**was originally submitted on UBF: Ur Being Flat on 9/30/16**
Leaving an organization like UBF is often a messy, complicated process. The level of emotional and spiritual manipulation that one has experienced by the time they are compelled to leave can lead to stress, anxiety, fear and confusion. Cult dogma that has been grafted in and emotionally hardened over the course of years is not easily tossed aside, and it is not simple to sort out the truth from the twisting. Am I really leaving God’s will? Does this mean that I’ve compromised in my faith? But what about all the good things that have happened in the ministry?
Therefore, when the time comes that the Spirit prompts one to leave an unhealthy church, it is the start of a long, bumpy process. Here are some things that helped me along the way.
For almost an entire week I’ve had interesting heated exchanges with a friend on Facebook. The subject being discussed is probably secondary, since the exchanges became rather nasty and personal. My friend felt as though I was being superior, self-righteous, condescending and hurtful by always insisting that I was right, while I thought that I was simply not agreeing with his insistence of his opinion and his point of view. The ad hominems and personal attacks increased as he brought up many of my past failures and sins over the past few decades, to stamp home the point that I’m just the exact same sinner that I was in the past which everyone in my church fellowship knew and who would all agree with him that I am this unbearable and insufferable sort of person.
I often say unashamedly that the best thing UBF ever did for me was to arouse within me the utmost desire to read and study the Bible every day of my life. This passion for reading and studying and devouring Scripture has not subsided in me since I came to UBF and 
“You’re just anti-UBF” (or “pro-UBF”). Or “You’re just a conservative Republican.” Or “You’re just a liberal Democrat.” Or “You’re just stubborn, selfish, self-centered, self-obsessed and stupid!”