Believe it or not, yes I was a UBF leader. I was a Shepherd, a Fellowship Leader and a Chapter Director over the course of two decades. I was an insider of insiders. I now realize one more reason why I participated so strongly–God had a plan to expose the UBF leadership through me. I knew KOPAHN theology very well. I understood the ins and outs of UBFism. I knew how to use the UBF-speak insider language well. I was “sold out for Jesus” and fully committed to making America a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. Here are my confessions, which continues the confession series of articles on the old ubfriends site.
Susan’s recent testimony and off-line discussions with me reminded me of so many things I had buried in my mind, hoping to forget. I am prompted now to write to you to share my confessions. This is what I experienced as a leader at Toledo UBF. Chicago and other chapters may indeed have different behavoirs. I suspect that there are similarities. Maybe one day ubfriends will share many more confessions of UBF leaders?
These are the shameful practices I particpated in and/or enabled at Toledo UBF:
Tracking “sheep” information. We leaders met many times a week. As a fellowship leader, my weekly testimony was more of a fellowship report. At every meeting, I was charged with reporting the status of the members of my fellowship. Sometimes we did not report all the details but often enough was shared so that everyone knew each member’s current situation, week by week.
Manipulating situations to be miraculous. Because we knew the condition of each “sheep” and each fellowship member, as leaders we could begin to manipulate situations to our benefit. For example, one “sheep” really needed a job. One leader shared how they could get the “sheep” a job interview, and likely the job. Behind the scenes, the Shepherd would set things up so the “sheep” didn’t know what was going on. The “sheep” would then be so grateful to God who gave them a new job–a job magically so close to campus and was “God’s will” to stay in the city and remain in UBF. This did not always work out, and I think such things backfired sometimes. But we saw ourselves as grand blessing givers.
Arranging marriages. As a fellowship leader, I knew who was going to be married long before the two people knew. We sometimes help confirm “God’s will” as we discussed the two candidates for marriage as a group. Looking back, arranging marriages to be “house churches” consumed a majority of our time. That was why we had a “sister house” and a “brother house”. Those were the prime candiates for marriage.
Stupid training for obedience. We gave so many weird trainings. One time I was told to give “suit training” to one Shepherd who was about to be arranged married. I was supposed to take him shopping and train him to wear a very specific color and kind of suit. But he chose another suit. I failed at giving “suit training” but I am ashamed I agreed to attempt it. I was not good at such things.
Reviewing Offering Reports. I personally created and delivered offering reports every week to the chapter director for many years. We would read through everyone’s offering and find out whose offering had slipped, who had offered generously and whose name had a zero by it. This often factored into who would be blessed with various activities, such as a mission trip or a special role in an upcoming conference.
Fake fishing. I got so exhausted by the fishing quotas for fellowship leaders that I started wondering campus by myself. I never talked to anyone during my later “fishing times”. That didn’t seem to matter. As long as I went fishing on campus (i.e. recruiting for new members), I was off the hook. I also had 1:1 Bible study with stuffed animals to pad my numbers. These things kept me looking good on the oustide.
I helped remove negative UBF info from the internet. In early years at UBF, technology was taboo. Some told me my computer generated Bible study notes were evil and very unspiritual. But in later years, the attitudes changed among leaders. We embraced technology. What a find! You could text or follow up on “sheep” instantly! Cell phones and the internet made tracking “sheep” so much easier. I worked with Sarah Barry herself and a few people in Chicago to “cleanse the internet”. I foolishly thought we could control the UBF image by reporting various anti-ubf websites, manipulating the Wikipedia article and by clicking the “dislike” buttons on sites like Urban Dictionary. I told people to not read the anti-ubf websites.
I hated my UBF leadership life. Most importantly, I confess that I hated the life of a UBF leader. I hated sitting through the boring meetings. I hated the fear of that call from the chapter director to discuss the status of my fellowship members. I hated singing that God-forsaken hymn every Sunday. I hated staying up past midnight every Saturday for messenger training. As a leader, I had already exhausted all that UBF had to offer, including my own arranged marriage. Now I was supposed to find students and train them in the path I had taken. But the truth was that I hated that path. I rarely expressed this however.
If you are a UBF leader reading this, what are your confessions?
“If God should please, the Holy Spirit could at this moment make every one of you fall on your knees, confess your sins, and turn to God. He is an Almighty Spirit, able to do wonders.”
–Charles Spurgeon
What part of Christ do we have if we, as leaders, never confess our sins?
Ben would probably say “you’re right, but the leaders don’t *recognize* that what they’re doing is sinful.” That’s the reason why I keep mentioning sins like the forced abortions: because there is no discussion possible here – these deeds committed with the authority of the “servant of God” and the organization can easily be recognized as sinful even by the most hardcode UBF member. They were committed by the top leadership, and covered up by the 2nd level top leadership. And unless there is no corporate repentance for such deeds, the leaders of this organization have no part in Christ and the organization cannot be called a church. To me, it’s as simple as that.
Chris, this is one of the other core issues with the leadership at ubf:
“the leaders don’t *recognize* that what they’re doing is sinful.”
Right. They say that in spite of any problems, it is their intention that we should look at. I remember one Korean missionary and also an American shepherd repeatedly and emphatically telling me “we meant well”, at the last in person meeting I had at Toledo ubf.
