Top 10 Things Not to Say to an Ex-UBFer

tSorry to post this the same day as your movie post Ben, but I’m a late-night TV sinner not a movie sinner like you :) I couldn’t resist sharing this Top 10 List after our discussions this week. So drum roll please…

10. All churches are bad.

9. Everyone is a sinner.

8. God bless you.

7. I’m so sorry for what happened to you.

6. You’re just bitter.

5. Why don’t you move on with your life?

4. Stop bashing UBF!

3. You are acting like Korah.

2. Would you like to study the bible?



  1. Probably you should also not say: You are ungrateful, unthankful, childish, immature, racist.

    I might be wrong but I think that a common root wrong unbiblical sentiment is the implicit idea among some UBFers that “I OWN you and you OWE me.” (…for this life and the next!) Of course, no one ever says this. But their response to exUBFers or to any dissenter or objector seems to express this.

    • “I OWN you and you OWE me.”

      Yes Ben, that is a good way to describe the yoke that a ubf shepherd puts on God’s sheep. I broke free of that yoke by taking on Jesus’ yoke (which is nothing like an oxen’s yoke). This is a theme in my book that I’m writing: how to break free from the yoke that binds you. This is a gospel theme and a very important truth to discern from the Holy Scriptures.

  2. Probably you should also not say, “There are two sides to the story.”

    • That one used to piss me off royally Ben. But now I love it when someone says that to me, because it is true. In fact there are as many “sides” to every story as there are people involved. Each of us has our own perspective and we need to learn how to be respectful of each other’s perspective.

      I am me. You are you. I am not you and you are not me. When we objectively examine multiple perspectives, we can discern some truths about a situation and then take appropriate action. We cannot just say, “your perspective has no truth or value whatsoever.”

  3. Related to “I own you and you owe me” is the subjective sentiment that I am above you, superior to you, wiser than you, more correct than you, my opinions and assessment is more valid than yours.

    I think that it is this strong undertow of a subjective implicit sentiment of superiority that simply squashes and destroys the beauty and mystery of the equality and unity of the Trinity.

  4. Here are some;

    You need to repent when they abuse you
    Dont forget God grace or you are nothing
    All churches teach bullshit
    Why are you having fun outside UBF
    Come back to Bible study
    Where have you been

    Like Brian, God set me free of the yoke of slavery by kicking me out…a blessing in disguise….getting kicked out was liberating:)))

  5. fellowshipbible

    It looks like you posted 10 through 2 and number 1 is missing what is number 1?

    • #1 was intentionally left blank. It refers to the most maddening thing ex-ubfers have to endure: silence.