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Move on with your life – don’t blame the Church

This is the typical advice you get from a cult that does not want to change.

Leah Remini, one of my favorite actors – though I actually only know her from “King of Queens” – got the same advice when she started to speak out about her experience and tried to warn and help others:

Dropouts are pushed to move on so that the cult can also move on undisturbed, exploiting the next generation of victims.

Luckily, there are always a few who don’t just move on, but also care about revealing the truth to the public.

It’s difficult. You will lose your former “friends” in the cult, and even worse, you may lose family members still stuck in the cult. People outside the cult will not understand what you’ve gone through and why you stayed in that toxic environment for so long, they may think you’re crazy. But leaving the cult is the best thing you can do, and telling others about your experience is even better.

Thank you, Leah.

(See also: Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath)


spIf it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village to abuse one.

Before the end of 2015 the film Spotlight was released but seemingly went unnoticed by the popular audience. This film recalls a play-by-play account of the uncovering of the pedophile ring in the Roman Catholic Church, specifically in the Boston area, but outreaching to the entire world. The importance of this film goes without question. I am not interested in providing a summary or review, because there are various media sources for such a purpose. Rather, it is important to raise the crisis of physical (including sexual) and spiritual abuse among religious communities. For the community on ubfriends we are familiar with these issues and we are not afraid to speak up. In fact, anyone who has participated in any New Religious Movement (NRM) is also familiar with the fact that outlets for exposure are limited and once inside even family is distanced or even removed and replaced altogether.

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Cookie Theology

Yesterday, I just watched the movie Bridesmaids for the first time and there is a certain scene that keeps playing over in my head. I usually don’t watch rom-coms, but there is so much similarity between me (and I would say any human being for that matter) and the main character Annie, that I had to share. The emotions of this movie are quite profoundly raw and authentic. And if we’re really honest I think we can all relate with the feelings of jealousy and rage that this particular scene portrays.

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