The ubf leadership wants us to believe the following:
1. There are only one or two disgruntled former members.
2. There are just a couple bad chapter directors who have been “dealt with”.
3. Their intention to love Jesus should supersede any bad image they have gained.
4. They are the Lord’s anointed, charged with being the shepherds of college students
5. Because of God’s calling, they are the spiritual parents for any young people they meet.
This is an entirely un-Christian attitude. Jesus made things clear in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5,6,7) that our intentions do not count toward righteousness. It is our actions that express righteousness.
Jesus said even if you never committed murder, you have no righteousness on your own, “I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment….” Matthew 5:22
Jesus said even if you never committed adultery, you have no righteousness on your own, “I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart…” Matthew 5:28
Nowhere in any Bible passage do I read that these things do not apply to ubf leaders. In fact, Jesus emphasized that such teachings are DIRECTLY for such leaders.
It is time we call them out.
I have written about this when all this started several years ago but it is still relevant. I gave ubf leaders DOUBLE HONOR for 24 years. Now I am PUBLICLY charging every ubf member in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels to speak up. I am reproving the ubf leaders before everyone, so that the others may take warning. 1 Timothy 5:17-21
Summary REBUKE of Korean Authority in UBF
I think motives of deeds is the point: if an individual tries their best to handle a situation it is one thing, but if a leader has ulterior intent for organizational gain at the expense of the individual, it is another
Brian,
Thank you SO VERY MUCH for giving the insider view of leadership that so many of us were never privy to! I knew something was very wrong, but I never knew the lengths and measures to which leadership was involved in the tracking and manipulation of our lives.
You are absolutely right: like the apostle Paul, you are uniquely qualified and equipped to expose and testify to the ways and workings of the UBF Pharisees. My experience only gives a sliver of what was really going on behind the scenes. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for heeding God’s call to expose them, to share your own pain-filled and honest experience, and for trying to make things right for those who suffered alongside of you. Your tireless work will assuredly be blessed both here and in heaven.
Romans 8:28 reminds us that God is working in all of these things to bring about good in the lives of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Joseph’s story of reconciliation with his brothers in Egypt reminds us that we, too, can trust that what others intended for evil, God intended to use for our good! No man and no thing can thwart God’s good, good plans and future for our lives. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God does not intend us harm, but rather intends good for our lives and a hope for our future.
Continue on in your good fight of faith!!!
Thanks, Brian. Like most leaders in UBF, I have been involved in the arranged marriages (“marriage by faith”) of several dozen couples. Though I would no longer do things the same way as in the past (too much manipulation, control and politics!), I have little regret about the couples that I and others helped marry, because these families, for the most part, have been happily married, both in UBF and also with those couples who have left UBF.
But, yes, I am very sorry that I caused and influenced all the couples I helped marry to “absolutely” conform without question to UBF standards, UBF expectations, UBF traditions and UBF leaders.
Because of this, though the couples are happily married today, some of their memories and experiences about their “UBF wedding” and being a “house church” in UBF was unpleasant and even traumatic. For this, I wish to sincerely apologize to all whom I have hurt as a result of me making sure that they become a “good (obedient and submissive) UBF house church.”
I was married by faith for 19 years, then we finally had enough of the fighting and we divorced. After the divorce, I learned from my teenage and young adult children that 2 of them had been considered for arranged marriage, while they were 14 and 16!!!!! I, their mother but apparently not a member on the inside, knew nothing of these plans. I would never had allowed it had I known. Can anyone explain to me why I never knew of these behind the scenes manipulations?
Beka
Ubf Shepherding is centered around being the new parents for students.
That includes being new parents for 2nd gens, especially for non-Koreans. The actual parents are typically the last to find out.
We always spoke to the 2nd gens’ shepherd, not the parents. Your authority as a parent means nothing to ubf shepherds and missionaries.
That was a big factor in our leaving– we do not want any shepherd near our children!
“Your authority as a parent means nothing to ubf shepherds and missionaries.” wowser, in consequence I see hell-fire nipping at such unspiritual leaders heels!!!
Oh, Beka!
I feel for you and thank God that your children were spared!!! This revelation that parental authority was rendered null and void by UBF leadership takes their evil to a whole new level! Honestly, this is on par with tyrannical governments that usurp parental rights (a slippery slope that US political elitists’ would love to accomplish here!) It reminds me of a quote from media elitist Melissa Harris-Perry, when she was clamoring for a collectivist view of children when she claimed that children did not belong to their parents, but instead belonged to their communities. What hogwash! The dystopian novel called Agenda 21 gives a glimpse of what children raised by “the collective” would be like. Not a pretty picture.
Brian, it made me sick to my stomach when my children told me this. Apparently my husband did know and was a part of it. I now tell everyone I know about University Bible Fellowship and its cultic tendencies.
My oldest daughter is now married to a Mexican man of God and living in Mexico. The person in charge of the study abroad program there (my daughter studied abroad in Mexico) is very aware of University Bible Fellowship.
Good to hear from you again! We pray for your family’s continual healing.
Yea that is another layer of issues… Ubf is a very strong patriarchy. Men rule. Communication is often among the men only for important decisions.
This is why I have often said that ubf will shut down when the women speak up. God help them when the women’s stories hit the internet…