Three scapegoats have been seen doing horrendous acts. The three goats are named Bentoo, JoeCool and DarkLord.
These are the tales of the mighty scapegoats…
Bentoo has supposedly created a new web-based device that controls people’s minds. His entire clan of Loopers have had the device implanted. They don’t write sogams or eat daily bread absolutely anymore. They even stopped fishing! Bentoo has also reportedly created a secret plan to rule ubfland as the new General Director. As the saddest of the three goats, Bentoo has been observed corrupting the minds of joyful ubfsheep.
JoeCool has been in hiding. Rumor has it he disappeared in a terrible storm one night after wrecking havoc on ubfland. Before the storm, Joecool supposedly stirred up much trouble by inciting Korah’s rebellion. He even created an evil website that continues to linger on the dark interwebs, spewing hateful comments about ubfland and tempting young ubfsheep with evil desires.
DarkLord is purported to be the most sinister of the three goats. He has been actively creating something called Wikipedia and Facebook, just to bring dishonor on ubfland. With masterful deception, Darklord is supposedly destroying the walls of ubfland and aiming to rain down fire from Heaven on all precious ubfsheep, especially those in California.
Stay tuned for more exciting adventures of The Three Scapegoats! Sneak preview: A new goat named WheatBasher joins the three befuddled goats on their dastardly journeys…
For some strange reason, I can really relate to Bentoo. People are not aware of this, but he is even mentioned in the Bible (Lk 4:39, NIV; Lk 13:11; Jn 20:5, NIV, Jn 20:11, NIV)!
Here’s some extra nuggets not known by many: Bentoo no longer “focuses on campus mission,” which is a gravely unforgivable mortal sin in ubfland! Interestingly, his insistence that he’d rather focus on Jesus and the gospel was not well received. Finally, once he tried to propose that humility be the “core value” of ubfland, but it was frowned upon and not welcomed.
At a recent ubfconference (one of three scheduled for the year by this UBF chapter), one of the main messengers declared in a main message that DarkLord had created a website to criticize UBF. To criticize UBF for what? To criticize UBF for being opposed to gay marriage. That is all.
Darklord says he is willing to review this “main message”…ubf message criticism
Interesting. The leaders won’t allow anyone to challenge their own weird practices of same-sect marriage. But they eagerly use the pulpit to criticize people on the outside. Whatever happened to Matthew 7:5? And why are some Christians so eager to outlaw other people’s sins?
It is rather hilarious that ubfers really love a homo-sect, for that is what UBFism creates… but they can’t stand homo-sects.
Another irony…Homo-sects are flooding their Bible houses with sin, apparently, and yet they pay no attention to the massive plank in their eye.