UBF’s Expectations or God’s?

ExpectationAdmin Note: This is a comment to Sin Is Having An Identity Other Than In God:

“For 27 years my (Ben Toh’s) identity was in my faithfulness to never miss a UBF Sun worship service, never miss any meetings, never miss writing a testimony every week, never missing any UBF conferences, having 10 1:1 Bible studies a week, etc. I did well as a UBF man. Yet, though I love Jesus, my identity was not in Christ but in what others in UBF expected of me.”

This is what is so blinding here. I think people can attest to these things that you listed. These are some of the expectations for a faithful member of UBF. As long you do these things, you’re growing. Well that’s what it seems to be. As Christians, our identity should be rooted in Christ, but with the environment of UBF that’s really hard to overcome, since there are the human shepherds who are supposed to be in charge of their members in UBF. As a young member or college student, you’re accountable to your shepherd as to whether you’re growing or not. The shepherd seems to have the final say. The shepherd has the final approval of basically everything in your walk with Christ. So basically you’re really trying to live out the expectation of your shepherd rather than Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd.

Is this true? Is this reflective of the experience of UBFers and exUBFers? Is this accurate? Inaccurate? Right? Not right? Neutral? Why?


  1. big bear

    Ben this needs some real serious discussion in UBF….yesterday my ex wife texted me that she will always love me and was sorry for throwing me out and how I am growing in love for our children….she can see I have become a better father and believer since leaving UBF….I believe you get caught up in the abusive system because you are thankful for Christ saving you but forget that it was He who saved you not UBF….it can happen in any church…yes I believed my shepherd was God…but I recently found him in LA….he has been out of UBF for some time and belongs to no church..we talk and does notvwant to talk about UBF but happy I wrote my book…it is long overdue.
    ….I pray you will encourage people to read it to learn from it and make families better…I love you for addressing these issues and for being real…I am happy you are in UBF as a voice and for this website….it is hard to admit we are wrong and broken…but it was the only way for me to get healed and continue to grow in his love

  2. forestsfailyou

    I told my shepherd last night that I did not want to be introduced to anyone for marriage. He gave me a confused look, as if to say “I have not even considered this. Why would you have?” Then he said that all we could do it pray. He then immediately contradicted himself by stating that my friends testimony to ‘find a suitable helper’ in Korea had been what led him to engagement. I told him I did not want to be at a bible conference and be introduced to a Sarah Kim or Hannah Choi or whatever combination of 5 first and 5 last names UBF has.

    • Mark Mederich

      critical point is sincerity: if someone was trying to sincerely help believer’s marry/have happy life as believer family-good,
      but if ulterior motives like build an empire/work for the machine-bad

  3. big bear

    Amen…..God alone will give you a wife……date and pray….it might be someone outdide of UBF.

    …….do not let someone pick your wife…..you know yourbself more than anyone…..do not get stuck in a loveless marriage but seek God and date prayerfully

  4. big bear

    The bible says ” a man who find a wife is good thing”…….does not say a bible teacher of a crazy religious group find you a wife…Genesis teaches a man will leave his father and mother to be united to his wife….prayerful find a wife and do not be intimidated by any religious leader..trust God and date prayerfully and often…dont be trapped in a loveless marriage and a place where families are second class citizens