern regarding this site being figuratively open to current members as well for they gave me the thought to be considerate of current members as well as ex-members.
Here is a list complication of the series thus far if you have missed it:
http://ubfriends.net/how-to-leave-ubf-for-good-series-thus-far/
Eddie, this will be an interesting series. I look forward to seeing what people think about the topic, as some reject the cult label UBF has earned over the decades.
I will be sending you my article on this subject soon. I have much to share, but will try to condense it into something helpful. This is your site now, so it is a good opportunity to make you own decisions based on various feedback and comments. Here’s to a brighter 2017!
My thoughts from 2011:
“Expressing my thoughts on this blog and to some extent on ubfriends.org, helped me keep my sanity and provided psychological stability. Meeting in person with many friends helped me (and our family) to have emotional stability. Most importantly, the vocal method of leaving allowed all UBF leaders to hear my story firsthand (via emails and blogs) so that no one could turn the tables and claim I was just leaving out of “bitterness toward one leader” or out of a “dislike for Koreans”. My blog demonstrates these things are not true.
If you are considering leaving UBF, I won’t advise you either way. I only advise you to focus on facts and think for yourself. Please know that you are not alone. Understand that the burden of proof is on UBF leaders, not on you. It is not your fault. You are not required to feel guilty for leaving for any reason.
And finally, you are not required to give any reason for leaving a church other than, “I don’t want to stay.”
http://ubfriends.net/priestlynation/how-to-leave-ubf/index.html