Hey I thought I would help out the Washington ubf chapter in their ultra-exciting job search! Yes that’s right folks, the Chapter Director is stepping down, because, well he has just been so successful. Here are more details about the job.
JOB DETAILS
Title:
Pastor… or Chapter Director (they are not sure which it is)
Qualifications:
- 40 year commitment
- Serve until age 70 (does that mean you must be 30 years or less?)
- Be like Joshua in the Bible (maybe minus all the killing?)
- Expand the kingdom of God among USA college students with God’s clear calling and challenging leadership
- Don’t do all the abusive stuff the other leaders have done but didn’t do.
- Do something about all the cars in the kitchen… “Our Bible center has 12 study rooms, a youth hall, a dining hall, a library, a nursery, and a ktichen with 60 parking spaces.”
BENEFITS
“Washington UBF will provide housing, salary and other expenses for the director/pastor.”
To apply, read here:
“Term will be until the age of 70 as long as the pastor/director desires to do so unless there are serious problems like controversy or criticism through accounting fraud, sexual harrassment, or unacceptable behaviors within the church community. The position can be terminated 2/3 votes of the board of elders stipulated in the constitution of Washington UBF.”
http://www.ubf.org/announcements/prayer-next-successor-washington-ubf-pastordirector
Wait a minute, did the Onion hack the ubf website? This can’t be for real.
It’s real… Here’s an added incentive. As a former ubf Chapter Director, I can tell everyone that there is also “ubf insurance” available. Being Chapter Director, er I mean pastor, at ubf has become quite lucrative. Free housing, good salary, and lots of freedom to eat at all kinds of restaurants and fly in jet planes to attend many conferences. Oh just one catch: you must be bound to UBFism for life.
All that… IF you are Korean btw. They left off that requirement.
Perhaps they will get a surprise applicant from the competing UBF chapter a few blocks away.
I guess they have money to pay the new director, but couldn’t afford a proof reader… I still can’t get over the “ktichen with 60 parking spaces.”
Someone might want to save this “classic historical” job opening link, ‘cus I think that once someone gets wind of this, the job (or rather link) might disappear.
Brian, sarcastic much!!??
Don’t miss visiting UBF’s new pinterest page!
That’s hilarious, Chris! We probably shouldn’t make (too much) fun of a foreigner’s poor command of the English language, vocabulary, grammar, spelling, sentence structure, nuances, etc. That might be close to being racist! 🙂
Pointing out “a kitchen with 60 parking spaces” is just harmless fun.
What I find very unseemly is a current director openly praising himself as someone who “serves God’s flocks with humility and love.” Year after year, I heard him deliver reports in which he gushed about how humble and loving he was and how everyone in his ministry loved each other so much. And all the while, there was a steady stream of people leaving his ministry because they couldn’t get along with him and because he simply could not handle conflict, criticism or disagreement. On many occasions I saw him act in ways that were manipulative, boorish and deceptive. When I tried to discuss issues with him in private, he dodged responsibility and blamed every problem on other people in his ministry and people from other chapters.
Thanks, Joe, It’s hard to read about such painful pathological leadership. What is even sadder is the seemingly sheer inability to listen to an opinion contrary to your own high estimation of yourself.
It goes against almost everything that the Bible fundamentally teaches. Matthew 5:3,5; 11:29; Romans 12:3; Philippians 2:3 immediately comes to mind.
Ben, you should grant us Germans a little fun and Schadenfreude, too.
Hey everyone, I just want to share my apologies, for apparently I misunderstood. The amazing ubf webteam has corrected the typo in their report.
They do NOT have a problem with 60 parking spaces in their kitchen. Praise God!
The parking is in the dining hall:
“Our Bible center has 12 study rooms, a youth hall, a dining hall, a library, a nursery, and a a dining hall with 60 parking spaces.”
*updated* job opening at Washington ubf
The requirements remain the same however: commitment to age 70… fix the car problem in the dining hall…
On a more serious note, typos are not the issue here. I have typos in my books…
The serious issue is the fact that they want a commitment until age 70. That is what they should tell every teenage college Freshman they meet: commit to UBFism until age 70 and submit to arranged marriage.