“Forgiving Myself” by Joshua
Joshua’s recent comment moved me to tears. His words, phrases, comments and articulation strike at the core and at the root of the matter regarding “shepherding” that needs to be seriously and intentionally addressed and drastically re-thought. This is what Joshua wrote that touched my heart (The bullet points are my insertion):
The hardest part about leaving spiritual abuse is forgiving myself for letting (spiritual abuse to) happen.
- Forgiving myself for letting my wife to be trampled on and treated little more than just a “sheep’s wife.”
- Forgiving myself for allowing leaders to attack her and malign her while I said nothing. Continue reading →
Keep Spiritual Order
My thesis is that spiritual “order” is equality as in the Trinity, not hierarchy. Where hierarchy prevails, it butchers the Trinity, and makes Christianity ugly.
Keep spiritual order. Over the last three decades in UBF, I have often heard and used the phrase, “Keep spiritual order.” I explained the order as “God, man and the world.” It correctly teaches that God, who is the Creator, is the Lord of creation. Thus, in Christ and through the gospel, man should keep this spiritual order by submitting to and obeying God from his heart.
Guilt tripping. However, my implicit practical meaning is that my Bible student should listen to what I (and other UBF leaders) tell them, because I am their shepherd and Bible teacher, who is “above” them. This implicit meaning and communication is what I believe has led to scores of misapplication, guilt tripping, control, manipulation, wounding, and misunderstanding.
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How You Glorify Yourself
This could just as easily be titled, “How I glorify myself.” Why do we do this? It is part and parcel of our fallen humanity. It really does not matter how long one has been a Christian, for we all invariably default to self. We fall short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23) by glorifying ourselves and drawing attention to ourselves. Even our very best righteous acts are like filthy rags (Isa 64:6), because we prefer to reflect our own flawed righteousness (cf. Phil 3:9), rather than God’s perfect righteousness through Christ (1 Cor 1:30). So, how do we glorify ourselves? (This is loosely based on Paul Tripp’s two posts: 5 Signs You Glorify Self and 5 More Signs You Glorify Self.)
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Do You Link Your Shepherding With Your Salvation?
What is the real source of your happiness? We Christians are rightfully so happy when someone accepts Christ through our shepherding and Bible teaching. I love going to Manila every year because I am elated beyond words that many young students are openly responding to the gospel I share with them. Jesus’ disciples were too. When Jesus sent out the 72 to proclaim the kingdom of God (Lk 10:9), they were overjoyed at the success of their evangelism. They said excitedly, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name” (Lk 10:16). Jesus was happy about the defeat of Satan (Lk 10:18). Yet he said seriously to his disciples and to us, “Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but that your names are written in heaven” (Lk 10:20). It meant, “Do not link your ministry success with your salvation.”
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Are UBF Shepherds Unobtrusive?
What does “unobtrusive” mean? Last week when I was praying with a friend who is a UBF leader, I prayed for him to be unobtrusive. The word “unobtrusive” just popped into my mind as I was praying for him. It was unplanned. It was as though the Holy Spirit put that word in my mind while I prayed for him. After we prayed, he asked me what “unobtrusive” meant. I said, “To not be in the way of other people.” Then I apologized to him, because he was not really an obtrusive leader. In fact, while apologizing to him for implying that he was obtrusive, I realized that it should be my prayer for myself, because by nature, I am an obtrusive sort of person. My wife lovingly calls me “highly annoying,” which I often regard as a compliment of the highest order. Since then, the word “unobtrusive” has been on my heart and mind. I began asking myself a question, “Should a Christian leader, pastor, Bible teacher, shepherd be obtrusive or unobtrusive?” I thought that the answer is quite obvious. But are those of us who are in positions of Christian influence unobtrusive?
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Are UBF Leaders Cult Leaders?
Question. Brian asked a legitimate question on a previous post Spiritual Bullying: “Does Mr. Ludy explain what many senior UBF leaders have been doing for 50 years?” Ludy describes in great detail the multiple characteristics of controlling and manipulative cult leaders in A Cult Leader’s Worst Nightmare.
My answer (which may please no one) is: “No, but … UBF has (what cult groups have called) cult-like behavior.” Why?
UBF leadership is authoritarian and hierarchical. Authoritarianism invariably results in cult-like behavior by both the Christian leader and their members. For 2 decades as a UBF fellowship leader, I practiced most, if not all, of what I describe below. I am convinced that many in UBF can relate to or have personally experienced the following (If this is not true, please refute and categorically contradict!): Continue reading →
My Original Intent…
My post–Samuel Lee was not overbearing–“happened” as I was intending to write about authoritarian Christian leadership (again!): “NOT lording it over others like the rulers of the Gentiles” (Mt 20:25-26; Mk 10:42-43), “NOT overbearing” (Tit 1:7), and “NOT lording it over those entrusted to our care” (1 Pet 5:2-3). My original title was “Not Overbearing, but Meek.” But such a title was too bland and boring and it would not generate much interest or discussion. So I changed it to a more provocative title, and provocative it was! Sorry.
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Samuel Lee Was Not Overbearing
Samuel Lee was Meek (and Authoritarian). Those who read this blog know I have a very positive sentiment toward Samuel Lee, our UBF founder. I freely acknowledge that Lee was authoritarian. (This still offends some who insist that UBF people should never critique their leaders, which is perhaps an Asian ideal.) But Lee was not overbearing in his personal interaction with me, even though he was authoritarian. He spoke to me about intimate details of his own life. When he rebuked me, it was often gentle and laced with appropriate humor that had me smiling while knowing I was being reprimanded. Whenever he sensed I wanted something (which I often did not vocalize), he would do his best to comply with my wishes even when he disagreed with me. I always felt that Lee knew my heart, both the good and the bad. Because of many such memorable expressions of meekness extended toward me over the 2 decades that I knew him, I freely acknowledge that Lee was clearly an anointed man of God who loved me as my spiritual father, and who inspired many among Koreans and natives in many nations to live for Christ and for his kingdom, including myself to this very day.
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Ben-2012 to Ben Toh-1998
A friend described me as “scientific and analytical.” I accepted her assessment. I realize (from my wife) that it is a pain to be scientifically and analytically scrutinized. I, Ben-2012, will now scientifically and analytically cause some pain to Ben Toh-1998.
Dear Ben Toh-1998
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Let Local Leaders Lead
In Manila, I am witnessing a vibrant work of the Holy Spirit in Philippines UBF, which I have not experienced in 32 years as a Christian in UBF USA. John Baik’s recent report of El Camino UBF from 2/28/2012 is encouraging and inspiring with many Americans coming to Christ and being fired up for evangelization through 1:1 Bible study. With UBF Founder Samuel Lee serving my fellowship at UIC, I personally experienced many UIC students becoming Christians in the late 80s and 90s who committed themselves to living for mission. But this influx of students and new Christians has not continued in the past 1 to 2 decades. Why? What, if anything, can be done?
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